July 30, 2025 • 18 mins
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This episode is part of the Summer Confidence Mini Series for the mom who's ready to stop just surviving summer—and start growing with her kids. Show up with intention and peace instead of pressure and guilt.
Hey Mama!
Are you exhausted from trying to create the "perfect" summer for your kids? In this episode of the Summer Confidence Mini Series, we dive into how perfectionism steals your joy and adds unnecessary pressure to your family time. Drawing wisdom from the biblical story of Mary and Martha, we explore how to shift from performance-based parenting to presence-focused connection. Discover practical strategies to create a "pressure-free zone" this summer, where meaningful memories can naturally unfold without the overwhelm. Learn how to intentionally make space for spontaneity and rest, helping both you and your children enjoy what truly matters this season.
Key Takeaways:
- Perfectionism shifts your focus from people to performance, robbing you of the joy of being present with your family.
- Create a "pressure-free zone" by examining your intentions and trimming your summer bucket list to reduce overwhelm.
- Intentionally leave space in your schedule for unplanned moments, which often become the most treasured family memories.
✨ Join the Unplanned Joy Challenge this week and discover the freedom that comes when you let go of perfect summer expectations—linked in the show notes! ✨
Explore more from the Summer Confidence Mini Series:
- 124 | Feeling A Little Off This Summer? How To Beat Mom Guilt
- 125 | Stressed About Summer Clothes? Here's How To Reclaim Your Confidence Today
- 126 | Is Mom Guilt Wrecking Your Summer—Or Setting You Free?
More FREE Resources:
FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms
Become a Restored Mind Insider: https://restoredmindllc.myflodesk.com/insider
Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com
Work with me
Book your 1:1 call:- https://calendly.com/restoredmind
Ways You Can Give Back:
Leave A Review On Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-restored-mind-faith-building-self-doubt/id1654768629
I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Are you feeling overwhelmed bytrying to create an exciting and
awesome summer for your kids?
You want those perfect memories,but your schedule is packed.
Your nerves are fried, andsomehow it still doesn't feel
like enough.
This episode is part of theSummer Confidence Mini Series,
and today we're letting go ofthe pressure to do it all and
(00:24):
learning how to show up.
As the mom, we want to be fullof peace and with clear
intention.
Hey, mama.
--Tired of the constant guiltand wondering if you're getting
it right.
You are not alone, and you don'thave to stay stuck.
(00:45):
It's time to show up.
As the mom you want to be andnot the mom who's always drained
and snapping at her family.
Welcome to the Restored MindPodcast.
I'm your host, Caroline Thao,and this is your safe space to
trade, constant overwhelm formeaningful connection and guilt
(01:05):
for the precious moments ahead.
Ready?
Let's do this.
Hey mama.
I'd love to hear from you andfeature your voice on the
podcast.
Do you have a question aboutmotherhood, faith, or just want
to share how the show has helpedyou?
(01:27):
Well, now you can, and it'sincredibly simple.
Just tap the link at the top ofthe show notes.
It opens up like you're textinga friend.
And your message might befeatured on an upcoming episode,
so that's incredibly exciting.
See, your stories and questionare really what makes this
community incredibly special.
(01:49):
They often inspire futureepisodes as well.
And while I can't reply directlythrough text, I'm truly excited
to hear what is on your heart.
If you need a response from mepersonally, please email me at
hello@restoredmindllc.com.
That's spelled out in the shownotes for you in case you missed
(02:09):
it.
And mama, I can't wait to hearfrom you.
I grew up in Georgia and afterwe got married, we moved far
from family.
My parents and our best friendswould make time to visit us for
the holidays and randomweekends, which was nice.
And while I loved having them, Ihave to admit, I got incredibly
(02:29):
stressed before their arrival,and it wasn't really about
hosting them at all.
It was my preparation.
That stressed me out.
I would spend the entire weekcleaning, doing laundry, and
planning every meal for myparents' visit.
I'd make special trips to theAsian store for snacks that they
would enjoy, and because my dadloves to drink coffee in the
(02:51):
mornings.
I made sure I had purchasedlittle pastries for him to enjoy
and snack on as he was drinkinghis coffee.
In my mind, everything had to beperfect, so once I cleaned the
room, it needed to stay thatway, which is completely
unrealistic with a toddler.
But I was convinced if anythingwas outta place, they would
(03:12):
notice I wasn't just preparingfor their visit.
I was trying to create aPinterest perfect home.
By the time they arrived, I wasexhausted and instead of eagerly
anticipating time with peoplethat I loved, I was staging a
tiny apartment like it was ashowing my obsession with a
spotless house.
(03:33):
Perfectly planned meals andempty laundry baskets made me
frustrated and irritable.
I completely missed the point ofthem coming to visit because
what should have been a joyfulreunion became stressful.
Performances where I was tootired to actually enjoy their
(03:53):
company.
This perfectionist approach isexactly what I catch myself
doing with summer plans, tryingto craft picture perfect
experiences while missing thesimple joys that make summer
special.
So let's talk about that.
Let's talk about how perfectionsteals your joy, and to paint a
(04:14):
picture for you.
I wanna focus on the story ofMartha and Mary from the Bible.
In Luke, We see that Jesus hasentered a village and Martha
welcomed him into her house.
Martha has a sister named Marywho ends up sitting at Jesus'
feet.
Martha, however, was distractedand ends up asking Jesus if he
(04:37):
even cares that she's the onlyone serving and asks for Jesus
to tell Mary to help her.
But Jesus responds in a way thatwe can all use as encouragement
to pause and think about theintention behind our actions.
Jesus says, Martha.
Martha, you are anxious andtroubled about many things, but
(04:59):
one thing is necessary.
Mary has chosen the goodportion, which will not be taken
away from her, and that camefrom Luke chapter 10, verse 42.
The footnote for this verse,when it comes to the word
necessary, clarifies that onlyone thing is necessary.
So this makes me wonder what isabsolutely necessary for you
(05:23):
this summer.
Is it performance or connectionwith your family?
And when I say performance, Imean the act of doing things
perfectly.
See, perfectionism creates anever ending checklist that is
impossible to complete.
When you're trying to be theperfect mom and create the
(05:45):
perfect summer experience,planning every activity, filling
every day, making sure thateverything is Instagram worthy,
you end up exhausted and unableto fully enjoy any of it.
So don't be like me and becomeexhausted before the fun even
begins when you operate from aperfectionist mindset, you end
(06:08):
up shifting your focus from thepeople who matters most to you,
to being focused on only theoutcome.
Even though your intention is tofocus on the people that matters
most to you see, you get stuckin doing all of the quote
unquote serving like Martha, andthis what matters most.
You can become consumed with howthings look or the outcome
(06:32):
rather than enjoying the timethat's been given to you.
And this leads you to do what Idid preparing your home, or in
this case, summer plans.
Like it is a showing instead ofactually preparing with the
excitement to spend time withyour family.
Now I want to be clear.
Serving others like Marthawanted to do isn't the problem?
(06:54):
Her heart to serve Jesus wasbeautiful.
The issue was that her focus onperfect service created a
situation where she missed thewhole point of Jesus's presence.
Joy does not come fromperfection.
Perfection only keeps you stuckin frustration, and that can
lead to you snapping at yourfamily when you intended the
(07:16):
moments to be fun and engaging.
It's not about choosing betweencreating memories and enjoying
them, but about being present inthe moment.
Just like Mary chose to be fullypresent with Jesus.
So how can we begin to let go ofthis perfection and still be
(07:37):
intentional with our summerwithout giving up?
I think a great way of doingthat would be to begin to let go
of perfection bit by bit.
It does not have to be an all ornothing journey, You can take
bite-sized pieces So that you'reable to adjust accordingly.
A great thing to also do isnotice When you're feeling
overwhelmed by your ownexpectations, remind yourself of
(08:00):
the reason why you wanted tospend time with your family.
What was the point of theactivity in the first place?
What if the memories yourchildren treasure most aren't
the perfectly plannedactivities, but the moment when
you were fully present withthem?
Maybe you feel overwhelmedbecause your calendar is full of
summer activities.
(08:20):
What would it look like for youto pick one or two things from
that list and let go of theothers so that everyone can
decompress?
How would that affect your moodor even the dynamics of your
family?
So now that we talked about howperfection steals your joy,
let's talk about how it alsoadds pressure to your life
(08:41):
Perfection is like a bad friendwho influences us to do
something we know we shouldn'tbe doing.
It essentially pretends to helpbut actually adds pressure that
we don't need for summer.
Specifically, this pressurecenters around the bucket list,
so the things that you want todo this summer, trying to pack
(09:01):
in educational activities,family trips, and weekend plans,
all because we want to give ourkids the quote unquote perfect
summer experience.
There's also the pressure ofcomparison.
Seeing families summer andfeeling inadequate, whether your
schedule looks too empty or toofull, and for many financial
(09:22):
reasons, also add another layerof stress because you want to do
everything, but maybe yourfinances are saying that you
can't.
I actually talk about this inepisode 126 of the Summer
Confidence Series, which I'lllink in the description for you
in case you missed it.
So why do we put this pressureon ourselves?
Well, it's because we love ourkids and we want to give them
(09:45):
the best experiences.
There's the cultural norm.
The summer should be specialbecause our kids are home Monday
through Friday instead of beingat school all those days.
And if your kids arehomeschooled, your summer rhythm
will look different, and that'scompletely okay.
but we're all moms livingdifferent lives with unique
family dynamics, and summeritself often feels like a
(10:08):
limited time that we get toenjoy with our family.
Right?
So the pressure is on makingsummer the most awesome and
entertainment filled season yetis exhausting.
So how can we give them a greatsummer without burnout?
Let's look at two things.
First, examine your intentionand ask where is this pressure
(10:32):
coming from?
Is it internal as in, am Itrying to top last year's
summer, or is it external?
As in am I comparing myself toother families?
The second is to evaluate thatbucket list.
If it's overflowing, what canyou remove to reduce the
overwhelm and financial stressonce you understand your
(10:53):
pressure source and trim yourbucket list, you'll create what
I call a pressure free zone.
Your safe space to decompresswithout mom guilt.
A great way to start with eitherof these is reflecting on your
intention in evaluating yourbucket list to set realistic
expectations not every day needsto be exciting and filled with
(11:14):
activities.
Once you begin to gain anunderstanding of where your
source or pressure is comingfrom and removing the items off
your bucket list, you move intowhat I call the pressure free
zone.
And I'm going to share with youone of my favorite ways to
remove this pressure and guilt,and that is simply by asking my
kids what they want to do.
(11:35):
It gives me permission to notoverthink or even over plan I
have three kids, so sometimesthat means three very different
activities are being thrown atme, but that's where priorities
come in because I have to thinkabout what our finances are
going to allow for the moment.
What is realistic in the timeschedule that we have and what
(11:55):
is actually doable.
So once all the priorities arein place, we can then put the
activity into a vote.
And if there's two activitiesthat we can do, out of the
three, whichever one has themost vote wins.
Sometimes that might mean thatone person is the odd man out
and we're going to just.
Do that one activity, which isfine because they know that the
(12:18):
next time we can do the nextactivity that they wanna do,
which also doubles as a secondhack.
It gives two awesome benefits.
So let the kids choose.
Take your priorities and factorthat in, let the kids vote and
then whatever wins for that dayis the activity that we are all
doing.
And then the next time, thesecond activity was what we'll
(12:39):
do next, which saves me time andI don't have to plan.
And it's amazing.?
So what can actually happen whenyou begin to take that pressure
off of you to make Summer moreenjoyable?
Let's start off by celebratingthe fact that you will have room
in your summer plans to take abreather, and it's not only
great for you, but for yourkids.
(13:02):
They get to have downtime too.
There was a time where my littlefamily and I were out having a
good time, and my youngestrandomly requested to go home.
I asked what she wanted to do athome and she simply said, I just
wanna sit on my couch.
And at first I thought that wasa very silly response because we
were all having fun.
(13:23):
But as I thought about it more,I realized she was
overstimulated and wanted afamiliar space to decompress.
And you know what that remindsme of?
It reminds me that it is good tobe still and rest in the midst
of summer when everyone seems tobe on the go.
Slowing down helps you begrateful for the time, the
(13:44):
season that you're in and foryour family.
Your family will naturally adaptto these calmer days and they'll
gravitate towards what trulyinterests them.
My daughters tap into thecreative side while my son
places video games or practicesbasketball.
And this freedom to follow theirnatural interests isn't just
good for them They get to dosomething that they enjoy as
(14:07):
well.
When you embrace this breathingroom, you leave room for
spontaneous activities to takeplace.
If you are a planner, this mightbe hard for you.
Trust me.
I used to be such a book by bookplanner where I didn't want
anything to detour my plans.
And if I'm being honest, some ofour favorite memories came from
(14:30):
unplanned adventures.
Remember Mary?
Who chose to sit at Jesus' feetrather than rushing around, see,
she understood somethingpowerful.
That presence matters more thanperfection.
And when we create space in oursummer, we are making that same
(14:50):
choice.
Mary did.
Choosing what Jesus called thegood portion.
We're saying that being presentwith our family matters more
than checking everything off ofour bucket list.
See these adventures that wehad, they weren't extravagant
either.
One summer, we went to the parkafter dinner and ended up
(15:11):
getting ice cream at our localshop.
I didn't realize how impactfulit was until we went back to
that same location when we tookour dog to the vet and when they
saw that shop, it sparked amemory for them.
They brought up that summernight and how they enjoyed
making me dizzy on theplayground and remembered having
(15:31):
ice cream afterwards.
these unexpected moments of joy.
Make me wonder how can weintentionally create more space
for unexpected moments in oursummer?
The best way to have that quoteunquote pressure free zone that
I like to call it and allowspace for spontaneous adventures
is by intentionally leaving yourcalendar blank.
(15:54):
If you are a scheduler, youcould block out a specific time
and label it as nothing day ormaybe free time might be a
better wording for you because.
I know it took a while for me tostart letting go of the planning
and the scheduling, and when Ididn't have anything on that
calendar, it almost felt like Iwas being lazy, like I didn't.
(16:15):
Have anything planned for theday, and it felt weird for me
personally.
Now that I have moved a littlebit away from that, I prefer to
have a general idea of what myday will look like and then let
the day unfold as it comes.
But I just don't want to tellyou about this.
I want you to experience it foryourself, which leads me right
(16:38):
into my weekly challenge for youif you've been following the
summer Confidence Mini series,with every episode that's
released, I've given you areally fun challenge.
So this one's not any different.
This one here is called theUnplanned Joy Challenge, and
here's your mission.
You are going to set aside oneday this week with no planned
(16:58):
activities and simply followwhat naturally unfolds whatever
that day brings, notice the winsand capture those memories.
I'll be doing this challengeright alongside you, and if you
decide to take it on, I wouldlove to hear how it went.
Join my free online communitylinked in the show notes and let
(17:18):
me know what your wins were forthat day..
All right.
As we are wrapping up, I'm justgoing to recap this episode for
you really quickly.
I want you to remember threethings.
One is that perfection stealsyour joy by focusing from people
to performance, like MarthaMissing Jesus's presence while
Mary chose the good portion.
(17:40):
And secondly, I want you toremember that we create
unnecessary pressure by tryingto make summer perfect.
So examine where your intentionsare coming from and trim your
bucket list to create apressure-free zone.
And lastly, create space in yourschedule, you make time for
spontaneous moments that oftenbecome the most treasured
(18:01):
memories.
And Mama, I know that thetemptation and the pressure.
Of checking everything off.
That bucket list can be hard,but I want you to enjoy your
summer without giving up, and Iknow that you can do hard
things.
(18:23):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today, mama.
I had a lot of fun.
I'll see you next Wednesday,right here on the podcast, and
my prayer is that you'll show upin all the spaces of your life
ready to serve with a joyfulheart and with confidence.
Until then, go in peace.
Are you feeling overwhelmed bytrying to create an exciting and
awesome summer for your kids?
You want those perfect memories,but your schedule is packed.
Your nerves are fried, andsomehow it still doesn't feel
like enough.
This episode is part of theSummer Confidence Mini Series,
and today we're letting go ofthe pressure to do it all and
(00:24):
learning how to show up.
As the mom, we want to be fullof peace and with clear
intention.
Hey, mama.
--Tired of the constant guiltand wondering if you're getting
it right.
You are not alone, and you don'thave to stay stuck.
(00:45):
It's time to show up.
As the mom you want to be andnot the mom who's always drained
and snapping at her family.
Welcome to the Restored MindPodcast.
I'm your host, Caroline Thao,and this is your safe space to
trade, constant overwhelm formeaningful connection and guilt
(01:05):
for the precious moments ahead.
Ready?
Let's do this.
Hey mama.
I'd love to hear from you andfeature your voice on the
podcast.
Do you have a question aboutmotherhood, faith, or just want
to share how the show has helpedyou?
(01:27):
Well, now you can, and it'sincredibly simple.
Just tap the link at the top ofthe show notes.
It opens up like you're textinga friend.
And your message might befeatured on an upcoming episode,
so that's incredibly exciting.
See, your stories and questionare really what makes this
community incredibly special.
(01:49):
They often inspire futureepisodes as well.
And while I can't reply directlythrough text, I'm truly excited
to hear what is on your heart.
If you need a response from mepersonally, please email me at
hello@restoredmindllc.com.
That's spelled out in the shownotes for you in case you missed
(02:09):
it.
And mama, I can't wait to hearfrom you.
I grew up in Georgia and afterwe got married, we moved far
from family.
My parents and our best friendswould make time to visit us for
the holidays and randomweekends, which was nice.
And while I loved having them, Ihave to admit, I got incredibly
(02:29):
stressed before their arrival,and it wasn't really about
hosting them at all.
It was my preparation.
That stressed me out.
I would spend the entire weekcleaning, doing laundry, and
planning every meal for myparents' visit.
I'd make special trips to theAsian store for snacks that they
would enjoy, and because my dadloves to drink coffee in the
(02:51):
mornings.
I made sure I had purchasedlittle pastries for him to enjoy
and snack on as he was drinkinghis coffee.
In my mind, everything had to beperfect, so once I cleaned the
room, it needed to stay thatway, which is completely
unrealistic with a toddler.
But I was convinced if anythingwas outta place, they would
(03:12):
notice I wasn't just preparingfor their visit.
I was trying to create aPinterest perfect home.
By the time they arrived, I wasexhausted and instead of eagerly
anticipating time with peoplethat I loved, I was staging a
tiny apartment like it was ashowing my obsession with a
spotless house.
(03:33):
Perfectly planned meals andempty laundry baskets made me
frustrated and irritable.
I completely missed the point ofthem coming to visit because
what should have been a joyfulreunion became stressful.
Performances where I was tootired to actually enjoy their
(03:53):
company.
This perfectionist approach isexactly what I catch myself
doing with summer plans, tryingto craft picture perfect
experiences while missing thesimple joys that make summer
special.
So let's talk about that.
Let's talk about how perfectionsteals your joy, and to paint a
(04:14):
picture for you.
I wanna focus on the story ofMartha and Mary from the Bible.
In Luke, We see that Jesus hasentered a village and Martha
welcomed him into her house.
Martha has a sister named Marywho ends up sitting at Jesus'
feet.
Martha, however, was distractedand ends up asking Jesus if he
(04:37):
even cares that she's the onlyone serving and asks for Jesus
to tell Mary to help her.
But Jesus responds in a way thatwe can all use as encouragement
to pause and think about theintention behind our actions.
Jesus says, Martha.
Martha, you are anxious andtroubled about many things, but
(04:59):
one thing is necessary.
Mary has chosen the goodportion, which will not be taken
away from her, and that camefrom Luke chapter 10, verse 42.
The footnote for this verse,when it comes to the word
necessary, clarifies that onlyone thing is necessary.
So this makes me wonder what isabsolutely necessary for you
(05:23):
this summer.
Is it performance or connectionwith your family?
And when I say performance, Imean the act of doing things
perfectly.
See, perfectionism creates anever ending checklist that is
impossible to complete.
When you're trying to be theperfect mom and create the
(05:45):
perfect summer experience,planning every activity, filling
every day, making sure thateverything is Instagram worthy,
you end up exhausted and unableto fully enjoy any of it.
So don't be like me and becomeexhausted before the fun even
begins when you operate from aperfectionist mindset, you end
(06:08):
up shifting your focus from thepeople who matters most to you,
to being focused on only theoutcome.
Even though your intention is tofocus on the people that matters
most to you see, you get stuckin doing all of the quote
unquote serving like Martha, andthis what matters most.
You can become consumed with howthings look or the outcome
(06:32):
rather than enjoying the timethat's been given to you.
And this leads you to do what Idid preparing your home, or in
this case, summer plans.
Like it is a showing instead ofactually preparing with the
excitement to spend time withyour family.
Now I want to be clear.
Serving others like Marthawanted to do isn't the problem?
(06:54):
Her heart to serve Jesus wasbeautiful.
The issue was that her focus onperfect service created a
situation where she missed thewhole point of Jesus's presence.
Joy does not come fromperfection.
Perfection only keeps you stuckin frustration, and that can
lead to you snapping at yourfamily when you intended the
(07:16):
moments to be fun and engaging.
It's not about choosing betweencreating memories and enjoying
them, but about being present inthe moment.
Just like Mary chose to be fullypresent with Jesus.
So how can we begin to let go ofthis perfection and still be
(07:37):
intentional with our summerwithout giving up?
I think a great way of doingthat would be to begin to let go
of perfection bit by bit.
It does not have to be an all ornothing journey, You can take
bite-sized pieces So that you'reable to adjust accordingly.
A great thing to also do isnotice When you're feeling
overwhelmed by your ownexpectations, remind yourself of
(08:00):
the reason why you wanted tospend time with your family.
What was the point of theactivity in the first place?
What if the memories yourchildren treasure most aren't
the perfectly plannedactivities, but the moment when
you were fully present withthem?
Maybe you feel overwhelmedbecause your calendar is full of
summer activities.
(08:20):
What would it look like for youto pick one or two things from
that list and let go of theothers so that everyone can
decompress?
How would that affect your moodor even the dynamics of your
family?
So now that we talked about howperfection steals your joy,
let's talk about how it alsoadds pressure to your life
(08:41):
Perfection is like a bad friendwho influences us to do
something we know we shouldn'tbe doing.
It essentially pretends to helpbut actually adds pressure that
we don't need for summer.
Specifically, this pressurecenters around the bucket list,
so the things that you want todo this summer, trying to pack
(09:01):
in educational activities,family trips, and weekend plans,
all because we want to give ourkids the quote unquote perfect
summer experience.
There's also the pressure ofcomparison.
Seeing families summer andfeeling inadequate, whether your
schedule looks too empty or toofull, and for many financial
(09:22):
reasons, also add another layerof stress because you want to do
everything, but maybe yourfinances are saying that you
can't.
I actually talk about this inepisode 126 of the Summer
Confidence Series, which I'lllink in the description for you
in case you missed it.
So why do we put this pressureon ourselves?
Well, it's because we love ourkids and we want to give them
(09:45):
the best experiences.
There's the cultural norm.
The summer should be specialbecause our kids are home Monday
through Friday instead of beingat school all those days.
And if your kids arehomeschooled, your summer rhythm
will look different, and that'scompletely okay.
but we're all moms livingdifferent lives with unique
family dynamics, and summeritself often feels like a
(10:08):
limited time that we get toenjoy with our family.
Right?
So the pressure is on makingsummer the most awesome and
entertainment filled season yetis exhausting.
So how can we give them a greatsummer without burnout?
Let's look at two things.
First, examine your intentionand ask where is this pressure
(10:32):
coming from?
Is it internal as in, am Itrying to top last year's
summer, or is it external?
As in am I comparing myself toother families?
The second is to evaluate thatbucket list.
If it's overflowing, what canyou remove to reduce the
overwhelm and financial stressonce you understand your
(10:53):
pressure source and trim yourbucket list, you'll create what
I call a pressure free zone.
Your safe space to decompresswithout mom guilt.
A great way to start with eitherof these is reflecting on your
intention in evaluating yourbucket list to set realistic
expectations not every day needsto be exciting and filled with
(11:14):
activities.
Once you begin to gain anunderstanding of where your
source or pressure is comingfrom and removing the items off
your bucket list, you move intowhat I call the pressure free
zone.
And I'm going to share with youone of my favorite ways to
remove this pressure and guilt,and that is simply by asking my
kids what they want to do.
(11:35):
It gives me permission to notoverthink or even over plan I
have three kids, so sometimesthat means three very different
activities are being thrown atme, but that's where priorities
come in because I have to thinkabout what our finances are
going to allow for the moment.
What is realistic in the timeschedule that we have and what
(11:55):
is actually doable.
So once all the priorities arein place, we can then put the
activity into a vote.
And if there's two activitiesthat we can do, out of the
three, whichever one has themost vote wins.
Sometimes that might mean thatone person is the odd man out
and we're going to just.
Do that one activity, which isfine because they know that the
(12:18):
next time we can do the nextactivity that they wanna do,
which also doubles as a secondhack.
It gives two awesome benefits.
So let the kids choose.
Take your priorities and factorthat in, let the kids vote and
then whatever wins for that dayis the activity that we are all
doing.
And then the next time, thesecond activity was what we'll
(12:39):
do next, which saves me time andI don't have to plan.
And it's amazing.?
So what can actually happen whenyou begin to take that pressure
off of you to make Summer moreenjoyable?
Let's start off by celebratingthe fact that you will have room
in your summer plans to take abreather, and it's not only
great for you, but for yourkids.
(13:02):
They get to have downtime too.
There was a time where my littlefamily and I were out having a
good time, and my youngestrandomly requested to go home.
I asked what she wanted to do athome and she simply said, I just
wanna sit on my couch.
And at first I thought that wasa very silly response because we
were all having fun.
(13:23):
But as I thought about it more,I realized she was
overstimulated and wanted afamiliar space to decompress.
And you know what that remindsme of?
It reminds me that it is good tobe still and rest in the midst
of summer when everyone seems tobe on the go.
Slowing down helps you begrateful for the time, the
(13:44):
season that you're in and foryour family.
Your family will naturally adaptto these calmer days and they'll
gravitate towards what trulyinterests them.
My daughters tap into thecreative side while my son
places video games or practicesbasketball.
And this freedom to follow theirnatural interests isn't just
good for them They get to dosomething that they enjoy as
(14:07):
well.
When you embrace this breathingroom, you leave room for
spontaneous activities to takeplace.
If you are a planner, this mightbe hard for you.
Trust me.
I used to be such a book by bookplanner where I didn't want
anything to detour my plans.
And if I'm being honest, some ofour favorite memories came from
(14:30):
unplanned adventures.
Remember Mary?
Who chose to sit at Jesus' feetrather than rushing around, see,
she understood somethingpowerful.
That presence matters more thanperfection.
And when we create space in oursummer, we are making that same
(14:50):
choice.
Mary did.
Choosing what Jesus called thegood portion.
We're saying that being presentwith our family matters more
than checking everything off ofour bucket list.
See these adventures that wehad, they weren't extravagant
either.
One summer, we went to the parkafter dinner and ended up
(15:11):
getting ice cream at our localshop.
I didn't realize how impactfulit was until we went back to
that same location when we tookour dog to the vet and when they
saw that shop, it sparked amemory for them.
They brought up that summernight and how they enjoyed
making me dizzy on theplayground and remembered having
(15:31):
ice cream afterwards.
these unexpected moments of joy.
Make me wonder how can weintentionally create more space
for unexpected moments in oursummer?
The best way to have that quoteunquote pressure free zone that
I like to call it and allowspace for spontaneous adventures
is by intentionally leaving yourcalendar blank.
(15:54):
If you are a scheduler, youcould block out a specific time
and label it as nothing day ormaybe free time might be a
better wording for you because.
I know it took a while for me tostart letting go of the planning
and the scheduling, and when Ididn't have anything on that
calendar, it almost felt like Iwas being lazy, like I didn't.
(16:15):
Have anything planned for theday, and it felt weird for me
personally.
Now that I have moved a littlebit away from that, I prefer to
have a general idea of what myday will look like and then let
the day unfold as it comes.
But I just don't want to tellyou about this.
I want you to experience it foryourself, which leads me right
(16:38):
into my weekly challenge for youif you've been following the
summer Confidence Mini series,with every episode that's
released, I've given you areally fun challenge.
So this one's not any different.
This one here is called theUnplanned Joy Challenge, and
here's your mission.
You are going to set aside oneday this week with no planned
(16:58):
activities and simply followwhat naturally unfolds whatever
that day brings, notice the winsand capture those memories.
I'll be doing this challengeright alongside you, and if you
decide to take it on, I wouldlove to hear how it went.
Join my free online communitylinked in the show notes and let
(17:18):
me know what your wins were forthat day..
All right.
As we are wrapping up, I'm justgoing to recap this episode for
you really quickly.
I want you to remember threethings.
One is that perfection stealsyour joy by focusing from people
to performance, like MarthaMissing Jesus's presence while
Mary chose the good portion.
(17:40):
And secondly, I want you toremember that we create
unnecessary pressure by tryingto make summer perfect.
So examine where your intentionsare coming from and trim your
bucket list to create apressure-free zone.
And lastly, create space in yourschedule, you make time for
spontaneous moments that oftenbecome the most treasured
(18:01):
memories.
And Mama, I know that thetemptation and the pressure.
Of checking everything off.
That bucket list can be hard,but I want you to enjoy your
summer without giving up, and Iknow that you can do hard
things.
(18:23):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today, mama.
I had a lot of fun.
I'll see you next Wednesday,right here on the podcast, and
my prayer is that you'll show upin all the spaces of your life
ready to serve with a joyfulheart and with confidence.
Until then, go in peace.
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