EP 32: Embrace Accountability: Moriah Bacus on Transforming Ambitions & Building Community

What if embracing accountability could transform your ambitions into reality? 

Join me, David Young, alongside Moriah Bacus, an expert accountability coach and project manager, as we explore how her unique methods empower coaches and consultants to turn lofty visions into tangible outcomes. 

Moriah's story is one of transformation, from event management to helping others thrive in a post-COVID world. Learn about her commitment to a vegan and alcohol-free lifestyle, and how these choices have fueled her productivity and ability to foster meaningful connections in the city of Toronto.

We also navigate the complex journey of breaking bad habits and overcoming addiction, sharing personal insights into the power of public accountability and the psychological tools available to help you stay on track. 

Whether it's quitting alcohol or transitioning to a plant-based diet, Moriah and I discuss the positive ripple effects these lifestyle shifts can have on health, finances, and social circles. 

Discover the societal shifts towards acceptance of diverse lifestyle choices and how visibility and community support can lead you through transformative life changes.

Our conversation doesn't stop there. From mastering social media strategies for business growth to the intriguing concept of body doubling, we provide actionable advice for enhancing productivity and building a focused audience. 

Explore how community and mindset play crucial roles in personal and professional development, and how virtual co-working sessions can provide an introvert-friendly way to stay motivated. 

Moriah's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/moriahbacus/

Moriah's Website: https://vibehighhere.com/

David's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-young-mba-indy/

David's Website: https://davidjyoung.me/

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Real you Podcast.
This is episode number 32.
I'm David Young, your host.
I'm a LinkedIn content andbusiness coach.
I help coaches with less than3,000 followers grow their
businesses through betterstorytelling and content
creation.
I launched this podcast inMarch of 2024, smiling at
interesting people doing amazingthings.
Today, I'm joined by MariahBackus, an accountability coach,
project manager and fractionalchief of staff.

(00:22):
We'll discuss accountabilityand the unique ways Mariah and
her clients leverage it toaddress common coach challenges,
meet their goals, herproductivity recommendations,
how she uses social media, andher vegan and alcohol-free
lifestyle.
So, Mariah, thanks for comingon the show today.
Good to see you.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Thank you for inviting me, David.
I'm really looking forward toour conversation today.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah, absolutely so.
You're in Toronto.
Are you from Toronto?
Are you born and raised?

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Yeah, absolutely so.
You're in Toronto.
Are you from Toronto?
Are you born and raised?
Yeah, just outside of Toronto,in one of the suburbs, but yeah,
gta General, greater TorontoArea.
I've been here all my life.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Yeah, yeah, nice.
So I got to visit there lastsummer.
I was there for a few days andI have so many connections in
Toronto.
My wife gives me such a hardtime.
She was like let me getsomebody else from Toronto.
I'm like, well, yes, there'sother people in the world too.
She was like, yeah, buteverybody you talk to and
interact with they're all fromToronto.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
She was like I think that's it and you might be
visiting Toronto again soon, Ihope.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, so I'm in the process.
I bought one of those.
Have you ever done like ayearly calendar where you look
at the whole year at once?
So I bought one of those.
I did it a few years ago and itwas okay, so I thought I'd try
it again this year.
Anyway, it's in my officehanging up.
You can't see it behind me,it's hidden by the divider.
But I'm in the process oflooking at the year and trying
to figure it out.
But yeah, I would definitelylike to get back at least twice.
I know Rob's thing is inOctober.

(01:33):
Yeah, he's looking to expand it, I think, because it was one
day last year and I think he'stalked about maybe doing two
days this year.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
He's committed to two days this year.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Yeah, okay so locked in, so I would like to
definitely get back for that.
I tried to get up this year,it's just the logistics didn't
work.
But I'd like to do another trip, probably I don't know spring,
early summer again, because I'vemet so many more people from
when I was there.
So it'll be like a wholehergroup of people to try to
organize itineraries andschedules and stuff.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
But yeah, it's great and we need to meet in person.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
Yeah, for sure, Exactly yeah.
So looking forward to that andit was a great, reminded me a
lot of Chicago, but I reallyenjoyed, enjoyed my few days
there, yeah, yeah.
So just kind of talk about, canwe start with like your
background, like you know, kindof like what, what you do now
and how you got you know kind ofinto doing them.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Cool, okay, so right now I have a fun, multifaceted
role.
It's a combination of projectmanagement and accountability
coaching.
I support coaches andconsultants.
I help them take their bigdreams, their big visions and
actually put them into arealistic, sustainable,
achievable plan.
And we work inside projectmanagement tools.
So that involves just flushingthings out milestones, due dates

(02:46):
and then meeting with themregularly sometimes four days a
week, sometimes once a week,sometimes once every two weeks
whatever that person needs tohelp hold them accountable and
stay on track towards theirdaily goals.
And I'm not just supportingpeople professionally, but I'm
also able to support thempersonally.
So personal habits likeexercising regularly or waking
up at an earlier time, thingslike that, and how I got to this

(03:07):
point I'll try to keep it brief, but a lot of my background was
in admin and then, later on,event management.
I was in events for about 10years, full-time as well as
part-time on the side, and I wasjust at the point experiencing
a lot of burnout.
So I transitioned into HR and Iwas in a director role at an
events and associationmanagement agency.

(03:28):
So HR was new for me, butevents and association work
wasn't, because I had all thisexperience and events and like
11 volunteer roles onassociation boards.
So it was a great fit for methat way.
But unfortunately, covid hit ayear later and more than half of
their business was gone.
So they had a big restructuring, as many other events companies
did, and I was laid off.

(03:48):
So I found myself in thisposition where, okay, I've got
one year of HR experience, adirector title, applying for
jobs.
No one knew what to do with me,thought I wanted a whole lot of
money or whatever else, justlike hire me.
I just want something right.

(04:09):
So this went on for about sevenor eight months and then the
career coaches started vulturingaround telling me my LinkedIn
profile sucked and I needed tohire them.
And I started to get nervousbecause I was burning through
savings after all this time andI really just wanted to start
working again and I didn't knowwhat to do.
I didn't know, like, if Ishould hire someone and I
thought of Rob Gilbert, and thereason I thought of him is he
and I were connected from wayback in the day.
He used to be a DJ, as I'm sureyou know, and I was a former

(04:31):
club promoter part time, yeah,and so.
But as he had transitioned to HR.
He had a 13 year career in HR.
He left that and started acoaching business.
I had been following him onLinkedIn for about a year,
watching his starting hiscoaching business and how that
was taking off.
I knew he was working with newcoaches and I thought, okay,

(04:52):
maybe I could get some time withRob.
He can give me advice on how tohire a career coach, or maybe
he's working with a new careercoach where they're going to be
affordable for me and I can hirethem.
So I asked him for a call.
I offered to pay him for histime and he's like don't worry
about it, just get on the callwith me 10 minutes into that
call heidentified an opportunity and
asked if I had ever consideredcoaching.
And how that came up is.

(05:13):
He knew that I had broken a lotof bad habits in my past and
started a lot of new healthyhabits, and I had done so in a
way that just kind of camenaturally to me.
Like before I met Rob, I neverread Atomic Habits, right, or
any of those other books aroundthat, but it was just things
that I figured out how to dointuitively and he thought there
might be an opportunity for meto help other people with that.

(05:33):
And there was a really greatopportunity around that time
because we connected, let's say,in November.
I started working with him inJanuary of 2021.
And this is when a whole bunchof people that I was connected
with so a lot of people in themusic industry as well as the
events industries were at homeand, unfortunately, picking up a
lot of bad habits.
You know, folks were justdrinking more than they would

(05:55):
like, eating more than they werelike, et cetera, et cetera, and
so that was a great opportunityfor me to, you know, start
working with people.
So I developed like an eightweek program, which some people
did in 16 weeks, and I helped abunch of people break habits and
build new habits, and then whatstarted happening was they just
started asking me for helpgetting organized.
Like I laugh every time I tellthis story, I had clients who

(06:16):
were still using paper calendarson their desk in 2021 and
wondering why they were gettingdouble booked.
I'm like, let's get you ontoGoogle calendar or something
right so started doing stufflike that for them.
So it was interesting.
And then more and more of thatcame up.
And then Rob actually asked meto project manage his book Die
Before they Do.
So.

(06:37):
We started working together inMay 2021.
And that's when I just startedworking with more coaches and
consultants and I thought let meshelve the habits coaching
business, let me rebrand.
And that's when Vibe High VA,the previous version of the
business I have now evolved andit was like basically helping
coaches and consultants get shitdone in their businesses.

(06:59):
So we were doing creativeprojects and admin projects and
oh wow, there was like at least12 clients on the go at any time
and eight freelance teammembers.
And here I was like burnt outall over again.
So it was like let's scale thisback and you know, really focus
on helping coaches and clientsin this specific way that I do

(07:21):
now.
So now it's been about twoyears with this current version
of the business and I think I'velanded in the sweet spot of
where I'm really able to providevalue.
But I'm also enjoying the work,because this is the kind of
stuff I just love to do.
I love nerding out on projectmanagement and getting things
done.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
Awesome.
Yeah, that's a really well.
I mean, it's a fascinatingjourney, but it shows you the
power of LinkedIn, because youwouldn't have connected with Rob
had you not, had he not been onthere talking about what he was
doing by making that switch,and if you hadn't been on there
following right.
So that's kind of really thebeauty of the platform.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
It is.
And I'll say something else.
When I got on that call withhim and he brought up that
opportunity, I got off and Ialready had made up my mind that
evening that I was going towork with him before we even had
our second call.
And that's because we haddeveloped this parasocial
relationship where I haddeveloped it with him, he had
developed it with me.
Like I felt like as soon as Igot on the call with him I felt

(08:16):
like I knew him already becauseI'd been seeing him showing up
on video for the past 12 months.
So the next day it was just liketake my money and that was it,
right.
So, yeah, linkedin is superpowerful for that and definitely
showing up on video is huge forthat reason.
Right, really gives people anopportunity to get to know you
and start to feel like they cantrust you, right?

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, that makes me want to do more video content.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Me too.
I know it's hard for introverts, right, but slowly but surely,
with practice and doing thingslike being on podcasts is a
really great way to kind ofcross over that barrier, right.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, because Rob does a lot ofvideos.
He's an animated guy, like he's.
That's kind of his thing.
So I think it fits his personaand his personality pretty well.
Yeah, but you know, I thinkeven without that, even just
writing and just puttingyourself out there consistently,
and people are even readingyour story, hearing your story.
That's what, like you said, itbuilds trust, it builds

(09:14):
authority.
And you do feel like you get toknow people like pretty well,
because you're like oh, I'veread a hundred of their posts or
whatever, and I've seenpictures of their dog or their
kids or travel or whateverthey're into.
And so then, yeah, you start tobuild that relationship, which
is why you know it doesn't haveto be five or seven days a week,
but even just two or threetimes a week, but consistently,
week after week.
And then you know that's whereyou start to see progress.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, and it doesn't always have to be about the
thing you do.
It can be you know about you asa person, about what your
interests are, your hobbies andthings like that, and I love
seeing those kind of posts Likeanytime I see like a 10 things
you don't know about me.
I just love it so much becauseyou get to know people that way.
And when it comes to alignment,I think it is kind of important

(09:57):
to know about someone a bitpersonally in terms of, like
what's important to them andtheir values and things like
that.
Right, yeah, for sure, yeah,yeah, like what's important to
them and their values and thingslike that.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Right, yeah, for sure .
Yeah, yeah, I mean that's.
I agree.
I love those posts too, theabout me posts.
I don't think I think morepeople should do them.
I've done like a couple.
I probably could do more.
I think we forget that.
Not that many people are seeingour content, so we don't do

(10:30):
them that often, but a lot ofpeople aren't, or they don't
remember, so there's really noreason not to do it with a
little more, you know, frequency, I agree.
So, yeah, good, good remindernow.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
So that kind of leads me to.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
I know rob quit quit drinking quite a while ago and
you've talked about, you know,being alcohol free and also
vegan.
I don't know if rob's vegan,but not yet okay, you're trying
to, you're trying to just beinga good example yeah, so if you
want to talk like a little bitabout that while we're kind of
here, like what, what led you tothose decisions?
How long have you done it?
What have you noticed indifferent you know that kind of

(10:55):
talk about that.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Thanks for asking.
Yeah, I mean, I'll be fullytransparent.
Lots of bad habits in my pastdrugs, cigarettes, that sort of
thing.
I think the key is just dealingwith things one thing at a time
.
When we're working to get rid ofbad habits or overhaul, I think
we often have this like blackand white approach, where it's
like I got to do all the thingsall at once and, like you know,

(11:16):
beginning of the year when we'rerecording this is a really
great example of everyone withtheir unrealistic New Year's
resolutions and things like that.
So I slowly chipped away anddealt with things one thing at a
time.
It got to the point for mewhere I was too old to be
putting myself in dangeroussituations that alcohol caused
just maybe unsafe things likethat, and I would find that I

(11:39):
would say things that I wouldregret, do things that I would
regret, and it got to the pointthat there were literally no
pros and only cons.
There just wasn't any goodreason to continue.
And I one day, after drinkingwith a friend the next day, was
like okay, I just I don't wantto say rock bottom because it's
not like it was out on thestreets and that sort of thing

(12:01):
Right, but it was my like I'vehad enough and I want better for
myself now.
And I had also been on thiswellness journey.
So it was kind of like the nextprogression in my journey,
right, Dealing with the legaldrug of alcohol, right, the one
that's socially accepted, it'snormalized.
People question when you don'tdrink and how I went about doing

(12:21):
that is I just started tellingthe people that were important
to me like this is a decisionI've made.
Of course, I'm surrounded bygreat people, so everyone
understood and respected andnever questioned and never
pressured, and I bought lots ofPerrier like sparkling water was
like my kick after that and Imade sure to post my milestones.
And I think this idea of sharingyour progress publicly might be

(12:44):
something we touch onthroughout this conversation,
because it's been such apowerful tool for me.
I'll counter it by saying it'sa tool that a lot of people are
afraid to use, because what ifsomething happens?
And what if I make a mistake orwhat if I slip up?
And now people will know that Ifell off the bandwagon, but
that's okay.
So I went and I, a few weeksafter I had made the decision, I

(13:04):
posted about hey, it's been acouple of weeks and this is how
I'm feeling.
And then I posted my threemonths and my six month and my
year milestone and at two yearsI posted it and three years
again, and it's getting to thepoint that I'm over it.
However, I want to keep postingabout it because I want to show
people that there's otheroptions out there and I think by

(13:29):
talking about it we reduce thestigma.
It makes it a lot easier forpeople who are considering
cutting back or quitting toreach out and get support, so I
want to make sure that I'mvisible and available for anyone
that has questions around that.
In terms of the health benefits,well, obviously I haven't
experienced a hangover sincethen Like huge what I would find
, like I was a big brunch mimosagirly and like any plans I had
for later in the day were justshot to shit, because after you

(13:52):
get a couple drinks in you andthen you stop whatever, you just
feel gross afterwards and sothen I would lose any motivation
I had, so that affectedtimelines, getting things.
Maybe I might have to cancelplans with friends, so all of
that stress and drama that Ibrought upon myself completely
gone after I made that changeand so obviously you're saving

(14:13):
money and then obviously it'sgreat for you physically.
I got a lot of compliments onhow good I looked and things
like that.
I thought that was a prettypowerful shift.
Yeah, for sure A big change tomake at that time, until I went
vegan.
I always joke that like goingalcohol free was just such a
tiny warm up, because when youmake a choice like not eating

(14:36):
animals anymore, that's whenpeople really start to, because
it presents some cognitivedissonance.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
For sure.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Right, and I think it's projected on the person
who's made a change right, 100%.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
I had a recent guest on who also has not had alcohol
for I think about three, alittle over three years, yeah,
and one of the things that shehad mentioned she did and she
quit, basically cold turkey,like on her own, you know no
help or anything, but she had areally good idea.
Like on her own, you know nohelp or anything, but she had a
really good idea.
She was.
I can't remember.
She said she was writing itlike in a in a journal or she
was tracking it, but she waslooking at the number, like

(15:10):
literally one, two, three, likecounting the days, yeah, and she
got to like I don't know, day75 or 80 or something.
And then she it was so visiblebecause she was keeping track
that when she had that urge todrink she couldn't stand the
thought of going back to one orzero, and so that was the

(15:30):
motivator.
She was like I have to go to 86or 87 or whatever the number
was, and I thought that wasreally interesting and you could
apply that obviously toanything you were trying to
change.
But I thought that was a greatpsychological tip because you
know, especially somethingyou've done for a while, it's
very hard to just stop doing it.
Uh, and it's addictive, right,just like nicotine, yeah, and.

(15:51):
But I thought that was reallycool, like little tip that she
used when the pool was thehardest.
So, yeah, no, I applaud you forthat.
The no hangovers is yeah, it'suh, it's a totally different
feeling.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
It really is Like the interesting thing is going out.
Dancing is like my biggesthobby.
I try to as much as I can, but,as you can imagine, in
nightclubs everyone's drinkingand doing other things as well,
so I still want to be able to goand enjoy myself.
So that was a bit of aninteresting adjustment, because
you know, as soon as it hitsmidnight, everyone's totally
wasted and spitting on your facetalking to you, right?

(16:27):
So it's been an adjustment.
However, more and more of thepeople in my orbit are starting
to make that choice and thatdecision.
So when I go out with friends,oftentimes there's a few of us
that aren't even drinking at all, and that's and that's good.
So more and more people aremaking this shift and I love
this idea of the person youspoke with doing habit tracking
Huge, not breaking the streak,right.
So you can do that for thingsthat you're trying to do, but

(16:47):
also for things that you'retrying not to do.
So what she was doing iscounting the days she didn't do
the habit right.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah, it's super powerful, yeah, super cool.
I think we talked about it alittle bit on that episode too,
but it is becoming moreprevalent.
I think there's a big shift.
I hear about people havingmocktail parties.
There's a lot more availability, totally different or
completely improved selection ofnon-alcoholic beers and wines,
and even non-alcoholic bourbon,which I didn't even know existed

(17:14):
.
So I think it used to just belike O'Doul's.
I feel like it was just likeO'Doul's and nothing else.
It's the only thing I can everremember, when I was in that
part of life, that if you wantedalcohol, without alcohol, I
would do what I feel like wasyour only choice, whereas now
there's a lot of pretty big beermakers that make a
non-alcoholic version, which Ithink is good marketing.

(17:36):
But it's just good for peoplewhere you don't feel quite as
left out if you go to a party orwhatever.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
You want to hold something that looks like a
drink, so people don't bug youparty or like whatever.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
You want to hold something that looks like a
drink so people don't bug you.
Essentially, yeah, one of thethings she she said she did soda
water with a lime yeah and thennope, and then nobody, really
ever yeah, there's great wineproxies too like that apparently
like.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
I've seen some blind taste tests and people chose the
taste of the proxy over thereal wine, believe me not yeah
we can always do like whitegrape, like white grape juice or
white grapefruit juice orwhatever it looks.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
If you pour it in a wine glass like nope, I mean
it's not like anybody's gonnacome up and like, just you know
drink it or smell it.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
So and you know there's a few coaches who are
helping people live alcohol free.
I'll shout out coach courtneypeters helping people live
alcohol free, which is reallycool.
So there's resources out,people who can help, right.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
For sure.
So the vegan part isinteresting.
So I did that for a year Didyou.
About 10 years ago, so it wasthe summer of 2015.
And I was not in a great placein my life.
And I came across Rich Roll.
Do you know who Rich Roll?

Speaker 2 (18:42):
is.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
So I came across.
I saw him in a magazine.
It was like a vegan-friendlymagazine.
He'd written an article.
That's the first time I saw him.
I ended up buying his book,Finding Ultra, read the book,
which is all about the ultramarathons, him finding changing
his whole, overhauling his wholelife and going plant-based and
obviously started the podcast.
So that kind of intrigued me.
And then never done triathlonsbefore.

(19:04):
I'd done some running races butI was thinking of getting a
triathlon.
So I thought, well, there'sthese ultra endurance athletes
that are eating this way.
If they can do it, I'm nevergoing to get to anything that
level, so I'll give it a try.
Then I made my wife watch oneof the documentaries on Netflix
I don't remember which one andthen she got really mad at me.
She's like I can't believe youmade me watch that, and so so we

(19:24):
did it for a year.
She went back to like just morelike vegetarian pretty quickly,
but I was pretty hardcore foralmost a year and then it was
just too difficult.
Our kids were young at the timewe ended up having like two
dinners and so hard to go out toeat.
Back then it was it's gottenbetter now, but like it was
really hard to find meals atrestaurants, yeah.

(19:45):
So I kind of after the year waslike all right, so I went back
to vegetarian and we did thatfor about eight years, but I had
been really sick.
I had gotten sick a lot in thattime.
Yeah, and so finally, it's abouta little over a year ago.
I was working with a healthcoach and he was like I can't
prove it and there's no test.
I it's, it's the chemistry.

(20:11):
I just don't think you'regetting enough nutrients with
what you're eating, which is whyyou're getting sick.
He was like you know again, Ican't really prove it, but it's
just like my opinion.
So it was about February oflast year, so we're approaching
a year we did go back to eatingUh, we do go back to eating meat
, but um, but no, I applaud it.
It's very difficult.
It's gotten better becauseagain, it's a little bit more

(20:33):
accepted.
There are a lot more options,there are a lot more restaurants
that cater to it, yes, or justcompletely vegan restaurants and
stuff which is relatively new.
So it certainly is gettingeasier, but I think it is still
a challenge for a lot of peoplebecause, just as society, we
were just kind of taught andraised that we eat hamburgers
and chicken and pork.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
And that's just what we do 100%, it's conditioning.
It's actually an invisiblebelief system.
So I compare it to me beingborn into a religion I was born
into, you know, and it's thesame thing.
So, specifically, carnism isthis invisible belief system
that it's just okay to eat otheranimals we're animals too.
And then speciesism, which is aninteresting one, which is the
why we don't eat dogs but we eatcows.
They're so similar and it'sjust how society has programmed

(21:21):
us.
But I'm a big, firm believer inbucking societal trends and not
doing what people want me to do, right, and that for me it's so
similar to your wife.
I watched a documentary, buthow it happened is again part of
my wellness journey.
I went down a rabbit hole withsome YouTube videos.
I was just like, why are peopletalking about oils so much?

(21:43):
Let me just find some stuff tolook at.
And as I was looking at it andthe videos about meat were
popping up and one of one of thereasons that I also quit
alcohol was because it's acarcinogen, same with cigarettes
and all that, as is meat.
So it just from a health.
I went into this first for thehealth perspective and I thought
, well, again now that I knowthis now and I knew already, but

(22:05):
the reminder, now that I'veseen it, I can't unsee it.
And it made me make thatdecision.
And of course, it was just awhole weekend of the rabbit hole
, of all of the otherdocumentaries and when I started
to see what was the truthbehind how animals are treated
and just factory farming ingeneral.
Animals are bred into existenceto be eaten.
It was just something Icouldn't go forward with, so it

(22:29):
was an overnight decision.
I had purchased a whole bunch ofgroceries right before this, so
I went through and I did aninventory and I put on a
spreadsheet all of the thingsthat I didn't want to eat
anymore and I sent it to myfriend and I said buy this food
off me.
She was like okay, and so shedid, and so I got to clear out.
It's definitely it was a hugelearning for me and a process

(22:52):
that I actually enjoyed, becauseit allowed me to go a lot
deeper into just nutrition as awhole.
And you know, it's funnybecause non-vegans will say well
, where?
do you get your protein andwhere do you get your calcium?
And I can counter it by sayingdo you even know how much
protein or calcium you get?
Like, people don't usuallytrack that kind of stuff Most
people but it put me in aposition where now I'm tracking,
now I have to pay attention,and so even things that I should

(23:19):
have been doing before, liketaking a vitamin D supplement
because I'm in Canada, there'slike not a lot of sun in the
winter I wasn't doing, so thingsthat I did in tandem with
making this change just were ahuge improvement mental health
and that sort of thing.
So there was a lot of learningto be done.
At first I was like what do Imake for breakfast?
Because I used to be a big eggburrito girl.

(23:39):
Right, I posted about it.
You know, batch prep yourbreakfast burritos and it's like
well, what do I do now?
When I landed on smoothies,that's when everything changed
for me.
It opened up a whole new world.
But it takes some work, it takessome planning, but a lot of the
things that people will tellyou are just simply not true.
You don't need to buypre-processed vegan food.
That costs a lot more.
You can do beans and rice andguess what?
That's a complete amino acid,right, and so things like that.

(24:01):
It can actually be quiteaffordable.
You can save some money on yourbills, right?
So and that sort of thing.
So, yes, I've seen that I detoxfrom cheese, which is probably
another reason it's hard forpeople and people laugh at that.
But the protein, casein, that'sbroken down, this is actually
an addictive substance.
So when you hear people like,oh, but I can't give up cheese,

(24:21):
it's literally because we areaddicted to cheese.
It was really good Right andthat was hard and because of my
past experience with coming offdrugs, I know what that feels
like.
So I have a leg to stand onhere and guess what?
Day five and day six was rough.
I'm like what is happening andI realized I'm with, I'm in
withdrawals from cheese.
Once I got past that, it wasfine.

(24:42):
And again there's so many greatproducts.
Now you can't expect all of thevegan products to taste just
like the non-vegan products, butafter a while your taste buds
adjust and you get used to it.
And now my diet has so muchmore variety than it ever did.
Like.
I never cooked with tofu before, I didn't know how, and now I'm
like all the time because it'sso versatile.

(25:03):
So it's taught me a lot.
I've learned a lot more aboutnutrition, I'm taking care of
myself a lot better and it'sopened up a wider variety of
foods in my diet, which, as youknow, is great for our gut
microbiome right, having thatgood variety.
So, yeah, it hasn't been easy,but I have gone through most of
life's important events now.
So I attended a wedding,christmas, I celebrated my

(25:24):
birthday, so it is possible, butit takes some effort.
And now, shortly after Istarted, my motivation and my
reasons shifted and the numberone reason became about the
animals.
And I'll share why.
If I make this about my health,just like with exercise, I
might get lazy or something andthen I might fall off it,
because it's just about me.

(25:44):
But because I've made it aboutthis external source and that'll
never change what's happeningto them.
That's what's made my resolveso firm.
So it's for the animals, it'sfor the environment and it's for
my health.
And because I've made that theprimary reason, I won't waver,
just knowing me, because what'shappening to them will never
change.
Yeah, that's where I'm at withthat right now.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Awesome.
No, yeah, I applaud that.
I will still eat tofu.
I still drink Ripple milk, ifyou're familiar with that
product.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
Is it like an oat milk or?

Speaker 1 (26:12):
it's a pea.
It's a pea based oh cool yeah,based milk yeah, I still have
that some mornings most of theI'll eat some frozen meals for
lunch.
Almost all.
I still buy almost all of theplant-based version of those.
I got used to eating those andI like them better than anything
else.
So, yeah, so I still I didn'tlike completely give it up, but

(26:32):
mostly it's just like dinnerslike we.
Just we added back you knowit's a lot of chicken, just
because it's easier for us tomake and our schedules are
really busy and whatnot.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
With kids, little kids too.
You were mentioning abouthaving to make two different
meals.
I think with kids it's easierto, just from when they're born,
start that way.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yeah, they don't get used to it.
Yes, way, yeah, they don't getused to it.
Yes, but once, like my youngest, because he was kind of born.
He was born in late 13, so hewas still pretty young when we
switched.
For a while he had not had likeany of the traditional, you
know, meats and I remember thefirst, the first time we had I
don't know if it was pork orsteak and he was just like you

(27:10):
guys have been holding.
We could have been having thisthe whole time.
I've lost eight years of beingable to eat this like I was like
, well, you appreciate it morenow.
So, yeah, um, that was, thatwas fun, yeah, but yeah.
So, yeah, you're probably likethe healthiest person I'll ever
have on the show no animalproducts and no alcohol.
So I don't know if you, you canbe top, true, but no, it's good

(27:31):
.
I applaud you for doing it'snot easy.
I mean, I'm sure you probablystill get, you know, either foot
pushback or made fun of orsomething, not necessarily by
the people that know you, butlike from other outsiders,
because, again, it's, it ispretty still, you know,
non-traditional um, okay, uh,looks fine on my end, but we can
, yeah, we can try that, if youwant.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
I'm just going to do a quick thing here.
Yes, so you asked me about ifpeople have been bugging me or
teasing me about going vegan, soI don't post about it a lot.
I did in the beginning when Iwas feeling, you know,
especially sort of excited aboutit, and I'm doing that for a
reason because I feel likearguing with people in the

(28:13):
comments is not the best use ofmy time and they're really not
there to learn.
They are there to just pick afight and lash out.
So I have just decided to againlike lead by example and focus
on doing what I'm doing andbeing available as a resource
for people.
So if people have questions,they can ask me about it and I

(28:34):
might start talking about it.
You'll see me post about it onEarth Day usually, and maybe
around the anniversary of when Iwent vegan, which is, you know,
april 10th.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Of 24?

Speaker 2 (28:48):
23.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yeah, it'll be coming up on two years in.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
April yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
Got it Okay.
No, I think it's really cool,so we'll move on from that.
Other social media do you use?
Obviously, we talked aboutLinkedIn a little bit.
You're active there.
Do you use Instagram, facebook,tiktok, anything else to put
your message out there, or is itpretty much solely LinkedIn?

Speaker 2 (29:12):
I'm on Instagram, but only primarily because of my
clients, where it's theirprimary platform.
So also, sometimes there mightbe someone that I'm interested
in working with but they're notas active on LinkedIn because
Instagram is their primaryplatform.
So I want to be able to supporttheir content.
So that's where I'm at.
So I tend to just bring overanything that I'm posting on

(29:33):
LinkedIn and repurpose it onInstagram, but it's not my main
platform.
I just try to focus on LinkedIn.
I'm on Facebook, but it's justfor personal.
I did have a Facebook group atsome point when I was doing the
habits and account was thehabits coaching, and that's
because there were so manypeople from the events world as
well as music that were inFacebook with me.
So it made sense to have thegroup, but once I switched over

(29:54):
I shut that down.
So just LinkedIn.
I might might think aboutbringing back YouTube at some
point.
I work with a longtime friendof mine, sasha, aka DJ Sashi,
and we put together these hourand a half long mixed sets of
music for focus and inspiration,and for now they're being
shared on my SoundCloud account.

(30:15):
However, we're seeing anopportunity to have those sets
up on YouTube with a bit of agraphic so people can kind of
stream them there, becausepeople often go to YouTube for
that sort of thing like focus,music and whatnot.
So I might expand and bringback the YouTube and then be
able to share, you know,interviews and things like that
there as well.
But for right now it's justprimarily LinkedIn for me.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
Got it.
Yeah, nice.
I mean, you've got your foot ina couple of different doors and
, like you said, it is good toknow where your clients are.
So if you have to be on anotherplatform because that's where
they are, then it's good to knowthat.
Linkedin obviously isincredibly powerful.
What you were talking aboutthere with the music, you just
shared a video, I think prettyrecently Was that one of those

(30:55):
collaborations?

Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, the series is called Flow State of Mind.
And the idea is, I've neverliked listening to music with
lyrics when I've been in deepwork mode, because, especially
when writing and I don't know ifyou feel the same if someone is
singing in your ear, how canyou be typing words?
It's just, I don't know, like aconflicting input or something,
and so and I really likeprogressive house, so I'm going

(31:18):
to nerd out about this for aminute.
It's a sub genre of house musicand it's called progressive
because it builds in a way thatit allows your brain to
anticipate what's coming nextand that creates this really
cool dopamine hit, uh.
So I've always've always lovedthis kind of house music, and it
also works well for focus andproductivity when the lyrics are

(31:40):
limited.
And Sashi, this is one of thetwo styles that she specializes
in.
Her and I know each other fromour events days.
We actually first met on a boatcruise party, realized we were
both working in the eventsindustry.
Then one day, when I decided togo back to school for a
certificate, I come to class andshe's in the class, ok.
So we end up working on all ofthese projects together over the

(32:03):
course of the couple of yearsand like acing all of them
having great dinner partieswhile working on our work.
We've always collaborated reallywell.
Now we kind of just driftedapart.
She had a kid, I was doing myown thing, but recently got back
together and I don't even knowhow this came up, but it was
like let's do this and we havefour editions of it now.

(32:24):
We started last spring, we'redoing them seasonally and we're
going to continue this year andI think it's been a really nice
compliment even to the coworkingclub that I have.
So during co-working calls,where everyone's focused on deep
work, they can also belistening to Flow State of Mind,
and right now we have six hoursof continuous music between the
four mixes and it's starting togrow and it's really exciting
because I didn't know how itwould all be received on

(32:46):
LinkedIn.
It's house music, it'selectronica, it's kind of maybe
not the norm, and now I havepeople commenting, oh, I was
waiting for the next mix, or Ialways look forward to these.
I'm like, oh, this is so cool.
So, yeah, it's kind of a neatway to work on.
Like collaboration is one of mycore values, so it's a really
neat way to be able tocollaborate with someone I love

(33:07):
and bring something that I'mpassionate about to this
audience that might not haveotherwise been exposed to it.
So, yeah, it's been a lot offun.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
Yeah, no, that's the first time I remember seeing.
Maybe I saw the others and justdidn't hold on to it, but the
one you just did recently Ithought was good and was it like
?
Was it the recap?
Was it the 24 recap?
I'm trying to think what thewhat it was.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
I'm not sure either.
Oh, that is something different.
So I was doing a vibe, high Q&Awith the experts, essentially,
and I've been interviewingcoaches and consultants.
Some are my clients, some arepeople in my orbit and the goal
there I'm only doing one more ofthese interviews coming up in
the new year and then we'll bedoing a wrap on that, and that's
just because I'm shiftingdirection.

(33:47):
But that's been a really neatexperience too because, just
like this conversation that youand I are having, and anytime
you're interviewing someone, itjust really deepens the
connection, allows you to get toknow each other, and I think it
oftentimes opens upopportunities to work together.
And so I try to interviewcoaches and consultants that my
audience would find value fromlearning from them, and the

(34:08):
primary things we talk about islike what are your tips for
starting, growing and beingsuccessful in a coaching
business?
And they have been sovulnerable and transparent and I
think that's the greatest valuetalking about like mistakes
they made, learnings they hadalong the way, and people again
have been finding that reallyvaluable too.

(34:29):
So I've been experimenting witha lot last year in terms of
like what I was doing withmarketing and I mentioned.
I'm kind of shelving that andthat's because I'm moving
towards email marketing.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
Well.
But I think that that's the keyand I think you know, talking
about people starting out inbusiness, I think experimenting
is underrated and not talkedabout, because we're kind of
taught to come up with an ideaand then just do it and it might
work, but it probably won't,because you don't know until you

(35:00):
start doing.
So I think we should embraceand encourage more experimenting
and action taking and doing totry to figure things out,
because it will continuallyshift and then you eventually
will land in a spot that feelspretty good and then you can
make some subtle tweaks here andthere, but then you're kind of
good.
But I don't think a lot ofpeople can just be like yep,
this is my idea for business orcoaching or whatever, and then
that's it, because there's somuch unknown and you can't think
your way there and you won'treally ever know until you

(35:23):
actually do it.
So I think more people shouldtake that kind of.
It's almost like thinking likean engineer right, you're trying
to solve a problem.
Well, engineers don't just comeup with one solution and then
that's it.
Right, they're tinkering andworking, and working backwards
and forwards and just all thesedifferent experiments, and then
they kind of figure out like,okay, this doesn't work, this
kind of does, and then they kindof move from there.

(35:43):
It's kind of that same, thatsame mindset, where you're
constantly kind of tinkeringbecause, like you said, your
energy, like what you're drawnto, what feels good, what do you
like doing?
You can't figure that out inyour head.
No, you have to actually do it.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
It reminds me of something you and I have talked
about before, and that's nichingdown.
Not your favorite topic, I know, but it's a great example,
because when we start ourcoaching businesses, it's like
you must niche down, you mustniche down.
And then so many of us get inthis panic like what's my niche?
What's my niche?
But it's kind of like a chickenand egg sort of thing where
like and you're probablyexperiencing this too you're
figuring out your niche as yougo and sometimes it's a process

(36:27):
of elimination.
Well, I don't wanna do that, Idon't wanna work with that kind
of person and I don't think it'ssomething a lot of people can
just know off the bat.
How is your journey withniching down going?
What are your?

Speaker 1 (36:38):
thoughts on that.
Yeah, it's a good.
I mean, we could spend an hourjust on niching alone.
I think it's a good point youmade, though, about also it
works in finding out what youdon't want to do, because you're
often going into it like, well,this is what I want to do,
which is that's also good, buteliminating what you don't want
also, that's a good outcome.
So if you're like that doesn'twork for me, you scrap it and

(36:58):
you don't do it anymore.
That you know you'reeliminating by you're adding by
eliminating.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yeah, I agree.
I think that I think the adviceto new, new, whatever it
doesn't have to be coaching,whatever kind of business you're
in, I think niching at first isvery difficult, unless you just
have a super specificbackground where you're like
I've done this work and now thisis just a branch of that, then
maybe.
But if you're coming into itand it's a relatively new

(37:26):
venture for you, then I thinkyou have to start broad and you
take the hit because, yes, itwill be a little bit harder to
attract people because you don'treally know what you're looking
for and they don't really knowthey're looking for you and
that's okay.
But you will then, as you'reworking with them or as you're
going, it will start to showitself.
So I mean, I didn't really do ituntil less than two months ago,
so it took me seven or eightmonths to finally just say I'm

(37:48):
going to work with coaches withsmaller followings and their
main reason was because I stillhave a small following too, but
comparatively it's bigger.
So I'm farther ahead in thejourney because I've done this
now for 18 months and so someonethat's like I'm three or four
months in, I know so much morethan them and so I can help them
do it.
So it just it made sense, butit wasn't, that was not obvious,

(38:10):
like when I first kind of youknow went down this path.
So that definitely takes time.
I am a believer now I don'tknow if I was for a while, but I
do think it helps eventuallybecause it just does.
It clarifies the message forwho you're talking to and it
just makes it easier for clientsto be like.
That person is an option for me, but it does take a while.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
It does take a while.
Yeah, I mean, and it's kind ofa conundrum, right, because we
want to speak to everyone, butif we speak to everyone it's
often not landing with anyoneand this takes some time to get
our heads around that.
If we speak to a specific kindof person, they're going to feel
heard and seen, but we'll alsobe bringing in other people at
the same time.
We don't lose out on everyonejust because we're speaking to a

(38:54):
specific person.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
Now, yeah, well, it's reverse psychology.
Because you think I'll speak tothe masses, I'll get more
clients.
It's the opposite I'll speak toone specific group, I'll get
less clients, you get more.
It works completely.
180 of what you think Becauseyou're right, even if you are
talking to one specific groupother people that are adjacent,
it think Because you're right,even if you are talking to one
specific group other people thatare adjacent, it's not like

(39:18):
you're not excluding them andyou can still help them and they
can kind of figure that out.
But yeah, it just takespractice and time execution.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
I really like what you discovered about how,
basically, your clients are aprevious version of you and this
is not new news to us, butmaybe this can be a bit of a
shortcut for anyone out therewho's like what is my niche?
Maybe a starting point could belook at the year ago version of
you and can you help thatperson.
So maybe for whoever'slistening that might be the

(39:50):
starting point Just help an oldversion of you because you have
experience, yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
And I remember hearing that kind of at the
beginning.
And for me, if you run theclock back the calendar back to
18 months ago, when I gotstarted, I had no social media
experience.
I had no LinkedIn experience.
I couldn't coach anyone oncontent or profile optimization
or anything.
I didn't know anything about it.
So then it would have been likecareer coaching, because I'd
hired three career coaches, I'dstruggled in my career.

(40:18):
Could I have done that?
I mean probably.
But then we never really got tothat point and then we ended up
moving to content.
And then I kind of got in it.
The niche again kind of createditself.
And then now we know now we'reall set.
But yes, it is, that isdefinitely a good place to start
.
And then kind of think, likewhere were you really struggling
?
What would you have paid for,like if you to your the version

(40:42):
of you two years ago, like whatwould you have paid to get you
know, help with?
And then you know that can be agood kind of entry point into
if you have a project or servicethat you're thinking about.

Speaker 2 (40:51):
Yeah, I agree when your clients are like I know a
lot of my clients come to me andlike one of the biggest things
they're struggling with is likeexactly what you do.
I'm really curious to hear whatthey say to you when they meet
with you for the first time.
I'm just kind of curious ifwe're hearing the same sort of
thing.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
I would say most of what I hear is I don't know what
to write about.
I don't know when to write it, Idon't know how to get clients,
I don't know how to make mycontent align with my experience
, that then someone can kind ofsee the connection between me,
my background, my content andhow I help, and then they then

(41:31):
kind of struggle with thestructure and organization of
content and how to think longterm about it.
You can think about what I'mgoing to write tomorrow.
Are you really thinking aboutit's January 8th?
What is my 90-day plan for mycontent and what's the journey I
want to take some on over thesenext three months or six months
, it doesn't matter.
So there's no long-term plan.

(41:52):
It's really just like oh,tomorrow I'm going to write
about this and then Friday, okay, oh, yeah, I'll write about
this.
Which is, you can do it thatway, but it's very hard to grow
your business that way becauseit's all over the place and
people have a really hard timeconnecting you with the message.
It's just like kind of randomright.
So it's really working withpeople on Like one of the first

(42:12):
things I do is create.
Usually it's like a 30-day.
We usually do it in 30-daychunks.
So I do like here's the next30-day, here's 20 post ideas, so
they don't have to take them.
But I take a combination ofwhat I know about them and their
business.
I put that together and I'mlike here's at least a guide.
So if you get stuck, writeabout this.
If you have something else youwant to talk about, like, go
ahead.
But at least that gives themlike and it's.

(42:35):
You know we can't.
I don't want to get in theweeds of like content creation,
but there's obviously differentareas to talk about and you want
to.
You're painting that story andit's personal and it's expertise
and it's value and all thatstuff.
But you're doing that in a waythrough storytelling that makes
sense to your audience.
But I find that people reallystruggle.
It's not natural.
It does not come naturally tomost people that I've talked to

(42:56):
no and that whole like preparingahead of time.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
I always hear that like it doesn't really happen
for me so much.
I don't know why, but peoplecomplain about I write a post
and it's not going to be postedfor two weeks and by the time
the posting date comes I don'tfeel like posting about it
anymore.
Like so what do you encouragepeople to do generally?
Because and I know you tend tolike things to post you tend to
like to write your post kind ofa little closer to your posting

(43:20):
date, right?

Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yeah, yeah, I write the day before almost
exclusively the day, the day ornight before, and it's mostly
written by feel.
So it's just kind of what Ifeel.
Now.
I have a bunch of ideas though,so it's not like I just sit
down and then like come up withsomething, like I kind of know
what the post will be about, butthe way it ends up coming out,
you know my mood and what'sgoing on.

(43:41):
So there's some factors there.
So, yeah, if you can write twoweeks ahead of time or a month
ahead of time, I mean that'sgreat, it's certainly very
efficient.
I just I've tried it.
I just can't do it.
Like my brain just doesn'tprocess content in a way that I
can write something for nextWednesday or something.
Yeah, but you can still puttogether like a rough outline

(44:01):
and like, if you can see kind ofwhat you want to talk about,
you can obviously tweak it asyou're going, you can change it.
Things come up that you want totalk about, but at least that
way you kind of know.
Again, this really pertains topeople that are running
businesses.
Like you're trying to sell aproduct or service, there is a
way to create content thatpositions you as someone to do

(44:23):
business with.
That is much different thanjust like your general content
pillars of a little bit about meand a little bit about my
business and some case studies.
There's more to it than that.
So to be able to understandthat and do that and I've seen
it firsthand because I'vecreated content one way and that

(44:44):
did not move my business andnow I created a different way
and it does.
So I can speak to the beforeand after.
It does matter.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
Yeah, I love that and I love how you're okay with
there not being one right way toapproach it.
Like with so many things,there's differences to the way
our brains work, the way weoperate and, yeah, like you said
, some people might be able toprepare a month out and other
people are just like no, I needto be writing about what I'm
actually feeling right now.
I found a bit of a sweet spotin a combination of the two and

(45:14):
what that looks like for me islike pre-writing some of this
stuff.
But then the part that I tendto do more on the spur of the
moment might be when I'm sharingclips, such as like ones from
conversations like this, wherethe week of I might look at the
various clips we have and seedoes any of this align with
something else I've just postedabout or I'm about to post about
?
And then I'm able to likealmost theme them out that way.

(45:37):
So the clip posts I'll postthat might be more spur of the
moment as they align with stuffI pre-planned, and that's fun
and keeps it fresh for me too.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
No, yeah, that's a great way to do it.
And you're right, it ispersonal, everybody's different.
Their schedules are different,their brains are different,
their writing process isdifferent.
So, yeah, there is definitelynot a one size fits all, but
there is an overall strategy,content, way to move you forward
in your business with messagingthat I think a lot of people

(46:06):
just don't.
I think it's a combination ofnot knowing and then just not
really understanding.
So that's honestly why you hiresomeone that can help you do it
, because you just save yourselfso much.
You're always paying with timeor money and you just save
yourself so much time to justhave somebody be like this works
.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, how much time we would allsave if we just stayed in our
zone of genius and delegated andoutsourced.
There's professionals like youto help.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
Exactly Talk about your.
You mentioned a little bit agobut the work sessions, the body
doubling I think you were thefirst person to explain body
doubling to me.
And then, yeah, just talk abouthow that works.
I think that's a prettyfascinating kind of concept and
the way you set that up.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Like the science behind it.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
Well, just the science behind it.
But then just like the group,like the working sessions, even
just being on remotely but justhaving your computer up and
seeing other people that areworking on projects and stuff.
It's just a pretty cool, prettycool thing yeah it is really
neat.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
I'm learning that.
You know, often the coachingcommunity is like the last to
learn about things.
I don't know why this strategyhas been well known in the ADHD
community for a really long timebody doubling and I think, as
far as I understand it actuallystarted out.
It was kind of discovered,coined by, I think, a
psychologist who was supportinga client and discovered that

(47:25):
this client did well when theyhad someone sitting next to them
just even sitting next to them,and, better yet, doing a
similar task, and so there'ssomething about it.
It's kind of like it helpsanchor the person.
The main person who has the bodydouble also feels like a sense
of responsibility.
Person B has given their time,has committed to being here.

(47:46):
I need to be respectful of thatand keep doing what I'm
supposed to be doing whilethey're here that sort of thing.
It also serves as a referencegroup.
So if we think about an exampleI'm going to reference atomic
habits he talks about, like ifyou're trying to start a running
habit that's relevant for you,join a running group because
you're now creating, you're nowgoing to be associating with a
group of people that have theshared goal and who are living

(48:08):
the same lifestyle.
So that's what's called areference group, right?
So same thing happens in acoworking call where we're all
body double A.
It's like these people are allhere focused on productivity and
getting things done.
I'm going to do that too, likewe.
We want to assimilate.
It has to do with I think youknow that safety and being part
of the tribe, and there's alsothis mirror neuron thing that

(48:30):
they talk about, which theexample is like if you see
someone else yawn, you juststart to yawn.
It's like you it's notconscious.
So the same thing happens whenwe're watching someone else work
away on their task.
We just unconsciously feel thaturge to do that as well.
So there's a lot of really neatways this works.
And what's?
I've heard two kind of commentscome up about it oh, I don't

(48:53):
need that because I can just dodeep work on my own and I don't
have a problem with it.
Right?
So that comes up.
And then there's the people whothey don't.
But for the people who don'thave a challenge with deep work,
I will challenge that to say weall have something we
procrastinate on.
I even do.
I'm not immune to this.
What's my job?
Like taxes is my thing.
Look, I haven't said thatpublicly before, but taxes is my

(49:15):
thing.
So someone like me I'd want tojoin a weekly call, because
that's me carving out time to dothat thing that I always
procrastinate on.
I feel like I don't know if itwas you or someone else who
expressed this to me afterjoining a co-working call for
the first time was that even theact of saying yes to joining
the co-working call puts you inthat frame of mind.

(49:36):
I've committed to thisappointment where I'm going to
do this thing that I said I wasgoing to do.
So even that first step ofcommitting.
And then, of course, we get onthe call.
The beginning of the call we,either verbally or in the chat,
you know, share what we'reworking on during the hour, and
that's really fun because at theend there's that brief
celebration of like okay, whatdid everyone get done?
Let's celebrate you.
And it's really really cool tobe like I got the proposal done,

(49:57):
I got the budget done, I gotthe offer done or whatever it is
, and there's just so manythings you can do during that
time.
I mean, as long as it's at acomputer desk, like cleaning
your office is not a great ideabecause it distracts people, but
like as long as the kind ofcomputer work, white work.
It's a really great way to getthings done and oftentimes
people like whoa, where did thehour go?
because you really just get intothat groove.

(50:18):
There's something about beingwatched, if you think about it.
A lot of us come from acorporate background where we're
used to being watched, andthat's how we got things done.
We used to have a boss lookingover our shoulder.
That's part of the reason Ihave this job.
That I'm doing now is becausethere's so many of us out there
who aren't used to just havingour own schedule and doing what
we want when we want, and thereneeds to be a little more

(50:41):
structure.
So tools like a co-working callor an accountability
partnership, things like thatreally help kind of fill that
gap when we're getting used toworking on our own.
It's not necessarily somethingwe'll always need to have
forever, but you do need toappoint some external factors
influencing you, motivating you,until you build that intrinsic

(51:02):
motivation.
It's like with any habit.
We often don't have thatinternal driver motivation to do
it ourselves, but it becomeshabitual after enough repetition
.
Sometimes at the beginning,though, we just need a little
extra support, someone watchingus, until we get that internal
motivation.
After that we're a way to theraces, because now I'm the kind
of person that does exercise, orgets my proposals done on time

(51:22):
or gets my taxes done on time.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
No, I love it.
The time that I joined I'd beenputting off.
I was trying a new CRM and Ineeded to input a bunch of data
from my Excel sheet like intothe program so I could start
using it, and I just put it off.
So I used that hour to get likea whole bunch of people entered
.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
That's exactly how Carolyn spent the hour earlier
today.
She inputted all the data intoher CRM and she'd been waiting
weeks to do that's so funny, See.
It's a great thing for that.
So, yes, even if you aresomeone that's like fiercely
independent, I can do deep workon my own.
There's the chipping away atsomething you've been
procrastinating on.
But another huge challenge thata lot of independent

(52:04):
solopreneurs face is a lack ofcommunity.
So now we're also creatingcommunity.
Same group of people, ourco-working buddies, right, that
we're going to see every week onthis call, and even my team
member, Emily.
You know I invited her to joinbecause she doesn't have a
community, right, she doesn'thave co-workers or whatever the
case is.
So I said come to this call.

(52:25):
And it's been great, becauseshe loves being a part of this
group of people who are doingthings and it helps kind of give
that structure to your day aswell having that appointment to
show up for.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
So I think there's a lot of benefits to it.
Well, I think you knowloneliness is a big problem for
solopreneurs, totally.
You know we spend a lot of timeyou know most of us, I think in
our homes or residences andhome offices or whatever.
And obviously you can go tocoffee shops and whatnot, but
you're still spending a lot oftime just like by yourself or
not with a group of people.
And if you do come from thatcorporate environment, even if
you didn't like the corporateenvironment, there is the social

(53:00):
aspect and you usually hadfriends and people to talk to
and you talk about your weekendand whatever and you kind of
lose that.
So I think even just having itand I know you guys don't do a
lot of talking on those calls,but just have people that you're
around like you're just feelingother energy besides just an
empty room or whatever.
So I think even that hasbenefits, because you want to

(53:21):
feel a part of something.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm glad you mentioned thecoffee shop scenario because a
lot of people use that.
It is essentially that samefeeling.
I don't do that and that'sbecause I don't like to leave my
house.
I know people who do do it andthey swear by coffee shops as
the only place they can get workdone.
And why is that?
There's a bit of a hum ofactivity going around and they

(53:42):
also see other people on theirlaptops.
The same thing is happening inthat coffee shop.
That's happening on theco-working calls, except maybe
our co-working calls are moreintrovert, friendly, because you
don't need to leave your houseyeah, no, that I mean it's.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
I hadn't thought of it, but that's, that's a, that's
a perfect, I mean it's aperfect.
Uh, comparison and analogy.
I had a goal that I was goingto start leaving the house like
two days a week to go to coffeeshops and work, and I haven't
done it yet and I won't.
I don't even know why.
I had it as a goal because Iknew I wouldn't do it.

Speaker 2 (54:12):
It's like an ill-fitting goal.
It's not for you.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
It sounded good Get out of the house.
But I just, I have all my stuffhere.
I have my two monitors and mylaptop and it's just like
everything.
It's just easier for me.
And if I A if I had to, itwould take me 10 minutes to get

(54:36):
this laptop free, like I have somuch stuff plugged into this
and then I have to come back andreplug everything in.
So that wouldn't do it.
I'd almost have to buy a second, just like cheaper laptop that
would be like my computer.

Speaker 2 (54:40):
Yeah, coffee, coffee shop set up.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Yeah, correct, but yeah, I don't know, it's just,
it's not my thing, no, butpeople like it but it is, but I
do.
My wife tells me my therapisttells me the same thing that
like I need more in-personinteraction with people that I'm
not related to, so like that'snot the easiest problem to solve
.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
It's not.
Yeah, it's true, and you know,on that point, it's like so hard
making friends as adults too,and this is something that
people are talking about a lotmore over the last few years,
you know.
So you're a solopreneur andyou're an adult and all your
friends have gone different ways.
So I think community is huge.
There's a couple of reallygreat coaching communities out

(55:21):
there, like the Changing WorkCollective is one that I'd like
to shout out, as well as theBIPOC Coach Collective, and
there's a lot of these springingup, and oftentimes we have
coaches who are starting theirown school communities where you
can kind of get access at afree level, without having to
make a commitment, and still getthat sense of community, do
some learning and networkingopportunities too.

(55:42):
So, yes, while it's virtual andit's online, it's not the same
as in person.
There are options out there.
You are not alone, and the moreand more you connect with
people in these sorts ofenvironments, you will learn
that we all experience similarchallenges and struggles in our
business, and that makes it alot easier to move through life
and our work having people thatwe can feel like.

(56:02):
They get me and I can relate tothem, and this is a safe space
for me to talk about thischallenge, because they're going
through the same thing too.
It's so important.
I think it's probably a hugefactor of longevity and success
in business, because we have tobuild our communities around us,
right.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
Yeah, 100%.
I just recently met someonelocally on LinkedIn and we
figured out we live pretty closeto each other.
So we're meeting in a couple ofweeks at a coffee place.
So that'll be nice just to talkto somebody that's just
different and just get differentenergy and different experience
.
And I don't know her, so youknow it'll be a lot of like you
know, getting to know type talk,but so that's exciting and

(56:38):
something to look forward to andI need to do.
I need to find more of that, tobe honest.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
Again, just to break up the routine of being online
all day.
I did some in-person networkinglast month.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
And I'll be completely transparent.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
I was apprehensive.
That's just because it's um,I'm out of practice and I'm so
used to networking online andI've actually designed my career
in a way now where I don't haveto leave if I don't want to.
But this person I met with wehad connected on LinkedIn and he
said I hope you don't mind, I'mjust more old school.
Now I'm laughing because at thebeginning of my events career,

(57:12):
I actually produced a networkingevent.
Although I wasn't a fan ofdoing it myself.
It's like well, let me producethis thing so I don't have to be
the one walking around the roomUsed to when I drank.
Go to networking events, get myglass of wine, walk around the
outskirts of the room to make itlook like I was doing something
, but never go up to anyone andstart a conversation.

(57:33):
Okay, so that's how I dealt withit and I always became online
afterwards.
So when he insisted, I thoughtokay, it's one of these things
where I know I really want tomeet this person.
This is how they'd like to meet.
It's good for me to go outsideof my comfort zone.
Of course, I was kind ofnervous and plus, like do I have
going out of my house clothes?

(57:54):
It's a whole other thing.
Right Now I work from home, butI got there and right away we
hit it off.
Like hit it off Like this issomeone I could see myself being
friends with, Do you know whatI mean, and it's so funny and it
was like I didn't want theconversation to end, you know,
and it was a really, reallygreat experience and I went home
feeling like my cup had beenfilled and had been recharged

(58:17):
and, like to your point, it's,that is the difference with
being with someone in person youreally do get that full on
energy exchange and get a senseof what that person's all about.
So, yeah, afterwards it can bevirtual, because now we've met
face to face, right yeah?

Speaker 1 (58:31):
No, I love that.
I'm glad that that worked outand, like you said, it is
difficult as an adult.
My therapist at one point thiswas a while ago, but she
recommended using Bumble and Iwas like, is that a dating site?

Speaker 2 (58:40):
I've done it.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
And she was like no, you can do it Like you can do it
for friends.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
And I was like really , yes, anyway, but I thought

(59:15):
that was like an interestingthing because it just, you know,
it's just not easy.
Like you, you have all thesethings that you're doing with
friendship baskets, and so it'slike if you only have a partner
and you just expect your partnerto fulfill all of your
emotional needs, like that'sjust not reasonable.
We need to have more people inour orbit but the same thing can
happen if you only have ahandful of friends you're always
leaning on that one friend forsupport.
That's just not fair and it'snot healthy, right?
And so I got to the point whereI was like I think I need to do

(59:36):
something about this and how amI going to meet people?
So I kind of sat on it for acouple months, but then I did
sign up for Bumble BFF and it'sjust like dating all over again,
like it's the same kind ofprocess.
You're swiping and readingprofiles and figuring out am I
willing to travel halfway acrossthe city to meet this person?
And there were a few duds, justlike there are when you're
dating.
But I got two new friends outof it and I got a lot of

(01:00:00):
learnings out of it.
I'll say that you cannot reallyconsider yourself.
I think it takes 200 hours oftime spent with a person before
you really can become friends.
So what I quickly discovered wasthat, in order to get these
friendships off to the rightstart, I couldn't meet them with
the same frequency that I wasmeeting my established friends,

(01:00:20):
so it couldn't be like every twoto three months.
It needed to be more frequentat the outset.
So, look, this does take sometime and effort and you need to
be committed to it for the longhaul.
You can't do a few swipes, havea few bad friend dates and then
give up.
It takes the same level ofeffort and work, but it is
worthwhile.
You know to expand your network.
And then you know what is sofunny.

(01:00:40):
A friend I met on Bumble, bffMichelle, said hey, I know a
coach.
He's kind of a newer coach.
You know, would you beinterested in like having lunch
with him and his wife?
And I said, okay, cool.
So we go to lunch and I meetMatthew and his wife and we're
talking back and forth and thensomething comes up and Matthew
says he's considering joiningthis community.

(01:01:03):
And then I'm like, however itcame up, he had been talking
with Rob Gilbert about joiningthis community and I was like,
well, he had been consideringand I said, oh my, my god, this
is so crazy, like I support Roband da da da, and was able to
start talking about him, aboutthe community, and so then he
joined and Matthew was actuallyone of the founding members of

(01:01:23):
my co-working club oh, wow yeah.
So this whole thing came about,um, as a result of me taking
this chance and meeting newpeople.
And then it's like Toronto,small world, small world,
everyone knows everyone, gofigure.
So that's kind of been a neatexperience and I think it's
worthwhile definitely worthwhileto do that.
But just know that everyone hasdifferent expectations around

(01:01:44):
what they're looking for interms of how often you're
meeting up and you have to beflexible with people, because
people have family obligationsand jobs and things like that.
But it's definitely worthwhile,especially in this day and age
where there's people like me whoare just at home all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
Right, there was.
I'm reading the book called theComfort Crisis.
Have you ever heard of?

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
that one.
I've heard of it, I haven'tread it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
Michael Easter, I believe, is the author.
I'm only about 70 pages into it.
It's really good so far.
I'm really enjoying it.
But he was talking about that.
With technology now there's athing, it has a name People not
only don't leave their house,they don't leave their bedroom,
they literally stay in theirbedroom 24-7, 365, because you
can have everything delivered,you don't have to actually leave

(01:02:27):
.
And now obviously that's aproblem, and so we're trying to
work through it.
But I do like to be at home,but I also, at some point I have
to get out of the house.
I have to just go, even if it'sjust to run errands like
grocery store or Target orwhatever, just to get out of
here.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
But yeah, I guess it's a real thing, a real issue.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
It is and there's a lack of third spaces as well.
So like there used to be, likewhen we were growing up, like
there'd be like more communitycenters and roller rinks and
just places you can go and bewith people, but like there's
not as much access to librariesanymore and these sorts of areas
.
So like that is alsocompounding the problem, I think
.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
Yeah, when I was growing up as a kid malls were
not a big thing Mall.

Speaker 2 (01:03:05):
Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
Yeah, We'd go hang out at the mall but they're kind
of dying now at the mall.
But they're kind of dying nowLike a lot of the malls have
closed or they're outdoor mallsnow but like the old school,
like indoor mall with all thestores is just it's not really a
thing, but that's a good point.
Yeah, the kind of communalsocial gathering places are.
They've just changed so much.
Well, this conversation hasbeen fascinating.
Thank you so much for your time.

(01:03:27):
Sorry for the tech glitches.
We'll get that.
We'll get that stitched up.
Any final thoughts?

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
parting words and then how people can reach out
and find you on LinkedIn andwhatnot.
Parting words, that's a greatquestion.
I will say this If you arelooking to make any sort of
change in your life, the way youoperate in your life or your
business, focus on your mindset.
Focus on thinking aboutbecoming the kind of person you
want to be, because it allstarts in our mindset.
We can put on the gym clothesand do all that, but yeah, so
focus on making the mindsetshifts.
Where you can find me is on mywebsite at vibehighherecom, or

(01:04:04):
on LinkedIn, mariah Bakas, oryou can find me on IG.
On IG, we are there asvibehighhere as well.
What was your other question?
Did?

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
I get it all.
I think that was it.
That was all.
Yeah, I think you got it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
So, yeah, no, I love your energy and your intellect
and just your overall vibe.
I really enjoy meeting with you.
I enjoy talking with you.
So thank you so much for comingon and sharing all of your
background and insight on theshow today.
I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:27):
Thanks for inviting me.