June 25, 2025 • 18 mins
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Hey Mama!
Have you ever felt like you're drowning in guilt over the way you reacted, the mistakes you made, or the expectations you didn’t meet as a mom? You're not alone! In this powerful episode of The Restored Mind Podcast, we dive deep into the emotional and spiritual weight of mom guilt—and the freedom that comes from walking in God’s forgiveness.
Discover the difference between guilt and grace, why forgiveness is more than a feeling, and how to practically respond when guilt tries to creep back in. If you're tired of replaying your mistakes and ready to embrace the peace that Christ offers, this conversation will refresh your spirit and renew your mind.
Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, work-from-home mom, or somewhere in between—this episode will encourage you to stop striving for perfection and start walking in the freedom Jesus already secured for you.
Key Takeaways:
- How to recognize the difference between guilt and forgiveness—and why it matters for your mindset and motherhood.
- Why grace is more powerful than guilt—and how to practically walk in daily forgiveness.
- How truth-filled confession and humble prayer help release the pressure of perfectionism.
Related Episode(s)
121 | The Hidden Cost Of Holding Onto Mom Guilt And How To Finally Let It Go
118 | Does Mom Guilt Ever Go Away? Honest Truth And A Biblical Way Forward
114 | Mom Guilt Is Lying To You: Replacing Fear With God's Truth
101 | The Only Question To Ask When You're Wondering "Am I enough?"
More FREE Resources:
FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms
Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider
Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com
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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
You know, God forgives you, butwhat about when you keep
replaying your failures in yourmind?
What about when you can'tforgive yourself?
In this episode, we're talkingabout how to actually walk in
forgiveness, how to shift yourthoughts and respond with truth
when guilt shows up.
Again, let's dive in.
(00:30):
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
(00:52):
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
You love your kids deeply andyou want to be fully present
with them.
You want to lead them well andraise them to know and to love
God.
But there's also a dream in yourheart, a small business that you
(01:13):
care about because it'smeaningful to you, and somewhere
in the middle of you leadingyour kids and working on your
small business.
Guilt is ringing louder thanever.
You wonder if focusing on yourbusiness means you're falling
short at home.
You question whether you'redoing enough, and the more that
you try to balance it all, themore overwhelmed you feel.
(01:34):
That's why I created my freeonline community, a space for
Christian moms just like you,who are tired of the guilt, who
are ready to ditch the pressureand are hungry for peace, so
that they can lead their familywell and work in their small
business.
Inside you'll find dailyencouragement.
(01:54):
We also have fun and simplechallenges in there that really
help you elevate these smallhabits that you create so that
you can do both.
It's very tangible and doablethings, and of course there's
biblical truth to help you letgo of guilt and build habits
that lead to lasting freedom, soas a mama who's been through it
(02:17):
herself and still occasionallyhears the voice of mom guilt, I
can tell you that there is peaceon the other side, and you don't
have to choose between being agood mom and pursuing your
passion.
You can do both.
So let's walk this out together.
The link is in the show notes.
Mama, I'll see you there.
(02:38):
When I think about what itreally means to forgive myself,
My mind takes me back to myearly to mid twenties.
I was tired, overwhelmed, and ifI'm being completely honest,
silently angry.
My husband was in the militaryand gone a lot, and I was home
with my two oldest.
Now, I loved them deeply.
(02:58):
But I was exhausted in thatseason and I was craving adult
interaction.
Most days the only grownupconversation I had was a quick
hello when I was talking to myneighbor or a brief chat with a
cashier while I was runningerrands.
Now, I remember one morning,like it was just yesterday, it
was one of those chaotic, can'tcatch or break days.
(03:22):
It seemed like there wassomething after another.
See, I was in the shower onemorning when my son came into
the bathroom with a bloody noseand I jumped out, conditioner
still in my hair and I wrapped atowel around my body and I was
cleaning my son up.
Soon afterwards, my daughterwakes up, scream crying because
she had an explosion in herdiaper, which I completely
(03:44):
understand So I'm talking toher, trying to soothe her as I'm
cleaning up my son and she's nothearing me.
She's upset.
So she's screamed, crying in thebackground.
My son's panicking'cause hedoesn't know what's going on
with his nose.
And then finally after I get himcleaned up, I turned over to my
daughter and I start to cleanher up.
But lo and behold, she ends uppeeing on the changing table.
(04:06):
And she was still upset at thispoint, still crying, can't calm
her down.
So what I ended up doing wasgiving her a warm bath, and that
ended up helping.
It was soothing for her.
She really enjoyed that.
She got to play with water inthe morning and then I nursed
her, and then we just cleanedeverything up.
It was 10:00 AM before I evenrealized it, and I realized I
(04:28):
never rinsed the conditioner outof my hair.
The soap at this point hadalready dried on my skin, but I
thought, okay, everything iscalm now, so i'm just gonna hop
back in the shower reallyquickly and.
Right as I was about to dip mytoe into the water, I heard
crying again, and I just lostit.
(04:50):
I was so frustrated.
I stormed out of the bathroomand went over to my kids asking,
what was it this time?
What was going on?
Why are they crying?
And then it hit me.
I had forgotten to give thembreakfast.
See, in the morning, I wouldnurse my daughter and then give
her solids afterwards so thatshe could have something.
(05:10):
By this time, her teeth wasalready coming in.
She was still nursing,, And Iwould give them solids but in
that moment, I felt crushed.
I felt like a failure.
I had raised my voice infrustration and guilt hit me
like a wave.
I thought, what kind of momforgets breakfast?
What kind of mom gets thisangry?
(05:32):
And even though I cried out toGod in the quiet time that I had
that day, I knew his forgivenesswas real, but my mind hadn't yet
accepted the forgiveness.
I kept thinking, why can't Ijust do better?
Why am I like this?
It was like I believed graceemotionally, but I still thought
I had to prove myself mentally.
(05:55):
But the more I anchored myselfin scripture and truth, the more
my mind began to catch up.
Because real transformationdoesn't start with feelings.
It starts with renewing ourminds with the word of God.
See guilt tells you that you'renever going to quote, unquote
get it right.
It makes you feel like you haveto punish yourself because of
the mistakes you've made.
When mom guilt's voice begins toget louder, you feel the weight
(06:19):
of your mistakes or decisions onyour shoulders and tell you from
experience.
It's never a lightweight.
It always feels heavy, almostlike it suffocates you.
It puts pressure on you to chaseafter perfection meaning you
feel like you have to do betterconsistently to make up for
where you've messed up.
Maybe you lose your temper andnow you feel like you have to
(06:40):
suppress your emotions.
You've told yourself, I'm nevergoing to get this angry again
over something like this.
But if I'm being honest withyou, maybe in the moment it
seems like a really doable thingbecause you feel guilty for
lashing out, and that seems tobe a quick answer to not feeling
that type of guilt again.
But realistically, it's probablynot the most doable thing
(07:01):
because anger is part of yourhuman emotions.
Now you can definitely work onself-control and work on
removing, triggering thoughts tohelp you become slow to anger,
but to suppress it is not theanswer.
To recognize guilt fromforgiveness, you need to think
about what your thoughts andemotions are as you reflect on
(07:23):
what happened, because guiltsounds like this.
It says I'm a bad mom.
I'm lazy.
I'm a hot mess.
I'm always behind those and manyother names you give yourself
are the names that Mom Guiltgives you.
It also minimizes the role andimpact you make in your family's
life.
And it can sound like this.
(07:44):
I'm just a stay at home mom.
Which I have been guilty ofsaying on many occasion with the
attitude of, I'm just a stay athome mom, meaning there's
nothing I'm doing that'simportant, but that's a lie
because what you're doing inyour home as you lead your kids
to love and know God well, asyou set the example and model
for them what it's like to workhard daily, to show up with joy
(08:07):
and to love with compassion.
That's a lot of work too,because kids will test your
patience.
I have done this on manyoccasions and even now as I am
talking to you about it, but Ihave to stop myself in those
moments to slow down so that Ican immediately replace that
with gratitude.
Because while I am a stay athome mom, there are many other
(08:29):
things that I do as well.
Guilt also traps you into thisfalse belief that if you choose
to serve your family, you can'tserve any place else.
It makes you pick one or theother.
And so you think if I take timeto work on my business, I'm
neglecting my kids.
But that is a lie that mom guiltlikes to implant in your mind.
(08:51):
Guilt also fuels perfectionismand pressure, and it always
makes you think that you're notdoing enough and it keeps you
overthinking in regret of yourdecisions and never letting you
move forward.
But see forgiveness.
It gives you grace to grow.
It says That moment doesn'tdefine me.
I probably messed up, but itdoesn't tell me who I am.
(09:14):
It shows me where I need toimprove.
it reminds you.
And launches you into peace sothat you can work from
forgiveness and not from guilt.
It reminds you that youridentity is secure in Christ and
not in your mistakes.
I think about Cain and Abel fromthe Book of Genesis.
Now, I'm not gonna read theentire chapter for you today,
(09:36):
but I will give you a summary, areally brief summary, but I do
highly recommend that you readit.
Cain and Abel are sons of Adamand Eve, and Cain was a farmer.
Abel is a shepherd.
Now, God took favor of Abel'soffering over Cain and it made
Cain jealous.
God saw this.
So he asked Cain, why are youangry?
(09:57):
If you do well, will you not beaccepted?
And if you do not do well, sinis crouching at the door.
It's desire is for you and mustrule over it.
Now I wanna pause here and justfor a quick moment, highlight
this verse, because.
In the footnotes where it saysits desire is for you, it also
(10:20):
says to you, towards you andagainst you.
And what it's talking about issin.
I think that's really importantto highlight because it even
goes further to explain how sinis never a good thing for us,
but God tells him, you must ruleover it.
Meaning.
It's a tangible, reachablething.
(10:40):
You are able to rule over it.
Now while the brothers were outin the field.
One day Cain kills Abel, andthen God asks where Abel is at.
And Cain responds by saying hedoesn't know.
And then he asks, am I mybrother's keeper?
But God confronts Cain and endsup cursing the ground that Cain
(11:01):
was working on and then banisheshim to be a restless wonderer.
Cain then says, he'll leave, andwhomever finds him will kill
him, but God showed mercybecause he marked Cain to
protect him from being killed.
and said, if anyone kills him,they will suffer Sevenfold.
And the reason why I bring Cainand Abel up is because I wanna
(11:23):
take a look at what happensbetween Cain and God as they
have this conversation after thefact that he's already murdered
his brother.
God marks cane to protect himfrom being killed.
And I think of that as the bloodof Jesus over us.
Over the fact that we have beensaved because of Jesus and we
(11:47):
are protected because of theblood of Jesus.
Just like the mark that's onCain.
And how many times have wewanted to run away or to give up
because we've made a mistake?
But see, we were never meant to.
Walk in perfection.
We were meant to grow from ourmistakes.
As we come to learn and knowmore about God and who he is,
(12:11):
our relationship with himdictates how we transform
internally and that translatesoutwardly.
So I think it's so important tosee here that yes, it was
unfortunate that this happened,but the mercy and grace of God
still poured out over.
Cain and it can still pour outover you.
As a matter of fact, it alreadyhas.
It's a matter of whether or notyour mind and heart is willing
(12:34):
to accept that.
You might be asking, why doesany of this matter?
Because mama, even in our worstmoments, God's mercy shows up
but we have to choose to respondto it.
We can let guilt define us, orwe can let forgiveness transform
us.
Remember, you can't stop guiltfrom showing up, but you can
(12:56):
speak God's truth and break freefrom it.
So you can't stop guilt fromshowing up, but you can speak
God's truth and response.
You get to decide how you reactwhen those thoughts try to take
over and when you respond withtruth, guilt lose its grip.
Because if you don't replace thelies, mom guilt tries to plant
(13:17):
lies like you're failing oryou're not enough, or maybe it's
you should have done better,you'll default back into shame,
regret, and the pressure to.
Do things perfectly.
And that's not the mostsustainable way for you to break
free from guilt.
One of my favorite ways to speaktruth back is with honest
(13:40):
confession and humble prayer,and trust me, this is a lot
harder than it seems, but it isone of the best ways that I felt
has helped me grow tremendouslyas a follower of Christ's, but
also a mom.
So for example, if I lose mytemper, I start by apologizing
to the person that I hurt, andit's not just a quick, sorry.
(14:01):
I tried to name what I did andhow it could have affected them.
So I would say something like,I'm sorry, I raised my voice.
I know that probably made youfeel like you couldn't come to
mommy and talk to me and itprobably scared you.
And that's not the kind of mom Iwant to be.
And then I take it to God not toearn forgiveness, but to walk in
(14:22):
it.
It's a practice of repentance.
I thank him for his grace and Iacknowledge that when I did
that, it was not sharing God'slight with my kids.
It was pushing them away.
And then I thank him for hisgrace.
I ask for healing over.
The person that I hurt, so maybeit's my son or my daughters, and
(14:42):
then I pray over my own heartthat I would grow and be
transformed by his spirit.
And that kind of prayer, onefull of truth, not performance.
It shifts everything.
But it's not easy because itrequires honesty and humility.
It means letting go of pride andcontrol in choosing to let grace
(15:03):
do what?
Guilt never can.
Which is to make you whole againand has been one of the hardest
part of growing spiritually andbreaking free from mom guilt,
but has been worth it.
And I'm also reminded as I'mtalking to you about this, of
Psalms 51 10, which says, createin me a clean heart, oh God, and
renew a right.
(15:24):
Spirit within me, there aretimes where I get so overwhelmed
and overstimulated where I'mfrustrated that I make it all
about me and forget to go backto my creator to see what would
be honoring and pleasing to him.
So forgiveness isn't a one-timedecision.
(15:44):
It's a daily practice, and youhave to be willing to choose it.
Every single day because guiltoften returns.
It returns when we make amistake when we are showing up
as someone who we don't want toand our emotions take over.
But because guilt returns often,and when it does, you need to
choose again and again to walkin grace and forgiveness.
(16:09):
So pause for a moment if youhave to, and remind yourself of
the gospel.
You're forgiven, right?
It's not because you got it allright or did anything to receive
it, but because Jesus did it foryou.
He took on God's wrath so thatyou would not have to, and you
get to choose forgiveness daily.
(16:31):
You get to have the blood ofChrist over you, just like God
marked Cain.
So in that moment, ask, am Iresponding to guilt or am I
walking in grace?
Now, I know that this was a lotto take in because forgiveness
has.
Such an emotional anchor to it.
(16:51):
There's so much that goes onwith it because as moms, we want
to be the absolute best that wecan for our kids.
And sometimes it just doesn'tcome off that way.
and as you begin to work onwalking and forgiveness, you
must first recognize the guilt.
Think about what guilt's voicesounds like compared to what
forgiveness sounds like.
(17:11):
Because mom guilt can berepetitive and it can pop up at
any moment.
Don't forget to speak truth toyourself.
When your mind begins to wander,tell yourself that God's grace
is sufficient for this day.
For this moment, as a matter offact.
And then take that and continueto choose Grace again and again.
Pause and ask, am I respondingto guilt or walking in grace?
(17:36):
so Mama, what's one place you'vebeen holding onto?
Guilt.
Where God's grace has alreadybeen given.
I know it's hard to walk inforgiveness when the weight of
motherhood feels so heavy attimes, and you have these high
expectations of yourself.
But I know and believe that youcan do hard things.
(18:02):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
(18:26):
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you If you want to
connect even more, join theinsider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on the link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
You know, God forgives you, butwhat about when you keep
replaying your failures in yourmind?
What about when you can'tforgive yourself?
In this episode, we're talkingabout how to actually walk in
forgiveness, how to shift yourthoughts and respond with truth
when guilt shows up.
Again, let's dive in.
(00:30):
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
(00:52):
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
You love your kids deeply andyou want to be fully present
with them.
You want to lead them well andraise them to know and to love
God.
But there's also a dream in yourheart, a small business that you
(01:13):
care about because it'smeaningful to you, and somewhere
in the middle of you leadingyour kids and working on your
small business.
Guilt is ringing louder thanever.
You wonder if focusing on yourbusiness means you're falling
short at home.
You question whether you'redoing enough, and the more that
you try to balance it all, themore overwhelmed you feel.
(01:34):
That's why I created my freeonline community, a space for
Christian moms just like you,who are tired of the guilt, who
are ready to ditch the pressureand are hungry for peace, so
that they can lead their familywell and work in their small
business.
Inside you'll find dailyencouragement.
(01:54):
We also have fun and simplechallenges in there that really
help you elevate these smallhabits that you create so that
you can do both.
It's very tangible and doablethings, and of course there's
biblical truth to help you letgo of guilt and build habits
that lead to lasting freedom, soas a mama who's been through it
(02:17):
herself and still occasionallyhears the voice of mom guilt, I
can tell you that there is peaceon the other side, and you don't
have to choose between being agood mom and pursuing your
passion.
You can do both.
So let's walk this out together.
The link is in the show notes.
Mama, I'll see you there.
(02:38):
When I think about what itreally means to forgive myself,
My mind takes me back to myearly to mid twenties.
I was tired, overwhelmed, and ifI'm being completely honest,
silently angry.
My husband was in the militaryand gone a lot, and I was home
with my two oldest.
Now, I loved them deeply.
(02:58):
But I was exhausted in thatseason and I was craving adult
interaction.
Most days the only grownupconversation I had was a quick
hello when I was talking to myneighbor or a brief chat with a
cashier while I was runningerrands.
Now, I remember one morning,like it was just yesterday, it
was one of those chaotic, can'tcatch or break days.
(03:22):
It seemed like there wassomething after another.
See, I was in the shower onemorning when my son came into
the bathroom with a bloody noseand I jumped out, conditioner
still in my hair and I wrapped atowel around my body and I was
cleaning my son up.
Soon afterwards, my daughterwakes up, scream crying because
she had an explosion in herdiaper, which I completely
(03:44):
understand So I'm talking toher, trying to soothe her as I'm
cleaning up my son and she's nothearing me.
She's upset.
So she's screamed, crying in thebackground.
My son's panicking'cause hedoesn't know what's going on
with his nose.
And then finally after I get himcleaned up, I turned over to my
daughter and I start to cleanher up.
But lo and behold, she ends uppeeing on the changing table.
(04:06):
And she was still upset at thispoint, still crying, can't calm
her down.
So what I ended up doing wasgiving her a warm bath, and that
ended up helping.
It was soothing for her.
She really enjoyed that.
She got to play with water inthe morning and then I nursed
her, and then we just cleanedeverything up.
It was 10:00 AM before I evenrealized it, and I realized I
(04:28):
never rinsed the conditioner outof my hair.
The soap at this point hadalready dried on my skin, but I
thought, okay, everything iscalm now, so i'm just gonna hop
back in the shower reallyquickly and.
Right as I was about to dip mytoe into the water, I heard
crying again, and I just lostit.
(04:50):
I was so frustrated.
I stormed out of the bathroomand went over to my kids asking,
what was it this time?
What was going on?
Why are they crying?
And then it hit me.
I had forgotten to give thembreakfast.
See, in the morning, I wouldnurse my daughter and then give
her solids afterwards so thatshe could have something.
(05:10):
By this time, her teeth wasalready coming in.
She was still nursing,, And Iwould give them solids but in
that moment, I felt crushed.
I felt like a failure.
I had raised my voice infrustration and guilt hit me
like a wave.
I thought, what kind of momforgets breakfast?
What kind of mom gets thisangry?
(05:32):
And even though I cried out toGod in the quiet time that I had
that day, I knew his forgivenesswas real, but my mind hadn't yet
accepted the forgiveness.
I kept thinking, why can't Ijust do better?
Why am I like this?
It was like I believed graceemotionally, but I still thought
I had to prove myself mentally.
(05:55):
But the more I anchored myselfin scripture and truth, the more
my mind began to catch up.
Because real transformationdoesn't start with feelings.
It starts with renewing ourminds with the word of God.
See guilt tells you that you'renever going to quote, unquote
get it right.
It makes you feel like you haveto punish yourself because of
the mistakes you've made.
When mom guilt's voice begins toget louder, you feel the weight
(06:19):
of your mistakes or decisions onyour shoulders and tell you from
experience.
It's never a lightweight.
It always feels heavy, almostlike it suffocates you.
It puts pressure on you to chaseafter perfection meaning you
feel like you have to do betterconsistently to make up for
where you've messed up.
Maybe you lose your temper andnow you feel like you have to
(06:40):
suppress your emotions.
You've told yourself, I'm nevergoing to get this angry again
over something like this.
But if I'm being honest withyou, maybe in the moment it
seems like a really doable thingbecause you feel guilty for
lashing out, and that seems tobe a quick answer to not feeling
that type of guilt again.
But realistically, it's probablynot the most doable thing
(07:01):
because anger is part of yourhuman emotions.
Now you can definitely work onself-control and work on
removing, triggering thoughts tohelp you become slow to anger,
but to suppress it is not theanswer.
To recognize guilt fromforgiveness, you need to think
about what your thoughts andemotions are as you reflect on
(07:23):
what happened, because guiltsounds like this.
It says I'm a bad mom.
I'm lazy.
I'm a hot mess.
I'm always behind those and manyother names you give yourself
are the names that Mom Guiltgives you.
It also minimizes the role andimpact you make in your family's
life.
And it can sound like this.
(07:44):
I'm just a stay at home mom.
Which I have been guilty ofsaying on many occasion with the
attitude of, I'm just a stay athome mom, meaning there's
nothing I'm doing that'simportant, but that's a lie
because what you're doing inyour home as you lead your kids
to love and know God well, asyou set the example and model
for them what it's like to workhard daily, to show up with joy
(08:07):
and to love with compassion.
That's a lot of work too,because kids will test your
patience.
I have done this on manyoccasions and even now as I am
talking to you about it, but Ihave to stop myself in those
moments to slow down so that Ican immediately replace that
with gratitude.
Because while I am a stay athome mom, there are many other
(08:29):
things that I do as well.
Guilt also traps you into thisfalse belief that if you choose
to serve your family, you can'tserve any place else.
It makes you pick one or theother.
And so you think if I take timeto work on my business, I'm
neglecting my kids.
But that is a lie that mom guiltlikes to implant in your mind.
(08:51):
Guilt also fuels perfectionismand pressure, and it always
makes you think that you're notdoing enough and it keeps you
overthinking in regret of yourdecisions and never letting you
move forward.
But see forgiveness.
It gives you grace to grow.
It says That moment doesn'tdefine me.
I probably messed up, but itdoesn't tell me who I am.
(09:14):
It shows me where I need toimprove.
it reminds you.
And launches you into peace sothat you can work from
forgiveness and not from guilt.
It reminds you that youridentity is secure in Christ and
not in your mistakes.
I think about Cain and Abel fromthe Book of Genesis.
Now, I'm not gonna read theentire chapter for you today,
(09:36):
but I will give you a summary, areally brief summary, but I do
highly recommend that you readit.
Cain and Abel are sons of Adamand Eve, and Cain was a farmer.
Abel is a shepherd.
Now, God took favor of Abel'soffering over Cain and it made
Cain jealous.
God saw this.
So he asked Cain, why are youangry?
(09:57):
If you do well, will you not beaccepted?
And if you do not do well, sinis crouching at the door.
It's desire is for you and mustrule over it.
Now I wanna pause here and justfor a quick moment, highlight
this verse, because.
In the footnotes where it saysits desire is for you, it also
(10:20):
says to you, towards you andagainst you.
And what it's talking about issin.
I think that's really importantto highlight because it even
goes further to explain how sinis never a good thing for us,
but God tells him, you must ruleover it.
Meaning.
It's a tangible, reachablething.
(10:40):
You are able to rule over it.
Now while the brothers were outin the field.
One day Cain kills Abel, andthen God asks where Abel is at.
And Cain responds by saying hedoesn't know.
And then he asks, am I mybrother's keeper?
But God confronts Cain and endsup cursing the ground that Cain
(11:01):
was working on and then banisheshim to be a restless wonderer.
Cain then says, he'll leave, andwhomever finds him will kill
him, but God showed mercybecause he marked Cain to
protect him from being killed.
and said, if anyone kills him,they will suffer Sevenfold.
And the reason why I bring Cainand Abel up is because I wanna
(11:23):
take a look at what happensbetween Cain and God as they
have this conversation after thefact that he's already murdered
his brother.
God marks cane to protect himfrom being killed.
And I think of that as the bloodof Jesus over us.
Over the fact that we have beensaved because of Jesus and we
(11:47):
are protected because of theblood of Jesus.
Just like the mark that's onCain.
And how many times have wewanted to run away or to give up
because we've made a mistake?
But see, we were never meant to.
Walk in perfection.
We were meant to grow from ourmistakes.
As we come to learn and knowmore about God and who he is,
(12:11):
our relationship with himdictates how we transform
internally and that translatesoutwardly.
So I think it's so important tosee here that yes, it was
unfortunate that this happened,but the mercy and grace of God
still poured out over.
Cain and it can still pour outover you.
As a matter of fact, it alreadyhas.
It's a matter of whether or notyour mind and heart is willing
(12:34):
to accept that.
You might be asking, why doesany of this matter?
Because mama, even in our worstmoments, God's mercy shows up
but we have to choose to respondto it.
We can let guilt define us, orwe can let forgiveness transform
us.
Remember, you can't stop guiltfrom showing up, but you can
(12:56):
speak God's truth and break freefrom it.
So you can't stop guilt fromshowing up, but you can speak
God's truth and response.
You get to decide how you reactwhen those thoughts try to take
over and when you respond withtruth, guilt lose its grip.
Because if you don't replace thelies, mom guilt tries to plant
(13:17):
lies like you're failing oryou're not enough, or maybe it's
you should have done better,you'll default back into shame,
regret, and the pressure to.
Do things perfectly.
And that's not the mostsustainable way for you to break
free from guilt.
One of my favorite ways to speaktruth back is with honest
(13:40):
confession and humble prayer,and trust me, this is a lot
harder than it seems, but it isone of the best ways that I felt
has helped me grow tremendouslyas a follower of Christ's, but
also a mom.
So for example, if I lose mytemper, I start by apologizing
to the person that I hurt, andit's not just a quick, sorry.
(14:01):
I tried to name what I did andhow it could have affected them.
So I would say something like,I'm sorry, I raised my voice.
I know that probably made youfeel like you couldn't come to
mommy and talk to me and itprobably scared you.
And that's not the kind of mom Iwant to be.
And then I take it to God not toearn forgiveness, but to walk in
(14:22):
it.
It's a practice of repentance.
I thank him for his grace and Iacknowledge that when I did
that, it was not sharing God'slight with my kids.
It was pushing them away.
And then I thank him for hisgrace.
I ask for healing over.
The person that I hurt, so maybeit's my son or my daughters, and
(14:42):
then I pray over my own heartthat I would grow and be
transformed by his spirit.
And that kind of prayer, onefull of truth, not performance.
It shifts everything.
But it's not easy because itrequires honesty and humility.
It means letting go of pride andcontrol in choosing to let grace
(15:03):
do what?
Guilt never can.
Which is to make you whole againand has been one of the hardest
part of growing spiritually andbreaking free from mom guilt,
but has been worth it.
And I'm also reminded as I'mtalking to you about this, of
Psalms 51 10, which says, createin me a clean heart, oh God, and
renew a right.
(15:24):
Spirit within me, there aretimes where I get so overwhelmed
and overstimulated where I'mfrustrated that I make it all
about me and forget to go backto my creator to see what would
be honoring and pleasing to him.
So forgiveness isn't a one-timedecision.
(15:44):
It's a daily practice, and youhave to be willing to choose it.
Every single day because guiltoften returns.
It returns when we make amistake when we are showing up
as someone who we don't want toand our emotions take over.
But because guilt returns often,and when it does, you need to
choose again and again to walkin grace and forgiveness.
(16:09):
So pause for a moment if youhave to, and remind yourself of
the gospel.
You're forgiven, right?
It's not because you got it allright or did anything to receive
it, but because Jesus did it foryou.
He took on God's wrath so thatyou would not have to, and you
get to choose forgiveness daily.
(16:31):
You get to have the blood ofChrist over you, just like God
marked Cain.
So in that moment, ask, am Iresponding to guilt or am I
walking in grace?
Now, I know that this was a lotto take in because forgiveness
has.
Such an emotional anchor to it.
(16:51):
There's so much that goes onwith it because as moms, we want
to be the absolute best that wecan for our kids.
And sometimes it just doesn'tcome off that way.
and as you begin to work onwalking and forgiveness, you
must first recognize the guilt.
Think about what guilt's voicesounds like compared to what
forgiveness sounds like.
(17:11):
Because mom guilt can berepetitive and it can pop up at
any moment.
Don't forget to speak truth toyourself.
When your mind begins to wander,tell yourself that God's grace
is sufficient for this day.
For this moment, as a matter offact.
And then take that and continueto choose Grace again and again.
Pause and ask, am I respondingto guilt or walking in grace?
(17:36):
so Mama, what's one place you'vebeen holding onto?
Guilt.
Where God's grace has alreadybeen given.
I know it's hard to walk inforgiveness when the weight of
motherhood feels so heavy attimes, and you have these high
expectations of yourself.
But I know and believe that youcan do hard things.
(18:02):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
(18:26):
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you If you want to
connect even more, join theinsider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on the link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
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