May 15, 2024 • 13 mins
On today's episode of The Raediant Life Podcast, your host Rae shares about how to start something new with ease. We've all been a beginner (and might still be) and that's okay! Tune in to receive:
- An understanding of learning curve consciousness and how this can have a positive impact on our mindset
- How to recognize the valley of despair/bridge of hope when you're starting something new
- What to do and how to embrace imperfection
- Reduce self-criticism with this fun game I like to play
- Learn to overcome fear and self-doubt when entering into new phases of life
Resources:
- Learning Curve Consciousness
- The Valley of Despair and Bridge of Hope
Upcoming Classes + Events:
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- (7/26) Use Code RACHEL10 | The OM Festival Vermont
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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing any emotional distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Radiant Life Podcast.
I'm your host, rae, the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
you in healing your past, livingin the present and creating
your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
embodied and happiest version ofyourself.
Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about
(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
If you're interested inbecoming the best version of
yourself so that you can livethe life of your dreams, then
you're in the right place.
Subscribe to the podcast andthe monthly newsletter and
follow me on Instagram andTikTok to know when new episodes
are released each week.
I am so happy that you'velanded here.
(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach and
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
For today's topic, I wanted totalk about how, when we start
(01:07):
something new, it can be reallyhard for us.
It can be really confrontingfor us, and so how we can learn
something new and startsomething new with ease.
How we can be more gentle withourselves, how we can be more
self-compassionate, and so thiscould look like maybe you're
transitioning to a new job,maybe you're in a new
(01:28):
relationship, maybe you'relooking to start your own
business anything where youmight be doing something new
that you've never done beforeand what can we do when that
happens to make ourselves feelokay in learning something new?
That can be really confrontingfor us.
So that's what today's episodeis all about.
(01:50):
If you are starting somethingnew, there are definitely a lot
of challenges that you mightencounter, so you might feel
fearful of the uncertainty andthe unknown of starting this new
project and not knowing whereit's going to go.
You might feel like you don'thave like the skill set or the
(02:11):
knowledge yet as much as youwould like to, because it's new.
You might feel like there'ssome self-doubt that's present
some perfectionism.
You might also feel a littlebit isolated or lonely if it's a
new job and you still haven'tmade connections, or you're
starting your own business andnobody in your family or none of
(02:34):
your friends have had their ownbusiness before.
Or maybe you're in a newrelationship and you want things
to go really well, so you mightfeel a little bit isolated
because maybe you're not talkingto your friends about it as
much because it's new.
So those are definitely somechallenges that you might
encounter, and we're going tochat a little bit about how we
(02:54):
can move through all of thesechallenges with a little bit
more ease and awareness.
So one thing I always like topoint out when I'm working with
a client who is coming to me andmight be experiencing some of
these kind of growing pains, iswhat I like to say is the idea
of learning curve consciousness.
So this is the idea that asmore time goes on, the more
(03:20):
competent we become.
So if you even google it,you'll see there are images for
it.
I can link one in the shownotes as well, and it will.
It really highlights thedifferent stages that you move
through as you're learning, andI think this gets overlooked
because we want to just befurther along sometimes than we
(03:40):
can be, which understandably so,but what that does is it kind
of can exasperate some anxietyrather than just like being
exactly where we are.
So the first stage of learningcurve consciousness is
unconscious incompetence.
So this is when we don't knowhow to do something.
We're not really aware of ifwe're like good or bad at it,
(04:04):
but we're new, right, we juststarted, so we're not even
conscious of what we're good ator what we're not great at.
And then we move on to stagetwo, which is conscious
incompetence.
So now enough time has passedwhere we know a little bit about
the skills, we've gained alittle bit of experience that
we've improved in some way, butwe know that maybe in another
(04:27):
area we're not quite there yet.
And then we have consciouscompetence.
So this is where we've gottenall the skills, like enough time
has passed that we'reperforming well.
We may have, you know, passedsome sort of like exam even, or
taken a certification orsomething, and we're kind of on
(04:49):
the other side of the I don'tknow part.
We're not completely there, butwe have more conscious
awareness and more confidence inthe area that we're working
with.
And then the fourth stage isunconscious competence.
So this is kind of like you'vebeen enough time has passed,
you've been working on this taskor in this role long enough
(05:13):
that you can do it in your sleep, so to speak, like you're in a
flow state.
That doesn't mean thateverything is perfect by any
means.
I don't think in any of thesestages we're not striving for
perfection, but it's just likeriding a bike you learned how to
ride a bike and now you can doit without even thinking about
it because it's unconsciouscompetence.
So just naming these fourstages learning curve,
(05:36):
consciousness it's definitelyhelpful to name them and just
kind of know, okay, like rightnow I'm in stage two, like I've
been at my job for a few weeks,but I know in six months I'll be
at stage three, like whateverit might look like for you, but
I think it's helpful to name it.
And then another image that I'dlove to share with you and I'll
(05:57):
also link this one in the shownotes is called the Valley of
Despair, and in this articlesomeone has transformed that
terminology into the Bridge ofHope, which I like.
It's more of like a positivemindset, like growth mindset
name.
So we're going to run with that.
(06:17):
It's called the bridge of hopeand in this image it shows that
when you're moving through atransition or a change, you
might move through some fears,some guilt.
You might end up in what'scalled the valley of despair,
which is like oh wow, this is alot harder than I thought it
would be.
And then when you move overthat phase, you move into
(06:38):
gradual acceptance.
You move into like a movingforward mindset, acceptance,
optimism and growth.
And so this image of thatjourney, of how it's not
necessarily like linear, it'snot just like you started and
then you felt great.
You know like sometimes we haveto go through this phase of
(06:58):
what's called the bridge of hope, so I'll also link this one in
the show notes I think it'sreally helpful to name knowing
that when we're startingsomething new, sometimes it's
just not going to be easy.
We might run into somechallenges, and that that's okay
.
And then the third thing that Iwill mention, when it comes to
learning or starting somethingnew, feeling more at ease is
(07:22):
allowing ourselves to beimperfect.
So perfectionism and feelinglike we need to have all the
answers will definitely makesomething less enjoyable and
will also stop us, you know,dead in our tracks because we
don't necessarily have all theanswers yet.
And if we're trying really hardto know all of the things and
we don't, it can not feel sogreat.
(07:44):
So what's been really helpfulfor perfectionism for myself and
also for my clients, is innerchild healing.
Inner child healing is thisconcept of working with a part
of yourself that's anywhere fromzero to 14 years old and this
part of yourself had a livedexperience and now, as your
(08:05):
adult self, it can come throughand be running the show.
So there's this underlying needfor either safety, love,
belonging, acceptance, whateverit might be, and then that need
ends up running the show.
So this is something for methat I really had to take head
(08:27):
on when I started my businessbecause I was new, right.
Sometimes I still feel new andI'm in like year two or three or
whatever year it is so reallyallowing yourself to take messy
action, to take risks, and doingit from a place that feels
really safe.
Because when you connect withthat inner child that feels the
(08:48):
struggles of perfectionism andhaving things needing to look
sound or be a certain way beforethey take action, needing to
look sound or be a certain waybefore they take action, that
can feel really scary.
I know for myself, myperfectionism was from being a
competitive athlete, so Ireceived a lot of recognition
and a lot of love from how Iperformed.
But if I'm not performing andI'm not receiving love, then
(09:10):
there's this part of me thatfelt really scared and like
what's going on, right?
So I did a lot of inner work todiscover that and it's
definitely created a lot oftransformation in my personal
life, and I see it in my clientslives too.
Like I definitely work withpeople that are building their
own businesses, that arestarting new jobs, new
relationships, and perfectionismgets in the way of fun, right?
(09:32):
So when we're learning somethingnew, allow yourself to be
imperfect, allow yourself totake messy action, connect with
your inner child and be moreself-compassionate with yourself
.
And then the fourth thing thatI'll mention for learning
something new with ease is ifyou're being really hard on
yourself, like you are, like Ishould be further along than I
(09:55):
am I should be, you know.
Like I should be further alongthan I am I should be, you know
I should know this already.
Like I should have it allfigured out by now.
Make it a game, like play thisgame with me, even if it's just
for one week.
For one week, just make it agame and say that, wherever
you're at like, whateverprogress you've made, how,
whatever you're being hard onyourself for for one week, say
(10:17):
that it doesn't matter.
Whatever this thing is thatyou're hard on yourself for, be
like for this one week, itdoesn't matter.
It doesn't matter that I'm, youknow, not as far along in my
job as I'd like to be, or itdoesn't matter that I didn't get
as many views on the reel thatI wanted, like whatever.
The thing is that you are beingreally, really hard on yourself
(10:39):
for for one week.
Play this game with me and sayI'm going to let go for one week
of this thing that I'm reallybeing hard on myself for and let
it be fun, let it make it agame, let it be entertaining for
yourself and notice the shiftsafter that one week, if you can
really do it.
Notice what letting go of thatthing did for you.
(11:01):
And then the last thing that Iwill share with you, when it
comes to learning something new,feeling more at ease, feeling
more embodied, is that when westop growing, it's because we've
stopped learning.
When we stop growing, it'sbecause we've stopped learning.
So it doesn't matter if it isday one and you've started
something completely brand new,or if you are on year 10 and
(11:23):
you're striving for somethingmore.
If we've stopped growing andwe've stopped moving through
these learning curve,consciousness, the valley of
despair, the bridge of hope,allowing ourselves to be
imperfect, inner child, healingand playing the game of that,
whatever that thing we'reharping on ourself doesn't
matter for one week, all ofthose growing pains, it's
(11:45):
because we've stopped learning,we've stopped growing right.
So, knowing that, in whateverarea it is that you are looking
to make strides in, it's becauseyou're growing, it's because
you're learning Like you aretaking the initiative of trying
something new.
And when we try something new,sometimes we're not the best at
(12:06):
it in the beginning, but overtime we become confident in it,
we become efficient in it, andthen we start striving for
something else.
Right, we start wanting maybeit's still in the same field or
the same area or the same jobbut then maybe we start striving
for a promotion and then fromthere, maybe we feel like we
want more, from there.
(12:26):
You know, whatever it mightlook like, if you are learning
something new and you're beingreally hard on yourself, come
back to this episode.
Move through all of these steps.
Look at learning curve,consciousness, look at the
bridge of hope, allow yourselfto take messy action, allow
yourself to be imperfect,connect with your inner child
(12:47):
and play the game All right.
So that is what I have for youfor today's episode.
I enjoyed making this one, hadsome fire in this one, had some
fun, so I hope that you enjoyedit as well.
Let me know if you have anyquestions, send me a DM, send me
an email.
I love hearing from you and,yeah, I hope that you have an
(13:07):
incredible rest of your week.
I hope that you have anincredible rest of your day and
I will talk to you soon.
An incredible rest of your dayand I will talk to you soon.
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.
If you are moved or inspired,please share with me by leaving
a rating and review on ApplePodcasts.
It means the world to me and Iam so appreciative for your
support in helping my podcastgrow.
(13:28):
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram and TikTok and followme at Raythesemanticcoach.
Make sure you check out theshow notes of today's episode
for links to freebies,opportunities to work with me
and ways we can stay connectedoutside of the podcast.
I'm so happy that you're hereand I can't wait to talk with
you on our next episode of theRadiant Life podcast.
Welcome to the Radiant Life Podcast.
I'm your host, rae, the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
you in healing your past, livingin the present and creating
your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
embodied and happiest version ofyourself.
Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about
(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
If you're interested inbecoming the best version of
yourself so that you can livethe life of your dreams, then
you're in the right place.
Subscribe to the podcast andthe monthly newsletter and
follow me on Instagram andTikTok to know when new episodes
are released each week.
I am so happy that you'velanded here.
(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach and
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
For today's topic, I wanted totalk about how, when we start
(01:07):
something new, it can be reallyhard for us.
It can be really confrontingfor us, and so how we can learn
something new and startsomething new with ease.
How we can be more gentle withourselves, how we can be more
self-compassionate, and so thiscould look like maybe you're
transitioning to a new job,maybe you're in a new
(01:28):
relationship, maybe you'relooking to start your own
business anything where youmight be doing something new
that you've never done beforeand what can we do when that
happens to make ourselves feelokay in learning something new?
That can be really confrontingfor us.
So that's what today's episodeis all about.
(01:50):
If you are starting somethingnew, there are definitely a lot
of challenges that you mightencounter, so you might feel
fearful of the uncertainty andthe unknown of starting this new
project and not knowing whereit's going to go.
You might feel like you don'thave like the skill set or the
(02:11):
knowledge yet as much as youwould like to, because it's new.
You might feel like there'ssome self-doubt that's present
some perfectionism.
You might also feel a littlebit isolated or lonely if it's a
new job and you still haven'tmade connections, or you're
starting your own business andnobody in your family or none of
(02:34):
your friends have had their ownbusiness before.
Or maybe you're in a newrelationship and you want things
to go really well, so you mightfeel a little bit isolated
because maybe you're not talkingto your friends about it as
much because it's new.
So those are definitely somechallenges that you might
encounter, and we're going tochat a little bit about how we
(02:54):
can move through all of thesechallenges with a little bit
more ease and awareness.
So one thing I always like topoint out when I'm working with
a client who is coming to me andmight be experiencing some of
these kind of growing pains, iswhat I like to say is the idea
of learning curve consciousness.
So this is the idea that asmore time goes on, the more
(03:20):
competent we become.
So if you even google it,you'll see there are images for
it.
I can link one in the shownotes as well, and it will.
It really highlights thedifferent stages that you move
through as you're learning, andI think this gets overlooked
because we want to just befurther along sometimes than we
(03:40):
can be, which understandably so,but what that does is it kind
of can exasperate some anxietyrather than just like being
exactly where we are.
So the first stage of learningcurve consciousness is
unconscious incompetence.
So this is when we don't knowhow to do something.
We're not really aware of ifwe're like good or bad at it,
(04:04):
but we're new, right, we juststarted, so we're not even
conscious of what we're good ator what we're not great at.
And then we move on to stagetwo, which is conscious
incompetence.
So now enough time has passedwhere we know a little bit about
the skills, we've gained alittle bit of experience that
we've improved in some way, butwe know that maybe in another
(04:27):
area we're not quite there yet.
And then we have consciouscompetence.
So this is where we've gottenall the skills, like enough time
has passed that we'reperforming well.
We may have, you know, passedsome sort of like exam even, or
taken a certification orsomething, and we're kind of on
(04:49):
the other side of the I don'tknow part.
We're not completely there, butwe have more conscious
awareness and more confidence inthe area that we're working
with.
And then the fourth stage isunconscious competence.
So this is kind of like you'vebeen enough time has passed,
you've been working on this taskor in this role long enough
(05:13):
that you can do it in your sleep, so to speak, like you're in a
flow state.
That doesn't mean thateverything is perfect by any
means.
I don't think in any of thesestages we're not striving for
perfection, but it's just likeriding a bike you learned how to
ride a bike and now you can doit without even thinking about
it because it's unconsciouscompetence.
So just naming these fourstages learning curve,
(05:36):
consciousness it's definitelyhelpful to name them and just
kind of know, okay, like rightnow I'm in stage two, like I've
been at my job for a few weeks,but I know in six months I'll be
at stage three, like whateverit might look like for you, but
I think it's helpful to name it.
And then another image that I'dlove to share with you and I'll
(05:57):
also link this one in the shownotes is called the Valley of
Despair, and in this articlesomeone has transformed that
terminology into the Bridge ofHope, which I like.
It's more of like a positivemindset, like growth mindset
name.
So we're going to run with that.
(06:17):
It's called the bridge of hopeand in this image it shows that
when you're moving through atransition or a change, you
might move through some fears,some guilt.
You might end up in what'scalled the valley of despair,
which is like oh wow, this is alot harder than I thought it
would be.
And then when you move overthat phase, you move into
(06:38):
gradual acceptance.
You move into like a movingforward mindset, acceptance,
optimism and growth.
And so this image of thatjourney, of how it's not
necessarily like linear, it'snot just like you started and
then you felt great.
You know like sometimes we haveto go through this phase of
(06:58):
what's called the bridge of hope, so I'll also link this one in
the show notes I think it'sreally helpful to name knowing
that when we're startingsomething new, sometimes it's
just not going to be easy.
We might run into somechallenges, and that that's okay
.
And then the third thing that Iwill mention, when it comes to
learning or starting somethingnew, feeling more at ease is
(07:22):
allowing ourselves to beimperfect.
So perfectionism and feelinglike we need to have all the
answers will definitely makesomething less enjoyable and
will also stop us, you know,dead in our tracks because we
don't necessarily have all theanswers yet.
And if we're trying really hardto know all of the things and
we don't, it can not feel sogreat.
(07:44):
So what's been really helpfulfor perfectionism for myself and
also for my clients, is innerchild healing.
Inner child healing is thisconcept of working with a part
of yourself that's anywhere fromzero to 14 years old and this
part of yourself had a livedexperience and now, as your
(08:05):
adult self, it can come throughand be running the show.
So there's this underlying needfor either safety, love,
belonging, acceptance, whateverit might be, and then that need
ends up running the show.
So this is something for methat I really had to take head
(08:27):
on when I started my businessbecause I was new, right.
Sometimes I still feel new andI'm in like year two or three or
whatever year it is so reallyallowing yourself to take messy
action, to take risks, and doingit from a place that feels
really safe.
Because when you connect withthat inner child that feels the
(08:48):
struggles of perfectionism andhaving things needing to look
sound or be a certain way beforethey take action, needing to
look sound or be a certain waybefore they take action, that
can feel really scary.
I know for myself, myperfectionism was from being a
competitive athlete, so Ireceived a lot of recognition
and a lot of love from how Iperformed.
But if I'm not performing andI'm not receiving love, then
(09:10):
there's this part of me thatfelt really scared and like
what's going on, right?
So I did a lot of inner work todiscover that and it's
definitely created a lot oftransformation in my personal
life, and I see it in my clientslives too.
Like I definitely work withpeople that are building their
own businesses, that arestarting new jobs, new
relationships, and perfectionismgets in the way of fun, right?
(09:32):
So when we're learning somethingnew, allow yourself to be
imperfect, allow yourself totake messy action, connect with
your inner child and be moreself-compassionate with yourself
.
And then the fourth thing thatI'll mention for learning
something new with ease is ifyou're being really hard on
yourself, like you are, like Ishould be further along than I
(09:55):
am I should be, you know.
Like I should be further alongthan I am I should be, you know
I should know this already.
Like I should have it allfigured out by now.
Make it a game, like play thisgame with me, even if it's just
for one week.
For one week, just make it agame and say that, wherever
you're at like, whateverprogress you've made, how,
whatever you're being hard onyourself for for one week, say
(10:17):
that it doesn't matter.
Whatever this thing is thatyou're hard on yourself for, be
like for this one week, itdoesn't matter.
It doesn't matter that I'm, youknow, not as far along in my
job as I'd like to be, or itdoesn't matter that I didn't get
as many views on the reel thatI wanted, like whatever.
The thing is that you are beingreally, really hard on yourself
(10:39):
for for one week.
Play this game with me and sayI'm going to let go for one week
of this thing that I'm reallybeing hard on myself for and let
it be fun, let it make it agame, let it be entertaining for
yourself and notice the shiftsafter that one week, if you can
really do it.
Notice what letting go of thatthing did for you.
(11:01):
And then the last thing that Iwill share with you, when it
comes to learning something new,feeling more at ease, feeling
more embodied, is that when westop growing, it's because we've
stopped learning.
When we stop growing, it'sbecause we've stopped learning.
So it doesn't matter if it isday one and you've started
something completely brand new,or if you are on year 10 and
(11:23):
you're striving for somethingmore.
If we've stopped growing andwe've stopped moving through
these learning curve,consciousness, the valley of
despair, the bridge of hope,allowing ourselves to be
imperfect, inner child, healingand playing the game of that,
whatever that thing we'reharping on ourself doesn't
matter for one week, all ofthose growing pains, it's
(11:45):
because we've stopped learning,we've stopped growing right.
So, knowing that, in whateverarea it is that you are looking
to make strides in, it's becauseyou're growing, it's because
you're learning Like you aretaking the initiative of trying
something new.
And when we try something new,sometimes we're not the best at
(12:06):
it in the beginning, but overtime we become confident in it,
we become efficient in it, andthen we start striving for
something else.
Right, we start wanting maybeit's still in the same field or
the same area or the same jobbut then maybe we start striving
for a promotion and then fromthere, maybe we feel like we
want more, from there.
(12:26):
You know, whatever it mightlook like, if you are learning
something new and you're beingreally hard on yourself, come
back to this episode.
Move through all of these steps.
Look at learning curve,consciousness, look at the
bridge of hope, allow yourselfto take messy action, allow
yourself to be imperfect,connect with your inner child
(12:47):
and play the game All right.
So that is what I have for youfor today's episode.
I enjoyed making this one, hadsome fire in this one, had some
fun, so I hope that you enjoyedit as well.
Let me know if you have anyquestions, send me a DM, send me
an email.
I love hearing from you and,yeah, I hope that you have an
(13:07):
incredible rest of your week.
I hope that you have anincredible rest of your day and
I will talk to you soon.
An incredible rest of your dayand I will talk to you soon.
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.
If you are moved or inspired,please share with me by leaving
a rating and review on ApplePodcasts.
It means the world to me and Iam so appreciative for your
support in helping my podcastgrow.
(13:28):
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram and TikTok and followme at Raythesemanticcoach.
Make sure you check out theshow notes of today's episode
for links to freebies,opportunities to work with me
and ways we can stay connectedoutside of the podcast.
I'm so happy that you're hereand I can't wait to talk with
you on our next episode of theRadiant Life podcast.
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