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Hey Mama!
Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list and mom guilt creeping in this summer? You’re not alone! This episode is here to help you break free from the pressure of perfection and embrace a more peaceful, intentional season.
Inside this episode, we’re talking about why doing less might just be your secret weapon to doing more—especially when it comes to being present with your family and building your small business (or pursuing your passions).
We’re diving into the biblical truth behind letting go of the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves and how choosing peace over performance can transform your summer.
3 Takeaways You’ll Love:
- Perfectionism keeps you stuck – Learn how it fuels burnout and guilt, and what to do instead.
- Choosing presence that leads to peace – Discover the power of leaving one thing undone (yes, on purpose!😬) to make space for what truly matters.
- Small shifts that build lasting impact – Find out how one small mindset shift can help you enjoy your family, steward your business, and create more balance this summer.
**This episode is part of the “Grace Over Guilt” Challenge happening now inside our free community! Come join us for 5 days of simple, life-giving habits to kick off a summer filled with intention, joy, and presence—without the guilt.
Tap the link in the show notes to join the challenge and let’s make this your most peaceful, purposeful summer yet!
Related Episodes:
118 | Can I Be A Good Mom And Build A Business? How To Let Go Of Guilt
113 | Feel Like You’re Failing as a Mom? You’re Not—Here’s What You Need to Hear
108 | Stuck And Stressed From Aiming For Perfection? What To Do Instead
More FREE Resources:
FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms
Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider
Work with me
Book your 1:1 call:- https://calendly.com/restoredmind
Ways You Can Give Back:
Leave A Review On Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-restored-mind-faith-building-self-doubt/id1654768629
I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You're doing everything you can,keeping up with laundry,
planning intentional time withyour kids to make the most out
of this summer.
Maybe you're even squeezing in alittle bit of time to work on
your small business, and yet youstill feel like there's a never
ending to-do list.
Sound familiar, that constantchasing for more time will leave
you burnt out and disconnectedfrom the things that matter most
(00:23):
to you.
I'm running a five day Graceover guilt challenge in my free
online community that'shappening right now, and today's
episode gives you a behind thescenes look at day two of the
challenge.
So if you're ready to tradeperfection for presence, and
finally show up with peace whileyou're with your family and in
(00:43):
your small business.
This one is for you.
Let's dive in.
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
(01:03):
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
The Grace Over Guilt Challengeis happening right now
(01:27):
exclusively in my free onlinecommunity, and it's not too late
for you to join us if you'retired of constantly second
guessing yourself on if you'redoing enough or wondering where
your time should be spent andfeeling guilty when you're doing
it all.
Or struggling to be present withyour kids and in your small
(01:48):
business.
This challenge was made for you.
Each day gives you one simplebut effective way to help you
ditch the overwhelm and moveforward with peace.
Whether you're with your familyor working, you still have time
to join us, and you can do thatby clicking the link in the show
notes to jump on in with myselfand the incredible mamas in
(02:08):
there.
This is going to be the bestsummer yet, and I can't wait to
do it alongside you.
See you there.
I used to believe that a goodmom was someone who did it all
without letting anything slipthrough the crack.
I thought she had her home tidy.
(02:29):
I mean, I think Pinterest worthyclean homemade meals, which,
okay, I think I have that onechecked off my list because I
tend to enjoy cooking.
So most of our meals arehomemade.
So I got that checked off mylist, but then I thought she was
crushing her goals, whether itwas in fitness or in business,
whatever she was doing, she wasrocking it out with no flaws.
(02:53):
Everything was perfect.
So I chased those things andwhat actually ended up happening
was.
I became short tempered,resentful, and completely
disconnected from the thingsthat mattered most, which is the
complete opposite of what Ithought a good mom was.
So there was a day where Irealized I was actually missing
(03:13):
out on the little moments withmy kids because I honestly.
Had just flipped out on them.
I was yelling for some reason.
I can't remember why, but I doremember myself feeling very
guilty for the way that I actedin front of my kids.
It was over something small, I'msure, but that also made me
realize that the more I wouldkeep doing this, the less and
(03:35):
less my kids would want meinvolved and their activities.
Whether it was in drawing,coloring, reading, or playing
with them, and I didn't wantthat because I wanted to be a
mom that was present with themonly.
Everything that I was chasingafter was producing the exact
opposite effect of what Iwanted.
So I knew something had tochange because I was exhausted.
(03:57):
So I did the unthinkable.
Well, at least to me, it feltlike it was the unthinkable.
I decided to leave one thingundone on purpose.
I know you're thinking, what areyou doing, lady?
you're thinking that probablysounds insane because if you're
just like me who has a list ofthings to do that seems to be
(04:18):
never ending, seems likeprocrastination.
Or maybe you automatically thinkyou're gonna fall behind on your
routine, right?
It was actually a lot harderthan I thought because the fear
of failing or falling behind waseating away at me.
That small act helped me realizethat I wasn't failing or falling
behind.
I was actually creating spacefor what mattered most.
(04:41):
So today I'll share threelife-changing things.
It's taught me that I wish I hadknown sooner.
Starting with this, and that isperfectionism is going to keep
you stuck.
See, perfectionism tells youthat if it's not all done
perfectly, you're failing.
It puts an immense amount ofpressure on you to finish your
to-do list.
But let's face it, that's a liethat mom get whispers.
(05:04):
It makes you think that it allhas to get done or you're
falling behind.
When you continue to let theperfectionist mindset control
your actions, it leads toburnout, to stress, and it keeps
you disconnected from yourfamily and the work that matters
most to you.
So let's talk about work.
'cause I used to have such ahorrible attitude when it came
(05:27):
to work.
I used to look at everything asan annoyance or honestly like an
inconvenience to me.
But if you really think aboutit, work is something that you
do.
Every single day.
You can't escape it.
Work is when you're washing thedishes, when you're cleaning,
when you're organizing, evenwhen you're spending time with
(05:47):
your kids, that is still work.
Now, that might be moreenjoyable than say, doing the
dishes, but at the end of theday, it's all work.
So think about the kind of workthat is going to be the most
productive and what matters mostto you.
Then begin shifting your mindsetaround that perspective.
Because no matter the season,there's always work to do, but
(06:12):
the most important work isn'tabout finishing what's on your
list.
It's actually about beingfaithful and present in what
matters most today.
This is exactly what we dug intoon day two of the Grace Over
Guilt Challenge, letting go ofthe need to finish it all and
learning to choose what matterswith peace.
(06:33):
So remember that aiming forperfection is going to lead to
burnout.
I mean, you want to aim forprogress.
I said this before on my podcastand I'll keep saying it again
because it serves as a reminderfor me and maybe for you as
well.
But aiming for perfection leadsto burnout and adds more stress
into your life, which we allknow nobody wants, right?
(06:55):
But.
Aiming for progress is the goalbecause that is going to help
you create these small wins.
So I want you to try this.
Choose one thing today to leaveundone on purpose, and instead
redirect that time to be fullypresent with your family or in
your business this shift isgoing to help you become more
intentional in your actions andremind you of what matters most.
(07:20):
You actually get to focus onthese things instead of other
stuff that isn't as urgent inthe moment.
And I'll give you an example.
There was a time where I was abeauty content creator and I was
obsessed with lipsticks and nailpolish, and to keep myself from
doing the work that actuallymatters in the moment.
I would go and reorganize mynail polish colors from anything
(07:42):
that I can think of, whether itbe by color, gradation, or the
finishes of the polish.
It was really something that.
Didn't really need my attentionbecause they were already on the
shelf organized, and yet I stillfound time to go in there and
mess with it and ignore theactual urgent tasks to be fully
present.
And then I would wonder where mytime went.
(08:03):
Right?
So this challenge is a simplestep that we're taking in day
two of the Grace Over GuiltChallenge.
And honestly, it's a gamechanger.
Embracing imperfection is goingto create presence for you,
intentional presence.
As a matter of fact, when youchoose to leave one chore
undone, you're actually makingspace for something better,
(08:27):
which is peace and.
Being intentionally present withyour family or in your business.
I mean, think about the piecethat comes over you when you
finally get to a place where ifyou know that something on your
to-do list is incomplete, thatyou're gonna be okay, that the
day is so gonna move on, and yourealize that you actually spent
(08:49):
more time with your family thanyou.
Thought you would be able to.
So that's amazing, right?
Whether that's snuggling on thecouch with your kids or slowing
down for dinner.
Maybe it's inviting your kids tojoin you in making dinner.
And when my daughter's joiningme, it's such a wonderful time
because they are so curiousabout my childhood.
They ask 1,000,001 questionsabout the dish that I'm making.
(09:11):
And it sparks a conversationbetween us that I get to share a
part of my history with them.
Sometimes it's things that I'velearned in the kitchen with my
mom.
Other times it's just meexperimenting with ingredients
just to see how a dish turns outand it.
Sparks creativity in them aswell.
And it helps them learn how tonavigate through the kitchen
(09:32):
safely.
So that's always fun.
And it reminds me so much of astory in scripture that hits
home for many mamas like us.
And that story is of Martha andMary.
And I love how both Martha andMary are so incredibly relatable
to us mamas in their own way.
And what I especially love isthe reminder that we receive
(09:52):
when reading this because ittalks about what truly matters.
This takes place in Luke chapter10, verse 38 to 42.
And yes, I'm going to read itwith you.
So mama, if you are able, pullout your Bible And turn to Luke
chapter 10, verse 38.
Or if you have the Bible on yourphone you can pull that up too
(10:13):
and just follow along with anyversion of the Bible that you
have.
I will be reading from theEnglish standard version.
So he starts off and says, now,as they went on their way, Jesus
entered a village and a womannamed Martha welcomed him into
her house.
And she had a sister called Marywho sat at the Lord's feet and
(10:33):
listened to his teaching.
But Martha was distracted withmuch serving and she went up to
him and said, Lord, do you notcare that my sister has left me
to serve alone?
Tell her then to help me, butthe Lord answered her.
Martha.
Martha, you are anxious andtroubled about many things, but
(10:55):
one thing is necessary.
Mary has chosen the goodportion, which will not be taken
away from her.
Now as I've read that, how manyof you thought yourself to be
more like Martha?
Or maybe Mary, or maybe both andnow you can see me, but I'm
raising my hand for both becauseI'm a little bit of both right
(11:16):
now in this season, to becompletely honest with you.
As I'm thinking about this andhow it relates to me, that I
really need to go back and bemore like Mary instead of like
Martha constantly on the go ortrying to do something that is
serving.
I mean, our intentions are good,but sometimes we miss the point.
(11:36):
But I wanna bring your attentionto verse 42, which reads, but
one thing is necessary becausethere's a footnote there that I
wanna focus on.
It says, some manuscripts saysfew things are necessary, or
only one thing is necessary.
And as I went back to readthrough that, I thought about
how only one thing is necessaryis actually sticking out to me.
(11:56):
Because what that means to me isthat there is only one, there's
nothing else.
Only one thing is necessary.
And it reminded me that when youset out to do something, as
Solomon says, do it with allyour might.
We talked about that in theprevious episode, which I'll
link in the show notes for youin case you missed it.
(12:17):
It also reminded me not toforget our creator and the
process of it, and the processof us serving, the process of us
listening and being at theLord's feet for us to remember
God in all of it.
See, the work that you're doingis not just busy work, though it
can be if it becomes adistraction, even when the work
(12:40):
feels like it's mundane orinconvenient, It's meant to
bring us closer to God.
I'm reminded how theseinconvenient times should bring
us back to the Lord withgratitude as part of our mindset
and our attitude, there was atime where my oldest two were
toddlers and they get ahold ofCrayola markers.
(13:00):
I found them in the bathtub andthey were drawing all over it.
It made me so mad because I wasin the middle of making them
lunch.
Then I found this mess that Ihad to clean up, which I never
thought that I would have to.
I thought we had anunderstanding.
That marker only goes on paper,but that didn't happen.
And the mess that I cleaned upwas not something that I ever
(13:20):
planned to clean up or even hadplans in that day to clean up.
I thought we had anunderstanding, but you know,
their kids and the understandingwas short-lived.
So I had that to clean up and itreally frustrated me.
But.
It made me realize that I missedan opportunity for this to be a
learning moment, meaningreiterating what we don't do and
(13:45):
also teaching them how to cleanup messes that are made.
Right.
But I didn't do that in myyounger mind.
I was.
Probably in my early to midtwenties when this happened.
Very short tempered.
Again, chasing that good momidea, that perfectionist mom
mindset.
So yes, your to-do list mightfeel like it's never ending, and
you might find yourselfconstantly on the go so that you
(14:07):
can finally get to the end ofthat list.
But as I hinted earlier on inthis episode, the truth is that
the list doesn't end.
I mean, we are mamas.
The work doesn't end, and that'snot to overwhelm you with that
thought, but truly to bring youback to the Lord and remembrance
of him that.
The work doesn't end, and thatis a blessing.
(14:28):
Even though we have seasons asmoms, the seasons are
short-lived.
Time goes by so fast with ourkids, so now it's a matter of
learning how you work throughthat without feeling the
overwhelm.
And I just have to say veryquickly that leaving something
undone does not mean that you'rebeing lazy.
You're procrastinating orfalling behind.
(14:50):
It means that you're beingintentional and yes, it's going
to stretch you, it's going tochallenge you and your mind, but
this is where growth happens.
So I always suggest startingsmall with something that feels
manageable.
So I wouldn't suggest somethingthat is urgent and pressing that
needs your attention right away.
(15:11):
So maybe this small, manageablething is letting the dishes sit
in the sink until after movienight.
If your family has movie nightor maybe.
It's starting your morning alittle bit later so that you can
get more snuggles in.
I mean, if you think about it,,the older that they get, how
many times have we said as momsthat we wish we held our babies
a little bit longer?
(15:32):
This would be the perfect momentto do that.
When you stop chasing for moretime to do all the things on
your to-do list, your day,essentially it feels lighter, it
feels more complete.
You start to enjoy the work thatyou're doing.
So these mundane things,everyday daily tasks, you start
to find joy in them and they'renot as.
(15:55):
Hard or as daunting as they mayseem.
So that could be in how you areparenting or maybe in your
business.
But the reason why that happensis because now finally, your
heart is in the work.
Your mind is also present, andyou're not just going through
the motions or doing the taskswith frustration and anger, but
(16:15):
you're intentionally puttingtime into it.
So here's what I want you totry.
Pick one non-essential task toskip today, and if the entire
day is really daunting, thinkabout putting it off for a
little while longer.
Maybe that's something likefolding the laundry, maybe it's
(16:36):
wiping the counters down, unlessthat needs your urgent attention
right away.
But just start small And insteadrefocus your attention.
Maybe read a book with yourchild or go on a walk with your
kids.
There's a couple of games thatwe used to play on our walks.
We used to play, I Spy on ourwalks and we would laugh about
the silliest things or even lookfor the silliest things, like
(16:58):
maybe our neighbor had a funkymailbox color or a certain
decoration on it.
Maybe it was giant inflatablesduring the holiday season or in
the summertime when ourneighbors had their summer
decorations up.
We would spy those things andtalk about the colors.
So maybe it was a.
Giant pink flamingo.
(17:19):
We would say, I spy somethingpink, or I spy a flamingo.
My daughter loves animals.
She would always spy birds.
Or squirrels or maybe evenbunnies if we walked early
enough in the morning where theywere out and eating the grass on
the lawn.
But it was so fun because itmade our walks a lot shorter,
and it was a great conversationfor us to have.
(17:39):
We also play Follow the Leaderwhere the kids got to go at
their own pace in any directionthat they wanted.
Of course, with safety in mind.
Luckily we were in aneighborhood where the drivers
were very, very careful andwould look out for kids as
they're driving But still, itwas just really fun.
I mean, my kids would go in allsorts of directions.
(18:01):
They went fast and zigzags slowin circles or just hopping like
a bunny.
And we would just hop along withthem And it actually gave them a
chance to test their leadershipskills.
They had the opportunity to goreally fast and leave everyone
behind or to slow down untileveryone caught up.
And they cheered each other on.
So it was really cool to seethat happen as well.
(18:23):
And honestly, this was a greatway to spark conversation about
what makes a great leader or,talk about what their
limitations were and how we canimprove and all of the things.
It was just really fun andintentional.
Which is what this is all about,right?
It's about being intentionalwith that pocket of time that
you have.
And here's what's amazing.
(18:44):
When you stop trying toovercompensate and instead focus
on those small present moments,you start to build something
even better.
And that's what led to the finalmindset shift that I wanna share
with you and that is taking thesmall step towards being more
present and intentional.
It builds habits of peace andclarity.
(19:05):
So it's about being present, notperfect.
It gives you a sense of balancethat is going to help you feel
more productive in your day.
It helps with the mindset shiftthat it's not always about being
on the go or chasing the list ofchores that you have on your
never ending to-do list.
It's about finally believing andknowing that your rest, the time
(19:27):
that you have, especially nowthat it's summer and progress
that you're making are a form ofsuccess.
Imagine the summer being filledwith intentional moments where
you get to make memories withyour kids.
And still carve out time to workon your small business.
You are making progress andyou're winning at it because
(19:49):
you're not burnt out.
You're not worried that you'refailing or falling behind.
You're not relying on the quoteunquote perfect moment to do
something.
Instead, you're living and doinglife.
You're rolling with the puncheswith your family while serving
others and your small business.
so celebrate the small wins thatyou get because these small wins
(20:11):
are going to shape your summerand make it the best one yet.
All right.
So I know we talked about a lottoday, mama, and I'm just gonna
recap really quickly, but.
as you began to take on thischallenge of letting one thing
go undone for the day or maybe acouple of hours.
But letting go of perfectiondoes not mean that you are
(20:31):
giving up excellence becausefirst of all, you're doing the
best that you can and it means.
You're actually choosing to beintentional over the pressure
that you put on yourself.
And leaving one thing undonegives you space for what
matters, right?
We're talking about being,intentionally present and not
focusing on the actualperformance of trying to get
(20:54):
everything done perfectly.
Now, don't forget those smallwins.
We did talk about them, and Iwant you to celebrate those
small wins because in actuality,they're not small at all.
They're shaping your summer andyou're getting the peace that
you've been searching for, whichis amazing, All right, mama.
So if this episode spoke intoyou and you are interested in
(21:16):
joining the Grace Over GuiltChallenge, it is still happening
inside my free online community.
So if you wanna jump in, it'snot too late.
It's going to continue fromtoday through June 13th to join
me and The Incredible Mamas.
Simply click the link in theshow notes to join us.
Let's create the most memorablesummer.
(21:38):
Yet without the frustration,without the overwhelm, we can do
it together.
One simple but effective habitchange at a time.
I know it's hard, but you can dohard things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
(21:59):
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
(22:20):
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you If you want to
connect even more, join theinsider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on the link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
You're doing everything you can,keeping up with laundry,
planning intentional time withyour kids to make the most out
of this summer.
Maybe you're even squeezing in alittle bit of time to work on
your small business, and yet youstill feel like there's a never
ending to-do list.
Sound familiar, that constantchasing for more time will leave
you burnt out and disconnectedfrom the things that matter most
(00:23):
to you.
I'm running a five day Graceover guilt challenge in my free
online community that'shappening right now, and today's
episode gives you a behind thescenes look at day two of the
challenge.
So if you're ready to tradeperfection for presence, and
finally show up with peace whileyou're with your family and in
(00:43):
your small business.
This one is for you.
Let's dive in.
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
(01:03):
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
The Grace Over Guilt Challengeis happening right now
(01:27):
exclusively in my free onlinecommunity, and it's not too late
for you to join us if you'retired of constantly second
guessing yourself on if you'redoing enough or wondering where
your time should be spent andfeeling guilty when you're doing
it all.
Or struggling to be present withyour kids and in your small
(01:48):
business.
This challenge was made for you.
Each day gives you one simplebut effective way to help you
ditch the overwhelm and moveforward with peace.
Whether you're with your familyor working, you still have time
to join us, and you can do thatby clicking the link in the show
notes to jump on in with myselfand the incredible mamas in
(02:08):
there.
This is going to be the bestsummer yet, and I can't wait to
do it alongside you.
See you there.
I used to believe that a goodmom was someone who did it all
without letting anything slipthrough the crack.
I thought she had her home tidy.
(02:29):
I mean, I think Pinterest worthyclean homemade meals, which,
okay, I think I have that onechecked off my list because I
tend to enjoy cooking.
So most of our meals arehomemade.
So I got that checked off mylist, but then I thought she was
crushing her goals, whether itwas in fitness or in business,
whatever she was doing, she wasrocking it out with no flaws.
(02:53):
Everything was perfect.
So I chased those things andwhat actually ended up happening
was.
I became short tempered,resentful, and completely
disconnected from the thingsthat mattered most, which is the
complete opposite of what Ithought a good mom was.
So there was a day where Irealized I was actually missing
(03:13):
out on the little moments withmy kids because I honestly.
Had just flipped out on them.
I was yelling for some reason.
I can't remember why, but I doremember myself feeling very
guilty for the way that I actedin front of my kids.
It was over something small, I'msure, but that also made me
realize that the more I wouldkeep doing this, the less and
(03:35):
less my kids would want meinvolved and their activities.
Whether it was in drawing,coloring, reading, or playing
with them, and I didn't wantthat because I wanted to be a
mom that was present with themonly.
Everything that I was chasingafter was producing the exact
opposite effect of what Iwanted.
So I knew something had tochange because I was exhausted.
(03:57):
So I did the unthinkable.
Well, at least to me, it feltlike it was the unthinkable.
I decided to leave one thingundone on purpose.
I know you're thinking, what areyou doing, lady?
you're thinking that probablysounds insane because if you're
just like me who has a list ofthings to do that seems to be
(04:18):
never ending, seems likeprocrastination.
Or maybe you automatically thinkyou're gonna fall behind on your
routine, right?
It was actually a lot harderthan I thought because the fear
of failing or falling behind waseating away at me.
That small act helped me realizethat I wasn't failing or falling
behind.
I was actually creating spacefor what mattered most.
(04:41):
So today I'll share threelife-changing things.
It's taught me that I wish I hadknown sooner.
Starting with this, and that isperfectionism is going to keep
you stuck.
See, perfectionism tells youthat if it's not all done
perfectly, you're failing.
It puts an immense amount ofpressure on you to finish your
to-do list.
But let's face it, that's a liethat mom get whispers.
(05:04):
It makes you think that it allhas to get done or you're
falling behind.
When you continue to let theperfectionist mindset control
your actions, it leads toburnout, to stress, and it keeps
you disconnected from yourfamily and the work that matters
most to you.
So let's talk about work.
'cause I used to have such ahorrible attitude when it came
(05:27):
to work.
I used to look at everything asan annoyance or honestly like an
inconvenience to me.
But if you really think aboutit, work is something that you
do.
Every single day.
You can't escape it.
Work is when you're washing thedishes, when you're cleaning,
when you're organizing, evenwhen you're spending time with
(05:47):
your kids, that is still work.
Now, that might be moreenjoyable than say, doing the
dishes, but at the end of theday, it's all work.
So think about the kind of workthat is going to be the most
productive and what matters mostto you.
Then begin shifting your mindsetaround that perspective.
Because no matter the season,there's always work to do, but
(06:12):
the most important work isn'tabout finishing what's on your
list.
It's actually about beingfaithful and present in what
matters most today.
This is exactly what we dug intoon day two of the Grace Over
Guilt Challenge, letting go ofthe need to finish it all and
learning to choose what matterswith peace.
(06:33):
So remember that aiming forperfection is going to lead to
burnout.
I mean, you want to aim forprogress.
I said this before on my podcastand I'll keep saying it again
because it serves as a reminderfor me and maybe for you as
well.
But aiming for perfection leadsto burnout and adds more stress
into your life, which we allknow nobody wants, right?
(06:55):
But.
Aiming for progress is the goalbecause that is going to help
you create these small wins.
So I want you to try this.
Choose one thing today to leaveundone on purpose, and instead
redirect that time to be fullypresent with your family or in
your business this shift isgoing to help you become more
intentional in your actions andremind you of what matters most.
(07:20):
You actually get to focus onthese things instead of other
stuff that isn't as urgent inthe moment.
And I'll give you an example.
There was a time where I was abeauty content creator and I was
obsessed with lipsticks and nailpolish, and to keep myself from
doing the work that actuallymatters in the moment.
I would go and reorganize mynail polish colors from anything
(07:42):
that I can think of, whether itbe by color, gradation, or the
finishes of the polish.
It was really something that.
Didn't really need my attentionbecause they were already on the
shelf organized, and yet I stillfound time to go in there and
mess with it and ignore theactual urgent tasks to be fully
present.
And then I would wonder where mytime went.
(08:03):
Right?
So this challenge is a simplestep that we're taking in day
two of the Grace Over GuiltChallenge.
And honestly, it's a gamechanger.
Embracing imperfection is goingto create presence for you,
intentional presence.
As a matter of fact, when youchoose to leave one chore
undone, you're actually makingspace for something better,
(08:27):
which is peace and.
Being intentionally present withyour family or in your business.
I mean, think about the piecethat comes over you when you
finally get to a place where ifyou know that something on your
to-do list is incomplete, thatyou're gonna be okay, that the
day is so gonna move on, and yourealize that you actually spent
(08:49):
more time with your family thanyou.
Thought you would be able to.
So that's amazing, right?
Whether that's snuggling on thecouch with your kids or slowing
down for dinner.
Maybe it's inviting your kids tojoin you in making dinner.
And when my daughter's joiningme, it's such a wonderful time
because they are so curiousabout my childhood.
They ask 1,000,001 questionsabout the dish that I'm making.
(09:11):
And it sparks a conversationbetween us that I get to share a
part of my history with them.
Sometimes it's things that I'velearned in the kitchen with my
mom.
Other times it's just meexperimenting with ingredients
just to see how a dish turns outand it.
Sparks creativity in them aswell.
And it helps them learn how tonavigate through the kitchen
(09:32):
safely.
So that's always fun.
And it reminds me so much of astory in scripture that hits
home for many mamas like us.
And that story is of Martha andMary.
And I love how both Martha andMary are so incredibly relatable
to us mamas in their own way.
And what I especially love isthe reminder that we receive
(09:52):
when reading this because ittalks about what truly matters.
This takes place in Luke chapter10, verse 38 to 42.
And yes, I'm going to read itwith you.
So mama, if you are able, pullout your Bible And turn to Luke
chapter 10, verse 38.
Or if you have the Bible on yourphone you can pull that up too
(10:13):
and just follow along with anyversion of the Bible that you
have.
I will be reading from theEnglish standard version.
So he starts off and says, now,as they went on their way, Jesus
entered a village and a womannamed Martha welcomed him into
her house.
And she had a sister called Marywho sat at the Lord's feet and
(10:33):
listened to his teaching.
But Martha was distracted withmuch serving and she went up to
him and said, Lord, do you notcare that my sister has left me
to serve alone?
Tell her then to help me, butthe Lord answered her.
Martha.
Martha, you are anxious andtroubled about many things, but
(10:55):
one thing is necessary.
Mary has chosen the goodportion, which will not be taken
away from her.
Now as I've read that, how manyof you thought yourself to be
more like Martha?
Or maybe Mary, or maybe both andnow you can see me, but I'm
raising my hand for both becauseI'm a little bit of both right
(11:16):
now in this season, to becompletely honest with you.
As I'm thinking about this andhow it relates to me, that I
really need to go back and bemore like Mary instead of like
Martha constantly on the go ortrying to do something that is
serving.
I mean, our intentions are good,but sometimes we miss the point.
(11:36):
But I wanna bring your attentionto verse 42, which reads, but
one thing is necessary becausethere's a footnote there that I
wanna focus on.
It says, some manuscripts saysfew things are necessary, or
only one thing is necessary.
And as I went back to readthrough that, I thought about
how only one thing is necessaryis actually sticking out to me.
(11:56):
Because what that means to me isthat there is only one, there's
nothing else.
Only one thing is necessary.
And it reminded me that when youset out to do something, as
Solomon says, do it with allyour might.
We talked about that in theprevious episode, which I'll
link in the show notes for youin case you missed it.
(12:17):
It also reminded me not toforget our creator and the
process of it, and the processof us serving, the process of us
listening and being at theLord's feet for us to remember
God in all of it.
See, the work that you're doingis not just busy work, though it
can be if it becomes adistraction, even when the work
(12:40):
feels like it's mundane orinconvenient, It's meant to
bring us closer to God.
I'm reminded how theseinconvenient times should bring
us back to the Lord withgratitude as part of our mindset
and our attitude, there was atime where my oldest two were
toddlers and they get ahold ofCrayola markers.
(13:00):
I found them in the bathtub andthey were drawing all over it.
It made me so mad because I wasin the middle of making them
lunch.
Then I found this mess that Ihad to clean up, which I never
thought that I would have to.
I thought we had anunderstanding.
That marker only goes on paper,but that didn't happen.
And the mess that I cleaned upwas not something that I ever
(13:20):
planned to clean up or even hadplans in that day to clean up.
I thought we had anunderstanding, but you know,
their kids and the understandingwas short-lived.
So I had that to clean up and itreally frustrated me.
But.
It made me realize that I missedan opportunity for this to be a
learning moment, meaningreiterating what we don't do and
(13:45):
also teaching them how to cleanup messes that are made.
Right.
But I didn't do that in myyounger mind.
I was.
Probably in my early to midtwenties when this happened.
Very short tempered.
Again, chasing that good momidea, that perfectionist mom
mindset.
So yes, your to-do list mightfeel like it's never ending, and
you might find yourselfconstantly on the go so that you
(14:07):
can finally get to the end ofthat list.
But as I hinted earlier on inthis episode, the truth is that
the list doesn't end.
I mean, we are mamas.
The work doesn't end, and that'snot to overwhelm you with that
thought, but truly to bring youback to the Lord and remembrance
of him that.
The work doesn't end, and thatis a blessing.
(14:28):
Even though we have seasons asmoms, the seasons are
short-lived.
Time goes by so fast with ourkids, so now it's a matter of
learning how you work throughthat without feeling the
overwhelm.
And I just have to say veryquickly that leaving something
undone does not mean that you'rebeing lazy.
You're procrastinating orfalling behind.
(14:50):
It means that you're beingintentional and yes, it's going
to stretch you, it's going tochallenge you and your mind, but
this is where growth happens.
So I always suggest startingsmall with something that feels
manageable.
So I wouldn't suggest somethingthat is urgent and pressing that
needs your attention right away.
(15:11):
So maybe this small, manageablething is letting the dishes sit
in the sink until after movienight.
If your family has movie nightor maybe.
It's starting your morning alittle bit later so that you can
get more snuggles in.
I mean, if you think about it,,the older that they get, how
many times have we said as momsthat we wish we held our babies
a little bit longer?
(15:32):
This would be the perfect momentto do that.
When you stop chasing for moretime to do all the things on
your to-do list, your day,essentially it feels lighter, it
feels more complete.
You start to enjoy the work thatyou're doing.
So these mundane things,everyday daily tasks, you start
to find joy in them and they'renot as.
(15:55):
Hard or as daunting as they mayseem.
So that could be in how you areparenting or maybe in your
business.
But the reason why that happensis because now finally, your
heart is in the work.
Your mind is also present, andyou're not just going through
the motions or doing the taskswith frustration and anger, but
(16:15):
you're intentionally puttingtime into it.
So here's what I want you totry.
Pick one non-essential task toskip today, and if the entire
day is really daunting, thinkabout putting it off for a
little while longer.
Maybe that's something likefolding the laundry, maybe it's
(16:36):
wiping the counters down, unlessthat needs your urgent attention
right away.
But just start small And insteadrefocus your attention.
Maybe read a book with yourchild or go on a walk with your
kids.
There's a couple of games thatwe used to play on our walks.
We used to play, I Spy on ourwalks and we would laugh about
the silliest things or even lookfor the silliest things, like
(16:58):
maybe our neighbor had a funkymailbox color or a certain
decoration on it.
Maybe it was giant inflatablesduring the holiday season or in
the summertime when ourneighbors had their summer
decorations up.
We would spy those things andtalk about the colors.
So maybe it was a.
Giant pink flamingo.
(17:19):
We would say, I spy somethingpink, or I spy a flamingo.
My daughter loves animals.
She would always spy birds.
Or squirrels or maybe evenbunnies if we walked early
enough in the morning where theywere out and eating the grass on
the lawn.
But it was so fun because itmade our walks a lot shorter,
and it was a great conversationfor us to have.
(17:39):
We also play Follow the Leaderwhere the kids got to go at
their own pace in any directionthat they wanted.
Of course, with safety in mind.
Luckily we were in aneighborhood where the drivers
were very, very careful andwould look out for kids as
they're driving But still, itwas just really fun.
I mean, my kids would go in allsorts of directions.
(18:01):
They went fast and zigzags slowin circles or just hopping like
a bunny.
And we would just hop along withthem And it actually gave them a
chance to test their leadershipskills.
They had the opportunity to goreally fast and leave everyone
behind or to slow down untileveryone caught up.
And they cheered each other on.
So it was really cool to seethat happen as well.
(18:23):
And honestly, this was a greatway to spark conversation about
what makes a great leader or,talk about what their
limitations were and how we canimprove and all of the things.
It was just really fun andintentional.
Which is what this is all about,right?
It's about being intentionalwith that pocket of time that
you have.
And here's what's amazing.
(18:44):
When you stop trying toovercompensate and instead focus
on those small present moments,you start to build something
even better.
And that's what led to the finalmindset shift that I wanna share
with you and that is taking thesmall step towards being more
present and intentional.
It builds habits of peace andclarity.
(19:05):
So it's about being present, notperfect.
It gives you a sense of balancethat is going to help you feel
more productive in your day.
It helps with the mindset shiftthat it's not always about being
on the go or chasing the list ofchores that you have on your
never ending to-do list.
It's about finally believing andknowing that your rest, the time
(19:27):
that you have, especially nowthat it's summer and progress
that you're making are a form ofsuccess.
Imagine the summer being filledwith intentional moments where
you get to make memories withyour kids.
And still carve out time to workon your small business.
You are making progress andyou're winning at it because
(19:49):
you're not burnt out.
You're not worried that you'refailing or falling behind.
You're not relying on the quoteunquote perfect moment to do
something.
Instead, you're living and doinglife.
You're rolling with the puncheswith your family while serving
others and your small business.
so celebrate the small wins thatyou get because these small wins
(20:11):
are going to shape your summerand make it the best one yet.
All right.
So I know we talked about a lottoday, mama, and I'm just gonna
recap really quickly, but.
as you began to take on thischallenge of letting one thing
go undone for the day or maybe acouple of hours.
But letting go of perfectiondoes not mean that you are
(20:31):
giving up excellence becausefirst of all, you're doing the
best that you can and it means.
You're actually choosing to beintentional over the pressure
that you put on yourself.
And leaving one thing undonegives you space for what
matters, right?
We're talking about being,intentionally present and not
focusing on the actualperformance of trying to get
(20:54):
everything done perfectly.
Now, don't forget those smallwins.
We did talk about them, and Iwant you to celebrate those
small wins because in actuality,they're not small at all.
They're shaping your summer andyou're getting the peace that
you've been searching for, whichis amazing, All right, mama.
So if this episode spoke intoyou and you are interested in
(21:16):
joining the Grace Over GuiltChallenge, it is still happening
inside my free online community.
So if you wanna jump in, it'snot too late.
It's going to continue fromtoday through June 13th to join
me and The Incredible Mamas.
Simply click the link in theshow notes to join us.
Let's create the most memorablesummer.
(21:38):
Yet without the frustration,without the overwhelm, we can do
it together.
One simple but effective habitchange at a time.
I know it's hard, but you can dohard things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
(21:59):
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
(22:20):
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you If you want to
connect even more, join theinsider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on the link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
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