July 16, 2025 • 22 mins
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This episode is part of the Summer Confidence Mini Series, created especially for Christian moms who want to let go of insecurity and step into bold, God-centered confidence this season. Whether you’re just starting or catching up, you’re in the right place for practical mindset shifts, biblical encouragement, and heartfelt hope.
Hey Mama!
Staring at your closet wondering why nothing feels quite right this summer? You’re not alone! In this powerful kick-off to the Summer Confidence Mini Series, we’re tackling body image, confidence, and the internal dialogue that shows up when you’re just trying to get dressed for the day.
If you’ve ever said “I have nothing to wear” while picking apart your reflection in the mirror, this episode will help you stop the spiral and start dressing with intention. We're talking about more than just clothes—this is about identity, presence, and honoring your body as a gift from God.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How to shift from hiding in your clothes to dressing with confidence and purpose
- Why your inner dialogue about your body matters—and how to replace lies with truth
- A fun and practical challenge to help you feel put-together without waiting for a “special occasion”
Let’s reclaim joy and confidence this summer—not by chasing a perfect body, but by showing up rooted in God’s truth.
✨ Take the summer confidence challenge and share your outfit inside the free online community—linked in the show notes! ✨
Explore more from the Summer Confidence Mini Series:
More FREE Resources:
FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms
Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider
Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com
Work with me
Book your 1:1 call:- https://calendly.com/restoredmind
Ways You Can Give Back:
Leave A Review On Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-restored-mind-faith-building-self-doubt/id1654768629
I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It is summer and you're hot.
You're standing in front of themirror trying to decide between
shorts or a dress, but theshorts from last season don't
fit quite right and the strapson your dress, well, they make
your arms look quote unquoteweird, at least by what you're
seeing in the mirror.
So you let out a sigh, andbefore you know it, the thought
(00:23):
creeps in.
I have nothing to wear, which issomething we've all said in the
past.
If you feel like I justdescribed your summer morning,
mama, you are not alone.
Welcome to the summer confidenceminiseries where we're talking
honestly about body imageidentity, and how to show up
(00:43):
this season without wishing forfall to.
Hurry up and save us.
Let's dive in.
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
(01:05):
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
(01:26):
I got a question you've beendying to ask or just want to say
how much you love the show?
Well, now you can because nowyou can text me directly, which
is incredibly awesome and issuper easy.
There are no forms, no accounts.
Absolutely no fuss.
Just click the link in the shownotes and send me a quick note
(01:48):
like you're texting a friend.
The truth is, I love hearingfrom you and your messages help
shape future episodes.
So whether you have a question,Or just a little encouragement
that you wanna leave with me, Iwant to hear it.
And each week I'll pick one textto read on air.
So yours just might show up in afuture episode and a disclaimer
(02:11):
that I really feel like I needto share with you, so there are
no confusion.
When you send me a text message,I will not be able to reply to
you directly.
So if you are sending a messagethat needs a response or you
would like a response, pleasesend that over to
hello@restoredmindllc.com.
(02:33):
That's HELLO at restored mind.
llc.com and don't worry if youmissed it.
I'm also going to link the emailin the show notes as well.
I'll be honest with you,sometimes I don't always like my
(02:54):
body.
I know it's kind of interesting,right?
Because I don't really talkabout physical appearance on
this podcast.
As a matter of fact, I focus alot on faith, on mindset, and
even on.
Growing internally so that youcan be the best mom that you've
(03:14):
always imagined yourself to be.
So it might come off a littlebit new that I am talking about
physical bodies today, but Ithought it was the perfect way
to start off this summerconfidence miniseries because we
do see ourselves every day inthe mirror and we get dressed
every day so, I thought why nottalk about it?
(03:37):
It is part of our life.
And while I love a good comfylounge wear set, or even a cute
workout outfit, and if you knowme in real life, you know that I
am almost always in workoutclothes, which there's nothing
wrong with that, but lately I'vebeen wanting to dress up a
little bit more so what I didwas pull out some shorts And
(04:01):
what do you know?
They did not fit me the same formany reasons, Because over the
past year or two, my body haschanged, and even though I work
out pretty consistently still,my body has changed.
There's been some muscle growth.
Some weight gain and overall mymeasurements are not the same.
And to be honest with you, Ididn't love that my measurements
(04:22):
were getting bigger.
I started spiraling out ofcontrol with my own thoughts,
asking about all the things Ishould have done.
And wondering why I didn't dothose things, and that didn't
help because as I was staring atmyself in the mirror and just
picking myself apart, I startedalso blaming myself for all the
(04:44):
things that happened that Icouldn't change.
And, you know, life happens.
So along with not wanting toshow up some days and making
decisions that probably didn'talign best with my goals on top
of life happening itself, it's alot, but these are just real raw
moments in the life that welive.
(05:05):
And so one moment I wanted toget dressed up and feel a little
bit more pulled together.
And the next, I was back in gymshorts, which there's nothing
wrong with that, but I coupledit with I have nothing to wear,
and that made me stop and askmyself a hard question, what are
my clothes saying about how Ifeel about myself right now?
(05:29):
Maybe you've had a moment likethat too, where you just feel
stuck when you're trying to getdressed and feel put together
for the day, because the truthis sometimes we get dressed
based on fear, judgment, orfrustration, not from
confidence, and we throwsomething on just to quote
unquote get by or to hideinstead of choosing what helps
(05:49):
us feel present and comfortablein our own skin.
So let's start there, becauseeven getting dressed can be an
act of showing up withintention.
I've been guilty of this, butsince we're talking honestly
about confidence, I have toadmit that there have been times
where I pick outfits, notbecause I loved it, but because
(06:12):
I'm trying to hide a part of mybody that I don't particularly
like in that moment or theseason.
And yes, it does make sense thatif I am wearing a pair of shorts
or a dress that's a little bittighter on me and not my correct
size for the season my body isin, it'll further highlight the
bits that I'm not particularlyfond of, and it doesn't always
(06:37):
make me feel great, but I'lltell myself that it's passable.
So when I get a compliment frommy husband, it's not met with
gratitude, my body language, mytone of voice, they all suggest
that I halfway believe him andthat I'm being dismissive to a
compliment that he's giving me,which might make him think that
(06:57):
what he's saying doesn't matter.
And the truth is that's not whatI want to portray because I do
appreciate the compliment.
I am just struggling to receiveit when I'm not feeling great in
my own skin, which is a truetestament to how you feel
internally actually bleeds intohow you act outwardly and how
(07:18):
you are speaking to yourself aswell.
So when you are close that don'tnecessarily feel like you, you
can actually shrink backemotionally instead of being
present and feeling like you'reput together, you become
distracted, maybe evenuncomfortable, and.
Overly critical of yourself, andthis actually makes it harder
for you to enjoy the momentswith your family and can even
(07:41):
lead to you secretly comparingyourself to other mamas.
When I put on those pair ofshorts that I knew didn't fit
right, but I was just trying toget by, I could not wait to get
back home so that I could changeinto something more comfortable
and less restrictive.
And.
It took away some of the mostawesome moments that I could
have had with my kids.
(08:01):
It was such a horrible decisionthat I made.
So here's a couple of remindersthat I wanna share with you, and
that is for you to root yourconfidence in God, which is far
greater than you rooting yourconfidence in your physical
appearance Now.
Let me pause here because whenyou root your confidence in God,
it doesn't mean that you won'tever feel insecure.
(08:24):
There's gonna be days where likeme, you just simply do not like
what you see in the mirror.
But when you take a moment toremember God and remind yourself
that you are wonderfully made,it's going to.
First help you pause, and thenit's going to rewire your
mindset in that moment.
(08:45):
Change the dialogue of whatyou're saying to yourself so
that you can honor your body inthe best way.
That is also going to honor God.
It's showing respect for yourbody and your creator.
Because if you are constantlybashing on yourself, don't you
think that would break God'sheart that you are not seeing
(09:06):
the true beauty that is withinyou?
And the second reminder I wantto leave you with might catch
you off guard because you mightnot be thinking about your
husband in the middle of thesehard body image moments,
especially when you're standingin front of the mirror picking
yourself apart or pulled out allof your clothes trying to figure
out.
What to wear because you thinkyou have nothing to wear And in
(09:29):
your own head, you're trying tofigure it out.
Maybe you're even keeping thosethoughts private.
But here's why I bring him up.
It's because sometimes we forgetthat we don't have to carry
those thoughts alone.
Now, you might not think thatyou have to invite your husband
into that struggle, but trustme, he already sees you and the
reminder that I have for you isthat your husband still finds
(09:52):
you beautiful.
Not because of your body, butbecause of how you love and care
and nurture for the family thatyou two have created together.
So he sees the love and theheart that you pour into your
family, and that reminder isn't.
To dismiss your feelings by theway, it's meant to ground you in
truth that you are still loved,you are still seen and still
(10:15):
beautiful, even on days when youdon't feel like it.
And the third reminder that Iwanna share with you today that
also has a challenge with it, isthat you don't have to save your
quote unquote, nicer outfits fora special day.
So I challenge you to pull outthat beautiful sun dress.
Or maybe your summer linen pantsand create an outfit with it for
(10:38):
a grocery run.
I used to joke around that if Iever have an American wedding,
which by the way, little knownfact, I ended up having a
traditional Hmong wedding andnever actually an American
wedding.
Which is one that I dreamt ofhaving since I was a little
girl.
I mean, I had multiple weddingsas a little girl because I used
to sketch out my wedding dressesand.
(11:02):
While it is a joke that I wouldwear my wedding dress to vacuum
and cook and clean and do allthe things.
'cause let's face it, they're soexpensive.
The idea is that I'm not gonnasave my nice outfit for
something as special as.
A wedding, right?
So while realistically we arenot walking around in our
(11:24):
wedding dress, we probably havesomething in our closet right
now that we often save for maybea special date night or a
special brunch with ourgirlfriends.
Why not pull that out and wearit while you're going for a
simple grocery run?
It's gonna be so much fun andit's going to help you feel put
together in that moment.
(11:46):
As I'm speaking about this toyou right now, I am getting so
excited'cause I'm gonna do thismini challenge alongside you.
So this week we are not going tosave our quote unquote nice
pieces of clothes for a specialday, we're going to wear it like
we would as if today is aspecial day.
Because it truly is, and we'regoing to be intentionally
(12:08):
present with our family.
So if you decide to take on thischallenge, come share your
outfit pictures with me in myfree online community.
The link is gonna be posted inthe show notes for you, mama,
and I can't wait to see youthere.
So as you're doing this, askyourself, are my clothes helping
me to show up with intention ormake me want to hide?
(12:31):
Don't be afraid to let go ofpieces that make you want to
hide.
Opt for something that makes youfeel comfortable.
As a matter of fact, as I wastalking about my shorts earlier,
I've realized that once I try toput them on and force myself.
To wear them.
Well, I later realized thatthere was a pair of shorts that
I had that was actually too bigfor me about a summer or two
ago, and now it fits meperfectly in this season.
(12:55):
So that has since become my newfavorite pair of summer shorts.
So if those shorts or dresses orwhatever it is from a couple of
summers ago, if they're notfitting right, remember that you
do not have to force yourself towear it.
I 100% do not recommend.
I am guilty of this and trustme, you're probably be
(13:16):
uncomfortable the rest of thetime that you're trying to spend
time with your family and you'reactually going to want to wish
that you've put something elseon.
And finally pick something thatsupports what you prioritize the
most when it comes to youroutfits.
So for me, it's all aboutcomfort it what's working with
my body.
So if last summer's clothes arenot fitting right.
(13:39):
Grab something else.
And that has been one of mybiggest lessons, which probably
sounds like a no brainer, but asI am someone who is such a
visionary when I had an outfitin mind, I tend to just focus on
that and not anything else.
So if you're anything like me,take a moment and take a step
back and think about what's inyour closet right now that could
(14:00):
potentially work with what youenvisioned, or if you're able to
pivot in that moment, it's gonnabe incredibly.
Helpful.
Which leads me to my next point,because if you've ever stood in
front of the mirror, secondguessing what to wear or what
you see.
That's where we're gonna betalking about next because what
you say in the mirror matters.
(14:21):
Your internal dialogue aboutyour body, especially while
getting dressed has power, itcan either build you up or
reinforce lies that only bringfrustrations and insecurities.
And here's the thing, there is abig difference between being
honest with yourself andbelieving a lie.
Honesty sounds like this.
(14:41):
It's recognizing that maybe whatyou're putting on doesn't feel
like you anymore because yourstyle has changed.
And if you are working towards agoal, it's recognizing and
saying to yourself that you arestill working on yourself.
So you need to give yourselfspace and time to see the change
that you are working on.
(15:03):
But lies sound more like this.
It says that you're never goingto look good in anything no
matter what milestones you meet,or that you're never going to
get the confidence that you oncehad back.
And the bottom line is oneinvites growth while the other
invites shame.
You want to be mindful of whatyou're saying to yourself.
That doesn't mean that you'reignoring the reality of what you
(15:24):
see or pretending thateverything is perfect because
that's not going to help you outeither.
But it does mean that you aregoing to refuse to speak to
yourself.
In a way that tears you down,there's a difference between
honesty and harshness.
For example, towards the end ofspring, I noticed that my
clothes were fitting tighter.
(15:45):
And the scale had crept up.
And honestly, my first instinctwas to panic.
In fact, I would've gonestraight into desperation mode
if I was myself, maybe eventhree years ago.
So I would've cut out foods thatI enjoyed.
I would've overcorrected withintense workouts just to try to
quote unquote, fix it fast.
(16:07):
But this time with the habitsand the mindful awareness that
I've developed over the years, Islowed down and looked at what
had shifted over the past fewweeks and asked myself with
gentle care and honest questionslike, what's changed?
What do I need and what would itlook like to take care of myself
(16:29):
right now without going intopunishment mode?
These questions, helped meground myself without panicking.
And slow me down so that I wouldnot spiral into panic mode.
Because the truth is you canstill be honest with yourself,
but you don't have to be yourown worst critic.
Through the reflection, I'verealized that within the past
(16:50):
six to eight weeks, I had beenmore stressed.
I have not been sleeping well,and I've consumed more sugar
like sweet treats than Itypically would, so of course
that makes sense.
On top of that, I didn't meetall of my workout goals that I
had set myself up for the lastfew weeks, and so while I showed
up, it wasn't as consistent asit used to be, and this is just
(17:12):
being honest with myself Now ifI coupled that with words like,
I'm a failure or I'm lazy, orI'm not trying hard enough,
that's when you become your ownworst critic.
When your self-talk is filledwith criticism, it doesn't just
steal your joy in the moment.
It slowly trains your mind tolook for only the flaws in
(17:33):
everything.
And it's crazy to think that itstarts with how your body looks.
As you look at it in the mirror,but before you know it, you're
questioning whether you're doingenough.
As a mom, are you setting thebest example for your kids?
You're starting to think, maybemy husband doesn't love me
anymore because he's notattracted to me, and so you
(17:54):
start to distance yourself inyour marriage or maybe you're
wondering if you're failing inyour faith because you don't
feel as close to God as you oncedid.
It's so wild how one littlethought in front of the mirror
can open up the door to so muchdoubt When you become your own
worst critic and when you startto train your mind to look at
(18:14):
only the flaws, so we can changethat, right?
I challenge you today to thinkabout what you're saying to
yourself in the quiet momentswhen you say something like, I
hate how I look, I want you tofirst apologize to yourself and
then replace that statement thatyou just made with kindness or
motivation.
So I don't like how I look rightnow, but this is what I'm going
(18:37):
to do.
And then you take action onthat.
Okay?
And then take a deep breath andbring your thoughts to God with
gratitude giving thanks for yourbody that is able.
So if you're saying, I don'tlike how I look in this dress, I
can't stand my body the way thatit looks.
Take a moment, pause and thankGod that your body is still able
(18:58):
to move, that you can stillspend time with your family,
that you can still pick yourkids up, that you can still hold
your kids and make memories withthem this summer.
Your body is incredible.
It changes with time and duringseasons.
Your clothes are there to coveryou up, mama.
So do not let it dictate how youspeak to yourself.
(19:22):
So as we are nearing the end ofthis episode, I want to just
take a quick moment to recapeverything that we talked about,
because we took a look at a veryimportant question, and that is,
what are my clothes saying abouthow I feel?
It's a powerful question becauseit helps you reflect, are you
dressing from a place ofconfidence and comfort, or from
a place of hiding andfrustration?
(19:42):
And it also.
Highlights how you are speakingto yourself in the moment.
Remember, you don't have to saveyour quote unquote nice clothes
for a special day.
You can show up today withintention just as you are.
And don't forget the challenge,we're going to bring out our
nice clothes and wear it for asimple grocery run or wherever
(20:03):
it is you're going.
But the idea is that we are nolonger going to be stressing
about what doesn't fit, andwe're gonna focus on what does
fit.
If you do take this challengeon.
I would love for you to share itwith me in my free online
community.
The link is going to be in theshow notes for you.
What you say to yourselfabsolutely matters.
(20:25):
Your inner dialogue has power.
You can be honest without beingharsh.
So don't let your words tear youdown.
You can start speaking life overyour body instead of criticism.
And when you do that, you.
Open the door to peace,presence, and joy, and if
nothing else sticks out to youfrom this episode, I hope that
(20:46):
this does'cause I really wantyou to hear me when I say it.
It is that you do not need aperfect body.
Or even the perfect outfit toenjoy this summer.
You just need a heart anchoredin God's truth and the
willingness to show up withintention.
And that's exactly what we'regoing to keep building together
in this miniseries.
(21:07):
It's time to let go of mom,guilt's mama and start being the
mom that you want to be.
I know it's hard, but you can dohard things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
(21:27):
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you If you want to
(21:50):
connect even more, join theinsider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on the link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
It is summer and you're hot.
You're standing in front of themirror trying to decide between
shorts or a dress, but theshorts from last season don't
fit quite right and the strapson your dress, well, they make
your arms look quote unquoteweird, at least by what you're
seeing in the mirror.
So you let out a sigh, andbefore you know it, the thought
(00:23):
creeps in.
I have nothing to wear, which issomething we've all said in the
past.
If you feel like I justdescribed your summer morning,
mama, you are not alone.
Welcome to the summer confidenceminiseries where we're talking
honestly about body imageidentity, and how to show up
(00:43):
this season without wishing forfall to.
Hurry up and save us.
Let's dive in.
.Hey mama.
Are you tired of the constantmom guilt and wondering if
you're really enough?
You know God has called you formore, but peace feels like it's
(01:05):
just out of reach.
I'm Caroline Thao, host of theRestore Mind, and I'm so glad
you're here.
This is your safe space totrade, overwhelmed for
confidence, guilt for grace, andstep into the freedom God has
for you.
Ready?
Let's do this.
(01:26):
I got a question you've beendying to ask or just want to say
how much you love the show?
Well, now you can because nowyou can text me directly, which
is incredibly awesome and issuper easy.
There are no forms, no accounts.
Absolutely no fuss.
Just click the link in the shownotes and send me a quick note
(01:48):
like you're texting a friend.
The truth is, I love hearingfrom you and your messages help
shape future episodes.
So whether you have a question,Or just a little encouragement
that you wanna leave with me, Iwant to hear it.
And each week I'll pick one textto read on air.
So yours just might show up in afuture episode and a disclaimer
(02:11):
that I really feel like I needto share with you, so there are
no confusion.
When you send me a text message,I will not be able to reply to
you directly.
So if you are sending a messagethat needs a response or you
would like a response, pleasesend that over to
hello@restoredmindllc.com.
(02:33):
That's HELLO at restored mind.
llc.com and don't worry if youmissed it.
I'm also going to link the emailin the show notes as well.
I'll be honest with you,sometimes I don't always like my
(02:54):
body.
I know it's kind of interesting,right?
Because I don't really talkabout physical appearance on
this podcast.
As a matter of fact, I focus alot on faith, on mindset, and
even on.
Growing internally so that youcan be the best mom that you've
(03:14):
always imagined yourself to be.
So it might come off a littlebit new that I am talking about
physical bodies today, but Ithought it was the perfect way
to start off this summerconfidence miniseries because we
do see ourselves every day inthe mirror and we get dressed
every day so, I thought why nottalk about it?
(03:37):
It is part of our life.
And while I love a good comfylounge wear set, or even a cute
workout outfit, and if you knowme in real life, you know that I
am almost always in workoutclothes, which there's nothing
wrong with that, but lately I'vebeen wanting to dress up a
little bit more so what I didwas pull out some shorts And
(04:01):
what do you know?
They did not fit me the same formany reasons, Because over the
past year or two, my body haschanged, and even though I work
out pretty consistently still,my body has changed.
There's been some muscle growth.
Some weight gain and overall mymeasurements are not the same.
And to be honest with you, Ididn't love that my measurements
(04:22):
were getting bigger.
I started spiraling out ofcontrol with my own thoughts,
asking about all the things Ishould have done.
And wondering why I didn't dothose things, and that didn't
help because as I was staring atmyself in the mirror and just
picking myself apart, I startedalso blaming myself for all the
(04:44):
things that happened that Icouldn't change.
And, you know, life happens.
So along with not wanting toshow up some days and making
decisions that probably didn'talign best with my goals on top
of life happening itself, it's alot, but these are just real raw
moments in the life that welive.
(05:05):
And so one moment I wanted toget dressed up and feel a little
bit more pulled together.
And the next, I was back in gymshorts, which there's nothing
wrong with that, but I coupledit with I have nothing to wear,
and that made me stop and askmyself a hard question, what are
my clothes saying about how Ifeel about myself right now?
(05:29):
Maybe you've had a moment likethat too, where you just feel
stuck when you're trying to getdressed and feel put together
for the day, because the truthis sometimes we get dressed
based on fear, judgment, orfrustration, not from
confidence, and we throwsomething on just to quote
unquote get by or to hideinstead of choosing what helps
(05:49):
us feel present and comfortablein our own skin.
So let's start there, becauseeven getting dressed can be an
act of showing up withintention.
I've been guilty of this, butsince we're talking honestly
about confidence, I have toadmit that there have been times
where I pick outfits, notbecause I loved it, but because
(06:12):
I'm trying to hide a part of mybody that I don't particularly
like in that moment or theseason.
And yes, it does make sense thatif I am wearing a pair of shorts
or a dress that's a little bittighter on me and not my correct
size for the season my body isin, it'll further highlight the
bits that I'm not particularlyfond of, and it doesn't always
(06:37):
make me feel great, but I'lltell myself that it's passable.
So when I get a compliment frommy husband, it's not met with
gratitude, my body language, mytone of voice, they all suggest
that I halfway believe him andthat I'm being dismissive to a
compliment that he's giving me,which might make him think that
(06:57):
what he's saying doesn't matter.
And the truth is that's not whatI want to portray because I do
appreciate the compliment.
I am just struggling to receiveit when I'm not feeling great in
my own skin, which is a truetestament to how you feel
internally actually bleeds intohow you act outwardly and how
(07:18):
you are speaking to yourself aswell.
So when you are close that don'tnecessarily feel like you, you
can actually shrink backemotionally instead of being
present and feeling like you'reput together, you become
distracted, maybe evenuncomfortable, and.
Overly critical of yourself, andthis actually makes it harder
for you to enjoy the momentswith your family and can even
(07:41):
lead to you secretly comparingyourself to other mamas.
When I put on those pair ofshorts that I knew didn't fit
right, but I was just trying toget by, I could not wait to get
back home so that I could changeinto something more comfortable
and less restrictive.
And.
It took away some of the mostawesome moments that I could
have had with my kids.
(08:01):
It was such a horrible decisionthat I made.
So here's a couple of remindersthat I wanna share with you, and
that is for you to root yourconfidence in God, which is far
greater than you rooting yourconfidence in your physical
appearance Now.
Let me pause here because whenyou root your confidence in God,
it doesn't mean that you won'tever feel insecure.
(08:24):
There's gonna be days where likeme, you just simply do not like
what you see in the mirror.
But when you take a moment toremember God and remind yourself
that you are wonderfully made,it's going to.
First help you pause, and thenit's going to rewire your
mindset in that moment.
(08:45):
Change the dialogue of whatyou're saying to yourself so
that you can honor your body inthe best way.
That is also going to honor God.
It's showing respect for yourbody and your creator.
Because if you are constantlybashing on yourself, don't you
think that would break God'sheart that you are not seeing
(09:06):
the true beauty that is withinyou?
And the second reminder I wantto leave you with might catch
you off guard because you mightnot be thinking about your
husband in the middle of thesehard body image moments,
especially when you're standingin front of the mirror picking
yourself apart or pulled out allof your clothes trying to figure
out.
What to wear because you thinkyou have nothing to wear And in
(09:29):
your own head, you're trying tofigure it out.
Maybe you're even keeping thosethoughts private.
But here's why I bring him up.
It's because sometimes we forgetthat we don't have to carry
those thoughts alone.
Now, you might not think thatyou have to invite your husband
into that struggle, but trustme, he already sees you and the
reminder that I have for you isthat your husband still finds
(09:52):
you beautiful.
Not because of your body, butbecause of how you love and care
and nurture for the family thatyou two have created together.
So he sees the love and theheart that you pour into your
family, and that reminder isn't.
To dismiss your feelings by theway, it's meant to ground you in
truth that you are still loved,you are still seen and still
(10:15):
beautiful, even on days when youdon't feel like it.
And the third reminder that Iwanna share with you today that
also has a challenge with it, isthat you don't have to save your
quote unquote, nicer outfits fora special day.
So I challenge you to pull outthat beautiful sun dress.
Or maybe your summer linen pantsand create an outfit with it for
(10:38):
a grocery run.
I used to joke around that if Iever have an American wedding,
which by the way, little knownfact, I ended up having a
traditional Hmong wedding andnever actually an American
wedding.
Which is one that I dreamt ofhaving since I was a little
girl.
I mean, I had multiple weddingsas a little girl because I used
to sketch out my wedding dressesand.
(11:02):
While it is a joke that I wouldwear my wedding dress to vacuum
and cook and clean and do allthe things.
'cause let's face it, they're soexpensive.
The idea is that I'm not gonnasave my nice outfit for
something as special as.
A wedding, right?
So while realistically we arenot walking around in our
(11:24):
wedding dress, we probably havesomething in our closet right
now that we often save for maybea special date night or a
special brunch with ourgirlfriends.
Why not pull that out and wearit while you're going for a
simple grocery run?
It's gonna be so much fun andit's going to help you feel put
together in that moment.
(11:46):
As I'm speaking about this toyou right now, I am getting so
excited'cause I'm gonna do thismini challenge alongside you.
So this week we are not going tosave our quote unquote nice
pieces of clothes for a specialday, we're going to wear it like
we would as if today is aspecial day.
Because it truly is, and we'regoing to be intentionally
(12:08):
present with our family.
So if you decide to take on thischallenge, come share your
outfit pictures with me in myfree online community.
The link is gonna be posted inthe show notes for you, mama,
and I can't wait to see youthere.
So as you're doing this, askyourself, are my clothes helping
me to show up with intention ormake me want to hide?
(12:31):
Don't be afraid to let go ofpieces that make you want to
hide.
Opt for something that makes youfeel comfortable.
As a matter of fact, as I wastalking about my shorts earlier,
I've realized that once I try toput them on and force myself.
To wear them.
Well, I later realized thatthere was a pair of shorts that
I had that was actually too bigfor me about a summer or two
ago, and now it fits meperfectly in this season.
(12:55):
So that has since become my newfavorite pair of summer shorts.
So if those shorts or dresses orwhatever it is from a couple of
summers ago, if they're notfitting right, remember that you
do not have to force yourself towear it.
I 100% do not recommend.
I am guilty of this and trustme, you're probably be
(13:16):
uncomfortable the rest of thetime that you're trying to spend
time with your family and you'reactually going to want to wish
that you've put something elseon.
And finally pick something thatsupports what you prioritize the
most when it comes to youroutfits.
So for me, it's all aboutcomfort it what's working with
my body.
So if last summer's clothes arenot fitting right.
(13:39):
Grab something else.
And that has been one of mybiggest lessons, which probably
sounds like a no brainer, but asI am someone who is such a
visionary when I had an outfitin mind, I tend to just focus on
that and not anything else.
So if you're anything like me,take a moment and take a step
back and think about what's inyour closet right now that could
(14:00):
potentially work with what youenvisioned, or if you're able to
pivot in that moment, it's gonnabe incredibly.
Helpful.
Which leads me to my next point,because if you've ever stood in
front of the mirror, secondguessing what to wear or what
you see.
That's where we're gonna betalking about next because what
you say in the mirror matters.
(14:21):
Your internal dialogue aboutyour body, especially while
getting dressed has power, itcan either build you up or
reinforce lies that only bringfrustrations and insecurities.
And here's the thing, there is abig difference between being
honest with yourself andbelieving a lie.
Honesty sounds like this.
(14:41):
It's recognizing that maybe whatyou're putting on doesn't feel
like you anymore because yourstyle has changed.
And if you are working towards agoal, it's recognizing and
saying to yourself that you arestill working on yourself.
So you need to give yourselfspace and time to see the change
that you are working on.
(15:03):
But lies sound more like this.
It says that you're never goingto look good in anything no
matter what milestones you meet,or that you're never going to
get the confidence that you oncehad back.
And the bottom line is oneinvites growth while the other
invites shame.
You want to be mindful of whatyou're saying to yourself.
That doesn't mean that you'reignoring the reality of what you
(15:24):
see or pretending thateverything is perfect because
that's not going to help you outeither.
But it does mean that you aregoing to refuse to speak to
yourself.
In a way that tears you down,there's a difference between
honesty and harshness.
For example, towards the end ofspring, I noticed that my
clothes were fitting tighter.
(15:45):
And the scale had crept up.
And honestly, my first instinctwas to panic.
In fact, I would've gonestraight into desperation mode
if I was myself, maybe eventhree years ago.
So I would've cut out foods thatI enjoyed.
I would've overcorrected withintense workouts just to try to
quote unquote, fix it fast.
(16:07):
But this time with the habitsand the mindful awareness that
I've developed over the years, Islowed down and looked at what
had shifted over the past fewweeks and asked myself with
gentle care and honest questionslike, what's changed?
What do I need and what would itlook like to take care of myself
(16:29):
right now without going intopunishment mode?
These questions, helped meground myself without panicking.
And slow me down so that I wouldnot spiral into panic mode.
Because the truth is you canstill be honest with yourself,
but you don't have to be yourown worst critic.
Through the reflection, I'verealized that within the past
(16:50):
six to eight weeks, I had beenmore stressed.
I have not been sleeping well,and I've consumed more sugar
like sweet treats than Itypically would, so of course
that makes sense.
On top of that, I didn't meetall of my workout goals that I
had set myself up for the lastfew weeks, and so while I showed
up, it wasn't as consistent asit used to be, and this is just
(17:12):
being honest with myself Now ifI coupled that with words like,
I'm a failure or I'm lazy, orI'm not trying hard enough,
that's when you become your ownworst critic.
When your self-talk is filledwith criticism, it doesn't just
steal your joy in the moment.
It slowly trains your mind tolook for only the flaws in
(17:33):
everything.
And it's crazy to think that itstarts with how your body looks.
As you look at it in the mirror,but before you know it, you're
questioning whether you're doingenough.
As a mom, are you setting thebest example for your kids?
You're starting to think, maybemy husband doesn't love me
anymore because he's notattracted to me, and so you
(17:54):
start to distance yourself inyour marriage or maybe you're
wondering if you're failing inyour faith because you don't
feel as close to God as you oncedid.
It's so wild how one littlethought in front of the mirror
can open up the door to so muchdoubt When you become your own
worst critic and when you startto train your mind to look at
(18:14):
only the flaws, so we can changethat, right?
I challenge you today to thinkabout what you're saying to
yourself in the quiet momentswhen you say something like, I
hate how I look, I want you tofirst apologize to yourself and
then replace that statement thatyou just made with kindness or
motivation.
So I don't like how I look rightnow, but this is what I'm going
(18:37):
to do.
And then you take action onthat.
Okay?
And then take a deep breath andbring your thoughts to God with
gratitude giving thanks for yourbody that is able.
So if you're saying, I don'tlike how I look in this dress, I
can't stand my body the way thatit looks.
Take a moment, pause and thankGod that your body is still able
(18:58):
to move, that you can stillspend time with your family,
that you can still pick yourkids up, that you can still hold
your kids and make memories withthem this summer.
Your body is incredible.
It changes with time and duringseasons.
Your clothes are there to coveryou up, mama.
So do not let it dictate how youspeak to yourself.
(19:22):
So as we are nearing the end ofthis episode, I want to just
take a quick moment to recapeverything that we talked about,
because we took a look at a veryimportant question, and that is,
what are my clothes saying abouthow I feel?
It's a powerful question becauseit helps you reflect, are you
dressing from a place ofconfidence and comfort, or from
a place of hiding andfrustration?
(19:42):
And it also.
Highlights how you are speakingto yourself in the moment.
Remember, you don't have to saveyour quote unquote nice clothes
for a special day.
You can show up today withintention just as you are.
And don't forget the challenge,we're going to bring out our
nice clothes and wear it for asimple grocery run or wherever
(20:03):
it is you're going.
But the idea is that we are nolonger going to be stressing
about what doesn't fit, andwe're gonna focus on what does
fit.
If you do take this challengeon.
I would love for you to share itwith me in my free online
community.
The link is going to be in theshow notes for you.
What you say to yourselfabsolutely matters.
(20:25):
Your inner dialogue has power.
You can be honest without beingharsh.
So don't let your words tear youdown.
You can start speaking life overyour body instead of criticism.
And when you do that, you.
Open the door to peace,presence, and joy, and if
nothing else sticks out to youfrom this episode, I hope that
(20:46):
this does'cause I really wantyou to hear me when I say it.
It is that you do not need aperfect body.
Or even the perfect outfit toenjoy this summer.
You just need a heart anchoredin God's truth and the
willingness to show up withintention.
And that's exactly what we'regoing to keep building together
in this miniseries.
(21:07):
It's time to let go of mom,guilt's mama and start being the
mom that you want to be.
I know it's hard, but you can dohard things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
I had such a wonderful time.
(21:27):
I cannot wait to meet you againnext Wednesday.
Right here on this podcast.
Mamma.
I hope that as you are inspiredand uplifted, that you would
show up at all the spaces andplaces ready to serve with a
joyful heart.
And yes, with confidence.
Please take a moment to leave areview on apple podcasts.
It would bring me so much joyhearing from you If you want to
(21:50):
connect even more, join theinsider's list.
I would love to continue helpingyou as you journey on the link
to join the insider's list isgoing to be posted in the show
notes..
All right, my friend, this iswhere we part ways.
I hope you have a wonderful day.
Go in peace.
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