August 6, 2025 • 24 mins
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This episode is part of the Summer Confidence Mini Series, designed to guide Christian moms out of survival mode and into intentional leadership. Learn how to turn chaotic summer days into meaningful memories.
Hey Mama!
If you've been feeling like you're constantly playing catch-up this summer—torn between keeping your home in order and being present with your kids—you're not alone. In this episode, we’ll explore why summer feels so overwhelming for moms and how to shift from frustration to intentional leadership, right where you are. Discover how to manage the mess, reclaim peace in your home, and focus on what truly matters without sacrificing your sanity or joy.
Key takeaways:
- Identify your non-negotiable spaces (just 1-2 areas) instead of trying to keep your entire home perfect, which allows you to maintain sanity while still making summer memories.
- Challenge the pressure-inducing thoughts with God's truth, especially Philippians 4:8-9, practicing "thoughtful rest" to redirect your attention to what holds eternal value.
- Lead through the chaos by involving your kids in solutions, creating simple bonding activities like card games, and learning to "read the room" to balance productivity with your family's needs.
✨ Join the "Catch-Up Power Hour" challenge this week and win your time back so you can have more family time—linked in the show notes! ✨
Explore more from the Summer Confidence Mini Series:
- 124 | Feeling A Little Off This Summer? How To Beat Mom Guilt
- 125 | Stressed About Summer Clothes? Here's How To Reclaim Your Confidence Today
- 126 | Is Mom Guilt Wrecking Your Summer—Or Setting You Free?
- 127 | Tired Of Trying To Make Summer Perfect? How To Let Go Without Giving Up
More FREE Resources:
FREE Community: https://bit.ly/buildingconfidenceforchristianmoms
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Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com
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I'm excited to connect with you! Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Feeling like you can't keep upthis summer with kids home.
The house is messier than ever.
And that to-do list, well, it'sgrowing by the minute.
And this episode of the SummerConfidence miniseries, discover
Why you feel so behind and getactionable steps to finally
catch up in the midst of thesummer.
(00:20):
Chaos, all without sacrificingwhat matters most.
Hey mama.
Tired of the constant guilt andwondering if you're getting it
right.
You are not alone, and you don'thave to stay stuck.
It's time to show up as the momyou want to be and not the mom
(00:44):
who's always drained andsnapping at her family.
Welcome to The Restored MindPodcast.
I'm your host, Caroline Tao, andthis is your safe space to trade
constant.
Overwhelm for meaningfulconnection and guilt for the
precious moments ahead.
Ready?
Let's do this.
(01:10):
Hey mama.
I would love to hear your heartand maybe even feature your
voice on the podcast.
Have a question aboutmotherhood, faith, or just want
to share how an episode touchedyou.
Just tap the link at the top ofthe show notes.
It opens up like you're textinga friend.
Your stories and questions arewhat make this community so
(01:33):
incredibly special, and whoknows your message might inspire
a future episode or encourageanother mom who's walking a
similar path.
Either way, I can't wait to hearfrom you.
When my family and I moved toCalifornia last year, I had this
vision of a smooth transition.
(01:57):
I thought we would quicklyunpack boxes, have our furniture
perfectly arranged.
And still have plenty of time toexplore our new community.
But the reality was that it wasabsolute chaos.
For weeks, we were living in amaze of half empty boxes, and
(02:17):
whenever I needed somethingsimple like bath towels, it
would turn into a 20 minutetreasure hunt, So what I ended
up doing was I made a targettrip, which by the way, I'm not
upset about.
But here's what reallyfrustrated me.
I caught myself between twoimportant things.
First is I wanted our home tofeel settled and organized, but.
(02:43):
I also wanted to give my kids agreat summer before school
started.
I mean, we had just traveledacross country and they were in
a new community, so I wanted usto at least make the best of
what was left of our summer.
And that meant we would taketime to go to local beaches,
explore hiking trails, all whilemaking these new memories.
(03:06):
But every day I would lookaround at the mess and think.
I am so behind that feeling ofconstantly playing catch up was
exhausting to say the least.
I would make progress in onearea, only to fall behind in
another.
So Mama, if that soundsfamiliar, you're not alone.
(03:27):
That constant feeling of I can'tkeep up.
Is exactly what we're talkingabout today.
So let's talk about why you feelso behind in the first place and
why that summer chaos feels sooverwhelming when you are trying
to juggle it all.
(03:47):
The reality of summer with kidsat home is that there is going
to be constant messes, so we'regoing to be dealing with endless
dishes, laundry piles, and toys.
Everywhere.
It feels like when you clean onearea of your home, you'll turn
around and see that another areaneeds some TLC as well.
(04:11):
Summer activities also create acertain kind of mess as well,
especially with my daughters.
There are scrap paperseverywhere, marker tops left on
the counter and on the floor.
Other times.
It's from making their favoritebreakfast items, which are
pancakes.
Now, don't get me wrong, it'sone of my favorite ways that I
(04:32):
get to bond with my daughters.
So while they are measuring andmixing all of the ingredients
together, I'm usually heating upthe pan and preparing the
proteins.
But with them mixing andmeasuring, that also means that
there's going to be spilledflowers and eggs on the counter
and possibly the floor.
(04:53):
And there's definitely going tobe batter that ends up on the
stove from them pouring it intothe pan.
Since we're on the topic offood, I've also noticed that.
They snack throughout the dayand will leave the wrappers or
crumbs everywhere.
My son is growing.
He's 10 years old and hisappetite has shot up So after
(05:13):
his meals, he's always snackingor looking for something to eat,
and all of this just contributesto the mess and the amount of
dishes that needs to be washedthroughout the day.
My two girls are also goingthrough a stage where they
change frequently.
If you are a girl mom, you canprobably relate to this, but
(05:34):
they change about three to fourtimes a day, so I'm finding it
harder this summer to keep upwith laundry because of that.
All of these things that I havementioned, are the reason why
the cleaning cycle feels likeit's never ending.
It makes you feel like you'restruggling to keep up with the
demands inside your home.
(05:55):
Now, you might be wondering whythis feels overwhelming and it's
because.
You're essentially trying tobalance cleaning with memory
making, and it can be animpossible standard if you are
setting unrealisticexpectations..
See, during the school year, Ihave found that my dishes are
(06:16):
quite minimal because everyoneis on a routine.
Most mornings I'll havebreakfast with my kids before we
go to school, and then when Icome back from dropping them
off, I'll clean the dishes andthen I'm off for my morning walk
or run, depending on the day.
And then once I get back, I'llfocus on my podcast or any work
that needs to be done for mysmall business.
(06:36):
The house is quieter so thatmeans distractions are minimal
and it's easier for me to focusand get through the day.
And so my routine during thesummertime has not looked
anything like that.
Even though my intentions wereto stick to my routine, it just
isn't happening.
And if I'm being honest, it'sbecause summer changes my role
(06:57):
It also changes your role as apart-time cleaner and mom to
full-time everything.
Now, let me clarify.
We all know that our role as amom doesn't change no matter
where our kids are at, But theamount of attention that we need
to focus on with our kids isdefinitely different when
they're at school.
Because during the school year,your active mom duties might be
(07:21):
concentrated in the mornings andmaybe in the late afternoons
into the evenings, but duringthe summer, you're on full-time
all day Mom duties with littleto no breaks, and if you have.
Kids that are not yet in school,you're on mom duty 100% of the
time and it can get stressful aswell.
(07:44):
So how do we break free fromthis frustrating cycle of
feeling constantly behind?
Well, it starts first with ourmindset.
We have to acknowledge that forthis brief moment, you're in a
different season.
The routine that worked whilethey were in school is no longer
a working routine.
And once you've acknowledgedthat your season has changed,
(08:06):
the next step is identifyingyour non-negotiables.
These non-negotiables are thingsthat absolutely cannot go
unintended.
Now?
You might be thinking that yourwhole house is non-negotiable.
That's a big goal.
Right?
But the reality is that we can'thave everything be a
(08:27):
non-negotiable because theneverything becomes a priority.
And when everything becomes apriority, it builds frustration
and it keeps you stuck in thecycle of feeling like you're
always behind.
So I encourage you to pick justone to two places in your home
to start with.
For me, it's my kitchen.
I love that it needs to staytidy for easy meal planning and
(08:50):
prepping.
It makes cooking go faster, andit's much less of a hassle to
clean up afterwards, which I'mall for so why am I asking you
to pick one or two spaces?
It's because you still have tofactor in your daily life.
The goal here is to break freefrom constantly feeling behind
without sacrificing whatmatters.
(09:12):
And so if your whole house isyour non-negotiable, It doesn't
leave you with a lot of time andenergy to focus on your family
and make these memories, whichis what matters most to you at
the end of the day.
Now, once you've mastered yournon-negotiable areas, then you
can move into other spaces astime fits.
That could be during the day orthroughout the week, depending
(09:34):
on how you plan out your week.
So I would encourage you, forexample, to have a designated
day specifically for laundry,and then as a daily routine
before bedtime, have your kidsgo through the high traffic
places inside your home and tidythose areas.
It might not be magazine perfector Pinterest worthy, but it will
(09:55):
make your summer more enjoyableBecause you're gonna be spending
less time cleaning up in theevening and more time being able
to do the things that you enjoy.
And it also gives an opportunityfor your family to take part in
the roles and responsibilitiesof tidying up the house By
focusing on just these keyareas, you'll start to feel less
(10:17):
behind and more in control, evenwhen the rest of the house
reflects the reality of.
Summer with kids, Now we put alot of pressure on ourselves as
mom to keep our house together,naturally, we want to create a
home that is welcoming,peaceful, and safe for our
(10:37):
family.
But beyond the physical mess,there's this inner dialogue that
keeps telling you, you should bedoing better.
Or you should be doing more andthat you should have a handle on
keeping your home tidy becauseafter all, it is your home.
You see other moms maybe onsocial media or even in your
(11:01):
immediate circle who seems tomanage the chaos of summer and
all its festivities just fine.
So you begin to compare yourselfto them and you're thinking
maybe you're not doing somethingright.
You look at your home, which isa home that is, may I remind
you, well loved and lived in,versus a home that is magazine
(11:23):
worthy.
So when you compare your life toanother mama's life, guilt
creeps in and it adds pressurefor you to not drop the ball on
your quote unquote normalroutine while you're trying to
enjoy summer with your family.
This comparison mindset is sodamaging because it's not based
(11:44):
on the reality that you are in.
What you are seeing, especiallyon social media, is someone
taking the time to tell aportion of their day to show you
a small part of their life.
What you're not seeing are thebehind the scenes where she gets
frustrated.
Maybe she snaps at her kids orshe begins to angry clean.
(12:09):
Right.
I think we all have done that atsome point as a mom, because
we're frustrated that we'redoing everything.
But.
That's the part, the real rawpart of motherhood that's not
being portrayed as you arelooking through these short
videos on say, Instagram orFacebook.
Comparison isn't just mentallyexhausting.
(12:31):
It creates practical challengestoo.
Challenges like pressure thatbuilds up because you're
carrying two roles that you wantto do perfectly which is the fun
summer mom and then the mom whocan maintain a clean and
organized home.
But the truth is, these tworoles are eventually going to
compete for your limited timeand energy.
(12:53):
And when you can't do bothperfectly, it feels like a
failure.
This mindset makes the physicalchaos feel more like a personal
failure rather than a simple,normal season of life with your
kids at home.
You begin to feel like you'refalling behind when the reality
is that you are a mom withlimited time and energy, and all
(13:17):
moms are like that.
All moms operate on limited timeand energy, but in our mind,
especially with Mom guilt andpressure creeping in, we can
feel like it's just us who'sdropping the ball, So how can
you make the most out of what islimited, which is your time and
energy while breaking free fromthese comparisons?
(13:40):
I would encourage you to startby identifying the specific
thought patterns that make youfeel like you're behind the
stories you tell yourself.
Internally shape what youbelieve about your capabilities
as a mom.
So you have to examine yourthoughts and make sure that they
are rooted in truth rather thanan unrealistic expectation.
(14:01):
And once you named thosethoughts, challenge them with
God's truth because this iswhere his word becomes our
anchor in the chaos.
Now, remember, God does notmeasure your worth by how clean
your home looks or how manyitems you've checked off your
to-do list in these moments.
When your house feels outtacontrol, I encourage you to turn
(14:25):
and remember what Paul says inPhilippians four eight.
He writes, whatever is true,whatever is honorable, whatever
is just, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is
commendable, if there is anyexcellence.
If there is anything worthy ofpraise, think about these
(14:47):
things.
And Paul doesn't just tell uswhat to think about.
He also tells us what to do withthese thoughts.
In the very next verse, he says,what you have learned and
received, and heard and seen inme.
Practice these things and theGod of peace will be with you.
Now, one way I have found to putthis into practice is what I
(15:10):
like to call thoughtful rest,Taking in of moments to rest,
not just my body, but my mindwhen I feel overwhelmed, and
here's what that looks like inmy life.
It's pausing briefly to first,thank God for this busy, messy
house that can feel out ofcontrol at times because it
reminds me that he is in controlThen it's genuinely asking God
(15:35):
to help me with perspective tosee that this season is
temporary, but also incrediblyprecious because the moment is.
Fleeting.
And this type of reflection justredirects my attention to what
holds eternal value withoutdismissing my natural desire for
order in my home.
(15:56):
Because let's face it, as moms,we want our house to be tidy and
neat and organized.
So now that we've addressed ourmindset, let's talk about how we
can lead effectively even in themidst of the chaos, because the
goal is not trying to survivemotherhood but thoroughly live
(16:17):
it with intention and purpose.
True leadership isn't aboutperfect control.
It's about internal guidancethrough imperfect seasons.
When your house feels chaoticand you feel behind, that is
exactly when your leadershipmatters most.
Motherhood isn't aboutcontrolling everything but about
(16:39):
the influence that you have onyour children because let's be
honest, they're watching how youspeak, how you react when things
go wrong, and how you manageyour emotions and stressful
moments.
Now, for years, I never thoughtof myself as a leader because I
didn't fit the image in my head.
I wasn't running board meetingsor wearing power suits.
(17:02):
Many days.
My uniform was just pajamapants, a nursing bra and a
t-shirt with my hair thrown inSome kind of a messy bun.
And so I would think, how couldthat possibly be the presence of
a leader when you shift fromtrying to.
Catch up to leading through themess you model for your
(17:24):
children.
How to navigate challenges withgrace The messy summer days are
truly prime opportunities todemonstrate what it means to
adapt, prioritize, and to findjoy in all the imperfections.
Remember, in God's kingdom,leadership is shown through
serving.
(17:45):
You can see that in how Jesusserves, and it's not about
having everything under controlor completed perfectly.
Summer feels like it's reallylong, but it goes by really
fast.
So don't miss out on this timewith your kids.
You only get one summer withthem at the age that they are at
(18:06):
now.
Things will look different nextyear, and I don't want you to
look back and wish that you hadspent more time with them..
I want you to look back andthink that that was an awesome
summer, and I want you to beexcited for the one that's
coming.
And truthfully, your kids arenot going to remember the messy
house.
They're going to remember thetime that you were present with
(18:28):
them, that is worth more in itsvalue than a spotless home.
So how can you lead through themess without giving up what
matters most?
There are plenty of ways to dothis, but I wanna share with you
three ways that has helped me,and they don't require a lot of
work and energy.
(18:50):
So the first one is to involveyour kids in the solution.
That might mean everyone gets tovote on an activity or they all
get specific cleaningresponsibilities that way task
gets completed in less time andthere's more time with each
other.
So that is going to be a win-winfor you mama.
The second way to show a servantleadership, and it's one of my
(19:12):
favorite ways, is to play cardgames with them.
Now, it doesn't require aperfect environment, which means
you don't have to tidy up a hugearea of your home in order to do
this.
And when you're playing thesecard games, it allows
opportunity for conversationswhile you're having fun.
For example, right now in ourfamily.
(19:34):
Uno, no.
Mercy and speed have beenfavorites this summer.
So that has been incredibly funto do on a random hour during
the week.
And if I'm being honest withyou, as I've worked through my
small business throughout thesummer, it has been awesome Just
to step away and refresh my mindwhile enjoying a couple of
rounds of Uno, no mercy orspeed.
(19:58):
And then the last way that Iwanna share with you is to
recognize that leading is notalways about keeping busy.
I love this TV show called SharkTank.
I was obsessed with it at onepoint, and if you're not
familiar with it, it is a TVshow where entrepreneurs pitch
their business to the sharks whothen could potentially invest in
their business.
(20:19):
There was an episode where MarkCuban gave this wonderful advice
that stuck with me His advicewas learn to read the room.
And so as that's continued tostick with me and bled into how
I mother my kids.
I would wonder if I was readingthe room well.
(20:39):
For example, there are timeswhere I want to be on the go and
spend the day running errands sothat I can relax later, but my
kids are absolutely dreading it.
They don't want to run theerrands.
They would rather be at home,and so that's usually the time
while I have to assess if theerrands that I'm wanting to run
are a pressing matter.
(20:59):
Is this something that needs tobe done today?
And if it's not, then maybe Ican put it off for a few more
hours or just rescheduleentirely for another day.
Now if it is a pressing matter,I will vocalize that to my kids
and let them know that they haveto come with me because we have
to get something done that day.
(21:19):
Now, these are just a fewleadership habits that you can
start implementing as younavigate through the summer
chaos that is going to make youfeel less behind and more
present As you're in the thickof summer break with this Summer
Confidence mini series, witheach episode that I've released,
there's been a fun challenge togo along with it.
(21:39):
And so this week's is called theCatchup Power Hour, and here's
how it works.
First, you're going to set atimer for exactly 20 minutes.
Have everyone in the family pickone area to clean.
Maybe that's the living room,the kitchen, or perhaps the
bedroom.
And then you're going to playand upbeat music, playlist and
(22:03):
race against the clock.
Now, here's the important part.
When that timer goes off,everyone stops what they're
doing immediately, no matterwhat.
Then you're gonna spend the next40 minutes doing something
together that is going to be funand you're gonna do it together
as a family.
Maybe that's ice cream cardgames, or even playing video
(22:27):
games together.
We love Mario Party at ourhouse, so that's a really good
pastime for us., And I'm soexcited about this challenge
because it shows your familythat progress matters more than
perfection, and it taps into thecompetitive side of your family
as well as it gets everyoneinvolved in both work and fun.
(22:50):
And so I'll be doing this rightalongside you.
I would love for you to shareyour experience in my free
online community, break freefrom Mom Guilt.
I have it linked in the shownotes for you, mama.
And I can't wait to hear aboutyour wins because this is gonna
be so much fun.
As we wrap up today, remember tofirst acknowledge that summer
(23:14):
definitely brings a differentseason with its own rhythms, and
then challenge the pressureinducing thoughts with God's
truth.
Then finally, lead through thechaos by involving your kids and
creating meaningful moments.
Even when everything feelsbehind schedule, And don't
forget about the catch up powerHour challenge, mama.
(23:38):
I know that it can be hard,especially if you are balancing
keeping your house in order andsummer activities, but you can
do hard things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today, mama.
I had a lot of fun.
(24:00):
I'll see you next Wednesday,right here on the podcast, and
my prayer is that you'll show upin all the spaces of your life
ready to serve with a joyfulheart and with confidence.
Until then, go in peace.
Feeling like you can't keep upthis summer with kids home.
The house is messier than ever.
And that to-do list, well, it'sgrowing by the minute.
And this episode of the SummerConfidence miniseries, discover
Why you feel so behind and getactionable steps to finally
catch up in the midst of thesummer.
(00:20):
Chaos, all without sacrificingwhat matters most.
Hey mama.
Tired of the constant guilt andwondering if you're getting it
right.
You are not alone, and you don'thave to stay stuck.
It's time to show up as the momyou want to be and not the mom
(00:44):
who's always drained andsnapping at her family.
Welcome to The Restored MindPodcast.
I'm your host, Caroline Tao, andthis is your safe space to trade
constant.
Overwhelm for meaningfulconnection and guilt for the
precious moments ahead.
Ready?
Let's do this.
(01:10):
Hey mama.
I would love to hear your heartand maybe even feature your
voice on the podcast.
Have a question aboutmotherhood, faith, or just want
to share how an episode touchedyou.
Just tap the link at the top ofthe show notes.
It opens up like you're textinga friend.
Your stories and questions arewhat make this community so
(01:33):
incredibly special, and whoknows your message might inspire
a future episode or encourageanother mom who's walking a
similar path.
Either way, I can't wait to hearfrom you.
When my family and I moved toCalifornia last year, I had this
vision of a smooth transition.
(01:57):
I thought we would quicklyunpack boxes, have our furniture
perfectly arranged.
And still have plenty of time toexplore our new community.
But the reality was that it wasabsolute chaos.
For weeks, we were living in amaze of half empty boxes, and
(02:17):
whenever I needed somethingsimple like bath towels, it
would turn into a 20 minutetreasure hunt, So what I ended
up doing was I made a targettrip, which by the way, I'm not
upset about.
But here's what reallyfrustrated me.
I caught myself between twoimportant things.
First is I wanted our home tofeel settled and organized, but.
(02:43):
I also wanted to give my kids agreat summer before school
started.
I mean, we had just traveledacross country and they were in
a new community, so I wanted usto at least make the best of
what was left of our summer.
And that meant we would taketime to go to local beaches,
explore hiking trails, all whilemaking these new memories.
(03:06):
But every day I would lookaround at the mess and think.
I am so behind that feeling ofconstantly playing catch up was
exhausting to say the least.
I would make progress in onearea, only to fall behind in
another.
So Mama, if that soundsfamiliar, you're not alone.
(03:27):
That constant feeling of I can'tkeep up.
Is exactly what we're talkingabout today.
So let's talk about why you feelso behind in the first place and
why that summer chaos feels sooverwhelming when you are trying
to juggle it all.
(03:47):
The reality of summer with kidsat home is that there is going
to be constant messes, so we'regoing to be dealing with endless
dishes, laundry piles, and toys.
Everywhere.
It feels like when you clean onearea of your home, you'll turn
around and see that another areaneeds some TLC as well.
(04:11):
Summer activities also create acertain kind of mess as well,
especially with my daughters.
There are scrap paperseverywhere, marker tops left on
the counter and on the floor.
Other times.
It's from making their favoritebreakfast items, which are
pancakes.
Now, don't get me wrong, it'sone of my favorite ways that I
(04:32):
get to bond with my daughters.
So while they are measuring andmixing all of the ingredients
together, I'm usually heating upthe pan and preparing the
proteins.
But with them mixing andmeasuring, that also means that
there's going to be spilledflowers and eggs on the counter
and possibly the floor.
(04:53):
And there's definitely going tobe batter that ends up on the
stove from them pouring it intothe pan.
Since we're on the topic offood, I've also noticed that.
They snack throughout the dayand will leave the wrappers or
crumbs everywhere.
My son is growing.
He's 10 years old and hisappetite has shot up So after
(05:13):
his meals, he's always snackingor looking for something to eat,
and all of this just contributesto the mess and the amount of
dishes that needs to be washedthroughout the day.
My two girls are also goingthrough a stage where they
change frequently.
If you are a girl mom, you canprobably relate to this, but
(05:34):
they change about three to fourtimes a day, so I'm finding it
harder this summer to keep upwith laundry because of that.
All of these things that I havementioned, are the reason why
the cleaning cycle feels likeit's never ending.
It makes you feel like you'restruggling to keep up with the
demands inside your home.
(05:55):
Now, you might be wondering whythis feels overwhelming and it's
because.
You're essentially trying tobalance cleaning with memory
making, and it can be animpossible standard if you are
setting unrealisticexpectations..
See, during the school year, Ihave found that my dishes are
(06:16):
quite minimal because everyoneis on a routine.
Most mornings I'll havebreakfast with my kids before we
go to school, and then when Icome back from dropping them
off, I'll clean the dishes andthen I'm off for my morning walk
or run, depending on the day.
And then once I get back, I'llfocus on my podcast or any work
that needs to be done for mysmall business.
(06:36):
The house is quieter so thatmeans distractions are minimal
and it's easier for me to focusand get through the day.
And so my routine during thesummertime has not looked
anything like that.
Even though my intentions wereto stick to my routine, it just
isn't happening.
And if I'm being honest, it'sbecause summer changes my role
(06:57):
It also changes your role as apart-time cleaner and mom to
full-time everything.
Now, let me clarify.
We all know that our role as amom doesn't change no matter
where our kids are at, But theamount of attention that we need
to focus on with our kids isdefinitely different when
they're at school.
Because during the school year,your active mom duties might be
(07:21):
concentrated in the mornings andmaybe in the late afternoons
into the evenings, but duringthe summer, you're on full-time
all day Mom duties with littleto no breaks, and if you have.
Kids that are not yet in school,you're on mom duty 100% of the
time and it can get stressful aswell.
(07:44):
So how do we break free fromthis frustrating cycle of
feeling constantly behind?
Well, it starts first with ourmindset.
We have to acknowledge that forthis brief moment, you're in a
different season.
The routine that worked whilethey were in school is no longer
a working routine.
And once you've acknowledgedthat your season has changed,
(08:06):
the next step is identifyingyour non-negotiables.
These non-negotiables are thingsthat absolutely cannot go
unintended.
Now?
You might be thinking that yourwhole house is non-negotiable.
That's a big goal.
Right?
But the reality is that we can'thave everything be a
(08:27):
non-negotiable because theneverything becomes a priority.
And when everything becomes apriority, it builds frustration
and it keeps you stuck in thecycle of feeling like you're
always behind.
So I encourage you to pick justone to two places in your home
to start with.
For me, it's my kitchen.
I love that it needs to staytidy for easy meal planning and
(08:50):
prepping.
It makes cooking go faster, andit's much less of a hassle to
clean up afterwards, which I'mall for so why am I asking you
to pick one or two spaces?
It's because you still have tofactor in your daily life.
The goal here is to break freefrom constantly feeling behind
without sacrificing whatmatters.
(09:12):
And so if your whole house isyour non-negotiable, It doesn't
leave you with a lot of time andenergy to focus on your family
and make these memories, whichis what matters most to you at
the end of the day.
Now, once you've mastered yournon-negotiable areas, then you
can move into other spaces astime fits.
That could be during the day orthroughout the week, depending
(09:34):
on how you plan out your week.
So I would encourage you, forexample, to have a designated
day specifically for laundry,and then as a daily routine
before bedtime, have your kidsgo through the high traffic
places inside your home and tidythose areas.
It might not be magazine perfector Pinterest worthy, but it will
(09:55):
make your summer more enjoyableBecause you're gonna be spending
less time cleaning up in theevening and more time being able
to do the things that you enjoy.
And it also gives an opportunityfor your family to take part in
the roles and responsibilitiesof tidying up the house By
focusing on just these keyareas, you'll start to feel less
(10:17):
behind and more in control, evenwhen the rest of the house
reflects the reality of.
Summer with kids, Now we put alot of pressure on ourselves as
mom to keep our house together,naturally, we want to create a
home that is welcoming,peaceful, and safe for our
(10:37):
family.
But beyond the physical mess,there's this inner dialogue that
keeps telling you, you should bedoing better.
Or you should be doing more andthat you should have a handle on
keeping your home tidy becauseafter all, it is your home.
You see other moms maybe onsocial media or even in your
(11:01):
immediate circle who seems tomanage the chaos of summer and
all its festivities just fine.
So you begin to compare yourselfto them and you're thinking
maybe you're not doing somethingright.
You look at your home, which isa home that is, may I remind
you, well loved and lived in,versus a home that is magazine
(11:23):
worthy.
So when you compare your life toanother mama's life, guilt
creeps in and it adds pressurefor you to not drop the ball on
your quote unquote normalroutine while you're trying to
enjoy summer with your family.
This comparison mindset is sodamaging because it's not based
(11:44):
on the reality that you are in.
What you are seeing, especiallyon social media, is someone
taking the time to tell aportion of their day to show you
a small part of their life.
What you're not seeing are thebehind the scenes where she gets
frustrated.
Maybe she snaps at her kids orshe begins to angry clean.
(12:09):
Right.
I think we all have done that atsome point as a mom, because
we're frustrated that we'redoing everything.
But.
That's the part, the real rawpart of motherhood that's not
being portrayed as you arelooking through these short
videos on say, Instagram orFacebook.
Comparison isn't just mentallyexhausting.
(12:31):
It creates practical challengestoo.
Challenges like pressure thatbuilds up because you're
carrying two roles that you wantto do perfectly which is the fun
summer mom and then the mom whocan maintain a clean and
organized home.
But the truth is, these tworoles are eventually going to
compete for your limited timeand energy.
(12:53):
And when you can't do bothperfectly, it feels like a
failure.
This mindset makes the physicalchaos feel more like a personal
failure rather than a simple,normal season of life with your
kids at home.
You begin to feel like you'refalling behind when the reality
is that you are a mom withlimited time and energy, and all
(13:17):
moms are like that.
All moms operate on limited timeand energy, but in our mind,
especially with Mom guilt andpressure creeping in, we can
feel like it's just us who'sdropping the ball, So how can
you make the most out of what islimited, which is your time and
energy while breaking free fromthese comparisons?
(13:40):
I would encourage you to startby identifying the specific
thought patterns that make youfeel like you're behind the
stories you tell yourself.
Internally shape what youbelieve about your capabilities
as a mom.
So you have to examine yourthoughts and make sure that they
are rooted in truth rather thanan unrealistic expectation.
(14:01):
And once you named thosethoughts, challenge them with
God's truth because this iswhere his word becomes our
anchor in the chaos.
Now, remember, God does notmeasure your worth by how clean
your home looks or how manyitems you've checked off your
to-do list in these moments.
When your house feels outtacontrol, I encourage you to turn
(14:25):
and remember what Paul says inPhilippians four eight.
He writes, whatever is true,whatever is honorable, whatever
is just, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is
commendable, if there is anyexcellence.
If there is anything worthy ofpraise, think about these
(14:47):
things.
And Paul doesn't just tell uswhat to think about.
He also tells us what to do withthese thoughts.
In the very next verse, he says,what you have learned and
received, and heard and seen inme.
Practice these things and theGod of peace will be with you.
Now, one way I have found to putthis into practice is what I
(15:10):
like to call thoughtful rest,Taking in of moments to rest,
not just my body, but my mindwhen I feel overwhelmed, and
here's what that looks like inmy life.
It's pausing briefly to first,thank God for this busy, messy
house that can feel out ofcontrol at times because it
reminds me that he is in controlThen it's genuinely asking God
(15:35):
to help me with perspective tosee that this season is
temporary, but also incrediblyprecious because the moment is.
Fleeting.
And this type of reflection justredirects my attention to what
holds eternal value withoutdismissing my natural desire for
order in my home.
(15:56):
Because let's face it, as moms,we want our house to be tidy and
neat and organized.
So now that we've addressed ourmindset, let's talk about how we
can lead effectively even in themidst of the chaos, because the
goal is not trying to survivemotherhood but thoroughly live
(16:17):
it with intention and purpose.
True leadership isn't aboutperfect control.
It's about internal guidancethrough imperfect seasons.
When your house feels chaoticand you feel behind, that is
exactly when your leadershipmatters most.
Motherhood isn't aboutcontrolling everything but about
(16:39):
the influence that you have onyour children because let's be
honest, they're watching how youspeak, how you react when things
go wrong, and how you manageyour emotions and stressful
moments.
Now, for years, I never thoughtof myself as a leader because I
didn't fit the image in my head.
I wasn't running board meetingsor wearing power suits.
(17:02):
Many days.
My uniform was just pajamapants, a nursing bra and a
t-shirt with my hair thrown inSome kind of a messy bun.
And so I would think, how couldthat possibly be the presence of
a leader when you shift fromtrying to.
Catch up to leading through themess you model for your
(17:24):
children.
How to navigate challenges withgrace The messy summer days are
truly prime opportunities todemonstrate what it means to
adapt, prioritize, and to findjoy in all the imperfections.
Remember, in God's kingdom,leadership is shown through
serving.
(17:45):
You can see that in how Jesusserves, and it's not about
having everything under controlor completed perfectly.
Summer feels like it's reallylong, but it goes by really
fast.
So don't miss out on this timewith your kids.
You only get one summer withthem at the age that they are at
(18:06):
now.
Things will look different nextyear, and I don't want you to
look back and wish that you hadspent more time with them..
I want you to look back andthink that that was an awesome
summer, and I want you to beexcited for the one that's
coming.
And truthfully, your kids arenot going to remember the messy
house.
They're going to remember thetime that you were present with
(18:28):
them, that is worth more in itsvalue than a spotless home.
So how can you lead through themess without giving up what
matters most?
There are plenty of ways to dothis, but I wanna share with you
three ways that has helped me,and they don't require a lot of
work and energy.
(18:50):
So the first one is to involveyour kids in the solution.
That might mean everyone gets tovote on an activity or they all
get specific cleaningresponsibilities that way task
gets completed in less time andthere's more time with each
other.
So that is going to be a win-winfor you mama.
The second way to show a servantleadership, and it's one of my
(19:12):
favorite ways, is to play cardgames with them.
Now, it doesn't require aperfect environment, which means
you don't have to tidy up a hugearea of your home in order to do
this.
And when you're playing thesecard games, it allows
opportunity for conversationswhile you're having fun.
For example, right now in ourfamily.
(19:34):
Uno, no.
Mercy and speed have beenfavorites this summer.
So that has been incredibly funto do on a random hour during
the week.
And if I'm being honest withyou, as I've worked through my
small business throughout thesummer, it has been awesome Just
to step away and refresh my mindwhile enjoying a couple of
rounds of Uno, no mercy orspeed.
(19:58):
And then the last way that Iwanna share with you is to
recognize that leading is notalways about keeping busy.
I love this TV show called SharkTank.
I was obsessed with it at onepoint, and if you're not
familiar with it, it is a TVshow where entrepreneurs pitch
their business to the sharks whothen could potentially invest in
their business.
(20:19):
There was an episode where MarkCuban gave this wonderful advice
that stuck with me His advicewas learn to read the room.
And so as that's continued tostick with me and bled into how
I mother my kids.
I would wonder if I was readingthe room well.
(20:39):
For example, there are timeswhere I want to be on the go and
spend the day running errands sothat I can relax later, but my
kids are absolutely dreading it.
They don't want to run theerrands.
They would rather be at home,and so that's usually the time
while I have to assess if theerrands that I'm wanting to run
are a pressing matter.
(20:59):
Is this something that needs tobe done today?
And if it's not, then maybe Ican put it off for a few more
hours or just rescheduleentirely for another day.
Now if it is a pressing matter,I will vocalize that to my kids
and let them know that they haveto come with me because we have
to get something done that day.
(21:19):
Now, these are just a fewleadership habits that you can
start implementing as younavigate through the summer
chaos that is going to make youfeel less behind and more
present As you're in the thickof summer break with this Summer
Confidence mini series, witheach episode that I've released,
there's been a fun challenge togo along with it.
(21:39):
And so this week's is called theCatchup Power Hour, and here's
how it works.
First, you're going to set atimer for exactly 20 minutes.
Have everyone in the family pickone area to clean.
Maybe that's the living room,the kitchen, or perhaps the
bedroom.
And then you're going to playand upbeat music, playlist and
(22:03):
race against the clock.
Now, here's the important part.
When that timer goes off,everyone stops what they're
doing immediately, no matterwhat.
Then you're gonna spend the next40 minutes doing something
together that is going to be funand you're gonna do it together
as a family.
Maybe that's ice cream cardgames, or even playing video
(22:27):
games together.
We love Mario Party at ourhouse, so that's a really good
pastime for us., And I'm soexcited about this challenge
because it shows your familythat progress matters more than
perfection, and it taps into thecompetitive side of your family
as well as it gets everyoneinvolved in both work and fun.
(22:50):
And so I'll be doing this rightalongside you.
I would love for you to shareyour experience in my free
online community, break freefrom Mom Guilt.
I have it linked in the shownotes for you, mama.
And I can't wait to hear aboutyour wins because this is gonna
be so much fun.
As we wrap up today, remember tofirst acknowledge that summer
(23:14):
definitely brings a differentseason with its own rhythms, and
then challenge the pressureinducing thoughts with God's
truth.
Then finally, lead through thechaos by involving your kids and
creating meaningful moments.
Even when everything feelsbehind schedule, And don't
forget about the catch up powerHour challenge, mama.
(23:38):
I know that it can be hard,especially if you are balancing
keeping your house in order andsummer activities, but you can
do hard things.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today, mama.
I had a lot of fun.
(24:00):
I'll see you next Wednesday,right here on the podcast, and
my prayer is that you'll show upin all the spaces of your life
ready to serve with a joyfulheart and with confidence.
Until then, go in peace.
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