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December 3, 2025 15 mins

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Hey Mama!

Do you ever feel like you can't truly enjoy time with your family because there's always something else you "should" be doing? As a Christian mom, that invisible to-do list can rob you of the very moments you're working so hard to create.

In this episode, we're exploring why joy isn't a luxury you earn after everything's done—it's actually biblical obedience and the source of your strength.You'll discover how the lie that "you can relax once everything is done" keeps you from experiencing God's gift of presence with your family.

Key Takeaways:

  • True joy rooted in God gives you strength to keep going, even when life feels overwhelming
  • Being present with your family honors God just as much as serving does
  • You don't have to do everything in one day or by yourself

Ready to give yourself permission to be fully present this season? Listen to the full episode and follow The Restored Mind for more biblical encouragement. 


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It's time to become to the mom you want to be. Remember, you can do hard things!
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me"- Philippians 4:13


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Lately you've been tellingyourself you're relaxed once
everything is done.
But what if joy isn't somethingthat you earn?
It's something God is invitingyou into right now today.
Discover why delighting in themoment honors God just as much
as serving does, and what'sreally keeping you from it.

(00:26):
Hey Mama.
Overwhelmed by Mom Guilt.
I'm Caroline Tao, helpingChristian moms trade
perfectionism for freedom andrest.
Welcome to the Restored Mind,where Biblical wisdom meets
practical strategies forbecoming the mom You've always
wanted to be ready.
Let's do this.

(00:51):
The Discover Your Mom Guild typequiz has officially launched,
and it is a great tool for youto begin understanding your
specific guilt type because whenyou know what is driving that
guilt, you can start showing upas the mom you truly want to be.
And I am so excited for you totake this quiz.
It's super short and very easyto complete.

(01:12):
So go and take the mom guiltquiz and start breaking free
from Mom Guilt today.
The link is in the show notes.
Mama.
Hello and welcome back.
Happy December and welcome backto the Restored Mind.

(01:33):
it is so good to be here withyou today, mamas.
I'm so excited to be back withthese biweekly episode releases.
It's been a great break, butI've also missed chatting with
you every week, and as Decemberis starting, I know that the
excitement, the anticipation forChristmas has been building up,
or maybe you've already had yourChristmas tree up since

(01:55):
November.
I don't know.
Are you that Mama?
If you are, let me know in oursmall community.
I will link that in the shownotes for you.
But I have a question that Iwant to ask you.
have you ever been half in themoment and half in your to-do
list?
I remember being just like this,um, as I'm thinking about

(02:16):
Christmas morning, many yearsback.
I was in the kitchen, washingdishes, cleaning up, or doing
something else while everyoneelse was in the living room
opening presents.
Now, at the time, my littlefamily and I were living in an
apartment, and from the kitchenyou could see out into the
living room area, but in ourfamily.

(02:39):
We opened presents afterbreakfast.
So as the kids rushed to openthe presents, I was cleaning up
and I thought I was always apart of the gift opening.
But there were times where Icaught myself wondering if I was
really part of that moment.
Now, this thought was just athought in passing, so I didn't
think too much of it becauseessentially I was there when my

(03:02):
kids would raise up their giftand say, mom, look.
Look what I got.
I would respond with excitement,and say something like, wow,
that's so cool.
So I felt like I was there, butit wasn't until a few years ago
when my youngest asked why I wasalways getting up to go to the
kitchen whenever somethingexciting was about to happen and

(03:25):
it just so happened to beChristmas morning again when she
had asked me this and it got mewondering, is that what she's
going to remember?
Everyone enjoying their giftswhile I'm serving my family,
serving guests, and taking careof other things.
That was the moment I realizedthat I was not intentionally

(03:46):
removing myself, but that I feltI could serve better somewhere
else.
And if you're like me, maybeyou've caught yourself in those
same moments, too half present,half thinking about the next
thing that needs to get done.
And here's what I've realized,that pull to serve is not wrong,

(04:06):
but when it becomes the reasonthat we can't fully enter the
joy right in front of us, that'swhen we're missing something God
actually invites us into.
Because somewhere along the way,many of us mamas have believed
the lie that joy has to beearned, that we can relax and be
fully present once everything ishandled.

(04:28):
But what if joy isn't somethingthat we earn?
What if delighting in the momentwith your family honors God as
much as serving them?
Does?
So today I wanna talk about atruth that can shift how you
show up this season, not just asdoing all the things, but as the
mom who's allowed to enjoy them.

(04:50):
So take this episode as yourpermission to allow you to enjoy
these moments with your family.
And I know we're only in thebeginning of December, but
Christmas is going to be fastlyapproaching us, and we can get
lost in the hustle and bustle ofthe holidays.
So if nothing else sticks to youtoday.

(05:11):
I want you to just fully immerseyourself in the moment with your
family and give yourself thatpermission.
So the shift that I ended upmaking this mindset shift that
helped me release myself fromall of the to-do lists during
important moments is tounderstand that joy is obedience

(05:33):
and not a luxury that I earn.
So let's talk about what joyactually means, because
sometimes we confuse it withhappiness or excitement, and joy
has this meaning It's a Greekword cara that derives from
Caris, which is the Greek wordfor grace of God.

(05:53):
And by the way, I have todisclose that there is a very
good chance I am mispronouncingthese Greek words.
So please extend me the graceand I ask for your forgiveness
is as, uh, you are listening tothis and you're probably like,
that's not how you say it.
I promise you I'm not doing iton purpose.
And I really just want you tounderstand the true meaning of

(06:14):
joy because it's not just anemotion that comes and goes with
our circumstances.
Galatians 5 22 says, but thefruit of the spirit is love,
joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self-control.
And so as you can see, true joyis the food of the spirit.

(06:36):
Deeper than happiness.
It's rooted in God's grace andit's not just an emotion that
comes and goes with ourcircumstances.
I used to wonder how peoplewould have this composure about
them whenever life would justkind of turn, take a turn for
the worse or they would bechallenged by life's
circumstances.
And it never really dawned on methat they could potentially have

(06:59):
had this true joy that is rootedin God.
And it comes from knowing andunderstanding who he is.
And that to me is such apowerful thing to have, to have
true joy that's rooted in God,so that we don't think of it as
this.
Luxury.
We think of it as an obedienceto honor God when we are present

(07:21):
with our family.
So we see Nehemiah eight wherethe people were weeping when
they heard God's words, feelingthe weight of their failure.
And as a mom, I know we have allfelt that at some point maybe we
didn't understand why our kidswere so incredibly clingy to us
not wanting anyone else or whythey cried so much.
Maybe we missed certain eventsin their life.

(07:45):
And maybe we felt guilty.
And so that can make us thinkthat we are not a good mom,, but
we see in this story too, thatinstead of God leaving them in
guilt, God redirects themtowards his joy and his gracious
favor and restoration.
And that's why Nehemiah chaptereight, verse 10 says.
The joy of the Lord is theirstrength, so he's not simply

(08:09):
telling them to cheer up.
He's telling them to receive hisgracious joy as the source of
their strength.
So when you enjoy time with yourfamily or you delight in the
moment, mama, you are notfalling behind or taking quote
unquote unnecessary breaks.
Not at all.
What is happening is that youare experiencing a gift from God

(08:32):
that is meant to strengthen you.
It gives you the rest that isneeded as you continue to serve
joyfully and the weight of usfeeling like we have failed our
family at some point.
That gets redirected in our lifeas we receive that joy, And so

(08:55):
when you have true joy, it doesnot overshadow your shortcomings
at all.
It actually magnifies the gloryand the wonderful awesomeness
that is our Lord.
And here's what I really wantyou to hear.
Joy is not something you need toearn.
Joy is actually nourishment foryour soul.

(09:17):
It sets your mind and your hearttowards Jesus.
So to enjoy or to take delightin this moment is nourishment
for those things, for your mindand your heart, because you get
to experience the joy that ispresent with you as a gift from
God.
Oftentimes, we think that thesegifts from God need to be

(09:39):
something super extravagant, butseeing these little moments as a
gift from God.
There is just something sobeautiful about it that makes
you want to cherish it and makesyou want to honor it by
remembering him and by beinggrateful that you get to witness
and be a part of this moment.

(09:59):
Because if I'm honest, thatmoment won't last long.
Being with your family in thetime of celebration is just a
moment.
It's very fleeting.
Just as your everyday life.
We fight all year round to bewith our family and to enjoy the
moment and just to sit andrelax, and we have all of these
things going on in our mindsthroughout the year that when it

(10:20):
comes down to the holidays, wefight really hard to try to
spend this time with them.
And so let's not take that fightfor granted.
Let's use the best of what we'vegot so that we can be in the
moment with our family.
I am going to share somethingwith you that is probably going
to be incredibly relatable, butas a perfectionist.

(10:43):
You've probably been living withan invisible rule book with all
of these unwritten standards forhow your meals should look, how
your house should be kept, andhow your day should go.
It's like you have theseboundaries for the plan that is
ahead of you, and then when theplan slips or when something
unexpected happens, you start tofeel like you're falling behind.

(11:03):
So.
For example, if your child ishome sick, you might start to
feel like you're falling behind'cause you're not able to
complete the tasks that you hadalready thought up of in your
mind the day before or as yousit and.
Plan out your week if you are aplanner, and you're probably
worried about the future aswell, especially if you're a mom

(11:25):
who's always time traveling,trying to get ahead of yourself
in the anticipation of howthings might go wrong.
So you are making a backup planfor your backup plan and that
backup plan.
Has a backup plan.
You've been hustling to controlthings that are out of your
control by trying to do moretoday at the expense of your

(11:46):
tiredness or the gift of beingfully present with your family.
And the common lie that most mombelieve is that you can relax
and enjoy the moment onceeverything is done.
Once it's done, you can just sitand relax and not be bothered by
anything else, but the truth isyou'll never be done.

(12:07):
There will always be somethingelse that you have to do.
Now, it's true.
There are a lot of things thatare on our to-do list, but mama,
you don't have to do it all inone day, and you don't have to
do it all by yourself.
So take the moment and enjoy thetime with your family.
When you tie your permission toexperience joy, to your

(12:30):
productivity, or your ability toprevent future problems,
whatever it may be, you'remissing what God's inviting you
into right now in this moment.
Sometimes I don't wanna have toget up from my desk to go and
see what my daughter created,but I also know that the more
times I reject her and saying,I'm busy right now, the less

(12:53):
time she'll come and ask me togo see this great thing that she
created.
And it's very similar.
The more times that you end upslipping away, the more your
kids are going to notice and.
When my daughter asked me why Ialways have to get up whenever
there's something eventfulthat's happening with the
family, that was an eyeopenerfor me, and I would hope that

(13:14):
you don't get to that pointbecause it really does hurt and
it really does make you wonder,is this something that my kids
going to remember?
Because truth is I don't wantthem to remember me that way.
I want them to remember theversion of me that was involved
in their lives, that was presentin the moments, even if they're
not always talking to me.
It's the presence of us beingthere that truly matters to

(13:35):
them.
So how do we live out thisGod-given joy first, I would
challenge you to let otherthings wait while you are in the
moment with your family as theygather this season.
What can wait?
What is clueing you in for whatyour family needs right now and
what you need right now?
Do you absolutely need to washthe dishes?

(13:56):
Probably not.
Do you absolutely need to go andtidy up somewhere?
Probably not.
No one is going to notice thatthe table is still messy, that
the dishes are in the sink.
They're going to be in themoment, and you're going to miss
it if you are not there withthem.
So just be conscious of thedecisions that you are making.
Where are you choosing to putyour time?

(14:18):
Because that moment is fleetingand you don't wanna miss out.
All right, mama.
As we are wrapping up, here'swhat I want you to remember.
Joy isn't a luxury that you earnafter everything's done, okay?
It is actually obedience becauseit is the fruit of the spirit,
and you get that joy throughobedience this week.

(14:39):
Give yourself permission to siton the floor or on the couch
with your kids and just be fullypresent with them delighting in
the moment that honors God justas much as serving does.
And that joy that I've beentalking about, it's actually
what gives you the strength tokeep going.
So if this episode encouragedyou, make sure to follow the
show so you don't miss futureepisodes, especially since the

(15:02):
restored mind is slowing downthrough the rest of the year
with biweekly episode releases.
I know that it can be hard tohave the joy of the Lord as a
strength and to be present,especially with the hustle and
bustle of all of the holidaychaos.
But just know and remember thatyou can be the mom you want to
be.

(15:22):
And yes, it gets hard, but youcan do hard things.
Thanks for hanging out with metoday, mama.
If this episode blessed you inany way, would you share it with
another mom who you think mightneed this message today?

(15:43):
I can't wait to be back with yousoon.
Go in peace..
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