April 30, 2025 • 13 mins
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Hey Mama!
Have you ever felt like your dreams, identity, and aspirations were supposed to disappear the moment you became a mom? You’re not alone. In today’s episode, we're having a heart-to-heart about how mom guilt plants seeds of fear, doubt, and pressure — and how God's truth invites you into freedom, not fear.
We're going to unpack why not all fear is the same, how to recognize the difference between fear that pulls you away from God versus fear of the Lord that transforms you, and how you can start breaking free from the lies that weigh you down.
Ready? Let's go!
Key Takeaways:
- Learn the difference between unhealthy fear and holy, transformative fear.
- Discover how mom guilt keeps you stuck — and how Scripture sets you free.
- Simple, actionable challenges to replace lies with God's truth and deepen your confidence in His Word.
Bible Verses Mentioned:
Proverbs 3:11-12
Hebrews 12:11
2 Timothy 1:7
Matthew 11:29
More FREE Resources:
FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms
Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider
Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com
Work with me
Book your 1:1 call:- https://calendly.com/restoredmind
Ways You Can Give Back:
Leave A Review On Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-restored-mind-faith-building-self-doubt/id1654768629
I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You know, the kind of fear thatkeeps you stuck, the kind that
whispers you are not goodenough, and it makes you
question your decisions,especially as a mom.
It makes you wonder if you'redoing the right thing and you
find yourself going in circles.
What if I told you that thosethoughts are not from God?
(00:20):
It's actually fear fueled bymom.
Guilt.
In today's conversation, I'mbreaking down how to push
through fear and self-doubt withbold confidence that comes from
trusting God even when it'shard, let's dive in.
(00:41):
Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
(01:03):
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
Okay, picture this.
You finally have a group ofladies that understand your
problems as a mom who struggleswith mom guilt, and then they
rally around you and help youalong the way as you partner
(01:26):
with God through it all.
Doesn't that sound amazing?
If you didn't already know, Ihave a free community where
that's exactly what's happening.
We're all in different seasonsas a mom, but there's one thing
we have in common.
Well, let me stop there.
There's actually two things wehave in common.
The first one is that we are allworking through mom guilt, and
(01:48):
the second one is our love forGod.
And every single one of them aretaking it one baby step at a
time to challenge the lies thatMom guilts can tell you, come
and join us.
My friend there is.
Biblical encouragement there foryou as well as fun challenges
and you get to make new friendsalong the way.
It's incredibly fun and thoseladies are just absolutely
(02:11):
amazing.
The link to join is in the shownotes.
I can't wait to see you there sothat we can begin this journey
together.
When I found out I was gonna bea mama, my life flashed before
my eyes.
Yeah, really it did.
One of the many things I wasworried about was what would my
life look like as a mom?
(02:31):
I was so used to being on the gowithout having to worry about
anything else.
And I had an idea of what Iwanted to accomplish by certain.
Milestones, and I hadn't doneany of that.
So I was on the panic bus and itfelt like my life was ending.
And you know what?
In a way it was, but I struggledto let it go at the time so that
(02:54):
I could embrace that new seasonof my life.
I thought that now that I'm amom, if I shared that I have
aspirations or did something topursue my dreams, I would be
neglecting my role as a stay athome mom.
And you know what?
I don't even know what createdthat narrative in my mind..
I also didn't know it then, butthat was also mon guilt as a
(03:16):
tiny little seed, which grewinto bigger things.
But out of that tiny littleunwelcome seed, I remember doubt
and fear slowly starting to takeover admittedly, it took a long
time for me to finally figureout this one truth, and that is
fear is not from God.
(03:36):
Now let's be clear aboutsomething.
The kind of fear that keeps youfrom drawing close to God or
stepping into the work that he'scalled you to.
That's not the kind of fear thatGod wants you to live in.
That's a fear that's rooted inlies.
And it often stems from momguilt.
It tells you that you're notenough, that you'll fail, and
(03:59):
maybe you should stay where itfeels comfortable and safe.
it'll even make you think thatyou don't have it all figured
out when leading your children.
So the pressure builds up tohurry up and get it all correct,
but there is a healthy kind offear.
And that is the fear of theLord.
this isn't about being scared ofGod.
(04:20):
It's about standing in awe ofhim.
It's the kind of fear that leadsyou to surrender, to obedience,
and to be in deep reverence forhim.
It moves you to want to liverighteously and by making
changes in your life whenconviction comes or when you're
realizing.
Hey, this isn't something that'sokay and I need to do something
(04:44):
about it now, I'll be honestwith you.
It does get pretty uncomfortableand sometimes it feels like
you're being disciplined Eventhough sometimes you're unsure
why?
But see, this isn't somethingfor you to fear and stay away
from.
I truly believe it's actuallysomething for you to lean into
and take as an invitation.
I'm reminded of Proverbs threewhere Solomon tells his son not
(05:07):
to turn away or be afraid ofGod's.
Discipline.
He says, my son do not despisethe Lord's discipline or be
weary of reproof for the Lord.
Reproves, those whom he loves,as a father.
The son in whom he delights.
This verse actually serves as areminder that you and I will
(05:28):
grow.
the more that we pursue arelationship with God.
And that will lead to manychallenges for us.
The closer you get to him, themore the Holy Spirit will
lovingly lead you to change.
And that's part oftransformation.
It's not always easy, and yes,it can feel like you're being
(05:48):
pruned.
It does get painful and it isuncomfortable, but I encourage
you to welcome that because thatis how you will grow.
Now, I know you're probablythinking, Hey, pruning and
disciplining, it sounds likescary stuff.
It sounds like there's so muchtime and energy being put into
that.
I don't know if I want that, butsee, there is comfort in the
(06:09):
discipline.
Which I know you're probablygiving me the side eye thinking
that I'm crazy and saying whatcomfort is there in being
disciplined.
I totally get it'cause itdoesn't sound good at all, But
may I remind you that God'sdiscipline or his pruning, it's
not meant to crush you.
It's not meant to take you down.
(06:30):
It is actually meant to trainyou up.
See Hebrews 1211 says, for themoment.
All discipline seems painfulrather than pleasant, but later
it yields the peaceful fruit ofrighteousness to those who have
been trained by it.
Now for me, that soundsincredibly comforting and I hope
that it does for you.
(06:51):
Imagine going through thispruning season.
That yields peace in the end ofit.
Peaceful fruit of righteousnessAnd it is probably hard to say
yes to or to sift through andendure, or to even challenge mom
guilt lies.
We want peace as moms and assomeone who loves the Lord and
(07:14):
wants to follow Jesus all thedays of her life.
We want to live in holyrighteousness right now.
This to me is something that isso comforting, and I hope that
you find comfort in it too.
And hey, listen, will we get itright every single time?
Absolutely not.
We are moms.
We are forgetful.
(07:35):
We lose our cool and we mess up,but God is not expecting
perfection from you or me.
Jesus has already taken thatburden away from us.
He is the atonement for the debtthat we could never repay.
So, hallelujah, right?
What a huge weight off of ourshoulders.
We don't have to carry theburden of perfection.
(07:58):
We get to take his yoke, whichhe invites us to in Matthew
1129, which says, take my yokeupon you and learn from me.
I am gentle and lowly in heart,and you will find rest for your
souls.
Don't you want something that iseasy and don't you want
(08:19):
something that is going to giveyou rest?
Now, that easy isn't alwaysgoing to be handed to you in a
pretty package with a nice pinkbow on top or whatever color bow
you're thinking about.
For me, it was pink.
That's one of my favoritecolors.
But I'm getting off topic here,so let's rewind back into this
(08:40):
conversation.
And be reminded that Jesus doesgive us the invitation to take
his yolk and we get to walk inthe freedom that he's bought for
us.
So fear that pulls you away fromthe Lord and the work that he's
called you to, that's not fromGod, but the fear of the Lord.
The kind that challenges you togrow and change.
(09:01):
That's the healthy fear's, holySpirit led, and that's the kind
that brings transformation.
God will never shape you usingthe kind of fear that distances
you from him.
Why?
Because he did not give you thespirit of fear, but of power,
love, and self-control.
And that actually came straightfrom two Timothy chapter one,
(09:24):
verse seven.
and that fear that you oftenfeel, that's the one that
whispers you are not enough oryou better not mess this up, or
you have to stay in control ofeverything, or everything will
fall apart.
That's mom guilt talking it'sthe voice that keeps you
(09:48):
restless, that keeps youoverthinking and second guessing
yourself.
and that is what is keeping youchained to fear and doubt.
It is pressuring you to beperfect and to hold it all
together.
So how do you begin to move pastthis unhealthy fear?
Let me share two powerful butsimple ways to start, and then
(10:09):
I'm gonna give you twochallenges and you can do one or
be bold and do both.
So here's the first.
Replace the lie with truththat's backed by scripture.
This will keep you grounded,firm on solid ground when
everything feels shaky.
Take your time with it.
(10:30):
Read that truth slowly and comeback to it as often as you need
to.
This isn't a one and done fix.
It is a habit.
It's going to be a new rhythm oftraining for your mind and your
heart to run to the Lord first,especially when your thoughts
start spiraling out of control.
(10:51):
If you're not sure where tostart, begin with the verses
that I shared with you today, myfriend.
I will link them in the shownotes for you.
Now for the second challenge,and this one is going to take a
little bit more time, but Ihighly recommend that you do
this one with intention.
If you choose to, I want you toread around the verse that
(11:12):
you've chosen to replace thelie.
Don't just grab one line, butread the chapter or read
surrounding verses for context.
This helps you get a fullerpicture of what God is saying.
it roots your understandingdeeper and builds your
confidence in applying his wordinto your life.
(11:35):
Now, mama, as we wrap up thisconversation, let's recap all
that we talked about, because Iwant you to walk away feeling
refreshed, strong, andconfident.
Remember that.
Fear that pulls you away fromGod and the work that he's
called you to is not from God,but the fear of the Lord.
That deep awe in reverence ofhim, that's the kind that
(11:56):
transform you.
He's not expecting or asking forperfection.
Jesus has filled that gap foryou.
take Jesus up on his offer andaccept the invitation to take
his yoke upon you.
The fear that keeps you stuckand feeling overwhelmed is
rooted in lies, fueled by mom,guilt.
But God does not give you thespirit of fear, my friend.
(12:18):
He gives you the spirit ofpower, love, and self-control,
which by the way comes from him,right?
It all points back to him.
And then finally we talked abouthow you can move forward, and
that is replacing the lies thatyou tell yourself with truth
backed by scripture.
Read it slow and come back to itas often as you need to.
(12:39):
that way you build up the habitsof going to God first.
And then finally, if you havethe extra time or want to
challenge yourself even more,read around the verse that
you've chosen for a deepercontext.
It will help you root yourunderstanding in him and his
words even more.
I know it can be hard to stepout with courage and be bold as
you navigate through mom guilt,but my friend, you can do hard
(13:01):
things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
(13:24):
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you on top of that.
If you want to connect evenmore, join the insider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on The link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
(13:44):
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
You know, the kind of fear thatkeeps you stuck, the kind that
whispers you are not goodenough, and it makes you
question your decisions,especially as a mom.
It makes you wonder if you'redoing the right thing and you
find yourself going in circles.
What if I told you that thosethoughts are not from God?
(00:20):
It's actually fear fueled bymom.
Guilt.
In today's conversation, I'mbreaking down how to push
through fear and self-doubt withbold confidence that comes from
trusting God even when it'shard, let's dive in.
(00:41):
Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
(01:03):
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
Okay, picture this.
You finally have a group ofladies that understand your
problems as a mom who struggleswith mom guilt, and then they
rally around you and help youalong the way as you partner
(01:26):
with God through it all.
Doesn't that sound amazing?
If you didn't already know, Ihave a free community where
that's exactly what's happening.
We're all in different seasonsas a mom, but there's one thing
we have in common.
Well, let me stop there.
There's actually two things wehave in common.
The first one is that we are allworking through mom guilt, and
(01:48):
the second one is our love forGod.
And every single one of them aretaking it one baby step at a
time to challenge the lies thatMom guilts can tell you, come
and join us.
My friend there is.
Biblical encouragement there foryou as well as fun challenges
and you get to make new friendsalong the way.
It's incredibly fun and thoseladies are just absolutely
(02:11):
amazing.
The link to join is in the shownotes.
I can't wait to see you there sothat we can begin this journey
together.
When I found out I was gonna bea mama, my life flashed before
my eyes.
Yeah, really it did.
One of the many things I wasworried about was what would my
life look like as a mom?
(02:31):
I was so used to being on the gowithout having to worry about
anything else.
And I had an idea of what Iwanted to accomplish by certain.
Milestones, and I hadn't doneany of that.
So I was on the panic bus and itfelt like my life was ending.
And you know what?
In a way it was, but I struggledto let it go at the time so that
(02:54):
I could embrace that new seasonof my life.
I thought that now that I'm amom, if I shared that I have
aspirations or did something topursue my dreams, I would be
neglecting my role as a stay athome mom.
And you know what?
I don't even know what createdthat narrative in my mind..
I also didn't know it then, butthat was also mon guilt as a
(03:16):
tiny little seed, which grewinto bigger things.
But out of that tiny littleunwelcome seed, I remember doubt
and fear slowly starting to takeover admittedly, it took a long
time for me to finally figureout this one truth, and that is
fear is not from God.
(03:36):
Now let's be clear aboutsomething.
The kind of fear that keeps youfrom drawing close to God or
stepping into the work that he'scalled you to.
That's not the kind of fear thatGod wants you to live in.
That's a fear that's rooted inlies.
And it often stems from momguilt.
It tells you that you're notenough, that you'll fail, and
(03:59):
maybe you should stay where itfeels comfortable and safe.
it'll even make you think thatyou don't have it all figured
out when leading your children.
So the pressure builds up tohurry up and get it all correct,
but there is a healthy kind offear.
And that is the fear of theLord.
this isn't about being scared ofGod.
(04:20):
It's about standing in awe ofhim.
It's the kind of fear that leadsyou to surrender, to obedience,
and to be in deep reverence forhim.
It moves you to want to liverighteously and by making
changes in your life whenconviction comes or when you're
realizing.
Hey, this isn't something that'sokay and I need to do something
(04:44):
about it now, I'll be honestwith you.
It does get pretty uncomfortableand sometimes it feels like
you're being disciplined Eventhough sometimes you're unsure
why?
But see, this isn't somethingfor you to fear and stay away
from.
I truly believe it's actuallysomething for you to lean into
and take as an invitation.
I'm reminded of Proverbs threewhere Solomon tells his son not
(05:07):
to turn away or be afraid ofGod's.
Discipline.
He says, my son do not despisethe Lord's discipline or be
weary of reproof for the Lord.
Reproves, those whom he loves,as a father.
The son in whom he delights.
This verse actually serves as areminder that you and I will
(05:28):
grow.
the more that we pursue arelationship with God.
And that will lead to manychallenges for us.
The closer you get to him, themore the Holy Spirit will
lovingly lead you to change.
And that's part oftransformation.
It's not always easy, and yes,it can feel like you're being
(05:48):
pruned.
It does get painful and it isuncomfortable, but I encourage
you to welcome that because thatis how you will grow.
Now, I know you're probablythinking, Hey, pruning and
disciplining, it sounds likescary stuff.
It sounds like there's so muchtime and energy being put into
that.
I don't know if I want that, butsee, there is comfort in the
(06:09):
discipline.
Which I know you're probablygiving me the side eye thinking
that I'm crazy and saying whatcomfort is there in being
disciplined.
I totally get it'cause itdoesn't sound good at all, But
may I remind you that God'sdiscipline or his pruning, it's
not meant to crush you.
It's not meant to take you down.
(06:30):
It is actually meant to trainyou up.
See Hebrews 1211 says, for themoment.
All discipline seems painfulrather than pleasant, but later
it yields the peaceful fruit ofrighteousness to those who have
been trained by it.
Now for me, that soundsincredibly comforting and I hope
that it does for you.
(06:51):
Imagine going through thispruning season.
That yields peace in the end ofit.
Peaceful fruit of righteousnessAnd it is probably hard to say
yes to or to sift through andendure, or to even challenge mom
guilt lies.
We want peace as moms and assomeone who loves the Lord and
(07:14):
wants to follow Jesus all thedays of her life.
We want to live in holyrighteousness right now.
This to me is something that isso comforting, and I hope that
you find comfort in it too.
And hey, listen, will we get itright every single time?
Absolutely not.
We are moms.
We are forgetful.
(07:35):
We lose our cool and we mess up,but God is not expecting
perfection from you or me.
Jesus has already taken thatburden away from us.
He is the atonement for the debtthat we could never repay.
So, hallelujah, right?
What a huge weight off of ourshoulders.
We don't have to carry theburden of perfection.
(07:58):
We get to take his yoke, whichhe invites us to in Matthew
1129, which says, take my yokeupon you and learn from me.
I am gentle and lowly in heart,and you will find rest for your
souls.
Don't you want something that iseasy and don't you want
(08:19):
something that is going to giveyou rest?
Now, that easy isn't alwaysgoing to be handed to you in a
pretty package with a nice pinkbow on top or whatever color bow
you're thinking about.
For me, it was pink.
That's one of my favoritecolors.
But I'm getting off topic here,so let's rewind back into this
(08:40):
conversation.
And be reminded that Jesus doesgive us the invitation to take
his yolk and we get to walk inthe freedom that he's bought for
us.
So fear that pulls you away fromthe Lord and the work that he's
called you to, that's not fromGod, but the fear of the Lord.
The kind that challenges you togrow and change.
(09:01):
That's the healthy fear's, holySpirit led, and that's the kind
that brings transformation.
God will never shape you usingthe kind of fear that distances
you from him.
Why?
Because he did not give you thespirit of fear, but of power,
love, and self-control.
And that actually came straightfrom two Timothy chapter one,
(09:24):
verse seven.
and that fear that you oftenfeel, that's the one that
whispers you are not enough oryou better not mess this up, or
you have to stay in control ofeverything, or everything will
fall apart.
That's mom guilt talking it'sthe voice that keeps you
(09:48):
restless, that keeps youoverthinking and second guessing
yourself.
and that is what is keeping youchained to fear and doubt.
It is pressuring you to beperfect and to hold it all
together.
So how do you begin to move pastthis unhealthy fear?
Let me share two powerful butsimple ways to start, and then
(10:09):
I'm gonna give you twochallenges and you can do one or
be bold and do both.
So here's the first.
Replace the lie with truththat's backed by scripture.
This will keep you grounded,firm on solid ground when
everything feels shaky.
Take your time with it.
(10:30):
Read that truth slowly and comeback to it as often as you need
to.
This isn't a one and done fix.
It is a habit.
It's going to be a new rhythm oftraining for your mind and your
heart to run to the Lord first,especially when your thoughts
start spiraling out of control.
(10:51):
If you're not sure where tostart, begin with the verses
that I shared with you today, myfriend.
I will link them in the shownotes for you.
Now for the second challenge,and this one is going to take a
little bit more time, but Ihighly recommend that you do
this one with intention.
If you choose to, I want you toread around the verse that
(11:12):
you've chosen to replace thelie.
Don't just grab one line, butread the chapter or read
surrounding verses for context.
This helps you get a fullerpicture of what God is saying.
it roots your understandingdeeper and builds your
confidence in applying his wordinto your life.
(11:35):
Now, mama, as we wrap up thisconversation, let's recap all
that we talked about, because Iwant you to walk away feeling
refreshed, strong, andconfident.
Remember that.
Fear that pulls you away fromGod and the work that he's
called you to is not from God,but the fear of the Lord.
That deep awe in reverence ofhim, that's the kind that
(11:56):
transform you.
He's not expecting or asking forperfection.
Jesus has filled that gap foryou.
take Jesus up on his offer andaccept the invitation to take
his yoke upon you.
The fear that keeps you stuckand feeling overwhelmed is
rooted in lies, fueled by mom,guilt.
But God does not give you thespirit of fear, my friend.
(12:18):
He gives you the spirit ofpower, love, and self-control,
which by the way comes from him,right?
It all points back to him.
And then finally we talked abouthow you can move forward, and
that is replacing the lies thatyou tell yourself with truth
backed by scripture.
Read it slow and come back to itas often as you need to.
(12:39):
that way you build up the habitsof going to God first.
And then finally, if you havethe extra time or want to
challenge yourself even more,read around the verse that
you've chosen for a deepercontext.
It will help you root yourunderstanding in him and his
words even more.
I know it can be hard to stepout with courage and be bold as
you navigate through mom guilt,but my friend, you can do hard
(13:01):
things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
(13:24):
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you on top of that.
If you want to connect evenmore, join the insider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on The link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
(13:44):
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
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