May 14, 2025 • 19 mins
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Hey Mama!
Ever feel like taking time for yourself means you're failing your family? What if self-care isn’t selfish, but actually essential?
In today’s episode, we’re exploring what it means to redefine self-care through a faith-filled lens—one that aligns with your calling as a mom and honors God in the process. Let’s break free from guilt, perfectionism, and the pressure to do it all, and instead embrace a mindset that allows you to care for yourself without compromise.
Your well-being matters—not just for you, but for the ones God has called you to care for. Tune in and be reminded that self-care done God’s way is not a luxury—it’s obedience. Ready? Let's dive in!
Biggest Takeaways:
- A biblical perspective on self-care as stewardship, not indulgence
- How to build rhythms of rest that renew your soul and sustain your purpose
- Practical ways to guard your heart against the distractions of vanity and comparison
Related Episode(s):
114 | Mom Guilt Is Lying To You: Replacing Fear With God's Truth
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Self care can feel selfish as amom, especially when you are
used to putting everyone elsefirst.
So when you finally choose tocare for yourself, that sneaky
mom, guilt voice creeps in andwhispers you are being selfish.
Does that sound familiar?
Today, we're flipping thenarrative.
We're going to see how self-carecan actually be a way to honor
(00:23):
God, serve your family better,and grow deeper in your walk
with him, all without gettingtangled up in guilt or worldly
pressure.
Let's dive in.
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
(00:43):
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
(01:10):
There have been countless timeswhere I was searching for a
community of women who were insimilar seasons that I was in
because I was looking forconnection with mamas who just
simply get it, and I wanted tobe able to have a genuine
friendship with these people.
Something that is actually hardto do and not really talked
(01:31):
about as an adult.
That's why I've created my freecommunity, and I want to invite
you to join myself and the otherincredible mamas who have
partnered with God to challengethe lies.
Mom Guild has many of usbelieving It's an incredible
space for you to make newfriends, have great conversation
(01:52):
And grow your faith so that youcan serve your family without
the overwhelm.
The link to join is in the shownotes.
Mama, I can't wait to see youthere.
Self care used to be a routinethat I pride myself in when I
was in my twenties.
And as I became a mom, it got alot harder for me to make time
(02:12):
for myself.
So what did I do as someone whohas an all or nothing mentality
and also struggles with aperfectionist mindset?
I completely stopped myself-care routine.
And guess what?
That was not the answer eitherbecause I still found myself
forcing this routine to happen.
(02:32):
I didn't know how to findbalance, and I certainly didn't
know what true self-care lookedlike.
I thought it was all aboutpampering sessions that included
hair and nail appointmentsamongst so many other things.
I actually remember feelingguilty for wanting to slip away
for some me time.
(02:53):
And on the other side of that, Iremember feeling frustrated when
I couldn't slip away.
For some me time, it wasn'tuntil I started redefining
self-care that the voice ofguilt started slowly
diminishing, it helped me see itnot as a luxury, but as a
necessary way to refuel so thatI could show up with joy,
(03:13):
strength, and purpose for myfamily.
And that shift made a hugedifference.
That's when I realized maybe theproblems wasn't self-care
itself, but how I saw it.
Which brings me to my firstpoint, and that is to look at
self-care as stewardship.
Stewarding means taking care ofgifts.
God has entrusted to you,including you.
(03:36):
Yes, mama.
Your body, mind, and soul arenot separate from your calling.
As a mom, they're a part of it.
When you care for yourself,you're honoring the one who
created you.
And trust me, self-care God'sway is a heck of a lot better
than self-care any other way,especially the way that I was
(03:57):
doing it.
Now, you might not think aboutthis often, but I really, really
want you to hear me when I saythis.
You are a gift despite whateverstruggles, whatever upbringing
you had and the mistakes thatyou've made, honestly, none of
it makes you any less of abeautiful gift.
So if you have to pause andreflect on that for just a
(04:17):
moment.
As a mom who struggles with momguilt, you often believe the lie
that self-care is selfish.
That taking time away from yourfamily somehow means you're
failing them.
So when you finally do plan amoment for yourself, and it
doesn't happen.
It's understandable that you canbegin to feel frustrated,
(04:38):
disappointed, and maybe eveninvisible.
It begins to feel like everyoneelse's needs comes first and
yours don't really matter atall.
and Sure as moms, you and I, weboth know that life happens,
kids get sick.
Plans, change, emergencies, popup.
That's part of motherhood.
(04:59):
I mean, technically speaking,that's all part of adulting, but
that doesn't erase thedisappointment of having made
time for something importantonly to see it fall through.
One powerful way to shift thatnarrative is to redefine what
self-care looks like.
For many of us, it's easy tothink of self-care as peace and
(05:20):
quiet, or the occasionalpampering sessions once every
few weeks.
And while those things aregreat, may I offer you this
mindset shift Since we'retalking about stewarding and not
spoiling, what if self-carewasn't about escape, but about
sustainability?
What if it wasn't about luxuryto quote, earn, but a rhythm for
(05:44):
you to maintain?
When you start to see self-careas a way to refuel and remain
emotionally, physically, andspiritually available for your
families, it becomes faithfulstewardship, not selfish,
endurance.
Self care does not mean thatyou're being selfish.
It is the lie that many momswrestle with, including myself,
(06:07):
and it's the belief that if yousay no, if you ask for help, or
even if you take five minutes torest, you're failing and you're
falling behind on that neverending to-do list, and then that
whisper of you're doing it allwrong, or you can't rest yet,
you haven't finished everything.
That voice is not from God.
(06:28):
In fact, Jesus invites you torest.
And I'm not talking aboutphysical rest like a nap though.
I think we can all agree thatthose are helpful too.
But what I mean is rest thatcomes from his presence.
Remember that shift we justtalked about, about reframing
what self-care means thatactually begins here with rest
(06:50):
as the foundation.
What if self care isn't aboutspa days or escaping your life,
so to speak, but about creatinga routine that will help sustain
the peace that you're searchingfor when overwhelm comes
crashing in?
What if it's about opening yourBible instead of scrolling on
your phone, admiring someoneelse's life?
(07:11):
Because we've all done that atsome point, right?
Or maybe it's about.
Instead of overthinking, you'retaking a moment to lift those
thoughts and feelings to God inconversation and being very
intentional about being still,or even honestly, just allowing
(07:33):
yourself to feel those emotionsso that you can release it and
lean into God to fill the gapfor you.
And finally, what if it's aboutfinding the good, even in a
messy home?
As I'm talking to you, I'mthinking about this morning, at
the time of this recording.
My kids and I, we woke up latetoday, so I dropped the kids off
(07:54):
late for school, and when I cameback home.
I saw the mess that was leftbehind.
I had to take a deep breath.
My living room looked like atornado, went through it, and my
kitchen, well, there were somemesses for me to clean up there
as well.
It honestly left me feeling alittle bit frustrated and angry
because I knew that I was goingto be behind in my schedule
(08:17):
today.
this moment just reminded methat the enemy, yes, the devil
loves to twist things around andturn good things into shame and
guilt.
but sometimes.
The guilt doesn't come fromoutside at all because we can be
our own worst critics, and thatinternal battle steals the joy
(08:40):
that's inside of you.
It robs you of the rest thatJesus invites you to take,
leading to more exhaustion thateven pampering sessions won't
truly satisfy.
Jesus says in Matthew 1128, cometo me all who labor and are
heavy laden and I will give yourest.
Did you catch that invitation?
(09:01):
Mama, it is in the word come.
He's really not suggesting it atall.
It sounds like a command, right?
He's telling you to bring it allto him.
think of it like this laborspeaks to the pressure that
you're putting on yourself.
So that includes all of theunrealistic expectations, the
belief that you have to hold itall together on your own and so
(09:24):
many other things.
And then heavy laden refers tothe burdens that other people
place on you.
So there might be expectationsfrom family, social media or
even church circles.
And yes, I went there becausethat can happen as well.
However, Jesus actually spokeout against the religious
leaders during his time fordoing just that, piling burdens
(09:48):
on people's backs withoutlifting a finger.
To help.
You can find this in Matthew 23,where he tells the crowd and the
disciples to observe whateverthe scribes and Pharisees tell
them, but not the works thatthey do.
Then he goes on to say that theylay the burdens on people's
shoulders, but they themselvesare not willing to move with
their finger, meaning they'renot willing to help And he even
(10:11):
went as far as saying that theydo their deeds so that others
can see I mean, Jesus wascalling them out.
Right.
But it is such a good read, andif you haven't read it, I would
highly recommend that you take amoment and read, the entirety of
Chapter 23 in Matthew, becausewhile it's.
Talks about the Pharisees andthe scribes.
(10:31):
In a way, it made me alsoreflect on myself as well, on
the pressure that I put onmyself.
And other people's expectation.
So when Jesus says, come to me,yes, he's offering freedom from
both the pressure you put onyourself and the weight other
people might be placing on yourshoulders.
This means redefining self-careas more than just a bubble bath
(10:53):
and spa days.
When you consider self-carethrough this lens, when you stop
seeing it as an indulgent andstart seeing it as the very
rhythm that keeps you alignedwith God, meaning you're
building habits to support thisrhythm.
That's when you experience therest that renews, not just
recharges, because trueself-care doesn't just focus on
(11:19):
yourself, it magnifies who heis.
So when you begin building yourself care on the foundation of
rest.
True rest, the kind that fillsyour soul.
You start to see thingsdifferently.
You're no longer chasing momentsof escape, which I believe we've
all been there, right at somepoint trying to escape.
(11:41):
Hiding in the bathroom maybe, orin the pantry closet.
And you're learning to live froma place of peace, But even with
that foundation, there issomething else we have to be
careful of.
And that is distraction.
Because just as rest can refillyou, distractions can easily
drain you.
And one of the biggestdistractions, especially in
(12:01):
today's world is the pulltowards appearance.
So I want you to guard againstvanity and distraction.
If I'm being honest, many mamasstruggle with this as well.
so if you're stuck in thedistraction of appearances, you
are not alone.
I've even let outwardappearances or the chase of
perfection distract me from trueself care and.
(12:25):
What it really means, and I'llbe honest, it is still something
that I have to be mindful of,especially as I learn to embrace
my body as it's changingthroughout the years a way that
I can't control it.
And I'm being honest with youabout this, because I know that
it can be incredibly hardbecause when we focus too much
on the external, we risk fallinginto the trap of idoltary
(12:48):
idolizing how we look, ourroutines, or even how well we
appear to have it all together.
And I have fallen into all ofthose categories At one point,
idolizing how I look in myoutfit.
I wanted to portray myself acertain way or look like I had
it all together.
I was so prideful in my routinesthat I've set that when.
My routines were no longerworking for me.
(13:10):
I didn't know what to do, and Iwanted to have this picture
perfect outward appearance.
Honestly, it caused so much morestress than I could ever have
imagined.
The world tells us thatself-worth is measured by what
we see in the mirror or thethings that we do and have, but.
(13:30):
God's good and awesome workreminds us that he looks at our
hearts, and you can find this inone Samuel chapter 16, verse
seven, it says, but the Lordsaid to Samuel, do not look on
his appearance or on the heightof his statue because I have
rejected him.
For the Lord sees not as mansee's, man looks on the outward
(13:52):
appearance, but the Lord lookson the heart.
And there you have it.
I really like this because itsets a reminder that our outward
appearances, whether it be ourhair, nails, makeup, whatever it
is that makes us feel puttogether, it doesn't tell the
whole story because the heart inwhich the scripture is referred
to is the person's spirituallife, including the emotions and
(14:17):
the.
Intention behind the reason whywe're doing something.
And so it just makes you want toask yourself, at least, I hope
it makes you want to askyourself, what are the
intentions I.
Of my self-care routine?
Is it something that brings mejoy and peace, or is it
something that I'm feelingfrustrated about?
(14:38):
And is this a time for me toreframe that mindset of what
self-care could look like?
Because Mama, I want to remindyou that your value is not found
and flawless.
Skin perfect outfits, or even aPinterest worthy routine, your
value is found in Christ.
And yes, it would be so good ifwe had all of these things, but
(15:00):
if they're not there, then Iwant you to be able to have that
peace of mind knowing that it'sgoing to be okay.
because our outward appearanceis not as important as what's
happening internally with us NowI really want to put this out
there because I don't want it tosound like I'm totally against
outward appearance.
There is nothing wrong withpampering sessions.
(15:22):
They absolutely have their timeand place, and when they do
happen, enjoy them mama.
Don't let mom guilt stop youfrom taking those moments.
But don't let it stop thereeither.
The goal isn't just occasionalcomfort.
It's sustainable care that keepsJesus at the center.
It means asking questions andreflecting on things that truly
(15:46):
refuels you or what keeps yourheart anchored and your mind at
peace.
A great way to do that is tostart by shifting your focus and
rooting yourself in truth bychoosing practices or really
habits that nurture your mind.
Your heart and soul, not justyour appearance.
(16:07):
This might mean that you'respending time in the word
instead of scrolling on socialmedia when you wake up in the
morning.
Maybe it's about taking a coupleof minutes to greet God by
saying, good morning Lord, orthanking him for the rest that
has been received.
Maybe you're taking me up on mychallenge and if you missed it,
I will link that episode in theshow notes.
(16:28):
So guard your heart mama byremembering that beauty fades.
As Proverbs 31 30 tells us,charm is deceptive and beauty is
fleeting, but a woman who fearsthe Lord is to be praised.
Not that you can't be charmingor be beautiful.
But the point is that yourrelationship with God matters.
So much more than your looks,which just goes right back to
(16:51):
one Samuels chapter 16, seven,the verse that I just read,
right?
Isn't that amazing how scriptureis so consistent?
as we're wrapping up, I want tojust quickly recap this
conversation because I know itwas a lot.
We touched on emotions and painpoints that probably felt heavy
(17:11):
in a way and also might havefelt silly that this is a
concern But I really trulywanted to have this conversation
because I know that.
We are struggling in silencewith this.
So, yes, maybe we touched onsomething that was really
emotional or a pain point thatreally felt heavy to you.
And if we did, I really do hopethat this encouraged you.
But to recap, the first pointthat we talked about was
(17:34):
thinking of self-care as a wayof stewarding, and one powerful
way to shift that narrative isto redefine what self-care looks
like.
And then we talked aboutself-care does not mean being
selfish.
This is where we talked aboutMatthew 1128.
So consider self-care throughthis lens of rest so that you
(17:54):
can begin to actually reframewhat self-care looks like.
And then finally, we talkedabout the importance of guarding
against vanity and distraction.
A great way would be to start byshifting your focus and rooting
yourself in truth by choosingpractices or really habits that
nurture your mind, heart, andsoul, not just your appearance.
(18:16):
and like I said earlier, there'snothing wrong with pampering
sessions or to want to feel goodexternally, but to reframe your
mind when it comes to self careis 100% worth it, especially
when it's rooted in God.
It can be hard to make thismindset shift, but Mama, I know
and believe that you can do hardthings.
(18:45):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
(19:09):
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you on top of that.
If you want to connect evenmore, join the insider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on The link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
Self care can feel selfish as amom, especially when you are
used to putting everyone elsefirst.
So when you finally choose tocare for yourself, that sneaky
mom, guilt voice creeps in andwhispers you are being selfish.
Does that sound familiar?
Today, we're flipping thenarrative.
We're going to see how self-carecan actually be a way to honor
(00:23):
God, serve your family better,and grow deeper in your walk
with him, all without gettingtangled up in guilt or worldly
pressure.
Let's dive in.
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
(00:43):
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
(01:10):
There have been countless timeswhere I was searching for a
community of women who were insimilar seasons that I was in
because I was looking forconnection with mamas who just
simply get it, and I wanted tobe able to have a genuine
friendship with these people.
Something that is actually hardto do and not really talked
(01:31):
about as an adult.
That's why I've created my freecommunity, and I want to invite
you to join myself and the otherincredible mamas who have
partnered with God to challengethe lies.
Mom Guild has many of usbelieving It's an incredible
space for you to make newfriends, have great conversation
(01:52):
And grow your faith so that youcan serve your family without
the overwhelm.
The link to join is in the shownotes.
Mama, I can't wait to see youthere.
Self care used to be a routinethat I pride myself in when I
was in my twenties.
And as I became a mom, it got alot harder for me to make time
(02:12):
for myself.
So what did I do as someone whohas an all or nothing mentality
and also struggles with aperfectionist mindset?
I completely stopped myself-care routine.
And guess what?
That was not the answer eitherbecause I still found myself
forcing this routine to happen.
(02:32):
I didn't know how to findbalance, and I certainly didn't
know what true self-care lookedlike.
I thought it was all aboutpampering sessions that included
hair and nail appointmentsamongst so many other things.
I actually remember feelingguilty for wanting to slip away
for some me time.
(02:53):
And on the other side of that, Iremember feeling frustrated when
I couldn't slip away.
For some me time, it wasn'tuntil I started redefining
self-care that the voice ofguilt started slowly
diminishing, it helped me see itnot as a luxury, but as a
necessary way to refuel so thatI could show up with joy,
(03:13):
strength, and purpose for myfamily.
And that shift made a hugedifference.
That's when I realized maybe theproblems wasn't self-care
itself, but how I saw it.
Which brings me to my firstpoint, and that is to look at
self-care as stewardship.
Stewarding means taking care ofgifts.
God has entrusted to you,including you.
(03:36):
Yes, mama.
Your body, mind, and soul arenot separate from your calling.
As a mom, they're a part of it.
When you care for yourself,you're honoring the one who
created you.
And trust me, self-care God'sway is a heck of a lot better
than self-care any other way,especially the way that I was
(03:57):
doing it.
Now, you might not think aboutthis often, but I really, really
want you to hear me when I saythis.
You are a gift despite whateverstruggles, whatever upbringing
you had and the mistakes thatyou've made, honestly, none of
it makes you any less of abeautiful gift.
So if you have to pause andreflect on that for just a
(04:17):
moment.
As a mom who struggles with momguilt, you often believe the lie
that self-care is selfish.
That taking time away from yourfamily somehow means you're
failing them.
So when you finally do plan amoment for yourself, and it
doesn't happen.
It's understandable that you canbegin to feel frustrated,
(04:38):
disappointed, and maybe eveninvisible.
It begins to feel like everyoneelse's needs comes first and
yours don't really matter atall.
and Sure as moms, you and I, weboth know that life happens,
kids get sick.
Plans, change, emergencies, popup.
That's part of motherhood.
(04:59):
I mean, technically speaking,that's all part of adulting, but
that doesn't erase thedisappointment of having made
time for something importantonly to see it fall through.
One powerful way to shift thatnarrative is to redefine what
self-care looks like.
For many of us, it's easy tothink of self-care as peace and
(05:20):
quiet, or the occasionalpampering sessions once every
few weeks.
And while those things aregreat, may I offer you this
mindset shift Since we'retalking about stewarding and not
spoiling, what if self-carewasn't about escape, but about
sustainability?
What if it wasn't about luxuryto quote, earn, but a rhythm for
(05:44):
you to maintain?
When you start to see self-careas a way to refuel and remain
emotionally, physically, andspiritually available for your
families, it becomes faithfulstewardship, not selfish,
endurance.
Self care does not mean thatyou're being selfish.
It is the lie that many momswrestle with, including myself,
(06:07):
and it's the belief that if yousay no, if you ask for help, or
even if you take five minutes torest, you're failing and you're
falling behind on that neverending to-do list, and then that
whisper of you're doing it allwrong, or you can't rest yet,
you haven't finished everything.
That voice is not from God.
(06:28):
In fact, Jesus invites you torest.
And I'm not talking aboutphysical rest like a nap though.
I think we can all agree thatthose are helpful too.
But what I mean is rest thatcomes from his presence.
Remember that shift we justtalked about, about reframing
what self-care means thatactually begins here with rest
(06:50):
as the foundation.
What if self care isn't aboutspa days or escaping your life,
so to speak, but about creatinga routine that will help sustain
the peace that you're searchingfor when overwhelm comes
crashing in?
What if it's about opening yourBible instead of scrolling on
your phone, admiring someoneelse's life?
(07:11):
Because we've all done that atsome point, right?
Or maybe it's about.
Instead of overthinking, you'retaking a moment to lift those
thoughts and feelings to God inconversation and being very
intentional about being still,or even honestly, just allowing
(07:33):
yourself to feel those emotionsso that you can release it and
lean into God to fill the gapfor you.
And finally, what if it's aboutfinding the good, even in a
messy home?
As I'm talking to you, I'mthinking about this morning, at
the time of this recording.
My kids and I, we woke up latetoday, so I dropped the kids off
(07:54):
late for school, and when I cameback home.
I saw the mess that was leftbehind.
I had to take a deep breath.
My living room looked like atornado, went through it, and my
kitchen, well, there were somemesses for me to clean up there
as well.
It honestly left me feeling alittle bit frustrated and angry
because I knew that I was goingto be behind in my schedule
(08:17):
today.
this moment just reminded methat the enemy, yes, the devil
loves to twist things around andturn good things into shame and
guilt.
but sometimes.
The guilt doesn't come fromoutside at all because we can be
our own worst critics, and thatinternal battle steals the joy
(08:40):
that's inside of you.
It robs you of the rest thatJesus invites you to take,
leading to more exhaustion thateven pampering sessions won't
truly satisfy.
Jesus says in Matthew 1128, cometo me all who labor and are
heavy laden and I will give yourest.
Did you catch that invitation?
(09:01):
Mama, it is in the word come.
He's really not suggesting it atall.
It sounds like a command, right?
He's telling you to bring it allto him.
think of it like this laborspeaks to the pressure that
you're putting on yourself.
So that includes all of theunrealistic expectations, the
belief that you have to hold itall together on your own and so
(09:24):
many other things.
And then heavy laden refers tothe burdens that other people
place on you.
So there might be expectationsfrom family, social media or
even church circles.
And yes, I went there becausethat can happen as well.
However, Jesus actually spokeout against the religious
leaders during his time fordoing just that, piling burdens
(09:48):
on people's backs withoutlifting a finger.
To help.
You can find this in Matthew 23,where he tells the crowd and the
disciples to observe whateverthe scribes and Pharisees tell
them, but not the works thatthey do.
Then he goes on to say that theylay the burdens on people's
shoulders, but they themselvesare not willing to move with
their finger, meaning they'renot willing to help And he even
(10:11):
went as far as saying that theydo their deeds so that others
can see I mean, Jesus wascalling them out.
Right.
But it is such a good read, andif you haven't read it, I would
highly recommend that you take amoment and read, the entirety of
Chapter 23 in Matthew, becausewhile it's.
Talks about the Pharisees andthe scribes.
(10:31):
In a way, it made me alsoreflect on myself as well, on
the pressure that I put onmyself.
And other people's expectation.
So when Jesus says, come to me,yes, he's offering freedom from
both the pressure you put onyourself and the weight other
people might be placing on yourshoulders.
This means redefining self-careas more than just a bubble bath
(10:53):
and spa days.
When you consider self-carethrough this lens, when you stop
seeing it as an indulgent andstart seeing it as the very
rhythm that keeps you alignedwith God, meaning you're
building habits to support thisrhythm.
That's when you experience therest that renews, not just
recharges, because trueself-care doesn't just focus on
(11:19):
yourself, it magnifies who heis.
So when you begin building yourself care on the foundation of
rest.
True rest, the kind that fillsyour soul.
You start to see thingsdifferently.
You're no longer chasing momentsof escape, which I believe we've
all been there, right at somepoint trying to escape.
(11:41):
Hiding in the bathroom maybe, orin the pantry closet.
And you're learning to live froma place of peace, But even with
that foundation, there issomething else we have to be
careful of.
And that is distraction.
Because just as rest can refillyou, distractions can easily
drain you.
And one of the biggestdistractions, especially in
(12:01):
today's world is the pulltowards appearance.
So I want you to guard againstvanity and distraction.
If I'm being honest, many mamasstruggle with this as well.
so if you're stuck in thedistraction of appearances, you
are not alone.
I've even let outwardappearances or the chase of
perfection distract me from trueself care and.
(12:25):
What it really means, and I'llbe honest, it is still something
that I have to be mindful of,especially as I learn to embrace
my body as it's changingthroughout the years a way that
I can't control it.
And I'm being honest with youabout this, because I know that
it can be incredibly hardbecause when we focus too much
on the external, we risk fallinginto the trap of idoltary
(12:48):
idolizing how we look, ourroutines, or even how well we
appear to have it all together.
And I have fallen into all ofthose categories At one point,
idolizing how I look in myoutfit.
I wanted to portray myself acertain way or look like I had
it all together.
I was so prideful in my routinesthat I've set that when.
My routines were no longerworking for me.
(13:10):
I didn't know what to do, and Iwanted to have this picture
perfect outward appearance.
Honestly, it caused so much morestress than I could ever have
imagined.
The world tells us thatself-worth is measured by what
we see in the mirror or thethings that we do and have, but.
(13:30):
God's good and awesome workreminds us that he looks at our
hearts, and you can find this inone Samuel chapter 16, verse
seven, it says, but the Lordsaid to Samuel, do not look on
his appearance or on the heightof his statue because I have
rejected him.
For the Lord sees not as mansee's, man looks on the outward
(13:52):
appearance, but the Lord lookson the heart.
And there you have it.
I really like this because itsets a reminder that our outward
appearances, whether it be ourhair, nails, makeup, whatever it
is that makes us feel puttogether, it doesn't tell the
whole story because the heart inwhich the scripture is referred
to is the person's spirituallife, including the emotions and
(14:17):
the.
Intention behind the reason whywe're doing something.
And so it just makes you want toask yourself, at least, I hope
it makes you want to askyourself, what are the
intentions I.
Of my self-care routine?
Is it something that brings mejoy and peace, or is it
something that I'm feelingfrustrated about?
(14:38):
And is this a time for me toreframe that mindset of what
self-care could look like?
Because Mama, I want to remindyou that your value is not found
and flawless.
Skin perfect outfits, or even aPinterest worthy routine, your
value is found in Christ.
And yes, it would be so good ifwe had all of these things, but
(15:00):
if they're not there, then Iwant you to be able to have that
peace of mind knowing that it'sgoing to be okay.
because our outward appearanceis not as important as what's
happening internally with us NowI really want to put this out
there because I don't want it tosound like I'm totally against
outward appearance.
There is nothing wrong withpampering sessions.
(15:22):
They absolutely have their timeand place, and when they do
happen, enjoy them mama.
Don't let mom guilt stop youfrom taking those moments.
But don't let it stop thereeither.
The goal isn't just occasionalcomfort.
It's sustainable care that keepsJesus at the center.
It means asking questions andreflecting on things that truly
(15:46):
refuels you or what keeps yourheart anchored and your mind at
peace.
A great way to do that is tostart by shifting your focus and
rooting yourself in truth bychoosing practices or really
habits that nurture your mind.
Your heart and soul, not justyour appearance.
(16:07):
This might mean that you'respending time in the word
instead of scrolling on socialmedia when you wake up in the
morning.
Maybe it's about taking a coupleof minutes to greet God by
saying, good morning Lord, orthanking him for the rest that
has been received.
Maybe you're taking me up on mychallenge and if you missed it,
I will link that episode in theshow notes.
(16:28):
So guard your heart mama byremembering that beauty fades.
As Proverbs 31 30 tells us,charm is deceptive and beauty is
fleeting, but a woman who fearsthe Lord is to be praised.
Not that you can't be charmingor be beautiful.
But the point is that yourrelationship with God matters.
So much more than your looks,which just goes right back to
(16:51):
one Samuels chapter 16, seven,the verse that I just read,
right?
Isn't that amazing how scriptureis so consistent?
as we're wrapping up, I want tojust quickly recap this
conversation because I know itwas a lot.
We touched on emotions and painpoints that probably felt heavy
(17:11):
in a way and also might havefelt silly that this is a
concern But I really trulywanted to have this conversation
because I know that.
We are struggling in silencewith this.
So, yes, maybe we touched onsomething that was really
emotional or a pain point thatreally felt heavy to you.
And if we did, I really do hopethat this encouraged you.
But to recap, the first pointthat we talked about was
(17:34):
thinking of self-care as a wayof stewarding, and one powerful
way to shift that narrative isto redefine what self-care looks
like.
And then we talked aboutself-care does not mean being
selfish.
This is where we talked aboutMatthew 1128.
So consider self-care throughthis lens of rest so that you
(17:54):
can begin to actually reframewhat self-care looks like.
And then finally, we talkedabout the importance of guarding
against vanity and distraction.
A great way would be to start byshifting your focus and rooting
yourself in truth by choosingpractices or really habits that
nurture your mind, heart, andsoul, not just your appearance.
(18:16):
and like I said earlier, there'snothing wrong with pampering
sessions or to want to feel goodexternally, but to reframe your
mind when it comes to self careis 100% worth it, especially
when it's rooted in God.
It can be hard to make thismindset shift, but Mama, I know
and believe that you can do hardthings.
(18:45):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
(19:09):
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you on top of that.
If you want to connect evenmore, join the insider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on The link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
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