Episode Transcript
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What is imposter syndrome andhow is it killing your
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confidence?
I'm deep diving into this topicbecause it stops so many of us
mamas from reaching our goals.
Let's get into it.
Hey, mama.
Are you tired of battling yourown mind with self-doubt, and
with imposter syndrome?
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Have you ever wondered if youare enough if you ever said yes
to any of these, let's uprootall of that and start rebuilding
the framework for you to getGod-centered confidence.
My name is Caroline Tau.
I'm host for the Restore Mind,and I'm also a biblical
confidence coach, where I teachyou how to get confidence
through scripture.
Are you ready?
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Grab your Bible, break out thatjournal and get something to
write with.
Let's go.
Hey, I have some exciting newsfor you, mama.
This is the perfect opportunityfor us to connect outside the
podcast.
I'm hosting a live workshopwhere you get to experience what
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it's like to work with me asyour biblical confidence coach.
We'll be hanging out on Zoom fora power packed hour on Monday,
April 14th at 10:00 AM PacificStandard time, I am going to
walk you through the process ofhow you can hear from God
clearly and build unshakeableconfidence in who you are.
It's going to be fun, faithfilled, and full of powerful
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takeaways.
And guess what?
Everyone who joins the live willreceive an exclusive 20% off
your first coaching callservice.
If you book by April 18th andI'm giving away a Daily Grace
company gift card to one luckymama during the workshop, spots
are limited.
So grab yours now.
Just head to the show notes andclick the link to save your
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seat.
I can't wait to see you there.
As some of you might know, theselast six months I've been back
at school, not the traditionalkind, But I have been furthering
my education because I want todeliver you the best service
that I can.
And while I was going throughthis course, I found myself
second guessing a lot of things,which is actually normal.
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I'm learning new things andtrying to connect what I'm
learning to the reality of mysmall business.
And it's not easy, especiallywhen you're trying to figure out
something for the first time.
It makes sense that there mightbe some confusion, some
uncertainty, and evenfrustration.
But where I found myselfstarting to panic was when
imposter syndrome startedcreeping in.
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I admit it almost took me outbecause I wanted to quit.
I was thinking about all thereasons I was not ready to lead
as a voice in the space of faithand coaching.
It brought me back to all thememories of the times when I
felt like I simply wasn't enoughto be in the space where I
wanted to serve in, which justgoes to show when you're doing
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something for the Kingdom ofGod, the enemy will attack you
in ways you probably wouldn'thave thought of.
And yes, some of it has to dowith your mind and how you're
internalizing the informationthat.
You're seeing, but I am notgoing to discount the fact that
the enemy will leave you littleseedlings that sprouts death if
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you let it.
So I'm using this experience asa way to talk about imposter
syndrome and how a can be aconfidence killer if you don't
take action.
First of all, what is impostersyndrome?
Simply put, it is a thoughtpattern that makes you doubt
yourself, and there's this fearthat you might be viewed as
someone who doesn't have enoughcredentials behind your name to
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be in that space that you wantto serve in.
Essentially, it makes you doubtyourself.
It makes you feel like you'renot enough, and it can stem from
working out at the perfectionistmindset, which I've.
Recently talked about here onthis podcast, so I'll link those
in the show notes for you incase you've missed it.
But imposter syndrome stems froma lot of places.
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It's from the fear that you'llfail in what you're doing or the
thinking that you might letsomeone down or the experience
of going through something new,which I just shared about with
you and also the comparisonmindset.
And these are just a few of thereasons why you might be
experiencing imposter syndrome.
There's so much more out there.
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But it's important that yourecognize it when you're going
through it because it will stopyour growth.
And when you recognize it,you're actually faced with two
decisions.
One, do you let it win?
Or two, are you going to fightback?
Fighting back is going to giveyou the greater chance at
growth.
Typically, when you're secondguessing your abilities to be
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able to do something A lot comesup that's related to who you
are, the titles that you mighthave or the accomplishments
you've had in the past, or maybethe lack of accomplishments
you've had.
It's your own abilities that aretied into all of these things.
And as you go through this cycleand continue to fight back with
the power of God with you,you're going to actually
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increase your confidence.
You realize that it is thebattle of the mind.
When you are making the choiceto push back these negative
thoughts of imposter syndrome,and by the way, when I say push
back, I don't mean to hide orignore them.
What I mean is you'reconfronting them and you're
replacing the lies that you'retelling yourself with a truth
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that's backed by scripture.
Going through imposter syndromeis going to humble you.
Looking at Proverbs three,Solomon leaves words of wisdom
to his son.
And you actually might recognizeProverbs three, verse five and
six, which says, trust in theLord with all your heart and do
not lean on your ownunderstanding in all your ways
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acknowledge him and he will makestraight your paths.
We're gonna take a moment totalk about this verse, because
once you make that connection,it's going to help you root
yourself in God even more, whichis just going to help you on
your confidence journey.
So how does one trust, well,when it comes to trust, there's
this assumed thinking that youhave to trust perfectly.
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The question of why can't I justfully trust God?
Why do I have that little bit ofdoubt or unbelief that's always
lingering around?
This thought has probably cometo your mind, and it makes you
think that maybe there'ssomething wrong with you, that
maybe you don't have enoughfaith, or that your faith is not
strong enough, and that thoughthas probably at some point put a
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lot of pressure on you as well.
Now allow me to offer thismindset shift with you that will
hopefully bring a new light intohow you move in your faith
journey and the way that youlook at trust when you think
about trusting God, remove theidea that you have to trust
perfectly, which is anunrealistic expectation that you
are setting for yourself.
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Look at trust as childlikefaith.
The trust that Solomon talksabout here is to think about
whether or not you arepurposefully rejecting God with
unbelief.
That doesn't mean you won'tquestion, but in the moment of
your unbelief, the question tothink about is what are you
doing?
Are you scrambling to come upwith a solution relying on
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yourself, or did you release itto God by surrendering your
worries over to him again, itcan.
Be tricky to navigate this, andyou won't be perfect at this.
Sometimes the trust that you putin God might become shaken, but
I encourage you to remindyourself of who he is when you
do this, you put God in front ofyour fears, your worries, and
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your lack of trust.
And what follows in these versesand proverbs is a means for you
to put away your ownunderstanding.
That's why Solomon says not tolean onto your own
understanding, right?
in all ways acknowledge him.
So acknowledge him.
When you have the unbelief,don't run and hide it, mama, or
don't try to fill the gap foryourself or try to push it under
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the rug and pretend that it'snot there.
Bring it to God and let himknow, Lord, this is what I want
and I trust you with this, butthere is still this unbelief
that is in my heart Teach me torelease it to you.
And it's not always somethingthat is going to be easy to
admit or even to go through, butit is going to be so powerful in
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the way that you move,especially when imposter
syndrome is holding you down.
So acknowledge him when you haveunbelief.
Mama.
Don't run and hide or try tofill the gap for yourself.
Imposter syndrome can kill yourconfidence because it makes you
believe that you are notqualified to be the voice of
authority in where you areserving.
It could be in your career as asmall business owner, even as a
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mom.
A wife and honestly, reallyanything, anything that you
really want to excel in and andwant to grow in and serve for
the Kingdom of God.
Imposter syndrome will makeitself known to you and the
reality is that you have beenequipped by God to take on the
task that he's given you.
It's time for you to step intothat with courage, with boldness
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that comes only from God.
The enemy will attack you whenyou're doing something for the
Kingdom of God, but you have tobe willing to put on the armor
of God and fight back So it candefinitely harm your confidence
in making you think that you'rejust not qualified enough, or
it'll make you look at all thethings that you're lacking, and
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it'll also make you look at allthe things you should have done
leading up to the situation thatyou're in now.
And none of that speaks true towho God is.
God does not put you in the pastand keep you there.
As a matter of fact, I trulybelieve that he will bring you
into the wilderness So that youcan grow and he's gonna prune
you according to his will.
So the one practical thing thatyou can do is actually two
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things, right?
So this is gonna be a two forone deal because it's a two part
step.
And so the first part is youwant to stop focusing on
whatever is causing you to thinkthat you have not been equipped
for the work that you areworking towards.
That could be focusing on yourstats.
If you are a small businessowner and you find yourself
looking at your stats andcomparing it to someone else
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that's in a similar niche thanyou, it could also be maybe you
are comparing your kids tosomeone else's kids, and that's
just not fair to your childbecause your child is uniquely
created to be who they are.
And it could also be youcomparing your parenting style
to someone else's, yourpersonality, the way that you
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were raised.
Everything speaks so much intoyour parenting style.
It's also the boundaries thatyou've set with your husband and
within your own family.
So when you compare yourparenting style to someone
else's, it is going to shiftyour focus on trying to be like
that person versus you uniquelybeing the parent that God has
equipped you to be for the childthat you have.
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So whatever it is, mama, stopfocusing on that.
And then the second part is totrust in God's plan.
Again, he's equipped you toserve, so serve in a way that
is.
Honoring and pleasing to God.
Remember, it is not the physicalwork that is pleasing to him,
but in how you're honoring him,and you could do that by living
a holy life as one Peterschapter one verse 15 and 16
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says.
But as he who called you isholy, you also be holy in all
your conduct since it iswritten, you shall be holy.
For I am holy.
Honoring God involves strivingfor holiness in your thoughts,
your words, and actions.
It's reflecting on his purityand righteousness keep in mind
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that you want to imitate him inall of his attributes, but it
does not make you equal to him.
it also does not mean that youneed to be perfect because the
only person that's ever beenperfect is Jesus.
The reality is we cannot beperfect because we are not
perfect.
So when you're pursuingholiness, know that.
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Perfection is not the goal.
The goal is to represent himwell.
Now, I know that we've talkedabout a lot today when it comes
to imposter syndrome, and I hopethat this episode has given you
the tools to move forward andkick imposter syndrome to the
curb because mama, it is a lotand it's really heavy to deal
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with.
We talked about what impostersyndrome is, which is a thought
pattern that makes you doubtyourself, and it also makes you
feel like you're not enough.
It stems from a lot of places.
It's from fear that you'll failin what you're doing, thinking
that you might let someone down.
And then we also talked aboutthe importance of recognizing
the signs of it because it willhinder your growth, typically
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this happens when you're secondguessing your abilities.
We talked about trusting God,removing the idea that you have
to trust him perfectly.
Instead, look at trust aschildlike faith.
And then finally, we talkedabout how it's killing your
confidence, right?
Because imposter syndrome makesyou believe that you are not
qualified to be the voice ofauthority in where you are
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serving.
But the reality is that you'vebeen well equipped by God to
take on this task that he'sgiven you.
And then of course, I shared onepractical thing that you can do,
which help as a bonus whenyou're dealing with imposter
syndrome.
It's first to stop focusing onwhatever is causing you to think
that you have not been equippedfor what you're working towards,
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and then to trust God's plan,pursuing holiness in your work.
It's not about obtaining perfectholiness, but representing him
well.
I know.
And even you know that you'vebeen equipped.
So don't let imposter syndrome,self-doubt, or whatever else,
stop you from growing in theplace where God's called you to
serve.
Don't let the distraction shakeyour confidence.
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Mama.
Show up with authority.
And yes, it can be hard, but youcan do hard things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
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Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you on top of that.
If you want to connect evenmore, join the insider's list.
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I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on in getting
God centered confidence.
The link to join the insider'slist is going to be posted in
the show notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.