97. Healing, Soul Contracts, and the Power of Surrender with Kanika Vasudeva

Serena Low speaks with Kanika Vasudeva, a Radiant Empowerment Coach and Akashic Records Reader who helps spiritual entrepreneurs, leaders, and changemakers break through invisible ceilings and embody more — more radiance, more freedom, and more soul.

Kanika opens up about the personal tragedy that became the turning point in her journey — the stillbirth of her daughter — and how it awakened her to the vastness of life, the illusion of control, and the unconditional love of Spirit. Through her story, she shares how she learned to find peace, forgiveness, and purpose by connecting with her soul and understanding her soul contracts.

Together, Serena and Kanika explore how our deepest pain can become the portal to transformation, how to free ourselves from “good girl” conditioning, and why surrendering to the universal flow allows us to live with more authenticity, joy, and trust.

This episode is a reminder that healing isn’t about fixing what’s broken — it’s about coming home to who you truly are.

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Turning Pain into Awakening – Kanika shares how the loss of her daughter became her soul’s wake-up call and how pain, when faced with grace, becomes a teacher of light. 
• Soul Contracts & Akashic Records – What they are, how they influence our relationships and life experiences, and how understanding them helps us heal at the deepest level. 
• The “Good Girl” Conditioning – How cultural expectations to please and conform can keep women trapped in unhappiness, and what it means to choose your own happiness as an act of courage and love. 
• Healing Triggers and Inner Children – Why we get triggered by others, how every person in our life mirrors what needs to be healed, and how to reclaim lost energy by meeting our younger selves with compassion.
• The Power of Surrender – Letting go of control, trusting the universal flow, and allowing life to unfold with ease and alignment.
• Grounding Practice for Self-Love – Kanika guides listeners through a soothing earthing meditation to release heavy emotions and reconnect to unconditional love and safety.
    

Memorable Quotes

“Our first duty, our first karma, is to ourselves — to live our purpose and choose happiness.” — Kanika Vasudeva

“Healing begins when we stop blaming others and look within. Everyone in our life is a mirror showing us where we need to grow.” — Kanika Vasudeva

“The more we heal ourselves, the more energy and light we bring back into our lives.” — Kanika Vasudeva

Connect with Kanika Vasudeva

• Website:artoflifecenter.com
• Book a session: artoflifecenter.com/call
• Instagram / LinkedIn:@kanikaenergycoach

Connect with Serena Low

• Newsletter:The Visible Introvert
• Website:serenalow.com.au

If You Enjoyed This Episode

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This episode was edited by Aura House Productions

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Serena Lowe.
If you're used to hearing thatintroverts are shy, anxious,
antisocial, and lack goodcommunication and leadership
skills, then this podcast is foryou.
You're about to fall in lovewith a calm, introspective, and
profound person that you are.
Discover what's fun, unique, andpowerful about being an

(00:21):
introvert and how to make theelegant transition from quiet
achiever to quiet warrior inyour life and work, anytime you
want, in more ways than youimagined possible.
Welcome.
Hello and welcome.
My guest today is KanikaVasudeva, a radiant empowerment

(00:43):
coach and Akashic Records readerwho guides spiritual
entrepreneurs, leaders, andchange makers ready to embody
more, more radiance, morefreedom, more soul.
She helps her clients breakthrough invisible ceilings,
awaken their unique gifts, andstep into a new level of
clarity, self-trust, andauthentic leadership.

(01:06):
Through her work, clientsexperience joy in everyday
living, where inspired actionflows with ease, aligned
opportunities appear, and theirvoice and presence are finally
seen, heard, and valued, both intheir relationships and in their
field.
Welcome Kanika to the QuietWarrior Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
Thank you so much.
I'm so glad to be here, Serena.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29):
I'm so glad you're here too.
Let's start your story with thecareer pivot.
What were you before?
And what are you now?
And how did that happen?

SPEAKER_01 (01:44):
I was a project manager before.
So I'm an MBA by background, anengineer.
Um very, very left-brainedperson is how I grew up.
Decisions were really black andwhite.
In fact, I really remember oneof this feedback coming to me
from my managers as well.
He was like, Oh, you know, youalways have like the next step
planned.

(02:05):
That's how I worked.
And then I think somewhere I wasin my mid-30s, and I just wasn't
happy with life.
I had a son who was just alittle bit more than two years

(02:25):
old, and I was trying to makesense of all of this because I
was feeling as if my identitywas lost.
I didn't even quite know what Ihad lost because technically I
had everything there, and what Ididn't want, what I did want, I
somehow knew I wanted happiness,but even that wasn't super clear

(02:47):
to me.
Like what else did I want?
But I was just very unhappy, andthen I found out I was pregnant.
We discovered that I was goingto have a female baby, so I was
excited to have a daughter, butthat was also another layer

(03:07):
where I just started thinking,oh wow.
Because what was going on in myhead was that you know, she'll
grow up and look at me.
I'm unhappy when I'm at thisage.
What am I going to teach her?
What am I going to do?
How am I going to help her?
How is she going to be happy?

(03:28):
And so I was already carryingthat worry as also.
I was really planning for herarrival even then.
But this pregnancy was reallyhard because I was grappling
with my life, with how sad I wasfeeling, I was grappling with
the fact that she was coming,and it sort of seemed to be like

(03:52):
a situation where I felt it wasall doomed for disaster just
because of how I was feeling andhow I could not unpack my life,
then what was I going to give toanyone else?
Um, and then one day I woke upand I just had not felt any
movement inside me that night.

(04:15):
Um she was 31 weeks.
Um I went to the doctor and Ifound out that there was no
heartbeat.
So that meant giving birth to astillborn.
It was just a very hardexperience.
I remember being in the hospitaland I didn't want to have her

(04:37):
out.
They induced me three times andfinally they put me to sleep, so
they gave me morphine to sleepbecause the baby was sleeping
anyway.
And that's when the inductionworked and she could be out.
She was out so quickly afterthat.
But I was trying to hold on toher, trying to hold on in the

(04:59):
sense that I just did not wantit to be real.
But it was a very hard time, andfor the first time, I think very
gracefully as well, that thiswas a time when I could not run
away from pain.
You know, holding her was a veryphysical thing.
Coming back home, realizing thatjust a few days ago I was

(05:21):
pregnant, now I was notpregnant.
It's a very physicalrealization.
Your body is going through veryphysical changes because body
actually was still thinking thatI had delivered.
Um, and then you have thechoice, you have the other stuff
lying around in the house.
There are so many physicalreminders.
So this time I could not runaway from the pain.

(05:42):
And as terrible as it was in thebody, I'm very thankful that
that happened.
Because for the first time Icould not run away from the pain
and I had to face the pain.
I wanted to really connect withmy daughter, I wanted to get
answers.
How was she?
I wanted to say sorry, and Ireally wanted to connect with

(06:03):
her as a mom.
So I started diving into energyhealing.
I found my way into the AkashicRecords and tuning into the
Akashic Records as well, reallyunderstanding what happened.
And when I connected with herthe first time, I asked her, I'm
so sorry.
Um and she said, Well, you didnothing wrong.

(06:24):
And I was so surprised.
What do you mean I did nothingwrong?
And she's like, No, we had apact.
So before I had come on earth,before I'd incarnated, I had a
soul contract with her, and mycontract with her was that if I
was wasting my life, she wouldcome and wake me up.

(06:45):
So this is exactly what she'ddone.
This was the agreement.
Um, that took a big load awayfrom me in the sense that I
hadn't done something wrong, andthere were so many layers to it.
Um I started understanding, Ithink, for the first time of how
big life was.

(07:06):
I used to operate as kanika, asthe kanika in the body.
I used to be this controllingperson, you know, so project
manager trying to control,trying to control the outcome.
That was always there.
Whereas I think for the firsttime it became really clear that
life is a lot bigger than me.
And it's not just aboutday-to-day things and how we say

(07:28):
that, you know, death can happento any of us at any time.
It's not just that.
There is a universal flow.
And when we are trying tocontrol, we're basically just
pushing against a very big tide.
It's like the tsunamis, anyways,happening and we're trying to
control it.
There's just no point.
But the great thing is that theuniversal flow is connected to
abundance, it's connected tolight.

(07:50):
Whereas I felt I was a personwho'd done something wrong.
I came with so much guilt withthat.
Spiritually, there was nothingbut love for me.
There was love that, hey, youneed to wake up, you need to
have a better life, you don'tneed to have a sad life like
this.
There's more to your life,there's a bigger purpose, you
deserve to be happy.

(08:11):
It was me and the body who heldthe judgment, not the spirit,
not the consciousness.
So, with that connection, I'mforever grateful.
And I think for me, this isstill a graceful incident and a
blessing as well.
Because thank goodness thishappened.

(08:33):
Thank God I found my light.
And that's what I wish for thelisteners as well, that wherever
they feel that life is so hardfor them.
Life is actually trying to knockon the door and say, hey, let's
do something special.

SPEAKER_00 (08:52):
First of all, Karnika, thank you so much for
sharing and opening up somethingthat is so private in your world
and sharing it with all of uswho are listening.
I think no one who is hearingwhat you have just said can fail
to be moved and inspired by theway you handled this uh

(09:15):
unfolding, this situation, this,you know, what other people
would just say it's a tragedy,it's a terrible thing that's
happened.
And yet, through it all, eventhough it was so difficult for
you, you found peace through it.
Just looking at you on thescreen here, I see nothing but
radiance and peace.

(09:35):
That this is something uh thathas shaped you, something you
yourself say you're gratefulfor.
And I don't know many people whowould uh say who would use that
word for something that theyhave gone through that
represents grief and loss.
But I think that perhaps issomething we could go deeper

(09:57):
into too, because there will bepeople who have never heard of a
Kashik records or a soulcontract, who are not familiar
with those terms.
So can you give us some context,some background?
What what do these words mean?

SPEAKER_01 (10:12):
Yeah, sure.
But I'll just say I'm sothankful for all that you said,
but I wouldn't say I was alwayscourageous.
Not at all.
I was thinking so much at thetime that I will die, that
because life just felt so heavy.
Um, but but I made a listactually of all the people in my

(10:34):
life, and I put their names likemy mom, dad, family, and so on,
and I put their names and Isaid, Well, they will understand
that I'm dying because I justcannot handle this grief, it's
okay.
There was one little boy I couldnot do this to, and he was my
son.
He was just a little bit abovetwo years at the time, and that

(10:57):
was a grace as well.
Because as much as I wascontemplating going, I could not
do it because I was grieving theloss that I did not get my child
to hold and play with, and yethe was there, right there in
flesh and blood in front of me,and I just had to learn how to

(11:18):
play with him because he wouldsee me crying and he would give
me toys, two-year-old kid, andhe would just go, like, well,
take the toy and play, and Iwould still be crying in a pool
of tears, and I would hardlylook at him, and then he would
just give me another toy.
So eventually you look at thatand you go, Like, well, it is

(11:41):
innocent, it is so sweet, it isso naive, it is so loving, and
it is just how life is, how wetend to make it hard, and it's
actually easy and simple, andthat's what he was teaching me.
So I was really held, I wasn'tcourageous, but life was giving

(12:02):
me courage.
My son definitely was teachingme how to live at that time.
But yeah, moving on to soulcontracts, and I think that's a
very good segue here as well.
Soul contracts are contracts oragreements that we will have
with people in our lives beforewe incarnate.
And even that's probably jumpinga little bit ahead.

(12:24):
As a soul, the entire reason whywe incarnate is because we want
to have a human experience,because we also want to learn
and grow.
We want to live life and workthrough challenges in life,
because there's some taste thatwe want to have, we want to
evolve.

(12:45):
For example, maybe your soul hasexperienced love in some form.
Maybe it's experienced it atthat family level and you've
always been loved.
Then, as a soul, because youwant to almost do a thesis in
love, so you go, okay, well,what will happen if I get
cheated in love?
What happens if let's say daddies or something else happens,

(13:08):
and maybe if that's happened,okay, then what happens if let's
say your brother gets somebodyelse that you don't like, and
how will you love then?
It is just trying to have a veryfull experience, like it wants
to do a complete research, acomplete thesis in the subject
that it's interested in.

(13:29):
The human experience might bevery different.
We feel things in the body, butthe soul is wanting to learn and
evolve.
And for the soul, it's not goodor bad, soul is learning, and
that's why soul is actually justteaching us that hey, this is
the next step.
As much as it was grappling withmy daughter's loss, soul wasn't

(13:50):
trying to punish me.
It wasn't saying you've been badand you know we need to do
something.
It really wasn't doing that.
It was actually saying, hey,there's more expansion outside
waiting for you.
But what happens in the humanexperience is that we really are

(14:11):
disaligned from our innerpurpose a lot of times.
So we are looking at otherpeople.
We look at our family, we lookat our boss, we look at our
friends to feel how we feel, tofeel how we feel about us.
Do we feel good about us?
Do we feel we are good atloving?

(14:31):
Do we feel we have good skills?
We look at the outside world.
And soul wants us to understandour innate power, how much, how
full we are, how capable we are.
It wants us to see our ownlight, but we keep seeing
outside.
So, what it has to do, the onlyway it has then is to separate

(14:55):
us from that and the so-calledtraumas that we have, because it
wants us to separate from thereand look within and go, like,
hey, you actually have lightinside, will you not see it?
Because we continue seeing, wecontinue trying to look at the
other lights outside.
So hence we have soul contracts,and the soul contracts are made

(15:20):
so that a little bit like how Igave my example, so that as we
are working through life andwhatever we want to learn,
wherever we want to see our owninner light, these soul
contracts then guide us and takeus on that journey.
Now, sometimes soul contractscould be a little bit past time
contracts, they could be havingimpact from the past life

(15:41):
traumas, and we can heal thecontracts, we can bring them to
a relationship of harmony andlove.
Any soul contract can be healed,can be brought to present time,
you can make it how you feel.
But if you are experiencing arelationship with someone and
you feel that there is a lot oftrauma going on there, or your

(16:04):
words don't get heard the wayyou want them to, that
undercurrent is the soulcontract.
Now it doesn't mean it wasalways the divine way that it
was written.
There might have been some otherimpacts, like there might have
been some dirt, dust, you know,like when we don't clean our
house, our house gets a littlebit dirty.
We just have to clean it.

(16:24):
It's the same way with thesecontracts as well.
That when you clean them up,they actually clean up and you
see the result in the real life.

SPEAKER_00 (16:35):
I heard a few different things in there.
First of all, you said that wehumans have a tendency to look
outwards for verification, forvalidation.
Almost like we instead oflooking in the mirror and seeing
ourselves, we look at otherpeople as though they are the

(16:56):
mirror.
And they are telling us, theygive us back the feedback.
Am I a good enough person?
Am I enough?
Am I worthy?
And then we get our answers fromthem.
So of course they're all givingus different answers, right,
depending on who we ask.
So what you're saying is weshould be looking inwards
instead because we are alreadyenough.
And also because we are here tofulfill a higher purpose.

(17:19):
And each of us has got a uniquepurpose that we are meant to
fulfill.
So we shouldn't be looking atother people because they
wouldn't know, they would haveno clue as to what we are here
to do.
So each of us should actually betaking responsibility for the
thing that we are here to do andfocusing on doing that thing.

SPEAKER_02 (17:40):
Absolutely.
I think you summed it up reallywell.

SPEAKER_00 (17:47):
So moving from the idea of soul contracts and the
idea of a higher purpose and thepossibility of healing, what has
it been like when we grow up incertain cultural or you know,
societal norms that tell us wehave to be this way and not that

(18:12):
way?
A lot of us, you know, fromAsian backgrounds, we were
taught to be good girls.
And I know we had an extensivediscussion about this.
How has that shown up in yourlife and how has that affected
the way you made decisions andthe way you lived?

SPEAKER_01 (18:30):
Oh, that's such deep programming.
We feel that all that we aretaught that's taken as the
framework, you know?
It is the framework almost likewe get up in the morning, we
brush our teeth, we have ourfood, whatever the day routine
is, and then there comes a time,or probably even the first time,
you're not really questioningit, we're just doing it because

(18:52):
everybody does it.
And so similarly, are theseingrained values, perhaps, or
programs, conditions in thesociety, in the family that you
just do.
Sometimes you're not even told,but you just do.
And I can give you so manyexamples.
Like a lot of times for me, Iwas contemplating a lot before

(19:15):
moving out, before separatingfrom my husband.
I didn't have a happy marriage,and it was not really giving
either of us joy.
But A, it was separating, it wasbreaking up a marriage, and then
I had a little boy, and Iwondered for such a long time

(19:38):
that I was breaking his home,just the guilt, and especially
the Asian family upbringing.
That what are you doing to thechild?
Think about them.
It was a really hard decision.
But also that time I was doingthe energy healing work, so I
was pretty aware and I was ableto look at his place, um, see

(20:02):
him in the visions and see howit would be like, what his soul
would like, how it would grow ifwe had stayed together versus
how we he would grow if we didnot stay together.
And this option always seemedthe best.
But that's how the good girlsyndrome plays out, where we
want to be pleasing, we want todo the right thing.

(20:23):
But think about it.
If you are in an unhappymarriage, first let me not talk
about the child, let me justtalk about you, your purpose.
You came here for your highestpurpose, to fulfill that
purpose.
When we were born, we were notsomeone's daughter or son or
brother, sister, any relation,right?

(20:46):
We incarnated as the humanbeings, our first duty, our
first karma is to ourselves, tonobody else.
Because that is why we come in.
If we are putting someone else,some relationship above us,
you've given that thing a littlebit more, right?
Your duty first and foremost isto you.

(21:06):
So if you are going to live inan unhappy marriage or an
unhappy place, you're not doingyourself a favor, you are not
giving people and the very childthat you want to look after.
Um, you're thinking that youwill be together and it will be
better for the child.
But A, you're telling them thatif a situation comes tomorrow

(21:28):
and you have to choose betweenhappiness or something else,
choose the other thing becausethat is the good girl, good boy
thing to do.
So give them permission, giveyourself permission to be happy.
That is the path of your highestpurpose.
Give everyone around you thepermission to be happy and to
live life in their purpose.

(21:49):
And second, um, kids as theygrow up, they will always
understand in the air what'sreally happening.
Even if you're trying to hide,even if you're trying to pretend
for them that you know we aretogether and it'll be better for
the child, it won't be.

(22:11):
Because a child needs a goodhome, they need to be provided
for, they need to have a safehome, they also need to have a
home where their belief thatthey can do what they want to do
that is shown to them and thatis encouraged in them.
It's not just what you say, it'salso what you do, what you show

(22:33):
to your kids as well.
So show them, live a life theway that you would like your
kids to live it.

SPEAKER_00 (22:43):
So, what you've said is actually the opposite of what
we were taught that we have tostay together.
The family has to stay togetheras a unit for the sake of the
children.
But you are right becausechildren are very perceptive,
very intuitive, and they arewiser than we give them credit
for.
Just because they don't have thelanguage doesn't mean they don't
understand what's going on.

(23:04):
Everything is energy, so theycan sense the currents.
And then they know that, youknow, the parents are not happy
and there's something going on.
So you're right.
We do actually need to look atthis in a different way.
And and what you said aboutprioritizing the individual's
happiness, that again goesagainst a lot of the

(23:26):
conditioning and theprogramming.
The idea of putting others uhover ourselves, ahead of
ourselves, especially as thewoman, as the mother, you're
supposed to sacrifice for yourchildren, right?
Their needs come first.
What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 (23:45):
Yeah, and a great question.
Thanks for this.
Because, you know, when we aredisconnected, that's where the
first breakup of the wholeevolution starts.
We start feeling unhappy when weare disconnected from our inner
compass, from our innerguidance, and we start looking
at others for validation.
So we are effectively puttingthat power outside.

(24:07):
Now, the society template isactually then telling us, hey,
look at others and then look atthe other bigger group, look at
your family and what are youdoing in the family?
And again, it is separating you.
Now, if this was a good example,if this was a good template,
sorry, then if generally youlook at lives, I mean, most of

(24:31):
us we are told that you knowyou're younger, you study, you
go to school, and there is aplace where you go do a job, you
get married, or you have apartner, then you have kids
again.
We're almost all whatever ages,you know, that could be
different, but we're sort offollowing this pattern.
And if this pattern was okay,then a lot of us around 40s,

(24:51):
50s, because this is the exacttemplate that we ask everybody
to repeat, then we all should bea very happy generation by 40
and 50.
Because this is the templatethat we recommend over and over
again in all countries, allcultures.
So we've got to look at ourtemplate.

(25:13):
A template is wired again atseparating us from our innate
light.
There's a fear in here.
You know, there's a fear that,oh, if you deviate too much,
what will happen to the family?
If you deviate too much, youwill bring a change, and then we
don't know how to deal with thatbecause that's going to be
different.
Whereas when you start lookingat yourself inside, because that

(25:37):
time you're actually operatingfrom your truth and from the
divine guidance, that time youonly bring more light into the
world.
So it's only going to be moreloving, more harmonious, because
that is the vibration thatyou're bringing in and that
you're operating from.
It won't be anything but that.

(25:57):
And what will actually happen isthat the more light you bring
in, the whole family grouparound as well, you're giving
them permission to be more ofthemselves.
It's a lot walking away fromcontrol, but it's coming
together, not from force, butit's coming together because you

(26:18):
like the other person's light.
There's more permission here tobe you.

SPEAKER_00 (26:24):
I'm reminded of the difference between power and
force.
So, what you're saying is theway we've been taught comes from
a place of force, from ego, fromfear, from insecurities.
And the other path, the higherpath, would be permission to
speak your truth, unconditionallove, recognizing the light in

(26:48):
yourself, and recognizing thelight in others.
That is radically different.
And I can see how a lot ofpeople might struggle with the
idea that it is even possiblethat they can choose their own
happiness, they can givethemselves and their children

(27:09):
permission to speak their truth.
And because that means they'regiving up control, that means
they are allowing something thatthey have no idea what what's
gonna happen next, they can'tpredict.
And if you can't predict, thenthen what?

SPEAKER_01 (27:28):
There is so much distrust in there, right?
Yes, the real reason here isthat we cannot trust the other
person to be good.
But isn't that such a sad thing?
Like, doesn't that tell youabout human state anyway?
That the reason why we act or wehave systems like this where we
you know on the face of it, itsays, Well, we should be

(27:51):
together for the family, right?
That's a facade because insidethat there is distrust, it's
like, oh, if you do somethingelse, first of all, I'm going to
get shaken up, my world's goingto be different, and then I
don't trust you.
So it's just wrapped up in afacade of love, but it's not
really love.

(28:11):
Love is not that.
Love is unconditional love, iswhen you can let the other
person be who they are and youaccept them for who they are.
So you're not judging them, youare not evaluating them, you are
not controlling things for them,but you are allowing them to be.

(28:34):
It is actually very prosperousbecause it takes all that extra
control, it takes all that extraresponsibility away from you.
You know how beautiful it is.
If everybody could just go on,mind their business, and do
their own things, we would notneed governments to rule.
We would not need to controlpeople because we just don't

(28:56):
need to observe them.
There's actually not going to beas much bureaucracy if that
happens.
So the reason why all of thisis, and we are going into the
conversation around 3D matrixand the 5D consciousness, 3D
matrix is very much aroundcontrol.
That is what we are all pluggedinto.

(29:18):
This matrix very much is awin-lose.
That if you win, if you get yourway, that means I am losing
something.
It's wired to scarcity.
But what if it wasn't the case?
What if you unplugged fromthere?
What if my happiness, becauseI'm not, well, my happiness or
anyone else's light, by the way,only triggers someone else if

(29:42):
it's not suiting their agenda.

SPEAKER_00 (29:48):
That makes a lot of sense, yes.

SPEAKER_01 (29:52):
So it's just not rational enough to say that I
should dim my light becausesomebody else is.
Agenda is not met.
Like, come on.
But that is effectively what allof us do with our kids, with our
partners.
That's how we operate out of.
We are just scared to see theirlight.

(30:15):
And I would just innovate thethought that maybe, and the
numerous examples today as well,of people who are light workers,
of people who are speaking theirtruth, they shape the world
better.
Like look at people around youwhere you feel like, oh my god,
this person was so radical andthey outspoke and they did

(30:36):
something.
At the beginning, they're allthe odd ones.
I'll give you a couple ofexamples.
Like Albert Einstein, a longtime ago, when he did the theory
of relativity, and a lot ofscientists, by the way, whenever
they said something, you know,the first person who would have
said that the earth is not flat,that person would have been
really laughed at.

(30:56):
All the great scientists, theygot laughed at.
But are we better off or are weworse off because of these
people?
In general, they spoke theirtruth, and because they spoke
their truth, the world is in abetter place.
When you are really working withyour inner light, with your

(31:17):
guidance, you create a spark,you bring something else in the
world.
If we were all oranges, theworld would just have oranges.
Thank goodness for the applesand the peaches and the grapes
and the cherries and so on.
Steve Jobs, I think of him a lotbecause he was a dyslexic, so he
really thought differently.

(31:38):
And the world labeled him, orhis teachers, his parents would
have been told that he is alittle bit off from the other
people around him.
But what we as humans label asweakness is such a blessing to
humanity, isn't it?

(31:59):
Because it was so good that hewas dyslexic.
Because of that, he had troubledoing lots of complex things at
the same time and workingthrough so many things.
So he wanted to have simplerworlds and he gave us simpler
Macs, he gave us simpleroperating systems, he gave us
simpler smartphones, whichrevolutionized then just how you

(32:20):
and I we work with our phones.
But he was different, and hisdifferent brought so much joy to
the world, but so muchadvancement.
So thank goodness for all thedifferent people.
Thank goodness for all thepeople who just dare to be

(32:41):
different.
Because yes, it's hard, theworld's wired to control you
because it feels wrong, becauseI because it might feel that
somebody else's comfort zone isnot comfortable anymore because
one person is changing.
I think we should change thestance and we should go, well,
I'll adjust.

(33:02):
You want to change.
It's actually my problem thatI'm not comfortable with it
anymore.
I need to deal with it.

SPEAKER_00 (33:08):
That is a different level of self-awareness
altogether, because usually whensomebody else's change makes us
uncomfortable, we then think,oh, I'm gonna get left behind,
or I don't agree with thisperson anymore.
It's gonna affect ourfriendship.
Maybe if it's a family member,then you know it's it puts a
strain on family relations.

(33:30):
They become that weird, youknow, uncle or auntie who
doesn't quite fit in in atfamily gatherings, and maybe
people might whisper about thembehind their back and tell the
children, don't be like thatperson when you grow up, you
know, those those sorts ofsubtle um little hints that it's
safer to conform, it's safer tobelong to the majority.

(33:51):
So, in that context, then whensomeone in our circle changes, a
friend, a family member, a lovedone, and we don't feel
comfortable with that change,how should we respond?

SPEAKER_01 (34:06):
That's the question.
And I can tell you, I was alwaysthe odd one out in my family.
Um now I know it from a muchbigger perspective, but I was
always the person, even as ayoung kid, you know, um, I was
always the person my familyloved drinking tea, and I tried
drinking tea just as thesmallest, weirdest example, but

(34:30):
I just did not like it.
Till date, I don't like it.
I'm always the coffee person,and the you know, I'm the coffee
person, they're the tea people.
There's just so many examples,even as a little child growing
up, where my family was one way,the simplest of things, and then
the bigger of things as well.
And I was always this otherperson, and I would think so

(34:52):
many times, gosh, there'ssomething wrong with me because
I don't fit in here.
Um, and I used to feel guiltyfor a long time for being this
way in my family.
Not that my family didn't loveme, but I could always see that

(35:13):
I was stretching them.
You know, they could stretch,let's say, till 10, I would
stretch them till 20.
And then once they'd stretchtill 20, I would stretch them
till a 40, and then so on.
So I never gave them a break.
I think I still do, but nowthey're just like, okay, this
one is fine, and she will justdo her thing.

(35:35):
But this is what happens thatwhen you allow that growth to
happen, at some level, youexpand because you've seen
someone else.
You know, what are we all doingin life?
So, yes, we all come in, we allhave our soul purpose, we are
living that.

(35:55):
But when we have our kids, orwhen we are observing people
around us, this is how the soulis learning as well.
We are observing another life inaction.
So it's our chance to grow fromjust observing them and just
seeing the decisions that theymake and what they do.
So think about it, they're doingthings, and maybe it scares you

(36:17):
to go out and be on the stage ordo an audition for a um choir or
whatever.
But somebody else is doing it,and you just get to have the
experience just by watchingthem.
That is so much evolution forthe soul.
I think what the loved ones cando here with all the odd walls

(36:39):
is that they start workingwithin themselves what is it
that is really triggering them?
Because this is the other truth.
Everybody in life is a mirror toyou, even the oddballs, they are

(36:59):
a mirror to you, and so I alwaysthink my parents, they really
needed somebody who would showthem a lot of things, and I've
helped them their growth.
But everybody is a mirror,everybody is showing you
opportunities where you need togrow.
We will often get in arelationship, and you know, it

(37:22):
might be the first few years orhowever long we say the
honeymoon period lasts, and thenvery soon we feel ah, now it's
out of the way, and now we'refeeling triggered.
But you know what?
Triggering is built into thesystem because that is the way
of evolution, because what theother person is doing is just
showing you that hey, this iswhere I need to show you that

(37:44):
you need to be healed.
Maybe the other person will usethe truth space in a different
way than you're used to, keepthe dishes in a different manner
than you used to, or speakloudly, or do things differently
than you are used to, becausethey're showing you either your
perfectionist archetype orthey're showing you your
child-wounded parts, but they'reshowing you things where you

(38:08):
need to evolve.
So when you see someone else andyou get really triggered by
them, actually ask what is itthat is triggering you inside?
Because what is the thing insideyou that needs to be healed?
Where are you feeling a littlebit less than because you see
that person in their light?

SPEAKER_00 (38:35):
I think those are very powerful reflections,
Kanika.
Because most people think whenthey get triggered, it's the
other person's fault.
It's because they are different,it's because they spoke with a
certain tone or they reminded usof something traumatic we've
been through before.
So you're saying that even if itwas a reminder of past trauma,

(38:59):
it could still be something morethan that.
It's not that that person istrying to make us suffer again,
it's more that it's like a acosmic reminder to look at our
own uh healing because healinghas no timeline.
It's different for each person.
And you know you are healed whenyou are no longer triggered by

(39:19):
the same thing.
So that's telling us, like youknow, you said earlier on when
our spaces are cluttered andneed cleaning up, the same
thing, the same kind of processhappens.
So we need to do that owninternal clearing.
We need to look inside ourselvesand be very honest.
So this thing triggers mebecause it reminds me of

(39:39):
something, something thathappened before, which means
that because it's still comingup, I haven't been healed yet, I
need to work on this area.
So that's how that's how getprompted to grow.

SPEAKER_01 (39:52):
Yeah, yeah.
Like if I look at my life and ifI look at my relationships, I
can tell you about the partnersthat I've had, and I can
actually tell you about theproblems with them.
That they were wrong, thisperson did this, and I will
convince you that I was theright person, they were the
wrong person.
Yet the fact remains that I wasthe common person between all

(40:14):
those relationships.
So there was definitelysomething inside me that needed
healing.
And I've also seen that wheneverI've healed myself of a pattern,
then the person, the friend thatI've attracted, they're
radically different as well.
So everybody around you isactually a walking manual to

(40:36):
tell you, oh, this is where youneed to be healed inside.
Because where they aretriggering you, if their
loudness triggers you, if theway they dress up triggers you,
that is a reminder that youwanted to be loud somewhere, or
you feel that you are quieteningyour voice somewhere, you want
to be loud.

(40:56):
So go ahead and actually look inyour meditations, talk to this
part which gets really annoyedwhen somebody else is loud.
And maybe that little part willsay, Well, I want to sing and I
want to do this, or maybe thatlittle part will say, Well, I
just need to write whatevertheir emotion is, they want to
do that.

(41:17):
Allow your inner child toexpress, and you will feel that
their loudness will not triggeryou the next time because you've
healed yourself inside.
The inside part of you, whichwanted validation, which wanted
to be heard, which wanted to beseen, once you've done that,
that part gets healed.

(41:38):
If I can maybe just explain thatin a little bit more detail,
what happens is, and I'll justtalk about this lifetime, I'm
not going to past lifetimes, butas we are growing up, um, maybe
you know I did something wrongand my mom stopped me and said,
Hish, don't do that.
And yes, I got quiet on thesurface, but there's this little

(41:59):
girl who wanted to make thatnoise.
So what happens is that my soulfragment fragments there, a
little bit of my energy staysthere because I still wanted to
make the noise, I still wantedto dance, I still wanted to play
play loud music, and I wanted todo that, but that energy gets
scattered there.
And so that's why when somebodyelse is loud later on, I don't

(42:22):
really remember cognitively thatthis was the trigger, but I
think, oh, I don't like theloudness.
But if I take the time and goinside me, then I can meet that
little girl.
And when I heal her, the otheradvantage is that that energy
that I have from that time, Ican bring that back into me

(42:45):
right now, into the here andnow.
And so when we start feelingtired as we grow older, or we
feel like I just don't have theenergy anymore to follow my
passions and so on, the more weheal, the more our energy starts
coming back to us because werelease the energy where we have
locked it.
So all the people, all yourtriggers, they're actually

(43:07):
showing you that hey, go healyourself here, bring your energy
from there.
Then at a soul perspective,they're not trying to annoy you,
they're really loving you.
But in a body level, wesometimes feel that everything
around us has to be loving.

(43:28):
And I think I muse about thiscertain sometimes, and I just
you know think uh in mymeditations, but if only humans
could listen to the lessons ortheir learnings when it is done
in a loving manner, when you'renot triggered, we often don't.
We often repeat the patternsagain and again and again.

(43:52):
We might think that we are verysmart, but I feel sometimes that
we get in our own way.
At least for myself and for alot of my clients, I see that we
repeat the patterns till one daywe finally go, okay, my pattern
is that I get wounded by people,or there are people who just

(44:15):
stab me in the back and let meheal that now and let me have a
look at what's really going on.
But before that, they allow alot of people to stab them
rather than healing the firsttime.

SPEAKER_00 (44:29):
It sounds to me like it takes humility, it takes
honesty, it takes courage to godown the path of healing.
Because that means I amsurrendering this old identity
that is very attached to, oh,I'm the victim, they are wrong,
I'm right, you know, andtherefore I keep playing out

(44:52):
those patterns because they aresafe, they're familiar, I know
how the pattern goes, I knowwhat comes next, and so I have
control.
But if I'm going to let go ofthis peace, if I'm going to find
true healing, if I'm going tosay, all right, I'm done with
this pattern, I'm going torelease it now, I'm going to
allow myself to heal or to lookat life differently, that means

(45:14):
I have to be willing to stepinto that unknown between, you
know, the before and the afterversion of me.
In between, there's going to bea version that's not quite sure
and not not very solid yet.
And because it took me so manydecades to get myself to this
place, I don't want to gothrough that kind of
transformation again becauseit's painful.

(45:35):
It's like going through thewilderness with no roadmap, no
signpost, don't know if there'sa pit ahead that I'm going to
fall into and nobody to guide methrough it.
So would you say that part ofyour work is also guiding your
clients as they walk thattransition, as they navigate
that difficult transitionbetween the old identity and the
new self?

SPEAKER_01 (45:57):
Oh, yeah, it always is.
And we always resist thatbecause it's hard, you know, it
is easier to blame outside.
Um, and then you start lookingin and you go, like, okay, this
was my pattern, this was mywiring, this was my
conditioning.
It becomes me, me, me.
You know, it's easier to saysomebody else is to blame when
you realize it's your fault,it's harder.

(46:20):
But yes, that does become thejob of a coach.
And this is where I think alsothe Akashic records and healing
that really helps.
So we didn't talk about theAkashic records earlier, but
they are this mystical library,like up in the air, you know,

(46:42):
just above the earth, hanging inthe atmosphere.
And there's this mysticallibrary which contains all the
information about us.
It contains information aboutthis lifetime, it contains
information about previouslifetimes, about all our
connections and everything.
But when you start working thereand when you look at things
there, then you understand amuch bigger picture.

(47:03):
Not just from this lifetime.
So maybe you are having a fightwith your partner about a toilet
seat, or it's something moreserious than that.
But you understand why you'rehaving that fight, you
understand the deeper reason ofthe fight, you understand the
trust there, you understand thethings at play there at a much
deeper level, why thatconversation is happening, why

(47:26):
that is triggering you.
And then you can also unravelall that and you can make it a
much healthier connection.
Um, so that when you arespeaking, it's a lot clearer
your message gets seen andheard.
Because in the soul terms, orwhen you are going back to your
soul blueprint, then that is alldivine.

(47:48):
It does not have to operate fromthat control place.
That really operates from loveand harmony.
So the more you heal yourselfand you heal the other person,
or you when you're showing,you're talking to them, then in
the healing, you can have theirspirit come and see that at a
very spiritual level as well,without having to do things
physically.
But what I'm trying to say hereis that when you tune into the

(48:13):
Akashic records, things can bedone a lot quicker because
you're getting to the root ofthe issue quicker.
So, yes, at the end of the day,there is still the inner child,
there's still the shadow part,you will need to face it.
But the things that make itharder, they are gone.

(48:33):
You know, think of it like aconnection and or think of it
like the seed of the issue, andthen around the seed is all that
mold that actually causes thewhole pain.
Like sometimes when doctors takeout, um, let's say um, you know,
you've had a cut and then it'shad an infection.

(48:53):
Um when they're taking out theinfection, it's the infection
that causes more of the pain.
So it is not just the root ofthe issue, but the stories that
have been formed around theissue that actually cause you
the pain.
But when you use a healingmodality like this, you actually
clean away all the mold aroundit.

(49:14):
So then you're just dealing withthe seed, and then it's a lot
less painful because you don'thave to always go into the
emotions as deeply, feeleverything as deeply, because
you're just looking at the seedand taking that out.
And it's as simple as looking atthe old seed, which would be
your old belief.
For example, that I amunlovable.

(49:36):
That could be an old belief, andthen you put the new belief that
I'm lovable as I am, and it'salmost when you're doing it in
the trans state, it's just liketaking the old seed out, putting
the new seed in.
It's like being operated with umor under um what do you call the
thing where they're anesthesia,yes, thank you.

(49:59):
As if you were operating underanesthesia.
It does not feel that hardbecause by the time you've come
out of it, you've already gotthe new seed in there.
You've got the new belief, andeverything else around it has
been fixed up.
Um, it's like it's beenrenovated, it's all fixed up,
and it feels much better in thebody.

SPEAKER_00 (50:18):
You've explained it very well.
I think um that's why we talkabout healing happening in
layers, because there are allthese layers that we've

accumulated (50:26):
the stories, the beliefs, the assumptions, the
biases, and other people'sopinions and so on, and old
memories as well.
And those so those form many,many layers that actually need
to be removed.
And the removal itself, yes, itis painful, but it is a
necessary part of the healing.
So, what is one final thing,Kanika, that you would like

(50:48):
listeners to take away from ourconversation today?

SPEAKER_01 (50:53):
Okay, if I may, I'll just tune into the group and
I'll just see what is it thatthe group would like us to
answer.
Something that we haven'tcovered so far.

SPEAKER_02 (51:03):
So I'm just tuning into the group consciousness and
seeing what comes up.

SPEAKER_01 (51:11):
Okay, the question here is just more around
self-love.
So we've talked a lot around oh,we are separated, and that
results in the disconnection andthe overall feeling of um of
frustration or unhappiness thatwe might feel.
But how do we then get to theplace of self-love and where do

(51:32):
we start?
And what I'll do here is I'lljust leave everyone with a
little hack of how you can startfeeling peaceful no matter
what's going with you.
And now, before I start this, Iwant you to think of perhaps the
kettle in your kitchen or anyother electrical appliance.

(51:55):
Every electrical appliance hasan earthing wire.
The purpose of the earthing wireis that it takes away the excess
negative charge.
So let's say the kettle gets afault and you touch it, you will
not feel that.
That's why the earthing wire isthere.
But as humans, we walk aroundand we might have a negative

(52:17):
experience, but we don't alwaysknow how to discharge it.
At a logical level, we knowwe've got to let go, we've got
to move on.
And that is why a lot of us alsotry to jump away from pain and
go, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'mokay, I'm okay with it.
But we haven't really done theremoving bit because we don't
even know how.
So, this earthing hack that I'mgoing to give you called

(52:40):
grounding as well, a lot oftimes, it's just that.
It allows you to connect withthe earth and just start
releasing.
So, when you can, when it issafe for you, then just imagine
that you are sitting, standing,however you feel comfortable,
even if you're lying down inbed, that's okay.

(53:01):
Just get comfortable and thenjust imagine that from the lower
part of your body, maybe let'ssay belly and then downwards.
Just imagine there is like thisbig tunnel that goes all the way
to the center of the earth,right to the heart of Mother
Earth, and it connects youthere.

(53:23):
Maybe this is like a playgroundslide.
It's that tunnel that connectsyou to the head center of the
earth.
And so this is a big slide, orthis is a big tunnel.
And so whatever you are feelingheavy with, whatever heavy

(53:44):
emotions you've got, you canimagine that they're all
starting to get drained away.
And maybe you have some peoplethat really cloud your judgment
at this time.
Somebody's voice is ringing inyour head.
You have some worries, you havesome troubles.

(54:08):
Imagine picking them up withyour hand and just humor
yourself and just put that intothe tunnel.
Imagine it all going away fromyour space and just breathe.
Just breathe.
Just release, just breathe.
Especially whatever is heavythat is going on for you.

(54:30):
Just collect all the heaviness,collect all the pain.
Imagine it's all going away fromthe channel.
And then release.
Mother Earth will do the job.
She's got a good gravitationalpull, she'll just take all of
that away.
And now here's the beautifulthing that Mother Earth looks
after all of us, and she's gotunconditional love for you.

(54:55):
Unconditional love,unconditional support, and a lot
of joy in her heart to see you.
So there's this beautiful greenemerald energy that is coming up
from her heart and then startingto flow inside you.

(55:16):
Just invite this green energy,just invite this love inside
you.
Let it go in your body, expandeverywhere.
Fill your heart with love.

SPEAKER_02 (55:32):
Because you treasured, you loved as you are.
Nothing for you to do.
You are lovable, right as youare.

SPEAKER_01 (55:50):
And so when you feel properly filled up, then you can
open your eyes.
And whenever you feel likehaving a little top-up for your
energy, this is a good hack togo back to.

SPEAKER_00 (56:03):
I loved that.
I could feel myself yawning andrelaxing.

SPEAKER_01 (56:09):
That's a good thing.
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (56:10):
Yeah, because you're releasing, you're just letting
go of the tiredness.
It reminds me of two movies I'veseen.
One is called My NeighborTotoro.
It's a studio Ghibli movie.
And the other one is Moana.
That idea of Mother Earth andthat energy that is transformed

(56:31):
or transmuted from that anger,the hurt, the resentment, the
betrayal into unconditional lovebecause it's been healed.
So it's able to reveal itsoriginal self, what it's meant
to be like.
So thank you for that verypowerful grounding exercise,
Kanika.
So, what is the best way forpeople to connect with you, to

(56:53):
work with you?

SPEAKER_01 (56:54):
People can find me at Kanika Energy Coach,
K-A-N-I-K-A, Kanika EnergyCoach, on Instagram or LinkedIn,
or they can also find me on mywebsite, artoflifecenter.com.
And if you're going throughsomething, book a call with me,
like book a little chat so thatwe can understand what's really
going on underneath the surface.

(57:15):
What is the energetic layer toit?
What is the pattern?
What is the wiring?
What is the karma that's keepingall of that together?
And then we can work the nextsteps out.
And that call can be booked atArtoflifecenter, C E N T E R dot
com slash call.
And I'll see you soon.

SPEAKER_00 (57:34):
Beautiful.
I'll make sure to have that inthe show notes for everyone.
So thank you so much, Kanika,for sharing your time and your
wisdom with us today.

SPEAKER_01 (57:44):
Thank you so much, Serena.
You've got a lovely way ofexplaining everything.
And I just loved your deep,insightful questions.

SPEAKER_00 (57:52):
Thank you.
If you enjoyed today's episode,be sure to leave a five-star
rating and review to help theQuiet Warrior Podcast reach more
introverts and quiet achieversaround the world.
And to get the most currentresources on how to thrive as an
introvert, make sure you'resubscribed to the Visible
Introvert Newsletter atserenaloe.com.au.

(58:13):
See you on the next episode.
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(58:33):
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