January 16, 2025 • 43 mins
After a career in finance, Daniela Sulek found herself at a crossroads, grappling with burnout during her third pregnancy. This pivotal experience led her to a transformative path of coaching and self-discovery.
On today's episode of the Real You Podcast, Daniela and I share a laugh about our shared journey from the logical world of financial planning to the more intuitive realm of coaching.
Her story is a powerful reminder of how life-altering events can guide us toward embracing acceptance and peace.
We explore the profound shift from living in fear and control to embracing the present moment. Daniela's insights shed light on the healing potential of releasing past attachments and future expectations, allowing us to find peace and personal growth.
We discuss how living in a neutral state can free us from emotional turmoil tied to unmet expectations. Daniela’s journey is a testament to the power of awareness and acceptance in overcoming life's challenges and finding fulfillment.
Join us as Daniela delves into the art of living with awareness rather than merely accumulating knowledge. She challenges the notion that constant information consumption equates to progress, instead advocating for facing fears and finding growth in the unknown.
Daniela emphasizes that true wisdom arises from embracing the present and listening to life's lessons.
Daniela's LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielasulek/
Daniela's Website:
https://danielasulek.com/
David's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-young-mba-indy/
David's Website: https://davidjyoung.me/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Real you Podcast.
This is episode number 28.
I'm David Young, your host.
I'm a LinkedIn content andbusiness coach.
I help coaches and solopreneursgrow their businesses through
better storytelling and contentcreation.
I launched this podcast inMarch of 2024 to spotlight
interesting people doing amazingthings, and today I'm joined by
Daniela Sulek.
Daniela helps leaders andvisionaries move into a
(00:22):
permanent state of peace.
She will share with us how onecan liberate themselves from the
mind and make a massive impactwhile fully enjoying each moment
of life.
Daniela, thanks for taking timeout of your schedule to join me
today.
Appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
My pleasure, Davey.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I was looking through we'llget into your coaching and the
mindset.
So I was looking through yourprofile earlier and I I saw that
you did financial planning andanalysis and I did too.
I couldn't help but laughbecause I feel like there's so
many reformed like accountingand finance people that have
moved into coaching and I just Ichuckled them and you did it
(00:57):
for quite a while and so did I,so I thought that was really I
thought that was reallyinteresting yeah, and I did the
same when I went to your profileand I saw financial planning.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Really, that is the only thing I did.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
My background is in finance from the University of
Toronto, and that's what I diduntil I quit Well, so I started
in sales, then I went tocustomer service and then when I
left customer service, then Imoved to finance and I did
finance for about Well.
I went to another company anddid it too.
So I guess I did it for about10 years total.
(01:31):
So that last job the funny partis that it does say financial
planning analysis.
It was a cost center accountingjob, but I didn't know that.
So I went through the wholeinterview process.
I interviewed with HR, with themanager, twice.
I even sat down because it wasan internal promotion.
So I sat down with the womanbecause I was going to be taking
her place, but she was stillgoing to be around, so she was
(01:52):
going to train me.
I had a 30-minute one-on-onewith her.
I thought I asked goodquestions to know what I was
getting into.
I said yes, got the offer.
It was great.
It was a pretty big promotionfor me at the time.
And so the two weeks went byofficial start date I go, sit
down.
A woman starts training me thevery first thing she does like
(02:13):
within 30 seconds she opens upher computer and she opens up a
journal entry like software.
And I was like, well, that'sodd, what's that have to do with
financial planning?
And I go what are you doing?
And she was like we're going todo 20 to 25 month-end closed
journal entries.
I was like I'm going to do what?
How come nobody mentioned this?
I don't want to do that.
(02:33):
And I remember walking downlater that day and said to my
new boss I was like I think youhired the wrong.
This is not.
I didn't sign up for this.
What are we doing?
I don't want to do this.
And he was like you didn'trealize.
It was like month-end close andaccounting.
I was like no, you guys calledit financial planning and
announced I thought I was goingto do like you know, forecasting
and like planning.
He was like you're going to dothat too.
I was like I know, but I don'twant to do any journal entries.
(02:56):
And it was 18.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
It was 18 months of pure torture oh yeah, so I did
the same also.
I didn't do a journal and justI prepared them and send them to
accounting, but yeah, most ofthe time was financial planning
and budgeting and analysis yeah,I had eight bosses because I
had eight cost centers, so itwas like having eight different
managers because they all wantedit done a different way.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
All it was was scheduling and rescheduling
meetings because their scheduleswere always just changing, and
so it was I work, I hate workingin the gray and I hate when
things change, so it just droveme absolutely crazy.
It was such a.
So it was I work, I hateworking in the gray and I hate
when things change, so it justdrove me absolutely crazy it was
such a terrible.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It was a terrible fit for me led you to where you are
today, you know, and becauseyou were frustrated, because you
hated it.
Now you are doing what you love, and but everything is perfect.
Everything is always the way itis it's supposed to be there
you go, yeah, because that's abig.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
So that's perfect segue.
That's a big part of what youtalk about and I am trying to
get on board and have been forseveral years.
It is a challenge, which Ithink it is for most people is
that acceptance of reality.
There's no good or bad, therejust is, and it's a great place
to be when you're there.
Hard to stay there, at leastfor me.
So how did you find it?
(04:03):
Is it something you've alreadyalways been interested in?
Did you stumble upon it?
What?
What was kind of the spark?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
no, it found me.
It found me.
You know, I, I had no ideaabout this stuff.
I was, yeah, really hardcore,very analytical, logical, I see
it, I believe it person planningand racing thoughts and
controlling and high achiever.
But then when I was pregnantwith my eighth, third child, my
(04:31):
body just really burned outbadly so I almost died.
So I started to changing myselfand working on myself so that
for 10 years I spent againcontrolling and healing and
doing all sorts ofself-improvement things and then
, as I say, like everythinghappens for a reason, things
starting happening to me, thingsstarting happening to I call it
(04:53):
, I sign up for you, can youcontrol nothing?
Masterclass, which means that Iliterally had involuntary,
uncontrollable events, sokundalini, out-of-body
experience, mind-wrapping, Imean, like black hole spirits
talking to me, so many, so muchstuff, and it really got me to
(05:16):
the real point of frustrationbecause I couldn't control it.
You cannot control spiritstalking to you, you cannot
control your out body, seeingyourself, uh, and I, it was
probably it.
Uh, it lasted about three yearsand I had to manage my business
.
I had to manage, you know, kidsand and the running household
(05:38):
and everything.
So it was pretty and there wereother things that really,
really, I was like okay, that'sso.
I knew what I needed to do.
I knew I had to not really justlike, not care and stop
controlling.
So I shifted into being awareEvery single moment I was at a
point is I either get crazy,like completely I go crazy, be
(06:03):
homeless, I die, I don't care,or I'll know the truth.
That's it.
Like I'm a very person, I'm aperson of extreme, like this or
that.
There was no.
I was at the point where that'sit Like.
It was, like I don't want tolive like this and I don't want
to.
That's it.
This is not happening anymore.
(06:24):
I don't want to live like thisand I don't want to.
That's it.
This is not happening anymore.
So a huge fear, a lot of fear, alot of fear, because when you
let go, when you just really arein the state of witnessing
what's happening a lot of fearand you are you need to be aware
of the fear and everything whatis coming up.
And you need to be aware of thefear and everything what is
(06:45):
coming up.
But over time, my thoughts gotquiet and my mind got quiet.
The emotions were removed, thesupernatural experiences stopped
happening, my businessaccelerated, my personal life
turned into harmoniousrelationships and I started
(07:05):
perceiving life differently.
So, instead of living in atime-space reality in terms of
past and future and space, Idon't have a thought of past.
I have some memories.
I know that it happened, butit's not like I am not attached
to it.
It's not like this person livedit, it's like someone else's
(07:27):
life.
So there is no emotionalattachment.
That's, by the way, how youheal any trauma, depression,
anything, because everything,what we experience, our whole
identity, lives on the level ofthe mind.
So the mind projects past andfuture and there is everything
you know about yourself, yourmemories, your experience, your
(07:50):
beliefs, your thoughts,everything you live through
everything and the mind andthat's every second of the time,
every split second of the daythat's being reinforced.
When the mind falls away, thereis nothing, there is just
present moment.
So I I cannot live in the pastand I am not able to plan
(08:11):
logistically yet.
I can put something in mycalendar and I know that it may
happen, but there is noattachment to it.
So there is no worry about thefuture, there are no challenges,
nothing.
It's full acceptance ofwhatever is is because I
perceive now life only throughthe present moment, only, really
only.
Everything else is an illusion,it's a perception of the mind.
(08:34):
So, so, accepting what is, youcannot accept and this is what
my message and this is what Iteach you cannot accept when you
are in the mind, in the mind,consciousness.
There needs to be shift intothe awareness and being aware,
because mind cannot accept.
Because when you accept, youare in the present moment.
(08:57):
And when you are in the presentmoment, there is no comparison
to anything, there is nocomparison to past and no
comparison to future.
When you live withoutexpectation and without
comparison, nothing is wrong.
Think about it.
Think about it.
If you do not compare your nowto anything else, nothing is
(09:18):
ever wrong.
You can have a fever, you canhave a cancer, but if you don't
compare it to I want to behealthy, then you're fine.
And that resistance free state,that state creates literally
miracles, like I had clients whoheal themselves from the cancer
, from anxiety, from severedepression, from panic attacks,
like you name it, things thatare disease that people say or
(09:42):
doctors say they are untreatable, like it's really.
Everything exists on the levelof the mind and that the mind
that's why we call it createshuman suffering.
So when you, when you shiftinto the awareness, then there
is no suffering, there's justliving.
Every single moment.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
You're just living that's amazing how long you
think it or how long in yourexperience do you think it took
you from those first when youstarted getting like the voices
or the spirits and you startedhaving the out of body, like
when that stuff startedhappening.
How long did it take you tokind of understand that and then
kind of find the state ofawareness?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I understood it very quickly.
I got it very quickly.
The person who was so used tocontrolling everything was like
no, I know, but I'm not doing it.
You know what I mean?
I do it like my way.
I can do it my way, until I wasliterally like crashed to the
floor.
No, you cannot do it.
Like I lost sleep for sixmonths.
(10:41):
I slept probably one hour a day.
I was begging for sleep and Iknew like literally the life
took every single thing, what Icould attach to myself like I
control this.
No, you don't control likeeverything.
So how long?
I would say two years, twoyears probably, or a year, two
(11:05):
years, but when you really areconsistent and persistent.
Now, when I work with clients,they see huge results within a
week, within a month, within twomonths.
They don't need to go three orfour years because, as I said
for me, it was no one could.
I didn't have a teacher because, as I said for me, I didn't
(11:26):
have a teacher.
I was like a trial and errorand I was really holding on to
the false sense of safety of myidentity and everything.
What.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I learned about this world.
Well, it's great that you'reable to expedite that for
clients so that they don't haveto wait for so long.
There's a book called it Takeswhat it Takes.
It's written by a guy namedTrevor I can't think of his last
name it's loosely around sports.
But then there's more insightbecause he did a lot of.
He was like a mental coach andhe worked with a lot of sports
teams.
But one of the things I rememberfrom that book, which is
(11:56):
similar to what you describedabout the comparison he called
it like living in a neutralstate where typically, if you
take just any instance, anyexperience, typically your level
of we'll call it happiness orfrustration or anger is always
in comparison to yourexpectation.
So let's say you go to dinnerand you're expecting to have
(12:17):
this immaculate meal and it'sgoing to be perfect, but then
it's terrible.
The service is terrible, it'sreally crowded, the food's cold,
right.
You're apt to be more angry andupset because your expectation
was for it to be so great.
And then, vice versa, right, ifyou had no expectations, you're
like I don't know, it'sprobably not going to be great,
and then it is great.
Then your level of happinessgoes up.
(12:37):
She's like well, I wasn'texpecting anything, but it's so
good, right?
So his idea is again some ofthe way you're talking about,
where it's all in your headanyway, like your, your
expectation is you're projecting, you're projecting whatever
good or bad.
And so if you stay in this moreneutral state which is, I mean,
it's cliched, but it is what itis.
(12:57):
I don't even like that saying,but that's, that's it right,
like whatever's happening ishappening in the moment, and
then you accept that it's veryhard to get like upset you don't
get upset like right, becauseyou're just like no matter,
right, right you're justhappening and really the the,
then the highest thing or thedeepest thing really is the
(13:18):
acceptance of death.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
When you accept that you, you're free.
When you transcend that nothing, nothing, okay, nothing, well,
nothing holds you.
And you know, when I talk topeople, sometimes I compare it
to, and it's really that's why Isay, like everything exists on
the level of mine, because youknow about this world so much,
(13:41):
and so you compare yourself andthe identity, your identity,
because you have certainidentity, identity and those are
your anchors, like, so I'm awoman, I'm a white, I have
certain background, I am a coach.
So now I go, you know, I, Ilive in this world, and look at
the world and compare it.
(14:02):
There is a black woman or thereis a black man and I have some
experiences or memories orsomething, and immediately I
judge, or something.
That's how we live in thisworld.
We compare.
But what I?
When, when, when thisdisappears, when the mind stops
reinforcing the identity, thereis no identity.
(14:24):
So when, when someone judges me, I'm good, when someone doesn't
like what I say, I'm good, likethere is no, there is no, there
is nothing.
It's like that, that's okay, andit's like imagine, you know,
but kids have it, kids have it.
Kids have it and we are bornwith it.
Kids don't judge, kids love andthey are not afraid.
(14:47):
Kids are not afraid of disabledpeople, they are not afraid of
homeless persons.
They're just like wondering,like curious, it's like this,
but it's the parentsconditioning like, oh my gosh,
this is bad.
And then they condition bed andthen recondition.
So it's really like seeing theworld through the, the innocence
of the kids, and just wondering.
(15:09):
But and there is no comparison,that's, that's the highest
level of freedom, because thenyou're free, no matter what is
happening in your personal lifeor on a global level.
Yeah, you accept it.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I know you've said we've talked about it in
messaging through your contentthat about 1% you say it in your
profile too about 1% of peopleever like achieve that state
where they're kind of in thatstate all the time.
What do you think?
That's a pretty low number.
Do you think it's possible ifthere were more awareness around
it, more people could get there, or is it truly limited to 1%?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
related to the living in the present.
The low number is when youtranscend the mind.
You see the reality for what itis, not for the image you you
(16:12):
created.
So and I compare it to a dreamwhen you dream, there are people
there, things are happening,you have emotions, you have
thoughts, but you don't know.
You're dreaming.
That's why when something scaryis happening or you're late to
with a project deadline orsomething, you feel emotions
right.
So you don't know that you aredreaming and you are there as a
(16:34):
character in your dream.
You are not just watching thedream as a movie, you're just
right there.
That's a perception of life for99% of our population.
So the 1% that is about that.
When you wake up in the morning, no matter what you dreamt, no
matter what the thing was, nomatter how fearful it was or
(16:57):
joyful, no matter what youneeded to do, where will you go
to fix it?
You wake up and you realizethere is nothing to do.
Where will you go to fix it?
You wake up and you realizethere is nothing to fix.
So that is a perception of theworld and reality and you
(17:17):
yourself, when the mindtranscends.
So to answer your question interms, is it possible to
increase the number?
No and yes, both are correct,because it's only my dream.
It's my dream and I don't needto.
(17:38):
For me, increasing that numberwould be living, me living and
perceiving the reality as fixed,and that there are people.
But I, I know that this isdream and I know that I don't
need to change anyone.
So it's like I'm living a luciddream.
I know I'm dreaming, sochanging the the dream, it's
(17:59):
impossible, it's a madness.
So what I do?
I just live, I just say what Isay and the dream changes by
itself.
So this is when I work withhealers or spiritual coaches who
want to change the world, buteven people who want to just
change the world.
I tell them one thing yourself-awareness is the biggest
(18:24):
gift you can give to the othersand to the world, because the
world doesn't need to change.
Your perception needs to change.
So when clients work with me,they are like there is nothing
to change.
I'm like, yeah, that's amadness.
How can you change a dream?
You wake up and this processwill.
(18:46):
This will happen for every oneof us when we die.
So what I do?
I shift it for those who areready and who come to me to live
it and not to realize it whenthey die.
So you dream your dream, Idream my dream, and the reality
is completely different.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
At what point did you , as you were going through the
journey then, at what point didyou start thinking about
teaching and coaching others?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
So when I mentioned, I had the burnout and everything
and I had anxiety.
So I helped me so for a numberof years.
Then I started coaching.
I quit my corporate finance joband I started coaching and I I
knew without studying, I justknew what needed needed to be
done.
So I I helped.
I helped women and men who whohad for 15, were on like four or
(19:37):
five prescriptions and hadsevere depression and anxiety
and panic attacks to the pointwhere they couldn't leave the
house.
I had someone who for threeyears she had paranoia, couldn't
leave the house.
Within two months all thesymptoms disappeared.
They were all theseprescriptions and they're all
(20:00):
happy and healthy now and theydon't have any symptoms.
So amazing I was doing that andthen those supernatural events
were happening and as they werehappening, the consciousness,
like it, shifted.
I did the work, but it alsonaturally was shifting and I was
naturally led to a differentmessage, which is this message,
(20:22):
and I don't know what themessage will be in five years,
maybe I will be in Himalayanmountains just as a Buddha, but
now I'm doing this.
As I said, we don't have toforce just whoever resonates,
and that's how I show up onLinkedIn.
I know I cannot force, not thatI cannot force.
(20:43):
I am not able to force anythingbecause it's out of my system.
It's just saying my message andthose who resonate will come.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Honestly, that's a great way to go about it For all
of us trying to run, you know,our businesses online and we get
tied into revenue and signingclients and make money and
keeping it sustainable.
And I really resonated.
You had a post I think it wasthis week.
It might could have been lastweek, but I think it was this
week.
You were talking about playinga dice game with your son and
rolling the dice and he wasgetting really upset because he
(21:17):
was trying so hard and you, youyou were not because you had
released the outcome and thenyou were, you were getting
whatever, whatever game it was,you were getting it and he was
getting like madder, he'sgetting madder and madder and I
just, hey, I've done, I've donethat his way so many times where
, like when I was younger, I'dget so upset because I was
trying so hard, whether it wasplaying golf or a board game or
(21:39):
something, and it's completereverse.
Psychology is that it's like theharder you try and the more you
want it.
Even though that sounds likethe best way to go, it typically
isn't, because you just end upgetting in your own way, but
then when you go the other way,which is you release the result
and the outcome and you're justlike I'm just doing, I'm just
(21:59):
going to do it.
Then it seems to come mucheasier.
It's really.
It's an interesting and you see, it same thing with, like
people will talk about dating,like you're trying really hard
to find someone and then youjust give up and then you're
like I'm just going to work onmyself and I'm not meant to
completely stop trying to findsomeone.
And then, like shortlythereafter, somebody shows up in
your life, like that's kind ofthe same principle, right,
you're trying to force it, nothappening.
(22:20):
You're like, whatever, I don'teven want to date anyone.
And then, boom, there it is.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
So it's a similar.
It is and it's really.
It stems from the.
There is a one thing, there'sonly one thing, there is only
one purpose for a person to havethis physical experience, and
it's to realize the self,realize the illusion, realize
that you control nothing, so youdon't need to realize it.
(22:45):
But when you apply it to this,right that?
Okay, so I don't control thisgame, I don't control this game,
so I may as have fun, right?
So if I don't control anything,I'll just have fun and whatever
, whatever comes, that comes andthat that's the approach.
(23:07):
When you see that you controlnothing and that's what I was
teaching myself, like you,because the moment you force
something, the moment you wantsomething, you are deep in the
dream, believing that you cansomething.
The moment you want something,you are deep in the dream,
believing that you can changeanything.
The only way you can change thedream is realize that it's a
dream.
So I didn't explain it on thislevel to my son, but that's what
(23:31):
it is and that's why it works.
That's why it's like.
It's not reverse psychology,it's just like not pushing
against the illusion.
It's a madman, right?
Yeah?
No, I mean, it's not reversepsychology, it's just like not
pushing against the illusion.
It's a madman right.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Yeah, no, I mean it is, I mean it makes sense.
But I think it's hard, andespecially when you're talking,
I mean, obviously a board gamehas less stakes, it doesn't
really matter if you win or lose.
But if you're trying to run abusiness, trying to make money,
trying to pay your bills, right,I think it gets hard to balance
(24:04):
what you're kind of talkingabout, because it's really an
energy.
Right, it's like a push-pullenergy where you're trying to
push someone to sign with you orto do your program, versus just
attract.
They're just attracted to itand they just are pulled into
your ecosystem or whatever, andso I think it's energy.
So I think it's, how would youcoach someone on, or or what
advice, I guess, would you givepeople listening who are
struggling because you, becauseit's obviously you hear that a
(24:24):
lot like the feast or famine,like you sign a bunch of clients
for a couple months and thenyou go a few months where you
don't.
So it's this roller coaster ofof revenue.
Um, how do you balance thequote-unquote like needing,
needing to sign clients to makemoney versus against just
letting go and whatever it is?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
So I go back to the transcending the fear and
transcending the debt, becauseeverything what you said about
signing up clients, you have topay the bill.
And now you, underneath allthat, underneath every negative
emotion, whether it's jealousy,anger I have a fear that the
client won't come, I won't beable to pay bills Underneath
(25:05):
every negative emotion is fearof death.
So, when you transcend fear ofdeath, you're free, because when
you are okay, when you don'tfear death, you don't fear
anything, right.
So that's and that can happenonly when the mind transcends,
when the mind becomes fullyquiet.
(25:25):
If you're not there yet, it'sreally about you know.
I would say one thing you mayhave noticed in my post, which I
write very often, is that everymoment of your life is
happening as it needs to behappening for the evolution of
your consciousness.
Not the one moment of your lifeis wrong.
(25:46):
I think I don't care whatyou're going through.
It's needed.
You just don't know and youfight it and you resist it.
So, instead of treating yourclients or potential clients as,
oh, I need to sign them up, youare just aware of the moment
and your conditioning and ofyourself, what this moment is
(26:12):
about.
And if the client says no, thenyou are aware of whatever is
going in you in terms of yourfears and I don't know, and I
have this bill, I have amortgage coming up, whatever it
is right.
And when you do that, then youdon't need to recreate
(26:32):
situations that point you tothose deepest fears of yours,
because you go through it andthat's how you change your life,
and then the yes will come froma client, but it really comes
down to the illusion and notfearing anything.
(26:55):
So the transcendence of themind.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, it's interesting how it's all rooted
in the fear, which I mean on thesurface level makes sense,
because if you're worried aboutselling or rejection, it's a
fear of no, but it's really muchdeeper than just hearing the no
.
That's like what we tellourselves, right?
But there's so much more goingon there.
When I had my recent guest,nicole Green, we were really
talking about the nine to fiveexistence versus the
(27:21):
entrepreneurship existence, andwe both have done it both ways,
and one of the things that nineto five does a really good job
of selling is the safety andsecurity right the every other
week paycheck, the monthlypaycheck benefits, 401k, all
that.
And it's true and I'm notknocking it it's great for a lot
(27:42):
of people and will be for awhile.
But it's an illusion of safetybecause that can go away at any
day, Like they can lay you offat any time.
It's free will and so it'sinteresting how that has been
solved as security, but itreally isn't it's a false sense
of safety because you can.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
I have a friend who was let go now after probably 12
years of working for a company,and it was.
It's now before christmas likeit can happen like this.
But the whole life you designyour whole life for the full
sense of safety.
So, for example, coming torelationships, dating, or the
(28:24):
rejection no, even rejectioneven receiving rejection goes to
then being rejected means Iwill end up alone.
Because, let's imagine,everyone rejects you because no
one likes your message.
Everyone message, everyonerejects you.
Then I will end up alone.
(28:44):
What happens when you end upalone?
You cannot survive.
It's a fear of death.
So that simple no rejectionfrom a client, everything points
to the death and that's whythat needs to be transcended.
(29:08):
Sense of identity that you'rehere as a person who thinks
independently, who has emotionsthat are yours, and you have
control about your life and whatis happening.
That's an illusion.
You control nothing.
(29:28):
You don't control your thoughts, you don't control your
emotions, you don't control yourlife.
Life is happening and you arepart of it, just like the dream.
Who is the dreamer?
You, the one, the character ofthe dream?
No, that's not.
There is a dreamer who dreams adream and you need to point to
(29:50):
the dreamer, so the character,who you are in the dream wakes
up.
Then you see the madness andthe reality and you're like wow.
And then you just don'tparticipate.
You live your life but youdon't push.
You accept everything.
It's a full acceptance of lifethat you're aware you need to be
(30:10):
and you take every moment ofyour life, whether you are sick,
whether your kids are sick, uh,whether a client says no, you
know that that's the moment youneed to experience and you don't
question it because you havethe wisdom that, yeah, like I
know, I perceive when my clientscome to me and they tell me
(30:33):
three sentences about what'swrong with them, what's going on
, what would they, what theyneed to change or want to change
.
I know exactly all therelationships in their families,
with their friends, and I knowexactly why that is happening,
why they have the experience.
So it's like lifting the whaleand shining a light like a wow.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
It's a different quality of light, it's a peak
yeah it's really being at peaceyeah, the the kind of present
state of peace, what so youmentioned you had older kids.
What's their take?
Are they old enough tocomprehend and get this and kind
of participate in it, or stilllike too woo woo for them?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
oh, it's a little my kid.
Uh, I've been my biggest gurus.
I'm not kidding my, my son wasprobably seven or so when he
told me.
When we were in bed, you know,he was falling asleep and I was
like, mommy, you know what, Idon't know, but like every night
when I asleep, it's like I'mgoing through this portal, like
(31:34):
it's like my consciousness gothrough the portal, and then I
just come back here and I openmy eyes and I'm like huh, really
, he was five when he told me,when he asked me at the dinner
like mom, what if this is alljust a dream?
And I'm like, what do you mean?
Well, I think it's a dream.
I think we will wake up one dayand we will realize it's a
(31:59):
dream.
Like, kids have the wisdom andbecause I don't need to coach
them, I just live with them andthey hear my message and how I
live.
But, most importantly, I don'tcondition them.
I don't condition them to bethe conditioned humans they
(32:23):
think like I think, or theythink closer to like I think
than to other people.
So, yeah, so they are.
They kid is old enough tounderstand on their level.
But so maybe I talk a differentway to you know, a young kid,
or to my son, but he understands.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah, that's fascinating.
Now I'm going back and thinkingabout all the things we've
programmed our kids.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
This is David.
I started coaching a client and, like first session, they're
like can I undo this?
What I did to my kid?
And I don't worry because whatI say, like it's your dream,
remember, it's your dream.
Of course, I had a client whospent just one day with me.
(33:15):
It was an intensive day.
At the end of the day, aftereverything, what we did, you
know, and I told her and we didthe awareness she shifted a lot.
Like immediately after, like,oh my gosh, daniela, I'm aware.
I'm like, yes, this is it,continue doing it.
But at the end of the day, she,she asked me are you saying
(33:36):
that my son's adhd is because Iam not aware?
And I was like, yeah, that'swhat I'm saying.
And she's like, okay, she gotit, she went, I think five days
after the intensive.
She's like, wow, daniela, he ismuch calmer.
(33:59):
And now it's a year from thatday and I checked, I think two
weeks ago.
I'm like, how is your son doing?
I said, daniela, I told him tobe aware, I practice awareness,
I am aware and nothing.
He has no medications, no timetrumps, no frustration.
He is just she, literally justDaniela.
(34:20):
We are just living.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
So don't worry, don't think about the conditioning.
Remember, past is an illusion,david.
So if you go back, what did Ido?
You're relevant.
It's about what are you doingnow.
Are you being aware?
Now, don't go into the past.
That's a mind trap.
That's the mind trap.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I'm aware right now because I'm talking to you, I
don't know what it'll be like in20 minutes.
That's really fascinating.
Now I know you had mentioned inone of your also one of your
recent posts about readingself-help books or personal
growth books, and I did that.
I sucked those up for a whilebecause I was so miserable in my
work existence and being in thecubicle and I was fighting
(35:08):
against it so much that you knowI listened to podcasts, but
most of it is I read booksbecause I thought that that
would help me like kind of getfree, and I mean they did help
somewhat new knowledge ordifferent ways to do things or
whatever.
But at some point they'rediminishing returns because
they're kind of just saying thesame thing and if you're not
really putting it into practice,how much are you really
improving or gaining?
So I read somewhere in the 70to 80 range.
I would have been probablybetter off picking like 7 or ten
(35:31):
of those and like fullyimplementing some of the
teachings that would have.
That would have been moreeffective.
But I learned later.
It was a kind ofprocrastination through learning
because it felt like I wasmaking progress.
I listened, I did a lot ofaudible, so I was listening to a
lot of the books at my desk.
It was getting me through theday.
I felt productive but I wasn'treally taking action.
So then I didn't.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
My situation didn't really improve yeah, and see,
and I'm not invalidating yourexperience, because I'm not
invalidating my experience, soI'm not invalidating anyone
experience who is reading a book.
Because, yeah, I, I heard aboutlike 50 plus self-improvement
books a year and um, but when,when my mind shifted, I realized
(36:14):
that it's a part of theillusion, like mind needs
knowledge, and it's a rabbithole of knowledge, and it's
knowledge and knowledge, butthat knowledge is very limited.
When and I and I mentioned, Imentioned in the post that in
the past two years, I haven'tread any books, and you probably
(36:39):
can make me to read booksBecause it's like I don't care
what's in there, it doesn'tmatter, because I know stuff.
Like I know Mind needsknowledge.
When you're in the, I have it,mind needs knowledge, the
awareness.
When you are in the state ofawareness, it's like wisdom.
You know you cannot explainthings, but you know.
(37:03):
And because now you are not thatliving in the illusion or in
the perception that you controlsomething, you know that every
moment is happening for you andeach moment and it may be that
someone says something or youwill come across a certain
(37:23):
information Like you just getthings Like oh my gosh, I'm not
kidding you, I need to knowsomething.
I need to know something, Ineed to know something.
And I'm like, okay, I shouldcheck this out, I should google
it, but I'm probably I don'tknow.
Let's say I'm um making dinner,I'm like later, and I just stop
(37:45):
it.
I'm like, yeah, and then mydaughter comes and holds the
phone and like mommy, look whatI found.
And she I'm like, okay, got it.
Like that, because now it's likeit's the reality, it's molding
to who you are, it's reflectingwho you are and you are not that
(38:07):
limited human.
You are not that limited humanwho thinks and believes that the
world is fixed and you need tocontrol it.
This is not an intellectuallevel.
Like this is really.
You need to live it, you needto be.
It's not oh, daniela said sothis will happen to me, no, and
(38:28):
you go really the path to thatis through being aware and
releasing and going through yourdeepest, deepest survival fears
.
So the path I went through itwas the hardest thing one can
imagine Like probably death isyou know, but that like really
it was.
It was hard because all yourdeepest fears come to the
(38:50):
surface and you need to justwatch it.
Watch it and the reality willgive it to you.
So that's probably.
That probably answers yourquestions of question of why
only one percent?
Because people want the comfort.
Even if it's a false sense ofcomfort and false sense of
safety, it's very addictive,addictive yeah, that's what
(39:15):
we've been, that's what we'vebeen societally programmed for.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
What?
How would people, what would beif they just wanted to, like,
learn more, just about awarenessand overcoming deep-seated
fears?
Like where would you guide them?
Like where would they get moreinformation?
Is it books?
Is it documentaries?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
I would like.
No, I would, I would.
I would tell them, follow myposts.
A lot, a lot of people notnecessarily everyone ends up to
be my clients and people tell me, daniella, huge help just
reading it, like somethingclicked, something clicked.
So that will be probably thefirst one and I would then say
practice being aware, practiceawareness.
(39:55):
You don't need any books.
If you need, if you need a book, it will come across, it will
come to you.
If you need someone, it willcome to you.
But really, the dependence andthe need to know is the false
sense of safety because you need, because you need to be okay,
living in the unknown, thatbeing in the present, living in
(40:19):
the present is living in theunknown.
I don't know what happenstomorrow, I don't know what
happens in two weeks.
I don't plan, I don't plannothing.
So it's really about what yousaid.
It's not about reading thebooks, it's not about listening
to podcasts.
Reading the books or doingcourses are great for systems
(40:40):
and processes and, to your point, you read something, you learn,
you implement it.
Oh, this is how I shouldstructure my post on LinkedIn,
for example Great stuff.
This is how I should structuremy post on linkedin, for example
, great stuff when it comes toself improvement, mindset and
everything.
The more you heal, the more youshift beliefs, the more you,
(41:01):
the more you are in the rabbithole of the mind.
You need to be, you need to beaware, and your life will show
you where your fears are, whereyour, your limitations are, and
you just keep being aware of it.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Yeah, fascinating stuff.
I feel like we could just keeptalking about this.
There's like so many layers wecould just continue to peel back
, but I feel like we've covereda lot.
Awareness, obviously, is thekey Overcoming those deep-seated
fears and just letting go,which is not easy to do.
What tell people obviouslyfollowing you on LinkedIn with
(41:36):
your content, which is veryintellectual and
thought-provoking, very uniqueon the platform?
I don't see hardly any postslike it.
How do they find you there?
And then I know you have awebsite.
Talk about that and then anykind of final thoughts or
parting wisdom that you wantsomeone to think about and take
with them.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Be silent and observe .
Any thought you have is a lie.
Any word you say is a lie.
Any word I say is a limitation,because the truth cannot be
learned.
The truth is really.
You need to experience it.
It's a perception and thatperception only comes really in
(42:19):
the now and from the awareness.
So be silent, spend time aloneand just be observing and being
aware and see where the lifetakes you, because you're always
where you need to be, everysingle moment love it.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
And what's the website?
Where can they find you?
Speaker 2 (42:29):
danielasulakcom.
So.
So it's my name.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Okay, and then I'll put that in the show notes.
I'll have links to yourLinkedIn profile and to the
website.
Daniel, thank you so much forcoming on sharing your wisdom
and insight.
This is truly, trulyfascinating.
I've not had a discussion likethis on the show yet, like this
is really next level stuff andI'm fascinated by it.
I think it's just a tremendousopportunity for people to
improve their just state ofbeing and being happier and just
(42:55):
getting more enjoyment out oflife and not just not fighting
it so much.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
That's why we are here, so thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
Great Thanks, thanks, daniel.
Welcome to the Real you Podcast.
This is episode number 28.
I'm David Young, your host.
I'm a LinkedIn content andbusiness coach.
I help coaches and solopreneursgrow their businesses through
better storytelling and contentcreation.
I launched this podcast inMarch of 2024 to spotlight
interesting people doing amazingthings, and today I'm joined by
Daniela Sulek.
Daniela helps leaders andvisionaries move into a
(00:22):
permanent state of peace.
She will share with us how onecan liberate themselves from the
mind and make a massive impactwhile fully enjoying each moment
of life.
Daniela, thanks for taking timeout of your schedule to join me
today.
Appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
My pleasure, Davey.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I was looking through we'llget into your coaching and the
mindset.
So I was looking through yourprofile earlier and I I saw that
you did financial planning andanalysis and I did too.
I couldn't help but laughbecause I feel like there's so
many reformed like accountingand finance people that have
moved into coaching and I just Ichuckled them and you did it
(00:57):
for quite a while and so did I,so I thought that was really I
thought that was reallyinteresting yeah, and I did the
same when I went to your profileand I saw financial planning.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Really, that is the only thing I did.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
My background is in finance from the University of
Toronto, and that's what I diduntil I quit Well, so I started
in sales, then I went tocustomer service and then when I
left customer service, then Imoved to finance and I did
finance for about Well.
I went to another company anddid it too.
So I guess I did it for about10 years total.
(01:31):
So that last job the funny partis that it does say financial
planning analysis.
It was a cost center accountingjob, but I didn't know that.
So I went through the wholeinterview process.
I interviewed with HR, with themanager, twice.
I even sat down because it wasan internal promotion.
So I sat down with the womanbecause I was going to be taking
her place, but she was stillgoing to be around, so she was
(01:52):
going to train me.
I had a 30-minute one-on-onewith her.
I thought I asked goodquestions to know what I was
getting into.
I said yes, got the offer.
It was great.
It was a pretty big promotionfor me at the time.
And so the two weeks went byofficial start date I go, sit
down.
A woman starts training me thevery first thing she does like
(02:13):
within 30 seconds she opens upher computer and she opens up a
journal entry like software.
And I was like, well, that'sodd, what's that have to do with
financial planning?
And I go what are you doing?
And she was like we're going todo 20 to 25 month-end closed
journal entries.
I was like I'm going to do what?
How come nobody mentioned this?
I don't want to do that.
(02:33):
And I remember walking downlater that day and said to my
new boss I was like I think youhired the wrong.
This is not.
I didn't sign up for this.
What are we doing?
I don't want to do this.
And he was like you didn'trealize.
It was like month-end close andaccounting.
I was like no, you guys calledit financial planning and
announced I thought I was goingto do like you know, forecasting
and like planning.
He was like you're going to dothat too.
I was like I know, but I don'twant to do any journal entries.
(02:56):
And it was 18.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
It was 18 months of pure torture oh yeah, so I did
the same also.
I didn't do a journal and justI prepared them and send them to
accounting, but yeah, most ofthe time was financial planning
and budgeting and analysis yeah,I had eight bosses because I
had eight cost centers, so itwas like having eight different
managers because they all wantedit done a different way.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
All it was was scheduling and rescheduling
meetings because their scheduleswere always just changing, and
so it was I work, I hate workingin the gray and I hate when
things change, so it just droveme absolutely crazy.
It was such a.
So it was I work, I hateworking in the gray and I hate
when things change, so it justdrove me absolutely crazy it was
such a terrible.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
It was a terrible fit for me led you to where you are
today, you know, and becauseyou were frustrated, because you
hated it.
Now you are doing what you love, and but everything is perfect.
Everything is always the way itis it's supposed to be there
you go, yeah, because that's abig.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
So that's perfect segue.
That's a big part of what youtalk about and I am trying to
get on board and have been forseveral years.
It is a challenge, which Ithink it is for most people is
that acceptance of reality.
There's no good or bad, therejust is, and it's a great place
to be when you're there.
Hard to stay there, at leastfor me.
So how did you find it?
(04:03):
Is it something you've alreadyalways been interested in?
Did you stumble upon it?
What?
What was kind of the spark?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
no, it found me.
It found me.
You know, I, I had no ideaabout this stuff.
I was, yeah, really hardcore,very analytical, logical, I see
it, I believe it person planningand racing thoughts and
controlling and high achiever.
But then when I was pregnantwith my eighth, third child, my
(04:31):
body just really burned outbadly so I almost died.
So I started to changing myselfand working on myself so that
for 10 years I spent againcontrolling and healing and
doing all sorts ofself-improvement things and then
, as I say, like everythinghappens for a reason, things
starting happening to me, thingsstarting happening to I call it
(04:53):
, I sign up for you, can youcontrol nothing?
Masterclass, which means that Iliterally had involuntary,
uncontrollable events, sokundalini, out-of-body
experience, mind-wrapping, Imean, like black hole spirits
talking to me, so many, so muchstuff, and it really got me to
(05:16):
the real point of frustrationbecause I couldn't control it.
You cannot control spiritstalking to you, you cannot
control your out body, seeingyourself, uh, and I, it was
probably it.
Uh, it lasted about three yearsand I had to manage my business
.
I had to manage, you know, kidsand and the running household
(05:38):
and everything.
So it was pretty and there wereother things that really,
really, I was like okay, that'sso.
I knew what I needed to do.
I knew I had to not really justlike, not care and stop
controlling.
So I shifted into being awareEvery single moment I was at a
point is I either get crazy,like completely I go crazy, be
(06:03):
homeless, I die, I don't care,or I'll know the truth.
That's it.
Like I'm a very person, I'm aperson of extreme, like this or
that.
There was no.
I was at the point where that'sit Like.
It was, like I don't want tolive like this and I don't want
to.
That's it.
This is not happening anymore.
(06:24):
I don't want to live like thisand I don't want to.
That's it.
This is not happening anymore.
So a huge fear, a lot of fear, alot of fear, because when you
let go, when you just really arein the state of witnessing
what's happening a lot of fearand you are you need to be aware
of the fear and everything whatis coming up.
And you need to be aware of thefear and everything what is
(06:45):
coming up.
But over time, my thoughts gotquiet and my mind got quiet.
The emotions were removed, thesupernatural experiences stopped
happening, my businessaccelerated, my personal life
turned into harmoniousrelationships and I started
(07:05):
perceiving life differently.
So, instead of living in atime-space reality in terms of
past and future and space, Idon't have a thought of past.
I have some memories.
I know that it happened, butit's not like I am not attached
to it.
It's not like this person livedit, it's like someone else's
(07:27):
life.
So there is no emotionalattachment.
That's, by the way, how youheal any trauma, depression,
anything, because everything,what we experience, our whole
identity, lives on the level ofthe mind.
So the mind projects past andfuture and there is everything
you know about yourself, yourmemories, your experience, your
(07:50):
beliefs, your thoughts,everything you live through
everything and the mind andthat's every second of the time,
every split second of the daythat's being reinforced.
When the mind falls away, thereis nothing, there is just
present moment.
So I I cannot live in the pastand I am not able to plan
(08:11):
logistically yet.
I can put something in mycalendar and I know that it may
happen, but there is noattachment to it.
So there is no worry about thefuture, there are no challenges,
nothing.
It's full acceptance ofwhatever is is because I
perceive now life only throughthe present moment, only, really
only.
Everything else is an illusion,it's a perception of the mind.
(08:34):
So, so, accepting what is, youcannot accept and this is what
my message and this is what Iteach you cannot accept when you
are in the mind, in the mind,consciousness.
There needs to be shift intothe awareness and being aware,
because mind cannot accept.
Because when you accept, youare in the present moment.
(08:57):
And when you are in the presentmoment, there is no comparison
to anything, there is nocomparison to past and no
comparison to future.
When you live withoutexpectation and without
comparison, nothing is wrong.
Think about it.
Think about it.
If you do not compare your nowto anything else, nothing is
(09:18):
ever wrong.
You can have a fever, you canhave a cancer, but if you don't
compare it to I want to behealthy, then you're fine.
And that resistance free state,that state creates literally
miracles, like I had clients whoheal themselves from the cancer
, from anxiety, from severedepression, from panic attacks,
like you name it, things thatare disease that people say or
(09:42):
doctors say they are untreatable, like it's really.
Everything exists on the levelof the mind and that the mind
that's why we call it createshuman suffering.
So when you, when you shiftinto the awareness, then there
is no suffering, there's justliving.
Every single moment.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
You're just living that's amazing how long you
think it or how long in yourexperience do you think it took
you from those first when youstarted getting like the voices
or the spirits and you startedhaving the out of body, like
when that stuff startedhappening.
How long did it take you tokind of understand that and then
kind of find the state ofawareness?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I understood it very quickly.
I got it very quickly.
The person who was so used tocontrolling everything was like
no, I know, but I'm not doing it.
You know what I mean?
I do it like my way.
I can do it my way, until I wasliterally like crashed to the
floor.
No, you cannot do it.
Like I lost sleep for sixmonths.
(10:41):
I slept probably one hour a day.
I was begging for sleep and Iknew like literally the life
took every single thing, what Icould attach to myself like I
control this.
No, you don't control likeeverything.
So how long?
I would say two years, twoyears probably, or a year, two
(11:05):
years, but when you really areconsistent and persistent.
Now, when I work with clients,they see huge results within a
week, within a month, within twomonths.
They don't need to go three orfour years because, as I said
for me, it was no one could.
I didn't have a teacher because, as I said for me, I didn't
(11:26):
have a teacher.
I was like a trial and errorand I was really holding on to
the false sense of safety of myidentity and everything.
What.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I learned about this world.
Well, it's great that you'reable to expedite that for
clients so that they don't haveto wait for so long.
There's a book called it Takeswhat it Takes.
It's written by a guy namedTrevor I can't think of his last
name it's loosely around sports.
But then there's more insightbecause he did a lot of.
He was like a mental coach andhe worked with a lot of sports
teams.
But one of the things I rememberfrom that book, which is
(11:56):
similar to what you describedabout the comparison he called
it like living in a neutralstate where typically, if you
take just any instance, anyexperience, typically your level
of we'll call it happiness orfrustration or anger is always
in comparison to yourexpectation.
So let's say you go to dinnerand you're expecting to have
(12:17):
this immaculate meal and it'sgoing to be perfect, but then
it's terrible.
The service is terrible, it'sreally crowded, the food's cold,
right.
You're apt to be more angry andupset because your expectation
was for it to be so great.
And then, vice versa, right, ifyou had no expectations, you're
like I don't know, it'sprobably not going to be great,
and then it is great.
Then your level of happinessgoes up.
(12:37):
She's like well, I wasn'texpecting anything, but it's so
good, right?
So his idea is again some ofthe way you're talking about,
where it's all in your headanyway, like your, your
expectation is you're projecting, you're projecting whatever
good or bad.
And so if you stay in this moreneutral state which is, I mean,
it's cliched, but it is what itis.
(12:57):
I don't even like that saying,but that's, that's it right,
like whatever's happening ishappening in the moment, and
then you accept that it's veryhard to get like upset you don't
get upset like right, becauseyou're just like no matter,
right, right you're justhappening and really the the,
then the highest thing or thedeepest thing really is the
(13:18):
acceptance of death.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
When you accept that you, you're free.
When you transcend that nothing, nothing, okay, nothing, well,
nothing holds you.
And you know, when I talk topeople, sometimes I compare it
to, and it's really that's why Isay, like everything exists on
the level of mine, because youknow about this world so much,
(13:41):
and so you compare yourself andthe identity, your identity,
because you have certainidentity, identity and those are
your anchors, like, so I'm awoman, I'm a white, I have
certain background, I am a coach.
So now I go, you know, I, Ilive in this world, and look at
the world and compare it.
(14:02):
There is a black woman or thereis a black man and I have some
experiences or memories orsomething, and immediately I
judge, or something.
That's how we live in thisworld.
We compare.
But what I?
When, when, when thisdisappears, when the mind stops
reinforcing the identity, thereis no identity.
(14:24):
So when, when someone judges me, I'm good, when someone doesn't
like what I say, I'm good, likethere is no, there is no, there
is nothing.
It's like that, that's okay, andit's like imagine, you know,
but kids have it, kids have it.
Kids have it and we are bornwith it.
Kids don't judge, kids love andthey are not afraid.
(14:47):
Kids are not afraid of disabledpeople, they are not afraid of
homeless persons.
They're just like wondering,like curious, it's like this,
but it's the parentsconditioning like, oh my gosh,
this is bad.
And then they condition bed andthen recondition.
So it's really like seeing theworld through the, the innocence
of the kids, and just wondering.
(15:09):
But and there is no comparison,that's, that's the highest
level of freedom, because thenyou're free, no matter what is
happening in your personal lifeor on a global level.
Yeah, you accept it.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I know you've said we've talked about it in
messaging through your contentthat about 1% you say it in your
profile too about 1% of peopleever like achieve that state
where they're kind of in thatstate all the time.
What do you think?
That's a pretty low number.
Do you think it's possible ifthere were more awareness around
it, more people could get there, or is it truly limited to 1%?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
related to the living in the present.
The low number is when youtranscend the mind.
You see the reality for what itis, not for the image you you
(16:12):
created.
So and I compare it to a dreamwhen you dream, there are people
there, things are happening,you have emotions, you have
thoughts, but you don't know.
You're dreaming.
That's why when something scaryis happening or you're late to
with a project deadline orsomething, you feel emotions
right.
So you don't know that you aredreaming and you are there as a
(16:34):
character in your dream.
You are not just watching thedream as a movie, you're just
right there.
That's a perception of life for99% of our population.
So the 1% that is about that.
When you wake up in the morning, no matter what you dreamt, no
matter what the thing was, nomatter how fearful it was or
(16:57):
joyful, no matter what youneeded to do, where will you go
to fix it?
You wake up and you realizethere is nothing to do.
Where will you go to fix it?
You wake up and you realizethere is nothing to fix.
So that is a perception of theworld and reality and you
(17:17):
yourself, when the mindtranscends.
So to answer your question interms, is it possible to
increase the number?
No and yes, both are correct,because it's only my dream.
It's my dream and I don't needto.
(17:38):
For me, increasing that numberwould be living, me living and
perceiving the reality as fixed,and that there are people.
But I, I know that this isdream and I know that I don't
need to change anyone.
So it's like I'm living a luciddream.
I know I'm dreaming, sochanging the the dream, it's
(17:59):
impossible, it's a madness.
So what I do?
I just live, I just say what Isay and the dream changes by
itself.
So this is when I work withhealers or spiritual coaches who
want to change the world, buteven people who want to just
change the world.
I tell them one thing yourself-awareness is the biggest
(18:24):
gift you can give to the othersand to the world, because the
world doesn't need to change.
Your perception needs to change.
So when clients work with me,they are like there is nothing
to change.
I'm like, yeah, that's amadness.
How can you change a dream?
You wake up and this processwill.
(18:46):
This will happen for every oneof us when we die.
So what I do?
I shift it for those who areready and who come to me to live
it and not to realize it whenthey die.
So you dream your dream, Idream my dream, and the reality
is completely different.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
At what point did you , as you were going through the
journey then, at what point didyou start thinking about
teaching and coaching others?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
So when I mentioned, I had the burnout and everything
and I had anxiety.
So I helped me so for a numberof years.
Then I started coaching.
I quit my corporate finance joband I started coaching and I I
knew without studying, I justknew what needed needed to be
done.
So I I helped.
I helped women and men who whohad for 15, were on like four or
(19:37):
five prescriptions and hadsevere depression and anxiety
and panic attacks to the pointwhere they couldn't leave the
house.
I had someone who for threeyears she had paranoia, couldn't
leave the house.
Within two months all thesymptoms disappeared.
They were all theseprescriptions and they're all
(20:00):
happy and healthy now and theydon't have any symptoms.
So amazing I was doing that andthen those supernatural events
were happening and as they werehappening, the consciousness,
like it, shifted.
I did the work, but it alsonaturally was shifting and I was
naturally led to a differentmessage, which is this message,
(20:22):
and I don't know what themessage will be in five years,
maybe I will be in Himalayanmountains just as a Buddha, but
now I'm doing this.
As I said, we don't have toforce just whoever resonates,
and that's how I show up onLinkedIn.
I know I cannot force, not thatI cannot force.
(20:43):
I am not able to force anythingbecause it's out of my system.
It's just saying my message andthose who resonate will come.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Honestly, that's a great way to go about it For all
of us trying to run, you know,our businesses online and we get
tied into revenue and signingclients and make money and
keeping it sustainable.
And I really resonated.
You had a post I think it wasthis week.
It might could have been lastweek, but I think it was this
week.
You were talking about playinga dice game with your son and
rolling the dice and he wasgetting really upset because he
(21:17):
was trying so hard and you, youyou were not because you had
released the outcome and thenyou were, you were getting
whatever, whatever game it was,you were getting it and he was
getting like madder, he'sgetting madder and madder and I
just, hey, I've done, I've donethat his way so many times where
, like when I was younger, I'dget so upset because I was
trying so hard, whether it wasplaying golf or a board game or
(21:39):
something, and it's completereverse.
Psychology is that it's like theharder you try and the more you
want it.
Even though that sounds likethe best way to go, it typically
isn't, because you just end upgetting in your own way, but
then when you go the other way,which is you release the result
and the outcome and you're justlike I'm just doing, I'm just
(21:59):
going to do it.
Then it seems to come mucheasier.
It's really.
It's an interesting and you see, it same thing with, like
people will talk about dating,like you're trying really hard
to find someone and then youjust give up and then you're
like I'm just going to work onmyself and I'm not meant to
completely stop trying to findsomeone.
And then, like shortlythereafter, somebody shows up in
your life, like that's kind ofthe same principle, right,
you're trying to force it, nothappening.
(22:20):
You're like, whatever, I don'teven want to date anyone.
And then, boom, there it is.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
So it's a similar.
It is and it's really.
It stems from the.
There is a one thing, there'sonly one thing, there is only
one purpose for a person to havethis physical experience, and
it's to realize the self,realize the illusion, realize
that you control nothing, so youdon't need to realize it.
(22:45):
But when you apply it to this,right that?
Okay, so I don't control thisgame, I don't control this game,
so I may as have fun, right?
So if I don't control anything,I'll just have fun and whatever
, whatever comes, that comes andthat that's the approach.
(23:07):
When you see that you controlnothing and that's what I was
teaching myself, like you,because the moment you force
something, the moment you wantsomething, you are deep in the
dream, believing that you cansomething.
The moment you want something,you are deep in the dream,
believing that you can changeanything.
The only way you can change thedream is realize that it's a
dream.
So I didn't explain it on thislevel to my son, but that's what
(23:31):
it is and that's why it works.
That's why it's like.
It's not reverse psychology,it's just like not pushing
against the illusion.
It's a madman, right?
Yeah?
No, I mean, it's not reversepsychology, it's just like not
pushing against the illusion.
It's a madman right.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Yeah, no, I mean it is, I mean it makes sense.
But I think it's hard, andespecially when you're talking,
I mean, obviously a board gamehas less stakes, it doesn't
really matter if you win or lose.
But if you're trying to run abusiness, trying to make money,
trying to pay your bills, right,I think it gets hard to balance
(24:04):
what you're kind of talkingabout, because it's really an
energy.
Right, it's like a push-pullenergy where you're trying to
push someone to sign with you orto do your program, versus just
attract.
They're just attracted to itand they just are pulled into
your ecosystem or whatever, andso I think it's energy.
So I think it's, how would youcoach someone on, or or what
advice, I guess, would you givepeople listening who are
struggling because you, becauseit's obviously you hear that a
(24:24):
lot like the feast or famine,like you sign a bunch of clients
for a couple months and thenyou go a few months where you
don't.
So it's this roller coaster ofof revenue.
Um, how do you balance thequote-unquote like needing,
needing to sign clients to makemoney versus against just
letting go and whatever it is?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
So I go back to the transcending the fear and
transcending the debt, becauseeverything what you said about
signing up clients, you have topay the bill.
And now you, underneath allthat, underneath every negative
emotion, whether it's jealousy,anger I have a fear that the
client won't come, I won't beable to pay bills Underneath
(25:05):
every negative emotion is fearof death.
So, when you transcend fear ofdeath, you're free, because when
you are okay, when you don'tfear death, you don't fear
anything, right.
So that's and that can happenonly when the mind transcends,
when the mind becomes fullyquiet.
(25:25):
If you're not there yet, it'sreally about you know.
I would say one thing you mayhave noticed in my post, which I
write very often, is that everymoment of your life is
happening as it needs to behappening for the evolution of
your consciousness.
Not the one moment of your lifeis wrong.
(25:46):
I think I don't care whatyou're going through.
It's needed.
You just don't know and youfight it and you resist it.
So, instead of treating yourclients or potential clients as,
oh, I need to sign them up, youare just aware of the moment
and your conditioning and ofyourself, what this moment is
(26:12):
about.
And if the client says no, thenyou are aware of whatever is
going in you in terms of yourfears and I don't know, and I
have this bill, I have amortgage coming up, whatever it
is right.
And when you do that, then youdon't need to recreate
(26:32):
situations that point you tothose deepest fears of yours,
because you go through it andthat's how you change your life,
and then the yes will come froma client, but it really comes
down to the illusion and notfearing anything.
(26:55):
So the transcendence of themind.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, it's interesting how it's all rooted
in the fear, which I mean on thesurface level makes sense,
because if you're worried aboutselling or rejection, it's a
fear of no, but it's really muchdeeper than just hearing the no
.
That's like what we tellourselves, right?
But there's so much more goingon there.
When I had my recent guest,nicole Green, we were really
talking about the nine to fiveexistence versus the
(27:21):
entrepreneurship existence, andwe both have done it both ways,
and one of the things that nineto five does a really good job
of selling is the safety andsecurity right the every other
week paycheck, the monthlypaycheck benefits, 401k, all
that.
And it's true and I'm notknocking it it's great for a lot
(27:42):
of people and will be for awhile.
But it's an illusion of safetybecause that can go away at any
day, Like they can lay you offat any time.
It's free will and so it'sinteresting how that has been
solved as security, but itreally isn't it's a false sense
of safety because you can.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
I have a friend who was let go now after probably 12
years of working for a company,and it was.
It's now before christmas likeit can happen like this.
But the whole life you designyour whole life for the full
sense of safety.
So, for example, coming torelationships, dating, or the
(28:24):
rejection no, even rejectioneven receiving rejection goes to
then being rejected means Iwill end up alone.
Because, let's imagine,everyone rejects you because no
one likes your message.
Everyone message, everyonerejects you.
Then I will end up alone.
(28:44):
What happens when you end upalone?
You cannot survive.
It's a fear of death.
So that simple no rejectionfrom a client, everything points
to the death and that's whythat needs to be transcended.
(29:08):
Sense of identity that you'rehere as a person who thinks
independently, who has emotionsthat are yours, and you have
control about your life and whatis happening.
That's an illusion.
You control nothing.
(29:28):
You don't control your thoughts, you don't control your
emotions, you don't control yourlife.
Life is happening and you arepart of it, just like the dream.
Who is the dreamer?
You, the one, the character ofthe dream?
No, that's not.
There is a dreamer who dreams adream and you need to point to
(29:50):
the dreamer, so the character,who you are in the dream wakes
up.
Then you see the madness andthe reality and you're like wow.
And then you just don'tparticipate.
You live your life but youdon't push.
You accept everything.
It's a full acceptance of lifethat you're aware you need to be
(30:10):
and you take every moment ofyour life, whether you are sick,
whether your kids are sick, uh,whether a client says no, you
know that that's the moment youneed to experience and you don't
question it because you havethe wisdom that, yeah, like I
know, I perceive when my clientscome to me and they tell me
(30:33):
three sentences about what'swrong with them, what's going on
, what would they, what theyneed to change or want to change
.
I know exactly all therelationships in their families,
with their friends, and I knowexactly why that is happening,
why they have the experience.
So it's like lifting the whaleand shining a light like a wow.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
It's a different quality of light, it's a peak
yeah it's really being at peaceyeah, the the kind of present
state of peace, what so youmentioned you had older kids.
What's their take?
Are they old enough tocomprehend and get this and kind
of participate in it, or stilllike too woo woo for them?
Speaker 2 (31:12):
oh, it's a little my kid.
Uh, I've been my biggest gurus.
I'm not kidding my, my son wasprobably seven or so when he
told me.
When we were in bed, you know,he was falling asleep and I was
like, mommy, you know what, Idon't know, but like every night
when I asleep, it's like I'mgoing through this portal, like
(31:34):
it's like my consciousness gothrough the portal, and then I
just come back here and I openmy eyes and I'm like huh, really
, he was five when he told me,when he asked me at the dinner
like mom, what if this is alljust a dream?
And I'm like, what do you mean?
Well, I think it's a dream.
I think we will wake up one dayand we will realize it's a
(31:59):
dream.
Like, kids have the wisdom andbecause I don't need to coach
them, I just live with them andthey hear my message and how I
live.
But, most importantly, I don'tcondition them.
I don't condition them to bethe conditioned humans they
(32:23):
think like I think, or theythink closer to like I think
than to other people.
So, yeah, so they are.
They kid is old enough tounderstand on their level.
But so maybe I talk a differentway to you know, a young kid,
or to my son, but he understands.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah, that's fascinating.
Now I'm going back and thinkingabout all the things we've
programmed our kids.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
This is David.
I started coaching a client and, like first session, they're
like can I undo this?
What I did to my kid?
And I don't worry because whatI say, like it's your dream,
remember, it's your dream.
Of course, I had a client whospent just one day with me.
(33:15):
It was an intensive day.
At the end of the day, aftereverything, what we did, you
know, and I told her and we didthe awareness she shifted a lot.
Like immediately after, like,oh my gosh, daniela, I'm aware.
I'm like, yes, this is it,continue doing it.
But at the end of the day, she,she asked me are you saying
(33:36):
that my son's adhd is because Iam not aware?
And I was like, yeah, that'swhat I'm saying.
And she's like, okay, she gotit, she went, I think five days
after the intensive.
She's like, wow, daniela, he ismuch calmer.
(33:59):
And now it's a year from thatday and I checked, I think two
weeks ago.
I'm like, how is your son doing?
I said, daniela, I told him tobe aware, I practice awareness,
I am aware and nothing.
He has no medications, no timetrumps, no frustration.
He is just she, literally justDaniela.
(34:20):
We are just living.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
So don't worry, don't think about the conditioning.
Remember, past is an illusion,david.
So if you go back, what did Ido?
You're relevant.
It's about what are you doingnow.
Are you being aware?
Now, don't go into the past.
That's a mind trap.
That's the mind trap.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I'm aware right now because I'm talking to you, I
don't know what it'll be like in20 minutes.
That's really fascinating.
Now I know you had mentioned inone of your also one of your
recent posts about readingself-help books or personal
growth books, and I did that.
I sucked those up for a whilebecause I was so miserable in my
work existence and being in thecubicle and I was fighting
(35:08):
against it so much that you knowI listened to podcasts, but
most of it is I read booksbecause I thought that that
would help me like kind of getfree, and I mean they did help
somewhat new knowledge ordifferent ways to do things or
whatever.
But at some point they'rediminishing returns because
they're kind of just saying thesame thing and if you're not
really putting it into practice,how much are you really
improving or gaining?
So I read somewhere in the 70to 80 range.
I would have been probablybetter off picking like 7 or ten
(35:31):
of those and like fullyimplementing some of the
teachings that would have.
That would have been moreeffective.
But I learned later.
It was a kind ofprocrastination through learning
because it felt like I wasmaking progress.
I listened, I did a lot ofaudible, so I was listening to a
lot of the books at my desk.
It was getting me through theday.
I felt productive but I wasn'treally taking action.
So then I didn't.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
My situation didn't really improve yeah, and see,
and I'm not invalidating yourexperience, because I'm not
invalidating my experience, soI'm not invalidating anyone
experience who is reading a book.
Because, yeah, I, I heard aboutlike 50 plus self-improvement
books a year and um, but when,when my mind shifted, I realized
(36:14):
that it's a part of theillusion, like mind needs
knowledge, and it's a rabbithole of knowledge, and it's
knowledge and knowledge, butthat knowledge is very limited.
When and I and I mentioned, Imentioned in the post that in
the past two years, I haven'tread any books, and you probably
(36:39):
can make me to read booksBecause it's like I don't care
what's in there, it doesn'tmatter, because I know stuff.
Like I know Mind needsknowledge.
When you're in the, I have it,mind needs knowledge, the
awareness.
When you are in the state ofawareness, it's like wisdom.
You know you cannot explainthings, but you know.
(37:03):
And because now you are not thatliving in the illusion or in
the perception that you controlsomething, you know that every
moment is happening for you andeach moment and it may be that
someone says something or youwill come across a certain
(37:23):
information Like you just getthings Like oh my gosh, I'm not
kidding you, I need to knowsomething.
I need to know something, Ineed to know something.
And I'm like, okay, I shouldcheck this out, I should google
it, but I'm probably I don'tknow.
Let's say I'm um making dinner,I'm like later, and I just stop
(37:45):
it.
I'm like, yeah, and then mydaughter comes and holds the
phone and like mommy, look whatI found.
And she I'm like, okay, got it.
Like that, because now it's likeit's the reality, it's molding
to who you are, it's reflectingwho you are and you are not that
(38:07):
limited human.
You are not that limited humanwho thinks and believes that the
world is fixed and you need tocontrol it.
This is not an intellectuallevel.
Like this is really.
You need to live it, you needto be.
It's not oh, daniela said sothis will happen to me, no, and
(38:28):
you go really the path to thatis through being aware and
releasing and going through yourdeepest, deepest survival fears
.
So the path I went through itwas the hardest thing one can
imagine Like probably death isyou know, but that like really
it was.
It was hard because all yourdeepest fears come to the
(38:50):
surface and you need to justwatch it.
Watch it and the reality willgive it to you.
So that's probably.
That probably answers yourquestions of question of why
only one percent?
Because people want the comfort.
Even if it's a false sense ofcomfort and false sense of
safety, it's very addictive,addictive yeah, that's what
(39:15):
we've been, that's what we'vebeen societally programmed for.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
What?
How would people, what would beif they just wanted to, like,
learn more, just about awarenessand overcoming deep-seated
fears?
Like where would you guide them?
Like where would they get moreinformation?
Is it books?
Is it documentaries?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
I would like.
No, I would, I would.
I would tell them, follow myposts.
A lot, a lot of people notnecessarily everyone ends up to
be my clients and people tell me, daniella, huge help just
reading it, like somethingclicked, something clicked.
So that will be probably thefirst one and I would then say
practice being aware, practiceawareness.
(39:55):
You don't need any books.
If you need, if you need a book, it will come across, it will
come to you.
If you need someone, it willcome to you.
But really, the dependence andthe need to know is the false
sense of safety because you need, because you need to be okay,
living in the unknown, thatbeing in the present, living in
(40:19):
the present is living in theunknown.
I don't know what happenstomorrow, I don't know what
happens in two weeks.
I don't plan, I don't plannothing.
So it's really about what yousaid.
It's not about reading thebooks, it's not about listening
to podcasts.
Reading the books or doingcourses are great for systems
(40:40):
and processes and, to your point, you read something, you learn,
you implement it.
Oh, this is how I shouldstructure my post on LinkedIn,
for example Great stuff.
This is how I should structuremy post on linkedin, for example
, great stuff when it comes toself improvement, mindset and
everything.
The more you heal, the more youshift beliefs, the more you,
(41:01):
the more you are in the rabbithole of the mind.
You need to be, you need to beaware, and your life will show
you where your fears are, whereyour, your limitations are, and
you just keep being aware of it.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Yeah, fascinating stuff.
I feel like we could just keeptalking about this.
There's like so many layers wecould just continue to peel back
, but I feel like we've covereda lot.
Awareness, obviously, is thekey Overcoming those deep-seated
fears and just letting go,which is not easy to do.
What tell people obviouslyfollowing you on LinkedIn with
(41:36):
your content, which is veryintellectual and
thought-provoking, very uniqueon the platform?
I don't see hardly any postslike it.
How do they find you there?
And then I know you have awebsite.
Talk about that and then anykind of final thoughts or
parting wisdom that you wantsomeone to think about and take
with them.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Be silent and observe .
Any thought you have is a lie.
Any word you say is a lie.
Any word I say is a limitation,because the truth cannot be
learned.
The truth is really.
You need to experience it.
It's a perception and thatperception only comes really in
(42:19):
the now and from the awareness.
So be silent, spend time aloneand just be observing and being
aware and see where the lifetakes you, because you're always
where you need to be, everysingle moment love it.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
And what's the website?
Where can they find you?
Speaker 2 (42:29):
danielasulakcom.
So.
So it's my name.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Okay, and then I'll put that in the show notes.
I'll have links to yourLinkedIn profile and to the
website.
Daniel, thank you so much forcoming on sharing your wisdom
and insight.
This is truly, trulyfascinating.
I've not had a discussion likethis on the show yet, like this
is really next level stuff andI'm fascinated by it.
I think it's just a tremendousopportunity for people to
improve their just state ofbeing and being happier and just
(42:55):
getting more enjoyment out oflife and not just not fighting
it so much.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
That's why we are here, so thank you so much for
having me.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
Great Thanks, thanks, daniel.
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