September 16, 2025 • 49 mins
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Join us on The Real Family Eats as Reesa chats with Courtney Boylan, founder and CEO of Lelo, about her real experiences with postpartum life, parenting, and making self-care a priority. Discover a family-friendly energy ball recipe and practical advice for navigating the chaos of parenthood.
- How Courtney’s postpartum journey inspired her to start a company for moms
- The versatile and easy energy ball recipe every busy parent should try
- Real talk on postpartum expectations vs. reality (including mental health)
- The importance of self-care, date nights, and maintaining relationships after kids
- Why it’s crucial to advocate for yourself and trust your parental instincts
Watch now for actionable tips, honest stories, and a community that keeps it real!
From Courtney:
I’m Courtney, the founder of Le Lolo, a brand redefining postpartum with beautiful, functional accessories for new moms. As a mom of three, I know firsthand how overwhelming those early days can be, and I’m on a mission to help new moms feel more supported, confident, and celebrated.
Connect:
@WeAreLeLolo
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Energy Ball Recipe Courtesy of:
https://www.wellplated.com/energy-balls/#wprm-recipe-container-33259
Make them to your liking, but I use coconut, chopped cranberries, chopped almonds, almond butter as mix-ins
________________________
******
Host: Reesa Morala, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Reesa is a parenting specialist with a niche in supporting couples. Find Reesa hosting couples and parenting workshops nationwide!
Make sure to like, follow, and subscribe!
For the video version of this episode find us at: https://www.embracerenewaltherapy.com/
If you are a parent ready to share your real-life parenting struggle and dish up a recipe with Reesa, apply here:
https://www.embracerenewaltherapy.com/real-family-eats-guest
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need personalized support, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional. If you are in immediate danger or experiencing a crisis, contact emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.
Suicide and Crisis Line: Text or Call 988
Go to your local hospital or call 911
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
But you don't understand whatbeing a parent is or what
(00:03):
that means, until you holdthat title and you actually have
a child of your own.
Hey, everyone.
Thanks for joining me.
My name is Reesa and I'myour host.
We are talking to real familiesabout real stories.
(00:26):
Here on the real family Eatswhere we've got food for thought
and thoughtful food.
So let's eat.
Welcome back everyone.
Thank you so much for joiningus today on The Real Family Eat.
(00:47):
I'm excited for today's episode.
I have Courtney here who hasgraciously joined us to
chat today.
Hi, Courtney, thank you so muchfor being here.
Hi, Reesa thank you so muchfor having me.
Yes, I am excitedfor this recipe.
I've never tried it, so I'msuper excited to kind of
see what it's all about.
But before we get started,for anybody who doesn't
(01:09):
know you, can you introduceyourself for us?
Yes, absolutely.
I'm pretty easy.
I'm a wife, I'm a mom,I'm a step mom, and I am
the founder and CEO of LaMelo,which is a postpartum
accessories company.
We're we're taking allof those steel and sterile
breastfeeding accessoriesand postpartum accessories
(01:30):
and making them beautifulfor moms.
Wonderful.
I love it, and I check some ofsome of that out and it is
really beautiful.
So just F.Y.I.
And we'll get to hearmore about that,
in a little bit.
So before we jump in,can you tell us what recipe
are you sharing with our parentstoday and why did you
choose this one?
(01:51):
Yes. Okay.
So I'm sharing my energyBowl recipe.
And the reason for that isI make these all the time.
My kids love them.
My husband loves them,I love them, they're a
great snack and they'resuper easy.
I'm all about conveniencebecause I'm busy all the time
and you literally just throweverything into a bowl
(02:12):
and mix it all together.
They're amazing.
Okay, well, I can do that.
Can you give me the overviewof the ingredients that you
like to use?
And I will get mixingwhile we chat.
Awesome.
So I love to use oatmeal.
I love to use coconut flakes,cranberries, and then a
nut butter.
(02:32):
So one thing that'sso amazing about this recipe
is that you can throwwhatever you want in there.
It can be peanut butter,almond butter, sunflower butter.
You can throw chocolate chipsin there.
You can throw peanuts,almonds, really whatever
you want.
And they just they taste so goodevery time.
So. Okay.
Just so easy.
And anything that you haveon hand, you just throw
(02:53):
it in the bowl and in the fridgeand they last.
They're like a great breakfastor great snack on the go
for the family.
And I love that I love theadaptability because I have
you know I imagine if any familyis there like the ones
that I know, there's, there's,you know sometimes you've got
dietary requirementsand whatnot, things that
(03:14):
kids will eat and won't eat.
And so I love thatwe can kind of be very moldable
in that way.
Yes, absolutely.
I had a friend come over and Imade them for her because
she doesn't eat dairy.
And, they were like agreat challenge, just like,
oh my gosh, these are so good.
I was like, right, I knowyou can just you can literally
make them whatever and make themhowever you want.
(03:34):
Love it.
Okay.
Yeah, I can do that.
I can throw in a bowl andmix like I, I am not
by any means.
So bless your heart.
But I am about simple and easy.
The easier the better for me.
Love it.
Okay, so while we chat,why do this rather.
(03:55):
I know one of the storiesthat you kind of alluded to it
a little bit as far asyour journey getting to opening
your brand.
And so I'd love to kind of heara little bit more about what
your experience was like.
And some of that journey throughpostpartum, specifically.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I had my first child.
(04:17):
So I am a step mom, and I lovebeing a mom.
I, my daughter is nine.
And she's been such a blessingto her life.
But I had my first son win thatin 2019. And, I just I
really struggled with thepostpartum phase.
I think I was very uneducatedand I didn't do my research.
(04:42):
And when I had him,I just remember not wanting
to leave the hospital was thefirst thing.
And I was so scared to leavethe hospital knowing that
I had to go home and take careof this baby.
And then when I got home,I just felt so.
It was such an out of bodyexperience for me, like
I wasn't used to how mybody felt.
(05:04):
I, I didn't know how tocare for this baby.
My hormones were going crazy.
I just my emotions wereall over the place and it was
really tough for me to not feellike myself.
And.
Yeah, and it was, it was just,it was a struggle for me
that I didn't, that I wasn'texpecting.
And I think that is probablywhat the hardest part
(05:24):
was, is that it wasn'tsomething that I expected
and it was.
And then it had to besomething that I dealt with.
Okay, so I heard you mentionkind of not expecting, was there
something that maybe becauseone of the things that I've
heard before is that,you know, maybe what's
advertised, what you seein the books or maybe what
(05:45):
your friends or yourfamily tells you isn't always
the full picture.
And so was that your experienceas far as maybe it wasn't
what you expected?
Yeah, absolutely.
You know, we're in the eraof Instagram and everything
looking pretty and perfectat all times.
And I had none of my friends hadhad babies yet either.
(06:06):
So there wasn't really anythingto go off of.
And I just hadn't heard anythingabout the struggles through
postpartum.
All I saw was, pictureson Instagram and moms loving
their baby feeling great.
You know, looking amazing andready and walking around
and just carrying their babyand just being so happy.
(06:27):
And that's I guess it wasthe feeling for me
of not feeling happy insideor understanding why I wasn't
feeling that way,which is really tough for me.
Okay, can you say a little bitmore about this?
Yeah, it was just, you know, I,I didn't have that sense of,
of happiness when, when I waswith my, my baby at first
(06:51):
and I struggled to understandhow to take care of him.
And I think it was it wasself-doubt that I was placing
on myself that made it tough.
And I wasn't giving myselfgrace, and I was trying
to control the situation,and I had to learn that
as time goes on, you realizeand you understand,
(07:13):
and your mother intuitionkicks in and you don't
know how to take care of yourbaby.
And it's just somethingthat you learn as you go.
But I was trying to controlthat feeling so much
as I entered into postpartum,that it made it tough for me
to just kind of go with the flowand navigate those feelings
that I had, rather than whatI thought that I should have
(07:34):
felt like.
And so I think you mentionedsuch a great point and I wanted
to circle back if it's okaywith you, that idea of like
being happy because I think thatI know I can really I know
I've heard other moms, parentswhere there's almost this,
you know, disconnectbecause society, whomever
(07:58):
is kind of saying this is sucha magical time and like,
this is amazing.
And sunshine and rainbowsand unicorns and
all these things.
And then when you aren'thaving that same sensation,
like, I imagine just likebeing in that, in, I don't know
about you, but, you know,I definitely remember a time
(08:18):
where it's like, is this ais this a me problem?
Like, am I doingsomething wrong?
Or like, is theresomething wrong with me that
I don't feel all ofthis happiness and that joy?
Does that resonate with you?
Did you experience any of that?
100% yes.
You go into this experiencethinking that you're
(08:39):
going to have this specificfeeling of when you hold
your baby for the first time,and then when you don't
have that feeling, you feellike something's wrong with you,
not with your baby, with you.
And I just remember my soncoming out and him being placed
in my arms.
And it was like such anout-of-body experience.
Like, you know, I knewI was supposed to feel happy
and joy, but I just felt almostlike awkward withholding
(09:02):
because I had never obviously,I carried him for the last
nine months, but it was justthis human that I didn't know,
and I wasn't havingthose feelings of complete joy
when I when I was holding him.
And it was scary for me. Yeah.
And I imagined and so wasthat something that you
(09:23):
were able to kind of expressto anyone, or was there
maybe even like a stigmaor a worry about
expressing like,I don't feel joy when I'm
holding this baby.
Yeah, for sure.
I was scared to say something.
Honestly, even to my husband.
And, you know, we talk abouteverything.
We have such great,amazing, open communication.
(09:43):
But in that moment whenI didn't feel that way,
I was so scared to saysomething.
And I think that's probably whyI was so scared to leave
the hospital is because I didn'twant to have to go home
and like, face those emotionson my own.
And I just wasn't sure how toprocess it in the moment
and, understand what thatfeeling was because
I'd never gone through itbefore. Yeah.
(10:06):
And so I'm curious for younow, looking back on it,
or maybe, maybe you had thatinsight closer to it, of just
like where, where did thatcome from for you?
Kind of what was the function?
What was the role ofthat awkwardness and of
just like, I, I don'tfeel comfortable taking this
(10:26):
baby home and kind ofbeing in that or even just
the propensity because I heardyou mentioned, like very
specifically, I didn'tblame my baby.
I totally just I took that on,like, for you.
Did you do you know,kind of where that came from
or why that was your instinct?
Well, I think I've done alot of growing since I become
a mom.
My son is six now, and so it'sbeen six years, and now I'm
(10:48):
more in tune with my emotionsand how I handle my emotions
were at that stage in my life.
I didn't process my emotionswell, so it was hard
for me to deal with somethingof that nature and an emotion
that big when I didn't knowhow to process my emotions
at that point either.
And so now, looking back on itand thinking, okay, well,
(11:11):
if I was to go through thatsituation again, it's a
little different because I'ma mom now and I understand
how that feeling felt for me.
But but it was just a timeand place in my life,
and I think I was just naiveto the to the fact
of being a mom and what amom meant, that I wasn't able to
to handle how I was feeling.
(11:33):
And, you know, I thinkthat makes a ton of sense.
And, you know, I'm kind ofgoing back to what you said.
I know you mentioned then andthere was this urge,
this instinctive like controland that felt out of control.
And I'm wondering like you canlet me know if I'm way off base
here, like if your bodyis just going, I don't know how
to deal with this.
And so the only waythat makes sense to me is like,
(11:54):
what can I control andhow can I control
as much of this as possible?
Absolutely.
And I think that's a lot ofkind of how I went through life
when I was younger is like,what can I control?
And and if I could control it,then I would latch on to it.
And if I couldn't,I would kind of I would push
away from it.
Yeah.
And how do you free you know,I know you can only
(12:15):
probably speak about your ownexperience, but I
how do you break out of that.
Like how do you go from that?
I don't know what to dowith this.
I don't I'm not feelingall the feelings that maybe
people advertise.
And then I have to go homewith this child.
And I'm not really talking toanybody about it,
which I imagine is a reallylonely place to be in.
(12:38):
And so, like, how do youhow do you move through that.
Yeah.
You know, I it was tough.
And I think for me the breakthrough was so I when I was
in the hospitalI had a lactation consultant
come in and my breastswere so engorged I couldn't
feed my baby.
(12:59):
Like if she helped meput him on.
I could feed, but I couldn'tdo it on my own because my
my boobs were so engorgedand she was like, don't use
don't use a nipple shield.
It will ruin the baby's latch.
Don't use a pump because itwill ruin your milk supply.
And that scared me so muchwhen she said those things
to me, because she's supposedto be the expert.
(13:20):
So as yeah, I'm like,okay, well, I should
listen to her.
So I remember going homeand I was in so much pain and
I called my sister and she waslike, Courtney, you have to
listen to your body and listento yourself and like,
what's going to be good for youand for the baby.
And that was kind of likea breakthrough moment for me and
understanding, like,I have to be the one to
(13:42):
control how I'm feeling andcontrol, what I'm doing for my
baby and realizethat I'm his mom and I am.
And I can figure this outand I can be a good mom
to him. So, I did pump afterI talked to her, and I felt
immediate relief,and I was like, okay, like,
she's right.
I do need to listen to myselfand to my intuition and jump in
(14:05):
and do what I think is best,rather than worrying about what
somebody else would door worrying about what
somebody else might thinkand understand that I am his
mom and I can do what's bestfor him and for myself.
Yeah.
Did you find that there was any,you know, even after that,
any pushback or maybeunsolicited words from others
(14:29):
of like, what you should bedoing, how you should
be feeding them, etc.,etc., etc..
To be honest, I, you know, Ikeep a close circle and I'm
very lucky that my circle isvery supportive.
So I didn't really have anyone,you know, tell me, you know,
this is how you should bedoing something.
(14:50):
But I know that that's whata lot of moms go through.
And that's really tough.
And, you know, followingsocial accounts on Instagram,
there's people who will tell youto do certain do things
a certain way, and you thinkthey should you should
believe them because they'rethe expert.
And I think for anyonewho's out there who is not a mom
and is maybe an expecting mom,to remember that, you know,
(15:12):
that's their opinion.
But you have to dowhat's best for you and make the
decision, that's goingto be right for you and
your baby.
And imagine how that can beso tough.
Like you said, in the midst ofprofessionals telling you
that it's supposed to looka certain way or you're
supposed to do a certain thing,you've got social media kind of
(15:32):
telling you this is whatit's supposed to look like,
or what to do or what not to do,but to kind of walk that line
of being able to say, like yousaid, kind of trust
your own body and be ableto kind of trust that
instinct when, you know,I imagine there are
lots of people out therethat have learned,
(15:53):
have been kind of trainedto tune that out and to not pay
attention to that and to kind ofpay attention to all these
external inputs.
Yeah.
You know, when you becomea first time mom, you've
never done it before.
So you feel like you shouldbe able to trust those people.
But if you're feelingin your gut, and I think
that's really when I startedto trust my gut the most is when
I became a mom.
(16:14):
If you feel likesomething's off, like you have
to listen to that for sure.
Did that come like an overnightfor you, or was that a process
to kind of get to the the guttrusting?
Yeah, I think it was definitelya process.
You know, a few thingshad to happen.
And as I realized, okay, like,you know, I was feeling
(16:35):
a certain way and it took mea long time to change something.
And then once I did,it was better.
Over time, as I continueto do that, I realized,
okay, like this is my guttelling me that something is off
and something needs to changeand I need to listen to that.
Yeah.
Is there any like, hot tipsthat you have found ways to kind
(16:56):
of advocate for your own good,if you will, in spite of
maybe what others say?
Or I don't know about anyhot tips, I think you just,
it's really about trustingyourself and and believing
in yourself that you aredoing the right thing.
(17:17):
And you know what?
If you do somethingand it doesn't help or
it doesn't work,you can always go back or
you can try something different.
There's no there's no finalityin any decision you make.
So you can try somethingdifferent.
And I think that's sucha good point because I think
what at least what I've,I've heard, I've experienced
(17:38):
that there's this we inthis pressure that as parents
that we feel like, oh my gosh,I don't want to I don't want
to mess this up.
It's another human being, like,I'm in charge of this,
this whole nother human being.
And I don't I don't wantto mess it up.
And so then there's thiskind of, maybe almost fear that,
(17:59):
you know, this is it.
I kind of my one sidedto kind of even zoom out
and say, you know, I canchange course, and that's okay.
Can be really difficult, likein the moment to kind of
rationalize, especially becausethere is so much of that, like,
I don't want to miss this trialwith like, I don't know
how many times I've heardthat from from parents.
(18:20):
Totally.
You know, I still saythat to myself as I'm raising
my children, that, you know,the things that I do,
I'm like, oh, I don't want tomess them up.
Like any reactionthat I can have, you know,
you don't know what those corememories are that gets stuck
in their brain that they that,you know, transform them
into the people thatthey become.
So it is scary, but it'salso such a blessing
(18:41):
to be a parent and to be ableto raise these precious
little humans into, you know,the amazing adults that they're
going to become.
And you know, what I alwayssay is like, like your baby.
I know it feels so crazywhen they're so little
and you're making thesedecisions, but they're
never going to remember.
So just remember that.
That when they're a baby,they're never going to remember
(19:01):
what happened.
So make mistakes.
Yeah.
And I think even, you know,talking about mistakes, the guys
to be able like even asthey're older you make mistakes
and to kind of modelthat and like yeah I totally
messed that one up.
Can I try again and you know,being able to show your kids
(19:22):
that idea of even justbeing like, yeah, I'm human too.
And I make mistakes and I'mlearning.
Just as you're learningto be a human, I'm learning
how to be a parent.
Absolutely.
I was very naive as to whatparenting was when I became
a parent.
You know, I was always inlike the dreamland
phase, like, oh,I want to be a mom.
I always wanted to be a mom,even when I was little.
(19:44):
But you don't understand whatbeing a parent is or what
that means, until you holdthat title and you actually have
a child of your own.
And I was very naiveto the fact of how hard it was
and what it means.
And to raise these humanswho don't like to listen to you
and have their own mindsand their own personalities
and that, you know, my daughteris completely different from
(20:06):
my son, and I have to raise themdifferent ways and talk to them
different ways because they'reso different.
And, when people say it's thetoughest thing in the world,
I don't think you cancomprehend that when you're
not a parent.
But then once you become that,that's when you start
to understand.
Yeah.
Was there any particular maybehandful of things that for you,
(20:30):
like you said before you werea parent, you were like, oh, I'm
going to do this and this iswhat it's going to look like.
And then that you foundas you became a parent,
it's like very different.
Yeah.
I think I just thought that itwas going to be like so easy
and so fun.
And I would just like carrymy kid around.
You know, it's actually a reallyfunny story.
So my step daughter, I met herwhen I was, when she was two
(20:52):
and she has like the coolest,easiest kid ever.
My husband and I, we took hereverywhere like she was
so chill.
She was always happy.
And I always tell my husbandif her name is Grace.
I was like, if Grace was likeour children, I would not
have married you really.
(21:15):
She was amazing.
And our children are they'rethey're very easy kids, but,
you know, they have some sassto them and they're not as
easygoing as she, but she was.
So I had this notion like, oh mygosh, like, this is going to
be so great.
Like, let's just have a millionof them.
And that's not the casefor sure.
Yeah, yeah.
(21:36):
Is there, is there a particular,maybe challenge that you
have seen thus far that's reallykind of like humbled you
if you will.
Like, do you have a particularmoment that's really like
iconic for you?
Oh gosh.
I'm trying to think oflike the one iconic moment,
(21:56):
which nothing reallycomes to mind, but I think
my daughter humbles me a lot,because she, she's three
and she's just, you know, she'ssassy, but, like, she's also
a little, you know, sheshe doesn't want to be told
what to do.
And I, you know, like to run.
(22:20):
I wouldn't say attention, but,you know, I expect my kids to be
respectful.
And I have a tough time,like holding my my balance
with her and and understandingher energy levels
because they're so differentthan the rest of the family.
So the way I have toreact to her, I really have
to take a breath and like,take a step back and just
(22:41):
gather myself to handleher emotions and the type
of personality that she has.
Which is so much differentthan my son.
And it's just, you know, it'ssuch a different parenting
experience between thetwo of them.
And I'm sure it will alwaysbe that way.
So, you know, until they'readults and even then.
(23:05):
But, you know, it's just it'sit's crazy how tough it can
be in different instanceswith different children.
And, but I think that'salso important to remind
other parents of, like,you know, you have to understand
kind of the personalitythat you're, that your child has
and be able to to relate to thatand come to their level.
(23:27):
Yeah.
With that, a difficult shiftto kind of go from maybe,
okay, I'm starting to get inthe hang of this with your sign,
you know, okay, I had tolearn this, this new
personality.
And then in comes the third onewho it sounds like, you know, is
is very different.
Was that a difficult.
So you have to kind ofgo to that, like you said,
(23:49):
you know, parenting and doing itdifferently and kind of
figuring out what works for her.
Yeah.
And, you know, I thinkas she gets older is
how it's become more difficult.
When she was a baby, it wasn'treally an issue, but it's
more of like now thatshe can talk and she can
express her feelings and she canhave her own opinions.
My son is very like zestfor life, always happy, like so
(24:14):
full of energy, you know, justis like full of love
and like wants to giveyou kisses and hug 24/7.
And my daughter is the completeopposite, you know, she's very
reserved.
She, you know, if you ask herhow her day is, she usually
says, not good wheremy son is like the best day ever
every day.
So it's more like, you know,not making her feel bad
(24:35):
for or having, I don'twant to call her negative,
but just having a more,you know, reserved
personality than than my sondoes.
And sometimes it can be.
I just want her to, like,just be positive and be,
you know, told me that she had agreat day and tell me
about her day.
Like she won't open it up.
(24:56):
You really got to dig with her.
Whereas my son, he will talkyour ear off like he does not
stop talking all day long.
And for her, maybe that's whyshe doesn't talk.
Because he's always talking.
But for her, youreally have to dig and you have
to pull things out of her.
And you know, you got to getto her level and understand
where her energy level is.
And it's just it's it's acompletely different
(25:18):
relationship, between betweenthe two of them.
And that's okay.
And obviously, you know, like,I love her for who she is.
And I just have to remember thatthat's who she is.
And and she's meantto be that way.
Yeah.
And that's such a great reminderbecause I think even that,
you know, it's that leveling upwhen you aren't a parent,
(25:40):
then you become a parent.
That's like, that's a wholenew challenge and a
whole new bag.
And then when you adda different personality,
you know what?
Maybe work for one kid doesn'talways work for the other.
And it can be, you know,I think for for a lot of
parents that are now addingsecond, third, fourth, that just
kind of that shift of like,hey, I was just kidding
(26:01):
and hanging this and like,I was doing really good.
And then now was like,this isn't work to.
Right?
Totally, totally.
Yeah, absolutely.
I thank you for letting me gofor the Segways so that,
but I wanted to kind ofbring us back, to some of
that postpartum journey that youhad in you mentioned kind of the
(26:22):
breastfeeding.
And I know just, you know,based on some of your products,
was there, a part in your,your journey even just,
you know, talking aboutbreastfeeding?
Let's start there.
That maybe was challengingand was a little bit difficult.
That maybe was an inspirationfor kind of where you decided
to go with, with your businessand whatnot.
(26:45):
Yeah.
So my business all startedwhen I was using a nipple
shield is kind of how my ideasparked. Okay.
And so I didn't usingnipple shield for the
typical reasons that lactationconsultants typically tell you
to use one for, likeif your baby has inverted
or if you have inverted nipples,your baby has a tongue, tie
(27:06):
or latch issues.
I used one specifically becausemy nipples were so tender
from the baby feedingall the time.
I just needed a little bitof relief.
And it really helped me.
And, that was a tip my sistergave me.
But when the nipple shieldsare clear and I would
always lose it and it wouldfall, you know, on the ground
(27:26):
or getting stuckin the couch or, you know,
in the middle of the night.
I couldn't find it in the bed.
And it was so frustrating to me.
And I was like, where arethe colored nipple shields?
This is so crazy.
And I couldn't find one.
I couldn't find one anywhere.
And I, I'm always coming upwith crazy, you know,
product ideas and tellingmy husband he's like,
you are wild.
You know, I can try and make itinvent something new for
(27:48):
anything.
And I was like, but like, therereally isn't a color
nipple shield on the marketbecause I can't be the only mom
losing my nipple shield all day,all night long.
And, so I decided to go for it,and I made a colored
nipple shield, and,that was kind of the
starting point of my idea behindthe brand. Okay.
(28:12):
And then I was kind of thinkinglike, well, you know,
out of all of these accessoriesthat I use and I and every woman
uses postpartum, they'realso stale and sterile
and clinical.
And why can't they be beautifuland pretty, like, if there's
any one who deserves prettyaccessories that bring
(28:33):
a little bit of joy?
It's a new mom.
We always put so much emphasison the baby and what the baby
has and, you know, cute clothesfor the baby and like,
having beautiful nurseries.
And we always forget aboutthe mom and like, how
the mom's been taking care ofand the self-care and the
self-love that she deserves.
And I just wanted to createa company for moms
(28:56):
that when they.
I just hope that when they useour accessories, that they are
reminded of their beautyand their worth as a mom,
and it just brings in alittle extra joy through their
postpartum journey.
And can you say a little bitmore about that?
Like, we pay so much attention,there's so many new things
(29:17):
and kind of doting on baby,but that mom, why do you
think that is?
You know, I don't know it,to be honest.
I do think it's shiftinga little bit to the mom, because
I think society is realizingthat, you know, this woman,
the mom is the one who just didall the work, carry the baby,
brought this baby intothe world, is the one
who is the main caretaker ofthe baby.
(29:39):
In the first few months,and so I think there is
a little bit of a shift, but I,you know, past society,
I think it was more about,you know, it's the newness
of the baby.
And, you know, everybodyloves babies.
How could you not love a baby?
So the focus just was shifted tothe baby, when really the
(30:00):
focus should be on the mom.
Why why is that so importantfor you.
Let's focus you on on momas well I absolutely you know
the transition into postpartum,it can be tough and it's
not tough for everyone,but it can be tough for
for many moms.
(30:21):
And we need to put themental health and self-love
and self security backonto the mom and make sure
that the mom is being takencare of.
Just like, you know, there's thesame like, if you can't
take care of your baby,if you don't take care
of yourself.
And from the get go, thethe message needs to be
that we need to take care ofthe mom and make sure
(30:42):
that she's in a good placeso that the baby can be
in a good place as well.
Yeah.
Do you find that that wassomething that you struggled
with, even like giving,giving yourself permission,
getting that permission,whatever that look like for
you of even just that,like you said, that self-love,
compassion, that grace was thatchallenging for you?
(31:03):
Was that a difficult oneto kind of get you?
Yeah.
Wasn't I think it can be formany moms, because when
you have that, when you haveyour baby, the energy
and everything that you think ofbecomes about the baby.
And it is easy to forgetabout yourself.
And I think maybe that's partof the reason why it's all about
the baby is because I says momsdo it too, because our motherly
(31:26):
instinct kicks in and it becomesnot about us anymore, becomes
about our family and about,you know, how we need to care
for our new baby.
And so being able to bringsomething to the market
that just reminds a mom that,you know, she needs to remind
to remember to take careof herself as well is really
(31:47):
important to me.
And I want, you know,that shifter to be made
in, in the world to make surethat we are focusing on the moms
just as much as we'refocusing on the babies.
Yeah.
Do you find that you everreceived the message,
whether it was from yourself,from anybody else, that
that shifting, that takingthat time in, in high priority
(32:10):
was selfish?
I don't think so.
I don't think I, I don't feellike I ever received
that message.
It was just something that Ikind of came to a realization
over time.
You know, I think I thinkI put the pressure on myself
to feel that way.
(32:31):
Not necessarily anyone else.
It was my own.
It was my own perceptionof being a mom and this
responsibility that I hadnow that I was putting
on myself, it wasn't necessarilyanyone else.
Gotcha.
And can you say a little bitmore about that?
Like, what was your brainkind of trying to convince
you of?
Like, I have to do these thingsbecause if I don't have,
(32:55):
what would it mean?
Or what would it sayabout you or your abilities
or whatnot?
Yeah, I think it was it for me,it was just more about,
you know, the the new rolethat I had.
It wasn't necessarilyanything that I felt or that
anyone was telling me.
I just knew now that as amom, it's kind of like
(33:15):
my control part kicking inof like, I now have to care
for this baby.
And it's not just it'snot about me anymore.
It's not about me.
It's about it's about my roleas a mother.
Yeah.
And I think that's so.
Gosh, I've heard that somany times where that is,
you know, even if it doesn'tcome externally.
(33:37):
But just like you said, like aan internal kind of this is now
my responsibility.
So much so that I feel likemany parents kind of go to that
extreme of just sacrificingso much of themselves,
so much of their wellnessand their their own identities,
even, or this idea that I haveto just give 100%.
(34:01):
You know, even at this pointin my life, I have to make sure
that I have time on my calendarto take care of myself.
You know, that I'm working out,that I have, you know,
I have a chunk of timeduring the day because that's
what makes me feel good.
Like when I can exercise,that's good for my brain
and for my body.
And that's what I know makes mefeel good.
And so I need to make sureand plan that out.
(34:23):
Now, I at the same time, I'mthinking about what we're having
for dinner, all the laundrythat needs to be done, you know,
the bathrooms that need tobe cleaned.
I need to go to the grocerystore, like all of these
other things.
You know, I gotta pick upmy kids from school.
Like, we got to do homework.
All these things are goingthrough my brain
at the same time.
But I have to make sure that.
And if I didn't planthat time out, it would never
(34:44):
get done, because I'mnot thinking about that.
Like the self-care piece you'retalking about.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah.
Is there something that for you,you have found really is kind of
the optimal kind of fillyour cup that you're like go to.
Oh man.
Well my husband and I do datenight every three weeks
(35:05):
which we also had to plan outwhich has been really important
to us.
So every three weeks it's onthe calendar like it's a
non-negotiable.
We get a baby sitterand we go out and it's not
like that, okay.
Let's, you know, it beit was a thing where it wasn't
happening.
So we weren't going out becausewe never had a baby sitter.
And I was like, we need to planthis and put this on
(35:26):
the calendar that everythree weeks we do this
because if we don't, it'snot going to get done.
And so that is like a fillyour cup for me for sure.
So any time, you know, one onone with my husband.
Also early bedtime I loveearly bedtime because that
time from 7 to 10 is justme and him.
(35:47):
Which is really importantfor our relationship to,
you know, talk and be togetherwithout the distraction of kids.
Can you see a little bitmore about, at least in
your experience, whythat has been so beneficial
and such a clear cut.
Because again I can't tell youthe number of like
empty nesters.
It's like oh we'll getto that later.
And then by the timekids are out of the house
(36:09):
they're like, I know, I don'tknow who this person is.
And so for you, kind ofwhy was that so important
that you were like, we have toput this on the calendar?
Yeah.
You just gave me this sensewhen you said that because it's
so true.
It's like, you know, youhave these kids and then you
lose yourself in yourrelationship because
all you talk about is the kidsall day.
(36:29):
We need to go to sports.
We need to do this.
Do we want to put do we want toput them in dance?
Like, what are we going to dothis weekend?
It becomes all about keepingthe kids busy and what the kids
schedule looks like,and you lose that relationship
with yourself and your partner.
And, you know, I, I have to givethe credit to my husband
because he is the best at this,at making sure that we
(36:50):
stay connected because itis easy to to to lose
sight of that and tolose that, that connection
piece. So, you know,it's just it's become important
for him, which makes itimportant for me.
And I am so grateful that thathas become, you know, one of
(37:10):
the things that we reallyfocus on, because if we
aren't connected and we're noton the same page and we
don't have good communication,we can't be good parents
for our kids.
Can you say more about that?
Because I think that'swhere sometimes people miss
that part.
That. Yeah.
So, you know, I said we can'tif we don't have good
communication and we aren'tconnected.
(37:32):
We can't be good co-parentsto our children and then
see that we are on the same page24 seven and that we see
the same message and that,you know, we have the
same rules, we stay onthe same ground.
And so they know that we area team and we are a unit.
They can't go to dad and sayone thing to try and get mom
(37:55):
to say the other thing,or vice versa.
It's always it's alwaysthe same message from whatever
parent that it's coming from.
Yeah.
Have you seen like is there aparticular moment, whether it's
your own self-care or yourrelationship, self-care and
self-love that, you've kind ofseen that benefit
(38:15):
or the rewards, if you will,from that priority, you know,
and in the investment,if you will, that you've
put into it.
I think the one thingthat my husband and I love
the most is seeing how lovingand caring and kind our children
are, you know, we are veryaffectionate towards one one, 1
to 1 another.
We love, you know, to kissand hug in front of the kids.
(38:37):
And our kids are like that too.
And, you know, they'revery sweet and they want
to hug everyone.
Sometimes other peopledon't want to be hugged.
Our kids are the onewho are going up hugging
everyone.
But they're so thoughtfuland they have, you know,
that piece of emotion to themthat we love, that they have.
We love that they're lovingand that they have big hearts
(38:58):
and you know that theywant to be they want to tell us
they love us, theygive us kisses.
And that's for every parentand not every families
like that.
And that's okay.
But for us, we like to seethat in our children.
Yeah.
And I think that's such animportant thing that sometimes
we forget is that the powerof modeling, that not just
(39:18):
kind of the do what I say,not what I do, but that
when they're actually seeing itlive in front of them and
have the impact and how muchit does actually get
internalized.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think it's there.
Yeah.
There's nothing better thanmodeling.
And, you know, the one thingthat I see every night about
(39:41):
with my kids when we goto sleep is when we put them
to bed.
It's like, what was thebest part of your day?
And I love ending the day,talking about what
their favorite thing wasabout that day.
And, you know, it leaves themon a positive note of going
to sleep and happy thoughtsin their in their head.
And I just I hope that,you know, that's something
that we never lose and thatthey remember to focus on the
(40:03):
good things and thepositive things throughout their
entire life.
Yeah. Okay.
So will you say though,because I've heard this one
before, that when you talk aboutscheduling your date night,
people go out.
That's so not romantic.
I totally I yeah, I understand,but you know, we try to
(40:24):
make it fun.
Like we're not doing dinnerevery time we'll go, you know,
we live in Baltimore,so we'll pop up to Philly
or down to DC or findsomething fun to do.
So we try to make it fun.
It's not we're not going to thesame place every time.
And and you know, we will doone off occasion.
Like if we know Grammy is upfor an extra night, like,
good for us.
We got two date nights inone month.
(40:47):
Yeah. Yes.
So I think fun.
Yeah.
And I think just thatflexibility, like you said, have
maybe even just adapt how you'rekind of looking at it that truth
be told, you know, youcan't watch what relationships
look like kind of pre-canceror the early side may not
(41:07):
look like what it lookslike now.
And so we can either kind ofgo, well, I guess we can't do it
because it can't be the exactsame way as before, or we can
kind of have that flexibility,the adaptability.
And you know what it lookslike now.
And can that still be okayeven though it's a little bit
different a little schedule.
Yeah. Yeah.
(41:27):
You gotta find your way inwhat works for you and
what works for you mightnot work for someone else.
And that's okay.
You know, my husband and I,we love to travel, and we would
go on weekends andall of these things
before we got married.
And, you know, now that we havekids, it's just it's
not that easy.
You know, we love to pick up andjump on a plane, but that's
not going to happen with ourchildren.
So, you gotta you gottafigure out what what works best
(41:50):
for the both of you.
Yeah, absolutely.
And just as my own kindof soapbox, I know that
also applies everyone to sex.
What it look like?
Probably pre-K, when you had allthe free time and you
didn't have little onesin the house kind of
roaming around.
Amen to that.
You know, could it be differentif they're just going to walk in
(42:13):
and don't know how to knock?
So you solutely creative.
Yes, 100%.
Tell my husband that, hey, okay.
Just that way.
You sometimes.
Yeah.
And I think it'sso many of us do because like
you said, we're spendingso much energy, so much time
(42:36):
that it's like, sometimesit feels like it's
one more thing I have to addto my list of things that I have
to do.
But gosh, that is one ofthe things that I have seen
just on the professionalside, helps parents actually
be able to flourishso we can get a little bit
more of that physical intimacyas well, like kind of move,
(42:56):
you know, it relieves someof that pressure and it does,
you know, maybe it's like Isaid, creative.
It's like a quickiein the garage because it's
just like, this is the timethat we have like any,
any other.
I mean, it's only I mean,you can schedule that too.
It doesn't have to bethe same time.
You can meet in the garageone week and then, you know,
the next.
We can be in the bathroom.
(43:17):
Like, you can make it fun.
I know, I love it, so, hey,where do you guys been listening
to? What?
I'm telling you.
Thank you, thank you.
You're welcome.
I.
Any time anybody else wants meto tell their their spouse
to to send a way they love it.
(43:39):
Okay, so as we wrap up here,what are the questions that I
love to ask my guest is thatif you had access, I'm.
I'm a big back to the futurefan.
So if you had access toa Delorean and you should
go back in time.
Not to necessarilychange something and rewrite
history, but to goback to yourself at a
particular age or a particulartime in your life and offer
(44:01):
yourself something, whether it'sa word of advice, phrase, a hug.
When would you go back to?
What would you offer yourself?
That's a beautiful question andyou have no idea.
But we are huge.
Back to the future fans here inin the other room right here,
we have a back to the futureposter on the wall.
(44:21):
You really love it. Yes.
I would probably take myselfback to college and,
I had a great I had an amazingtime in college, but I was also
trying to find myself and didn'treally understand who I was.
I think, oh, man, what would Itell myself?
(44:44):
Just that everything'sgoing to be okay.
Like the life that you dream ofand that you want for yourself
is in the future.
So just take a breath andjust know that everything's
going to work outhow you want it to work out.
Yeah, I love that.
And I wonder too, if inthat moment and for anybody
listening, it does kind ofrelieve a little bit
(45:06):
of that pressure to kind ofalways be on it.
And just like that, that worry,that fear driven,
kind of like you mentioned,control.
Going back to that,that piece of it just gave us
a little bit of a permissionto be like, you know,
we're gonna, you know, you know,and you know, what I found
is like, it always does.
It always works outwhether you're going through
(45:27):
something that you think is theworst thing in your
life, like on the other end,there's always light and there's
always beauty and everythingthat you go through.
And no matter what's happenedto me, that's always the same
message.
At the end of the day,I love that.
Awesome.
Okay, so now one of my favoriteparts in the show of
shameless plug.
(45:48):
So I know, you know, we can saya couple times as far
as your brand and yourwebsite, tell us what services,
what products, that youwanted to share with parents.
How can they find you and getconnected?
Absolutely.
So our first line is abreastfeeding line.
So think breastfeedingessentials.
Nipple, nipple shield,hot and cold breast therapy
(46:13):
packs, lactation massagers,nipple, nipple balm, silver
nursing cups, anything thatyou would use on your
breastfeeding journey.
We sell and it's justmore beautiful.
My website is w w w dot.
We are lamelo.com.
(46:33):
That's l e low elo and we areon Instagram.
We are LaMelo.
Wonderful.
I gotta ask, where did the namecome from?
Money question okay, so LaMeloand to be honest, I don't know
if I'm saying it properly.
It's a French word.
And what it means is the tint.
(46:55):
It's really.
Yes, I love it.
So a little on wordsfor all this mamas out there.
Yeah. Yes.
And as always, anybodylistening, we'll make sure
all of that is linkedin our show notes.
So you can definitelyget connected if that
resonates or you want to gift itto somebody who's expecting,
(47:15):
because it can be superduper helpful because as we
talked about, breastfeedingcan be really hard.
There's a lot ofextra stuff that 100%.
We have a beautiful boxthat comes in, it comes in
a linen keepsake box for baby.
So all of our accessoriescome in the box, and then
(47:36):
you can also keep the boxto keep all of your precious
memories for your baby in it.
It's locks.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
So make sure to check that out.
Everyone, where are you?
Thank you so much for beingwilling to share your recipe.
I've got my, I'll share the helpwith the fridge I hope you love.
(47:57):
Yes, I, I mean, they've gotall good stuff.
And then our family laughs I'msure we will.
And I'm so thankful.
Also for you being willingto chat, unfiltered
and ride sharing that this isreally hard.
And there are a lot of thingsthat we should talk more about.
So I appreciate you beingwilling to share your story.
(48:19):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having me.
I had an amazing time.
Awesome.
Well, thank you everyone fortuning in.
We will see you next time.
If you or anyone that you knowis struggling with any of
the topics that we discussed intoday's episode, make sure
to check out our show notesfor support and resources.
You can get help.
(48:40):
Thanks again for joining uson today's episode of
The Real Family Eats.
If you're a parent readyto share your real life
parenting story, make sure toreach out to us and our website
found in the show notes.
And that goes for today's recipesocial media's support
and resources.
All of that can be foundin our show notes,
so make sure to check them outand make sure to follow, like,
(49:04):
share, subscribe, and stayup to date on all things
the real family.
I hope you'll join us next timefor more food for thought
and thoughtful food!Enjoy your eats!
But you don't understand whatbeing a parent is or what
(00:03):
that means, until you holdthat title and you actually have
a child of your own.
Hey, everyone.
Thanks for joining me.
My name is Reesa and I'myour host.
We are talking to real familiesabout real stories.
(00:26):
Here on the real family Eatswhere we've got food for thought
and thoughtful food.
So let's eat.
Welcome back everyone.
Thank you so much for joiningus today on The Real Family Eat.
(00:47):
I'm excited for today's episode.
I have Courtney here who hasgraciously joined us to
chat today.
Hi, Courtney, thank you so muchfor being here.
Hi, Reesa thank you so muchfor having me.
Yes, I am excitedfor this recipe.
I've never tried it, so I'msuper excited to kind of
see what it's all about.
But before we get started,for anybody who doesn't
(01:09):
know you, can you introduceyourself for us?
Yes, absolutely.
I'm pretty easy.
I'm a wife, I'm a mom,I'm a step mom, and I am
the founder and CEO of LaMelo,which is a postpartum
accessories company.
We're we're taking allof those steel and sterile
breastfeeding accessoriesand postpartum accessories
(01:30):
and making them beautifulfor moms.
Wonderful.
I love it, and I check some ofsome of that out and it is
really beautiful.
So just F.Y.I.
And we'll get to hearmore about that,
in a little bit.
So before we jump in,can you tell us what recipe
are you sharing with our parentstoday and why did you
choose this one?
(01:51):
Yes. Okay.
So I'm sharing my energyBowl recipe.
And the reason for that isI make these all the time.
My kids love them.
My husband loves them,I love them, they're a
great snack and they'resuper easy.
I'm all about conveniencebecause I'm busy all the time
and you literally just throweverything into a bowl
(02:12):
and mix it all together.
They're amazing.
Okay, well, I can do that.
Can you give me the overviewof the ingredients that you
like to use?
And I will get mixingwhile we chat.
Awesome.
So I love to use oatmeal.
I love to use coconut flakes,cranberries, and then a
nut butter.
(02:32):
So one thing that'sso amazing about this recipe
is that you can throwwhatever you want in there.
It can be peanut butter,almond butter, sunflower butter.
You can throw chocolate chipsin there.
You can throw peanuts,almonds, really whatever
you want.
And they just they taste so goodevery time.
So. Okay.
Just so easy.
And anything that you haveon hand, you just throw
(02:53):
it in the bowl and in the fridgeand they last.
They're like a great breakfastor great snack on the go
for the family.
And I love that I love theadaptability because I have
you know I imagine if any familyis there like the ones
that I know, there's, there's,you know sometimes you've got
dietary requirementsand whatnot, things that
(03:14):
kids will eat and won't eat.
And so I love thatwe can kind of be very moldable
in that way.
Yes, absolutely.
I had a friend come over and Imade them for her because
she doesn't eat dairy.
And, they were like agreat challenge, just like,
oh my gosh, these are so good.
I was like, right, I knowyou can just you can literally
make them whatever and make themhowever you want.
(03:34):
Love it.
Okay.
Yeah, I can do that.
I can throw in a bowl andmix like I, I am not
by any means.
So bless your heart.
But I am about simple and easy.
The easier the better for me.
Love it.
Okay, so while we chat,why do this rather.
(03:55):
I know one of the storiesthat you kind of alluded to it
a little bit as far asyour journey getting to opening
your brand.
And so I'd love to kind of heara little bit more about what
your experience was like.
And some of that journey throughpostpartum, specifically.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I had my first child.
(04:17):
So I am a step mom, and I lovebeing a mom.
I, my daughter is nine.
And she's been such a blessingto her life.
But I had my first son win thatin 2019. And, I just I
really struggled with thepostpartum phase.
I think I was very uneducatedand I didn't do my research.
(04:42):
And when I had him,I just remember not wanting
to leave the hospital was thefirst thing.
And I was so scared to leavethe hospital knowing that
I had to go home and take careof this baby.
And then when I got home,I just felt so.
It was such an out of bodyexperience for me, like
I wasn't used to how mybody felt.
(05:04):
I, I didn't know how tocare for this baby.
My hormones were going crazy.
I just my emotions wereall over the place and it was
really tough for me to not feellike myself.
And.
Yeah, and it was, it was just,it was a struggle for me
that I didn't, that I wasn'texpecting.
And I think that is probablywhat the hardest part
(05:24):
was, is that it wasn'tsomething that I expected
and it was.
And then it had to besomething that I dealt with.
Okay, so I heard you mentionkind of not expecting, was there
something that maybe becauseone of the things that I've
heard before is that,you know, maybe what's
advertised, what you seein the books or maybe what
(05:45):
your friends or yourfamily tells you isn't always
the full picture.
And so was that your experienceas far as maybe it wasn't
what you expected?
Yeah, absolutely.
You know, we're in the eraof Instagram and everything
looking pretty and perfectat all times.
And I had none of my friends hadhad babies yet either.
(06:06):
So there wasn't really anythingto go off of.
And I just hadn't heard anythingabout the struggles through
postpartum.
All I saw was, pictureson Instagram and moms loving
their baby feeling great.
You know, looking amazing andready and walking around
and just carrying their babyand just being so happy.
(06:27):
And that's I guess it wasthe feeling for me
of not feeling happy insideor understanding why I wasn't
feeling that way,which is really tough for me.
Okay, can you say a little bitmore about this?
Yeah, it was just, you know, I,I didn't have that sense of,
of happiness when, when I waswith my, my baby at first
(06:51):
and I struggled to understandhow to take care of him.
And I think it was it wasself-doubt that I was placing
on myself that made it tough.
And I wasn't giving myselfgrace, and I was trying
to control the situation,and I had to learn that
as time goes on, you realizeand you understand,
(07:13):
and your mother intuitionkicks in and you don't
know how to take care of yourbaby.
And it's just somethingthat you learn as you go.
But I was trying to controlthat feeling so much
as I entered into postpartum,that it made it tough for me
to just kind of go with the flowand navigate those feelings
that I had, rather than whatI thought that I should have
(07:34):
felt like.
And so I think you mentionedsuch a great point and I wanted
to circle back if it's okaywith you, that idea of like
being happy because I think thatI know I can really I know
I've heard other moms, parentswhere there's almost this,
you know, disconnectbecause society, whomever
(07:58):
is kind of saying this is sucha magical time and like,
this is amazing.
And sunshine and rainbowsand unicorns and
all these things.
And then when you aren'thaving that same sensation,
like, I imagine just likebeing in that, in, I don't know
about you, but, you know,I definitely remember a time
(08:18):
where it's like, is this ais this a me problem?
Like, am I doingsomething wrong?
Or like, is theresomething wrong with me that
I don't feel all ofthis happiness and that joy?
Does that resonate with you?
Did you experience any of that?
100% yes.
You go into this experiencethinking that you're
(08:39):
going to have this specificfeeling of when you hold
your baby for the first time,and then when you don't
have that feeling, you feellike something's wrong with you,
not with your baby, with you.
And I just remember my soncoming out and him being placed
in my arms.
And it was like such anout-of-body experience.
Like, you know, I knewI was supposed to feel happy
and joy, but I just felt almostlike awkward withholding
(09:02):
because I had never obviously,I carried him for the last
nine months, but it was justthis human that I didn't know,
and I wasn't havingthose feelings of complete joy
when I when I was holding him.
And it was scary for me. Yeah.
And I imagined and so wasthat something that you
(09:23):
were able to kind of expressto anyone, or was there
maybe even like a stigmaor a worry about
expressing like,I don't feel joy when I'm
holding this baby.
Yeah, for sure.
I was scared to say something.
Honestly, even to my husband.
And, you know, we talk abouteverything.
We have such great,amazing, open communication.
(09:43):
But in that moment whenI didn't feel that way,
I was so scared to saysomething.
And I think that's probably whyI was so scared to leave
the hospital is because I didn'twant to have to go home
and like, face those emotionson my own.
And I just wasn't sure how toprocess it in the moment
and, understand what thatfeeling was because
I'd never gone through itbefore. Yeah.
(10:06):
And so I'm curious for younow, looking back on it,
or maybe, maybe you had thatinsight closer to it, of just
like where, where did thatcome from for you?
Kind of what was the function?
What was the role ofthat awkwardness and of
just like, I, I don'tfeel comfortable taking this
(10:26):
baby home and kind ofbeing in that or even just
the propensity because I heardyou mentioned, like very
specifically, I didn'tblame my baby.
I totally just I took that on,like, for you.
Did you do you know,kind of where that came from
or why that was your instinct?
Well, I think I've done alot of growing since I become
a mom.
My son is six now, and so it'sbeen six years, and now I'm
(10:48):
more in tune with my emotionsand how I handle my emotions
were at that stage in my life.
I didn't process my emotionswell, so it was hard
for me to deal with somethingof that nature and an emotion
that big when I didn't knowhow to process my emotions
at that point either.
And so now, looking back on itand thinking, okay, well,
(11:11):
if I was to go through thatsituation again, it's a
little different because I'ma mom now and I understand
how that feeling felt for me.
But but it was just a timeand place in my life,
and I think I was just naiveto the to the fact
of being a mom and what amom meant, that I wasn't able to
to handle how I was feeling.
(11:33):
And, you know, I thinkthat makes a ton of sense.
And, you know, I'm kind ofgoing back to what you said.
I know you mentioned then andthere was this urge,
this instinctive like controland that felt out of control.
And I'm wondering like you canlet me know if I'm way off base
here, like if your bodyis just going, I don't know how
to deal with this.
And so the only waythat makes sense to me is like,
(11:54):
what can I control andhow can I control
as much of this as possible?
Absolutely.
And I think that's a lot ofkind of how I went through life
when I was younger is like,what can I control?
And and if I could control it,then I would latch on to it.
And if I couldn't,I would kind of I would push
away from it.
Yeah.
And how do you free you know,I know you can only
(12:15):
probably speak about your ownexperience, but I
how do you break out of that.
Like how do you go from that?
I don't know what to dowith this.
I don't I'm not feelingall the feelings that maybe
people advertise.
And then I have to go homewith this child.
And I'm not really talking toanybody about it,
which I imagine is a reallylonely place to be in.
(12:38):
And so, like, how do youhow do you move through that.
Yeah.
You know, I it was tough.
And I think for me the breakthrough was so I when I was
in the hospitalI had a lactation consultant
come in and my breastswere so engorged I couldn't
feed my baby.
(12:59):
Like if she helped meput him on.
I could feed, but I couldn'tdo it on my own because my
my boobs were so engorgedand she was like, don't use
don't use a nipple shield.
It will ruin the baby's latch.
Don't use a pump because itwill ruin your milk supply.
And that scared me so muchwhen she said those things
to me, because she's supposedto be the expert.
(13:20):
So as yeah, I'm like,okay, well, I should
listen to her.
So I remember going homeand I was in so much pain and
I called my sister and she waslike, Courtney, you have to
listen to your body and listento yourself and like,
what's going to be good for youand for the baby.
And that was kind of likea breakthrough moment for me and
understanding, like,I have to be the one to
(13:42):
control how I'm feeling andcontrol, what I'm doing for my
baby and realizethat I'm his mom and I am.
And I can figure this outand I can be a good mom
to him. So, I did pump afterI talked to her, and I felt
immediate relief,and I was like, okay, like,
she's right.
I do need to listen to myselfand to my intuition and jump in
(14:05):
and do what I think is best,rather than worrying about what
somebody else would door worrying about what
somebody else might thinkand understand that I am his
mom and I can do what's bestfor him and for myself.
Yeah.
Did you find that there was any,you know, even after that,
any pushback or maybeunsolicited words from others
(14:29):
of like, what you should bedoing, how you should
be feeding them, etc.,etc., etc..
To be honest, I, you know, Ikeep a close circle and I'm
very lucky that my circle isvery supportive.
So I didn't really have anyone,you know, tell me, you know,
this is how you should bedoing something.
(14:50):
But I know that that's whata lot of moms go through.
And that's really tough.
And, you know, followingsocial accounts on Instagram,
there's people who will tell youto do certain do things
a certain way, and you thinkthey should you should
believe them because they'rethe expert.
And I think for anyonewho's out there who is not a mom
and is maybe an expecting mom,to remember that, you know,
(15:12):
that's their opinion.
But you have to dowhat's best for you and make the
decision, that's goingto be right for you and
your baby.
And imagine how that can beso tough.
Like you said, in the midst ofprofessionals telling you
that it's supposed to looka certain way or you're
supposed to do a certain thing,you've got social media kind of
(15:32):
telling you this is whatit's supposed to look like,
or what to do or what not to do,but to kind of walk that line
of being able to say, like yousaid, kind of trust
your own body and be ableto kind of trust that
instinct when, you know,I imagine there are
lots of people out therethat have learned,
(15:53):
have been kind of trainedto tune that out and to not pay
attention to that and to kind ofpay attention to all these
external inputs.
Yeah.
You know, when you becomea first time mom, you've
never done it before.
So you feel like you shouldbe able to trust those people.
But if you're feelingin your gut, and I think
that's really when I startedto trust my gut the most is when
I became a mom.
(16:14):
If you feel likesomething's off, like you have
to listen to that for sure.
Did that come like an overnightfor you, or was that a process
to kind of get to the the guttrusting?
Yeah, I think it was definitelya process.
You know, a few thingshad to happen.
And as I realized, okay, like,you know, I was feeling
(16:35):
a certain way and it took mea long time to change something.
And then once I did,it was better.
Over time, as I continueto do that, I realized,
okay, like this is my guttelling me that something is off
and something needs to changeand I need to listen to that.
Yeah.
Is there any like, hot tipsthat you have found ways to kind
(16:56):
of advocate for your own good,if you will, in spite of
maybe what others say?
Or I don't know about anyhot tips, I think you just,
it's really about trustingyourself and and believing
in yourself that you aredoing the right thing.
(17:17):
And you know what?
If you do somethingand it doesn't help or
it doesn't work,you can always go back or
you can try something different.
There's no there's no finalityin any decision you make.
So you can try somethingdifferent.
And I think that's sucha good point because I think
what at least what I've,I've heard, I've experienced
(17:38):
that there's this we inthis pressure that as parents
that we feel like, oh my gosh,I don't want to I don't want
to mess this up.
It's another human being, like,I'm in charge of this,
this whole nother human being.
And I don't I don't wantto mess it up.
And so then there's thiskind of, maybe almost fear that,
(17:59):
you know, this is it.
I kind of my one sidedto kind of even zoom out
and say, you know, I canchange course, and that's okay.
Can be really difficult, likein the moment to kind of
rationalize, especially becausethere is so much of that, like,
I don't want to miss this trialwith like, I don't know
how many times I've heardthat from from parents.
(18:20):
Totally.
You know, I still saythat to myself as I'm raising
my children, that, you know,the things that I do,
I'm like, oh, I don't want tomess them up.
Like any reactionthat I can have, you know,
you don't know what those corememories are that gets stuck
in their brain that they that,you know, transform them
into the people thatthey become.
So it is scary, but it'salso such a blessing
(18:41):
to be a parent and to be ableto raise these precious
little humans into, you know,the amazing adults that they're
going to become.
And you know, what I alwayssay is like, like your baby.
I know it feels so crazywhen they're so little
and you're making thesedecisions, but they're
never going to remember.
So just remember that.
That when they're a baby,they're never going to remember
(19:01):
what happened.
So make mistakes.
Yeah.
And I think even, you know,talking about mistakes, the guys
to be able like even asthey're older you make mistakes
and to kind of modelthat and like yeah I totally
messed that one up.
Can I try again and you know,being able to show your kids
(19:22):
that idea of even justbeing like, yeah, I'm human too.
And I make mistakes and I'mlearning.
Just as you're learningto be a human, I'm learning
how to be a parent.
Absolutely.
I was very naive as to whatparenting was when I became
a parent.
You know, I was always inlike the dreamland
phase, like, oh,I want to be a mom.
I always wanted to be a mom,even when I was little.
(19:44):
But you don't understand whatbeing a parent is or what
that means, until you holdthat title and you actually have
a child of your own.
And I was very naiveto the fact of how hard it was
and what it means.
And to raise these humanswho don't like to listen to you
and have their own mindsand their own personalities
and that, you know, my daughteris completely different from
(20:06):
my son, and I have to raise themdifferent ways and talk to them
different ways because they'reso different.
And, when people say it's thetoughest thing in the world,
I don't think you cancomprehend that when you're
not a parent.
But then once you become that,that's when you start
to understand.
Yeah.
Was there any particular maybehandful of things that for you,
(20:30):
like you said before you werea parent, you were like, oh, I'm
going to do this and this iswhat it's going to look like.
And then that you foundas you became a parent,
it's like very different.
Yeah.
I think I just thought that itwas going to be like so easy
and so fun.
And I would just like carrymy kid around.
You know, it's actually a reallyfunny story.
So my step daughter, I met herwhen I was, when she was two
(20:52):
and she has like the coolest,easiest kid ever.
My husband and I, we took hereverywhere like she was
so chill.
She was always happy.
And I always tell my husbandif her name is Grace.
I was like, if Grace was likeour children, I would not
have married you really.
(21:15):
She was amazing.
And our children are they'rethey're very easy kids, but,
you know, they have some sassto them and they're not as
easygoing as she, but she was.
So I had this notion like, oh mygosh, like, this is going to
be so great.
Like, let's just have a millionof them.
And that's not the casefor sure.
Yeah, yeah.
(21:36):
Is there, is there a particular,maybe challenge that you
have seen thus far that's reallykind of like humbled you
if you will.
Like, do you have a particularmoment that's really like
iconic for you?
Oh gosh.
I'm trying to think oflike the one iconic moment,
(21:56):
which nothing reallycomes to mind, but I think
my daughter humbles me a lot,because she, she's three
and she's just, you know, she'ssassy, but, like, she's also
a little, you know, sheshe doesn't want to be told
what to do.
And I, you know, like to run.
(22:20):
I wouldn't say attention, but,you know, I expect my kids to be
respectful.
And I have a tough time,like holding my my balance
with her and and understandingher energy levels
because they're so differentthan the rest of the family.
So the way I have toreact to her, I really have
to take a breath and like,take a step back and just
(22:41):
gather myself to handleher emotions and the type
of personality that she has.
Which is so much differentthan my son.
And it's just, you know, it'ssuch a different parenting
experience between thetwo of them.
And I'm sure it will alwaysbe that way.
So, you know, until they'readults and even then.
(23:05):
But, you know, it's just it'sit's crazy how tough it can
be in different instanceswith different children.
And, but I think that'salso important to remind
other parents of, like,you know, you have to understand
kind of the personalitythat you're, that your child has
and be able to to relate to thatand come to their level.
(23:27):
Yeah.
With that, a difficult shiftto kind of go from maybe,
okay, I'm starting to get inthe hang of this with your sign,
you know, okay, I had tolearn this, this new
personality.
And then in comes the third onewho it sounds like, you know, is
is very different.
Was that a difficult.
So you have to kind ofgo to that, like you said,
(23:49):
you know, parenting and doing itdifferently and kind of
figuring out what works for her.
Yeah.
And, you know, I thinkas she gets older is
how it's become more difficult.
When she was a baby, it wasn'treally an issue, but it's
more of like now thatshe can talk and she can
express her feelings and she canhave her own opinions.
My son is very like zestfor life, always happy, like so
(24:14):
full of energy, you know, justis like full of love
and like wants to giveyou kisses and hug 24/7.
And my daughter is the completeopposite, you know, she's very
reserved.
She, you know, if you ask herhow her day is, she usually
says, not good wheremy son is like the best day ever
every day.
So it's more like, you know,not making her feel bad
(24:35):
for or having, I don'twant to call her negative,
but just having a more,you know, reserved
personality than than my sondoes.
And sometimes it can be.
I just want her to, like,just be positive and be,
you know, told me that she had agreat day and tell me
about her day.
Like she won't open it up.
(24:56):
You really got to dig with her.
Whereas my son, he will talkyour ear off like he does not
stop talking all day long.
And for her, maybe that's whyshe doesn't talk.
Because he's always talking.
But for her, youreally have to dig and you have
to pull things out of her.
And you know, you got to getto her level and understand
where her energy level is.
And it's just it's it's acompletely different
(25:18):
relationship, between betweenthe two of them.
And that's okay.
And obviously, you know, like,I love her for who she is.
And I just have to remember thatthat's who she is.
And and she's meantto be that way.
Yeah.
And that's such a great reminderbecause I think even that,
you know, it's that leveling upwhen you aren't a parent,
(25:40):
then you become a parent.
That's like, that's a wholenew challenge and a
whole new bag.
And then when you adda different personality,
you know what?
Maybe work for one kid doesn'talways work for the other.
And it can be, you know,I think for for a lot of
parents that are now addingsecond, third, fourth, that just
kind of that shift of like,hey, I was just kidding
(26:01):
and hanging this and like,I was doing really good.
And then now was like,this isn't work to.
Right?
Totally, totally.
Yeah, absolutely.
I thank you for letting me gofor the Segways so that,
but I wanted to kind ofbring us back, to some of
that postpartum journey that youhad in you mentioned kind of the
(26:22):
breastfeeding.
And I know just, you know,based on some of your products,
was there, a part in your,your journey even just,
you know, talking aboutbreastfeeding?
Let's start there.
That maybe was challengingand was a little bit difficult.
That maybe was an inspirationfor kind of where you decided
to go with, with your businessand whatnot.
(26:45):
Yeah.
So my business all startedwhen I was using a nipple
shield is kind of how my ideasparked. Okay.
And so I didn't usingnipple shield for the
typical reasons that lactationconsultants typically tell you
to use one for, likeif your baby has inverted
or if you have inverted nipples,your baby has a tongue, tie
(27:06):
or latch issues.
I used one specifically becausemy nipples were so tender
from the baby feedingall the time.
I just needed a little bitof relief.
And it really helped me.
And, that was a tip my sistergave me.
But when the nipple shieldsare clear and I would
always lose it and it wouldfall, you know, on the ground
(27:26):
or getting stuckin the couch or, you know,
in the middle of the night.
I couldn't find it in the bed.
And it was so frustrating to me.
And I was like, where arethe colored nipple shields?
This is so crazy.
And I couldn't find one.
I couldn't find one anywhere.
And I, I'm always coming upwith crazy, you know,
product ideas and tellingmy husband he's like,
you are wild.
You know, I can try and make itinvent something new for
(27:48):
anything.
And I was like, but like, therereally isn't a color
nipple shield on the marketbecause I can't be the only mom
losing my nipple shield all day,all night long.
And, so I decided to go for it,and I made a colored
nipple shield, and,that was kind of the
starting point of my idea behindthe brand. Okay.
(28:12):
And then I was kind of thinkinglike, well, you know,
out of all of these accessoriesthat I use and I and every woman
uses postpartum, they'realso stale and sterile
and clinical.
And why can't they be beautifuland pretty, like, if there's
any one who deserves prettyaccessories that bring
(28:33):
a little bit of joy?
It's a new mom.
We always put so much emphasison the baby and what the baby
has and, you know, cute clothesfor the baby and like,
having beautiful nurseries.
And we always forget aboutthe mom and like, how
the mom's been taking care ofand the self-care and the
self-love that she deserves.
And I just wanted to createa company for moms
(28:56):
that when they.
I just hope that when they useour accessories, that they are
reminded of their beautyand their worth as a mom,
and it just brings in alittle extra joy through their
postpartum journey.
And can you say a little bitmore about that?
Like, we pay so much attention,there's so many new things
(29:17):
and kind of doting on baby,but that mom, why do you
think that is?
You know, I don't know it,to be honest.
I do think it's shiftinga little bit to the mom, because
I think society is realizingthat, you know, this woman,
the mom is the one who just didall the work, carry the baby,
brought this baby intothe world, is the one
who is the main caretaker ofthe baby.
(29:39):
In the first few months,and so I think there is
a little bit of a shift, but I,you know, past society,
I think it was more about,you know, it's the newness
of the baby.
And, you know, everybodyloves babies.
How could you not love a baby?
So the focus just was shifted tothe baby, when really the
(30:00):
focus should be on the mom.
Why why is that so importantfor you.
Let's focus you on on momas well I absolutely you know
the transition into postpartum,it can be tough and it's
not tough for everyone,but it can be tough for
for many moms.
(30:21):
And we need to put themental health and self-love
and self security backonto the mom and make sure
that the mom is being takencare of.
Just like, you know, there's thesame like, if you can't
take care of your baby,if you don't take care
of yourself.
And from the get go, thethe message needs to be
that we need to take care ofthe mom and make sure
(30:42):
that she's in a good placeso that the baby can be
in a good place as well.
Yeah.
Do you find that that wassomething that you struggled
with, even like giving,giving yourself permission,
getting that permission,whatever that look like for
you of even just that,like you said, that self-love,
compassion, that grace was thatchallenging for you?
(31:03):
Was that a difficult oneto kind of get you?
Yeah.
Wasn't I think it can be formany moms, because when
you have that, when you haveyour baby, the energy
and everything that you think ofbecomes about the baby.
And it is easy to forgetabout yourself.
And I think maybe that's partof the reason why it's all about
the baby is because I says momsdo it too, because our motherly
(31:26):
instinct kicks in and it becomesnot about us anymore, becomes
about our family and about,you know, how we need to care
for our new baby.
And so being able to bringsomething to the market
that just reminds a mom that,you know, she needs to remind
to remember to take careof herself as well is really
(31:47):
important to me.
And I want, you know,that shifter to be made
in, in the world to make surethat we are focusing on the moms
just as much as we'refocusing on the babies.
Yeah.
Do you find that you everreceived the message,
whether it was from yourself,from anybody else, that
that shifting, that takingthat time in, in high priority
(32:10):
was selfish?
I don't think so.
I don't think I, I don't feellike I ever received
that message.
It was just something that Ikind of came to a realization
over time.
You know, I think I thinkI put the pressure on myself
to feel that way.
(32:31):
Not necessarily anyone else.
It was my own.
It was my own perceptionof being a mom and this
responsibility that I hadnow that I was putting
on myself, it wasn't necessarilyanyone else.
Gotcha.
And can you say a little bitmore about that?
Like, what was your brainkind of trying to convince
you of?
Like, I have to do these thingsbecause if I don't have,
(32:55):
what would it mean?
Or what would it sayabout you or your abilities
or whatnot?
Yeah, I think it was it for me,it was just more about,
you know, the the new rolethat I had.
It wasn't necessarilyanything that I felt or that
anyone was telling me.
I just knew now that as amom, it's kind of like
(33:15):
my control part kicking inof like, I now have to care
for this baby.
And it's not just it'snot about me anymore.
It's not about me.
It's about it's about my roleas a mother.
Yeah.
And I think that's so.
Gosh, I've heard that somany times where that is,
you know, even if it doesn'tcome externally.
(33:37):
But just like you said, like aan internal kind of this is now
my responsibility.
So much so that I feel likemany parents kind of go to that
extreme of just sacrificingso much of themselves,
so much of their wellnessand their their own identities,
even, or this idea that I haveto just give 100%.
(34:01):
You know, even at this pointin my life, I have to make sure
that I have time on my calendarto take care of myself.
You know, that I'm working out,that I have, you know,
I have a chunk of timeduring the day because that's
what makes me feel good.
Like when I can exercise,that's good for my brain
and for my body.
And that's what I know makes mefeel good.
And so I need to make sureand plan that out.
(34:23):
Now, I at the same time, I'mthinking about what we're having
for dinner, all the laundrythat needs to be done, you know,
the bathrooms that need tobe cleaned.
I need to go to the grocerystore, like all of these
other things.
You know, I gotta pick upmy kids from school.
Like, we got to do homework.
All these things are goingthrough my brain
at the same time.
But I have to make sure that.
And if I didn't planthat time out, it would never
(34:44):
get done, because I'mnot thinking about that.
Like the self-care piece you'retalking about.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah.
Is there something that for you,you have found really is kind of
the optimal kind of fillyour cup that you're like go to.
Oh man.
Well my husband and I do datenight every three weeks
(35:05):
which we also had to plan outwhich has been really important
to us.
So every three weeks it's onthe calendar like it's a
non-negotiable.
We get a baby sitterand we go out and it's not
like that, okay.
Let's, you know, it beit was a thing where it wasn't
happening.
So we weren't going out becausewe never had a baby sitter.
And I was like, we need to planthis and put this on
(35:26):
the calendar that everythree weeks we do this
because if we don't, it'snot going to get done.
And so that is like a fillyour cup for me for sure.
So any time, you know, one onone with my husband.
Also early bedtime I loveearly bedtime because that
time from 7 to 10 is justme and him.
(35:47):
Which is really importantfor our relationship to,
you know, talk and be togetherwithout the distraction of kids.
Can you see a little bitmore about, at least in
your experience, whythat has been so beneficial
and such a clear cut.
Because again I can't tell youthe number of like
empty nesters.
It's like oh we'll getto that later.
And then by the timekids are out of the house
(36:09):
they're like, I know, I don'tknow who this person is.
And so for you, kind ofwhy was that so important
that you were like, we have toput this on the calendar?
Yeah.
You just gave me this sensewhen you said that because it's
so true.
It's like, you know, youhave these kids and then you
lose yourself in yourrelationship because
all you talk about is the kidsall day.
(36:29):
We need to go to sports.
We need to do this.
Do we want to put do we want toput them in dance?
Like, what are we going to dothis weekend?
It becomes all about keepingthe kids busy and what the kids
schedule looks like,and you lose that relationship
with yourself and your partner.
And, you know, I, I have to givethe credit to my husband
because he is the best at this,at making sure that we
(36:50):
stay connected because itis easy to to to lose
sight of that and tolose that, that connection
piece. So, you know,it's just it's become important
for him, which makes itimportant for me.
And I am so grateful that thathas become, you know, one of
(37:10):
the things that we reallyfocus on, because if we
aren't connected and we're noton the same page and we
don't have good communication,we can't be good parents
for our kids.
Can you say more about that?
Because I think that'swhere sometimes people miss
that part.
That. Yeah.
So, you know, I said we can'tif we don't have good
communication and we aren'tconnected.
(37:32):
We can't be good co-parentsto our children and then
see that we are on the same page24 seven and that we see
the same message and that,you know, we have the
same rules, we stay onthe same ground.
And so they know that we area team and we are a unit.
They can't go to dad and sayone thing to try and get mom
(37:55):
to say the other thing,or vice versa.
It's always it's alwaysthe same message from whatever
parent that it's coming from.
Yeah.
Have you seen like is there aparticular moment, whether it's
your own self-care or yourrelationship, self-care and
self-love that, you've kind ofseen that benefit
(38:15):
or the rewards, if you will,from that priority, you know,
and in the investment,if you will, that you've
put into it.
I think the one thingthat my husband and I love
the most is seeing how lovingand caring and kind our children
are, you know, we are veryaffectionate towards one one, 1
to 1 another.
We love, you know, to kissand hug in front of the kids.
(38:37):
And our kids are like that too.
And, you know, they'revery sweet and they want
to hug everyone.
Sometimes other peopledon't want to be hugged.
Our kids are the onewho are going up hugging
everyone.
But they're so thoughtfuland they have, you know,
that piece of emotion to themthat we love, that they have.
We love that they're lovingand that they have big hearts
(38:58):
and you know that theywant to be they want to tell us
they love us, theygive us kisses.
And that's for every parentand not every families
like that.
And that's okay.
But for us, we like to seethat in our children.
Yeah.
And I think that's such animportant thing that sometimes
we forget is that the powerof modeling, that not just
(39:18):
kind of the do what I say,not what I do, but that
when they're actually seeing itlive in front of them and
have the impact and how muchit does actually get
internalized.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think it's there.
Yeah.
There's nothing better thanmodeling.
And, you know, the one thingthat I see every night about
(39:41):
with my kids when we goto sleep is when we put them
to bed.
It's like, what was thebest part of your day?
And I love ending the day,talking about what
their favorite thing wasabout that day.
And, you know, it leaves themon a positive note of going
to sleep and happy thoughtsin their in their head.
And I just I hope that,you know, that's something
that we never lose and thatthey remember to focus on the
(40:03):
good things and thepositive things throughout their
entire life.
Yeah. Okay.
So will you say though,because I've heard this one
before, that when you talk aboutscheduling your date night,
people go out.
That's so not romantic.
I totally I yeah, I understand,but you know, we try to
(40:24):
make it fun.
Like we're not doing dinnerevery time we'll go, you know,
we live in Baltimore,so we'll pop up to Philly
or down to DC or findsomething fun to do.
So we try to make it fun.
It's not we're not going to thesame place every time.
And and you know, we will doone off occasion.
Like if we know Grammy is upfor an extra night, like,
good for us.
We got two date nights inone month.
(40:47):
Yeah. Yes.
So I think fun.
Yeah.
And I think just thatflexibility, like you said, have
maybe even just adapt how you'rekind of looking at it that truth
be told, you know, youcan't watch what relationships
look like kind of pre-canceror the early side may not
(41:07):
look like what it lookslike now.
And so we can either kind ofgo, well, I guess we can't do it
because it can't be the exactsame way as before, or we can
kind of have that flexibility,the adaptability.
And you know what it lookslike now.
And can that still be okayeven though it's a little bit
different a little schedule.
Yeah. Yeah.
(41:27):
You gotta find your way inwhat works for you and
what works for you mightnot work for someone else.
And that's okay.
You know, my husband and I,we love to travel, and we would
go on weekends andall of these things
before we got married.
And, you know, now that we havekids, it's just it's
not that easy.
You know, we love to pick up andjump on a plane, but that's
not going to happen with ourchildren.
So, you gotta you gottafigure out what what works best
(41:50):
for the both of you.
Yeah, absolutely.
And just as my own kindof soapbox, I know that
also applies everyone to sex.
What it look like?
Probably pre-K, when you had allthe free time and you
didn't have little onesin the house kind of
roaming around.
Amen to that.
You know, could it be differentif they're just going to walk in
(42:13):
and don't know how to knock?
So you solutely creative.
Yes, 100%.
Tell my husband that, hey, okay.
Just that way.
You sometimes.
Yeah.
And I think it'sso many of us do because like
you said, we're spendingso much energy, so much time
(42:36):
that it's like, sometimesit feels like it's
one more thing I have to addto my list of things that I have
to do.
But gosh, that is one ofthe things that I have seen
just on the professionalside, helps parents actually
be able to flourishso we can get a little bit
more of that physical intimacyas well, like kind of move,
(42:56):
you know, it relieves someof that pressure and it does,
you know, maybe it's like Isaid, creative.
It's like a quickiein the garage because it's
just like, this is the timethat we have like any,
any other.
I mean, it's only I mean,you can schedule that too.
It doesn't have to bethe same time.
You can meet in the garageone week and then, you know,
the next.
We can be in the bathroom.
(43:17):
Like, you can make it fun.
I know, I love it, so, hey,where do you guys been listening
to? What?
I'm telling you.
Thank you, thank you.
You're welcome.
I.
Any time anybody else wants meto tell their their spouse
to to send a way they love it.
(43:39):
Okay, so as we wrap up here,what are the questions that I
love to ask my guest is thatif you had access, I'm.
I'm a big back to the futurefan.
So if you had access toa Delorean and you should
go back in time.
Not to necessarilychange something and rewrite
history, but to goback to yourself at a
particular age or a particulartime in your life and offer
(44:01):
yourself something, whether it'sa word of advice, phrase, a hug.
When would you go back to?
What would you offer yourself?
That's a beautiful question andyou have no idea.
But we are huge.
Back to the future fans here inin the other room right here,
we have a back to the futureposter on the wall.
(44:21):
You really love it. Yes.
I would probably take myselfback to college and,
I had a great I had an amazingtime in college, but I was also
trying to find myself and didn'treally understand who I was.
I think, oh, man, what would Itell myself?
(44:44):
Just that everything'sgoing to be okay.
Like the life that you dream ofand that you want for yourself
is in the future.
So just take a breath andjust know that everything's
going to work outhow you want it to work out.
Yeah, I love that.
And I wonder too, if inthat moment and for anybody
listening, it does kind ofrelieve a little bit
(45:06):
of that pressure to kind ofalways be on it.
And just like that, that worry,that fear driven,
kind of like you mentioned,control.
Going back to that,that piece of it just gave us
a little bit of a permissionto be like, you know,
we're gonna, you know, you know,and you know, what I found
is like, it always does.
It always works outwhether you're going through
(45:27):
something that you think is theworst thing in your
life, like on the other end,there's always light and there's
always beauty and everythingthat you go through.
And no matter what's happenedto me, that's always the same
message.
At the end of the day,I love that.
Awesome.
Okay, so now one of my favoriteparts in the show of
shameless plug.
(45:48):
So I know, you know, we can saya couple times as far
as your brand and yourwebsite, tell us what services,
what products, that youwanted to share with parents.
How can they find you and getconnected?
Absolutely.
So our first line is abreastfeeding line.
So think breastfeedingessentials.
Nipple, nipple shield,hot and cold breast therapy
(46:13):
packs, lactation massagers,nipple, nipple balm, silver
nursing cups, anything thatyou would use on your
breastfeeding journey.
We sell and it's justmore beautiful.
My website is w w w dot.
We are lamelo.com.
(46:33):
That's l e low elo and we areon Instagram.
We are LaMelo.
Wonderful.
I gotta ask, where did the namecome from?
Money question okay, so LaMeloand to be honest, I don't know
if I'm saying it properly.
It's a French word.
And what it means is the tint.
(46:55):
It's really.
Yes, I love it.
So a little on wordsfor all this mamas out there.
Yeah. Yes.
And as always, anybodylistening, we'll make sure
all of that is linkedin our show notes.
So you can definitelyget connected if that
resonates or you want to gift itto somebody who's expecting,
(47:15):
because it can be superduper helpful because as we
talked about, breastfeedingcan be really hard.
There's a lot ofextra stuff that 100%.
We have a beautiful boxthat comes in, it comes in
a linen keepsake box for baby.
So all of our accessoriescome in the box, and then
(47:36):
you can also keep the boxto keep all of your precious
memories for your baby in it.
It's locks.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
So make sure to check that out.
Everyone, where are you?
Thank you so much for beingwilling to share your recipe.
I've got my, I'll share the helpwith the fridge I hope you love.
(47:57):
Yes, I, I mean, they've gotall good stuff.
And then our family laughs I'msure we will.
And I'm so thankful.
Also for you being willingto chat, unfiltered
and ride sharing that this isreally hard.
And there are a lot of thingsthat we should talk more about.
So I appreciate you beingwilling to share your story.
(48:19):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having me.
I had an amazing time.
Awesome.
Well, thank you everyone fortuning in.
We will see you next time.
If you or anyone that you knowis struggling with any of
the topics that we discussed intoday's episode, make sure
to check out our show notesfor support and resources.
You can get help.
(48:40):
Thanks again for joining uson today's episode of
The Real Family Eats.
If you're a parent readyto share your real life
parenting story, make sure toreach out to us and our website
found in the show notes.
And that goes for today's recipesocial media's support
and resources.
All of that can be foundin our show notes,
so make sure to check them outand make sure to follow, like,
(49:04):
share, subscribe, and stayup to date on all things
the real family.
I hope you'll join us next timefor more food for thought
and thoughtful food!Enjoy your eats!
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