February 5, 2025 • 20 mins
Hey Mama!
In today’s episode, we’re exploring the #1 belief that may be keeping you from spending more quality time with your family. I’ll share some simple mindset shifts to help you overcome this and build deeper, more meaningful connections with your loved ones, no matter the day of the week. Ready? Let's go!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Today, we are going to betalking about the number one
(00:03):
belief that is stopping you.
From having more time with yourfamily.
I hear you say it all the time.
If there was something that youcan have more of, it would be
more time with your kids moretime with your husband
generally, just more time.
So today I've got to help yourewire your mind when it comes
to spending more time with yourfamily.
(00:25):
That way you can have more timewith them.
Gone are the days where you'rewaiting for Thanksgiving and
Christmas to spend this qualitytime with them.
You, my friend are going to beable to have that any day of the
week.
So, if that sounds likesomething that you want right
now.
And you want that time backsooner than you think you could
(00:45):
get it, keep listening becausewe're diving into all of that
and more on today's episode.
Hey mama.
You're in the right place.
If you're ready to get God setsher confidence and let go of
doubt.
It is time for you to shinethrough all the seasons at that
(01:05):
mom life brings.
And we know it brings a lot.
Having unshakable confidencecomes from an unshakable.
God.
So I invite you to come with meas we get to know him together.
My name is Caroline Thao, yourhost for the restored mind.
I'm also a Christian life andmindset.
Coach my friend, grab yourBible.
(01:27):
Breakout that journal and getsomething to write with because
you are about to thrive.
Ready?
Let's go.
Join the answers lists with therestored mine today.
My friend.
Yes.
Today you get awesome perks likeweekly newsletters tips on how
(01:49):
to get more Christ centeredconfidence and to be the first
to get exclusive access tospecial offers.
I would love to help you groweven more in your faith journey
as you learn how to buildlasting confidence so that you
can let go of whatever doubt isstopping you from moving
forward.
And to start living the lifethat you've always imagined.
(02:11):
I promise mama.
There's going to be no spammingever coming from me.
So you can be rest assured thatwhen you joined the insider's
list, you're getting all of thegood stuff.
I can't wait to connect with youeven more to sign up today.
Go to bit dot ly forward slashrestored mind at, to sign up
today to become an insider.
That's B I T dot L Y forwardslash restored mind.
(02:35):
I've also linked it.
And the.
show notes for you for ease ofaccess a case, you could get all
of that or you could get to itright away because you have
littles running around and yourhands are full.
Don't worry.
I got you, mama.
I think it's safe to say thatweekends are days that many
families look forward to becauseit's just the time where you
(02:55):
gather.
And you spend time with oneanother.
This is where you are together,right?
You go on adventures andwhatever that looks like for you
and your family.
Let me know.
Connect with me even more go andjoin my free community.
Building confidence throughscripture for Christian moms.
I've linked it in the show notesfor you.
(03:15):
Let me know what you like to do.
As a family on the weekendtogether, personally, for us, we
love to go hiking.
We love going to the park.
We love being active as afamily.
Now there are days where we dolike to have a lazy day where we
just watch movies and graze onsnacks and really just unwind.
(03:38):
But most of the time you cancatch my family and I outside
doing something.
Whether it's yard work going onhigh, going to the park,
anything that gets our bodiesmoving.
We're up for it.
Now at what point I was aworking mom and I've also had
the privilege to be a stay athome mom, all of these years.
And I truly believe that nomatter where you are as a mom,
(04:00):
you still have that desire towant to spend time with your
family.
And I'll give you an example.
See as a working mom, I reallydid not like what I was doing
because there was absolutely nowork-life balance.
I was working all of these.
Mandatory over time and thateventually bled into what would
have been my evening with myfamily.
(04:20):
So there were many nights whereI did come home and I wanted to
spend time with my kids, but.
They were getting ready for bed.
So time with them was reallyshort and the conversation, or
at least the intentionalconversation between my husband
and I, that was also verylimited because while we did
speak.
We both were also busy preppingfor the following day.
(04:44):
At just unwinding because weboth had long days as well.
And then as a stay at home, mom.
I looked forward to the weekendbecause I knew that my husband
was going to be home, that Icould have a little bit more
time to myself and decompress.
And also I love being around myhusband.
(05:04):
I love that we are together as afamily.
It just makes the days together,feel more complete.
And my home felt more homey Iwas thinking about this desire
that we all have collectively towant more time with our family
and it hit me.
That there's this one beliefthat really stops all of us from
(05:25):
having more time with ourfamily.
And the more that I thoughtabout it and reflected back on
the mindset and the attitudethat I had in the seasons of my
life as a working mom and a momwith toddlers, it really.
Dawned on me that if I had madethese mindset shifts, then I
believe I would have been moresatisfied or felt more satisfied
(05:48):
in that season.
So I'm going to share threethings I would have done
differently that would havegiven me the time back with my
family.
These mindset shifts will workfor you.
So whether you're a stay homemom or a working mom, I believe
it's going to help you becauseit really is all about
perspective and how you approachthe situation.
The false belief first andforemost is that you have to
(06:10):
wait until the weekend to enjoytime with your family.
This is the belief or really thesubconscious thought that you
have the quote freedom to makethe most out of the weekend.
And the reason why I say freedomis because usually the weekend
is where your routine is morerelaxed.
It doesn't require you to get upby a certain time or go to bed
(06:32):
by a certain time.
Everything just feels more.
At peace, it feels more calm.
It's maybe not as rushed or ascrazy now.
Get it.
Sometimes we do have to get upearly.
We do have to be on a routine onthe weekend, but for most of us,
the weekend is where we have themost freedom.
And also the weekend is wheremost families are going to be
(06:54):
spending time with one another,maybe, they'll go on a day trip
or they'll take a weekend awayAnd just create more memories.
Essentially during the week itfeels like you just don't have
the same amount of time that youdo on the weekend, which is kind
of true, but here's someconsiderations for you to rewire
in your mind so that you canbegin to maximize time with your
(07:16):
family.
And it can be done as soon astoday.
So as long as you are willing tocommit and willing to work on
these mindset shifts, it'sdefinitely going to be helping
you because these three thingsare the things that I wish I
would have done in the season ofmy life, where I really had this
longing and this deep desire tohave more time with my family.
(07:38):
And the first.
Point I'm going to make is tomake the most out of the time
that you have, you want to beintentional in the moment it's
going to help you be fullypresent despite the day that
you're having.
So whether you're stressed outfrom work or you're just so
frustrated, stay at home mom,because it really is just.
One of those days.
When you intentionally bringyourself to be in the moment, it
(08:01):
changes your mood.
And I get it.
Frustration is part of anyemotion that is in the moment,
but it does not have to dictatehow the rest of your night is
going to go.
but what you can do is pause,take a deep breath and think
about.
What you're about to say andwhat you're about to do, which I
(08:22):
know in the moment of us beingfrustrated, it's hard to do that
because you're just reacting toemotions.
And I'm not telling you tobottle up your frustration, but
I do think that.
There is another way that we canoutlet that.
And that is to go to God.
So if you have to take a deepbreath before you walked through
that door, after a long day ofwork, or if your house is messy,
(08:45):
you.
You know, let it stay messy forjust a little while longer and
just appreciate the people thatare in your life.
And here's the kicker.
The day does not wait for you tobe ready.
It starts and stops as Godcommands it.
So, how are you going to makethe most out of the time that
you have left with your familyat the end of the day?
I would say, be very intentionalwith the kind of conversations
(09:08):
that you're having with yourfamily.
Something that I love to do withmy kids is to ask them how their
day was.
Because it really does bring youinto their world.
And it really does open upmultiple opportunities for you
to have.
Conversations that are going tobe life-giving.
They get a chance to express anyfrustrations that they may have
(09:30):
at school with you.
And that's always going to be agood thing because.
You're building trust.
You are building a biggerconnection.
See, I believe that when you sayyou want more time with your
family, You're essentiallysaying you want a deeper, more
meaningful connection with them.
So yes.
Have the conversation with yourkids.
Be very intentional as you'realso speaking to your husband,
(09:53):
it's very easy for us to writeoff the people that's important
in our lives.
To kind of halfway listen tothem because they're always with
us, but the way that you wouldget your time back to build this
connection that you want.
So you can have more time withyour family.
Is by being intentional andmaking the most out of the time
that you have The second mindsetshift is to stop complaining.
(10:16):
About what needs to be done, andthe reason why I say complaining
is because when we gripe aboutthe things that we have to do,
it essentially sets us into anegative mindset and that
automatically shows in our bodylanguage, but how we might be
slouching over.
Huffing and puffing or rollingour eyes back because we just
simply don't want to do thetask.
(10:37):
So it essentially adds morestress that is already there.
It creates a resisting mindsetthat it's going to make it
harder for you to do the task.
and I'm saying task as in likethe work that actually needs to
be done.
And it's also going to keep youfrom being fully present with
your family.
Now it is so easy that as we arein this complaining mindset to
(10:59):
kind of write everybody off,right.
To be annoyed and ask whythere's a mess there.
And say out loud, like I'malways the one that's cleaning
or doing the dishes, or nobodyunderstands me because they're
not the one doing this routineevery single day.
And yes, it does become hard.
Sometimes it does become.
Maybe in annoyance, But I wantto remind you my friend, that
(11:21):
the more that you complain, themore resentment is going to
build, and it's going to feedthe frustration that you have
that can lead to anger.
And it festers into this bigball of negativity, which is.
The complete opposite of what wewant.
So if you catch yourselfcomplaining, don't feel bad.
Don't beat yourself up over it.
(11:42):
There are many moms out there,including myself that has been
in this place many times before.
When you take a moment to pause,which is what I would urge you
to do when you're findingyourself with this complaining
mindset or this complainingheart is to go to the God and to
bring it to him, present it tohim as is.
You are not hiding anything fromhim that he doesn't already
(12:05):
know.
So if you already in acomplaining mindset, go to him
first and thank him for who heis.
Thank him for being your comfortand ask him to help remove that
from you by replacing it withhis peace, for his comfort and
his love.
(12:25):
Every good thing in your lifehas been given to you by God.
Every good thing.
These good things are not alwayseasy, right?
They do come with challenges.
For example, your kids are sucha wonderful gift from God, but
they don't make life easy allthe time.
Some days are hard and that'sokay.
Because it really is part of theblessing.
(12:46):
We ask for these gifts that Godgives us.
And when he does, sometimes it'spackaged in a very pretty bow.
And as soon as we unwrap it andwe spend time with it, we
realized, dang, this is a lotharder than I expected.
I don't like these challengesand it makes it so easy for us
to take this gift for granted.
Other times when it's notpackaged in a pretty bow, we're
(13:07):
also reluctant to accept it.
So we have to kind of take amoment to take a look at our
heart posture.
I know that's just an examplewith our kids, but it's really
with everything with your home,with your husband, with your
career, if you are a workingmom, whatever it is, all of
these things have been given toyou by God.
So I think that reflectingquestion here would be to ask,
(13:29):
are you stewarding it well, Whenyou refrain from complaining my
friend, you'll be able to makethe most out of the time that
you have with your family.
Because it keeps you fromdistancing yourself from them or
from writing them off as someonewho is creating a mess.
But this reminds me also ofPaul, as I'm thinking about it
(13:50):
and how he asked God to removethe thorn from his side.
This is in two Corinthianschapter 12.
And I really like how Godresponds.
He says.
My grace is sufficient for youfor my power is made perfect in
weakness.
And we know that when we areweak, God's power is going to
come over us.
(14:10):
and so the thought process mightbe.
Well, does that mean that I'malways weak, you know, and the
answer it would be.
Yeah, because I can't doanything without him.
And I think that that's true forall of us.
We think that we want to be verystoic and strong in our
situation, but without God,apart from him, we can do
nothing.
And so, I just think that it wassuch a beautiful reminder that
(14:32):
when we stop complaining and wejust accept.
The thorn on that is at ourside.
It's such a beautiful thingbecause we know that God's grace
is sufficient for us.
it is enough for us to have thispeace and calm.
And it's such a beautifulreminder that.
As we refrain, like I was sayingearlier from complaining, then
(14:53):
you get the most out of the timethat you have with your family.
The last mindset shift that Iwant to share with you is to
really think about how ithonestly is about quality over
quantity.
If time is short, my friend, youwant to make the best of it.
That's what I talked about atthe first point of this
(15:14):
conversation.
The quality of conversation andthe intention leaves a lasting
and more satisfying fulfillmentin your heart.
Over a bunch of conversations oractivities where you are
absent-minded.
Think about it.
Have you ever had a conversationwith your spouse or your kids
where you were halfway listeningbecause you were distracted with
something else?
(15:34):
And ever said that was the mostsatisfying conversation I have
with this person.
Probably not right.
As you think about the kind ofconversations you have that were
very good, comes from when youare not distracted, it comes
from when you are fully engulfedin that conversation or fully
engulfed in that activity withsomeone, right.
(15:55):
But when you stop to payattention to be intentional with
the conversation,Distraction-free or mostly
distraction-free.
And the reason why I say mostlyis because if you are a parent,
you know, that there's neverreally going to be a chance for
you to have a conversation.
That's 100% distraction-free.
So.
Mostly distraction-free I thinkis a more realistic way of
(16:18):
putting that.
The fulfillment that comes fromthe quality of the conversation,
though, it does give you that.
Satisfaction that you have moretime with your family.
So this, again, all of this canbe practiced on any day of the
week.
It doesn't have to be on theweekend.
Remember it is about building aconnection.
wanting more time with yourfamily?
(16:40):
But not creating the space forthe quality conversation is
actually going to defeat thepurpose and it'll leave you
feeling like you didn't haveenough time with them.
A great way to have adistraction free or mostly
distraction free conversation ortime with someone is to make it
harder to get distracted.
I know, it sounds kind of silly,but.
If you make it harder to getdistracted, then you are having
(17:04):
to put effort to push thatperson aside or to push the
moment aside.
An example, that's coming tomind right now is your cell
phone.
It is the number onedistraction.
I personally believe.
Anyway, it is the number onedistraction that keeps us from
being fully present, becausethere are so many things you can
do while there.
And so if you leave your phonein the kitchen, as you're having
(17:26):
a conversation with your husbandor your kids, you have to
literally get up and walk awayfrom them to get your phone,
which they'll going to ask youyet.
Your kids are going to ask you,like, where are you going?
What are you doing?
And it's going to automaticallystop you in your tracks because
now you have to make a decision.
Are you going to continue to goto your phone?
Or are you going to pause anddivert your attention back onto
(17:49):
this conversation or theactivity that they want to do?
And then say, for example, ifyour family is watching a movie,
just put your phone in adifferent room so that you're
not constantly checking it.
When you get notifications thatway you can be in the moment,
enjoying the movie with yourfamily.
And it just makes for a greatconversation later, too.
When you talk about the movie.
So as we wrap up today'sconversation, I just want to
(18:11):
recap, because I think thatwe've talked about a lot of good
points today.
About the number one belief ofthinking that you have to wait
until the weekend to enjoy yourfamily because you absolutely do
not.
All of these things can beimplemented any day of the week,
you want to make the most out ofthe time that you have meaning
you want to be intentional inthe moment.
It is going to help you be fullypresent and you can start it by
(18:34):
starting your day with God beingpresent in conversations,
engaging in conversations.
And then the second point thatwe talked about was to stop
complaining about what needs tobe done.
I'm not saying this to be meanor about saying this to call you
out or anything.
I truly do believe that all ofus find ourselves.
In a complaining mindset and ina complaining heart, which only
(18:54):
adds to the stress that isalready existing.
It creates a resisting mindsetthat is going to make it harder
for you to take on a task or befully present with your family.
And that is defeating thepurpose of wanting to spend more
time with your family.
So pause, take a deep breath.
If you have to.
And then the last thing wetalked about is to really think
(19:16):
about the quality over quantity.
If your time is short, youreally honestly want to make the
best of it.
Quality conversation andattention that leaves a lasting,
more satisfying fulfillment inyour heart.
All right.
My friends.
I know that it can be hard,especially when you're in The
thick of your routine during theweek, but I know that as you
(19:37):
make these mindset shift, it isgoing to change the way you look
at how you spend time with yourfamily.
I know it can be hard on myfriend, but you can do hard
things.
Hi everybody if you liked thisepisode, leave my mommy.
(19:59):
five star reveal on applepodcasts Thank you so much.
have a nice day.
All right.
My friend, you heard her.
Thank you so much for taking thetime to leave that review on
apple podcasts.
It brings me so much joy hearingfrom you, sadly.
This is where we part ways, butI can't wait to be back on
Wednesday to have anotherwonderful conversation with you.
(20:23):
My friend go in peace.
Today, we are going to betalking about the number one
(00:03):
belief that is stopping you.
From having more time with yourfamily.
I hear you say it all the time.
If there was something that youcan have more of, it would be
more time with your kids moretime with your husband
generally, just more time.
So today I've got to help yourewire your mind when it comes
to spending more time with yourfamily.
(00:25):
That way you can have more timewith them.
Gone are the days where you'rewaiting for Thanksgiving and
Christmas to spend this qualitytime with them.
You, my friend are going to beable to have that any day of the
week.
So, if that sounds likesomething that you want right
now.
And you want that time backsooner than you think you could
(00:45):
get it, keep listening becausewe're diving into all of that
and more on today's episode.
Hey mama.
You're in the right place.
If you're ready to get God setsher confidence and let go of
doubt.
It is time for you to shinethrough all the seasons at that
(01:05):
mom life brings.
And we know it brings a lot.
Having unshakable confidencecomes from an unshakable.
God.
So I invite you to come with meas we get to know him together.
My name is Caroline Thao, yourhost for the restored mind.
I'm also a Christian life andmindset.
Coach my friend, grab yourBible.
(01:27):
Breakout that journal and getsomething to write with because
you are about to thrive.
Ready?
Let's go.
Join the answers lists with therestored mine today.
My friend.
Yes.
Today you get awesome perks likeweekly newsletters tips on how
(01:49):
to get more Christ centeredconfidence and to be the first
to get exclusive access tospecial offers.
I would love to help you groweven more in your faith journey
as you learn how to buildlasting confidence so that you
can let go of whatever doubt isstopping you from moving
forward.
And to start living the lifethat you've always imagined.
(02:11):
I promise mama.
There's going to be no spammingever coming from me.
So you can be rest assured thatwhen you joined the insider's
list, you're getting all of thegood stuff.
I can't wait to connect with youeven more to sign up today.
Go to bit dot ly forward slashrestored mind at, to sign up
today to become an insider.
That's B I T dot L Y forwardslash restored mind.
(02:35):
I've also linked it.
And the.
show notes for you for ease ofaccess a case, you could get all
of that or you could get to itright away because you have
littles running around and yourhands are full.
Don't worry.
I got you, mama.
I think it's safe to say thatweekends are days that many
families look forward to becauseit's just the time where you
(02:55):
gather.
And you spend time with oneanother.
This is where you are together,right?
You go on adventures andwhatever that looks like for you
and your family.
Let me know.
Connect with me even more go andjoin my free community.
Building confidence throughscripture for Christian moms.
I've linked it in the show notesfor you.
(03:15):
Let me know what you like to do.
As a family on the weekendtogether, personally, for us, we
love to go hiking.
We love going to the park.
We love being active as afamily.
Now there are days where we dolike to have a lazy day where we
just watch movies and graze onsnacks and really just unwind.
(03:38):
But most of the time you cancatch my family and I outside
doing something.
Whether it's yard work going onhigh, going to the park,
anything that gets our bodiesmoving.
We're up for it.
Now at what point I was aworking mom and I've also had
the privilege to be a stay athome mom, all of these years.
And I truly believe that nomatter where you are as a mom,
(04:00):
you still have that desire towant to spend time with your
family.
And I'll give you an example.
See as a working mom, I reallydid not like what I was doing
because there was absolutely nowork-life balance.
I was working all of these.
Mandatory over time and thateventually bled into what would
have been my evening with myfamily.
(04:20):
So there were many nights whereI did come home and I wanted to
spend time with my kids, but.
They were getting ready for bed.
So time with them was reallyshort and the conversation, or
at least the intentionalconversation between my husband
and I, that was also verylimited because while we did
speak.
We both were also busy preppingfor the following day.
(04:44):
At just unwinding because weboth had long days as well.
And then as a stay at home, mom.
I looked forward to the weekendbecause I knew that my husband
was going to be home, that Icould have a little bit more
time to myself and decompress.
And also I love being around myhusband.
(05:04):
I love that we are together as afamily.
It just makes the days together,feel more complete.
And my home felt more homey Iwas thinking about this desire
that we all have collectively towant more time with our family
and it hit me.
That there's this one beliefthat really stops all of us from
(05:25):
having more time with ourfamily.
And the more that I thoughtabout it and reflected back on
the mindset and the attitudethat I had in the seasons of my
life as a working mom and a momwith toddlers, it really.
Dawned on me that if I had madethese mindset shifts, then I
believe I would have been moresatisfied or felt more satisfied
(05:48):
in that season.
So I'm going to share threethings I would have done
differently that would havegiven me the time back with my
family.
These mindset shifts will workfor you.
So whether you're a stay homemom or a working mom, I believe
it's going to help you becauseit really is all about
perspective and how you approachthe situation.
The false belief first andforemost is that you have to
(06:10):
wait until the weekend to enjoytime with your family.
This is the belief or really thesubconscious thought that you
have the quote freedom to makethe most out of the weekend.
And the reason why I say freedomis because usually the weekend
is where your routine is morerelaxed.
It doesn't require you to get upby a certain time or go to bed
(06:32):
by a certain time.
Everything just feels more.
At peace, it feels more calm.
It's maybe not as rushed or ascrazy now.
Get it.
Sometimes we do have to get upearly.
We do have to be on a routine onthe weekend, but for most of us,
the weekend is where we have themost freedom.
And also the weekend is wheremost families are going to be
(06:54):
spending time with one another,maybe, they'll go on a day trip
or they'll take a weekend awayAnd just create more memories.
Essentially during the week itfeels like you just don't have
the same amount of time that youdo on the weekend, which is kind
of true, but here's someconsiderations for you to rewire
in your mind so that you canbegin to maximize time with your
(07:16):
family.
And it can be done as soon astoday.
So as long as you are willing tocommit and willing to work on
these mindset shifts, it'sdefinitely going to be helping
you because these three thingsare the things that I wish I
would have done in the season ofmy life, where I really had this
longing and this deep desire tohave more time with my family.
(07:38):
And the first.
Point I'm going to make is tomake the most out of the time
that you have, you want to beintentional in the moment it's
going to help you be fullypresent despite the day that
you're having.
So whether you're stressed outfrom work or you're just so
frustrated, stay at home mom,because it really is just.
One of those days.
When you intentionally bringyourself to be in the moment, it
(08:01):
changes your mood.
And I get it.
Frustration is part of anyemotion that is in the moment,
but it does not have to dictatehow the rest of your night is
going to go.
but what you can do is pause,take a deep breath and think
about.
What you're about to say andwhat you're about to do, which I
(08:22):
know in the moment of us beingfrustrated, it's hard to do that
because you're just reacting toemotions.
And I'm not telling you tobottle up your frustration, but
I do think that.
There is another way that we canoutlet that.
And that is to go to God.
So if you have to take a deepbreath before you walked through
that door, after a long day ofwork, or if your house is messy,
(08:45):
you.
You know, let it stay messy forjust a little while longer and
just appreciate the people thatare in your life.
And here's the kicker.
The day does not wait for you tobe ready.
It starts and stops as Godcommands it.
So, how are you going to makethe most out of the time that
you have left with your familyat the end of the day?
I would say, be very intentionalwith the kind of conversations
(09:08):
that you're having with yourfamily.
Something that I love to do withmy kids is to ask them how their
day was.
Because it really does bring youinto their world.
And it really does open upmultiple opportunities for you
to have.
Conversations that are going tobe life-giving.
They get a chance to express anyfrustrations that they may have
(09:30):
at school with you.
And that's always going to be agood thing because.
You're building trust.
You are building a biggerconnection.
See, I believe that when you sayyou want more time with your
family, You're essentiallysaying you want a deeper, more
meaningful connection with them.
So yes.
Have the conversation with yourkids.
Be very intentional as you'realso speaking to your husband,
(09:53):
it's very easy for us to writeoff the people that's important
in our lives.
To kind of halfway listen tothem because they're always with
us, but the way that you wouldget your time back to build this
connection that you want.
So you can have more time withyour family.
Is by being intentional andmaking the most out of the time
that you have The second mindsetshift is to stop complaining.
(10:16):
About what needs to be done, andthe reason why I say complaining
is because when we gripe aboutthe things that we have to do,
it essentially sets us into anegative mindset and that
automatically shows in our bodylanguage, but how we might be
slouching over.
Huffing and puffing or rollingour eyes back because we just
simply don't want to do thetask.
(10:37):
So it essentially adds morestress that is already there.
It creates a resisting mindsetthat it's going to make it
harder for you to do the task.
and I'm saying task as in likethe work that actually needs to
be done.
And it's also going to keep youfrom being fully present with
your family.
Now it is so easy that as we arein this complaining mindset to
(10:59):
kind of write everybody off,right.
To be annoyed and ask whythere's a mess there.
And say out loud, like I'malways the one that's cleaning
or doing the dishes, or nobodyunderstands me because they're
not the one doing this routineevery single day.
And yes, it does become hard.
Sometimes it does become.
Maybe in annoyance, But I wantto remind you my friend, that
(11:21):
the more that you complain, themore resentment is going to
build, and it's going to feedthe frustration that you have
that can lead to anger.
And it festers into this bigball of negativity, which is.
The complete opposite of what wewant.
So if you catch yourselfcomplaining, don't feel bad.
Don't beat yourself up over it.
(11:42):
There are many moms out there,including myself that has been
in this place many times before.
When you take a moment to pause,which is what I would urge you
to do when you're findingyourself with this complaining
mindset or this complainingheart is to go to the God and to
bring it to him, present it tohim as is.
You are not hiding anything fromhim that he doesn't already
(12:05):
know.
So if you already in acomplaining mindset, go to him
first and thank him for who heis.
Thank him for being your comfortand ask him to help remove that
from you by replacing it withhis peace, for his comfort and
his love.
(12:25):
Every good thing in your lifehas been given to you by God.
Every good thing.
These good things are not alwayseasy, right?
They do come with challenges.
For example, your kids are sucha wonderful gift from God, but
they don't make life easy allthe time.
Some days are hard and that'sokay.
Because it really is part of theblessing.
(12:46):
We ask for these gifts that Godgives us.
And when he does, sometimes it'spackaged in a very pretty bow.
And as soon as we unwrap it andwe spend time with it, we
realized, dang, this is a lotharder than I expected.
I don't like these challengesand it makes it so easy for us
to take this gift for granted.
Other times when it's notpackaged in a pretty bow, we're
(13:07):
also reluctant to accept it.
So we have to kind of take amoment to take a look at our
heart posture.
I know that's just an examplewith our kids, but it's really
with everything with your home,with your husband, with your
career, if you are a workingmom, whatever it is, all of
these things have been given toyou by God.
So I think that reflectingquestion here would be to ask,
(13:29):
are you stewarding it well, Whenyou refrain from complaining my
friend, you'll be able to makethe most out of the time that
you have with your family.
Because it keeps you fromdistancing yourself from them or
from writing them off as someonewho is creating a mess.
But this reminds me also ofPaul, as I'm thinking about it
(13:50):
and how he asked God to removethe thorn from his side.
This is in two Corinthianschapter 12.
And I really like how Godresponds.
He says.
My grace is sufficient for youfor my power is made perfect in
weakness.
And we know that when we areweak, God's power is going to
come over us.
(14:10):
and so the thought process mightbe.
Well, does that mean that I'malways weak, you know, and the
answer it would be.
Yeah, because I can't doanything without him.
And I think that that's true forall of us.
We think that we want to be verystoic and strong in our
situation, but without God,apart from him, we can do
nothing.
And so, I just think that it wassuch a beautiful reminder that
(14:32):
when we stop complaining and wejust accept.
The thorn on that is at ourside.
It's such a beautiful thingbecause we know that God's grace
is sufficient for us.
it is enough for us to have thispeace and calm.
And it's such a beautifulreminder that.
As we refrain, like I was sayingearlier from complaining, then
(14:53):
you get the most out of the timethat you have with your family.
The last mindset shift that Iwant to share with you is to
really think about how ithonestly is about quality over
quantity.
If time is short, my friend, youwant to make the best of it.
That's what I talked about atthe first point of this
(15:14):
conversation.
The quality of conversation andthe intention leaves a lasting
and more satisfying fulfillmentin your heart.
Over a bunch of conversations oractivities where you are
absent-minded.
Think about it.
Have you ever had a conversationwith your spouse or your kids
where you were halfway listeningbecause you were distracted with
something else?
(15:34):
And ever said that was the mostsatisfying conversation I have
with this person.
Probably not right.
As you think about the kind ofconversations you have that were
very good, comes from when youare not distracted, it comes
from when you are fully engulfedin that conversation or fully
engulfed in that activity withsomeone, right.
(15:55):
But when you stop to payattention to be intentional with
the conversation,Distraction-free or mostly
distraction-free.
And the reason why I say mostlyis because if you are a parent,
you know, that there's neverreally going to be a chance for
you to have a conversation.
That's 100% distraction-free.
So.
Mostly distraction-free I thinkis a more realistic way of
(16:18):
putting that.
The fulfillment that comes fromthe quality of the conversation,
though, it does give you that.
Satisfaction that you have moretime with your family.
So this, again, all of this canbe practiced on any day of the
week.
It doesn't have to be on theweekend.
Remember it is about building aconnection.
wanting more time with yourfamily?
(16:40):
But not creating the space forthe quality conversation is
actually going to defeat thepurpose and it'll leave you
feeling like you didn't haveenough time with them.
A great way to have adistraction free or mostly
distraction free conversation ortime with someone is to make it
harder to get distracted.
I know, it sounds kind of silly,but.
If you make it harder to getdistracted, then you are having
(17:04):
to put effort to push thatperson aside or to push the
moment aside.
An example, that's coming tomind right now is your cell
phone.
It is the number onedistraction.
I personally believe.
Anyway, it is the number onedistraction that keeps us from
being fully present, becausethere are so many things you can
do while there.
And so if you leave your phonein the kitchen, as you're having
(17:26):
a conversation with your husbandor your kids, you have to
literally get up and walk awayfrom them to get your phone,
which they'll going to ask youyet.
Your kids are going to ask you,like, where are you going?
What are you doing?
And it's going to automaticallystop you in your tracks because
now you have to make a decision.
Are you going to continue to goto your phone?
Or are you going to pause anddivert your attention back onto
(17:49):
this conversation or theactivity that they want to do?
And then say, for example, ifyour family is watching a movie,
just put your phone in adifferent room so that you're
not constantly checking it.
When you get notifications thatway you can be in the moment,
enjoying the movie with yourfamily.
And it just makes for a greatconversation later, too.
When you talk about the movie.
So as we wrap up today'sconversation, I just want to
(18:11):
recap, because I think thatwe've talked about a lot of good
points today.
About the number one belief ofthinking that you have to wait
until the weekend to enjoy yourfamily because you absolutely do
not.
All of these things can beimplemented any day of the week,
you want to make the most out ofthe time that you have meaning
you want to be intentional inthe moment.
It is going to help you be fullypresent and you can start it by
(18:34):
starting your day with God beingpresent in conversations,
engaging in conversations.
And then the second point thatwe talked about was to stop
complaining about what needs tobe done.
I'm not saying this to be meanor about saying this to call you
out or anything.
I truly do believe that all ofus find ourselves.
In a complaining mindset and ina complaining heart, which only
(18:54):
adds to the stress that isalready existing.
It creates a resisting mindsetthat is going to make it harder
for you to take on a task or befully present with your family.
And that is defeating thepurpose of wanting to spend more
time with your family.
So pause, take a deep breath.
If you have to.
And then the last thing wetalked about is to really think
(19:16):
about the quality over quantity.
If your time is short, youreally honestly want to make the
best of it.
Quality conversation andattention that leaves a lasting,
more satisfying fulfillment inyour heart.
All right.
My friends.
I know that it can be hard,especially when you're in The
thick of your routine during theweek, but I know that as you
(19:37):
make these mindset shift, it isgoing to change the way you look
at how you spend time with yourfamily.
I know it can be hard on myfriend, but you can do hard
things.
Hi everybody if you liked thisepisode, leave my mommy.
(19:59):
five star reveal on applepodcasts Thank you so much.
have a nice day.
All right.
My friend, you heard her.
Thank you so much for taking thetime to leave that review on
apple podcasts.
It brings me so much joy hearingfrom you, sadly.
This is where we part ways, butI can't wait to be back on
Wednesday to have anotherwonderful conversation with you.
(20:23):
My friend go in peace.
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