Present in Every Moment: What Football Taught Lofa Tatupu About Fatherhood

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What does it take to raise confident, resilient children in today's complex world? Former Seattle Seahawks linebacker Lofa Tatupu opens the playbook on his parenting journey in this compelling conversation about finding your path through adversity.

The 2005 second-round draft pick and three-time Pro Bowler takes us back to his childhood as the only Samoan kid in Massachusetts, where he faced bullying and struggled to fit in. These early challenges, alongside his parents' divorce and losing their family home, became the forge that tempered his character and fueled his football career. "It was just failure, rise, failure, rise, failure, rise," Tatupu reflects. "How are we going to overcome this hurdle? That's how we do it, let's go."

What makes this conversation particularly powerful is Tatupu's transparency about parenting his two sons, each with distinct personalities and passions. Despite his football pedigree (his father played 14 NFL seasons), Tatupu places no pressure on his children to follow that path. When his older son revealed his true passion for music at a family gathering, Tatupu embraced it completely: "I don't care if you pick up a basketball or football ever again in your life. What I saw tonight was your path and your calling."

Tatupu's parenting philosophy centers on staying present with your children, truly seeing situations from their perspective rather than imposing your own. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing when your child "lights up" about something—that moment of genuine passion that signals their authentic path. His advice resonates whether you're raising future athletes, musicians, coders, or dreamers of any kind.

Discover how this NFL star is applying the lessons of mental toughness, resilience, and adaptability from football to the ultimate team sport—raising a family. Whether you're a sports fan or simply a parent looking for inspiration, this episode offers practical wisdom for helping your children find their way in an increasingly complex world.

Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
Hey everybody, it's CaseyJaycox with the quarterback dad
cast.
Welcome to season six, and Icould not be more excited to
have you join me for anotheryear of fantastic episodes and
conversations really unscriptedand raw and authentic

(00:25):
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax andlisten to today's episode on the
Quarterback Dadcast.

(00:45):
Well, hey, everybody, it'sCasey Jaycox with the
Quarterback Dadcast.
We're in season six and seasonsix continues to bring us some
fantastic guests, and our nextone is one, I think, for all my
beloved Seahawk fans you'regoing to enjoy our next guest,
who I met through a gentleman inmy community, the one and only
MK Bruce, who I think can benchpress like a thousand pounds.

(01:07):
But I also met our next guestbecause of the fine folks at
Treehouse, which is a nonprofitserving youth and foster care,
and I got invited to that eventbecause of a friend, amber Bush,
who's a partner at Clark Newber.
So thank you for your supportto Treehouse Our next guest.
I'm going to tease it.
See what everybody gets.
He's a 2005 second round pick bythe Hawks.

(01:28):
He's a former quarterback inMassachusetts.
He did play linebacker for afew years.
He came from King Phillip, wentto the University of Maine,
which I don't think a lot ofpeople know, but then he
transferred to USC Trojans fighton first team All-Pac 10 2004,
first team All-American in 2024.

(01:49):
I hope the guy has met WillFerrell at one point, but
everybody.
That's not why we're having himon.
We're having Lofa Tatupu on totalk about Lofa the dad and how
he's working hard to become theultimate quarterback or leader
of his household.
So, without further ado, mrTatupuu, number 51.
Welcome to the quarterback, dadcast my brother.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Thank you for the introduction and, yes, great,
I'm glad a lot of people skipuniversity of maine and I always
make sure to bring it back inbecause and I'm sure we'll get
into it you know that was whereit all started, you know, for in
terms of furthering my, myfootball career.
But, yeah, thank you formentioning them means a lot, man

(02:27):
, you bet.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Well, before I get into that question, um, I want
to uh, we always start eachepisode gratitude, so tell me,
what are you most grateful foras a dad today?

Speaker 1 (02:36):
I mean, how much time do you have, man?
Because just, their health andhappiness, um, I think, first
and foremost, just watching themcontinue on their journey and,
you know, finding what they loveis really giving me a lot of
fulfillment and joy andhappiness.
But, um, yeah, just, they'rehealthy and they're learning,
you know, every day, and so am I, so, um, and you know, grateful

(03:00):
for it all man.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
That's awesome, that's it's never.
I think I don't.
I don't think we can never slowdown enough to talk about that,
which is why I always like tostart with gratitude.
Um, for me, lofa, I'm mostgrateful for very similar um.
I had a fantastic conversationwith my son this morning.
He's a, he's a freshman incollege, playing golf at a small
school called southern oregon,and uh, it was doesn't have

(03:24):
anything to do with and uh, itwas.
It doesn't have anything to dowith where he's at, but it was
like we got this conversationaround, uh, life and
relationships and people.
And and um, you know one thingthat I've learned in life people
are either energy givers orenergy takers.
Um, and just reminded him thatevery situation you get in,
whether it's good or bad,there's going to be change,
there's going to be ups anddowns and you have control over

(03:47):
most environments.
That, if you choose the rightmindset.
Now, it's not always easy.
Um, but it was, uh, it was justa really fun conversation to to
kind of like as my soncontinues to mature and grow.
He's a 19 year old and I stillfeel like I'm his age, but I'm

(04:08):
not.
But I'm very grateful for thesetypes of conversations.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
I'm starting to have as he's entering that adult
world.
Yeah, no, brother.
Hey man, that was awesome tohear.
And I know what you're saying.
I feel my 14-year-old is veryemotionally intelligent, more so
than I've ever been, so I learna lot from him, more so than he
does from me.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
There you go, but yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
I learned a lot from him, more so than he does from
me.
These were conversations thatwe're not had when we were
growing up.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Good for you.
I don't know how much that'schanged.
If it's society or what, Inever thought in my wildest
dreams I'd be on Snapchat.
I've actually joked about thisbefore in previous episodes.
I had a client tell me about it.
He goes.
If you want to stay in touchwith your son in college, get on
Snapchat.
I'm like bro.
I'm like 49.
What am I going to get onSnapchat for?
But we have like a 250-daystreak.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Amazing.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
And it's not like oh, I got to talk to my dad today.
He's like no, this is what I do.
We talk, you know text snap.
I'm just grateful for that Likecause I did not talk to my
parents every day.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Wow.
And right now with the lines ofcommunication.
Literally we're not there.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
No, no, Well, um, bring me inside.
Uh, we'll call it the Tatupuhuddle, but bring me inside.
Maybe.
Talk about where you and yourwife met and then talk about
each, each member of the squadwhat they're up to.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Man.
I met my wife when she alwayssays when we were 13, because
that's when we first dated, butwe met when we were 11.
Um, there was ice skating rinkin franklin and friday or
saturday nights everybody usedto go there and so of course we
were dating other people.
But just happened, happened to,I think, the energy.
We understood it, felt like Ihad known her for years, even in

(05:51):
the first conversation, and sojust became really great friends
, dated briefly in what?
Seventh or eighth grade, andthen kind of went our separate
ways again.
Through high school I had agirlfriend and she had a
boyfriend, for you know thoseyears, and then, just as Faye

(06:11):
would have it, we both went offto college different places and
then we ended up meeting back upbecause, you know, two broke
college kids you're coming homeLike we're not going to.
Cancun or Cabo, like a lot ofkids get to experience.
We went home and, um, when Iwas home, we just, uh, connected
at a party and happened toactually finally not be in a

(06:34):
relationship and just startedhanging out.
And um, it just kind ofdeveloped over time through the
next semester when we came backhome for summer and it was like
summer love I guess, uh, but itwas meant to be.
And then, as um, you know, Itransferred and everything, but
yeah, so we just celebrated our15th wedding anniversary last

(06:57):
wednesday and uh thank you andwe, uh, I've known her for 30
years, 30, yeah, I'm 42 now.
So since I was 11, 12 years old,30 years, and so there's just a
lot of history.
And I think that's prettyspecial in the regard of, like,
hey, do you remember this or doyou remember when, like, we had

(07:17):
a lot of those conversations,you know, recalling the past?
Yeah, so that's the real leaderof the household and if you
want, I can get her on and shecan, like you know she's the gm
yes, so.
And then, um, you know, marriageis.
We had our first, um kai.

(07:37):
He's 14 now but, uh, you know,just uh, amazing spirit and old
soul, if you will.
And then he's got a youngerbrother, kane, who is very much
little lofa, and so I'm tryingto really help him, not control,

(07:59):
but come to terms with andunderstand his emotions, you
know, and why things heperceives in a certain way,
because I was the same way.
I was just very passionate,very energetic like him, but I
would fly off the deep end justlike every other second, just

(08:19):
like what'd you say?
Like I didn't say anything.
So, yeah, those are the membersof the household and what
they're into.
Uh, you asked my wife, yoga.
Um, she's a real estate agent,just got her license, very proud
, I mean, she does everythingshe can.
You know she can do everythingand much similar to the, the

(08:40):
oldest guy.
He uh, very musically inclined.
That is his path, I know thatand I told him that several
years ago.
He is playing sports and I'mhappy because he's understanding
teamwork, accountability.
You know everything.
You know no one does anythingspecial by themselves, not even
a musician.
They have a team around them ifthey want success, right and

(09:01):
hard work.
And then the youngest is justgetting into baseball and that's
got me really excited becausehe he's got the passion to, he's
the mindset and passion justlike okay, like I'm here, but I
know where I'm going, I can getbetter just every other day,
like just keep going um.
So it's different.
But yeah, he's into art, likeum what is it?

(09:23):
animation.
So we signed him up for likecode ninjas, where they taught
him coding.
Wow.
And and this is where he reallyshocked me, kids will shock you
, right I thinking that we werevery similar.
I really would have had a toughtime with learning coding
because if it didn't comenatural and it didn't for him, I
thought he was gonna just likeoh, this isn't for me, right,

(09:45):
which is kind of like what weall a lot of us did growing up,
like sure if you weren't didn'thave a little bit of success or
couldn't see long term bigpicture like where you're headed
with it.
You were discouraged, right, youknow.
Hopefully your parents helpedyou push through, right.
But he shocked me and he'smaking these amazing animations,
digital drawings.

(10:06):
It's awesome and um and so yeah, man, it's, every day is an
adventure and I'm grateful forit.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
That's awesome, that's cool, Um.
So I always love going back intime, um with with my guests and
and make them think about whatwas life like growing up for
them with my guests, and makethem think about what was life
like growing up for them.
And actually, before I do that,I got to say I have not met
many people that have dated aslong as my wife and I have, and

(10:35):
so my wife and I met in eighthgrade, so 13, 14, same, so very
similar paths.
She went to University ofWashington.
I played football there's myfirst Uncle Rico moment right
there at Central WashingtonUniversity.
She couldn't get into Central,so she went to UW, because it is
the Harvard of the West, asmany people know that.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
Love it.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Joking aside, but yeah, I definitely married up
too, and my wife keeps our housetight and she reads a defense.
I know what cover two is, butshe can read most coverages a
lot better than me and uh, Iknow what you're saying, brother
.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
I already know what you're saying.
But good, good for you man,good for you guys yeah, and we
just we actually just celebrated26 years.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Incredible, I know.
And uh, it's like I don't.
There's no one, no one else Ican't imagine spending life with
.
So it's's, uh, it's, I'm verygrateful for that, but, um, okay
, so I want to go back in time,the days of Massachusetts, talk
about what was life like growingup for you and the impact mom
and dad had on you.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Oh, man, everything, um, you know I grew up in
Massachusetts.
Um, you know it was.
I didn't know any differentbecause, but, as I would come to
experience more of life when I,you know, went on to college,
even going to Maine and thenCalifornia and then being here
in Seattle, you know, lookingback it was very different.
But at the time I didn't knowanything else because I was the

(11:58):
only Samoan in Massachusetts, atleast, other than I had two
others, my sister and my my dad.
But, um, so, just trying to uhmake sense of, like, really,
where I belong or or fit in, um,in the world, right, and uh,
but I always had two justpillars of strength and

(12:20):
encouragement, and both of them,my mom and my dad.
Um, they just always told me tochase my dreams and do what
makes me happy and football,that was it for me, like I
couldn't picture anything elseand I didn't want him.
It was, um, an obsession, like,really, that's really what it
comes down like.
When I was, I played, you had toplay.

(12:41):
Everything growing up there wasyou couldn't have a down season
, right, you had to playbasketball baseball something.
You couldn't have a down season, right, you had to play
basketball, baseball, something,whatever winter fall, and so I
played football.
Then we would go to basketballWhile I was in basketball I'm
talking about football when Iwent to baseball.
I'm talking about football, andI'm like watching reruns of
recorded football games, and itwas very clear to both my

(13:04):
parents that this was my path,and so all they did because it
wasn't always right successisn't just a straight shot or a
hockey stick, like everybodythinks.
It was like whoa, hey, oh, hey,maybe no like, and so, um,
having them there, you know,because there's times where,
especially, it's your first timeat all of this and you don't

(13:26):
know what you don't know, butthe encouragement like hey, you
got better and this is what youdid today, that was different
from yesterday.
I started, you know, putting apattern in my brain of like,
really calculating andunderstanding progress and
because I knew I was, I lovedwhat I was doing, even when I
wasn't one of the best playerson the field.

(13:48):
I just was like I'm meant to behere and so, yeah, having that
man, that's what I'm trying toimpart to my kids.
Whatever you're going to choose, it's going to be hard.
I love quotes and sayings.
You know that if you're'redoing what you love, you'll
never work a day in your life.
Well, if you're not going to be, if you're not, you're going to

(14:10):
be great at your what you do,like what you love.
If that's your attitude.
You never do, but I understandwhat it means.
Like you're going to feel, likeyou're not working.
Yeah, it's really going tocarry you through the dark times
is like, and so, um, that'sthat's why I just love like the
courage to stick through it andsee it through.
Um, and that's that's reallywhat I'm just trying to teach

(14:30):
the boys, like with my oldest.
I'm like dude, music is yourpath.
And like don't fight it, own it.
And I don't.
He he recently surprised mejust got up like and sang in
front of a hundred adults thathe didn't know at a birthday
party, like rapped, and it was a.
I've never had that experiencelike mind, body, soul, just like

(14:53):
I could feel the energy and itwas amazing and I gave him a big
hug and kiss after, and thenwhen we got home, we had a great
, meaningful conversation, muchlike you were saying with your
son, and I told him I go, hey,kyle, I don't care if you pick
up a basketball or football everagain in your life, I go.
What I saw tonight was your pathand your calling, and.

(15:16):
But you just got to pour yoursoul into it and I can show you
how to do, how I did that withfootball, right, yeah.
And and I just saw the biggestsmile on his face because you
know, I think he felt a lot ofpressure, probably to play, like
I never felt pressure to play,even though a lot of people
expected me to play.
I was like, no, this is what Ilove, and um, and so, like I

(15:39):
just I feel like I saw a senseof relief in him too, right,
right, um, and he's just beenupstairs in the studio every day
, like nonstop since, and I'mlike, yes, this is, this is how
it's done, like that was me whenI was young, right, like that
was us with football, right.
So, um, it was exciting, man,and um, yeah, it was really like

(16:01):
a transcendent moment in timefor me where I just it was an
experience.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
That's so cool.
You're bringing me back to likea story I had when I was a kid.
That when you kind of when youfind that passion, I remember I
was like a, I was the skinny.
You know there's a quarterback,supposed to be better than me.
He was a better athlete but Iwas in a didn't know at the time
just a better leader than himand but I remember my coach,

(16:30):
kind of what you just did yourson.
You instilled belief in him andwithout judgment, but belief,
which is why the signs behind mepeople can see, believe always
remind me that I believe what Ido matters, um, I and I.
I do work like as an executivecoach now, which I did not ever
plan on doing and help peoplejust think about that word which
you did a really good job withyour son and this coach.
I remember he told me, coachMarty Osborne, he goes, man,

(16:51):
you're going to be ourquarterback, but here's what you
got to do.
And so I was like, wait, whatLike I?
I didn't believe it myself andI think that separates people
like me.
Play at the D2 level to get tothe next level is like it's a.
It's another level of beliefand another level of
competitiveness that you justdon't know, but when you see it
it's like wow, um, anyway.

(17:13):
So I remember getting a job andat a fricking place called
Ernst, which is a I thinkthey've gone out of business
like a hardware store, and myfirst paycheck I use it to go
buy um supplies to build up likea little um l frame, where I
hung a tire in my backyard on asport court when I put a tarp
behind it and I literally wouldjust throw four, five, six

(17:34):
hundred balls a day by myselfamazing I love that and so I
mean, think about your parents.
I was joking what a parent'sdream.
Like they didn't have ipadsback when I was growing up, or
iPhones, but my, my, my parents,just like then.
I was not getting in trouble, Iwas out there playing football
by myself Cause I've known wecould run routes for me.
I'm just, I'm gonna throw intothe tarp I get practice baby.

(18:05):
I, I, when I have to call onthat ball, I Like that's, that's
awesome, man.
Thank you for sharing that.
Yeah, you bet man.
Okay, and this is not about me,it's about you, but you
inspired that story out of me.
So you think values wise andyou think about like pressure
and like you know the thingpeople could say man Lofa.
He had this crazy career andthe fact that you're already, I
think you're so present in yourmindset about not putting up
pressure on your kids, which ishuge, and, if my memory is

(18:25):
correct, your, your dad, playedfor the Patriots.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
He played 14 years.
13 of them were for thePatriots, and then one year for
the Rams, and then called it acareer, so like, and you
mentioned earlier, you didn'tfeel the pressure.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Where do you think your, that passion, that drive
came to say this is what I'mgoing to do?

Speaker 1 (18:43):
You know, my mom was probably the biggest champion of
like mindset and like you know,you know now she, her story is
pretty special too.
She's the oldest of seven, herdad's a Marine and her mom's Air
Force Right.
So there was some.
There was some structure put inplace on young love at a very

(19:04):
early age, wealth at a veryearly age, but also, just, hey,
this is how you do things andstrategic everything.
I was equipped with some weaponsthat a lot of kids weren't.
They always thought, oh well,his dad was a football player,
so he's got the genes andeverything.
I wasn't the athlete my dad was.

(19:30):
My dad was a phenomenal athletein every sport.
He had scholarships forfootball, baseball and
basketball back in the seventieswhen you were lucky, if you got
one scholarship Right, um, andso, yeah, you had to be making
some serious noise to haveschools flying out to Hawaii, um
and and trying to recruit you.
And so my mom, she was alwaysthere and I tell her stories

(19:56):
sometimes, of times I rememberwhere her words meant the world
to me.
Well, maybe I didn't believe,right, like when I was young,
and sometimes she forgets.
She's like I said that and Iwas like, yes, sometimes she
forgets.
She's like I said that and Iwas like, yes, you said that,
mom, like you know, and so, um,but I did always have the
understanding or the mindset ofI can get better and I will get

(20:19):
better, like that was somethingmy youngest, like I, was talking
about.
He has it, he'll sit and watchand watch and watch, and he's
just studying and he's trying tounderstand and make sense of it
.
Um, because he's a visuallearner, like I am, and so you
know, like film study and allthat.
That's really where I got myedge and where I took away other

(20:39):
people's superpowers, theathletically super gifted, like
superheroes, right, they becamenormal when I took their powers
away, I was like I know hismoves, I know his steps, I'm
counting them, and I thinkthat's the level you were.
You were asking me about Like,so the mindset.
It was developed from bothparents.
Um, and then I just alwaysheard stories of how tough my

(21:01):
dad was and then he would, justhe never talked football or
really like talked about beingtough, like he, just he just did
it Right and so I saw withexample, the toughness.
And then I would hear all hisfriends like, man, that's one of
the toughest guys.
And my understanding was I waslike, well, that's just a choice
.
Like, that's not.
No one's born with that orwithout it.

(21:21):
They can develop it Right, it'sa skill.
And so, yeah, from the effortand the toughness and the just
belief that was from my parents,they passed that down to me,
thankfully.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
Okay, so we talk about toughness and I think
that's something where when Iwas growing up I was born in 76,
so like 80s, I think dadsdidn't talk to their kids the
way dads talk to kids.
The I was born in 76.
So, like eighties, I thinkthere was, you know, dads didn't
talk to their kids the way dadstalk to kids.
Now I think, um, I don't meanto judge or stereotype everybody
, but, um, you know, toughness.
I didn't learn true mentaltoughness until I went through

(22:00):
the adversity in, like highschool.
I had a really bad injury thatreally prevented where I, which
is why I went to centralWashington.
But, um, and I learned about,like, life is not fair and it is
going to be hard at times, Um,but, and now I feel like dads
are doing a lot more, a lot moreinteracting.
We're a lot more embracing kindof the EQ of life around, you

(22:22):
know, embracing vulnerability,asking great questions Like are
you a listener?
Versus just like you know, sendthe kid out to play and they
you show up eight hours later.
I mean, there's some, some thatstill works wherever you may
live, but I think there's.
It seems like there's a moretendency to like really teach
mental toughness or teach mentalskills, and that's like that's
its own journey of like careersfor many people now, but like

(22:44):
for you, as you was there amoment where you feel like your
mental toughness or your, your,uh, your journey of like, making
that choice clicked, that youthink maybe a story might come
to mind.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
Oh, there's several.
Um, you know, I think, gettingbullied for looking different,
you know, when I was very youngand not understanding, like,
what was going on, like, what dothey mean?
What are they talking about,like, but as you understand more
and comprehend more, you'rejust like, oh, all right, well,
so you know you have to build alayer of, you know, extra skin

(23:19):
or tough skin and just, but, butmentally and emotionally, you
have to try to like, make peacewith it and just forgive.
And so, as that, you know,happened when I was young, um
then, so funny story, well, it'sfunny now.
It was, probably, it was.
It was very traumatic at thetime, you know, just, and it was

(23:43):
wasn't just words like bullying, like it was actually fist
fights, right, like this is olddays, right, and so you know you
have to go through hell, man,like, so who's it gonna be today
?
Like, who do I have to fight,you know, and like I was just
like eating punches left andright, like, just and like, but
nothing hurt worse than nottrying, like, that's what really

(24:07):
gets at you, like that is whattears away at your soul.
And but I didn't know anybody.
I knew I was like, hey, Iwasn't supposed to fight.
Yes, you can defend yourself,is what my parents said.
And like I just I didn't evenhave the heart at the time to do
that right.
And so then we finally go.
You know, a couple years laterI was probably like nine and, um

(24:29):
, we go to hawaii.
My dad's getting his jerseyretired at his uh, high school
and I'm like, oh, it's gonna begreat.
I'm gonna be around my cousinsand people that look like me.
It's gonna be awesome.
Like I'm actually gonna find afeel like I belong yeah so we go
out there and my cousins starttalking shit to me and they're

(24:53):
like twice the size of the kidsback east and they're the same
age.
They're just monsters.
But like at that moment I kindof snapped right.
Um, it's almost like I lovemarvel comics growing up.
You know, you wear the, the arcof the hero or the villain
right and yeah it wasn't pretty.

(25:14):
I snapped, I fought everybodyand uh, I, yeah, I.
I just finally sat therebecause I could feel it coming
again.
I was like, oh my god, you'regonna cower out again, are you
gonna do it like?
And I just snapped and I said,no, I've taken everybody's punch
, I'm going to show you my bestpunch.
And I just started throwingback at everybody and like, look

(25:35):
, any kid listening, this is not.
I'm not telling you to go joina fight club to get your mental
toughness down.
I'm just sharing my experienceand, and you know, hopefully we
can get something from it.
But um, then, uh, I came backhome and I was like everybody
saw a new Lofa was born.
Like it wasn't the same kidthat they were used to picking

(25:57):
on.
And they I mean whether theyfelt the energy or anything like
they were like all right, no,he doesn't have the same look in
his eye.
And so that was probably one ofthe first, because you're just
going to continue.
That's like you said.
Life it's not fair.
You're just going to keep goingthrough adversity and it's just
how you respond.
And so the next oneunfortunately, my parents grew

(26:20):
apart, which happens right, andthey divorced and it was kind of
a slow process which was tough.
Then, like I guess likestatistically they say 9 to 12
is like we're the worst uh timeto do it when a kid is in those
age range.
I was 9 to 12, so like it wasall about just a little more

(26:43):
trauma.
Let's sprinkle a little moretrauma on there right and I can
laugh at it now because ithelped build me, it helped make
me stronger, it helped meappreciate you know everything
and so, but and I remember atthe time, like my mom always had
, they both still always had,you know, love for us and I know
they loved each other, but theyhad just grown apart, which

(27:03):
happens Right.
And so my mom said, hey, hey,you know, things could always be
worse, like that perspective,and you know, picture a little
kid like how how is thatpossible?
like my whole world has justchanged.
I don't know what to make of it.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
And, uh, a year later we lostour house.
So, talk, talk about the otherlayer of toughness.

(27:27):
Wow, it was just a series overand over and over, and like,
when you have those thingshappen, it's, you know, sadly,
gonna could break you or couldjust make you into a different
type of beast.
And I said, okay, what am Igoing to do with everything I'm
feeling?
I'm going to channel it,harness it, and then I'm going

(27:49):
to channel it towards football.
And I was like and so like, ina very short time, because I was
not very good at football but Iwas loving it All of a sudden
you started to see me justascend and ascend, and ascend,
and like everybody was like, Idon't know, there's something
wrong with that guy.
It was like there was a lot,there's a lot wrong with that
guy.
But but just there became aclear understanding of like, hey

(28:15):
, man, things are going tohappen.
Like, like the only thing youcontrol, like they always say
effort and attitude, yep, canyou give it everything you have
and only you know that.
And then do you do it with apositive attitude, from the
right frame of mind andperspective.
So, man, I just fell all inwith football because it was, it

(28:36):
was my first love.
That was like when I was six Istarted playing and it just I
was like I love this game.
I completely love this game.

Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah, I was like I love this game.
I completely love this game.
Yeah, no, I share the similar,not similar.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
But I share the love of football because it taught me
so many life lessons.
Hi, I'm Betsy Robinson, CEO ofTier 4 Group, a women-owned and
diversity-certified technologyrecruiting and executive search
firm that connects exceptionaltalent with extraordinary
companies in 43 states acrossthe US.
At Tier 4 Group, relationshipsare at the heart of everything
we do, Whether it's with ourclients, our candidates, our

(29:19):
vendor partners or with eachother.
Our mission is to go beyondtransactions and create
long-lasting partnerships.
We don't just help companiesfind talent.
We help them find the righttalent, and that starts with
truly understanding our clientsand candidates.
It's not just about fillingroles.
It's about fostering successfor the long term.

(29:40):
This is the recipe for successthat's landed us on the Inc 5000
six consecutive years and hasus outpacing our competition
across the country, and I'mthrilled to support Casey Jay
Cox's podcast.
Casey's philosophy alignsperfectly with ours,
prioritizing relationships overtransactions.

(30:01):
His insights on building trust,empathy and connection resonate
deeply with the way we dobusiness at Tier 4 Group.
We were honored to have Caseyas our keynote at our 2024
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So if you're looking for apartner who values relationships

(30:24):
as much as results.
Visit us at tier4groupcom orconnect with me, Betsy Robinson,
directly on LinkedIn and, whileyou're at it, keep tuning into
Casey's podcast.
You'll walk away inspired tostrengthen your own
relationships, both personallyand professionally.
And, as Casey always says, staycurious.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
I was an average student, three to three, three.
Didn't really apply myselfbecause it wasn't fun, but the
game of football taught mevisualization, goal setting,
mindset, leadership, humility.
I mean I can go on for daysabout know, until you've been in

(31:04):
the locker room with dudes andthe look and you've played
quarterback.
So it's like you when peoplelook at you and you that they're
like intently looking at you.
In your eye it's like thatfeeling is addicting to um.
And when football got takenaway from me when I was done in
college, it was like I remembercried for like three hours like

(31:25):
I just was like and I didn't, Icouldn't, didn't know I was
gonna do it.
I remember I was at a bar withmy girlfriend wife now my one of
my offensive linemen, I'mrunning back and no, my other
quarterback.
And I remember just like I'mfreaking done, like got teased
in arena league a little bit,but like done.
And when that got done it waslike, oh you know, but for you

(31:45):
how?
How hard was it for you when itgot taken away?

Speaker 1 (31:49):
it's.
It's just like that.
Like just exactly like what youfelt and like it's, that's why
it's the greatest game.
Like you can't just go pick upand play down the street.
There's no beer league.
I wish there was, maybe we'llstart one, but you know, you
can't just go pick up and getget 22 guys, because that's what

(32:10):
you need to play against theoffense or defense, right and
like so that's why it's there.
There is a definite finality toit.
And like, just um, youunderstand that and I really did
, because my dad played in thenfl and I, so I knew, you know,
like they would always joke, notfor long, right, and it's the
truth, it's the truth.
So, you know, just making themost of that opportunity is all

(32:35):
you could do and hopefully youhave some luck on your side,
like with injuries andeverything.
That's the beauty of the gamewe love.
You know, and I always tell itwhen I get around some NBA guys
and we're talking, or some majorleague baseball, I was like,
yeah, we don't have seven gamesto figure it out.
We have, you know, fourquarters and possible overtime.

(32:58):
Like yeah for the championship.
We can't come backstrategically and say, hey,
let's do it this way.
This time I was like this iswhy our game is better than
yours.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
Yeah, yeah, I was like this is why our game is
better than yours, yeah, yeah.
Well, I want to go back alittle bit to something you said
earlier.
So you said, like you knowgrowing up with you know getting
to like, learn to be tough,like when people didn't look
like you and in 2020, in theheart of COVID, the heart of
like Black Lives Matter movement, like, I personally grew more

(33:27):
in my diversity than I've evergrown my entire life, for a
couple of reasons.
One, I was a typical naivewhite person that didn't realize
what I didn't know.
I was a typical naive whiteperson that didn't know what the
word privilege meant In my mind.
When sometimes I would hearprivilege, I'd be like dude,
what are you talking about?
I didn't.
I worked my ass off, I was andI just didn't get it, and I

(33:49):
always love giving love to oneof my, my dear friends.
To this day, I met thisentrepreneurial journey guy
named Dale favors, and I hopeDale will listen to this one
because I love the guy dearly.
He's he taught me so much aboutso many things and, through
that journey of just like,continue learning.
Um, I don't know if you ever theauthor who just passed away.
One of my favorite authors gothim, john Feinstein.
So he wrote a book called raisea fist, take a knee, and he

(34:14):
wrote a book that the book wasessentially saying what a joke
the Rooney rule is, which isessentially saying that you know
, hey, we have to interviewcertain people of color.
Sorry, nfl, if I'm throwing youon blast, I don't mean to, but
like, this is his words, notmine but it intrigued me and so
I I reached out to him.
We had this, really so twowhite dudes having this
conversation and he he got whenhe wrote the book he interviewed
.
It was like 99% of people ofcolor from the book and they had

(34:37):
, and he had built so manyrelationships through, just like
the respect factor, which waslike it blew me away.
But anyway, I just I'm oversharethis because, after going
through what I went through in2020, I then reached out to
probably six or seven teammatesI played with American Samoa,
mike T shout out to you, brotherand every position player I

(35:00):
could think of of color.
I went back and I said, man, I'msorry, I wasn't more curious as
an 18-year-old 19-year-old andI'd love to like just learn,
learn more about you, and I hadsome of the most powerful
conversations that I wish Iwould have had then.
Now I don't know what I don'tknow, and so maybe going through
what I went through, but it'sfun to like share these now with

(35:20):
my kids as a dad, to be able tosay like listen, like we don't
go to many restaurants, we'rethe only white people we have no
idea what that feels like, youknow.
So, like I, always my goal,like as a dad, with as a place,
like diversity and some of thechallenges that we're still
going to be there for years, isI'm never going to solve racism,
but if I can put a dent in it,you know, then it's like I feel

(35:42):
like I'm doing my part, but Idon't know.
I don't know why I'm sharingthat with you, but hey, felt
compelled to share it and I likeit.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Man, that's what life's all about, and yeah, it's
.
You know.
I think you go back to likewhat you were saying with the
locker room.
There's no place like it.
There's no place like a lockerroom after a win.
And like even you look atsporting events, no one's
sitting there like, oh, who'dyou vote for?
Who'd you vote?
Everybody there's, every race,every gender, everything right
there rooting for one or theother team, right, yeah, and so

(36:12):
sports unites.
Like that's really you knowwhat I love about it.
And in the locker room you findout we come from so many
different walks of life andhopefully we only share our best
right Of our culture, of ourupbringing, of everything.
But you get to learn like, ohshit, we're like the same dude,

(36:35):
like this is like you've.
I know you've had those moments, right oh yeah we're like you,
like the light bulb goes off.
We're like, oh my god, we'relike the same dude, we just grew
up a different coast andeverything.
But like, yeah, like you know,I love that video and then I
watched that growing up, Likebecause I mean it's, but yeah,
so that's what I really loveabout sports.

(36:55):
Every sport, but especiallylike team sports, is like that
camaraderie, that brotherhood,and you know so I've thought of
everybody that laced them uphigh school top one or any time
all the way up.
But if you ever laced thosecleats up and played tackle,
football or you know footballyou're a brother to me, like you

(37:17):
.
You, even if you went throughone season, you understand what
we've went through, even at thelittle level.
Like right.
So because, like, of course, alot of people say, oh well, I
didn't play.
You know, like you, I was like,yes, you did, yes, you did, and
like that's how you have tolook at it, because you know
what I had to go through interms of practice.

(37:37):
You know dedication, teamwork,you know everything.
So, yeah, that's why I love ourgame.
I love all sports, but I reallylove our game.
I love our game.
I love all sports, but I reallylove our game.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Yeah, that's awesome.
As you think about, um, yourcore values, things that you
learned from your, from your momand dad, um, core values that
you and your wife now are areare like teaching your kids,
like tell me what are.
What's a couple of values thatreally really come to top of
your mind that are real superimportant to you as a dad.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
Just respect really stands out Right and like that.
That one.
He didn't have to say.
He wasn't a big talker, but hedidn't have to say much.
He did it like and he let hisactions speak for himself and so
and he took me and love andcaring and all that too.
But respect is the one thatstood out the most in terms of

(38:30):
when I just think of my dadtaking me to charity events and
which I always feel connected tohim.
When I do those, like when Isell you a tree house, I think
you could feel the energy inthat whole room was electric, um
, but it's uh.
Yeah, respect was the one thatalways stood out with him.
I always wanted his respect,like that, like I knew he loved

(38:53):
me, but it meant more to me whenhe goes and I remember just
like three or four handful oftimes he goes I love you really
did something.
I'm proud of you.
So hearing him say he was proudof me was more important to me
as a man a young man thanhearing I love you from him, if
that makes sense and um.

(39:14):
And then when I think about mymom, just like love and caring,
like she, you know, just likepassionate, just like me, in
terms of everything I go toattempt I'm, if you're gonna do
it, do it.
I'm going, I'm going all theway in, like I'm not no half
stepping or whether it'sfootball anything.
If you're going to take thetime to do it, do it right.

(39:35):
And I mean, I think a little ofit that that is her military
background and everything.
But she cares very much, moreso than a lot of people I've
come across in life.
You know in this journey, andnot just for me, but her care
and love for others, right Forall.
I'm talking the spider walkingacross the floor, like she's,

(39:59):
just very like.
Her heart shines in thatcapacity and so those are like
the two core values that theyreally showed me, not just
talked about.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
Now do your boys know these stories too?

Speaker 1 (40:16):
What stories, which ones?

Speaker 2 (40:17):
Just the stories of like just what you've shared
around, like your growth and thevalues your mom and dad tied to
.
Have you shared those storieswith your boys?

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Not yet, but this might be why I'm here today to
learn the power of it and share,because, you know, I just want
them to find their own journeyand you know I'm careful to be
like helicopter pair, like don'tdo this, this is what I did.
You know, it's like I don't know.

(40:46):
I feel like part of not beingable to have those conversations
for whatever reason.
People weren't doing it, likethe older generations, right, um
, whether it was a stigma asweakness which we know it's not
but also, um, it's just I wantthem, not not that I don't want
them to grow up, but like Idon't want to change the way

(41:07):
they're thinking because theyhave an imagination still and a
lot of.
I don't want them to grow up,but I don't want to change the
way they're thinking becausethey have an imagination still
and a lot of us don't.
And if you tinker with thatthis is what I worry about Then
maybe it goes on a differentpath.
I just want them to find whatthey love and as soon as you
find what you love, we'll helpyou, me and mom will help you.
Really, just go for it.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
I think that's super important and since my one
friend not I have more than onefriend, but my one friend who's
a diehard Trojan, I got to givehim love.
Stevie Nadell, he, he did areally good him and his wife,
hiller, did a really good job.
When their son was younger, hetheir son Riley literally
thought he's going to play MLBand, uh, nhl and then probably

(41:52):
he'll be a pro golfer.
And they never once said no,you're not.
They just said why wouldn't youdo that?
And, yeah, they just love, andI love the fact it's like our
job as parents is to like dreambig.
Life's going to tell you to gooff sooner or later.
Yep, um, like my son, he'splaying at like like a division

(42:17):
nai small golf school and he'slike I would say he's an above
average golfer.
But some of these kids, atleast these are really good.
Well, just recently he's kindof taking the next step and all
of a sudden, out of nowhere, hetells me hey, dad, when I get
done college I think I want totry to keep working hard to play
on the mini tour like go, like,go, do it.
I'm not what.
Who's now?
Is it realistic?
I don't know.
But I'm not.

(42:38):
I'm not here to say don't do it.

Speaker 1 (42:40):
It is if he can visualize it and see it, if he's
clearly sees it like.
when I was seven I saw myselfgetting drafted and I saw myself
, you know, and I don't know howor why, I just I said, hey,
this is what I'm going to do.
And you know, everybody's likeyou're crazy.
And I was like, yeah, maybe,but I'm going for it.
I'm going for it and likethat's what I always tell people

(43:02):
.
I go, hey, when Lofa the Tupudies yes, I'm talking third
person, sorry, bear with meeverybody, but I mean the
physical existence of Lof thetwo-poop.
He did not die wondering, hewent for it all.
He took that shot right because, because the pain of regret and
the torture, that is my mindanyways, I'm not saying

(43:24):
everybody else's.
I would just tell myselfmentally over and over, like,
but you didn't go for it, youdidn't put yourself out there,
you know, for fear, fear offailure, when my whole career
has been failure, like, if youreally think about it, I didn't
get.
I got one offer to playlinebacker.

(43:46):
So out of high school, like andthis is where everybody that
when they go with the pro, allpro and pro bowls and all
American, yeah, that's cool.
One offer, not even to DivisionI is what I had and I took it.
I made the most of myopportunity.
Then I transferred and I wasburied on the depth chart.
Naturally, this is now the bigleagues right.
So I put in the time and Iwatched the film and I

(44:08):
understood the game at adifferent lens and a different
level.
I just put in the work and,like any good student does, to
get great grades, a good athleteshould be studying everything
about the game, the rules, the,you know everything, the
situational awareness of time,on the clock, position on the

(44:29):
field, tendencies, percentages,probabilities, outcomes, like I
was diving that deep, like, uh,back before analytics were ever
out, I was just coming to anunderstanding of okay, they're
90% run out of this formation,nine out of 10 times.
I'm going to be right, let'sjust go.
And so when it became a mathgame uh, cause I love math I was

(44:52):
like, oh, this is easy, like,this is so easy, like that you
know how it felt.
But over those it was justfailure, rise, failure, rise,
failure, ride.
Like how are we going toovercome this hurdle?
Okay, that's how we do it,let's go like.
And so that was you know kindof the process I went through
with everything in terms of thefootball journey and, and you

(45:14):
know, I transferred over to lifeand just become a better
student of life and like dad,friend, neighbor, everything
like you know.
How can you continue to evolveto the highest version of
yourself?

Speaker 2 (45:28):
Yeah, I, I hope, man, that now you're like you get
goosebumps or that story Causethere's a lot.
But when you said, even whenyou said earlier, like, hey,
maybe I, maybe today's the day Istart, I share some stories
with my kids, like, I'm ofbelief that stories sell.
So, like in the corporate world, I say stories sell, slides
don't.
But I think when a story iseven more powerful is when we
ask a question before it To makesure that someone's ready to

(45:51):
listen to the story, cause ifthey don't, if we just tell a
story, they might just behearing us, not listening to us.
Um and like, when my even mykids got older, I shared the
story of like where I I broke,so I broke my foot in high
school, didn't play.
My senior year got taken awayfrom me.
The dude.
I beat out my junior year.
He would go on to take.
He would go on to um be ourquarterback.

(46:12):
My senior in high school hebroke single season, passing
your record, took us to stateplayoffs first time in 20 years
and he got named second team.
All all the guy had to watch.
One of the best things thatever happened to me.
So now when I share that storywith my kids as they got older,
cause when I was they wereyounger.
They're like well, shut up, dad, can we go get a slurpee?
You know they didn't care aboutanything, you know.
But like sometimes now they'llstill bring up like dad, how

(46:33):
hard was that?
I go, how was what?
And they'll ask me questionsand so but I think, like when I
think when they can see thestories and realize they're not
alone, like even like yourlittle, your little dude, like
if he's, if you see him and youlike I bet he you unlock him
even more with like the storiesthat you've been through.

Speaker 1 (46:50):
Yeah, now you got me thinking yeah, love it yeah, I
will man, because I I like Isaid watching my oldest light up
when he was like singing, likeI, like I told him I've never
seen you smile like that man.
I've seen you make game-winningbaskets.
I've seen you make game-winningcatches, you.
It was just kind of like ho-humand like I knew that maybe

(47:13):
maybe he expected it, but I knewdeep down in my heart and my
soul he didn't, he didn't loveit and that's fine.
I was like dude, that's fine,like you're just here to find
what you love and poureverything into it.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
That's, that's what we're doing I think it's so
powerful man and I love thatyou're sharing that and you've
said that a couple times, Ithink hopefully, dad's, mom's
listened home.
Whether you're a pro atMicrosoft, a pro at Boeing, a
pro at real estate, a pro, Idon't care where you're a pro.
But, like, I think it's soimportant that we let our kids
live their journey and I thinkit's our job to push them and

(47:48):
get them comfortable, beinguncomfortable and realize that
you got to work your ass off forthings in life.
But like I play football, myson played flag football till 12
.
He saw me have some backinjuries from football and he's
like I don't want that.
I'm like, good, don't go to you.
Like my daughter, she's a Hooper, I sucked at basketball way
better.
I'm like go, do you like, andit's sometimes it's, you know,

(48:10):
it's always easy to let themlive their journey because you
got more life experience.
But I think, like we loaf andI've talked about today is, you
know, our adversity or ourfailure, our struggles, what's
shaped the people we are, andit's the continued failure that
we're going to see, that's goingto continue to shape us.
So, um, right.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Well, yeah, we're human brother, that's right, a
hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
And we're all.
We're all.
And it's funny like if thiswhole last thing I'll say then I
got off my soapbox.
Like sometimes people say, oh,you're a life coach.
I'm like, no, I ain't got lifefigured out.
I'm almost 50 years old whenI'm 95 and you and I'm still
doing this and call me a lifecoach, cause I got more wisdom.
But like people like to eachhis own, like I actually posted

(48:52):
this on linkedin recently andgot a lot of chatter because I
was like you know, I've neverthought about that way because I
don't know, unless, unlessyou're getting coached by god, I
don't know who's gonna becoaching me yeah, well, whatever
god you believe in yeah yeah,right, so it's the truth.

Speaker 1 (49:07):
And so, yeah, just here to do the best we can help
as many, you know, lives andpeople that we can in the short
time we are here, cause it doesgo by quick.
I don't care if you lived in 95or a hundred.
You know what did you do atthat time, who did you help?
Like that's how you say.
You know you live forever inthe terms of what we were meant

(49:27):
to do here and um, you know.
So, right on that, so cool, allright.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
So last question before we get into some fun
things.
One question I always likeasking dads is an area of your
dad game that maybe has been astruggle for you.
That may speak to another dadat home.
You know, I'll lead my witnesshere.
Mine was patience and as acompetitive person, I have to
really check it and realize thatit's like, or like expectations
, like having false expectationsof an environment that's like

(49:55):
never going to come to fruitionof what I see sometimes, but
like but.
I think talking to nearly 300dads, man, it's just helped me
because I feel like I get freetherapy out of every episode.
I do what, what, what might bean area of your dad game that
maybe has been a challenge foryou, that might speak to other
dads at home.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
I know I don't have all the answers, like nothing's
coming to mind right now.
Like I said, the only thing Iknow about this dad game is that
I know nothing.
So if that's comforting toanybody out there, you know I
hope it is.
But you know, just find ways toconnect on a deeper level

(50:33):
because life has changed.
Like you know.
A lot of parents, I believe,have kind of like well, this is
how it's always been and it'slike well, why has it always
been like that?
Like I know you know this,you're speaking from your
perspective and your lens, like,but like, if you look around,
this is a very different worldthan what we grew up in at their
age.

(50:54):
And so, you know, not reallystaying up on the times and,
like you said, snapchat, like,like you know, finding deeper
ways to connect, much like yousaid, you have these talks with
your son, like, and you know Ididn't know if it was like a
timing thing, but of the lastyear or two, me and my oldest

(51:16):
have been there, but I know it'sgoing to be more impactful and
meaningful for my youngestbecause very similar, right, no
one's the same, but very similar.
I see everything, down to thestare, the look, the mannerisms,
the attitude, the sarcasticnessthat I love.

(51:38):
Sometimes, right, there's atime and a place, but, you know,
really wondering and I'm tryingto just let things happen as
natural as possible in the right, in the given time that it's
supposed to, and, but I lookforward and cherish the time
when I get to really connectwith him on that, that
meaningful level about just.

(51:58):
You know he asked me questionsabout how did you deal with this
?
What do you know?
Because, yeah, if you impressupon it too early, they might
not be ready for it, and likeone they might.
One they might not be listening, but two, like you know, you
don't.
Like I said, I'm always to likesift their mindset from present
moment and what it is right,what just their lens as it is,

(52:19):
cause that's the beauty of lifeis we all have our different
perspective, right.
Sometimes it's not the bestthing that we all have a
different perspective as we talkabout, but, as always, you're
you know, you know giving loveand joy to the world.
Yes, open-minded, there you go.
And just giving love and joy tothe world and not hurting
anybody.
You're doing great.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
Yeah, I almost forgot .
I wanted to ask you a questionabout visualization, so I think
I saw you do.
You do stuff with the Kraken.
Are you involved with theKraken at all?

Speaker 1 (52:49):
No, todd Lightwick, he was with the Hawks and Bill
Chapin they were with the Hawksback when I spent time there as
a player.
But that was the hero of thedeep and they generously, they
donate every time they do a heroof the deep.

(53:09):
I believe it's $32,000.
And so they did that forSpecial Olympics.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
Washington.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
And that was pretty, not pretty.
It was very meaningful to me.
I just meant it's prettyspecial in the regard that first
event my dad ever took me towhen I was like four or five.
He was a chairman for the RhodeIsland chapter of Special
Olympics and I remember it andit was, and every time we went
to the Pro Bowl when I was, youknow, grateful to get nominated,

(53:37):
we got to sign up for a coupleevents.
We always sign up for theSpecial Olympics, and so it was
just some memories in time thatare irreplaceable, like and so
you know, I'm bringing my kidsto stuff now so they can get an
appreciation about what we'resupposed to be doing here.
Service is our purpose and uh,but yeah, that was a, it was a

(53:59):
really.
So my whole family was thereand it was.
It was just a special night.

Speaker 2 (54:02):
Man, it's cool that's awesome, that's so cool.
Well, I'm gonna make sure wetag special olympics in two.
Um, the uh.
The reason why I bring thekraken up is you talked about
when you were seven years oldand you knew exactly you were
spent.
You're supposed to playfootball Like.
So John Forslund, the play byplay guy for the cracking um.
I was lucky enough to interviewhim too in this journey and he

(54:23):
knew it.
I think age seven he was Bostonguy, but he knew at age seven
he was going to be an NHLannouncer and and back then his
people were like his high schoolguidance counselor was like
what?
This job doesn't even exist.
And he used to tell his dadwhen his dad they had one of the

(54:44):
only houses with cable, so theyhad the freaking thing on the
roof with the wires and stuff hewould interview.
I mean he would have his dad'sbuddies come over and John
Forsen would go to his dad andsay, hey, dad, be okay if I uh
do the play-by-play for your,for your buddies, just put the
game on mute.
And his dad said, yeah, sure,and just the patience.
Like I made me feel guilty as adad because I'm like I don't
think I would have patience todo that.
I'm like beat it dude.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
I mean, man, like this is when you wish a camera
phone was around right to likerecord these special moments of
like yeah I told you, I told youthis was going to happen.
Yeah, not, not john saying that, but like the dad, right, right
, like I saw it in my son and Iyou know I had a part in helping
him, you know obviously.
But but like that would beincredible, like footage to like

(55:30):
watch in for john, for thefamily, everybody, and like you
know that that would be awesomepretty cool.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
So all right, if you had to summarize.
Well, for everything we'vetalked about, the dads or moms
or anybody listening, can maybetake two or three actionable
themes that they can apply intheir own life to become a
better ultimate or quarterback Icall it leader of their life or
their family.
Tell me what comes to mind.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
Just stay present moment and when you do and sit
with it, you'll understand moreabout your kids, cause that
that's really the mission thatwe're we're talking about at
hand and you know all of thethings that you know we said the
patients and everything.
But when you're fully presentin the moment, you see things

(56:16):
differently, like you don't justsee them from your lens and
perspective that has always been.
You see it from, like, kind oftheir side like and so you know
present moment is is really thebiggest thing.
that that I would would tell,because everything else will
come once you do that, Like,you'll understand.
You know how to exercisepatience, you'll understand how

(56:40):
to help.
And then the other thing that Ireally encourage parents because
my parents this is one of thegreat things they did for me
that led to my success is whenyou see your kid light up doing
something that's their path, andjust you try and use every
resource in terms of connectionof someone in that industry to

(57:03):
just give them more informationthat they wish they had when
they were younger.
I always try to pass on thefootball knowledge Any kid that
asks me.
I'm happy to have aconversation with them about how
I got better with any any partof the game.
So but yeah, when you see yourkid light up, that's it.
Like you know, you'll knowbecause you're going to because

(57:24):
you're going to light up andthat's when we go, let's go.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
Love that.
It's true, man.
When they, when they see it,it's's, uh, it's like the big
parents dream, when they findwhat they want to do in this
their phase of their life wherethey're at, like light it just
for keep throwing gas, not fireand get out of the way, yeah,
yeah.
So, um, if people want tofollow the work you're doing, uh

(57:50):
, they want to get involved withany of the the great charitable
work you do, um, tell me,what's the the best way people
can stay in touch with the workyou're doing right now?

Speaker 1 (57:59):
you know I I gotta get better at that, like
actually sharing.
You know that's something in methat you know I fight with.
I was like I don't want creditfor doing what we're supposed to
be doing everybody you knowwhat I'm saying there, but
there's just um, a bunch ofdifferent organizations.

(58:19):
Uh, you know, ben's fine withautism, you know John and Tracy
Snyder, Um, like.
So you know, like, you reachout and, and you know, donate,
of course, but they have events,um, you know, tree house for
kids, you know for fosters andfamilies in need, because you
know anything with kids really,because you never know, you

(58:40):
never know the ripple effectwhen, like, one of those kids
could turn out just to be themegastar that everyone listens
to, right, and that's when,that's when you know multiple
like good, just echoeseverywhere, right.
So, but so, anything with kids,but Treehouse for Kids there's
a lot of them.
Man, I'll post about them andstuff and share when I'm doing

(59:02):
events.
But, yeah, anything you do justto give back, whether it's your
time, and even when I saydonate like five bucks, that
goes a long way for a lot ofthese organizations.
It doesn't have to be hundredsof dollars, thousands of dollars
every time.
Well, thank you if you do, butjust, you know it's.
But so yeah, that's.

(59:23):
I think events just come up andI just go like you know it's.
So I have to get better atorganization.
That is something I definitelyneed, but that's why the real
quarterback you know, mom, um,I'm grateful that I met you at
treehouse.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
I'm grateful for mk.
I'm grateful for amber bush forfor inviting me to that.
I mean that I learned so muchabout I'm and I actually felt
bad.
I'd never even heard oftreehouse before and I spent 20,
yeah, and I'm like blown awayby the impact that they had and
I was blown away.
I was was moved.
I told Amber, I was like I wantto get involved, like how can I
help?
And, um, you, whether it'smentoring, whether it's, you
know, giving when I can or time,it's just like, uh, I was blown

(01:00:04):
away and moved by that eventand I am so grateful that we,
you know that their tree housedoes.
They do, and I hope that theycan continue to get the funding
that they deserve because somany kids have been positively
impacted and they'll continuepositive impacts.
But something it's importantthat we support them where we
can.
I love it.
I love hearing that.

(01:00:24):
Okay.
So now it's time to go intowhat I call the lightning round,
where I show you the negativehits of taking too many hits in
college not bong hits, butfootball hits.
Your job is to answer thesequestions as quickly as you can.
My job is to try to get agiggle out of you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:38):
Okay.
Well, the giggle is going to beeasy, but I'll try to answer
these as quick as I can.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
Okay, true or false, you once kicked a 72-yard field
goal at King Phillip.
False, false, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
True or false?
Matt Hasselbeck is faster thanyou in 40 yard dash that might
be true.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Sadly, I left first.
All right, yeah, okay.
Um, if I was to come to yourhouse for dinner tonight, tell
me what we'd have.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
But let's see yeah, I know, this is a lightning round
.
Awesome job, lowe.

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
It's all right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
Yeah, we'll find something good, but I'll pour
you a sparkling water.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
Well, there we go.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
That got me away from soda, thank God.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
Okay, favorite comedy movie that you've watched
hundreds of times.

Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
I am such a movie like film, like diehard fan and
it's all comedy.
I only want to laugh.

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
If I had to pick one, I might have to go Kingpin.

Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
I love Kingpin, it's hilarious.
So true story.
I'm going to pause lightninground.
Do you remember the part whenhe's like Tennessee, kentucky
Deeper, jonathan deeper?
I did that in a practice atCentral Washington and Cadence
round.
Do you remember the part whenhe's like tennessee, kentucky
deeper, jonathan deeper?
I did that in a practice atcentral washington and cadence.
I said, boys, I'm doing thekingpin just.
And my coach is like that's notour cadence, what are you doing
?

Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
I was like, oh, I'm sorry about coach, I just messed
around we laughed freaking sohard absolutely, and one of our
sack dances at kp was theweekend of bernie's bernie lomax
, where he put his head down andthen fast forward like 20 years
and they're doing it in the NFLRight.
There was like a state whereyou know that that generation
still remembered weekend ofBernie's.

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
Oh God, so good.
Okay, Back to landing around.
If you were to take a vacation,you and your wife no kids tell
me where we're going.

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
I'm not a big travel guy, but I would like to check
out New Zealand.

Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
That's on my list too .
I will.
Okay, what would be the onesong in your phone that you
listen to?
That might surprise many ofyour friends.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
Nico is the name, it's Jericho or the awakening.
Those two songs, uh, they justthey spoke to me, like really
spoke to me, so check those out,I'll.
I'll send you the picture ofthe songs to YouTube to them.
Okay, those ones like they'd besurprised by that probably.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Okay, love it.
Um, if there was to be a bookwritten about your life, tell me
the title sale and keep goingokay, now lofa fail and keep
going.
Believe it or not, is they ranout of amazon, ran out of ink?
They've been printing them toofast, uh, so now netflix has
heard about it and they're gonnamake a movie about it, and you

(01:03:34):
are now the casting director.
I need to know who's going tostar Low Foot the Toop in this
critically acclaimed, hit newmovie.

Speaker 1 (01:03:39):
Mario Lopez because he still looks younger than me,
Even though he's older.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
There we go, okay, and then last question Tell me
two words that would describeyour wife.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
I think this might be the first time I'm speechless.
Just two words, all andeverything.
There we go.
She's my all, she is everything.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
Lightning round's complete.
I, a typical dad, laughed at myown jokes, which is what I do.
This has been an absolute honorspeaking to you.
I know, when I met you atTreehouse, I told you that was
actually.
I've used that moment as a, asa teaching moment to some of the
sales teams I work with andleaders I work with, where,

(01:04:20):
cause, you and I think, sean,were in front of me and I didn't
.
I didn't know it was you, I was, and when you walk left, I
walked to the right and I'm likeholy shit, I'm low foot to two
poo.
And I remember MK.
We were texting about it.
I was like I got to, either I'mgoing to choose to follow him
or I'm going to choose the right.
I'm like F it no.
And then you were like probably10 yards in front of me and I

(01:04:40):
probably like who the frick?
What's this dude on my tail for?
And I'm like I just said screwit, I'm just going to do it
because I believe what I domatters.
And then when I just Imentioned MK, it was like
immediate, we had a connectionand uh, so I'm just I'm grateful
for that, I'm grateful for, um,you spending time with me and I
know your story is going toimpact a lot of people because

(01:05:02):
you dropped a lot of wisdomspecifically around, I think,
just helping kids find theirpassion, staying present, and
these are things that we'renever going to be perfect at,
but if we can hear them over andover and over, that's how you
teach yourself these skills,these habits.
So I'm grateful for you, man,and um hope our paths continue
to cross, but I'm just, I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
I can't thank you enough for spending time with me
today, honor is all mine and um, thank you everybody that
listened and uh appreciate you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
And that's awesome.
I love that.
You said you know what F itafter.
I'm going for it.
That's that made me smile.
Right, that was awesome.
Yeah, it was meant to be allright, baby.
That's right, all right, have agood weekend.