Bonus Episode - The Debate of the Century

- Tune in every Monday for a new episode of "The Saints That Serve Podcast" -

🌙 The Twilight debate continues! In this special bonus episode, we take a deep dive into the age-old question: Team Edward or Team Jacob? Our hosts break down the strengths and weaknesses of both iconic characters, analyzing their personalities, relationships, and what they each represent in the saga.

💎 Why choose Edward? His immortality, mind-reading abilities, unwavering devotion, and, of course, his signature sparkling skin.
🐺 Why choose Jacob? His deep loyalty, emotional warmth, protective instincts, and the undeniable freedom that comes with being a shape-shifting wolf.

We explore the themes of love, destiny, and personal choice—asking what each character truly offers Bella (and by extension, the audience). Is Edward’s eternal love worth the sacrifices? Does Jacob’s grounded, human connection make him the better choice?

📢 Where do you stand? Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob—and why? Join the discussion in the comments!

If you want to send us a question or a comment you can by texting us by clicking this link!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys, here's some bonus content from the Saints
that Serve podcast.
I hope you enjoy it.
Bonus Okay, we are droppingthis bonus content because we
need you, our audience, to helpresolve this debate.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I don't understand.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
It's not a debate, it's obviously a clear choice,
dude, but I would disagree withyour obvious clear choice
because my choice is so obvious.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
If it's a clear choice, then it's the obvious
choice and you don't have todebate it.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yeah, but your clear is like a swampy lake you can't
see past the surface.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
My clear- is like glass.
Your clear is a human body,your father is not a glassmaker.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
No, no, no, no.
Anyways, okay, listen, guys.
We got into this discussionafter our most recent podcast
recording and it got very heatedvery quick and we said we're
gonna settle this bonus contentstyle.
So here we are.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
I don't I don't even think this needs to be bonus.
Content is is obvious.
I don't know it needs to.
I don't know we're gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
We're gonna take this out and we're gonna duke it out
on the mics.
So I have my defense for thelegitimate side to take and you
have your, your lies that you'regonna present oh, my lies my
lies.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Okay, okay, that's right, I don't need lies, I'll
have my facts prove me rightfacts, like the old machine that
takes a million years to printsomething.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Obviously, you can't read.
We talk about it on the podcastall the time.
F-a-c-t, bro, you know whatBack off.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
All right, you know what?
No, no, no, no no.
No, don't back off.
Go ahead, give me your firstdefense for where you know what.
No, before we get into it.
Everyone needs to understandwhere we're coming from.
All right, so we were arguingabout Twilight, and who is the
best choice?
Is it sloppy, lame,glitter-covered Edward, or is it

(01:58):
the obvious choice of Jacob?
Today must be opposite day.
No, no, no, no, no, becauseyou're wrong.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, no, no,
Because you're wrong.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes.
Team Jacob, here we go.
Okay, go ahead.
Tell me your number one reasonwhy everyone should be deceived
into being.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Team Edward.
See, I'm the intelligent one,so I have my notes with me.
So I'm going to read off mynotes, because I bet you didn't
bring any notes, did you?

Speaker 1 (02:29):
No, I brought it from the heart, from the heart.
That's right, because everyoneknows that truth comes from the
heart.
Team.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Edward Cullen.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to face the facts.
Team Edward is the only logicalchoice.
Why, you ask?
Well, first and foremost,edward Cullen, he's immortal bro
, he's immortal.
Jacob may have abs, bro, butabs fade.

(02:57):
Immortality is forever.
Edward's eternal youth meanshe's essentially a timeless
boyfriend man.
Bella deserves that, which isgreat for the date night photos
Never a wrinkle in sight.
Plus, can you imagine Edward ina skincare commercial For the

(03:19):
undead glow?
Picture it, bro.
Picture it All right.
Edward Cullen, he's immortalbro, he's immortal.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
No, no, no, no, no.
Okay, you're talking about abs.
Here's the thing that everyoneneeds to understand.
Jacob has abs that could gratecheese.
Cheese is awful.
Dude Dairy is the solution toall things around the world, and
Jacob can grate it intodelicious Mexican-style spread
cheese on your tacos.

(03:47):
All right, edward Cullen, hehas the emotional range of a
damp sponge.
Okay, spongebob SquarePants canbe more emotionally connected
to you than Edward Cullen.
All right, you just said asponge is not emotional.
Why brood for the eternity whenyou can flex forever?

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Flex forever.
Yeah, dude Bro is not immortal.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
Jacob is a certified gym bro.
Edward is a certified gloom bro.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
A what?

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Gloom bro.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
What the heck is a gloom bro.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
G-L-O-O-M Bro.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Whatever, you know what Edward bro?
He has a Volvo.
It's responsible, sleek andsophisticated.
Meanwhile, jacob's motorcyclemight look cool, bro.
But good luck taking that to aformal event.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Dude, you're going to look like trash.
Jacob's motorcycle screamsfreedom and adventure.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Dude, have you ever tried arriving at prom on a
motorcycle?
Not as glamorous as it youthink, is it bro.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, but Edward's Volvo screams.
I'm monitoring your every move.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Who would you trust to drive you through a
thunderstorm?
I'll take the eternal vampirewith a luxury car over the
shirtless wolf boy on a dartbike Nah dude Wind in your hair
versus looming headlights in therear view Jacob hot rod, edward
hot mess.
How about hotness?
All right.
And speaking of hotness, let'snot forget about Edward's

(05:21):
sparkling skin.
He literally radiates like adiamond bro.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, but Jacob rocks the shirtless.
Look like a pro.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
Dude, you think Jacob's earthy must can compete
with that?

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, but Edward's sparkle is like a failed craft
project.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Not a chance dude.
Edward practically invented theconcept of looking flawless
under the sun.
Plus, if you ever get lost,just follow the glitter.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Dude, confidence beats glitter every time.
Jacob.
Men's health cover.
Edward.
Bedazzled lawn ornament.
Bedazzled lawn ornament.
You heard me Bedazzled lawnornament.
At least my bro is not ananimal, dude.
Dude, if a lawn gnome and alighthouse had a baby, it would

(06:08):
be Edward Cullen.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
And he would stand glorious, shining all to see,
yeah all to see, and it would bewonderful for them all.
Furthermore, edward bringsdrama and danger in a good way.
Dude, listen, every singlerelationship needs just a little
bit of spice sprinkled in.
Every single relationship needsjust a little bit of spice
sprinkled in.
And when your boyfriend canread minds and battle rogue

(06:32):
vampires, life is never dull.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
No, no, no, no, no.
Jacob has a supportive werewolfpack.
They laugh, fight and roastmarshmallows together.
Edward's family, tense, vampirestandoffs and awkward piano
solos Pack dinner, s'mores,cullen dinners.
We're not like other vampires,listen dinner season.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
I got three words for dinner.
Okay, think about this.
You're trying to eat your food,right Furry shedding season.
Hair everywhere Hair in thefood, hair in your drinks, hair,
hair in the just clogging thedrain, dude.
Dating edward means dodgingvampire assassins.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Dating jacob means vacuuming constantly he only has
fur when he morphs into a wolf.
It's not like it's around allthe time.
24, 77.
He is a fit, lean man.
Jacob is naturally strong.
No glitter, no problem.
Edward's strength comes withexistential dread.

(07:37):
Real muscles beat sad boytelepathy.
Jacob equals Jim Ratt, whereasEdward's more of a poetry club.
President.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Okay, look, yes, he can read minds.
Edward can read minds, right,that is a plus, that is a
positive.
It means he actuallyunderstands what you're thinking
, no more, I'm finemisunderstandings, dude.
Jacob, on the other hand,relies on good old guesswork.
Spoiler alert he's wrong, like90% of the time, jacob's
strength is real, raw and earned.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
No vampire powers necessary.
Edward's strength, meanwhile,is overshadowed by his constant
inner monologue I can lift a car, but what's the point of
existence?
Okay, buddy, maybe touch somegrass dude.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
Edward might be a vampire, but at least he doesn't
shed like a golden retriever ona hot day.
Your vacuum cleaner would thankyou for going.
Team Edward Jacob's sheddingsituation Enough to knit a new
sweater every single month.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Jacob's connection to his wolf form is primal and
majestic.
Edward's vampire form, Pale,brooding and one misplaced
sunbeam away from a my LittlePony tribute act.
Jacob runs free in the wild.
Edward hides in the shadowslike the world's least festive

(09:06):
pinata.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Okay, okay, look, look, look.
Okay, I've proved my and you'vetalked okay.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
I wouldn't say that.
I would say that my point'svery clear, and you have only
talked about fur the entire time.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Fur everywhere is like the worst possible
situation.
There's not fur everywhere.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
You keep on bringing it up like it's there and it's
not.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
Can you prove?
It's not there.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Can you prove it is?
Yeah, it's right there.
No, no, no.
My facts F-A-X maybe, no, no,no, no.
You can't use my joke back onme.
I just did my truth.
Bombs, okay, have been madevery clear and I'm confident to
say that everyone listening is,if they're not already, team

(09:49):
Jacob is becoming Team Jacobright now.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
That's crazy, because those people must be morons,
because everybody's coming overto Team Edward.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
You heard that Every listener Jera, said that you're
morons.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
Only if you like wolf men, and I think that they all
do.
Listen, listen, okay, okay,just say your closing statement
so we can get to me being rightat the end.

Speaker 1 (10:11):
No, no, no, You're not right, but I will, as a good
and loving pro-Team Jacob, giveyou my closing statement.
Team Jacob is about passion,adventure and a life well lived.
No sparkle, no brooding, just aguy who will always have your

(10:32):
back and maybe howl at the moonmoon once in a while.
Vote Team Jacob.
The abs don't lie.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Edward is the original brooding heartthrob,
the eternal romantic and thesparkling sensation we all
deserve.
The choice is clear.
We all deserve the choice isclear.
Vote Team Edward, becauseSparkle always wins.
I said it nice and slow so thatsomebody like a Team Jacob fan

(11:04):
will fully grasp the truth of mywords.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
All right, it's there , it's out in the open.
We've brought forth all theinformation I need to know in
the comments who is on the rightside Team Jacob and who's on
the Doom and Gloom side TeamJacob.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
No, you're Doom and Gloom, your team is awful.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
Doom and Gloom is the sad, pale, sparkly vampire
Heartthrob, handsome Heartthrob,because it's getting all the
blood sucked out of it and it iswonderful when it happens.
That's it, we're done.
This is over, we're done.
I'm leaving April Fool's.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
April Fool's April Fool's April Fool's April Fool's
April Fool's.
Happy April Fool's.
Everybody happy April Fool's.
Twilight sucks, it's the worst.
It's the worst.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
This has been bonus content with the Saints that
Serve podcast.
Tune in every Monday for a newepisode Bonus.