September 24, 2025 • 21 mins
Did this episode bless you? Send a quick message—I may share it next episode!
Hey Mama!
Feeling weighed down by mom guilt after snapping at your kids or shutting down when you’re overstimulated? In this episode, I walk you through Biblical and practical paths to self-forgiveness so you can find peace for your mind and heart. Discover how to stop replaying mistakes, receive God’s grace, and live out real change at home. I’ll cover confession without shame, embracing Christ’s finished work, and modeling transformation so your kids learn grace by watching you.
If you’ve been wondering how to forgive yourself as a mom or you’re craving Biblical encouragement for moms, this episode will show you how Christian moms are overcoming guilt with God’s truth. If you’re ready to trade perfectionism for freedom and rest in motherhood, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways:
- Confess, don’t conceal: Naming your sin before God aligns your heart with truth and opens the door to freedom
- Receive grace fully: In Christ, you are forgiven. Don't dwell on the past as punishment, live in the freedom of His forgiveness
- Walk out transformation: Apologize, repair, and choose small, consistent changes so your kids see the gospel in action at home
More FREE Resources:
FREE Community: Break Free From Mom Guilt
Become a Restored Mind Family Member: Sign Up Here
Email: Hello@restoredmindllc.com
Ways You Can Give Back:
Leave A Review On Apple Podcast
It's time to become to the mom you want to be. Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Ever had that not so proud mommoment?
(00:05):
You know, the time where yousnapped at your child, or you
just secretly wished that theywould stop bothering you because
you're overstimulated and thenyou feel bad because now you
think you're being a bad mom.
But you know what?
It happens.
And that is why today we aretalking about self-forgiveness
(00:25):
God's way.
If you're ready to find peacefor your mind and heart, this
one is for you.
Overstimulation doesn't alwaysbring out the best in us Mama.
I have to be honest and say thatbecause I have been there and
you know what?
Sometimes we just need someonein our corner to say, Hey, it's
(00:49):
okay.
And.
And then cheer us on as we getback up and get back into the
ring.
That's why I created my freeonline community.
Break Free From Mom Guilt, aplace where Christian moms can
celebrate their wins, grow infaith, and get simple, practical
steps to becoming the momthey've always wanted to be.
(01:11):
Click the link in the show notesto join us.
I can't wait to see you thereand give you this really big,
much deserved warm welcome.
Hey Mama.
Overwhelmed by Mom Guilt.
I'm Caroline Tao, helpingChristian moms trade
(01:32):
perfectionism for freedom andrest.
Welcome to the Restored Mind,where Biblical wisdom meets
practical strategies forbecoming the mom You've always
wanted to be ready.
Let's do this.
Okay.
(01:52):
I have to tell you allsomething, I don't know what it
is, but I have been battlingthis congestion in my nose for a
week now, and I don't knowwhat's going on.
I don't have a fever.
My body's okay.
It's just.
Hard for me to talk because mynose is congested.
(02:12):
So if I come across the mic as aheavy breather this week, I am
so terribly sorry, but justbecause my nose is congested
does not mean we are going tosit this one out this week.
And I really wanted to talkabout this cringing topic.
At least when we look back onit, it's cringing, But it's of
(02:33):
us lashing out at our kidsbecause we are the
overstimulated ones, I mean, howmany times have we been so
overstimulated that when ourkids come into the room and try
to grab our attention or say,Hey mom, and the first thing
that comes outta your mouth iswhat?
Like you were just annoyed thatthey spoke to you.
(02:56):
I know I've had that happen tome many times, and I can tell
you that time and time againI've felt bad even as my kids
get older and they start tounderstand that my tone of voice
tells them that they're notwelcome to talk to me.
That just brings me back to atime where.
(03:16):
I was trying to doll myself up.
This was when I was in my mid tolate twenties and my oldest two
was about one and two years old,so they were still really young
then.
But I was dolling myself up andgetting ready and I was also so
incredibly angry and frustratedwith all of the interruptions It
felt like as soon as I would goto sit down and start putting my
(03:39):
makeup on, they needed somethingor someone would start crying,
or it just felt like I justcould not get myself together.
And then on top of that, I feltthe pressure of trying to finish
my makeup routine, or at leastjust put myself together before
a certain time so that we wouldnot be late to.
(04:02):
Wherever it is that we weregoing, I can't even remember
now.
It's been so long.
But that moment led to methinking about the times that I
have vented to my husband aboutnever getting any quote unquote
me time to do the girly thingsthat I used to do before
motherhood, and then suddenlymemory after memory of my not so
(04:24):
proud mom moments came floodingback along with the
embarrassment.
The feelings of regret andguilt, they would start piling
up because I rememberspecifically after I would vent
to my husband or snap at mykids, I would just storm off and
then I would take a deep breathas I entered a different room
(04:47):
and I would immediately think,why did I say that or Why did I
act that way?
I have to admit I wasn't proudof it and it wasn't my best
self.
Over time, those moments piledup and made it so hard for me to
forgive myself.
So maybe you've had those same,not so proud mom moments as
(05:12):
well.
You keep replaying them and theguilt just won't let up.
I know that cycle all too well,mama.
But the good news is that Goddoesn't leave us stuck there.
His words show us how to movefrom dwelling to redemption and
being restored.
(05:33):
And today I want to walk youthrough three ways we can start
practicing forgiveness.
God's way So you see the firststep is confession.
And when I say that, I don'tmean it to be in a shame filled
way at all, but more so in afreeing way The truth is we
can't heal if we're trying tohide from something, and
(05:55):
scripture tells us that in oneJohn chapter one, verse nine,
that when we confess our sins,God is faithful and just to
forgive us.
I've shared with this podcastbefore that I did not grow up a
Christian.
So the word confess sounded veryscary to me because I didn't
know what that looks like.
(06:16):
And you know what?
Pride kept me from being fullyhonest with what I did.
What I mean by that is I wouldjustify my actions based off of
how someone treated me, and itwas hard for me to open myself
up to the idea that I might havealso done something wrong in
(06:40):
that situation.
That also requires me to go andask for forgiveness.
And you know what?
I also didn't want to face thereality of my own choices and
vulnerability honestly feltrisky sometimes I couldn't even
name the specific mistake.
I just felt the weight of guiltwithout the words.
It's like I couldn't articulatewhy this weight was always on
(07:03):
me.
But I knew that I wanted tosomehow be free from it.
And I honestly believe that'swhy confession matters, because
it moves you from defendingyourself to agree with.
God about what isn't fruitful,and that same heart posture
showed up in how I carriedmyself as a mom.
(07:23):
So yes, I knew lashing out at mykids was wrong, but I didn't yet
understand why it was wrongbiblically, or how it strained
my relationship with my family,.
Now.
If you have been with theRestored Mind for a while, you
know that I love Word studies.
Recently I learned about theword confess, and it completely
(07:46):
changed how I see acknowledgingwhere I fall short.
The Greek word for confess ishomo gleo.
I'm hoping I did not butcherthat word up, And if I did, I'm
so sorry.
But I think it's so important tobreak down these words because
it really does bring a whole newperspective to what is being
(08:07):
read in scripture.
So homos means same and glio orlegal.
LEGO meaning to say, soessentially to confess is to say
the same as God about our sin,meaning.
We're admitting what's true andagreeing with what God says
(08:30):
about sin, not justacknowledging a mistake.
And yes, we can acknowledge amistake and not do anything to
change ourselves for the better.
And while sin is ever present,it does not need to hinder your
relationship.
With God.
This is why confession matters,because hiding is going to
continue to keep us stuck, butGod invites us into this
(08:53):
wonderful freedom theexpectation isn't perfection or
pretending to be blameless.
It's to walk with him, abide inhim, and keep coming back to
him.
When we confess God is faithfuland just to forgive and
cleanses.
Us so sin doesn't have to hinderour relationship with him.
(09:18):
Talking about this reminds me ofall the times that I have tried
to hide my mistakes from God,and I saw this reflected to me
through my kids because theyhave done this as well.
When they make a mistake, theydon't come to me and tell me
what they've done.
They try to hide what they'vemessed up, and we think if we
(09:39):
don't talk about it oracknowledge it, it'll just go
away.
It might make us feel better fora moment, But eventually it
builds up until we start tellingourselves that we aren't good
enough because we keep makingthese same mistakes that we
should know better or whatevernegative self-talk that's
brewing in your mind, it makesyou believe that you are not
(10:00):
good enough to be forgiven andthen it brings on shame and even
more guilt.
But the truth is, God is allknowing.
He already knows what we're nottelling him and whatever we are
telling him, it's not anythingnew.
But there is something trulyfreeing about placing it at the
(10:21):
feet of Jesus because it liftsthe weight off of your shoulder,
Now, does that mean that youwon't ever mess up again?
No, I think we're all gonna messup right at some point because
no one is perfect.
If you confess with theexpectation that you'll be
instantly and permanently freefrom whatever is tripping you up
then you set yourself up for agreater fall at the end.
(10:43):
But the more that you keepconfessing, the stronger your
relationship with God becomesConfession.
Mama keeps us coming back tohim.
And to who he is.
So the next time you catchyourself thinking, I can't
believe I just yelled like that,and you start replaying all of
(11:04):
the ways you've messed up, stopand name it before God.
Don't sugarcoat it or makeexcuses.
This is the moment to agree withGod about your mistakes, things
that are against God.
Now, once it's named before God,the next move isn't going to
continuously replay thatmistake.
It's receiving what Jesus hasalready secured for you.
(11:27):
Let's talk about living like hisforgiveness.
Is enough because so many moms,including myself, Feel like
they're not enough or that themistakes that they've made have
been too grand for God toforgive us.
And we carry the pressure to doit all and to keep it all
together, whether it beexpectations that we put on
(11:49):
ourselves or from societalnorms, what we think are
societal norms anyway, When Ibecame a first time mom, I
dropped out of college.
I really did.
I don't have a college degree.
And at one point I wanted to goback, but I didn't know what I
wanted to study because I hadlost a passion for what I
(12:09):
thought I wanted to do In my midto late twenties, I ended up
chasing the idea of being abeauty content creator.
So I had this platform on socialmedia and it took a long time.
But it finally started growing,but then life happened.
I had a miscarriage and I tooktime off of that platform to
(12:31):
grieve.
And when I came back, I realizedthat my love for it faded.
I had this conversation with myhusband that I didn't really
want to go back to create thesethings or talk about makeup and
whatever else'cause it justdidn't feel like me anymore.
I didn't know who I was, but Ialso in that time realized that
I didn't want to do this becauseI saw how it pulled me away from
(12:54):
my family and underneath it all,I kept wondering what was going
on?
Why did I feel like this?
And there was this question thatscreamed really loud over and
over and over again, and it was,who am I really?
I was so sure of myself beforemotherhood, and then all of a
sudden I wasn't so sure who Iwas or what I wanted after I had
(13:17):
this miscarriage.
Now, I shared this because mysearch for the quote unquote,
something more showed me that Ididn't know how to receive God's
grace.
I was trying to prove that I wasenough instead of receiving that
in Christ.
And when I say that, I wastrying to prove that I was
(13:38):
enough.
It was through all the tangiblethings that I could do.
But the truth is I'm alreadyforgiven in love, and that's
what we're talking about.
Learning to live like hisforgiveness is actually enough,
because it truly is.
I've spent this whole episodewarning against replaying the
(13:59):
past and getting stuck inunforgiveness but I have to
share this with you because Idon't want you to think that you
can never look back.
Because looking back canactually help us reminiscing on
what happened isn't the problem.
It becomes harmful when you useit to punish or shame yourself.
(14:21):
When you look back with God, youcan be grateful for the growth
that is happening because yousee his hand at work and
recognize how those trialsshaped you to who you are, and
it gets better.
It's also equipping you for whatis ahead.
So in other words, we don'tdwell to self punish.
(14:42):
We remember and recognize grace.
So we're ready to receive thenew thing God promises.
Isaiah chapter 43, verse 18 and19 says, forget the former
things.
Do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing.
Do you not perceive it?
(15:03):
Holding onto guilt is likesaying his new thing doesn't
apply to you, or that hisoffering isn't enough.
There is a time and place foreverything, and remembering the
past isn't bad at all, but thereis a time to leave it there and
move forward into what's infront of you.
So when God asks, do you notperceive it?
(15:25):
I would imagine him asking.
Would you recognize it if thisquote, unquote new thing were
placed in front of you or if youwalked right into it?
And that's where keeping in stepwith the spirit matters.
Just as the Holy Spirit ledJesus into the wilderness,
You'll also be led intowilderness seasons.
(15:46):
So the question is.
Are you willing to keep in stepwith him even when it's
uncomfortable and test?
You see, God's love has given usgrace.
He shows us mercy.
So what's keeping you Mama?
Forgiving yourself?
The way that he has forgivenyou.
so often I hear mamas, meincluded, become overly critical
(16:09):
of themselves.
It's easy to pick yourself apartand over the years it can become
a habit.
So when guilt resurfaces, speaktruth over it, mama.
Remind yourself that you areforgiven, that God is making
something new, that the spiritis in you and you want to keep
in step with the spirit.
Pray for his strength.
(16:30):
Thank him that he leads you togreen pastures and it lays you
down beside still waters.
Replace these self condemningthoughts with scripture that
comes from Romans eight, one.
There is no condemnation forthose who are in Christ Jesus.
Don't let these mistakes thatyou've made stop you from
(16:50):
becoming the mom that you'vealways wanted to be.
And you know what?
We just don't stop at saying,I'm forgiven and I receive God's
grace.
We need.
To step into thattransformation, it requires us
to take action so that ourchildren can see the gospel with
their own eyes.
Self-forgiveness doesn't erasethe moments.
(17:13):
But it does allow you to modelhumility and grace in front of
your kids.
And you know what?
I think our kids are the bestmirrors of life and really of
ourselves because they pick upon what we say and do and what
copy.
What they see as you movethrough these three steps.
Don't be afraid to make changesthat bring fruit into your
(17:35):
motherhood journey.
When we learn to forgiveourselves, it heals the part of
us that was hurt by what we'renot so proud of.
It keeps us from selfcondemnation and leads to
becoming a more healed andrestored version of yourself.
That transformation blesses youand strengthens your
relationship at home.
(17:57):
Kids learn.
Grace and forgiveness bywatching how it has changed us,
not by our perfection, becauselet's face it, we're far from
that.
When they see you confess,receive grace and then live
differently from that, theylearn to do that with their own
mistakes.
(18:17):
It's gonna take practice and thebest way that you can lead them
is by doing Transformation keepsguilt from becoming your
identity.
So instead of thinking I'm a badmom.
It now becomes, I'm a growingmom who is walking with Jesus
and learning to love better.
That includes you so how can youmodel this type of redemption or
(18:40):
this type of freedom?
The first step is, to start byletting your kids know that you
make mistakes too.
The next step is to ask them forforgiveness.
Then you forgive yourself, learnfrom it, and move on so that you
don't miss what God has placedin front of you.
Don't forget that physicalconnection is important, so hug
(19:03):
it out with your kids.
Make time for Cuddles.
They need to know that you stilllove them anyway, and that
you're human.
You're going to make a mistake.
And lastly, let your kids seethat mistakes aren't the end of
the story because God's gracealways makes a way forward.
(19:24):
All right, mama.
So I hope this episode reallyencouraged you to remember that
the point isn't to relive yourmistakes over and over again
that you've made in the past,but to release it through
forgiveness God's way.
So let's recap how, because thefirst thing we talked about was
confession which is naming whathappened before God instead of
(19:47):
trying to hide it.
We also talked about receivingGod's grace and stop replaying
the past to punish yourselfbecause mama in Christ, you are
forgiven.
And when you look back, noticethe growth that has happened and
recognize the new thing that Godis doing.
And then finally, we talkedabout transformation model that
(20:08):
redemption, that freedom foryour kids, apologize, repair
their relationship.
Show humility and livedifferently through these small
changes that you can make sothat they can also learn grace
through your example.
Forgiving yourself can be sohard, especially since
motherhood doesn't come with amanual book.
(20:31):
And we know that sometimes weget overstimulated and we
respond in ways that don'talways come off loving.
But remember, mama God's merciesare new every morning and you
can do hard things.
(20:52):
Thanks for hanging out with metoday, mama.
If this episode helped you inany way, would you do me a favor
and please share it with afellow mom that could also
benefit from this episode.
Until then, I'll see you nextWednesday, right here on this
podcast.
Go in peace.
Ever had that not so proud mommoment?
(00:05):
You know, the time where yousnapped at your child, or you
just secretly wished that theywould stop bothering you because
you're overstimulated and thenyou feel bad because now you
think you're being a bad mom.
But you know what?
It happens.
And that is why today we aretalking about self-forgiveness
(00:25):
God's way.
If you're ready to find peacefor your mind and heart, this
one is for you.
Overstimulation doesn't alwaysbring out the best in us Mama.
I have to be honest and say thatbecause I have been there and
you know what?
Sometimes we just need someonein our corner to say, Hey, it's
(00:49):
okay.
And.
And then cheer us on as we getback up and get back into the
ring.
That's why I created my freeonline community.
Break Free From Mom Guilt, aplace where Christian moms can
celebrate their wins, grow infaith, and get simple, practical
steps to becoming the momthey've always wanted to be.
(01:11):
Click the link in the show notesto join us.
I can't wait to see you thereand give you this really big,
much deserved warm welcome.
Hey Mama.
Overwhelmed by Mom Guilt.
I'm Caroline Tao, helpingChristian moms trade
(01:32):
perfectionism for freedom andrest.
Welcome to the Restored Mind,where Biblical wisdom meets
practical strategies forbecoming the mom You've always
wanted to be ready.
Let's do this.
Okay.
(01:52):
I have to tell you allsomething, I don't know what it
is, but I have been battlingthis congestion in my nose for a
week now, and I don't knowwhat's going on.
I don't have a fever.
My body's okay.
It's just.
Hard for me to talk because mynose is congested.
(02:12):
So if I come across the mic as aheavy breather this week, I am
so terribly sorry, but justbecause my nose is congested
does not mean we are going tosit this one out this week.
And I really wanted to talkabout this cringing topic.
At least when we look back onit, it's cringing, But it's of
(02:33):
us lashing out at our kidsbecause we are the
overstimulated ones, I mean, howmany times have we been so
overstimulated that when ourkids come into the room and try
to grab our attention or say,Hey mom, and the first thing
that comes outta your mouth iswhat?
Like you were just annoyed thatthey spoke to you.
(02:56):
I know I've had that happen tome many times, and I can tell
you that time and time againI've felt bad even as my kids
get older and they start tounderstand that my tone of voice
tells them that they're notwelcome to talk to me.
That just brings me back to atime where.
(03:16):
I was trying to doll myself up.
This was when I was in my mid tolate twenties and my oldest two
was about one and two years old,so they were still really young
then.
But I was dolling myself up andgetting ready and I was also so
incredibly angry and frustratedwith all of the interruptions It
felt like as soon as I would goto sit down and start putting my
(03:39):
makeup on, they needed somethingor someone would start crying,
or it just felt like I justcould not get myself together.
And then on top of that, I feltthe pressure of trying to finish
my makeup routine, or at leastjust put myself together before
a certain time so that we wouldnot be late to.
(04:02):
Wherever it is that we weregoing, I can't even remember
now.
It's been so long.
But that moment led to methinking about the times that I
have vented to my husband aboutnever getting any quote unquote
me time to do the girly thingsthat I used to do before
motherhood, and then suddenlymemory after memory of my not so
(04:24):
proud mom moments came floodingback along with the
embarrassment.
The feelings of regret andguilt, they would start piling
up because I rememberspecifically after I would vent
to my husband or snap at mykids, I would just storm off and
then I would take a deep breathas I entered a different room
(04:47):
and I would immediately think,why did I say that or Why did I
act that way?
I have to admit I wasn't proudof it and it wasn't my best
self.
Over time, those moments piledup and made it so hard for me to
forgive myself.
So maybe you've had those same,not so proud mom moments as
(05:12):
well.
You keep replaying them and theguilt just won't let up.
I know that cycle all too well,mama.
But the good news is that Goddoesn't leave us stuck there.
His words show us how to movefrom dwelling to redemption and
being restored.
(05:33):
And today I want to walk youthrough three ways we can start
practicing forgiveness.
God's way So you see the firststep is confession.
And when I say that, I don'tmean it to be in a shame filled
way at all, but more so in afreeing way The truth is we
can't heal if we're trying tohide from something, and
(05:55):
scripture tells us that in oneJohn chapter one, verse nine,
that when we confess our sins,God is faithful and just to
forgive us.
I've shared with this podcastbefore that I did not grow up a
Christian.
So the word confess sounded veryscary to me because I didn't
know what that looks like.
(06:16):
And you know what?
Pride kept me from being fullyhonest with what I did.
What I mean by that is I wouldjustify my actions based off of
how someone treated me, and itwas hard for me to open myself
up to the idea that I might havealso done something wrong in
(06:40):
that situation.
That also requires me to go andask for forgiveness.
And you know what?
I also didn't want to face thereality of my own choices and
vulnerability honestly feltrisky sometimes I couldn't even
name the specific mistake.
I just felt the weight of guiltwithout the words.
It's like I couldn't articulatewhy this weight was always on
(07:03):
me.
But I knew that I wanted tosomehow be free from it.
And I honestly believe that'swhy confession matters, because
it moves you from defendingyourself to agree with.
God about what isn't fruitful,and that same heart posture
showed up in how I carriedmyself as a mom.
(07:23):
So yes, I knew lashing out at mykids was wrong, but I didn't yet
understand why it was wrongbiblically, or how it strained
my relationship with my family,.
Now.
If you have been with theRestored Mind for a while, you
know that I love Word studies.
Recently I learned about theword confess, and it completely
(07:46):
changed how I see acknowledgingwhere I fall short.
The Greek word for confess ishomo gleo.
I'm hoping I did not butcherthat word up, And if I did, I'm
so sorry.
But I think it's so important tobreak down these words because
it really does bring a whole newperspective to what is being
(08:07):
read in scripture.
So homos means same and glio orlegal.
LEGO meaning to say, soessentially to confess is to say
the same as God about our sin,meaning.
We're admitting what's true andagreeing with what God says
(08:30):
about sin, not justacknowledging a mistake.
And yes, we can acknowledge amistake and not do anything to
change ourselves for the better.
And while sin is ever present,it does not need to hinder your
relationship.
With God.
This is why confession matters,because hiding is going to
continue to keep us stuck, butGod invites us into this
(08:53):
wonderful freedom theexpectation isn't perfection or
pretending to be blameless.
It's to walk with him, abide inhim, and keep coming back to
him.
When we confess God is faithfuland just to forgive and
cleanses.
Us so sin doesn't have to hinderour relationship with him.
(09:18):
Talking about this reminds me ofall the times that I have tried
to hide my mistakes from God,and I saw this reflected to me
through my kids because theyhave done this as well.
When they make a mistake, theydon't come to me and tell me
what they've done.
They try to hide what they'vemessed up, and we think if we
(09:39):
don't talk about it oracknowledge it, it'll just go
away.
It might make us feel better fora moment, But eventually it
builds up until we start tellingourselves that we aren't good
enough because we keep makingthese same mistakes that we
should know better or whatevernegative self-talk that's
brewing in your mind, it makesyou believe that you are not
(10:00):
good enough to be forgiven andthen it brings on shame and even
more guilt.
But the truth is, God is allknowing.
He already knows what we're nottelling him and whatever we are
telling him, it's not anythingnew.
But there is something trulyfreeing about placing it at the
(10:21):
feet of Jesus because it liftsthe weight off of your shoulder,
Now, does that mean that youwon't ever mess up again?
No, I think we're all gonna messup right at some point because
no one is perfect.
If you confess with theexpectation that you'll be
instantly and permanently freefrom whatever is tripping you up
then you set yourself up for agreater fall at the end.
(10:43):
But the more that you keepconfessing, the stronger your
relationship with God becomesConfession.
Mama keeps us coming back tohim.
And to who he is.
So the next time you catchyourself thinking, I can't
believe I just yelled like that,and you start replaying all of
(11:04):
the ways you've messed up, stopand name it before God.
Don't sugarcoat it or makeexcuses.
This is the moment to agree withGod about your mistakes, things
that are against God.
Now, once it's named before God,the next move isn't going to
continuously replay thatmistake.
It's receiving what Jesus hasalready secured for you.
(11:27):
Let's talk about living like hisforgiveness.
Is enough because so many moms,including myself, Feel like
they're not enough or that themistakes that they've made have
been too grand for God toforgive us.
And we carry the pressure to doit all and to keep it all
together, whether it beexpectations that we put on
(11:49):
ourselves or from societalnorms, what we think are
societal norms anyway, When Ibecame a first time mom, I
dropped out of college.
I really did.
I don't have a college degree.
And at one point I wanted to goback, but I didn't know what I
wanted to study because I hadlost a passion for what I
(12:09):
thought I wanted to do In my midto late twenties, I ended up
chasing the idea of being abeauty content creator.
So I had this platform on socialmedia and it took a long time.
But it finally started growing,but then life happened.
I had a miscarriage and I tooktime off of that platform to
(12:31):
grieve.
And when I came back, I realizedthat my love for it faded.
I had this conversation with myhusband that I didn't really
want to go back to create thesethings or talk about makeup and
whatever else'cause it justdidn't feel like me anymore.
I didn't know who I was, but Ialso in that time realized that
I didn't want to do this becauseI saw how it pulled me away from
(12:54):
my family and underneath it all,I kept wondering what was going
on?
Why did I feel like this?
And there was this question thatscreamed really loud over and
over and over again, and it was,who am I really?
I was so sure of myself beforemotherhood, and then all of a
sudden I wasn't so sure who Iwas or what I wanted after I had
(13:17):
this miscarriage.
Now, I shared this because mysearch for the quote unquote,
something more showed me that Ididn't know how to receive God's
grace.
I was trying to prove that I wasenough instead of receiving that
in Christ.
And when I say that, I wastrying to prove that I was
(13:38):
enough.
It was through all the tangiblethings that I could do.
But the truth is I'm alreadyforgiven in love, and that's
what we're talking about.
Learning to live like hisforgiveness is actually enough,
because it truly is.
I've spent this whole episodewarning against replaying the
(13:59):
past and getting stuck inunforgiveness but I have to
share this with you because Idon't want you to think that you
can never look back.
Because looking back canactually help us reminiscing on
what happened isn't the problem.
It becomes harmful when you useit to punish or shame yourself.
(14:21):
When you look back with God, youcan be grateful for the growth
that is happening because yousee his hand at work and
recognize how those trialsshaped you to who you are, and
it gets better.
It's also equipping you for whatis ahead.
So in other words, we don'tdwell to self punish.
(14:42):
We remember and recognize grace.
So we're ready to receive thenew thing God promises.
Isaiah chapter 43, verse 18 and19 says, forget the former
things.
Do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing.
Do you not perceive it?
(15:03):
Holding onto guilt is likesaying his new thing doesn't
apply to you, or that hisoffering isn't enough.
There is a time and place foreverything, and remembering the
past isn't bad at all, but thereis a time to leave it there and
move forward into what's infront of you.
So when God asks, do you notperceive it?
(15:25):
I would imagine him asking.
Would you recognize it if thisquote, unquote new thing were
placed in front of you or if youwalked right into it?
And that's where keeping in stepwith the spirit matters.
Just as the Holy Spirit ledJesus into the wilderness,
You'll also be led intowilderness seasons.
(15:46):
So the question is.
Are you willing to keep in stepwith him even when it's
uncomfortable and test?
You see, God's love has given usgrace.
He shows us mercy.
So what's keeping you Mama?
Forgiving yourself?
The way that he has forgivenyou.
so often I hear mamas, meincluded, become overly critical
(16:09):
of themselves.
It's easy to pick yourself apartand over the years it can become
a habit.
So when guilt resurfaces, speaktruth over it, mama.
Remind yourself that you areforgiven, that God is making
something new, that the spiritis in you and you want to keep
in step with the spirit.
Pray for his strength.
(16:30):
Thank him that he leads you togreen pastures and it lays you
down beside still waters.
Replace these self condemningthoughts with scripture that
comes from Romans eight, one.
There is no condemnation forthose who are in Christ Jesus.
Don't let these mistakes thatyou've made stop you from
(16:50):
becoming the mom that you'vealways wanted to be.
And you know what?
We just don't stop at saying,I'm forgiven and I receive God's
grace.
We need.
To step into thattransformation, it requires us
to take action so that ourchildren can see the gospel with
their own eyes.
Self-forgiveness doesn't erasethe moments.
(17:13):
But it does allow you to modelhumility and grace in front of
your kids.
And you know what?
I think our kids are the bestmirrors of life and really of
ourselves because they pick upon what we say and do and what
copy.
What they see as you movethrough these three steps.
Don't be afraid to make changesthat bring fruit into your
(17:35):
motherhood journey.
When we learn to forgiveourselves, it heals the part of
us that was hurt by what we'renot so proud of.
It keeps us from selfcondemnation and leads to
becoming a more healed andrestored version of yourself.
That transformation blesses youand strengthens your
relationship at home.
(17:57):
Kids learn.
Grace and forgiveness bywatching how it has changed us,
not by our perfection, becauselet's face it, we're far from
that.
When they see you confess,receive grace and then live
differently from that, theylearn to do that with their own
mistakes.
(18:17):
It's gonna take practice and thebest way that you can lead them
is by doing Transformation keepsguilt from becoming your
identity.
So instead of thinking I'm a badmom.
It now becomes, I'm a growingmom who is walking with Jesus
and learning to love better.
That includes you so how can youmodel this type of redemption or
(18:40):
this type of freedom?
The first step is, to start byletting your kids know that you
make mistakes too.
The next step is to ask them forforgiveness.
Then you forgive yourself, learnfrom it, and move on so that you
don't miss what God has placedin front of you.
Don't forget that physicalconnection is important, so hug
(19:03):
it out with your kids.
Make time for Cuddles.
They need to know that you stilllove them anyway, and that
you're human.
You're going to make a mistake.
And lastly, let your kids seethat mistakes aren't the end of
the story because God's gracealways makes a way forward.
(19:24):
All right, mama.
So I hope this episode reallyencouraged you to remember that
the point isn't to relive yourmistakes over and over again
that you've made in the past,but to release it through
forgiveness God's way.
So let's recap how, because thefirst thing we talked about was
confession which is naming whathappened before God instead of
(19:47):
trying to hide it.
We also talked about receivingGod's grace and stop replaying
the past to punish yourselfbecause mama in Christ, you are
forgiven.
And when you look back, noticethe growth that has happened and
recognize the new thing that Godis doing.
And then finally, we talkedabout transformation model that
(20:08):
redemption, that freedom foryour kids, apologize, repair
their relationship.
Show humility and livedifferently through these small
changes that you can make sothat they can also learn grace
through your example.
Forgiving yourself can be sohard, especially since
motherhood doesn't come with amanual book.
(20:31):
And we know that sometimes weget overstimulated and we
respond in ways that don'talways come off loving.
But remember, mama God's merciesare new every morning and you
can do hard things.
(20:52):
Thanks for hanging out with metoday, mama.
If this episode helped you inany way, would you do me a favor
and please share it with afellow mom that could also
benefit from this episode.
Until then, I'll see you nextWednesday, right here on this
podcast.
Go in peace.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.