EP 35: The Mindset Shift: How Beliefs Shape Our Potential with Tarik Ali

Join Tarik Ali and me for a conversation on:

1️⃣ Mindset Shaping Success – Success isn’t just about talent, it’s about self-perception, resilience, and overcoming internal barriers.

2️⃣ The Power of Rest & Reflection – Stepping back from constant hustle is essential for growth, clarity, and emotional well-being.

3️⃣ Shifting Beliefs to Unlock Potential – Our beliefs shape our reality, and challenging them can open new career and personal growth opportunities.

4️⃣ Navigating Mental Health in Leadership – The post-pandemic shift has made vulnerability and mental well-being more crucial than ever for leaders.

Tarik's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alitarik/

Tarik's Website: https://www.tarikali.com/

David's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-young-mba-indy/

David's Website: https://davidjyoung.me/

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Real you Podcast.
This is episode number 35.
I'm David Young, your host.
I'm a LinkedIn content andbusiness coach.
I work with coaches with lessthan 3,000 followers to sign
more clients, using content andLinkedIn strategically.
I launched this podcast almosta year ago March of 2024, to
spotlight interesting peopledoing amazing things, and today
I'm joined by Tarek Ali, anexecutive coach for founders and

(00:21):
senior leaders who are lookingto finally overcome the
pressures, limits and fears,keeping them from a calm,
confident and resilient mind.
He's also an avid golfer and wecould probably spend the whole
time just talking about that,but we won't bore you to death
with the golf.
Maybe we'll do a second episodewhere we talk nothing but golf,
but in this episode we willdive into his journey, his
current relationship withLinkedIn and what he sees in so
many of the leaders that he getsto coach.

(00:42):
So, tarek, thanks for coming on.
Man so good to be here.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Can you trace back how we met?

Speaker 1 (00:49):
So I think we met through Edea Cookley right.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
I threw Edea so a year ago, when I had no idea
what I was doing on LinkedIn andI just show up and scroll and
hope that something goodhappened, I kept seeing comments
from this guy named David.
I'm like, oh, this guy soundssuper interesting.
I remember feeling so nervouswhen I first reached out to you
because I was like, oh, thisguy's an influencer.
I'm going to ping David and doyou think he'll accept my

(01:14):
connection request.
And you were, of course, sonice and gracious.
So the fact that we're sittinghere after even working together
for a few months and a lot canhappen in a year so I'm pumped
to be here and we will do thegolf podcast as well.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah, that sounds good.
We might just.
We'll just start.
We'll start a golf podcastmaybe.
But no, I appreciate you sayingthat I'm not I haven't made it
to influencer status yet butyeah, I do comment quite a bit.
So I have seen I've had peoplesay like I see you a lot, you're
all over the place.
I feel like it was like August,september, something like that.

(01:46):
So, yeah, six or so months,yeah, so I love your story.
I wish I had your I don't knowmaturity and emotional
resilience at your age.
I did not have that when I wasyour age, so you're way ahead of
the game.
But yeah, no, I appreciategoing on.
So, yeah, we'll talk golf later.
Yeah, I started playing golfwhen I was 13.

(02:07):
I played a lot up until aboutprobably 23, 24.
And then after that it becameless and less.
But yeah, I love golf and Icould talk a lot about it, but
we won't start with that.
Yeah, so talk a little bitabout what you do and then we'll
kind of go from there.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, I am an executive coach to founders and
senior leaders.
I feel like we hear this termexecutive coach a lot and it's
becoming kind of a buzzword andthere's a billion of them on
LinkedIn, every corner you turn.
But you know, I've always beenso fascinated by internal growth
, Like ever since I was inuniversity.
I really very self-aware andvery introspective and when you

(02:49):
think about coaching and youthink about just it's helping
people remove the inner barriersthat are keeping them from
being their best selves and Ialways try to minimize the
jargon I use when I explain it.
And sometimes I feel like untilyou've been through a coaching
session it's hard to reallyexplain it.
But I have always been amazed atyou know, it doesn't matter if
you are a student or a CEO oranything in between.

(03:13):
We are all human and yes, thesefounders and leaders have to
put on a certain face and alwaysbe okay.
But you just be amazed at thepressures and fears and limiting
beliefs that they're feeling.
If I took what they felt and Itook what students felt and
everything in between the Venndiagram and the overlap is
unreal.
So I help people one-on-onework through that and it fires

(03:36):
me up and if you're not careful,I'll keep talking for an hour
without letting you jump in,about this.
I'm addicted to it, I love itand, yeah, I'm going to stop
because otherwise we're going totake over the whole show.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
No, I love that.
I mean I think it shows in howyou come across, like just in
talking to you, and your content, like I said, there's a level
of emotional maturity that Idon't think is common for people
your age.
So it makes sense that, like,inner growth and personal
development is something thatyou took to like at a pretty
young age.
Inner growth and personaldevelopment is something that
you took to like at a prettyyoung age, right?

(04:11):
So I think that shows what doyou think is the biggest barrier
or the biggest area of growthfor the people?

Speaker 2 (04:14):
that you come across.
I don't think I've ever put itthis way.
I think it's.
You know, there's a bunch ofposts I've written about
individual things and, as I'msitting here and we're in camera
, I would summarize it as howpeople see themselves.
I think it's how people seethemselves and we are so quick
to put ceilings on ourcapabilities or have a fixed
mindset where we feel like, hey,david, like I've done this in

(04:35):
my career, I've built up theseskills, I've learned these 15
things.
Therefore, this is my cap.
This is my cap as a person inthe world.
Therefore, I'm not going toexceed this cap and I think if
we're not careful to questionthe BS nature, I try not to
swear on your podcast the BS,you can say whatever you want
the BS in these assumptions.

(04:56):
If we're not careful enough toquestion that and get past that,
we just stay stuck under thisartificial ceiling, and so that
ceiling could be quite low, itcould be quite high.
You know like different peoplehave different perspectives on
that, but we get in our own wayand I think it's such a common
thread I'm seeing right now frompeople across different,
different walks of life.
It's unreal.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
No, I love that a day and I actually have talked
about this.
I wish I had she had like asaying about it that I don't
remember, but I wish I did.
But the way we talked about itwas, it's similar to how you.
What you're talking about is Iwish, we wish that we could see
ourselves as others see us,right, like I think we were
talking about like photos, likeI don't know about you, but like

(05:37):
I rarely like photos of myself,like I don't.
I look at a photo and I'm likeyou start, you start looking at
all the negatives, this and that, right.
But then someone else was like,oh, it looks great.
Like it looked great in thatphoto.
And you're like, oh, really,like I look terrible, right, and
I think a lot of people sufferthat like.
And others like hearing your ownvoice.
Like a lot of people don'tlisten to, like, listen to the
podcast bags.
Like, oh, my voice doesn'tsound good or whatever.
And I think we were just forfive minutes.

(06:01):
You could just like stepoutside yourself and like, look
at a picture as someone whodoesn't really know you looks at
it, or hear your voice the wayI showed you Like well, how cool
would that be Right.
But we have we're so critical,we have this inner critic that's
like oh, it's like all the timetrying to tear us down and it's
like, but we're trying to grow,but then it's like this voice

(06:22):
that's like I don't really wantyou to.
It's a very strange dynamic.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
It is and it's such a universally shared experience.
Like you're telling me this,I'm nodding.
Yes, I felt that right.
And the more I do this, themore folks I meet and that I'm
fortunate enough to help, themore I'm like, oh, this is just
happening to 95 plus percent ofpeople and if it's not happening
to someone right now, it'seither happened in the past,
like we all have these periodsand moments in our life where

(06:46):
it's like I are coming upagainst that ceiling again, or
we're coming up against thatnarrative that's keeping us from
going after that next promotionor investing in in the business
we want to build, or feelinglike we're not good enough, like
it's happening everywhere and II'm not the biggest, so I'm not
really on Instagram, I'm not abig Facebook person X, don't
even get me started on X rightnow.
But LinkedIn I love this placeand the thing is, and we can

(07:10):
talk about why I love itcompared to before.
But this conversation we'rehaving about these limiting
beliefs and these pressures, Ithink a few years ago in society
it would be looked at as kindof a weak or soft conversation.
Like, hey, just get over it.
You know, if you're good enough, you're going to make it, If
not like sink or swim, and Ithink there's been a bit of a
realization like God, everyone'skind of feeling this Like let's

(07:33):
just talk about it, and I thinkif I were to summarize my like
intent on LinkedIn in onesentence, I'm trying to talk
about the stuff that peopledon't like talking about.

Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yeah, I think post COVID has really helped that.
I think, like therapy, likepeople seeing therapists became
much more open.
Like a lot of people I mean,I've been seeing a therapist off
and on for over a decade andnow I can talk about it and I
don't think anybody even bats aneye, like they're just like
okay, but like seven or eightyears ago you talk about it and
then it's kind of what you'retalking about Like oh, it's kind
of weak or you need help orwhatever.

(08:01):
So I but.
But covid really changed thatbecause people were forced, they
just absolutely were.
They were physically forced tolive with themselves in a way
they never had and never wantedto.
And I think it just it openedup, like just all these things,
that that people were like Idon't.
I now I need help, like I don'tthis isn't that great.
So I do think yeah yeah, I agreebecause I think it was needed.

(08:23):
I think a lot of people neededthe help and then covid forced
them to.
You know, start taking steps.
Yeah, I mean linkedin.
I again, I'm like you.
I don't have other social media.
I don't have instagram.
I mean I have a facebookaccount.
I haven't logged in in fiveyears, so maybe I don't have an
account.
I do have a twitter account oran x account.
I'm rarely ever on there.
It's mostly sports people thatthat I follow.

(08:43):
So it's a very, very smallpercentage.
But LinkedIn is totallydifferent and I'm on it all the
time and I've used it to grow mybusiness and all this.
All these things have happenedbecause I really tapped into the
platform.
But I find it, compared to whatI hear about with the other
platforms, is the level ofsupport on LinkedIn is so
different?
Right, like.
Yeah, there's still trolls andstill negative comments, but not

(09:03):
nearly to the level of like,say, a Facebook and you can talk
about personal struggles,coaching, therapy, whatever, and
for the most part, in myexperience, people are like
pretty cool with it.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
I'm curious your perspective on how recent that
is, because up until eight, ninemonths ago, I was logging into
LinkedIn once a month to justlike, almost on accident, like
my finger would slip, I'd hitthe golf app and it'd slip and
go to LinkedIn.
I have no interest being thereand all I'd see is just the
hubris.
Hey, excited to announce I gotpromoted.
Excited to announce I'm leavingthis company.

(09:36):
Excited to announce, hey, gpa,you know 4.0.
And I was like what is happeninghere?
And I don't know when the shifthappened, but and maybe it's
just who I'm associating with onthe platform.
But there is this group ofauthentic, genuine, open people
who are talking about everythingthat you're calling out here
and I can't help but wonder doesit have something to do with

(09:57):
the fact that you have to signin with your real name?
We can see your employer, andso you have to?
There's some decorum, right,that has to be maintained on the
platform, and maybe that meanspeople are faking it a bit, but
to me at least, it keeps it frombecoming the wild west of X and
I can be okay with that.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah, it's 100% part of it.
I mean, obviously you cancreate fake accounts and mask a
lot of that stuff, but I don'tthink people are taking the time
to do that.
So it definitely is more realpeople that obviously are some
bots, but for the most part not.
And so, yes, like if you'regoing to say negative things,
you're gonna be critical ofpeople, you're gonna try to
bring them down.
Like people can screenshot thatand then share that in a post
and then like that's you andthat reflects poorly on you and

(10:34):
your employer.
So that's 100%.
That's funny.
You mentioned that about yourfeed.
I used to be the same way.
I would go.
I would probably go severalmonths, up to several months
without logging in to LinkedIn,and I've only had the account
for about seven years and it wasmostly because my feed was the
same way.
Like the only thing I saw werepromotions either internal
promotions or they got a new jobright, and then most of the

(10:57):
time, I was not happy in my workand so I would just see all
these like I'm leaving for thisbetter opportunity and I'd be
like fuck off, I don't want tosee that, this better
opportunity, and I'd be likefuck off, I don't want to see
that and so I wouldn't log in.
But, to your point, the way thealgorithm works is if you start
engaging on the platform, itwill show you who you're
engaging with.
So if you move to whether it'sinfluencers or just creatives
that you like and no matter whatthey're talking about, then

(11:17):
that's what you're going to seemore of.
So your job updates and yourpromotion updates will quickly
go away if you're spending timewith people who aren't talking
about that, and then that willobviously continue.
So you can control and curateyour own feed if you want to,
depending on how you spend yourtime.
But yeah, I'm seeing more.
I mean, I've been on theplatform pretty consistently for

(11:38):
about a little over a year anda half.
I see a pretty wide variety ofcontent.
I would say some of it's good.
I'd say a lot of.
But that's probably the sameway in life.
Like if you looked at likesales reps right, like you have
great sales reps, you haveterrible sales reps.
Most of them are somewhere inbetween.
That's kind of how I seecontent.
But the variety of topics thatI see and maybe it's just the

(11:59):
people that I follow and engagewith is pretty.
I think it's pretty varied.
I mean there's a lot about whatyou're talking about, like the
executive coaching in general, alot of burnout, a lot of
leadership, health and wellness.
But there are people talkingabout like personal struggles,
whether it's kids or career oryou know whatever.
But it seems to be a placewhere people for the most part

(12:22):
come across, can come acrosslike pretty authentically and
share part of their story.
That might not be supercomfortable.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, it's, it's uh.
To me it's a beautiful thingand the platform is what you
make it, I think, for me.
I I try to do my best to try tofigure out, you know, what's
authentic from what I'm seeingand what feels like it's cause.
Now there's this whole thing oflike, oh hey, if you can be
vulnerable, it's going to getyou more, more engagements, and
I think, in the ever since welast spoke, I think for me there

(12:52):
is now one.
There's one thing I'm thinkingabout before I hit post, and
it's no longer hey, whatreactions will this get?
Or what the comments might be,or what time is it, or, you know
, did I put the comma in theright place?
Could this help one person?
I'm like, if I write this,could it help even one person?

(13:14):
And if so, I'm going to send itand there's a chance it's going
to do really well.
There's a chance it's going tonot do well, but, man, if I can
get one person to see this andtheir day gets 1% better and
this message is in line with mycore values, I can go to bed at
night.
I actually think, david, that'ssomething that's helped me go

(13:37):
from being frankly terrified topost on LinkedIn eight, nine
months ago to posting once aweek, and God, it would take me
like four or five hours to writeone post.
Back then I would overthink itso much.
To now, like three times a week, I'm just going up there and
saying, okay, can I stand bythis?
Is it aligned to my values andis there a chance that this
could help one person?
And if it hits that, I'm likego and I don't really look back.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
No, I love that.
I think that does come fromconfidence and posting, and the
more you like anything else, themore you do it, the more
comfortable you become.
But I feel you.
It used to take me a long timeto write content because I would
overthink it and then you startto realize one post doesn't
really matter that much, so Ishould just put it out and then
I'm going to post again in acouple of days.
I mean it starts to build.
I like the idea of the.

(14:15):
Can it help one person?
I think another thing peoplecan ask themselves before they
post this, or it would benefitthem to think this is like
what's the point of the post?
I read posts sometimes and I'mlike what am I supposed to do
with this?
Like it's information, butwhat's the point?
Like you didn't bring it homeor you didn't tie it to anything
, or it's just like out there.
So I think people coulddefinitely benefit from that
same line of thinking.
Can I help someone?

(14:36):
Can someone take action fromthis?
Can someone learn this?
Is this entertaining?
Is it interesting?
There's a little bit more to it.
And obviously AI plays a bigrole, because I think a lot of
people are just using AI andcopy and pasting and you know.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Yeah, I'm starting to try to get a radar for that.
I'm trying to.
I'm trying to get a radar for.
Does this feel ai related?
One of my favorite trends rightnow is when people make posts
about how you can tellsomething's written by ai and
some of the stuff is wild, likeif you see an m dash or if you
see certain words and I I thinkthat's hilarious, yeah, but uh,
yeah the m dash has gotten a badrap because that's like the,

(15:10):
that's like the telltale sign.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
But then some people are like I've been using M-Dash
just for 10 years.
The AI didn't even exist then.
How?

Speaker 2 (15:15):
do you make an M-Dash ?
I don't even have that buttonon my keyboard.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Yeah, it's supposed to be like control alt dash or
control shift dash, but it neverworks.
I've tried it, I can't createit.
I can't create it organically.
So I looked at that wrong or mykeyboard doesn't work.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Way to sort that one out.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
So, getting back to the big struggle, like the way
we see ourselves, inner struggle, limiting beliefs how do you
begin?
You're working with someone.
How do you begin to start tobreak that down and shift that?

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Well, it doesn't happen overnight, that's for
sure, right, and it only worksif there's an openness to even
exploring it.
So coaching can't be forced,because you know I can't.
I can't force you, david, tolook at the thing that you think
might be capping your ceilingin your mind.
So we got to start there.
The first piece is just beingaware that there might just be
something like the ceiling thatyou're articulating right Of.

(16:06):
Like you know, I'm going tomake this up, tarek, I can only
hit a certain number offollowers, or, hey, I've only
been on LinkedIn for so long, ormy writing is only so good, or
I've only been working forhowever many years.
Therefore, I'm never going toget to this level.
Whatever that is, we have tostart by just acknowledging that
.
Is there a chance that thatmight not be true?
Is there a chance that we canget some awareness on this being
something that our brains havemade up?

(16:28):
That awareness oftentimes isenough for people to do what we
talked about earlier, where it'slike take that, step outside
the picture frame and seeyourself as someone else might
see, right.
A lot of this is about bringingobjectivity to these narratives
in our mind that we think arefacts, but they're really.
They're based on emotions andour experiences and how we think
about ourselves.
Once you get that awareness,we're trying to find the root.

(16:49):
And I'm not talking about, like, the therapeutic root, right,
like in therapy, it would beabout, hey, like, where did this
come from in the past?
Like, what led to this momentwhere you're feeling this
ceiling?
Let's get clarity by lookingbackwards.
That's like the therapyapproach I'm trying to
understand.
Like, what is the core, root,limiting belief here?

(17:09):
Is it that you feel like you'renot good enough?
Is it that you feel like youare an imposter?
Is it that you feel like you'renot good under pressure?
Or that you don't have theskill or the talent?
Or because you've been inindustry X, you can only stay in
industry X.
Or because you've only made amillion ARR in your startup,
you're not going to be able tomake it to 10 million because
John got to 10 million and hegot better grades in school.

(17:30):
So I can't like, whatever thatis like.
I want to get super clear onthat and oftentimes, david, once
we get there, it's a matter ofiteration and understanding.
Hey, like, let's poke holes inthis.
What's actually true about thatbelief?
Like, let's take a step outsidethis.
You know this track that yourbrain is used to going down.
Now let's look at this from adifferent perspective, and I

(17:57):
think the cool thing aboutcoaching is it feels really
weird when you do it for thefirst time.
A lot of folks don't have thisspace in their life where they
could sit and talk for 85% ofthe time without any fear of
judgment.
Right, and you can do that intherapy, but there's
traditionally a more empowering,future-focused vibe in a
coaching session, where we'renot really assuming that there's
anything wrong with you that weneed to fix.

(18:17):
We just got to find the root ofwhat's capping you and start
chipping away at it, right, soto me, I mean, I told a guy on
on Friday he actually you know,he decided not to renew coaching
with me and I'm smiling when Isay this because I just wrote
about this today decided not torenew because after six months
he's like I haven't felt thisgood in years.

(18:37):
And, quite frankly, I don't needyou anymore and he's like I
feel bad, I'm dude, you feelgreat.
This is the best scenario.
I can't wipe the smile off myface Like this is what it's all
about, right?
So for me, I told this person.
I said I wish I could haverecorded.
I wish I could have recordedour first session and you could

(18:59):
see right now the look in youreye and how your shoulders are
sitting and the tenseness inyour voice and the uncertainty
on your face.
And I wish you could see thatfor a sec, because I've seen it
incrementally, week over a week,when we sit down, and it made
my week.
So that's the process we takeand, like I said, if you don't
catch me, I'm going to keepgoing, so I'll stop.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yeah, no, I appreciate that, not to bring a
day up again.
If she listens to this, she'sgoing to be like God.
You guys talked about me a lot,but because you guys know each
other and-.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
This is sponsored by Edea, yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
It is.
I'm trying to get her to comeon she's she's stuck, she's
ducking me so far.
She's a coach too, so she'salso pertinent.
One of the things she has saidto me and talking about what you
said in terms of like you know,whether it's growing your
business, or you know, followercount or whatever, that cap that
you're putting yourself, thecap that you're putting on
yourself, one of the things Iknow she has said to me is like,
is that belief, belief servingyou?
So, like, if someone is like,oh well, john got to 10 million

(19:55):
ARR faster than I did, it's like, well, that might be true, but
like, does that belief serve you?
And I think, if you start askingthat question, it's like well,
not really and not in a good way, right, and I think that's what
you're talking about, with likepoking holes, like in the like
you can think whatever you want,but it's not.
Most of it's not true.
Most of it's you're just lyingto yourself, right?

(20:17):
So I think it's finding ways tostart to tear that down to
where you're like all right, Ithink that, but it's really not
true.
There's nothing really keepingme from getting to 10 million
arr, right, like I've alreadymade a million.
Most people will never do that.
So then what steps can I takeand how can I start to move past
it?
I think it's those.
It's not like you said, it'snot going to happen overnight,

(20:37):
so you're not just going to likeflip a switch, but you start to
, you start to poke holes in thetheory or the thought and then
you start to take, you start tohit those, those holes, and
start to plug those.
And then you know you start toshort things up over time.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, it's interesting because there's
something about that questionthat I actually avoid asking
sometimes around, like, is thatbelief serving you?
And I think it depends on whoyou're working with, because
I've had some founders basicallysay, tarek, like if there's
truth here that I'm notcurrently set up to hit 10
million a year, then we got tofind what that truth is and then

(21:10):
I need to build a plan to getbetter whether it's myself as a
leader, or how the company isstructured or our product market
fit and we got to be able toset up for that 10 million.
And so sometimes I actuallyavoid asking that question of is
that belief serving you?
Because it can evoke thisreaction of, well, yeah, maybe
it's not serving me, but maybethat's the truth I need to face
right now.
So it's interesting like whento bring that one in.

(21:30):
I think it's a great question,depending on the situation, and
that's a great example of howyou know this isn't just about,
hey, if you're feeling low oryou're feeling not confident,
let's sit down and talk andlet's say whatever we need to
say for you to feel better, orlet's say whatever we need to
say for you to get over it.
It's not about that right.
There's genuinely going to becircumstances and I've seen this

(21:52):
in the past couple months whereit's like, no, we actually
found something, there's a roothere.
There's something about thiscompany that is not set up
properly.
But for them, getting thatclarity on, we took this super
ambiguous feeling of Tariq I'mnot feeling like we can hit that
next level and we found theroot and it was an intangible
thing in their leadership andsome dynamic, and we found that
route and now we can attack itand there's a customized plan

(22:14):
and if I was allowed to tell youthe name of the company, you'd
look at them now and say, oh,wow, like that's great.
So that belief serving you oneis an interest.
I just wanted to jump on thatone because I think that's an
interesting one, because theremight be a perception sometimes
at coaching and therapy justbringing the truth, even if
that's a truth that sometimesthey don't want to hear
themselves say.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, that's a great point and you kind of got
started with this.
If I remember correctly, didn'tyou see a coaching session at
one of your?
Good memory yeah you sawsomeone and then it lit
something inside of you.
Talk about that.
That's an interesting backstory.
My origin story of why.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
I light up so much about this.
Two things happened.
So the first thing thathappened was, even before that
this is like five, six years agoI was strongly considering
getting an MBA or moving to adifferent company and so I
applied.
I got a couple interviews andthen, final round, I didn't get
the job and I was pretty down onmyself.
I was pretty upset.
So that week I met with threedifferent people.
The first two were mentors.
The third person I thought waslike a mentor, but he ended up

(23:18):
being a coach.
I didn't know he was a coach.
First two conversations we sitdown for 30 minutes on Zoom.
I say, hey, this is whathappened and here's how I'm
feeling.
And they like jumped in andit's 27 minutes of Tariq yeah,
that jumped in.
And it's 27 minutes of Tariqyeah, that happened to me five,
10 years ago.
Here's what I think you shoulddo.
Have you tried this?

(23:38):
Have you tried that?
Hey, let me tell you my story.
And time runs out and I'mfeeling like, okay, great, I've
got some notes to take.
Third guy I almost wanted tocancel with him because I was
like I've seen this movie twicealready.
I've been in these calls roombeing told what to do and in
that 45 minutes he talked forprobably six minutes out of 45
minutes.
I got to talk.
I got to uncover, like what wasit specifically that was
bothering me?
And it actually had nothing todo with the company.

(23:58):
It had nothing to do withactually wanting to leave.
There was something about myday-to-day and the role I was in
that it wasn't making me happy.
And I got more out of that 45minutes than I had in any of the
mentoring sessions, any of thelate night Googling that week,
any of the talking to my partner.
Like that 45 minutes did it forme.
So that was experience numberone.
A couple of years later, byfluke at Accenture I was able to

(24:21):
sit in on a coaching sessionbetween one of our leaders and
this exec coach.
It was during COVID, so therewas 40 of us on Zoom off camera
and on mute and on mute and inagain 45 minutes.
Like this lady's, able to getthis leader to just open up in
front of others about how shefeels about herself, her
leadership, where her concernsare about the company and what
she thinks she needs to changeabout herself as a leader to

(24:44):
improve her team.
And I'm like what did this ladyjust do this is like magic.
What is happening here?
I've never seen this before, sothose two experiences really
planted a seed in my brain and Idon't know.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
I think it's just a really good fit for me, how I'm
wired and what I enjoy in lifeto help people in this way.
Yeah, no, I love that.
I mean the best coaches right,are the question askers and
they're the reflection.
They're the mirror, right,they're the reflection back to
you because for the most part,we have the answers inside of us
.
Whether we want to admit thator not.
It's a different story, butit's probably in there somewhere
and the right coach ortherapist or whatever, like they

(25:24):
kind of help you unlock thatright, Like they get you.
If you can say it yourself,you'll believe it a lot more
than just like the people on thecall that are just telling you
oh well, this is what I did orthis is what you should do, it's
all fine, it might, it might besome good advice and you might
do it and it might help.
But that's somebody else'sopinion, those are other
people's thoughts.
It'll never carry the sameweight, whereas if you come up
with it like on your own, you'relike, yeah, like that makes,

(25:47):
yeah, that makes sense totally.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
If you had told me that, even a couple of years ago
, I think I would have said,david, like how, how does this
work?
Like what do you mean?
It's inside us.
And in the past year, like I'veI've had my own coach.
Like I, I have things I'mworking on right, things that
have held me back, things thathave have kept me from feeling
comfortable, whether it's aboutposting on LinkedIn or coaching

(26:10):
founders that are older than meor have more money than I do.
Like, yeah, those are thingsthat I had to work through with
my coach so that I could be abetter coach for the people I
worked with.
And now I now I really get itright.
And for the past couple ofyears when I've been the
recipient of it, I'm like, no,no, like this.
There was no article, there wasno chat, gpt prompt, there was
no book that was going to dothat.

(26:31):
You combine it all together,but nothing was going to
actually help me get inside myown brain and figure out there
is so much BS in the story thathad kept me from leveling up a
couple years ago.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
I love that.
That reminds me of I waswalking the dog a couple years
ago, a neighbor who I see walkhis dog and I've gotten to know
him a little bit.
Super nice guy, he's always ina good mood, and one day I came
across him and he was prettydown, especially for how he
normally is, and so in talkingto him he was in sales and he
had lost, recently lost.
He'd put a bid in and workedpretty hard on this presentation

(27:06):
, and then he ended up going toa competitor that he didn't care
for, and so he was really upsetabout it.
And so I just I just startedasking him questions.
I was like, well, like you knowwhat?
What was the proposal?
And like like, what did theclient say?
And all this stuff.
And so it turned out and againthis was just me asking him like
five questions it turned outthat that competitor had just
completely low balled the bid,like they just did it to get the

(27:26):
job right.
They were taking a loss, and soat one point I asked him I was
like, all right.
I was like, so could you havematched their price?
And he was like, oh no, like wenever would have matched their
price.
And I was like well, then youwere never going to get the job,
like there's nothing for you tobe upset about.
And he was like you're right,yeah.
Like yeah, we never would havedone that, okay, yeah.
And then like like instantly,like sure, but he couldn't see

(27:48):
that because he was so he wasonly focused on the fact that
they didn't get it.
And then literally just askinghim a few questions about, like
how long did you put theproposal together?
Like how close were you onprice, like all these things.
And then when he finallyBecause he's like oh, the woman
got back to me, it was like youknow, we went with the lowest
price, which was X, and then itwas just simply being like over,

(28:09):
you literally couldn't have got, you could not have won that
bid.
Like there's no fault, likezero, no, so it's but he
couldn't see it like.
He was like for two days he'dbeen ruminating on it because he
was so upset because he likecouldn't see the forage for the
trees right.
And I think that's the pointwhere you just get people just
through series of questions.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
That's a basic example, but through a series of
questions where you get them tobe like, yeah, like the way the
world is set up right now, noone's got the time to sit and
pause for a sec, like when he'sruminating for two days.
I don't know, I don't know thesituation, but when he's
ruminating for two days, we'resurrounded by these distractions
and he's thinking about it.
He's got work, he's got hisphone, he's got everything.

(28:46):
Like the way we're set up, it'salways on and there's just no
time to sit and actually reflect.
And there's times where, likeyou know, some folks I work with
they come in.
They're like Tariq, this is thefirst hour I've had all week.
It's a Friday at 10 am.
This is the first hour I've hadall week where I feel like I
can actually sit and think andunpack, like what do I need to
do in the next six months forthis company to get to the next

(29:07):
level?
Like we haven't had the time.
And I don't know.
I'm the kind of guy, david,that like if you gave me the
chance to this would be hardbecause I don't think there'd be
LinkedIn on a flip phone.
But if you gave me a chance tolike toss this thing off a cliff
and just go back to my Motorolafrom 06, I would do it.
I would so do it, and we needmore.
We just need more time.

Speaker 1 (29:41):
We need more like human connection.
We need more.
I don't know, I'm not trying topreach here, I just I, I don't
know.
Things are just a bit toofrantic right now.
Everything is, you know, kindof instant access and Netflix
and downloads, and Uber Eats andsame day Amazon deliveries, and
like we have all this stuffright, that we don't have to
wait for anything anymore andit's all.
It's kind of everything.
Pretty much everything you wantyou can pretty much instantly

(30:01):
get without leaving your house.
For the most part, right.
And so I do think we getspoiled where when something
like this, which is like yourmindset and personal development
, like you said, takes a while,and then we want that to happen
like instantly.
We want to download the app, wewant to Google it, we want to
watch a couple of YouTubemotivational videos and be like

(30:23):
all right, problem solved, right.
But it doesn't work that way,and so there is definitely this
kind of.
I read a lot of books at thesame time, so they all run
together, but one of themrecently talked about putting,
if you have to put it in yourcalendar, do it, but literally
taking setting like two or three15 to 30 minute blocks every
day in your schedule to donothing.
They're like you.
Just you turn everything offand like, hear me, I would just
like sit in my office, like justsit and do nothing, or go take

(30:46):
a walk or whatever.
But it's just 15 to 30 minutes,no distractions, no phones, no
screens, just literally to allowyour brain just to like settle
just a little bit.
But for the most part, like Idon't think a lot of us do that
because, like, there's alwayssomething to work on, there's
always something to check,you're always working on a
project or or whatever you havean idea you're trying to flesh

(31:08):
out, and then that, just likeyou said, you can go the whole
week and then it's Fridaymorning and you're like, oh yeah
, I haven't paused in six days.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
And like.
Is that the life we're building?

Speaker 1 (31:20):
Yeah, is that I mean?

Speaker 2 (31:21):
what's going to stop that if we don't stop it
ourselves?
Right?
I mean like there's not goingto be any fewer distractions
next week or the week after.
I think it takes a lot ofdiscipline to do that, but
you're so right, it's soimportant because we just got to
take back some control here,right, of where we're putting
our time and our energy.
And like energy is tangible,right, it might feel like energy
is just like, you know, like inthe ether, but it's tangible.

(31:43):
It has an effect on us and howwe show up for ourselves and our
friends and our family and ourteams, and these small things
add up for sure.
I'm with you.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, you know it's funny.
My therapist has told me for awhile she's like you need more
in-person interaction withpeople you aren't related to,
because you don't get a lot ofthat.
And I think as adults,especially the older, you get,
it's hard, right, you don't?
It's just difficult to carveout that time, like you have a
partner or you have kids orneighbors or whatever.
But she was like you need likeintentional, on purpose, adult

(32:15):
conversation with people youdon't really know could be
friends, could just beacquaintances, could be linkedin
connections doesn't reallymatter, but you need that, like
we need that as humans, asadults, right, and but it's
difficult.
Like it's like well, I was likewhere do I find these people?
Like are they just hanging out?
Is there a place, is there agroup of us?
It's not easy to find as youget older, right, where do you

(32:36):
find them?

Speaker 2 (32:37):
That's why you're going to come to Toronto in June
and we'll play golf.
Yes, that'll be our in-person.

Speaker 1 (32:42):
Yeah, I mean honestly it is.
That's one of the reasons why Ido trips like that, because, a
it just gets me out of my office, out of my house and off
screens, but B I get in person,sometimes one-on-one, sometimes
in a group conversation withpeople that I don't normally get
to see.
That I know a little bit,mostly through this, and it's
different, right, like you said,it's different.

(33:03):
Energy, the energy transfer isdifferent, the conversation is
different and it's just.
It's so energizing, Like when Icame to Toronto last year.
It was only for two and a halfdays.
I met five people.
I was so tired from that.
It was so positively energizingthat I was drained for like
three days, right, because Idon't experience it very often,
so I'm not like in shape to doit.
So now that I'm saying that outloud, I should probably like

(33:25):
work out.
Since that's going to be fivedays I'm going to have to like
yeah, we'll get you on a prepplan for that.
Yeah, yeah, but no, butseriously, like I'm doing that,
I'm going to a conference inDallas in September which is
more organized than just goingto a city and meeting people.
But same principle, right, likeyou're getting out there,
you're meeting people in person,networking, talking ideas, just
not on a screen, and I thinkthat's lost a little bit.

(33:48):
And where do you?
Is that something you talk tothe people?
Because obviously the peopleyou're talking to are suffering
from that.
Is that something you try tobuild into them?
Where, like, if you can, like,try to design these micro breaks
on a regular basis.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yeah, I think it comes up mostly when you have
these founders that are feelingalmost guilty for shutting it
down at night.
So the whole like hustleculture and you have to work 17
and a half hours a day to eversucceed in life is something
that a lot of people actuallylike, really feel, and there was
a time in my life where I feltthat, where I felt that too.

(34:23):
But when we're talking aboutyou know, that excessive self
pressure or feeling guilty forshutting it down, there's often
a conversation we have aroundrest and I'll ask, like, what is
your perspective on rest?
And sometimes rest is like abad word, it's like, oh, rest is
for the weak, rest is for youknow, it's quitting.
And there's often conversationswe're having where it's a

(34:45):
reframe on that word.
And there's a story that I lovefrom the two British Olympic
rowing team and they I think fordecades had never won anything
and they changed one thing intheir prep and they won gold in
2000.
Don't quote me on the year, itmight not have been 2000.
One change they made they saidevery single thing we do in our
prep.
We're going to ask one questionIs this activity going to help

(35:08):
the boat go faster.
So it's our training plan, orit's what we're eating, or it's
the film we're watching or whenwe're resting, like is this
thing going to help the boat gofaster?
And the main takeaway I gotfrom that story like, yes,
obviously, be focused on yourgoal and do your thing.
That's part one, but part twofor me, I was like there are
times when the best thing I cando for myself and my boat to go

(35:30):
faster is to shut it down andnot just like put the stuff away
but be thinking about it forthree hours between eight and 11
, but actually find a way toshut this down, because I'm
going to come back better.
And if you and I sat down three, four years ago, I think I
would have said, but David, forthose three, four hours, there's
someone else out there who'sworking.
There's always there's, that'salways going to be there.

(35:53):
But at the end of the day, like,what I can control is showing
up every day at the bestcapacity that I can, and if
we're not shutting it down andwe're not managing those
boundaries, we're going to burnout.
And I've yo burnout captainright here.
I've burned out six, seventimes over a period of three
years, between like 2018 and2021.

(36:13):
And I finally got like everysingle time kind of making light
of it.
But I finally I finally startedto understand, like that, when
I analyze like the root of eachburnout, everyone was like kind
of each burnout had a differentkind of core route, but a lot of
it had to do with likepressures I had on myself for
how much I was working or howmuch I was getting done.

(36:34):
And and and so has a real toll.
And, yes, there might besomeone that is working from 8
to 11 pm and maybe by you notworking, you might fall behind
by 0.1%, but in the long runit's got to be sustainable, like
the working model you have hasto be sustainable.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
Yeah, I think it's the book's called Peak
Performance.
I read it several years ago,but one of the lines I remember
from that book is stress plusrest equals growth.
Like you can't really grow ifyou're not resting, because
you're either just eithermentally burnt out or you
physically get injured.
Like if you use weight training, for example right, you're not
lifting weights like 24 seven,right, your muscles need time to

(37:14):
absorb the workout, rest andthen grow, and then you do that
over time.
It's the same principle toalmost anything.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
This might sound.
It might sound cliche.
It's an exact example.
But I actually had a momentright there on the couch in
November when I wrote out fortwo, three pages.
I was like if I was trainingfor a marathon, I would not be
running every hour of every dayand it sounds like so obvious,
like I've heard that analogybefore, I've heard someone say
it to me before, but somethingin that moment I was like if I
actually treated this as amarathon, I need great
performance for four or fivehours a day max.

(37:48):
We have to optimize for thepeak right and if I'm burning
myself out outside that it'sjust gonna mess with tomorrow's
prep and something about thatday.
David, I could show you thepage in the journal like
something about that entryreally shifted something in.
I'm kind of my own coach in alot of situations and that was
one of them where I had toreally dig in and figure out,
like yo, what is keeping me frombeing okay with resting and we

(38:10):
figured it out that night.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Yeah, you don't even run every day for marathon prep.
Oh, that's a thing.
Yeah, honestly, you don't.
There's no reason.
I mean there's no reason to.
I mean there's strengthtraining, there's eating,
there's stretching, there's allthese other things you're doing,
but I would say the smallerpercentage of the time is
actually running until you getcloser to the race.
But, yeah, and that applies kindno matter what you're doing,
right, even if I look at mycurrent example of building the

(38:34):
business, right, like I can'twork all the time, I can't be on
LinkedIn all the time, like A,it's not good for me, but B, it
doesn't help, like there's onlyso much time that moves the
needle and then the rest of it'sdiminishing returns.
Right, you're just, you're notdoing anything.
But, like you said, the hustleculture and the working harder
and like all that kind of stuffthat does creep in.
And sometimes I'll feel guilty.
If I go downstairs to just takea break or a power nap or look

(38:58):
at ESPN, I'm like I could, likeI could be sending a few more
DMS or I could be working on myemail sequence, like well, true,
but like that can wait, like Idon't need to do that right now.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
What if ESPN was like the best thing for your
business in that moment?
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Yeah, exactly yeah it's so common.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
It's so common to feel that.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
Yeah.
So, speaking of ESPN, we'll usethat as a good segue into golf.
Segue into golf.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
I tried earlier with the June thing, and then we went
back into more coaching stuff,which is great.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah.
So I am coming to Toronto inJune.
We are going to try to gettogether, uh, and play golf, but
you're, you're a more, you're a, you're better than I am.
I was good a long time agothese days not so much, but
you've played st andrews andyou've been to the masters, so
automatically you're likepedestal is significantly higher
than mine, since I've doneneither of those.
Uh, I have played black wolfrun.
I don't know if that counts yeah, that's huge yeah, but anyway,

(39:52):
my mom's second husband she wasdating him at the time.
He was a golf pro at like, thelocal course where we lived and
so I it took me a long timebecause I played more
traditional sports like soccer,baseball, basketball, and then I
kept playing basketball.
I dropped soccer and baseball.
I was looking for another sport, and then he was around and had
been for a while and so I waslike I don't try golf.
I didn't have the talent forgolf that I had for the other

(40:13):
sports I was okay at it, but Iwas never great.
Um, I played with guys who werequite good.
They played division one.
I just didn't have their.
I was never going to be thatgood like, no matter how much I
practiced like, I just didn'thave the baseline golf talent so
I couldn't play at that level,but at one time I could play
fairly well.
These days I hit some goodshots.
I hit some really bad shots anda lot of the rest of them are
just like could have been bettersounds like you enjoy it, by

(40:35):
the way, but I only play thesedays.
I'm playing like like this lastpast season I played one regular
18 hole round and I played oneouting, so like not much, and
I've been doing that for like 10years.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
So there's just so much rust, you know, on my game
but but I do enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
My kids are getting a little bit older.
One of them seems kind ofinterested, other really doesn't
.
They will play more as they getolder.
The biggest thing for me istime.
It's so time-consuming I don'thave six hours for an 18-hole
round.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
Very often that's such a big barrier to entry for
the game.
I think they're trying to workon stuff with that, but it takes
so long for people to adapt.
Courses can't really adapt likea nine hole.
They can do a nine hole route,but there's this whole like 12
hole movement too.
I don't know.
I mean, david, I haven't had amemory in my life where I wasn't

(41:21):
at that age playing golf LikeI've got.
I put up a picture.
Last week my mom sent me thispicture of me at age two and a
half, like putting at home intothe indents of a rug and we made
those indents because mygrandma would rotate the couch
so you'd end up with a hole inthe rug and I'm putting and my
sisters who's one is likecrawling behind me.

(41:41):
It's just been part of my DNA,my entire life.
And um, to me it's not aboutgetting to the best courses or
it's not about you know, I'm notthe best player.
I mean, I think I can make wayaround, of course, but I'm not
the best player.
But there is something about thesoul of this game.
I don't know if it's about justbeing out in nature or walking

(42:04):
outside or being disconnected,like my phone's in my bag when
I'm playing.
There's something about thatfeeling of okay, I'm going to
stand behind a shot.
I'm looking at a situation, Iam assessing what's in front of
me.
I've got this ideal picture ofwhat I think I am hoping can
happen here and you know, eighttimes out of 10, it's not going
to go that way.
But the one time it I actuallypull it off and I looked at my

(42:26):
friend and I'm like I didn'tknow I could do that.
There is something about thatmoment that I I don't know what
it is, but I love it so much andI actually you know a lot of
people love playing golf whenthey're with their friends.
I love playing when I'm alone.
Me, you put me on a golf course.

(42:46):
My mom used to drop me offafter school and just drop me
off at the golf course and, likeI would go out and play alone
for four or five hours, she'dcome back at 8 pm.
This was down in Florida andthat was my childhood man.
That's.
My dream was being out therealone.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
I love it so much.
No, I love that.
That's part of the reason why Ihaven't played a lot as I've
gotten older is because Ihaven't lived in cities where my
friends are.
I've kind of moved around and Idon't overly love going to a
public course and pairing upwith a group because I always
feel like I'm invading.
They're typically friends right, there's three of them and then
now here I am and now I'm thislike odd person out.

(43:18):
I don't know the inside jokesand you know it's like all that
kind of stuff.
So I typically have shied awayfrom doing it.
I did like playing by myself,like when I started to play,
which I would do sometimes.
But yeah, it's, it's a verymental sport.
It's certainly a lot oftakeaways you can apply to life
because you have the goodplayers right Thinking your way
around a course, thinking yourway around shots, not just doing

(43:39):
it, hoping for the best.
Like understanding, taking intoaccount, you know, wind and
ball position and uphill,downhill and side hill, and like
extra club or hit one club alittle easier Do I hit a shorter
club a little harder?
And there's all these differenttypes of shots that you can hit
right that most people aren'tlike aware of, with bump and
runs and chips and flaps andit's like there's a lot.

(44:00):
Like if you haven't played golf, I think most people don't
understand the complexity of thegame and like how much there
truly is to be really good at it, like how much you really have
to know to like be good to begood at it it is.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
Yeah, it is complex and and I'm I'm happy that I
grew up with it because I knownothing else now but it's also,
like you said, the mental side.
I've learned so much aboutmyself based on how I respond to
situations that happen on thecourse, like, if you look at my
demeanor on the course is goingto match my demeanor in life.
And there's been times like inthe past, when I was a kid I'd

(44:33):
get upset at myself if I hit abad shot.
Well, there's a link there tome putting too much pressure on
myself and, like you bet, I'dfind that outside golf too right
.
And it's amazing how, when Ilook at my own journey and my
own inner growth and who I amnow and who I was and who I
strive to continue to be I meanthe benefits I see from what I'm

(44:54):
working on in myself day to dayI see that on the course too,
I'm bouncing back better.
Bogies aren't really affectingme.
I can think one shot at a time,I can be more present and the
more I play David like, the morethat's important to me versus
my score.
I used to really care about myscore, I used to really care
about my handicap.
And now I'm just like you knowwhat, like how lucky are we to

(45:17):
just be outside?

Speaker 1 (45:17):
right now like how lucky are we?
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, I did the same thing backwhen I was, when I thought I
was good and I could break 80and I would shoot 84, not just
be mad for two days.
And it was like I look back onthat now.
Nobody cared.
It was like what difference ifI shot 78?
What difference would that havemade?
None, nobody cared.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
Nobody cared, I wasn't on.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
TV.
I wasn't playing for anything.
I was just out there with mygrandfather, a couple of friends
or whatever.
It was supposed to be fun, likeyou said, enjoying the outdoors
.
And instead I'm like, oh, Imissed that four-footer on 15
because I suck.
And then you're just like twodays You're like how do I miss
that putt?
And you go to the putting green, make it like 40 times in a row
and you're like, see, I suckand it was like why did I do

(45:59):
that?
I spent so much energy.
Who cares?
A lot of people go through lifeand they never come out of that
habit.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
Yeah, I mean I weighs iron shot and be like oh, my
god if I bogey the first twoholes, I'm like I'm gonna go,
I'm gonna go home.
Why am I here?
This is I'm not gonna break 80today, I'm gonna go home.
I used, I used, to think thatway.
Right, no recovery.
Actually, the first time Ibroke 80 after 15 years.
So I did it once in 10th grade,like on the last day of school.
I was in such a good mood Iwent and played alone and and uh

(46:28):
, and broke 80.
But I hadn't done it for like15 years after and and I was at.
So golf folks, you might you canskip the next minute of this
because it might not make anysense.
But David, I was like two overthrough 16.
I panicked, I panicked, I wentdouble, triple to shoot 78 and
you're just like limping intothe clubhouse.
But I was so happy at the end.

(46:48):
But there's a parallel there,because that limping to that
finish line was I broke new andI broke through a ceiling that
mentally I was good enough tobreak 80 for those 12 years.
But there was something mentalin my game where I was keeping
myself from getting to thatlevel.
Nothing really changed betweenme not breaking 80 and me
breaking 80.
But I broke new ground and itwas so scary Three, four times

(47:12):
later, once I hit that, you'reless nervous, right and and it's
just this.
There's this metaphor hereabout like breaking new ground
and hitting a new level and youknow, looking at your past self
and comparing to that versusothers, it's dude.
We could go on forever.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
We could honestly go on forever here I yeah, I'll
tell one more story, as you weretelling that story.
I should write this as a postbecause you can.
People can use this, uh, inlife.
So, my best ever round.
I should even par 71 um for 18holes, which I'd never I'd.
I'd never even gotten reallyclose to that, maybe.
I was like three or four overprevious best score.
So the weird part about thatround, though and you're talking

(47:47):
about like being two over aftertwo is I started that round,
like so many rounds before, Iwas three over after six.
I had done nothing spectacular,I was just playing like how I
normally would play, which wasprobably going to be nine to 11
over.
I was going to shoot 81 or 82,which would have been normal,
and then on the seventh hole, itwas a par three over like a
ravine, so it was kind of tee togreen.

(48:09):
It wasn't a super hard hole,but you did have to hit it
fairly straight.
There was a lot of trouble.
I was like 185 and I hit a fiveiron that like never left the
flag.
This is one of the best ironshots I've ever hit.
It hit the flag and thenbounced like 20 feet away right.
So I was as I got up there andrealized what happened.
I initially was pissed becauseI was like, oh, I really got

(48:30):
punished for hitting the flag.
It would have been much closerif it had not right.
But there was something aboutthe way I hit that shot, like it
was like a switch flip.
I ended up making that putt forbirdie and then played the last
11 holes two under.
I never made another bogey andso sometimes it only takes just
like one, like one thing, onemoment, one shot, one, whatever,

(48:52):
one dm, one coaching session.
Like it doesn't always takelike this mountain of stuff,
like it can just be like onething which I just got, this
like burst of confidence makingthe putt helped, but like the
shot that I hit was so pure thatI was like, oh, like maybe
something is different.
And then I just hit.
I didn't even hit great shotsthe rest of the round, but I
just hit really good shots likethe rest of the day.

(49:14):
And I think sometimes we losesight of that and we think we
have to have this like it has tobe this like incredible amount
of like productivity.
It's like actually sometimesjust one thing can flip
everything.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
Yeah, we'll bring everyone else back in the
conversation now that thenon-golf folks will bring it
back to real life.
Right, like that's exactly it.
I mean, I think when yousometimes it's really scary to
think about where am I now,where do I want to be?
And it feels like it could bemiles away, or it feels like
it's beyond the ceiling.
And the number of times, david,just like you said, one small
shift, one small realization oflike, hey, this is actually

(49:49):
coming from that.
So if we isolate that and wejust like poke at it for even 15
minutes, the skies open up.
It's still a journey to get tothe end state, but that light
opens up at the end.
I sat down with someone twoweeks ago and she was saying
tarik, I really want to pivotout of this industry.
She's like a senior vp.
She's like, but I've been, I'vebeen here for 15 years in this
industry.
So whatever I pivot to, it'sgoing to have to be in the same

(50:10):
place because, like, my value isyou, you know, because of my
connections and because of thisindustry.
So I have to stay here.
And I was like is that true?
And she's like, oh, it mightnot be true.
I've never thought about thatand those three words is that
true?
And I wrote about this like 15of her then giving me all the
evidence why she actually wouldbe able to make an impact in

(50:32):
five other industries that shecares about.
And that's what it took.
Right Now, is she in that newindustry yet?
No, but is she on her way?
She is right and it's oneconversation away from unlocking
.
That thing is what really firesme up.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Yeah, it's true.
I mean you see posts on thatwhere you're like, I see it
where you're like one DM away,one sales call away, one
whatever away, which seems alittle cliche and I think a lot
of people probably read that andare like that's not true.
But in some cases, I think it is.
I think you're closer than youthink.
You're closer than you giveyourself credit for.
You're capable of more than yougive yourself credit for and
you never know what's going tounlock with again.

(51:09):
Whatever coaching session callinsert what applies to you there
.
Coaching session call you know,insert what applies to you
there.
Like we, there's, there's,there's that graphic where it's
like the guy's digging for adiamond and he's, he's dug, like
this, tons of dirt right andhe's like you know two feet away
and he quits and it's like,yeah, we always.
there's like you want to quitwhen you're like the closest to

(51:30):
the breakthrough because youjust you're like, ah, I put so
much time and effort into it andit's never going to happen, and
it's like you're probably a lotcloser than you realize.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Yeah, it's a really good point.
And when I think back to therewere two really big David mental
barriers I had to get over in2024 for myself with my coach,
and those were two big barriersbut I could trace back the
moment I felt like I moved pastboth of them into one
conversation and one segment ofone conversation.
Like I can tell you right nowlike the 10 minute sliver in the

(52:01):
two conversations with my coachwhere I was like that is when
it changed.
And so will there be reps whereyou feel like you got no
results.
Yeah, probably, but there'salso a shift there, right, like
are we showing up every day forthe results or is this about the
process?
Is the goal the outcome or isthe goal the action?
Right, and yeah, there'ssomething there that I think
helps navigate day to day,especially in this space where

(52:22):
things are kind of unpredictable.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
Yeah, for sure.
Well, this was about thequickest hour I've had on the
podcast in a while Awesome, same.
We could certainly go for muchlonger, but we'll wrap it up
here, or get close to wrappingit up.
So I truly appreciate coming onand your insight, any final
thoughts, parting thoughts orwords of wisdom you want to
leave people with, and then ifyou want to learn more about you

(52:45):
, what you do, then how wouldthey go about doing that?

Speaker 2 (52:48):
Yeah, you can find me on LinkedIn.
It'll be the only social mediathat I'm really on and my
landing page.
Everything's over there.
It's super cool that we didthis because I've been
reflecting over the past hour onjust our journey you know of.
It started with we just talkedabout one DM.
Like that was me waking upsaying, okay, this guy, I see
him every day on LinkedIn, I'mgoing to DM him and, before you

(53:08):
know it, we're talking and westart working together.
You've had such a big impact onme and my journey on LinkedIn.
I mean even just gettingcomfortable and understanding
how this place worked andunderstanding how to write and
the thinking that has to go intothe stuff we're putting out
there.
So you've made a huge impact onme and, yeah, I'm really big on

(53:28):
reflection, as you can probablytell from the past 57 and a
half minutes of this, and ifyou've made it this far, we love
you.
Thank you.
But I will say I appreciate youa lot and I think it's super
cool that we had this spacebetween the last time we spoke
and doing this, because I'm justreflecting on this journey and
it makes me excited about wherewe're going to be a year from
now right, like if, if, if allthis could have been done in the

(53:49):
past seven, eight months, likewhat's going to happen in the
next year.
So I'm fired up and this waseasily the best part of my week.
So I super appreciate you and Isuper appreciate you having me
on here.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Yeah, that's very kind of you to say.
I appreciate those words andhappy.
Whatever small impact I had,I'm happy to provide that you
have a very bright future.
You're a smart guy.
Like I said, you're way aheadof where most people at your
stage of life are.
Whatever you want to do,there's certainly no limits that
you should impose on yourself.

(54:19):
Like you make it happen.
Appreciate you coming on.
Tarek Ali it's T-A-R-I-K-A-L-I.
You can search him up onLinkedIn.
I'll put his information in theshow notes.
We appreciate you listening andreally appreciate you coming on
and sharing your insight.
Thank you, you got it, benCheers.