129 | Did You 'Ruin' Summer? Why Christian Moms Need To Drop The Guilt Before School Starts

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This is the FINAL episode of the Summer Confidence Mini Series. 

Hey Mama!

Are you counting all the things you didn't do this summer, wishing for more time? In this final episode of the Summer Confidence Mini Series, I'm sharing powerful strategies to overcome mom guilt and comparison. Learn how to reframe those "missed" moments, quiet the social media comparison trap, and appreciate the summer you actually had—whether it included exciting vacations or simple moments at home. Discover how to trade perfectionism for freedom and enter the new season with confidence instead of regret. Essential for Christian moms wondering if their children missed out on the 'perfect summer' everyone else seemed to have.

Key Takeaways

• Reframe missed moments through gratitude, focusing on what actually happened to experience lasting joy
• Silence comparison by developing awareness when scrolling social media and redirecting thoughts to gratitude
• Celebrate what matters with the End of Summer Challenge - gather your family to share favorite memories

✨ Join the "End of Summer" challenge this week and win your time back so you can have more family time—linked in the show notes! ✨

Explore more from the Summer Confidence Mini Series:

124 | Feeling A Little Off This Summer? How To Beat Mom Guilt

125 | Stressed About Summer Clothes? Here's How To Reclaim Your Confidence Today

126 | Is Mom Guilt Wrecking Your Summer—Or Setting You Free?

127 | Tired Of Trying To Make Summer Perfect? How To Let Go Without Giving up

128 | Stop Feeling Behind! A Busy Mom's Guide To A Guilt-Free Summer

More FREE Resources:

FREE Community: Break Free From Mom Guilt

Become a Restored Mind Family Member: Sign Up Here

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It's time to become to the mom you want to be. Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Summer's ending and you'recounting all the things you
didn't do, wishing for moretime.
In this final episode of theSummer Confidence Mini series,
I'll show you how to reframethose quote unquote missed
moments.
Quiet yet, the comparisonmindset.
And appreciating what actuallyhappened rather than what could
have been.

(00:20):
Whether it included a fungetaway trip or simply being
present at home.
Learn to end summer withconfidence instead of regret.
Hey Mama.
Overwhelmed by Mom Guilt.
I'm Caroline Tao, helpingChristian moms trade

(00:41):
perfectionism for freedom andrest.
Welcome to the Restored Mind,where Biblical wisdom meets
practical strategies forbecoming the mom You've always
wanted to be ready.
Let's do this.
Mama, you and I can both agreethat mom guilt leaves you

(01:05):
feeling stuck and wondering ifyou are enough.
That's why I created the BreakFree for Mom Guild, a place
where Christian moms connect andsupport each other.
Join us as we learn to be thepresent.
Intentional Moms we want to benot the overwhelmed ones,
snapping at our kids.
Just click the link in the shownotes to find your tribe of

(01:27):
encouraging Mamas.
Today.
One summer my husband and I tooka trip to Florida.
Now, this was before we hadkids, and when the trip ended,
he asked if I had a good time,and I remember saying yes, but I

(01:48):
was actually feeling torn on theinside.
I didn't know how to expressthat.
While I enjoyed our timetogether, my mind was stuck on
the list of things that wedidn't get to do.
And if I'm being honest, I trulycannot recall what was on that
list of missed things.
But I remember letting thosemissed moments overshadow the

(02:08):
amazing memories that weactually made.
I remember staring out thewindow on the drive home
struggling to truly feel the joyof our trip because I kept
fixating on what didn't happeninstead of what did it was like
I was living in that classicanalogy.
Is the cup half empty or halffull?

(02:31):
And you know what, this isexactly what happens as summer
comes to a close, we findourselves mentally scrolling
through all the things we didn'tdo, the trip's not taken, the
project's left unfinished, andthe moments we think that we
missed our houses might still bemessy.
Our camera rolls might not looklike everyone else's.

(02:54):
And we start wondering, was thisit?
Did I miss the point of summer?
So let's start there today andtalk about the importance of
reframing those quote unquotemissed moments.
Just like the scrolling we do onour phones.
We do that mentally in our headstoo about a lot of things.

(03:15):
Now what stands out to us themost, especially when guilt
takes over, are the mental listof failures.
Now that summer is coming to anend, you have two choices.
You can focus on what actuallyhappened, or fixate on what you
missed, And when you dwell onwhat didn't happen or the things

(03:35):
that you didn't do.
You miss appreciating what didhappen.
And when you miss thatopportunity, you are creating a
cycle of dissatisfaction thatsteals your joy.
And see, joy just runs deeperthan happiness, though they are
emotions that bounce off of eachother.
Joy persists even duringchallenges, Joy has this staying

(03:57):
power even when life gets hard,unlike happiness, that depends
on circumstances.
Joy, which is part of the fruitof the spirit, remains even
during seasons of guilt ordisappointment.
When you reframe your focus fromwhat you missed to what actually
happened, you are choosing God'sperspective of joy and abundance

(04:20):
over scarcity, and it just helpsyou appreciate your summer as it
is.
Now when I was struggling to seethe glass half full,, it brought
a lot of disappointment becauseI only saw the emptiness.
I didn't like that I had thisnegative attitude and outlook.

(04:40):
I mean, at least I saw that formyself back then, but I also
didn't know what to do about it,and eventually.
I found my stride with these twohabits that I implemented when I
caught myself in a half emptymindset.
And I'm gonna share them withyou.
So the first one is to practicegratitude through intentional
reflection.

(05:01):
When I catch myself thinkingabout what I miss.
I pause and intentionally listthree things that actually
happened that I'm grateful for.
This shifts my focus from whatwas missing to realizing the
importance of being present inthat time and the actual awesome
experience that we had as afamily.

(05:22):
The second habit change is toshare the story that you want to
remember, and this basicallywas, when I tell others my
story, I did not lead with anegative thought.
I consciously chose to highlightwhat was meaningful rather than
what was missing.
This rewires my own memory ofevents.

(05:42):
And these small habit changesconnect directly to preserving
joy because they all centeraround being present and
appreciative of what is, ratherthan fixating on what isn't.
When you consciously choose tosee the fullness of your
experiences rather than theemptiness of what didn't happen,
you're actively nurturing thatdeeper sense of joy that can

(06:05):
withstand disappointment.
Now, earlier in the episode Imentioned the comparison
mindset, so we're going to diveinto that because comparison
also plays a role in the shouldhaves and could haves and one of
the biggest sources of thesecomparisons is what we see on

(06:26):
social media.
Social media is one of thebiggest sources of comparison,
especially as summer ends.
Those.
Best summer ever posts that yousee on Facebook or even
Instagram and the perfectvacation photos that are popping
up on your feed, they can makeyou question if you've missed

(06:46):
the point of summer entirely.
While social media can bevaluable for connecting with
distant family, intentionallystepping away, even temporarily
can protect your perspectivewhen you're constantly viewing
highlight reels.
You naturally begin to wonder ifyour kids had a great summer or
if you did enough Now to helpsilence the comparison mindset.

(07:09):
I want you to take a deep breathwith me.
Now, let me remind you, yourcamera roll does not need to
match or outdo anyone in orderfor your summer to be
meaningful.
I want you to begin to practicecomparison awareness by noticing

(07:29):
when you begin to measure yoursummer against any other mamas
or anyone else's for thatmatter, then redirect your
thoughts to gratitude, which wetalked about earlier, because
gratitude honestly changes yourattitude.
So if you're scrolling on socialmedia and you see a mama with
her family at Disney, or abeautiful setup in the backyard

(07:53):
for a movie night.
And you're thinking we shouldhave done that.
I want you to try and flip thescript and think, I am grateful
for our simple, cozy familynight because that's my shift in
the way that you speaking toyourself makes a world of a
difference.
Okay.

(08:14):
All episode bong.
I have been talking about theshould haves and could haves, so
basically the regrets ofwondering if you did enough this
summer.
But what I really wanna do isdrive home the importance of
finding joy, especially sincesummer is coming to an end and
school is about to start.

(08:35):
Maybe for some of you, school isalready back in session.
The point is you are about to bein a season of transition.
So finding and having joy as youwrap up your summer is important
because I don't want you to haveany regrets.
I want you to look back andthink, wow, this was an awesome

(08:57):
summer.
Ending summer with regret keepsyou from being present and it
also steals your joy and evenshakes your confidence for the
seasons that are coming ahead.
Thanksgiving's gonna be here.
Christmas is coming, and beforeyou know it's.
We'll be celebrating the comingof a new year.
So honestly, time is going tofly.

(09:19):
And the last thing you want todo is play catch up where you're
trying to make up for summer,because when that time comes,
you're going to want to bepresent with your family.
So here's my end of summerchallenge for you, and that's
what I'm calling it because thisis the final challenge for the
summer confidence miniseries sohere's what you're going to do.

(09:41):
Before school starts, gatheryour family around the dinner
table or even a backyardcampfire and enjoy some s'mores.
Or if you're at the dinnertable, then have a meal.
Make a meal that you and yourfamily love together.
And as you guys are gathered,ask everyone to share their
single favorite summer memory.

(10:03):
Just one highlight that standsout.
I promise you, you'll besurprised at what actually
mattered to your kids.
We've done this in our familysince our kids started school,
and honestly, it has become ourfavorite way to honor what
actually happened rather thanwhat we missed.

(10:24):
Now if you take on thischallenge, mama, I would love to
hear what memories surface foryour family.
You can connect with me insidemy free online community,
breaking free for mom guilt forChristian moms.
It's linked in the show notesfor you, I've had such a
wonderful time.
It was a lot of fun doing thisSummer Confidence Meeting series

(10:46):
with you.
But as we wrap up, let's take amoment to remember the key
takeaways that will help you endthis season without regret.
First is to reframe missedmoments by practicing gratitude,
focusing on what happened ratherthan what didn't, so that you

(11:06):
can experience true lasting joy.
And then silence the comparisonmindset by practicing awareness
when scrolling on social media.
Redirecting those thoughts ofgratitude and remembering your
summer doesn't need to matchanyone else's.
Is also going to help yousilence the comparison mindset

(11:26):
and finally celebrate whatactually matters through the end
of summer Challenge.
Gathering your family to sharefavorite memories and honor what
truly matters to them.
I hope that you had such awonderful summer with your
family this year and that it wasintentional, and we're gonna be
going into a season oftransition, which I'm super

(11:48):
excited to also share a littleseries I've put together for you
next week.
All right, mama.
I know with summer wrapping upin school about to begin, it can
be hard to say goodbye to thisseason, but I know and believe
that you can do hard things.

(12:12):
Thanks for hanging out with metoday, mama.
If this episode helped you inany way, would you do me a favor
and please share it with afellow mom that could also
benefit from this episode.
Until then, I'll see you nextWednesday, right here on this
podcast.
Go in peace.