Redefining Leadership: Eric Pryor on Family, Resilience, and the Art of Gratitude

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What happens when you mix a creative executive, a former basketball player, and a dad who's redefining leadership at home? Thanks to a fantastic referral from my friend and former guest (Dale Favors), we get the chance to learn from Eric Pryor.  In today's episode, Eric shares how his experiences in arts and education have shaped his role as the "quarterback" of his family. From the therapeutic art of gratitude journaling to the lessons learned from influential mentors, Eric offers a treasure trove of insights into staying grounded and mindful while embracing personal growth.

Join us as Eric opens up about the significant role family values and work ethic play in shaping our lives. You'll hear about the impact of empowering family members and how a simple idea from his wife led to a pivotal financial decision. Eric also takes us on a journey through his childhood, recounting life as the youngest of six in a bustling household, and how his father's entrepreneurial spirit in Detroit instilled a strong work ethic and discipline in him.

With a candid discussion on finding resilience and grace amidst adversity, Eric shares deeply personal stories of loss and the immense power of gratitude and spirituality. Hear how he navigates the complexities of self-awareness and self-improvement, all the while maintaining hope and a positive outlook. 

Ending on a lighter note, we chat about favorite books and dream vacations, welcoming listeners to embrace unscripted curiosity and the joy of shared experiences. Don't miss this heartfelt conversation that inspires with stories of resilience, growth, and the art of being present both in family life and beyond.

Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
Hey, everybody, it's CaseyJaycox with the quarterback dad
cast.
Welcome to season six, and Icould not be more excited to
have you join me for anotheryear of fantastic episodes and
conversations really unscriptedand raw and authentic

(00:25):
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax andlisten to today's episode on the
Quarterback Dadcast.

(00:45):
Well, hey, everybody, it isCasey Jaycox with the
Quarterback Dadcast.
We are in season six and whichfeels as you heard me say before
I'm going to say it again itfeels so fantastic to say
because I feel like we're doingsomething right If we're
interviewed close to 300 dadsand I'm so excited to see what's
going to happen this year as itrelates to sponsorships and new
dads and people we can impactand ways to improve better

(01:06):
leaders of each of the homes.
And today's guest comes to usby the one and only Dale Favors,
which you've heard me talkabout for years and you've heard
him be bragged about onpodcasts before, and you've
heard a story back in 2020, whenI was able to interview him
right in the heart of the BlackLives Matter movement social
unrest and we had this powerfulconversation on diversity, and

(01:27):
if there's any gentleman in thisworld who has impacted me more
from a growth perspective, withjust perspective and diversity,
it is Dale Favors, and so I givemuch love to Dale, one of my
favorite humans on this earth.
But our next guest is Eric Pryor, and he's a temple ally.
I found out right before werecord.
He's an ex-hooper from WestGeorgia, so we've got to hear
about some stories.

(01:47):
He might be a Wayne StateWarrior too, but he is a BFA, an
MFA in painting.
He's a creative individual.
He's an executive.
He's worked from the HarlemSchool of Fine Arts to the
Pennsylvania Academy of FineArts.
But that's not why we're havingEric on everybody.
We're having Eric on tounderstand about how Eric's
working hard to become theultimate quarterback or leader

(02:08):
of his home.
So, without further ado, mrPryor, welcome to the
Quarterback Dadcast.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh, thank you, Casey.
Thanks for having me, andyou're right about Dale he's one
of my favorite people in theworld.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
He's the best I'm hoping to.
Are you a golfer by chance?
Yep, I am.
Do you go to the soul cup?

Speaker 1 (02:31):
I've gone before.
I haven't gone in recentrecently, but I have attended
before and had a great time.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
I'm trying to get on that list.
Right, dale said we'll get,we'll get you out there one year
.
I'm like I know it's, it's,it's, there's, there's a lot of
brothers at that tournament.
Now that, and it's, it's,there's, there's a lot of
brothers at that tournament nowand I want to be the lone white
dude and then I'm, then I'mgoing to understand a lot about
you, know a lot of stuff, and so, yeah, he goes.
We'd love to have you go, I'dlove to be there.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
So I hope one day.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Yeah, that'd be fun.
We could have it All right.
Well, we always start eachepisode.
Gratitude, Eric.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
So tell me before, as a dad today, you know, every
day for me, casey, I keep itreally simple waking up,
breathing, I mean, you know, Ireally feel like you know, just
every day I can open my eyes andand look out my window and you
know, just feel the earth undermy feet, feel the earth under my
feet, you know, and then I moveout from there and it becomes

(03:29):
my family and it's just myexperiences.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
For those that heard him say that they might be like
ah, it's an easy answer, butactually it's a great answer
because it means you're really,really present in thought.
It's funny you say that becauseevery morning I do a gratitude
journal here.
People can see this on YouTubeeverybody.
If you can really reallypresent and thought, uh, it's
funny you say that because everymorning I do a gratitude
journal here.
People can see this on YouTubeEverybody.
If you can't, eric, you canmeet Caesar's just and every
every page.
The first line I say is God,thanks for waking me up today.

(03:55):
Yep, and it gets my mind rightfor the day.
I, and, as I say thanks forwaking me up, hey, thanks for
the chance I get exercise.
Today I got a chance to be abetter dad than I was yesterday.
So I'm going to say the samething I'm grateful for waking up
too, because I'm grateful I geta chance to learn more about
you and celebrate you as a dadand then share whatever story I

(04:17):
learned from today.
I can share with my kids, sharewith my wife, and that's really
what I get.
Enjoying that of this podcast.
One, I get free therapy fromdads, but two, I learn about
people and it's inspiring.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Well, you know, one of the things I would say is
that one of the reasons I takethat approach is that, you know,
our minds are hugely powerfuland we can go all over the place
with it.
And for me, you know, I reallytry to stay in the moment as
much as possible, and so youknow whether it's just my

(04:53):
breathing and or whether it'sjust.
You know, it's one of thethings I love about golf it
forces you to be in the moment.
So when I look at you know, Ifeel like I've always felt like,
you know, say to myself, andyou know, I see myself as a
spiritual person and I believein God, and I felt like God,

(05:13):
there's a God to me.
If I were a God, I would showfavor to the grateful.
And I think it has to start at areal core level.
And I think it has to start ata real core level and that is
just because I mean, at the endof the day, if I can't see, if
my brain isn't functioning, if Idon't have my health, if I'm
not there in that moment, therest of it, I can't be anything

(05:37):
for my daughters, I can't beanything for my wife, I can't be
anything for anybody.
So for me, the fact that thatlife is there and I'm up in the
morning and I feel my feet onthe ground, it means now I can
have all those other experiences, you know.
And so for me that's why Ireally, you know, go to that is,

(05:59):
keep that as my core, and italso helps me when I deal with
challenges and realizing whatwhat life is about.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah, no, I love that man.
So, and I don't know if you dothis, but like when you feel
that gratitude, like when I'mwriting in my journal in the
morning, when I I almost I it'ssubconsciously I find myself
smiling without knowing it andit catches me Right.
It's weird to go through, but itfeels cool and I'm addicted to
that and I'm I'm a, I'm acreature of habit when
discipline I think I may getthat from the sports background

(06:31):
there's an uncle Rico momentright there everybody.
But like, uh, I don't want tomiss it.
I'm such a habit.
I mean, I've done gratitude nowfor four years every day and if
I, if I may, I have to do thatbefore I do anything else.
Right, right, right.

(06:52):
So we'll bring me inside the,uh, the prior huddle, uh, let me
know about, um, your daughters,and then maybe tell me how you
and your wife met.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Well, let me just say this One of the things and I'm
going to give you a story,there's a story I share with
people, uh, and it sort of sumsup my house, it my house, uh,
you know, and that is you know,I'm the youngest of six kids, um
, and so when you're theyoungest, you're forced to learn

(07:16):
to uh be in the background andwhat that means.
Uh, because you're you, youknow, I came from a pretty
boisterous, pretty, you know, myolder siblings was no way I was
going to take over the room,and so I was in the room and

(07:38):
what I learned from you, learnthere.
You just, you're able to pickup so much so I would say you
know that listening, but the youyou're able to pick up so much,
so I would say you know that,that listening.
But the prior household, mywife, once, when we we, when we
met, we met in Brooklyn, she hadcome by a gallery I was running
and wanted to volunteer, andthat's, and we met, we became

(07:58):
friends.
We weren't just instantly.
Uh, she, she, she was lookingfor a different style dude than
I was at the time.
I was an artist that didn'twant to try to look like an
artist.
I didn't want to look like atypical artist, she wanted to
look like an artist.
But I think I wore down withthe fact that I think like an

(08:20):
artist.
I am a creative.
So it's not how you look, it'show you live, how you problem
solve, not how you look, it'show you live, how you problem
solve, how you think.
And so that we met in Brooklyn.
But once we were together, atone point we were married.
At this point she really Ithink she wanted to leave
Brooklyn and go to Jersey andshe gave me a job.

(08:42):
Spec said I don't know anythingabout Jersey.
I tossed it to the side and Idon't know how much longer maybe
it was a month or two later, Iget a call from the search firm
wanting to interview me about ajob.
And I'm like well, these peoplecalled me and they want to
interview me for this job.
And how do they even know who I?

(09:03):
Do?
They even know who I am.
She's like you remember thattime I handed you that job, uh,
spec, and you, just you, saidyou know, you didn't know
anything about jersey and tossedit aside.
Well, I submitted yourinformation and so I went and I
interviewed and, um, I went andinterviewed and I took that

(09:27):
position and that's how I endedup meeting Dale, because we
moved to New Jersey.
I took on that role and I justsay that and to say that you
know, I'm in a household offemales my wife and two
daughters and you know I reallybelieve they are all brilliant

(09:49):
and I think leadership for me isrecognizing brilliance and
helping to position it so thatit can be realized and happen,
which means understanding is,you know, as a leader in my

(10:11):
house, it's not about me beingthe smartest person in the room.
It's about me recognizing,being part of recognizing great
ideas and just great thoughtsand things that we should put
into action.
Some of the best things thathave happened to us is because I
was comfortable enough tolisten to my wife Checking that

(10:34):
ego Correct and just leaders,period.
They, they lose sight of youknow, lose sight of.
You know, when you'resurrounded with amazing people,
you know that's part of what you, what we all want, right, and

(10:54):
we don't pick our kids now, youknow, we picked our spouse.
So I picked an amazing, smartwoman.
She's a lawyer, she's brilliant, she's beautiful, smart woman,
she's a lawyer, she's brilliant,she's beautiful.
Listen.
At a certain point I remembershe said, hey, we need to buy a
house, we need to get out ofthis apartment.
At the time.
I wasn't thinking about buyinga house in that moment, but it

(11:17):
made sense to me.
I went with it.
I won a public art commissionwhich gave us enough money for a
down payment.
We own that house right now.
It's a four-family house, abrownstone in Brooklyn.
That was one of the mostimportant moves or just

(11:39):
foundations economically for ourfamily, foundations
economically for our family.
And so I think for a lot of us,especially men, is really
recognizing the brilliance inour wives and in our daughters

(12:00):
and empowering them andsupporting them and recognizing
that, you know, just greatthought it, it, it really it
doesn't care if it comes out ofa male or female or whatever.
So that's how I try tointerface within the, within
Love it, Tell me tell me whatyour daughters are up to.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
What are, what are they?
What are they at?

Speaker 1 (12:19):
My oldest daughter graduated last year.
My daughter's the exact sameage as Dale's kids.
My oldest daughter justgraduated last year from NYU.
She's living in Manhattan.
She's working for EssencePublications, essence Magazine,
their platform.
She graduated with a degree incommunications, media and

(12:43):
culture.
So she's in that media andculture space, loves fashion.
Smart girl.
Proud of her.
My youngest daughter is asophomore at Georgetown and so,

(13:05):
at the very least, they pickedtwo of the most expensive
schools they could find.
But you know, it's greatexperiences and and once again,
uh, grateful the fact that I'min a position where they could
make those choices and we couldsay you can do it.
Yeah, that's awesome.
He's coming back to grateful.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
Does your youngest know what she wants to study?

Speaker 1 (13:26):
She kind of, and in fact she may be transferring out
of Georgetown because she'sreally actually interested in
going into the communicationsort of space.
She's really sort of leaningthat way.
She's a wonderful creative, soshe's actually considering and
putting in the paperwork totransfer to Howard.

(13:48):
So she likes DC.
You know Georgetown is aninteresting.
She wanted it bad but wants youto be careful what you ask for
sometimes Because Georgetown isvery sort of penny loafer sort

(14:09):
of penny loafer.
Um, yeah, it's hard.
You know the north, sort ofblue blood, northeastern blue
blood kind of vibe to it.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
You know, yeah, well, you gotta, you gotta find the
spot that's best for everybody,you know.
So then we become our bestversion of ourselves.
Um, yeah, all right, so I love,um, I, that was awesome.
I love love learning about,about the family, but I know I
like, I like learning aboutpeople when they grew up, and me
, obviously, a youngest of six.
Um, um, tell me about what waslife like growing up for you and

(14:37):
the impact that your mom anddad had on you.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Now that you're a dad , Um, for me it was, you know,
growing up, I mean, my, my, mychildhood was amazing.
Uh, I'm the youngest of sixkids, four boys, two girls.
Um, it's probably, uh, what,like a 10 year between me and
the oldest, 10 years, uh, spanbetween the two, between the

(15:02):
oldest and the youngest.
Um, it was always somethinggoing on in my house.
The weird thing is, you know,it was always somebody there.
It was always people around mysiblings, their friends, and you
know, I know a lot of peoplewho they weren't my friends, but
it was because it was mybrother's or sister's friends,

(15:22):
so they were around.
And my dad, in the early yearshe was 50 when I was born, so he
was real old school, and so itwas like the boys had, you know,
you cutting grass, you doingthe trash.
My brothers didn't even get todo sports because they had to go

(15:44):
work with him.
He was an entrepreneur, heowned an automated car wash.
He was the first black man inDetroit to have an automated car
wash in the 1950s.
And so, my brothers, theydidn't get to play sports
because, for him, young menneeded to know how to work.

(16:04):
His father died when he was alittle boy.
He had to go to work, so he was.
So for him, being a man wasabout providing, and which meant
you needed to have work ethicand you needed to.
You know he loved sports, butit was for him.
It wasn't going to put food onthe table.

(16:25):
You know, sports hadn't becomea thing where you could see
industry around it.
Yeah, you know.
So that was how it was.
So him passing when I was 12really was directly connected to
my being able to do organizedsports.
Because if he, you know, maybeI still would have been able to,

(16:47):
but I don't know, if he had abusiness, it could have been the
same as my brother's.
Yeah, you know which is you, orhe would get you a job at a
friend of his who had a.
But that was his mentality withthat.
So that's how I, you know.

(17:09):
So we you know it was really,and he was didn't spare the rod.
I mean he was old school.
I mean he'd be arrested intoday's world.
You know you, you didn't takeany shit If you, if you weren't
doing what you're supposed to do, you were going to get your.
You know, you were going to geta whooping and what it was.

(17:31):
That's what it was then, and soI shared a room with my brothers
.
I didn't, I never had my ownroom.
It was six of us and we had.
We were living in a fourbedroom house.
My parents had their room andthen two in each, my two sisters
and then two boys in each room.
That was my life growing up.
So I saw the beautiful thingwas I got to see life through

(17:57):
them.
So my older brothers would havebeen.
They was into rock and rollbecause they were coming of age
in the 60s, you know.
So I saw, heard their music andall the stuff they were into.
So I really was, had a richchildhood and seen lots of

(18:21):
different music.
And you know, from jazz to rockand roll to R&B.
You know just all of it, all ofit, and so it was really cool.
It was really cool growing upin Detroit, was you know that
time?
You know, because theautomobile industry, detroit,

(18:42):
had the largest Black homeowningpopulation in America at that
time, because not just Blackpeople, black White, have
middle-class jobs.
Many of them were in factories,but they were able to provide
in a way that you don't.
It's a little different now.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
Right, it's different .
Now, what did your mom do?
Did she work too, or did shestay home?
She work too or did she stay athome?

Speaker 1 (19:05):
she stayed at home because he was my dad, was very
successful in what he was doing.
So she, in fact, we even had ananny at some point.
I mean that was this was a guywho never went past the 6th
grade, you know, but he, he, heunderstood business and he

(19:28):
understood certain he was.
I mean, he flew us, the six ofus, to California in 1968.
Yeah, this is a black man, andhis wife and his six kids.
We had to come back because ofriots, this riots in 68.
So that was you know.

(19:50):
So, you know, while we had, atthe same time, he was the kind
of dude that you, he was goingto teach you about participation
.
So when you work with him, youwere going to give money back to
him because it costs money tolive.
Yeah, you had to pay rent, youhad to pay electricity, you had

(20:12):
to pay.
You know, it was always about,you know, surviving.
Essentially, you know, teachingyou to provide.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
Where do you think he learned that that strong work
ethic?

Speaker 1 (20:28):
well, I mean casey, I really think it was a lot of.
It was the time that he, youknow, the time that he, you know
, lived, yeah, uh, because Imean, let me see, I'm born in 62
.
So he was 50.
So he would have been what?
1912.
So you know, that wasdepression.

(20:49):
That was stuff that I don'tcare who you know, that was a
time where you know, as a man inAmerica, you had to, you had to
step up America, you had tostep up.
There was no excuses, there wasvery little room for error and

(21:10):
I would say, even at that time,it didn't matter.
You know, even whether white,black, it didn't matter.
That time was, it was a hell ofa time and you know what they
say.
You know the hotter, you knowyou can bend metal when it's hot
, the fire's hot enough, and Ithink that was just a time in

(21:32):
our nation that it was hot.
I mean, you know, between, youknow just depression, race,
class, you just I, I mean thecomplexity of what was happening
at that time.
I, I can't imagine it.
Be honest with you, I can'twrap my head around what he did

(21:56):
to get where he, you know, toget to where he was, you know
and like, but so, yeah, so thatwas my childhood, so it was.
You know, you had to berespectful.
I had no talent, no talent.
No, you didn't take no shit.
You gave.
I just gave my brother.
But my brother, he had bought usa 68 mustang convertible.

(22:19):
My, with my mom, was backing itout and she backed it into the
apple tree and it was like god,this, you know you can't, so he
just for him.
I guess in his view she wasn'tgonna be able to handle this.
So he gave it to my oldestbrother.
But he said to my oldestbrother it's one guy lived
around the block that he feltwas just, you know, no good kind

(22:39):
of you know trouble, you knowguy who's gonna be in trouble,
don't have him in that car.
And uh, my brother had him inthat car and my other brother
ratted on him.
My brother just ordered mebecause they wouldn't let him
ride in the car with him to goto a picnic.
And my father took that car andalso um, punched him but and

(23:04):
took the car back.
He had a car like a week, butthat's, that was the house, you
know I mean.
So he loved the shit out yougive you, but you know I'm
giving you stuff.
I'm gonna put stuff here foryou, but I have expectations of
how you're going to handle andif you don't, there's

(23:26):
consequences.
That was our house, that washis tone.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Well, I'm sorry you lost your pops.
We shared that in common, eric.
I lost my dad in 2021.
December 29th 2021, coming upon the, it'll be what shoot?
Five-year anniversary, hard tobelieve, or four-year
anniversary, pardon me, right,right, how did your dad pass
Cancer?
Cancer, yeah, my dad passedaway.

(23:53):
It was like a long.
It was like a paper cut, like Isay that kind of sarcastically,
but like a long bleed of arapture of health from dementia
Alzheimer's, a rapture of hellfrom dementia alzheimer's.
He fought alkalism to um, uh,kidney issue, kidney failure,
diabetes, I mean just likeeverything.
And then he got it kind of likemental, kind of had some mental

(24:14):
struggles but, um, at the endit was actually so.
My dad was big, uh, loved algreen, so I played al green
right by his bed with him forhis like had some like souls,
like damn dad.
Like because I forgot how muchI like Al Green when I was
listening to this like damn,some good shit, right, right.
And then when I was with my dad, though for his last breath so
that was actually in seasonthree I dedicated every episode

(24:35):
to him because it was likeduring COVID and couldn't really
do a lot of funerals back then.
So I feel like that was a greatway to honor my pops.
But um, so your dad passes away.
Do you think that's the reasonwhy you got to play hoop in
sports?

Speaker 1 (24:49):
oh yeah, definitely, definitely.
I mean it definitely.
Uh, the the thing that he didwith my brothers, which was
basically put them to workeither with him or someone else,
um, they, well, wasn't gonnahappen at that point and uh, m65
and I'm, I was very athleticand and, uh, you know the sports

(25:12):
thing, I could do it as much asI wanted.
There was nobody saying, hey,come on, you're gonna come to
work with me.
That was, that was you know.
And I did work with my brother,who, one of my brothers, who
became a tradesman wallpaper andpainter, and I'd do stuff with
him, but it wasn't like Pops,you know the way he did it, the
way he did it, the way he didhis thing.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
Talk to me about the impact your dad had on you as
you got into sports and life andbusiness just from like the
mental toughness and talk abouthow that impacted you.

Speaker 1 (25:46):
Just, really, I think , more than anything else, just
the whole accountability thing,you know, just the fact that you
know, you knew, you know, justyou knew, you had to have a
clear thing in your mind aroundright and wrong or do I go down

(26:07):
that path or not?
Because if he found out youwere going to, you know, and so
that sort of becomes wired in,uh for me.
Um, you know that that actionshave consequences and so really,

(26:28):
more than anything else, beingthoughtful about the things that
I did that I was going to takepart in, not that I was an angel
, because I was not, but at thesame time there was a moral
compass and he later became adeacon, I mean, even like little

(26:48):
stuff, like you know, sunday,you know, early on Sunday, you
know, because I was the youngest, he with boys, he was big on
having his boys around him,which meant he went to church.
I was going to church.
My sister could get out of itby not having a dress and the
idea of wearing pants was not anoption, and I was like I used

(27:13):
to piss me off to no end, causeit was.
I never.
That wasn't an, that wasn't anoption.
But the cool thing was, you know, my, because he was the age he

(27:33):
was when I was born.
He his, his niece, some of hisnieces and nephews had kids my
age.
So I was close to them and I'dsay, like my cousin, daryl and
Punk, I'd say, are they coming,are they going to go?
Because I wanted to have themwith.
I had a company and hebasically started their father

(27:56):
and their business.
Now their mother was his niece.
He called her up and it wasjust crazy.
It was like, hey, joanne, itwasn't asking, I'm going to come
, pick the boys up, take them tochurch with me, make me an egg

(28:18):
sandwich and some orange juice,and I see you and boom.
That's how that conversationwent.
We get over there and they weredressed for church and
everything was there.
But I mean what I didn't realizeat that time the house they
were living in.
That was the house that myfamily was in before my father
bought the house that I was borninto.
And so he was he.
Was he provided for familyopportunities?

(28:42):
I mean her husband you knowthere was a point where he was
also involved in the numbersbusiness and their father, my
father, started him in hisbusiness.
Now, did they buy that house?
I have no idea.

(29:02):
But you realize, you know itwas clear.
It's something else in lifewhen you see a person that
people respect.
Yeah, seeing, you know, and Irecognize it more now as a man,

(29:27):
as a child, I, I, I just thoughtmaybe everybody was just kind
of scared, a little scared ofhim, like I was, you know.
But you knew he loved you, butyou, you, you had a little
healthy, little healthy fear.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
When did you realize?
Before he passed?
I mean, obviously you were only12,.
But when did you realize, man,my dad's pretty smart
businessman?

Speaker 1 (29:48):
That was, I mean, appreciating him was later,
because it became complex, thedisease.
My mother was 15 years youngerthan him.
She's beautiful, was abeautiful woman and their
relationship was complex.
Beautiful woman and theirrelationship was complex.
We were going to church.
There was verbal tension therethat I didn't want to see.

(30:13):
When he died, just being honesthere, casey, when he died, a
peace came.
I actually embraced it and washappy for it because it just
sort of some of the chaos wentaway.

(30:33):
But it wasn't until later thatI really understood, I mean in
that moment and that's onceagain understanding and maybe
why I'm like I am now about themoment, right, because that
moment when you're 10, 11, andthere's some that craziness of

(30:55):
relationships of a man and awoman that you have no control
over as a child, right, you know, and that, so that was there
Amongst the layer of it all Ismom, still with us.
Yeah, mom is still with us.
She'll be 97 in January nextmonth.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
That is a good life.
Yeah, she ain't ready to go.
She's a trip.
Mom talking about grateful.
Ready to go, she's a trip.
It's like mom talking aboutgrateful.
It's like you know.
It's like she's trying to getas much, many of them as
possible.
Mom, you know, just, hey, youknow I'm great all things
considered.
I say, mom, you're 90, you're96, you've been outlived.

(31:39):
There's nobody in our familythat has seen the years that you
have.
That I am aware of, you know.
So it just comes with a littlebit of you don't hear as good
and you know I'm a little out ofbreath.
That's sort of like par for thecourse.

(31:59):
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Tell me, where do you think yourlove of the arts came from?
My mom, my mother, was studiedart and was in the creative
spaces as a when growing up tookus you know that trip in

(32:24):
California.
There's a picture of me or herin front of the Los Angeles
County front of their big museum.
You know my mom was alwaystaking us to concerts and you
know art and you know that sortof stuff.
So you know I saw that with her.

(32:44):
And then my cousins across thestreet from us.
Their father was an artist, hewas an illustrator and back in
the 60s you know, even 70s thereweren't, they didn't have Black
people on greeting cards.
Hallmark didn't have blackfolks on greeting cards.
Well, my cousin's father sawthat and developed a broom

(33:09):
designs and basically it was agreeting card company with black
people and his wife is set tothis day from them creating that
business.
And that was before Hallmarkgot smart and did mahogany and
put different people on greetingcards.

(33:29):
So I saw creativity, I saw thatstuff.
And then my mom, so it wasaround.

Speaker 3 (33:40):
Yeah, Hi, I'm Leslie Vickery, the CEO and founder of
ClearEdge, a company dedicatedto transforming the business of
talent.
Through our three lines ofbusiness ClearEdge, marketing,
recruiting and Rising that helporganizations across the
recruitment and HR tech sectorsgrow their brands and market

(34:00):
share while building their teamswith excellence and equity.
I believe we were one ofCasey's very first clients.
He helped our sales and accountteams really those people on
the front lines of building anddeveloping client relationships
in so many ways.
Here are a few.
He helped us unlock the powerof curiosity.
For me it was a game changer.

(34:21):
I was personally learning allabout TED-based that's, tell,
explain, describe, questioningand that really resonated with
me.
We also learned about unlockingthe power of humility and
unlocking the power ofvulnerability embrace change to

(34:45):
stay positive.
He is one of the most positivepeople I know.
He believes that optimism,resilience and a sense of humor
can go a long way in helpingpeople achieve their goals and
overcome obstacles.
And I agree Casey's book Win theRelationship, not the Deal.
It is a must read.
Listen.
Whether you're looking forcoaching and training or a
powerful speaker or keynote,casey is one of the people I

(35:08):
recommend when talking tocompanies.
The end result for us, at leastas one of Casey's clients.
Our own clients would literallycommend our approach over all
other companies, from the way wewere prepared in advance of a
call to how we drove meetings,to how we follow up.
It sounds really basic, I know,but let me tell you it is a

(35:29):
standout approach that led tostronger relationships.
I encourage you to learn moreby going to CaseyJCoxcom.
You have nothing to lose byhaving a conversation and a lot
to gain.
Now let's get back to Casey'spodcast, the quarterback dad
cast.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
When did you know you had a chance to play hoop in
college?

Speaker 1 (35:50):
Um, well, I was, um, I probably was six, I was
definitely over six, two and Land junior high school.
I mean I was ninth grade.
I was six, four, six, five,pretty much what I'm six, five,
that sort of topped out there.
But I enjoyed it.

(36:11):
I love playing and when I wasin middle school I just was able
to dominate the people I playedwith and it was great because I
was not a good academic student, I think I probably dyslexic I
was never diagnosed but I washeld back in the second grade

(36:35):
and didn't have a lot ofconfidence.
And then all of a sudden, thatheightened athleticism.
You know, I was realized.
I, you know, was better thanmajority of the people that I
was around.
I was bigger than them and itwas empowering.

(36:56):
Wow, it was like something Iwas good at and you know that.
I tell people.
It's funny, I say you know that.
I tell people it's funny, I sayyou know, when you find
something that can give youbelief in yourself because
before that, you know I was Ilike to have been held back in a
gray.
Uh, there was a lot ofself-doubt, um, until then.

(37:22):
And all of a sudden I went tobeing the man at something, from
being a person who was tryingto be a shrinking violet my God,
this is dispelling me, becauseI was going to misspell words
I'm a terrible speller that wastraumatizing.

(37:43):
I was like, oh, words fromTerrell Prespeller, you know,
and it was like that wastraumatizing, like, ah, shit, go
line up.
I was like it felt like afiring squad to me.
I'll be honest with you, youknow and this is elementary,
eric, you know what I mean thatfelt like.
But, boy, when I finally but youknow, what's funny is that now
I did have art in and I lovedrawing and stuff, but I didn't

(38:06):
it didn't, you know?
I did it, but it didn't dawn onme or hit me that it could be
something that I could make alife out of.
It was something I enjoyeddoing.
And my niece found my.
When we saw our house she foundmy old elementary school report
card.
It was all it was D's and itwas.
It was totally.

(38:27):
It was so underwhelming, casey,but I had A in art every
semester.
She said, look, okay, eric, youknow, you gotta, you know you,
you good in art even back then.
But but you don't, you know, Ididn't you, you know, I didn't
think about it like that then Ihate to poke fun at our school

(38:48):
system, but isn't that that's a?

Speaker 2 (38:50):
that's such a miss as our school systems?
It's like if, if someone'sdoing that good art like, don't
make him study chemistry, he'snever going to use it like I, I
was, I you know the phrase inthe world's run by c students.
There's something, something tosay about that.
Like I was a three point guy,3.2 in high school, never really
applied myself, I just didn't.

(39:11):
There's something interested me.
And then I got into college.
I like business classes, I likeum, some marketing, right,
right, like what.
What taught me life skills wassports and going through an
injury and learning the power ofvulnerability.
Learning humble enough to askquestions, being curious, like
emotional intelligence, issomething that I feel like our

(39:33):
school systems are lacking toteach.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
I had to figure out how to be successful at
something and to get through itand there was nothing, it was
very little in the system tohelp with that.

(39:57):
And I mean bottom line is, youknow, I guess that's the
beginning of sort of complexproblem solving and one doesn't
even realize it.
You know, I mean that was, whatwas ironic about that was that I
and I had to figure out Casey,I mean, you know, whatever I had

(40:19):
to do, whatever I had to do,and whether that was a
combination of occasionallycheating, if I had to, if I had,
you know, staying up later andlooking at it and writing it
down, or doing whatever I had todo to try to, you know, to get
over whatever hump there was,because at a certain point, you

(40:40):
know.
So that was crazy, because whenI think now, you know, you know
, there's so much, there's somuch more sophisticated around
understanding how children learnand positioning them to
flourish, that did not exist atall.

(41:01):
And I mean it was like one Idon't know, it wasn't me I'm
like, okay, second grade, I'mwith my class and the next year,
you know, oh, you're going tobe in that second grade class
with these other kids and all myfriends were in another class.
Yeah, I can't, that would havebeen hard.
Oh no, it was, it was, it was,it was brother, if it wasn't for

(41:22):
the blessing of 6'5 and balland to find a space that I could
be, find that self-worth andbelief.
And then I walked through thatdoor and I wasn't looking back,
bro, yeah, I was not looking.
I was like you know what theysay, fake it till you make it,

(41:44):
you know, you know, uh, thelevel of insecurity was there.
You couldn't, you know, didn'twhat they say?
Don't let them see.
You sweat and you figure it outand eventually you get the
swagger, you know, and as youget older, there's some imposter
syndrome is there?
But you learn.
Really, everybody has theirblinds, everybody has their

(42:06):
thing.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
Everybody.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
Everybody and the people who are at least for me.
I figured out to reach myzenith, I had to be comfortable
and own my shortcomings, andthat empowered me to be just now
.
You know.
Uh, I wasn't hiding somethingthat was a shame of.

(42:28):
A lot of people don't reachwhere they could go in life
because they're hiding somethingthat they're ashamed of you, uh
, funny, kind of ironic or funnystory about that.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
So I I speak also at like company events and I didn't
plan to do this, but it like itjust kind of happened.
In this entrepreneurial journeythat I'm on, and one of the
presentations I give, I have aslide that I convince people
don't fake it till you make it.
I convince people to lean in onyour authenticity and realize
that we all are flawed.
I don't care how successfulpeople are, they still got gaps.
And right before I went on, thishead of marketing was talking

(43:02):
to the team.
There's like 200 people in theroom and he said you guys got to
fake it till you make it.
And I'm like, oh man, I'm aboutto tell these people the exact
opposite.
And so I always all I couldthink about is I'm going to lean
into this.
And so I got up on stage and Isaid, hey, before we get started
no-transcript I said, hey, Ijust want to apologize to you

(43:32):
because I'm going to teach yourteam to do the exact opposite of
what you just told me to do it.
I didn't know you.
In like 35 minutes, when I havea slide that says the exact
opposite, I go.
We can agree, disagree.
But I just didn't want to makethat and everybody was laughing
but I was like it was my own wayto like kind of lean into the

(43:53):
vulnerability.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
I totally agree with you, and.
But I would just say, for me, Ithink part of it is, and one
thing I learned with art is thatthere's certain things that you
got to start believing inyourself, even when you may not,
in your true heart, believethat you should and, and and.

(44:21):
That is when I say that that'ssort of where I'm, you know,
because it was.
I mean, you know, when you have, when you are on the other side
of the of the odds, and youknow you began to.
You know and and and and.
Really that I don't like theterm.
You write that.
Think it till you make it, butit really is.

(44:43):
I don't like that term, you'reright, think it till you make it
, but it really is.
The people believe that.
The people is that we all, inour minds, visualize an outcome
for ourselves, and there are alot of people who they're, you
know.
They call it well, I'm going tobe real, I'm going to keep.
You know I'm going to be.
I'm a realist, I'm a.

(45:03):
This I'm a.
You know I'm so, and so the soto me, and I use the analogy of
driving down the highway.
So the real thing is that youreally just going to concentrate
on the fact that, oh my, thatit could be an accident at any
moment.
It could be catastrophic,catastrophic.
So I'm going to keep that inthe front of my mind.
You're going to go crazy.

(45:25):
Yeah, you're going to go crazy,you know.
And so for me it's sort of like,you know, I've learned how to
drive.
I know how to drive, I trust Iknow my instincts.
I'm going to track my lanes,I'm thinking.
I'm in my mind already thinkingabout the enjoyment I'm going

(45:46):
to have in reaching mydestination, and that's what I
mean.
So in that moment, I mean inthat moment, I'm in.
The reality is I'm in the car.
Well, you know, I'm whateverhours from LA, you know, going
cross country, but in my head,you know I am going to.
I'm going to put the dream inmy head, I'm going to put what I

(46:07):
want to see, and so for somepeople, they be what that does.
Does that's not the.
You're an optimist.
That's not real.
But at the, at the end of theday, why am I walking around
with a nightmare in my head.

Speaker 2 (46:19):
I'm a naive optimist, eric.
Yeah, I mean I, I'm almost if,like, if Seattle was the
pessimism and we're looking atlike a a line of you know, like
a timeline of Seattle'spessimism, we'll call, you know,
chicago the end of optimism.
I'm like in the Bahamas, thatfar East, that naive of optimism
, and I always tell myselfsomeone's going to do it.

(46:40):
Why not me Right?
Right and so, yeah, I love.
And so, if people can't see me,if you're not watching this on
YouTube, behind me there's abelieve sign.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
Right, I got a Ted.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Lasso theme.
But when I was 41, eric, I hada mentor.
His name is John Kaplan.
Shout out to Kaplan.
He asked us the question, orasked me a question Do you
believe what you do matters?
And a simple question.
But I don't think a lot ofpeople spend time thinking about
it.
And so that I can my executivecoaching work, I work with sales
teams and leaders.
I always make sure they believelike you got to.

(47:11):
If you don't believe inyourself, you're already going
to lose.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
Well, when I went to school in St Mary's a referee
and I'm going to get this wrongbut they had a thing on the
locker room area and it said orright, there's something like
what the mind can believe youcan achieve, or something.
It was that kind of statementand that always stuck with me
and just in terms of you know, I, I'm, I've got to be
comfortable with whatvisualizing the outcome I want,
and there's no reason for me tocompromise how grand or just how

(47:54):
spectacular, I choose to seethat in vivid terms, and that
was that's huge.
My daughters, you know, andthat mine is powerful, and you

(48:15):
know, and we train ourselves tounder, you know, let me think of
the worst situation and then itonly gets better, whatever
happens.
In the meanwhile, you just giveyourself all that anxiety and
just unnecessary negativityaround an outcome that we don't

(48:35):
control, you know.
So.
You know.
So for me, you know, I'm really, you know that that going,
giving it that thought that way,it's just the only way to do it
.
So that was part of thesurvival you know is is really
uh, and you know, and my mom geta lot of that from her.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
That's cool always as you and your wife were raising
your daughters um, what tell meabout, like the, the top two or
three values that were likemust-haves for your family, that
you were instilled in them?

Speaker 1 (49:12):
Well, you know, I'm going to just say this, you know
, and I and I just going tosound corny, but one thing I
didn't share with you is that, ayear before our oldest daughter
was born, we had a son who wasstillborn.
My wife was 36 weeks pregnant,or I mean she was full term.
I mean, mean, out of my threechildren, him being first, um,

(49:37):
uh, he was the only one she hadto deliver vaginally.
Um, um, that was in, but he wasexpired when he was born and uh
, so for me it it's gratitude,bro.
Let me just say my life goesback to that, because my first
child had, when I held him therewas, the life had gone from him

(50:03):
and I prayed for daughters atthat point and I kicked a lot of
trees and you know, and Ireally my, my, my, my
relationship with God changed,you know, cause it got
complicated when I saw some ofthe things of with my father and
mother's relationship, and hewas a deacon, I had to go to

(50:24):
church yet, but he argued withher and and you know, at the end
of the day I felt like, um, godbrought me back into seeing,
okay, okay, it's me.
And you, brother, yeah, thisain't you?
That moment I couldn't look atanybody but me in my

(50:46):
relationship and what I neededspiritually in that moment and I
realized he was just a mandealing the same way I'm trying
to deal in my life and it was alot of imperfections and you
know it was complex and God onlyknows what, but he did the best
he could with what he had andnow it was on me to do the best

(51:08):
I could in my family and so thatwhole thing, so for me,
value-wise, it's appreciation.
You know it was my.
I mean let me just say this youknow, noah, our son, he was
doing that.
March of his due date was likeMarch 25th.

(51:30):
My daughter, my oldest daughter,her due date was March 24th,
exactly a year later, wow.
And so when my wife waspregnant, they were not going to
let her be pregnant on the daythat we, because he was born
March 17th, or she gave birth tohim on March 17th, and the

(51:52):
doctors were like you're notgoing to be pregnant on March
17th, or she gave birth to himon March 17th and the doctors
were like you're not going to bepregnant on March 17th.
And then, you know, you realizein those moments the power of
the mind.
They were like you can't.
The anxiety level you will haveon those anniversaries with
that little girl in you is not.
We just don't recommend that.

(52:12):
So they induced her to theC-section and my daughter was
born on March 12th.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
March 12th Mm-hmm, that's my birthday.
Yep, okay, there we go.
I just got goosebumps man, thattripped me out right there.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
Yep, so that's how that got.
So to me, my, you know, for meit's that, that is.
That was a moment in my lifewhere I, where it was like I
realized eric, you're gonna,you're either gonna grow through
this or is you, or it's goingto just take you out, because

(52:47):
you just it's's just you knowemotionally and just you know,
because there is no answer.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
There's no answer.

Speaker 1 (52:59):
It's no sense there's none.
No one should have to gothrough that.
The fragility of life.
You now that balance has beentipped.
That balance has been tipped.
That sort of invincible guy whocould dunk on people and you
know what I mean who could 6'5and intimidate, you know in
shape.
Nah, dude, you ain't got it.

(53:20):
You don't control shit, andthat was that, that was that
moment, and you need to have arelationship with God.
You need some stuff.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
Are you more spiritual than religious?

Speaker 1 (53:35):
I would say so, me too.
You know I would say so, but Iknew in that moment I needed
something bigger than me.
I needed you know the purposeand you know, at the end of the
day, I mean, you know why.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
Well, I think I like, I mean I get you know, I have a
, I have a son in college, Ihave a daughter, like I
mentioned daughter, who's ajunior and she has, she has
goals to play hoop past highschool and hope that happens If
it doesn't again.
And I just I have to constantlyremind myself like I I'll talk
to God or I'll talk to my dadand have him like just please,

(54:13):
let me help me remind her thatit's not my journey, it is not
my journey and whatever shedecides to do, I'm going to be
happy with it.
She, she might come hometonight and say, dad, I'm done
playing basketball Now would Ibe shocked, pissed, frustrated,
a hundred percent.
I'd be like, are you no?
Oh, hell no.
But if she did, and I'd have tobe okay with it and try to find
a reason why, and so I justlike, those are things like I
feel like.

(54:34):
Or if I'm not my best, if I feellike I'm, my impatience comes
out, or you know, I've learnedto like hey, I can either be a
complete asshole, or I can go tomy wife and say you know what?
I was not my best, I'm sorry,and I'll go tell my.
And then I usually, when I'mnot my best, I try to like tell
my kids and say, let me give youan example where dad was a
complete fricking tool, CauseI'm messed up, we're all messed
up, and like my wife's fathergot, shout out to Bruce.

(54:57):
He always says everybody's kindof right on that edge of being
just a complete dipshit.
But we got, how do you kind oflean just a little bit on that
tightrope where you don't fallbut you're just embrace it?

Speaker 1 (55:07):
They know that we're all there, but like lean a
little bit that way and but yeah, I think like the power of
prayer is real, yeah, Well, forme, for me, it really is about
being grateful, it really isabout, you know, it's it's so

(55:33):
minute in comparison to issuesthat people are really dealing
with.
You know, and that was whereyou know, like, just some of the
challenges and even thosechallenges you know, for me.
And at that time, I know, whenI went through that with a
friend of mine, god rest hissoul, was dealing with brain
cancer and you know, he justsaid, at a certain point, he
said, eric, I know, when I wentthrough that with a friend of
mine, god rest his soul, wasdealing with brain cancer, and

(55:54):
you know, he just said, at acertain point, he said, you know
, I used to say why me, why me?
And at a certain point he saidwhy not me?
And you realize, and you know,when I said why me in a certain
point, the why not was that myrole was to experience that, to

(56:15):
share with other people, causeI'm the kind of person I, I'm
fun, I'm comfortable sharinglike that.
And so the number of peoplethat I talked to, I mean I never
forget, you know I talked towhen I, at certain points, were
going through that it was, itwas weird.
In many instances it werepeople who had gone through
similar stuff, who needed tohear what I was saying.

(56:40):
But it's total random that I'mwhere this person is in this
moment.
In that moment.
His answer why not me?
You understood the why, youknow, because you can't and I'll
call it minister to someone, oryou can't share with someone
experiences that you haven't had, and so you know, certain

(57:06):
things are put in our path andnow, all of a sudden, we're
experiencing, it becomes part ofour, you know, database or
whatever, of experiences.
So now, in sharing and beinghuman with another human being,
I'm sharing my experiences andcall it randomness, or call it
God or call it divine.
But all of a sudden I'm in apool with somebody halfway

(57:29):
across the world talking aboutsomething that me and my wife
went through and that couplejust went through.
That it's not random, and whatI'm saying to them, I'm looking
at them, sort of you know, youknow healing, with part of those

(57:50):
words and not, and in that thatis so for me, that experience
shaped me, cause I was marriedand my beautiful wife and she's
pregnant, I, you know I've gotmy boy and you know my son up in
there, you know, and, and youknow, I'm, you know hey.

(58:11):
I'm like dad, you know.
You know my son up in there,you know, and you know I'm.
You know, hey, I'm like dad.
You know, I'm former ballplayer, you know, probably going
to be a big boy.
You know I'm.
You know I'm thinking, you knowall that stuff and then it
doesn't happen.
All of a sudden the rug istotally pulled and then in that
moment, you got to find grace inthat and, and you know uh, to

(58:34):
survive it and and recognizethat it was a blessing, that you
know that experience shaped meand made me a better father
husband everything you know andit was either that was put there
for me to grow through or oryou know, and so, being grateful
, uh helped me to survive thatand so I I've chosen that and I

(59:00):
try to instill that in my girlsand and our family.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
That's powerful man.
I did not know that.
So I um rest in peace, knowwherever you're at.
But it's a powerful story and Ihope that there's a mom or dad
listening that knows that youcan get through those
challenging times.
And there's a great quote thatI've found recently that she
paid in the last three months,that I've shared with my kids a
lot and I share it with myselfwhen I need it, and it says
tough times don't last, buttough people do.
And I just love it because Ithink sometimes we need stories

(59:30):
in life as humans.
We need stories to connect to,to be like, okay, wait a minute,
not.
Either I can sit here, keep myhead down on the ground and just
like let depression take overme, or I can ask for help, reach
out, listen to a podcast, ask afriend for help, go read a book
, take a walk.
I mean, do something other thanjust, but don't let the start

(59:53):
stop us from not doing something.
You got that right.
You know how did Noah's passingimpact your girls.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
They really didn't.
You know it's funny, theyreally didn't know because it
happened.
I mean, it happened and thenwhen they got here we didn't.
You know, it's recent.
What's interesting is so wejust sold our house in West
Orange on November 18.
And so my daughter's my oldestdaughter, was there and I'm
going through stuff and it is awooden box that we put in our

(01:00:21):
stuff and that wooden box was my, it was a memory box and in
that box is his ashes.
In that box was his little hat,the little cap they give you,
because we got all that Hisblanket, it's tiny stuff and it

(01:00:42):
was along with other members,loved ones, obituaries, and so
she had never seen that stuffand so I said I showed her what
it was.
I thought it it's young womenand it was like what do you do
with that?
Because it could scare them, itcould freak them out in terms
of being mothers eventually.

(01:01:04):
But I'm like you know what theyneed to know it because, who
knows God, I wish they don'texperience something like that,
because I didn't know until youknow that happened that my
mother had lost children.
You know that it was that, interms of you know if the
children had survived thatpassed, I wouldn't be here.

(01:01:28):
Probably, you know, they wouldhave probably stopped much
sooner, considering I'm numbersix was the last, and so just
sharing that, and it was aletter in there that my wife had
wrote and wrote journaling whenshe was pregnant, and my

(01:01:49):
daughter's reading it, you know,and you know it's just daily
stuff.
It wasn't the after thathappened, this was during the
moment, um, and so you know shestarts, you know she's shed a
few tears and just so thoughthat.
So it's really now, as they getolder, uh, that those things

(01:02:10):
are coming into play.
You know, know, because Ireally want them to understand.
You know they dramatic and Idon't know.
You know, for me this is crazy,the part of the strife, what I
saw my parents go through, that12 year old survival was I
learned to become detached andso it was weird.

(01:02:31):
For a long time I was, you know,I was a very loving person, and
then when people I love gotemotional and started crying and
stuff, I would detach andbecame colder and just
recognizing that and trying notto be that person and be there
for them, because I'm realizing,like my daughters, when they

(01:02:52):
get upset and it doesn't workout, they, they gotta cry, they
want to cry and be emotional,and I'm like, oh shit, you know,
it just drives me crazy, causeI'm like it's not going to do
anything.
And then I finally realized youknow what my version of that is
I, I, I, I, you know, I do that,you know, I'm, I'm, I'm damn
fuck, I do that, I kick myself,I'm mad at myself for letting

(01:03:13):
that happen, and that's how Ivent and work my way through it.
For them it's a cry, and once Istarted seeing that and so for
me it was like how do you growthrough it?
Because that's all I once againgoing through the Noah thing.
That's the only way I know todeal with things that seem

(01:03:40):
incomprehensible.
You know, emotionally is to, isto, is to find the gratitude
and the growth in it.
Why, what, what's in this thatcan make me better?

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
I think you learned empathy through that story too,
right, right.
Well, man, we've talked about alot.
I've learned a lot about you.
I feel like I could talk to youfor two more hours, but I want
to be sensitive to my listenersand but I'm grateful Dale
introduced this.
If, if people um well, howabout this?
Before, before I go to the nextquestion, if you were to

(01:04:17):
summarize what we talked about,eric, that people can take from
our conversation you know wetalked about a lot, but if you
could just summarize it, maybelike three actionable words or
two actionable words that we cangive people like hey, think
about these themes for your ownlife, for your own role as a dad
.
Tell me what comes to mind thatdads can take from our
conversation to be a betterleader or quarterback of their

(01:04:38):
home.

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
I think the key for us as men is vulnerability.
I think that we are, you know,are training to control emotion
and compartmentalize.
I think we can easily miss alot, you know, and I think
allowing ourselves to, to be, tobe authentic, you know, you

(01:05:04):
know, you know to understandmasculinity is not about you
know.
You know, you know I canoverpower and you know I'm not
phased.
You know it's about, you knowit's about, it's about being a
leader, and sometimes thatleadership is being a spiritual

(01:05:26):
leader, in in, you know, uh, inlike, you know, like you say, in
empathy or forgiveness, or, youknow, or love, you know.
And so to me, in order to bethose things, those things don't
reconcile with a kind ofstubborn masculinity that can

(01:05:48):
happen with us as men.

Speaker 2 (01:05:51):
I see it and that's that's my that's.
When I started this podcastnearly going on years, now, year
six it's it was to help dadsembrace vulnerability, curiosity
and humility, which I think arelife's superpowers and many of
us leave dormant in our body,and I work on those skills every
single day.
I'm not, I'm far from perfectat them.
I'm a curiosity psycho Like I'mobsessed with curiosity, even

(01:06:11):
like I got on Snapchat this year, which I never thought I would
do in my life, but I got itbecause I'm realizing that, as
caught with college and highschool kids there, they will
snap me back, messaging versustext me.
So you know my daughter, myson's girlfriend, her name,
charlie, shout out Charlie.
Charlie sent me a snap one daywith a picture of a magazine and
I had the word curious and shecircled it and sent it to me.

Speaker 1 (01:06:34):
So I would say you said three, so it's
vulnerability, authenticity tome is so critical.
It's everything.
And then you know.
Lastly, I think that you knowfor us as dad, and for men, I
think it's self-care, I meanit's, it's.
There is an aspect to you knowputting the oxygen mask on

(01:06:59):
yourself.
Yeah, so you can help otherpeople.
I think we, you know you don'tneed to understand when that,
what that really means for us.
Uh, so you know for me to bethere, you know there's certain
things I gotta do you know lovethat present like and so being

(01:07:23):
in the moment yeah, I mean ourkids are watching.

Speaker 2 (01:07:25):
That's one thing I've learned.
You know, like exercise is aperfect one of self-care, like
we, where we exercise in ourfamily and it's the most
important thing we do to startthe day, all right.
Well, my exercises change overthe years.

Speaker 1 (01:07:38):
I'm not doing like freaking powerlifting anymore,
but like I'm still moving like Iknew a guy and I know this is
gonna sound crazy and then I'mgonna let you go, uh, keep it.
But uh, and I'm a friend of my,friend of me and my wife, they
were together and his father, wewere talking.
He was like you know, mydaughter knows she ain't going
to bring no boys home, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah.
I was like.
I looked at him, I was likedude.

(01:08:04):
I said my daughters, I'm nottrying to send them to away
games.
I'm like really, I said so yousend your daughter over to a
young man's house so you canfeel better about not seeing her
with a young man in your house.
I'm like guy, so if yourdaughter needs help, she's in

(01:08:26):
somebody else's house.
I'm like dude, you gotta andpart of that, I think, is part
of that is tied into some of theI don't know weird warped
aspects of masculinity and whowe are as men.
My little girl, she can't behaving sex with somebody.

(01:08:47):
She can't.
Brother, you gotta snap out ofit.
Yeah eventually exactly, and soI want them to be there.
I, I want.
So that was one of the thingsfor us was we wanted our
daughters to be comfortable, uhbringing their friends home, uh
having, which meant we probablytolerated some things that other

(01:09:09):
people might not, but we feltlike we'd rather have them close
to us.
Same now, that's what I agreedoing things that other people
like well, you let her do that,you let them, yeah, because
they're gonna do it anyway.
It's gonna be somewhere else,yeah, where I'm not in a

(01:09:30):
position to be there for.
So I'll end on that one.

Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
No, I love it.
That's good, it's great, greatadvice.
If people want to connect withyou, they want to learn more
about if you've been, if you'veinspired them.
They want to learn about any ofthe work you're doing, maybe
the art you have, I'm not sureif you're on any social media.
If there's ways we can.

Speaker 1 (01:09:51):
I'm on Instagram and I'm on LinkedIn and I'm on
Facebook.
I'm not a TikToker, but I'm onthe other three that I just
named.

Speaker 2 (01:10:05):
Well, I'll get that.
When we're done recording, I'llmake sure it's tagged in the
show notes so people can checkout this episode's either there
or you can connect with you thatway, eric, it's now time to go,
and I say the lightning roundwhere I go completely random.
This is where I show you, showyou the negative hits of taking
too many hits in college notbong hits, but football hits.
And my job is to ask these.

(01:10:26):
Well, your job is to answerthese questions as quickly as
you can.
My job is to try to get agiggle out of you.
Okay, are you ready?
I'm ready.
Okay, true or false?
The last time you playedone-on-one with Dale, he beat
you 21-0.

Speaker 1 (01:10:42):
He beat me on the golf course.
You can't get me to playbasketball.
I'm trying to walk into my 80sGo ahead.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
Who would win in a speed walk racing?
You or Dale?
Probably him.
Okay, there you go, dale.
Oh boy, tell me the last bookyou read.

Speaker 1 (01:11:01):
Oh God, that's now.
I am a.
Let me see, I think I had likethe Steve Jobs book or something
like that.
Nothing recent I'm more of, orsomething like that.
Okay, nothing recent, I'm moreof a periodical guy.

Speaker 2 (01:11:15):
Okay, favorite movie of all time is oh man, Favorite
movie of all time.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
I'm a Star Wars guy.
Star Wars, I like stupid JohnWick action movies, the
Equalizer.
They would never win an award.
But I'm going to tell you no, Itake that the first Gladiator
was dope.
I love the first Gladiator.

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
If you were to meet any artist in the world, who
would you meet?

Speaker 1 (01:11:51):
Oh wow, meet any artists, let me see.
I would love to meet RomareBearden, my hero, al Loving my
friend's father.
I met him, man.
You know he was life changingfor me.
So if I could go back and bewith anybody, I'd go back and

(01:12:12):
hang out with him some more.

Speaker 2 (01:12:14):
Okay, if I was to go on your phone, what would be the
one song played that wouldsurprise your daughters?

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
Creep by Radiohead.

Speaker 2 (01:12:27):
Okay, all right.
If I came to your house fordinner tonight, tell me what
we'd have.

Speaker 1 (01:12:33):
For me a chicken and salad Healthy good protein.

Speaker 2 (01:12:39):
If you were to go on vacation right now, just you and
your wife, no kids, where arewe going?

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
Oh, my wife is going to be somewhere where ocean,
warm water, beach, wherever thatis in the world, that's her,
where she is.

Speaker 2 (01:12:53):
Okay, if there was to be a book written about your
life, tell me the title.

Speaker 1 (01:13:00):
Wow, cause we trying to write a book right now.
I have no idea Title.
I would just say believe youknow, overcome.
My story is about findingbelief in yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:13:15):
Love it.
Okay, now belief and overcome.
I love that title, it's, it's.
I've been telling my friendsabout it.
We're going to bookstores, butit's sold out.
I go to Amazon I can't get itonline.
I go to Barnes and Noble it'sout.
I go to the airport it's gone.
So Hollywood's found out aboutthis, eric.
They're going to make a movieand you are now the casting
director.
I need to know who's going tostar Eric Pryor in this
critically acclaimed, hit newmovie.

Speaker 1 (01:13:37):
Oh, god, who?
Let me see who could do itmaybe.
Uh, all those actors are toodamn short man, I just gotta be
it.
You know, I would say like amichael b jordan or somebody, or
, but they all little dudes, man, who's?
Who's a tall?
Uh, uh, the rock.
Maybe we could the rock duanejohnson maybe, maybe, maybe

(01:14:01):
maybe okay.

Speaker 2 (01:14:04):
And then last question tell me two words that
would describe your wife.
Uh, smart and beautiful.
Smart and beautiful, love it I.
I tend to laugh at my own silly, weird, random jokes that make
no sense, but I enjoy lightninground.
It's always fun to make peoplethink about things they haven't
thought about in a while.
But lightning round's over, uh,it's been an honor talking to
you now.
Your story is.
That's why I love going inwithout a script.

(01:14:26):
I have a script in my head butI don't have a script.
I don't like sending people ascript because I think it takes
away from the curiosity of theconversation.
But you've shared so much stuffthat made me think.
I hope it made people think.
Like I said, I have a full pageof notes, everybody at home.
I hope you do too.
If this episode has touched you, if you think of there's
someone out there, everybody athome, that you think could gain

(01:14:48):
from Eric's wisdom you you thinkcould have gained from from
Eric's wisdom you share with us,please text the episode to him,
share it to him.
And if you've not taken time toleave this review on either
Apple or Spotify or wherever youconsume your podcast, please do
that.
It's like the best gift.
It'll help keep us going.
I hope that one day, you know,maybe my son will take this over
from me when I'm like 85 andassist living facility he's.
He's taken over as the host ofquarterback dad cash.

(01:15:09):
You never know.
But I appreciate, eric.
It's great spending time withyou and hopefully we'll.
We'll be in the same foursomein the soul cup one year.
Perfect, I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:17):
I'm there.
Awesome, take it easy.