May 21, 2025 • 21 mins
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Hey Mama!
Do you ever feel guilty for caring about how you look—or frustrated by how your body has changed since becoming a mom? You’re not shallow. You’re not vain. You’re a mom navigating real changes with real emotions—and God sees you.
In this grace-filled episode, we’re having an honest conversation about body image, wardrobe stress, and identity for Christian moms. If you’ve ever stood in your closet feeling overwhelmed or looked in the mirror and felt discouraged, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways:
- A biblical perspective on body image and why your worth isn’t tied to your reflection.
- Encouragement for managing wardrobe struggles without shame.
- Practical truth to help you trade mom guilt for confidence rooted in Christ.
More FREE Resources:
FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms
Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider
Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com
Work with me
Book your 1:1 call:- https://calendly.com/restoredmind
Ways You Can Give Back:
Leave A Review On Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-restored-mind-faith-building-self-doubt/id1654768629
I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
The weather is warming up, andif you found yourself standing
in front of your closet lately,overwhelmed by clothes that
don't fit quite right orwondering when your body stopped
feeling like yours, this episodeis for you.
We're talking about wardrobestruggles, and how to walk in
confidence.
Again, not by changing yoursize, but by anchoring your
(00:22):
heart and mind in God's truth.
Let's dive in.
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
(00:46):
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
Looking for a place to grow yourfaith, build real friendships
and be yourself without thepressure to be perfect.
(01:08):
Yeah, me too.
That's why I stopped searchingand created it myself.
Come join my free community.
It's for Christian moms who aretired of the overwhelm it ready
to trade pressure for peace ifyou're craving deeper faith,
authentic connection, andpractical encouragement for your
motherhood journey.
This is your space.
(01:29):
You don't have to do this alone,mama.
So let's grow together.
The link to join is in the shownotes.
See you there.
Before I had kids, I used to beconfident in my appearance.
I mean, I planned my outfits thenight before and made sure I had
matching shoes and accessories.
(01:49):
Some days that meant takingeverything out of the closet to
find the perfect pairing ofitems to create the perfect
outfit.
Now, some would say that's alittle excessive, and when I
look back on those days, I can'thelp but think.
Why?
Why did I spend so much of mytime pairing together items and
(02:12):
wondering what my next outfitwould be?
Because I had this silly rulethat I lived by, which was not
to wear the same things thefollowing week Because there had
to be two weeks in between thoseoutfits for me to wear it again.
Yes.
I know it's ridiculous.
Right.
But it was a rule that I justsomehow lived by.
(02:33):
On top of that, I wouldn't havedared to leave my place without
makeup on, or at least poppingmy false lashes on.
I was so addicted to falselashes that I had backups for my
backups.
Also, spring and summer were myfavorite seasons because maxi
dresses, sandals, and tank topswere some of my favorite pieces
(02:57):
to wear.
As you can probably tell, I hada lot of pride and confidence in
this particular season of mylife, but that all changed and
flipped upside down after I hadmy first baby.
And then more down the road, Istarted to feel like a complete
stranger in my own body clothesthat I once loved didn't fit
(03:20):
right.
I didn't have the time to createthe perfect outfits anymore,,
and my feet literally changed insize.
I mean, I went from a size sixto a seven, and I thought my
feet was pretty narrow, But bythat time I had my third child,
my feet got a little bit wider,and so that was a whole journey
on its own.
(03:40):
In this season, I didn't knowhow to adjust.
I didn't know this new versionof me or even how to dress
myself up in that time, and Ithought that I had lost a piece
of myself and there went myconfidence.
I also struggled to know God inthis season because everything
that once made me feel puttogether no longer worked.
(04:01):
And in the absence of thosethings, I didn't know where my
confidence came from anymore.
I had wrapped so much of myidentity and how I looked that
when that changed.
I felt un anchored.
It wasn't until I startedreframing my body image through
the lens of faith thateverything began to shift.
So let's talk about the pressurethat builds up around our bodies
(04:22):
as mamas, pressure from society,from ourselves, and even
sometimes from the people thatare closest to us.
I still remember the sting thatI felt when a relative made a
comment on my weight just threemonths postpartum after having
my first child.
I don't think that this personmeant to hurt my feelings, but
(04:45):
she also wasn't aware that I wasgoing through so much hormonal
changes.
My body was trying to quote,bounce back, and ultimately her
comment added more pressure forme to try and get back to my
pre-pregnancy size.
'cause I was actually searchingfor validation that I was doing
something right in my physicalappearance.
(05:05):
So it wasn't her fault, Becauseit's not like I was shouting
from the rooftop that I'mstruggling and losing confidence
in my physical appearance.
So there is grace to be giventhere, And I'm sharing this
portion of my story with youbecause these types of pressure,
if you are not mindful and youend up anchoring yourself around
(05:26):
the comments that are made, itis going to bring you a lot of
stress.
It leads to you believing thatyour worth is tied to how you
look, the weight.
That's on the scale and the sizeof your clothes that you once
were compared to what you arenow.
It also breeds the comparisonmindset where you begin to
compare yourself to someone elsemaking you feel even worse.
(05:50):
But here is the truth, and Iwant you to hear me loud and
clear when I say this.
Your worth is not determined bywhat season you are in when it
comes to your physicalappearance.
Your body will fluctuate andchange over the years.
Your worth is set by God, not byyour physical appearance.
(06:14):
A great way to begin releasingthis pressure you might be
feeling is by recognizing whereit's coming from.
So is it coming from acomparison mindset where you're
mindlessly scrolling on socialmedia and you're only paying
attention to the mamas who looklike they are their fittest?
Is it a lie that you startedbelieving?
(06:35):
Is it the resistance of wantingto go up a size when you're
shopping, whatever it is?
When you begin to take intoaccount where the pressure stems
from, it can begin to makemindset shifts and also habit
changes that will positivelychange your outlook.
These habits, by the way, arenot a miracle worker, so it's
(06:55):
not gonna happen overnight, andI don't want you to go into
making these habit changes.
With that in mind, you want tobe consistent in making these
habit changes, whatever theylook like.
If it's not yet doing anythingphysical, it might be that you
are going to start to remove thenegative things that you say
(07:16):
about yourself in your mind.
Put something in the place ofthat as you're working on
building these habits, that isgoing to help give you a more
positive outlook.
In the season.
Again, this habit that you'reworking on, it is not an
overnight fix, but there areplenty of grace to be given
during this time because it is aprocess and it's going to take
(07:37):
time to rewire your mind andmake connections that will push
you towards a more peacefulmind.
And speaking of pressure, whereis the first place this pressure
shows up?
I think most mamas can agreewith me that it is our closet,
right?
How many of you have gone toyour closet and stared at it
(08:01):
thinking you don't have anythingto wear, or you dread going to
your closet?
Because it reminds you of howmuch things have changed in the
last couple of months.
Maybe you're thinking nothingfits and it brings on this
frustration that you haveinternally.
Thoughts like this can beincredibly overwhelming and it
(08:24):
ruins the will to get dressedfor an event or even to run
errands in whatever that lookslike for you.
I have been there and I knowwhat that feels like, where you
would rather just grab somethingthat is comfortable and you're
trying to hide.
Yourself in these clothings butthe desire, the want is to still
(08:44):
feel put together.
And even when you put somethingon that is comfortable and baggy
or whatever that looks like foryou, it still doesn't quite make
you feel a hundred percent.
But I want you to think about itlike this.
See, you are not the same womanyou were before becoming a mom,
Your body went through somethingamazing So give it time and be
(09:06):
patient with the process of youtrying to quote, bounce back
from whatever pressures you'reunder.
Also on top of that, yourpriorities have changed.
Maybe you were able to spend alittle bit more time putting
yourself together and thinkingabout outfits, but you have
littles now and your prioritieshave changed.
It went from focusing on you tofocusing onto your family.
(09:29):
And you know what?
That's okay.
There is balance in all of this.
And a little truth bomb here isthat you might not 100% bounce
back, and that is okay.
Your body is going throughchanges and some of these
changes can be permanent.
Your closet does not define you.
It also should not be where you.
(09:50):
Anchor your confidence in, but Ialso understand the need and
want to feel confident andcomfortable in what you're
wearing because it'll give youthat boost of confidence or that
pep in your step that you'relooking for.
You want to feel pulled togetherand put together.
You wanna feel pretty.
And beautiful, right?
A good way to do that is bymaking space for what actually
(10:11):
fits you right now, one of thebiggest downfall for me was not
knowing how to let go of oldpieces.
That doesn't serve me anymore.
I kept thinking I needed to saveit for when I go back to my
pre-pregnancy size or for when Ilose weight.
And truth be told, when I didlose the weight, some of my old
pieces still did not fit me, andhere's why.
(10:35):
As you have a baby, the babysits in your belly right on top
of your pelvis, and for me, myhips actually extended, and I
was not able to fit into theseclothes anymore.
So it was very disheartening forme because I didn't know how to
let these things go, but thereality was that I wasn't doing
anything that would actually getme to where I wanted to be
(10:57):
because I had an On again, offagain fitness journey.
I also had, changes within mybody that didn't quite go back
to my pre-pregnancy size, andthat left me feeling even worse
when months or years would goby, and these same pieces were
still in my closet staring backat me every time I opened the
door.
It was always a looming thoughtin my mind that.
(11:22):
I had when I would look at thesepieces, and, you know, memories
did appear in my mind of mewearing certain outfits and how
I felt in them, and the thoughtof how I felt in them at the
time would always come back andI would think I would never feel
like this again.
And that wasn't doing me anyfavors.
And also, guess what?
That created.
It created a closet that wasoverly crowded, gave me pressure
(11:46):
that I didn't want, and a falsesense of reality, letting go of
pieces that are not serving youin this moment.
It is such a breath of freshair, I'm telling you right now.
100%.
It's a breath of fresh air.
It creates space for neweritems, removes the pressure of
going back.
To a certain size.
(12:07):
And a little side note here, ifyou are working out or you might
be trying to lose weight orwhatever it is, your body might
actually get bigger due tomuscle growth.
So that also might play a factorinto why some of these old
pieces that you're holding onto.
Might not fit anymore.
So let go of these pieces.
Don't create more stress holdingonto them that isn't working for
(12:28):
you.
You can save them if you wantto.
Like some of the pieces thatmaybe have a little bit more
give to them, you can definitelysave those.
But you have to be the one todecide what pieces you're
letting go of in your closet.
Okay?
But yes, when you let go ofpieces that are not serving you
anymore, just think of it as aweight that's been lifted off
(12:48):
your shoulder.
It is such a wonderful thing.
Which brings me to the lastpoint that I wanna talk about.
I know I shared with you a tipon how to reframe your mind when
it comes to your closet to giveyou more.
Peace instead of panic.
But I want you to remember to goback to your creator because
true confidence doesn't comefrom a perfect body or perfect
(13:12):
outfits.
It comes from a changed heartand mind that knows she belongs
to our father in heaven.
So I want you to know without ashadow of a doubt that you
belong to your father in heaven,and that is where your
confidence should be anchoredin.
As a Christian mom, the goal isnot to idolize your appearance
or to ignore it because.
(13:34):
That's not gonna help either,right?
You want to steward well byanchoring your identity in
Christ.
I talked a little bit aboutstewarding in last week's
episode, so I'll link that inthe show notes for you in case
you missed it.
But when you put your confidencein the world or in your own
flesh or your own body, it canshift depending on the season
(13:55):
that you are in.
And I can tell you fromexperience that when I was at my
fittest, I had the utmost.
True confidence.
At least I thought it was trueconfidence, like my confidence
meter was skyrocketing.
And then after seeing my bodyand how it looked After having
my babies, that was not the bestfeeling in the world.
(14:17):
And my confidence shook.
So even if you're not puttingyour confidence in the world and
you're placing it on yourphysical appearance, it will
shift depending on the seasonthat your body is in, in that
time.
But when confidence is rooted inGod, it's unshakeable.
God does not ask you and I to beflawless.
Right.
We've already talked about thisa couple of times on the
(14:39):
podcast, and I will continue todrill it into your mind, and
you're probably tired of mesaying it, you do not need to be
flawless and you do not need tobe perfect.
He actually tells us that weought to be faithful and love
him above all else.
I think it's fitting torecognize, again, that feeling
(15:00):
put together plays a role inyour confidence.
So it's not about being totallystuck on your appearance or
completely ignoring it, becauseagain, that's not helpful
either.
But Jesus tells us what thegreatest commandment is, which
is in Matthew 22.
Jesus said, you shall love theLord your God with all your
heart and with all your soul,and with all your mind.
(15:23):
So love the Lord your God withall your heart, soul, and mind.
And do you know how hard that isbecause you're wrestling with
yourself chasing the perfectbody.
Chasing confidence that you wantto have so badly that our mind
(15:44):
and our heart is pulled one wayand yet our soul is pulled
another.
It's.
So mind blowing how we can belike this as moms and you know
what, it's okay.
It's normal.
I think the challenge is thatwe're working through it and
it's not going to be perfect.
Right?
But it does propose a challengefor you to check your heart and
your mind and see where it's at.
(16:04):
So this is the greatest in firstcommandment and then he goes on
to say, this is the greatest infirst commandment.
And a second is like it.
You shall love your neighbor asyourself.
So how can you love God, yourneighbor and yourself?
Well first it hopes when youbegin to understand the love of
(16:26):
God, and you do this by spendingtime with him in His word,
through gratitude and not onlysaying, Lord, thank you.
I'm so grateful for my foodtoday, but really putting a name
to that right.
Lord, thank you for this food.
You are a wonderful provider.
Thank you that you sustained me.
He's a sustainer or provider.
(16:48):
He's wonderful.
Use these words to help youbuild a connection with God
through learning about theattributes of him.
What characters do you see inGod as you are going back to
gratitude.
His love is different from oursBecause he loves us beyond our
physical appearance and ourmistakes or flaws.
(17:09):
We have a hard time lovingourselves at times because we
get caught up in all of thethings I talked about today and
more.
When you begin to shift andlearn how to love out of his
outpouring, it changeseverything, including how you
view yourself, especially whenyou begin to have intrusive
thoughts surrounding your bodyimage, When your appearance
(17:31):
becomes an idol, that's when itconsumes your thoughts or
becomes a measure of your value.
This is where things can getslippery because you'll fall
into the comparison mindset and.
Struggle with forgiving yourselffor not quote, bouncing back as
quickly as someone else mighthave.
So yes, take care of yourself.
(17:54):
Your body will change withdifferent seasons, and that's
okay.
You don't have to go out andrepurchase a whole new wardrobe
or use workout as a way topunish yourself.
I've been there too, but you canfind ways to support yourself
with grace.
You can build your closet slowlyas needed, and you can allow
(18:15):
your body the grace to be inprogress and not perfection.
It's okay if your styles evolveor if some of the pieces no
longer fit like they used to.
That doesn't mean that you'vefailed.
Do not let mom guilt or any typeof doubt and guilt make you
think otherwise.
It just means that you'regrowing and yes, we can
(18:37):
physically be growing.
Mentally.
You're growing as well, Which isamazing.
And just like your faith, yourjourney, and your relationship
with your body, it's going totake time.
Patience and love as well.
As you begin to learn to loveyourself from a place of
understanding God's love, you'llstop dressing to impress and
(18:57):
start dressing from a place ofpeace.
And I said earlier, we are tolove God, our neighbor and
ourself.
I have found that most mamas canlove.
Neighbors well, but don't reallyknow how to reciprocate that
love to themself.
And my challenge is, how wouldyou love your neighbor better if
(19:20):
you don't know how to loveyourself?
Because it's only from theoutpouring of God's love that
you would know how to loveyourself.
Therefore, because your cup isfilled, you would then pour that
out over someone.
At least that's just mythinking, but it's something to
give you, something to thinkabout.
Now, I know that we talked abouta lot today, so let's take a
(19:41):
moment to breathe and bring itall together because whether
you're standing in front of yourcloset, unsure of what fits,
feeling disconnected from yourbody, or just longing to feel
like you again, I want you toremember this.
Recognize the pressure and whereit's coming from.
Your worth is not in your weightor your wardrobe.
(20:05):
Reframe your closet as a placeof peace and not of panic.
So let go of what no longer fitsand make room for grace and
newer items when needed or whennecessary, and finally, come
back to your creator.
True confidence starts in yourheart and in your mind.
(20:25):
That's the transformation thatis going to happen when you
anchor yourself to him.
It is not in the mirror or inyour closet.
It can be hard to love yourselfand be at peace when you're
thinking about your body imageand how it's changed and it's so
easy to pick at all of the flawsthat you see.
(20:47):
It's a lot harder to learn tolove yourself in the way that
God loves you, but I know andbelieve that you can do hard
things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
(21:08):
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you If you want to
connect even more, join theinsider's list.
(21:30):
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on the link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
The weather is warming up, andif you found yourself standing
in front of your closet lately,overwhelmed by clothes that
don't fit quite right orwondering when your body stopped
feeling like yours, this episodeis for you.
We're talking about wardrobestruggles, and how to walk in
confidence.
Again, not by changing yoursize, but by anchoring your
(00:22):
heart and mind in God's truth.
Let's dive in.
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
(00:46):
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
Looking for a place to grow yourfaith, build real friendships
and be yourself without thepressure to be perfect.
(01:08):
Yeah, me too.
That's why I stopped searchingand created it myself.
Come join my free community.
It's for Christian moms who aretired of the overwhelm it ready
to trade pressure for peace ifyou're craving deeper faith,
authentic connection, andpractical encouragement for your
motherhood journey.
This is your space.
(01:29):
You don't have to do this alone,mama.
So let's grow together.
The link to join is in the shownotes.
See you there.
Before I had kids, I used to beconfident in my appearance.
I mean, I planned my outfits thenight before and made sure I had
matching shoes and accessories.
(01:49):
Some days that meant takingeverything out of the closet to
find the perfect pairing ofitems to create the perfect
outfit.
Now, some would say that's alittle excessive, and when I
look back on those days, I can'thelp but think.
Why?
Why did I spend so much of mytime pairing together items and
(02:12):
wondering what my next outfitwould be?
Because I had this silly rulethat I lived by, which was not
to wear the same things thefollowing week Because there had
to be two weeks in between thoseoutfits for me to wear it again.
Yes.
I know it's ridiculous.
Right.
But it was a rule that I justsomehow lived by.
(02:33):
On top of that, I wouldn't havedared to leave my place without
makeup on, or at least poppingmy false lashes on.
I was so addicted to falselashes that I had backups for my
backups.
Also, spring and summer were myfavorite seasons because maxi
dresses, sandals, and tank topswere some of my favorite pieces
(02:57):
to wear.
As you can probably tell, I hada lot of pride and confidence in
this particular season of mylife, but that all changed and
flipped upside down after I hadmy first baby.
And then more down the road, Istarted to feel like a complete
stranger in my own body clothesthat I once loved didn't fit
(03:20):
right.
I didn't have the time to createthe perfect outfits anymore,,
and my feet literally changed insize.
I mean, I went from a size sixto a seven, and I thought my
feet was pretty narrow, But bythat time I had my third child,
my feet got a little bit wider,and so that was a whole journey
on its own.
(03:40):
In this season, I didn't knowhow to adjust.
I didn't know this new versionof me or even how to dress
myself up in that time, and Ithought that I had lost a piece
of myself and there went myconfidence.
I also struggled to know God inthis season because everything
that once made me feel puttogether no longer worked.
(04:01):
And in the absence of thosethings, I didn't know where my
confidence came from anymore.
I had wrapped so much of myidentity and how I looked that
when that changed.
I felt un anchored.
It wasn't until I startedreframing my body image through
the lens of faith thateverything began to shift.
So let's talk about the pressurethat builds up around our bodies
(04:22):
as mamas, pressure from society,from ourselves, and even
sometimes from the people thatare closest to us.
I still remember the sting thatI felt when a relative made a
comment on my weight just threemonths postpartum after having
my first child.
I don't think that this personmeant to hurt my feelings, but
(04:45):
she also wasn't aware that I wasgoing through so much hormonal
changes.
My body was trying to quote,bounce back, and ultimately her
comment added more pressure forme to try and get back to my
pre-pregnancy size.
'cause I was actually searchingfor validation that I was doing
something right in my physicalappearance.
(05:05):
So it wasn't her fault, Becauseit's not like I was shouting
from the rooftop that I'mstruggling and losing confidence
in my physical appearance.
So there is grace to be giventhere, And I'm sharing this
portion of my story with youbecause these types of pressure,
if you are not mindful and youend up anchoring yourself around
(05:26):
the comments that are made, itis going to bring you a lot of
stress.
It leads to you believing thatyour worth is tied to how you
look, the weight.
That's on the scale and the sizeof your clothes that you once
were compared to what you arenow.
It also breeds the comparisonmindset where you begin to
compare yourself to someone elsemaking you feel even worse.
(05:50):
But here is the truth, and Iwant you to hear me loud and
clear when I say this.
Your worth is not determined bywhat season you are in when it
comes to your physicalappearance.
Your body will fluctuate andchange over the years.
Your worth is set by God, not byyour physical appearance.
(06:14):
A great way to begin releasingthis pressure you might be
feeling is by recognizing whereit's coming from.
So is it coming from acomparison mindset where you're
mindlessly scrolling on socialmedia and you're only paying
attention to the mamas who looklike they are their fittest?
Is it a lie that you startedbelieving?
(06:35):
Is it the resistance of wantingto go up a size when you're
shopping, whatever it is?
When you begin to take intoaccount where the pressure stems
from, it can begin to makemindset shifts and also habit
changes that will positivelychange your outlook.
These habits, by the way, arenot a miracle worker, so it's
(06:55):
not gonna happen overnight, andI don't want you to go into
making these habit changes.
With that in mind, you want tobe consistent in making these
habit changes, whatever theylook like.
If it's not yet doing anythingphysical, it might be that you
are going to start to remove thenegative things that you say
(07:16):
about yourself in your mind.
Put something in the place ofthat as you're working on
building these habits, that isgoing to help give you a more
positive outlook.
In the season.
Again, this habit that you'reworking on, it is not an
overnight fix, but there areplenty of grace to be given
during this time because it is aprocess and it's going to take
(07:37):
time to rewire your mind andmake connections that will push
you towards a more peacefulmind.
And speaking of pressure, whereis the first place this pressure
shows up?
I think most mamas can agreewith me that it is our closet,
right?
How many of you have gone toyour closet and stared at it
(08:01):
thinking you don't have anythingto wear, or you dread going to
your closet?
Because it reminds you of howmuch things have changed in the
last couple of months.
Maybe you're thinking nothingfits and it brings on this
frustration that you haveinternally.
Thoughts like this can beincredibly overwhelming and it
(08:24):
ruins the will to get dressedfor an event or even to run
errands in whatever that lookslike for you.
I have been there and I knowwhat that feels like, where you
would rather just grab somethingthat is comfortable and you're
trying to hide.
Yourself in these clothings butthe desire, the want is to still
(08:44):
feel put together.
And even when you put somethingon that is comfortable and baggy
or whatever that looks like foryou, it still doesn't quite make
you feel a hundred percent.
But I want you to think about itlike this.
See, you are not the same womanyou were before becoming a mom,
Your body went through somethingamazing So give it time and be
(09:06):
patient with the process of youtrying to quote, bounce back
from whatever pressures you'reunder.
Also on top of that, yourpriorities have changed.
Maybe you were able to spend alittle bit more time putting
yourself together and thinkingabout outfits, but you have
littles now and your prioritieshave changed.
It went from focusing on you tofocusing onto your family.
(09:29):
And you know what?
That's okay.
There is balance in all of this.
And a little truth bomb here isthat you might not 100% bounce
back, and that is okay.
Your body is going throughchanges and some of these
changes can be permanent.
Your closet does not define you.
It also should not be where you.
(09:50):
Anchor your confidence in, but Ialso understand the need and
want to feel confident andcomfortable in what you're
wearing because it'll give youthat boost of confidence or that
pep in your step that you'relooking for.
You want to feel pulled togetherand put together.
You wanna feel pretty.
And beautiful, right?
A good way to do that is bymaking space for what actually
(10:11):
fits you right now, one of thebiggest downfall for me was not
knowing how to let go of oldpieces.
That doesn't serve me anymore.
I kept thinking I needed to saveit for when I go back to my
pre-pregnancy size or for when Ilose weight.
And truth be told, when I didlose the weight, some of my old
pieces still did not fit me, andhere's why.
(10:35):
As you have a baby, the babysits in your belly right on top
of your pelvis, and for me, myhips actually extended, and I
was not able to fit into theseclothes anymore.
So it was very disheartening forme because I didn't know how to
let these things go, but thereality was that I wasn't doing
anything that would actually getme to where I wanted to be
(10:57):
because I had an On again, offagain fitness journey.
I also had, changes within mybody that didn't quite go back
to my pre-pregnancy size, andthat left me feeling even worse
when months or years would goby, and these same pieces were
still in my closet staring backat me every time I opened the
door.
It was always a looming thoughtin my mind that.
(11:22):
I had when I would look at thesepieces, and, you know, memories
did appear in my mind of mewearing certain outfits and how
I felt in them, and the thoughtof how I felt in them at the
time would always come back andI would think I would never feel
like this again.
And that wasn't doing me anyfavors.
And also, guess what?
That created.
It created a closet that wasoverly crowded, gave me pressure
(11:46):
that I didn't want, and a falsesense of reality, letting go of
pieces that are not serving youin this moment.
It is such a breath of freshair, I'm telling you right now.
100%.
It's a breath of fresh air.
It creates space for neweritems, removes the pressure of
going back.
To a certain size.
(12:07):
And a little side note here, ifyou are working out or you might
be trying to lose weight orwhatever it is, your body might
actually get bigger due tomuscle growth.
So that also might play a factorinto why some of these old
pieces that you're holding onto.
Might not fit anymore.
So let go of these pieces.
Don't create more stress holdingonto them that isn't working for
(12:28):
you.
You can save them if you wantto.
Like some of the pieces thatmaybe have a little bit more
give to them, you can definitelysave those.
But you have to be the one todecide what pieces you're
letting go of in your closet.
Okay?
But yes, when you let go ofpieces that are not serving you
anymore, just think of it as aweight that's been lifted off
(12:48):
your shoulder.
It is such a wonderful thing.
Which brings me to the lastpoint that I wanna talk about.
I know I shared with you a tipon how to reframe your mind when
it comes to your closet to giveyou more.
Peace instead of panic.
But I want you to remember to goback to your creator because
true confidence doesn't comefrom a perfect body or perfect
(13:12):
outfits.
It comes from a changed heartand mind that knows she belongs
to our father in heaven.
So I want you to know without ashadow of a doubt that you
belong to your father in heaven,and that is where your
confidence should be anchoredin.
As a Christian mom, the goal isnot to idolize your appearance
or to ignore it because.
(13:34):
That's not gonna help either,right?
You want to steward well byanchoring your identity in
Christ.
I talked a little bit aboutstewarding in last week's
episode, so I'll link that inthe show notes for you in case
you missed it.
But when you put your confidencein the world or in your own
flesh or your own body, it canshift depending on the season
(13:55):
that you are in.
And I can tell you fromexperience that when I was at my
fittest, I had the utmost.
True confidence.
At least I thought it was trueconfidence, like my confidence
meter was skyrocketing.
And then after seeing my bodyand how it looked After having
my babies, that was not the bestfeeling in the world.
(14:17):
And my confidence shook.
So even if you're not puttingyour confidence in the world and
you're placing it on yourphysical appearance, it will
shift depending on the seasonthat your body is in, in that
time.
But when confidence is rooted inGod, it's unshakeable.
God does not ask you and I to beflawless.
Right.
We've already talked about thisa couple of times on the
(14:39):
podcast, and I will continue todrill it into your mind, and
you're probably tired of mesaying it, you do not need to be
flawless and you do not need tobe perfect.
He actually tells us that weought to be faithful and love
him above all else.
I think it's fitting torecognize, again, that feeling
(15:00):
put together plays a role inyour confidence.
So it's not about being totallystuck on your appearance or
completely ignoring it, becauseagain, that's not helpful
either.
But Jesus tells us what thegreatest commandment is, which
is in Matthew 22.
Jesus said, you shall love theLord your God with all your
heart and with all your soul,and with all your mind.
(15:23):
So love the Lord your God withall your heart, soul, and mind.
And do you know how hard that isbecause you're wrestling with
yourself chasing the perfectbody.
Chasing confidence that you wantto have so badly that our mind
(15:44):
and our heart is pulled one wayand yet our soul is pulled
another.
It's.
So mind blowing how we can belike this as moms and you know
what, it's okay.
It's normal.
I think the challenge is thatwe're working through it and
it's not going to be perfect.
Right?
But it does propose a challengefor you to check your heart and
your mind and see where it's at.
(16:04):
So this is the greatest in firstcommandment and then he goes on
to say, this is the greatest infirst commandment.
And a second is like it.
You shall love your neighbor asyourself.
So how can you love God, yourneighbor and yourself?
Well first it hopes when youbegin to understand the love of
(16:26):
God, and you do this by spendingtime with him in His word,
through gratitude and not onlysaying, Lord, thank you.
I'm so grateful for my foodtoday, but really putting a name
to that right.
Lord, thank you for this food.
You are a wonderful provider.
Thank you that you sustained me.
He's a sustainer or provider.
(16:48):
He's wonderful.
Use these words to help youbuild a connection with God
through learning about theattributes of him.
What characters do you see inGod as you are going back to
gratitude.
His love is different from oursBecause he loves us beyond our
physical appearance and ourmistakes or flaws.
(17:09):
We have a hard time lovingourselves at times because we
get caught up in all of thethings I talked about today and
more.
When you begin to shift andlearn how to love out of his
outpouring, it changeseverything, including how you
view yourself, especially whenyou begin to have intrusive
thoughts surrounding your bodyimage, When your appearance
(17:31):
becomes an idol, that's when itconsumes your thoughts or
becomes a measure of your value.
This is where things can getslippery because you'll fall
into the comparison mindset and.
Struggle with forgiving yourselffor not quote, bouncing back as
quickly as someone else mighthave.
So yes, take care of yourself.
(17:54):
Your body will change withdifferent seasons, and that's
okay.
You don't have to go out andrepurchase a whole new wardrobe
or use workout as a way topunish yourself.
I've been there too, but you canfind ways to support yourself
with grace.
You can build your closet slowlyas needed, and you can allow
(18:15):
your body the grace to be inprogress and not perfection.
It's okay if your styles evolveor if some of the pieces no
longer fit like they used to.
That doesn't mean that you'vefailed.
Do not let mom guilt or any typeof doubt and guilt make you
think otherwise.
It just means that you'regrowing and yes, we can
(18:37):
physically be growing.
Mentally.
You're growing as well, Which isamazing.
And just like your faith, yourjourney, and your relationship
with your body, it's going totake time.
Patience and love as well.
As you begin to learn to loveyourself from a place of
understanding God's love, you'llstop dressing to impress and
(18:57):
start dressing from a place ofpeace.
And I said earlier, we are tolove God, our neighbor and
ourself.
I have found that most mamas canlove.
Neighbors well, but don't reallyknow how to reciprocate that
love to themself.
And my challenge is, how wouldyou love your neighbor better if
(19:20):
you don't know how to loveyourself?
Because it's only from theoutpouring of God's love that
you would know how to loveyourself.
Therefore, because your cup isfilled, you would then pour that
out over someone.
At least that's just mythinking, but it's something to
give you, something to thinkabout.
Now, I know that we talked abouta lot today, so let's take a
(19:41):
moment to breathe and bring itall together because whether
you're standing in front of yourcloset, unsure of what fits,
feeling disconnected from yourbody, or just longing to feel
like you again, I want you toremember this.
Recognize the pressure and whereit's coming from.
Your worth is not in your weightor your wardrobe.
(20:05):
Reframe your closet as a placeof peace and not of panic.
So let go of what no longer fitsand make room for grace and
newer items when needed or whennecessary, and finally, come
back to your creator.
True confidence starts in yourheart and in your mind.
(20:25):
That's the transformation thatis going to happen when you
anchor yourself to him.
It is not in the mirror or inyour closet.
It can be hard to love yourselfand be at peace when you're
thinking about your body imageand how it's changed and it's so
easy to pick at all of the flawsthat you see.
(20:47):
It's a lot harder to learn tolove yourself in the way that
God loves you, but I know andbelieve that you can do hard
things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
(21:08):
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you If you want to
connect even more, join theinsider's list.
(21:30):
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on the link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
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