October 23, 2025 • 35 mins
Welcome back to The SALT Talk with Rev. Jermine Alberty. In Part I of this special Make A Difference Day 2025 edition, we celebrated the life and legacy of our beloved mentor, Rosemary Davis Kelly—a woman whose compassion, leadership, and unwavering commitment to service have shaped generations of changemakers. Her example reminds us that making a difference begins with seeing the divine potential in others and nurturing it through love and action.
In Part II, we continue that celebration by shining a light on those who are carrying that same torch forward. Joining us is Dr. Bryan Williams from Houston, Texas—an educator whose life’s work embodies the very essence of the SALT Model: Service, Affirmation, Love, and Transformation.
Together, we’ll explore how Make A Difference Day 2025 is more than a moment—it’s a movement. It’s a reminder that service transforms both the giver and the receiver, and that small acts of kindness can ripple outward to heal hearts, strengthen communities, and restore hope.
So, take a moment to breathe in the spirit of purpose, and join us as we continue this meaningful conversation with Dr. Bryan Williams on The SALT Talk.
The SALT Talk with Jermine Alberty
Service. Affirmation. Love. Transformation.
Thank you for tuning in to The SALT Talk, where we inspire transformation through honest conversations about faith, healing, and purpose.
Be sure to subscribe, rate, and share this episode with someone who needs encouragement today.
To learn more about the SALT Initiative or to book Rev. Alberty for training or speaking engagements, visit www.jerminealberty.com.
Until next time, remember:
Serve with humility, affirm with compassion, love with courage, and live a life of transformation.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello everybody, welcome back to the Stop Talk
(00:02):
with Jermaine Albertine.
In part one of this festivalMake a Different Day 2025
edition, we honor the legacy ofour beloved mentor, Rosemary
David Kelly, performing throughthe spirit of service and
unwavering confastic continue toinspire us all to lead with
humility, love, and purpose.
And now you're tuning in to parttwo, where we will continue that
(00:25):
conversation with my dearfriend, Dr.
Brian Williams from Houston,Texas, a dynamic leader,
educator, and motivator whoworks and embodies the very
essence of the SALT model.
This is Drevaine Alberty, andyou listen to the SALT Talk.
So, welcome back to segment twoof the SALT Model and Action.
(00:47):
So, Brian, as you know, one ofthe ways I try to make a
difference is through what Icall the SALT model, which is
service, affirmation, love, andtransformation.
And it's simple yet deeplytransformative.
As a framework, what it does isit challenges us to serve with
humility, recognizing that trueleadership begins with
(01:08):
compassion, and then to affirmthe worth and dignity of others
by reminding people that theyare seen and value.
For me, love is always somethingthat includes both courage and
healthy boundaries, ensuringthat our compassion does not
deplete us but sustain us topursue transformation and not
(01:30):
just in the world around us, butwithin ourselves.
And so I like to talk about howthe salt model should remind us
that healing and change startswhen we show up fully and live
authentically and allow grace toflow through our service.
And so service is the heartbeatof Make a Difference Day.
(01:51):
It's the rhythm of kindness thatmoves us to volunteer at a
shelter, lend a hand to aneighbor, or simply check in on
a friend who's struggling.
And so, just like Miss Kellysaid, that uh it's not about
being a role model but a rolemotor.
Uh, you could talk about loveall day long, but service is
(02:15):
love in motion.
It's that visual expression ofcompassion and community.
And I want to make sure one,that people kind of get an ideal
of who you are.
First of all, people just jumpinto questions.
They know you're my friend.
That's great to know.
But tell me a little bit aboutwhat you would like folks to
know about who is BrianWilliams.
SPEAKER_01 (02:37):
Uh, Brian is a um native of Kansas City, Missouri.
I currently live in Houston,Texas.
I'm the sixth of nine childrento Linda Williams.
And as I mentioned previously,um, my mom was a single parent.
I uh am an uncle.
I'm a brother, uh, I'm a son.
Uh professionally, I'm aneducator.
(02:59):
And so I've been in publiceducation for 27 years.
I've been a teacher, assistantprincipal, principal, and now I
serve as uh an assistantsuperintendent, supporting and
coaching and supervising middleand high school principals.
And so that's just a little bitabout me.
Well, I talked to you aboutprofessionally, but I'm also uh
(03:23):
uh, you know, an avid swimmer,uh avid runner.
Uh I enjoy riding my motorcycle,and uh my my passion is
kayaking.
So a little bit about me.
SPEAKER_00 (03:36):
So what's amazing is how service followed us
throughout uh our careers.
You and I worked together asyouth coordinators for the
Housing Authority of Kansas,Missouri.
Uh, and then we went on tocontinue in just to fill the
service.
And so it's like it was embeddedin us as the youth to serve and
(03:58):
never left our DNA.
And so the first question I havefor you around service is how do
you see service showing up inyour life now as that educator
and leader?
SPEAKER_01 (04:10):
Well, one of the ways it shows up as an educator
and leader is uh one of myleadership styles is servant
leadership.
And so I make it a point everyday I go to work.
Uh I think through the lens ofhow can I make a difference?
How can I be a blessing?
How can I serve the students,families, and educators that I
(04:34):
work with in a way that makestheir job a little easier, more
effective.
How can I remove obstacles andbarriers out of their way so
that they can provide a greateducation and experience for
students?
There's a a formersuperintendent who I attended,
served several of his leadershipworkshops, and um his name
(04:58):
escapes me.
I will remember it, but one ofthe things that he used to do is
carry a small spoon in hispocket.
And uh as he served assuperintendent of a particular
school district in Houston, hewould go to schools or campuses
and pull out the spoon and say,I'm here to serve.
And I remember when I firstbecame a principal, one of the
(05:21):
teachers who worked for him, hisname is Dr.
Gordon Anderson.
When I first became a principal,one of the teachers that I used
to work with who worked for himin the school district said I
reminded her of him so much thatshe wanted to gift me a silver
spoon, which I offer this day.
And she said, just remember thatas you become principal of your
(05:44):
school, never forget that you'rethere to serve because you
remind me so much of Dr.
Anderson.
So I remember my first day atthe school where students and
families came, I pulled out thespoon and introduced myself.
And I said, This spoonrepresents how I'm gonna lead
and how I'm gonna serve you.
And I'm here to serve and I'mhere to help and I'm here to
(06:06):
support.
So that's how that shows up.
SPEAKER_00 (06:08):
Wow.
Wow.
And you know, one of the thingsI think that is so important to
me is this, and that is weoften, when we uh encounter
those who serve in the military,we often say, Thank you for your
service.
And I think that that should betrue for educators.
We are to thank educators fortheir service because they give
(06:30):
so much day in, day out.
Um, and sometimes I believeeducators are some of the most
underappreciated people whoserve in our country.
Um, and finding that balance,you know, of being there for the
students and for the parents andfor the community.
Uh, one question I want to askyou is how do you balance that
(06:53):
call to serve others with theneed to take care of yourself?
You said you kayak, uh, you sayyou you run, and you well, what
else do you do and would youencourage other educators to do
to take care of themselves?
SPEAKER_01 (07:08):
I am all about uh mindfulness and balance,
work-life balance, and fillingyour cup.
Yes.
Uh, so that you can be refreshedand full to serve others.
And I partner with anotherorganization to do principal
(07:29):
leadership development.
And we often talk aboutresiliency and mindfulness and
how it's important to care foryourself.
And I remind our educators that,you know, for those who've
who've flown in an airplanebefore, uh, before the flight
takes off, flight attendantswill always make the
announcement in the event of anemergency and the cabin loses
(07:52):
pressure, and oxygen masks willdrop down.
SPEAKER_00 (07:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:56):
If you're with a small child or caring for
someone, please make sure to puton your oxygen mask first before
you try to assist somebody else.
And so I try to use that analogyor that example to remind them
that you have to take care ofself or you won't be of any good
or value to try to take care ofothers.
(08:17):
So what I try to do is um numberone, try I try to treat people
the way I want to be treated.
Uh, I respect people's time awayfrom work and on the weekend.
And so I know some people liketo send emails, some people like
to uh just create stress whenpeople are not at work, but I
respect boundaries.
(08:37):
Yeah, I like for people torespect my boundaries.
Yeah, and so I'm gonna give 100and 10% while I'm at work.
And you know, there areinstances where I do have to
work outside of work.
That's a personal choice, yeah,but I'm not gonna infringe that
upon anybody else.
So that's the first thing, justrespecting boundaries and
parameters and understandingthat when I'm at work, we're
(08:59):
gonna work, but when I'm awayfrom work, uh people are
entitled to enjoy their freetime and their family.
And then secondly, uh you know,I talked about taking care of
self and so finding joy in thosehobbies and activities that I
love doing.
I mentioned swimming and I swimevery day.
I make it an effort after Ileave work.
Yes, I go swimming, and uhthough you know me very well.
(09:23):
So sometimes you may call andI'll be back to say I was
swimming.
SPEAKER_00 (09:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:28):
And then I I wake up in the morning and run.
Uh, and then at least twice amonth, I make it a go to go on a
kayaking trip with uh a couplekayaking groups I'm a part of.
I try to have a little bit ofwind therapy by riding the
motorcycle, but I I just try todo the things that I enjoy doing
because those fill my cup, theyre-energize me, they help build
(09:52):
resilience, and they refresh me.
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
And I know folks listening may be kind of
wondering, like, oh, he'stalking about self-care and and
and so forth.
And wasn't this episodededicated to make a difference
today?
It is.
And the reason why we're havingthis conversation is because so
many times people who serveothers don't take time to take
(10:20):
care of themselves.
And so I want to remindindividuals that genuine service
also requires balance.
And if you notice your energy isfading and your patience is
thinning or your heart isgrowing numb, that may be what
is called a sign ofcompassionate fatigue.
And I want to make sure thatit's really clear that that's
not a symptom of weakness, butreally it's a signal of
(10:45):
faithfulness that needs renewal.
So even those who are called toserve, we have to pause, we have
to rest, we have to refillbecause helping hands can only
heal when they're whole.
And so I think it's so importantthat we talk about service, that
we really are uh make washingout for that compassion fatigue
(11:07):
and that we find that balance.
So you all know the salt modelservice is the S, the A is
affirmation.
And so affirmation is that actof speaking life to others and
to yourself.
And when we say, I see you andyou matter, we create a ripple
of healing because affirmationalso breaks stigma and it
(11:33):
reminds those living with mentalhealth challenges and substance
use challenges that they aredefined not by their diagnosis,
but by dignity.
And so it's really importantthat we affirm people, no matter
what their situation may be inthis life, disability, but let
them know care about them.
And uh, what role hasaffirmation played uh not only
(11:54):
in your work, but also in yourpersonal life?
SPEAKER_01 (11:58):
I just remember growing up uh the role that
affirmation played in my life.
I had lots of positive rolemodels, mentors.
You and I just talked about MissKelly and the power of um her
life and work in our lives.
But there were lots of justamazing people who spoke life
(12:20):
and blessing and um sawpotential in me, and they they
brought those things out of meuh by speaking to the potential
that I had and the the gifts andtalents that I had.
And I remember in college, uh Ihad a professor, I didn't think
I was a good writer.
Her name was Dr.
Blanche Sloslin, and I had shewas my literacy and education
(12:45):
teacher.
Um, and as an education major, Iwas an elementary education
major.
I had to take many literatureand literacy classes because I
was going to be teaching readinguh as an elementary teacher.
And I remember I wrote thispaper, didn't think I was a good
writer, but she passed the paperback and I got an A on the
paper.
And she said to me, I'll stillnever forget how she said it and
(13:07):
what she said, she said, Brian,you did an excellent job on your
paper, and you have a gift forwriting, and nobody had ever
told me that.
And so that was just an exampleof her affirming a gift that I
didn't know I had, and thatactually empowered me to write
more.
And because I earned an A onthat paper, that empowered and
(13:30):
motivated me to continue earningA's on assignments, and that
motivated me to continue earningA's uh all throughout the rest
of my college history, becauseyou know, I was I was an average
student, made above averagegrades, but I didn't really
apply myself because you know Idid enough to get by, and I
(13:52):
still made great grades, butwhen I encountered and entered
college, uh I had to I had toreally work hard.
So I had to really earn thosegrades.
SPEAKER_00 (14:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:01):
But as a recipient of people speaking life and
affirmation and blessing overme, I try to extend that to
others.
I try to extend that to studentsand parents and teachers and
leaders that I serve.
And here's the hard part of myjob as a as a principal
supervisor.
Um my job is to give feedback.
SPEAKER_00 (14:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:26):
And there is adjusting or constructive
feedback where there's somethingthat has to change, and then
there's positive feedback.
And then the nature of my roleis I have to give lots of
feedback, and sometimes thefeedback is very constructive
and critical.
(14:47):
And whenever I make thatfeedback, that's a withdrawal.
So because of the nature of myrole, I always try to look and
be intentional, intentionalabout making deposits, which are
words of affirmation, because Iknow eventually I'm gonna have
to make some withdrawals.
And the withdrawals are uh thewithdrawals are you not anything
(15:08):
that that tries to damage ordiscredit somebody, but it's
more meant to coach them up andto grow them.
Um, and that that's my role andresponsibility.
So how the affirmation plays outin the workplace, I just really
try to be intentional andunderstand that words have
power.
Yeah, they can they can eitherbuild others up or tear others
(15:32):
down.
And I I try to be careful withmy words and how I use my words,
but I also am intentional,intentional about ensuring that
I speak uh blessing, words thatthat provide healing, that
provide life, and that makedeposits into the lives of
(15:52):
people.
SPEAKER_00 (15:53):
Yeah, one of the things I know that um I truly um
clean from my mentors and thoseadults in my life, and research
tells us that you know having acaring adult in the life of a
young person can be one of thegreatest protective factors that
could alleviate uh some of thoserisk factors that they
(16:15):
encounter.
And one of the things as adultsthat we can do for young people
is just let them know thatthey're love, and so um L and
the salt model is love.
And so what we know uh is loveis more than just an emotion,
(16:35):
uh, but the love is actually anact.
And so love is compassion andemotion, and so it's not only
what you do, but how you do it,and doing it with patience and
grace and understanding is soimportant.
And then love shows up when weare able to uh step back and let
(16:56):
others step back, and love alsoknows when to pause.
And so when we care for our ownmind and soul, then we are
modeling what I would considerhealthy love for those that we
help.
Uh I'm a national trainer for aprogram called Mental Health
First Aid.
And in Mental Health First Aid,we say that self-care is not
(17:19):
selfish.
Um, and what it really truly isis stewardship.
And being men, one question thatI would be curious to hear your
answer is how do men inparticular show love without
feeling weak or vulnerable?
SPEAKER_01 (17:39):
Well, I don't profess to know the answer to
that.
I'm still learning how to showlove.
Uh I'll answer it in this way.
Growing up in a family of ninewith a single mind, my mom was
not very affectionate.
And I love you was not a phrasethat we often heard.
(18:04):
We understood we were loved, andmy mom provided for us to
demonstrate her love to us, andshe sent us to really great
schools, provided a privateeducation for us, and you know,
she did her part in fulfillingher responsibility as a mom, but
we didn't I didn't grow up in avery affectionate family.
(18:29):
So this is an area where I'mstill learning about, but as a
man, how do I show love?
Uh, number one, I you know, I Itry to I I'm a man of faith, as
you know, and so I try to put myfaith into practice.
(18:49):
And I remember a conversationthat you know an individual had
with Christ about, you know,what was the greatest
commandment?
And Jesus' response was, Lovethe Lord your God with all your
heart, soul, mind, and strength,and then love your neighbor as
yourself.
So as I think about those twocommandments, I try to live out
(19:11):
my faith by loving my creator,but then also loving my fellow
neighbor in a way where I'm I'maccepting of my neighbor.
Um I try to demonstrate acts ofkindness and grace towards my
neighbor.
As a recipient of unconditionallove, grace, and forgiveness, I
(19:34):
try to extend that unconditionallove, grace, and forgiveness.
Um I also try to show love bybeing someone who's dependable
and reliable.
If I commit to doing somethingor say I'm gonna do something, I
I do my best to try to honor myword.
(19:54):
And then I'm reading this bookcalled One Month to Live.
You actually should be readingit with me because you've yes
you purchased it.
And I'm on day I'm on day 22.
And uh in today's chapter, itreally talked about being honest
and truthful with people, yeah,and that if we really loved
(20:18):
people the way we say we do, wewould be honest with them and
not try, and the chapter dealtwith just being a person of
integrity and not lying, butjust being truthful and honest
with people and upfront.
And uh the author of that book,the authors of that book, Chris
(20:38):
and Carrie Shook, wrote thatseveral years ago, but I just
picked it up.
But it's ironic that you askedthis question about love, and
that was one of the highlightsfrom the chapter today.
I read just being truthful andhonest, and in your truthfulness
and honesty, doing that in aloving, gracious way.
Where you're trying to helpsomebody, yeah, um, and not tear
(21:00):
people down.
So I think that's how I try tolive out and allow love to
manifest itself as a man in mylife.
SPEAKER_00 (21:08):
Haven't completely figured it out, but well, yeah,
and I see I asked that questiononly because as men, you and I
do this a lot for one another.
Um, and that is one, we are ableto trust each other with our
emotions.
unknown (21:29):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (21:30):
And so I don't feel my vulnerability and sharing uh
what's going on in my life toyou as exposure, but really that
I can trust you.
Yeah.
So when a man allows someone tosee their heart, uh their fears,
their hopes, their gratitudes,then that invites uh respect and
(21:53):
even a sense of intimacy.
Uh, because vulnerability is notweakness, it's really courage.
Yep.
And so I think being able to umtruly draw on our faith, we know
that love aligns with divinestrength.
The scripture tells us that loveis patient, love is kind, love
is enduring.
(22:14):
None of those things areweaknesses.
Um, and we both believe thatbasically love reflects God's
image within us.
So I think that the way we canshare with men, hey, don't feel
weak, don't feel vulnerable, isunderstand, just embody
confidence and embody compassionto know that when we're able to
(22:36):
open up to other young men andlet them know, hey man, I've
been there.
I've been there, you know, um,and you're not alone in this.
That vulnerability uh is a wayof showing love to them to say,
we're gonna save you from havingto go through that headache if
you're willing to listen to whatwe have to share with you.
(22:57):
And that's when transformationhappens.
That final T is transformationbecause transformation happens
when service, affirmation, andlove work together.
It's when we as a community movefrom reaction to resilience.
And I think it's so importantthat we point out that
transformation isn't instant,it's intentional, and it begins
(23:20):
in each of us.
So uh I want to ask you apersonal question, and that is
how has our friendship over theyears sharpened or transformed
you?
SPEAKER_01 (23:35):
Well, when I think of that, that sharpen as iron
sharpens iron, that's a birdverse in the Bible.
So man sharpens another man, andso when I think about our
friendship, um you and I, youknow, have had a great
friendship for I'll probably sayit goes above great, but
(23:58):
phenomenal friendship for over25, probably is it 30 years?
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:05):
Oh, it's probably past 30 years.
SPEAKER_00 (24:07):
Yeah, so I'll just say more than 30.
SPEAKER_01 (24:08):
Yeah, 30 plus years.
And um we've been able to sparwith one another.
We don't always agree.
SPEAKER_00 (24:17):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (24:18):
We don't um, you know, sometimes we talk several
times a week, sometimes weekspass, yeah.
Uh, but we're able to to pick upwhere we left off.
Um there are times where I'm inneed and you're able to help
out, or you're in need and I'mable to help help out.
Yeah, um we don't we don't judgeone another.
(24:42):
You talked about sharingemotions, you know, we're able
to share emotions and our heartswith one another.
And um in the book I I justmentioned about you know, one
month to live, um the authorsaid, You know who your friends
are when you are going through adifficult time, such as the
(25:05):
death of a loved one or anillness or sickness, and then
you look around and see who isnear who's near you, who's
standing by.
Yeah, that's a sign of your truefriends in those those dark
moments, and you've been thereuh through some dark moments uh
in my life, and so you know Ithink I we we try to reciprocate
(25:28):
the friendship, yeah.
And um you probably do it moreoften than I do.
You you definitely reach out andmake a lot a lot more deposits,
and uh I appreciate that thatmotivates me to try to to step
up and and do it even more.
So I think uh to to if I can ifI can sum up the transformation
(25:55):
of the friendship, I think youand I have developed
accountability to one another,where you can call me out on
some things and I can call youout on some things, and we can
hold each other accountable, andwe have maintained that 30 plus
friendship uh for I meanforever, and we have not allowed
(26:20):
anything to get in the way ofthat friendship or to hinder it,
not distance.
You live in Vegas, I live inHouston.
Yeah, um when I moved toHouston, you had moved away to
uh St.
Louis and then Columbia.
So distance hasn't been anythingthat has taken away from our our
(26:40):
friendship.
Um, you know, life circumstanceshasn't been an impediment to our
friendship.
I don't think we've let anythingget in the way of our
friendship.
SPEAKER_00 (26:51):
So my friends, as my friends, we go into segment
three of this podcast, is reallyum dedicated to caring for self
and uh cultivating connection.
And I'm so happy that we becamefriends so many years ago, 30
plus years.
We've helped each other alongthe way, as you said.
We shared things that the onlytwo of us uh ever will know.
(27:14):
And we've been helpers to oneanother, as you said.
And you know, I think it's soimportant to talk about the
human side of helping and theinner life of the helper,
because service connects us, butresearch shows we thrive not
just on access service, but onrelationships that sustain us.
And uh, there's no perfectnumber of friends in social
(27:36):
science research reminds us thatthe layers of friendship play a
critical role in our mentalhealth.
And uh, and so evolutionarypsychologist Robin Dunbar
proposed what's known as theDunbar number.
And the ideal is that humans canmaintain about 150 stable
relationships, and inside thatcircle are smaller rings.
(27:57):
So five people uh basically areyour support click, those are
the intimate ties who receiveabout 40% of your emotional
energy, and I would say you areone of my five people for sure,
and then 15 people are your goodfriends and those who you can
count on a crisis.
I don't think I have 15 people Ican count on a crisis.
I think 50 people are yourgeneral friends, which are have
(28:23):
meaningful but lighter ties, andthen uh uh uh Dunbar says that
150 people is that broadercommunity of people that you
know well enough to greet andengage authentically, and so you
know, on social media, ofcourse, this has expanded.
People have you know, thousandsof people who you know become
(28:44):
friends on on Facebook somemore, so forth.
But research tells us a fewresearch studies said that most
US adults have one to four closefriends, and having just three
to five close friends stronglycorrelates with better mental
health and less loneliness.
And so uh I think it's soimportant that as we talk about
(29:06):
make a difference day, that wereally point out the importance
of connection because sometimespeople are just doers and don't
take care of themselves.
And so when we are serving andbuilding community, we need to
check in on each other, and wedo that often.
Uh, as you said, sometimes it'dbe a few weeks where we check
back in, but healthy friendshipsprotect us from isolation, they
(29:27):
it sustain our resilience and itreduces compassion fatigue.
So I just think it's soimportant that we have those
core relationships that we canuse to recharge our emotional
battery.
And I'm grateful that you'repart of that inner circle.
And so as we wrap up, um, Ireally want to make sure that I
(29:48):
just do things that I want toencourage people to do, and that
is one set those healthyboundaries so it's okay to say
no.
So your yes stays meaningful.
We want to rest on.
On purpose, which means weschedule recovery as
intentionally as service.
Uh, we want to stay connected,so find community with other
helpers that support, keep usgrounded.
(30:10):
And then lastly, we want toreflect and we want to release
and take five minutes after aday of service to pray, to
journal, uh, or to breathe.
So, my friend, I have one finalquestion I want to ask you
because I know in the filmeducation uh administrators and
teachers and other staffmembers, burnout is really
(30:31):
something that can happen a lot.
And um, also not only burnout,but then experiencing secondary
trauma.
And so, compassion fatigue isboth when one experiences both
burnout and secondary trauma.
And what happens is it impactstheir compassion toward the work
they do.
(30:51):
So, what advice would you giveto leaders, to students, uh
teachers who are at that pointwhere they're just kind of burnt
out?
And what kind what kind ofadvice would you give that
person?
SPEAKER_01 (31:03):
Well, when I when I think about that, um a couple
things come to mind.
Number one, I think the ability,and you mentioned this to press
pause.
And I think it's okay to presspause and get away for you know
a period of time where you canbe refreshed and renewed and
(31:23):
restored in whatever form thatis for you.
For me, um we mentionedswimming, my my water therapy,
the wind therapy, riding mymotorcycle, jogging, um, finding
something that I enjoy doingthat allows me to fill my cup
and the ability to press pauseto do that.
(31:45):
Secondly, sometimes um thinkingabout you know, I know this this
segment is all about or thetheme of of today's podcast is
about service.
Sometimes just looking for waysand opportunities to be a
blessing or to meet the need ofsomebody else.
(32:06):
And as you're meeting that needof somebody else, it will remind
you of how blessed uh you trulyare and how blessed I'm truly
am.
And um hopefully that wouldrekindle and develop a spirit of
gratitude that we do have a lotto be grateful for.
SPEAKER_00 (32:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (32:24):
And sometimes we consume ourselves with what we
don't have, or we makecomparisons uh with others um in
regards to what they have thatwe don't, but really just being
grateful for what we do have.
And I think I I I guess thatwould be my my advice.
Look for ways to expressgratitude for what you do have,
(32:46):
and then finding a way to meetthe need of somebody else,
because then it will remind youof you know all the blessings
and all the things that you havethat others may not have.
So that those would be my twopieces of pieces of advice.
SPEAKER_00 (33:02):
Man, thanks for sharing that.
And I want to encourageeverybody just to learn how to
breathe.
You know, inhale deeplysometimes, and then learn how to
just exhale, you know.
So just inhale and exhale, andand then say to yourself this
when you feel yourself at thatpoint where you just want to
throw in the towel.
(33:23):
I can serve with compassionwithout losing myself in the
process.
I can serve with compassionwithout losing myself in the
process.
Because you can't be thedifference for others if you're
disconnected from yourself.
So as we close, I reminded ofthat teenage boy in the Opticon
(33:44):
Club, the one who just wanted tohelp people, and how those small
acts of service shaped alifetime of purpose.
And 30 years later, two grownmen, uh, that spirit continues
to grow, not just in me, but inthose who stood uh beside me.
And so my brother, uh Dr.
(34:05):
Brian Williams, is a livingreminder that iron truly
sharpens iron and that realbrotherhood is something that
you can uh obtain and maintain.
Uh, and so uh our brotherhood isa ministry all of its own.
And so I would like to justoffer a final word uh that uh
(34:29):
with regards to make adifference day, and that is I
want to invite you to be sought.
What does that mean?
I want to invite you to servefor the military, I want to
invite you to affirm others andyourself.
I want you to love deeply butwisely, and I want to transform
your community to consistencyand care.
And before I wrap up, uh Brian,you want to say one last thing
(34:52):
that could maybe inspire others?
SPEAKER_01 (34:55):
I'm gonna say two last things, and I'm glad you
give this opportunity.
Go for it.
Yes, because you're seeing theservice, two of my favorite
quotes, one from Dr.
Martin Luther King Jr., where hestates everybody can be great
because everybody can serve.
Yes.
And then Marion Wright Eldermanwas often quoted with saying,
(35:16):
service is the rent that we payfor living on earth.
SPEAKER_00 (35:19):
My goodness.
My goodness.
Well, listen, as you go,remember, helping hands must
also be healing.
If you start to feel worried,pause, and we feel because
capacity fatigue isn't a sign toquit, it's an invitation to rest
and renew.
I'm Jermaine Alberty, and thishas been the Thought Talk, where
we season life with service,affirmation, love, and
(35:41):
transformation.
Until next time, keep making adifference and keep being a
difference.
Hello everybody, welcome back to the Stop Talk
(00:02):
with Jermaine Albertine.
In part one of this festivalMake a Different Day 2025
edition, we honor the legacy ofour beloved mentor, Rosemary
David Kelly, performing throughthe spirit of service and
unwavering confastic continue toinspire us all to lead with
humility, love, and purpose.
And now you're tuning in to parttwo, where we will continue that
(00:25):
conversation with my dearfriend, Dr.
Brian Williams from Houston,Texas, a dynamic leader,
educator, and motivator whoworks and embodies the very
essence of the SALT model.
This is Drevaine Alberty, andyou listen to the SALT Talk.
So, welcome back to segment twoof the SALT Model and Action.
(00:47):
So, Brian, as you know, one ofthe ways I try to make a
difference is through what Icall the SALT model, which is
service, affirmation, love, andtransformation.
And it's simple yet deeplytransformative.
As a framework, what it does isit challenges us to serve with
humility, recognizing that trueleadership begins with
(01:08):
compassion, and then to affirmthe worth and dignity of others
by reminding people that theyare seen and value.
For me, love is always somethingthat includes both courage and
healthy boundaries, ensuringthat our compassion does not
deplete us but sustain us topursue transformation and not
(01:30):
just in the world around us, butwithin ourselves.
And so I like to talk about howthe salt model should remind us
that healing and change startswhen we show up fully and live
authentically and allow grace toflow through our service.
And so service is the heartbeatof Make a Difference Day.
(01:51):
It's the rhythm of kindness thatmoves us to volunteer at a
shelter, lend a hand to aneighbor, or simply check in on
a friend who's struggling.
And so, just like Miss Kellysaid, that uh it's not about
being a role model but a rolemotor.
Uh, you could talk about loveall day long, but service is
(02:15):
love in motion.
It's that visual expression ofcompassion and community.
And I want to make sure one,that people kind of get an ideal
of who you are.
First of all, people just jumpinto questions.
They know you're my friend.
That's great to know.
But tell me a little bit aboutwhat you would like folks to
know about who is BrianWilliams.
SPEAKER_01 (02:37):
Uh, Brian is a um native of Kansas City, Missouri.
I currently live in Houston,Texas.
I'm the sixth of nine childrento Linda Williams.
And as I mentioned previously,um, my mom was a single parent.
I uh am an uncle.
I'm a brother, uh, I'm a son.
Uh professionally, I'm aneducator.
(02:59):
And so I've been in publiceducation for 27 years.
I've been a teacher, assistantprincipal, principal, and now I
serve as uh an assistantsuperintendent, supporting and
coaching and supervising middleand high school principals.
And so that's just a little bitabout me.
Well, I talked to you aboutprofessionally, but I'm also uh
(03:23):
uh, you know, an avid swimmer,uh avid runner.
Uh I enjoy riding my motorcycle,and uh my my passion is
kayaking.
So a little bit about me.
SPEAKER_00 (03:36):
So what's amazing is how service followed us
throughout uh our careers.
You and I worked together asyouth coordinators for the
Housing Authority of Kansas,Missouri.
Uh, and then we went on tocontinue in just to fill the
service.
And so it's like it was embeddedin us as the youth to serve and
(03:58):
never left our DNA.
And so the first question I havefor you around service is how do
you see service showing up inyour life now as that educator
and leader?
SPEAKER_01 (04:10):
Well, one of the ways it shows up as an educator
and leader is uh one of myleadership styles is servant
leadership.
And so I make it a point everyday I go to work.
Uh I think through the lens ofhow can I make a difference?
How can I be a blessing?
How can I serve the students,families, and educators that I
(04:34):
work with in a way that makestheir job a little easier, more
effective.
How can I remove obstacles andbarriers out of their way so
that they can provide a greateducation and experience for
students?
There's a a formersuperintendent who I attended,
served several of his leadershipworkshops, and um his name
(04:58):
escapes me.
I will remember it, but one ofthe things that he used to do is
carry a small spoon in hispocket.
And uh as he served assuperintendent of a particular
school district in Houston, hewould go to schools or campuses
and pull out the spoon and say,I'm here to serve.
And I remember when I firstbecame a principal, one of the
(05:21):
teachers who worked for him, hisname is Dr.
Gordon Anderson.
When I first became a principal,one of the teachers that I used
to work with who worked for himin the school district said I
reminded her of him so much thatshe wanted to gift me a silver
spoon, which I offer this day.
And she said, just remember thatas you become principal of your
(05:44):
school, never forget that you'rethere to serve because you
remind me so much of Dr.
Anderson.
So I remember my first day atthe school where students and
families came, I pulled out thespoon and introduced myself.
And I said, This spoonrepresents how I'm gonna lead
and how I'm gonna serve you.
And I'm here to serve and I'mhere to help and I'm here to
(06:06):
support.
So that's how that shows up.
SPEAKER_00 (06:08):
Wow.
Wow.
And you know, one of the thingsI think that is so important to
me is this, and that is weoften, when we uh encounter
those who serve in the military,we often say, Thank you for your
service.
And I think that that should betrue for educators.
We are to thank educators fortheir service because they give
(06:30):
so much day in, day out.
Um, and sometimes I believeeducators are some of the most
underappreciated people whoserve in our country.
Um, and finding that balance,you know, of being there for the
students and for the parents andfor the community.
Uh, one question I want to askyou is how do you balance that
(06:53):
call to serve others with theneed to take care of yourself?
You said you kayak, uh, you sayyou you run, and you well, what
else do you do and would youencourage other educators to do
to take care of themselves?
SPEAKER_01 (07:08):
I am all about uh mindfulness and balance,
work-life balance, and fillingyour cup.
Yes.
Uh, so that you can be refreshedand full to serve others.
And I partner with anotherorganization to do principal
(07:29):
leadership development.
And we often talk aboutresiliency and mindfulness and
how it's important to care foryourself.
And I remind our educators that,you know, for those who've
who've flown in an airplanebefore, uh, before the flight
takes off, flight attendantswill always make the
announcement in the event of anemergency and the cabin loses
(07:52):
pressure, and oxygen masks willdrop down.
SPEAKER_00 (07:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:56):
If you're with a small child or caring for
someone, please make sure to puton your oxygen mask first before
you try to assist somebody else.
And so I try to use that analogyor that example to remind them
that you have to take care ofself or you won't be of any good
or value to try to take care ofothers.
(08:17):
So what I try to do is um numberone, try I try to treat people
the way I want to be treated.
Uh, I respect people's time awayfrom work and on the weekend.
And so I know some people liketo send emails, some people like
to uh just create stress whenpeople are not at work, but I
respect boundaries.
(08:37):
Yeah, I like for people torespect my boundaries.
Yeah, and so I'm gonna give 100and 10% while I'm at work.
And you know, there areinstances where I do have to
work outside of work.
That's a personal choice, yeah,but I'm not gonna infringe that
upon anybody else.
So that's the first thing, justrespecting boundaries and
parameters and understandingthat when I'm at work, we're
(08:59):
gonna work, but when I'm awayfrom work, uh people are
entitled to enjoy their freetime and their family.
And then secondly, uh you know,I talked about taking care of
self and so finding joy in thosehobbies and activities that I
love doing.
I mentioned swimming and I swimevery day.
I make it an effort after Ileave work.
Yes, I go swimming, and uhthough you know me very well.
(09:23):
So sometimes you may call andI'll be back to say I was
swimming.
SPEAKER_00 (09:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (09:28):
And then I I wake up in the morning and run.
Uh, and then at least twice amonth, I make it a go to go on a
kayaking trip with uh a couplekayaking groups I'm a part of.
I try to have a little bit ofwind therapy by riding the
motorcycle, but I I just try todo the things that I enjoy doing
because those fill my cup, theyre-energize me, they help build
(09:52):
resilience, and they refresh me.
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
And I know folks listening may be kind of
wondering, like, oh, he'stalking about self-care and and
and so forth.
And wasn't this episodededicated to make a difference
today?
It is.
And the reason why we're havingthis conversation is because so
many times people who serveothers don't take time to take
(10:20):
care of themselves.
And so I want to remindindividuals that genuine service
also requires balance.
And if you notice your energy isfading and your patience is
thinning or your heart isgrowing numb, that may be what
is called a sign ofcompassionate fatigue.
And I want to make sure thatit's really clear that that's
not a symptom of weakness, butreally it's a signal of
(10:45):
faithfulness that needs renewal.
So even those who are called toserve, we have to pause, we have
to rest, we have to refillbecause helping hands can only
heal when they're whole.
And so I think it's so importantthat we talk about service, that
we really are uh make washingout for that compassion fatigue
(11:07):
and that we find that balance.
So you all know the salt modelservice is the S, the A is
affirmation.
And so affirmation is that actof speaking life to others and
to yourself.
And when we say, I see you andyou matter, we create a ripple
of healing because affirmationalso breaks stigma and it
(11:33):
reminds those living with mentalhealth challenges and substance
use challenges that they aredefined not by their diagnosis,
but by dignity.
And so it's really importantthat we affirm people, no matter
what their situation may be inthis life, disability, but let
them know care about them.
And uh, what role hasaffirmation played uh not only
(11:54):
in your work, but also in yourpersonal life?
SPEAKER_01 (11:58):
I just remember growing up uh the role that
affirmation played in my life.
I had lots of positive rolemodels, mentors.
You and I just talked about MissKelly and the power of um her
life and work in our lives.
But there were lots of justamazing people who spoke life
(12:20):
and blessing and um sawpotential in me, and they they
brought those things out of meuh by speaking to the potential
that I had and the the gifts andtalents that I had.
And I remember in college, uh Ihad a professor, I didn't think
I was a good writer.
Her name was Dr.
Blanche Sloslin, and I had shewas my literacy and education
(12:45):
teacher.
Um, and as an education major, Iwas an elementary education
major.
I had to take many literatureand literacy classes because I
was going to be teaching readinguh as an elementary teacher.
And I remember I wrote thispaper, didn't think I was a good
writer, but she passed the paperback and I got an A on the
paper.
And she said to me, I'll stillnever forget how she said it and
(13:07):
what she said, she said, Brian,you did an excellent job on your
paper, and you have a gift forwriting, and nobody had ever
told me that.
And so that was just an exampleof her affirming a gift that I
didn't know I had, and thatactually empowered me to write
more.
And because I earned an A onthat paper, that empowered and
(13:30):
motivated me to continue earningA's on assignments, and that
motivated me to continue earningA's uh all throughout the rest
of my college history, becauseyou know, I was I was an average
student, made above averagegrades, but I didn't really
apply myself because you know Idid enough to get by, and I
(13:52):
still made great grades, butwhen I encountered and entered
college, uh I had to I had toreally work hard.
So I had to really earn thosegrades.
SPEAKER_00 (14:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:01):
But as a recipient of people speaking life and
affirmation and blessing overme, I try to extend that to
others.
I try to extend that to studentsand parents and teachers and
leaders that I serve.
And here's the hard part of myjob as a as a principal
supervisor.
Um my job is to give feedback.
SPEAKER_00 (14:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:26):
And there is adjusting or constructive
feedback where there's somethingthat has to change, and then
there's positive feedback.
And then the nature of my roleis I have to give lots of
feedback, and sometimes thefeedback is very constructive
and critical.
(14:47):
And whenever I make thatfeedback, that's a withdrawal.
So because of the nature of myrole, I always try to look and
be intentional, intentionalabout making deposits, which are
words of affirmation, because Iknow eventually I'm gonna have
to make some withdrawals.
And the withdrawals are uh thewithdrawals are you not anything
(15:08):
that that tries to damage ordiscredit somebody, but it's
more meant to coach them up andto grow them.
Um, and that that's my role andresponsibility.
So how the affirmation plays outin the workplace, I just really
try to be intentional andunderstand that words have
power.
Yeah, they can they can eitherbuild others up or tear others
(15:32):
down.
And I I try to be careful withmy words and how I use my words,
but I also am intentional,intentional about ensuring that
I speak uh blessing, words thatthat provide healing, that
provide life, and that makedeposits into the lives of
(15:52):
people.
SPEAKER_00 (15:53):
Yeah, one of the things I know that um I truly um
clean from my mentors and thoseadults in my life, and research
tells us that you know having acaring adult in the life of a
young person can be one of thegreatest protective factors that
could alleviate uh some of thoserisk factors that they
(16:15):
encounter.
And one of the things as adultsthat we can do for young people
is just let them know thatthey're love, and so um L and
the salt model is love.
And so what we know uh is loveis more than just an emotion,
(16:35):
uh, but the love is actually anact.
And so love is compassion andemotion, and so it's not only
what you do, but how you do it,and doing it with patience and
grace and understanding is soimportant.
And then love shows up when weare able to uh step back and let
(16:56):
others step back, and love alsoknows when to pause.
And so when we care for our ownmind and soul, then we are
modeling what I would considerhealthy love for those that we
help.
Uh I'm a national trainer for aprogram called Mental Health
First Aid.
And in Mental Health First Aid,we say that self-care is not
(17:19):
selfish.
Um, and what it really truly isis stewardship.
And being men, one question thatI would be curious to hear your
answer is how do men inparticular show love without
feeling weak or vulnerable?
SPEAKER_01 (17:39):
Well, I don't profess to know the answer to
that.
I'm still learning how to showlove.
Uh I'll answer it in this way.
Growing up in a family of ninewith a single mind, my mom was
not very affectionate.
And I love you was not a phrasethat we often heard.
(18:04):
We understood we were loved, andmy mom provided for us to
demonstrate her love to us, andshe sent us to really great
schools, provided a privateeducation for us, and you know,
she did her part in fulfillingher responsibility as a mom, but
we didn't I didn't grow up in avery affectionate family.
(18:29):
So this is an area where I'mstill learning about, but as a
man, how do I show love?
Uh, number one, I you know, I Itry to I I'm a man of faith, as
you know, and so I try to put myfaith into practice.
(18:49):
And I remember a conversationthat you know an individual had
with Christ about, you know,what was the greatest
commandment?
And Jesus' response was, Lovethe Lord your God with all your
heart, soul, mind, and strength,and then love your neighbor as
yourself.
So as I think about those twocommandments, I try to live out
(19:11):
my faith by loving my creator,but then also loving my fellow
neighbor in a way where I'm I'maccepting of my neighbor.
Um I try to demonstrate acts ofkindness and grace towards my
neighbor.
As a recipient of unconditionallove, grace, and forgiveness, I
(19:34):
try to extend that unconditionallove, grace, and forgiveness.
Um I also try to show love bybeing someone who's dependable
and reliable.
If I commit to doing somethingor say I'm gonna do something, I
I do my best to try to honor myword.
(19:54):
And then I'm reading this bookcalled One Month to Live.
You actually should be readingit with me because you've yes
you purchased it.
And I'm on day I'm on day 22.
And uh in today's chapter, itreally talked about being honest
and truthful with people, yeah,and that if we really loved
(20:18):
people the way we say we do, wewould be honest with them and
not try, and the chapter dealtwith just being a person of
integrity and not lying, butjust being truthful and honest
with people and upfront.
And uh the author of that book,the authors of that book, Chris
(20:38):
and Carrie Shook, wrote thatseveral years ago, but I just
picked it up.
But it's ironic that you askedthis question about love, and
that was one of the highlightsfrom the chapter today.
I read just being truthful andhonest, and in your truthfulness
and honesty, doing that in aloving, gracious way.
Where you're trying to helpsomebody, yeah, um, and not tear
(21:00):
people down.
So I think that's how I try tolive out and allow love to
manifest itself as a man in mylife.
SPEAKER_00 (21:08):
Haven't completely figured it out, but well, yeah,
and I see I asked that questiononly because as men, you and I
do this a lot for one another.
Um, and that is one, we are ableto trust each other with our
emotions.
unknown (21:29):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (21:30):
And so I don't feel my vulnerability and sharing uh
what's going on in my life toyou as exposure, but really that
I can trust you.
Yeah.
So when a man allows someone tosee their heart, uh their fears,
their hopes, their gratitudes,then that invites uh respect and
(21:53):
even a sense of intimacy.
Uh, because vulnerability is notweakness, it's really courage.
Yep.
And so I think being able to umtruly draw on our faith, we know
that love aligns with divinestrength.
The scripture tells us that loveis patient, love is kind, love
is enduring.
(22:14):
None of those things areweaknesses.
Um, and we both believe thatbasically love reflects God's
image within us.
So I think that the way we canshare with men, hey, don't feel
weak, don't feel vulnerable, isunderstand, just embody
confidence and embody compassionto know that when we're able to
(22:36):
open up to other young men andlet them know, hey man, I've
been there.
I've been there, you know, um,and you're not alone in this.
That vulnerability uh is a wayof showing love to them to say,
we're gonna save you from havingto go through that headache if
you're willing to listen to whatwe have to share with you.
(22:57):
And that's when transformationhappens.
That final T is transformationbecause transformation happens
when service, affirmation, andlove work together.
It's when we as a community movefrom reaction to resilience.
And I think it's so importantthat we point out that
transformation isn't instant,it's intentional, and it begins
(23:20):
in each of us.
So uh I want to ask you apersonal question, and that is
how has our friendship over theyears sharpened or transformed
you?
SPEAKER_01 (23:35):
Well, when I think of that, that sharpen as iron
sharpens iron, that's a birdverse in the Bible.
So man sharpens another man, andso when I think about our
friendship, um you and I, youknow, have had a great
friendship for I'll probably sayit goes above great, but
(23:58):
phenomenal friendship for over25, probably is it 30 years?
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (24:05):
Oh, it's probably past 30 years.
SPEAKER_00 (24:07):
Yeah, so I'll just say more than 30.
SPEAKER_01 (24:08):
Yeah, 30 plus years.
And um we've been able to sparwith one another.
We don't always agree.
SPEAKER_00 (24:17):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (24:18):
We don't um, you know, sometimes we talk several
times a week, sometimes weekspass, yeah.
Uh, but we're able to to pick upwhere we left off.
Um there are times where I'm inneed and you're able to help
out, or you're in need and I'mable to help help out.
Yeah, um we don't we don't judgeone another.
(24:42):
You talked about sharingemotions, you know, we're able
to share emotions and our heartswith one another.
And um in the book I I justmentioned about you know, one
month to live, um the authorsaid, You know who your friends
are when you are going through adifficult time, such as the
(25:05):
death of a loved one or anillness or sickness, and then
you look around and see who isnear who's near you, who's
standing by.
Yeah, that's a sign of your truefriends in those those dark
moments, and you've been thereuh through some dark moments uh
in my life, and so you know Ithink I we we try to reciprocate
(25:28):
the friendship, yeah.
And um you probably do it moreoften than I do.
You you definitely reach out andmake a lot a lot more deposits,
and uh I appreciate that thatmotivates me to try to to step
up and and do it even more.
So I think uh to to if I can ifI can sum up the transformation
(25:55):
of the friendship, I think youand I have developed
accountability to one another,where you can call me out on
some things and I can call youout on some things, and we can
hold each other accountable, andwe have maintained that 30 plus
friendship uh for I meanforever, and we have not allowed
(26:20):
anything to get in the way ofthat friendship or to hinder it,
not distance.
You live in Vegas, I live inHouston.
Yeah, um when I moved toHouston, you had moved away to
uh St.
Louis and then Columbia.
So distance hasn't been anythingthat has taken away from our our
(26:40):
friendship.
Um, you know, life circumstanceshasn't been an impediment to our
friendship.
I don't think we've let anythingget in the way of our
friendship.
SPEAKER_00 (26:51):
So my friends, as my friends, we go into segment
three of this podcast, is reallyum dedicated to caring for self
and uh cultivating connection.
And I'm so happy that we becamefriends so many years ago, 30
plus years.
We've helped each other alongthe way, as you said.
We shared things that the onlytwo of us uh ever will know.
(27:14):
And we've been helpers to oneanother, as you said.
And you know, I think it's soimportant to talk about the
human side of helping and theinner life of the helper,
because service connects us, butresearch shows we thrive not
just on access service, but onrelationships that sustain us.
And uh, there's no perfectnumber of friends in social
(27:36):
science research reminds us thatthe layers of friendship play a
critical role in our mentalhealth.
And uh, and so evolutionarypsychologist Robin Dunbar
proposed what's known as theDunbar number.
And the ideal is that humans canmaintain about 150 stable
relationships, and inside thatcircle are smaller rings.
(27:57):
So five people uh basically areyour support click, those are
the intimate ties who receiveabout 40% of your emotional
energy, and I would say you areone of my five people for sure,
and then 15 people are your goodfriends and those who you can
count on a crisis.
I don't think I have 15 people Ican count on a crisis.
I think 50 people are yourgeneral friends, which are have
(28:23):
meaningful but lighter ties, andthen uh uh uh Dunbar says that
150 people is that broadercommunity of people that you
know well enough to greet andengage authentically, and so you
know, on social media, ofcourse, this has expanded.
People have you know, thousandsof people who you know become
(28:44):
friends on on Facebook somemore, so forth.
But research tells us a fewresearch studies said that most
US adults have one to four closefriends, and having just three
to five close friends stronglycorrelates with better mental
health and less loneliness.
And so uh I think it's soimportant that as we talk about
(29:06):
make a difference day, that wereally point out the importance
of connection because sometimespeople are just doers and don't
take care of themselves.
And so when we are serving andbuilding community, we need to
check in on each other, and wedo that often.
Uh, as you said, sometimes it'dbe a few weeks where we check
back in, but healthy friendshipsprotect us from isolation, they
(29:27):
it sustain our resilience and itreduces compassion fatigue.
So I just think it's soimportant that we have those
core relationships that we canuse to recharge our emotional
battery.
And I'm grateful that you'repart of that inner circle.
And so as we wrap up, um, Ireally want to make sure that I
(29:48):
just do things that I want toencourage people to do, and that
is one set those healthyboundaries so it's okay to say
no.
So your yes stays meaningful.
We want to rest on.
On purpose, which means weschedule recovery as
intentionally as service.
Uh, we want to stay connected,so find community with other
helpers that support, keep usgrounded.
(30:10):
And then lastly, we want toreflect and we want to release
and take five minutes after aday of service to pray, to
journal, uh, or to breathe.
So, my friend, I have one finalquestion I want to ask you
because I know in the filmeducation uh administrators and
teachers and other staffmembers, burnout is really
(30:31):
something that can happen a lot.
And um, also not only burnout,but then experiencing secondary
trauma.
And so, compassion fatigue isboth when one experiences both
burnout and secondary trauma.
And what happens is it impactstheir compassion toward the work
they do.
(30:51):
So, what advice would you giveto leaders, to students, uh
teachers who are at that pointwhere they're just kind of burnt
out?
And what kind what kind ofadvice would you give that
person?
SPEAKER_01 (31:03):
Well, when I when I think about that, um a couple
things come to mind.
Number one, I think the ability,and you mentioned this to press
pause.
And I think it's okay to presspause and get away for you know
a period of time where you canbe refreshed and renewed and
(31:23):
restored in whatever form thatis for you.
For me, um we mentionedswimming, my my water therapy,
the wind therapy, riding mymotorcycle, jogging, um, finding
something that I enjoy doingthat allows me to fill my cup
and the ability to press pauseto do that.
(31:45):
Secondly, sometimes um thinkingabout you know, I know this this
segment is all about or thetheme of of today's podcast is
about service.
Sometimes just looking for waysand opportunities to be a
blessing or to meet the need ofsomebody else.
(32:06):
And as you're meeting that needof somebody else, it will remind
you of how blessed uh you trulyare and how blessed I'm truly
am.
And um hopefully that wouldrekindle and develop a spirit of
gratitude that we do have a lotto be grateful for.
SPEAKER_00 (32:23):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (32:24):
And sometimes we consume ourselves with what we
don't have, or we makecomparisons uh with others um in
regards to what they have thatwe don't, but really just being
grateful for what we do have.
And I think I I I guess thatwould be my my advice.
Look for ways to expressgratitude for what you do have,
(32:46):
and then finding a way to meetthe need of somebody else,
because then it will remind youof you know all the blessings
and all the things that you havethat others may not have.
So that those would be my twopieces of pieces of advice.
SPEAKER_00 (33:02):
Man, thanks for sharing that.
And I want to encourageeverybody just to learn how to
breathe.
You know, inhale deeplysometimes, and then learn how to
just exhale, you know.
So just inhale and exhale, andand then say to yourself this
when you feel yourself at thatpoint where you just want to
throw in the towel.
(33:23):
I can serve with compassionwithout losing myself in the
process.
I can serve with compassionwithout losing myself in the
process.
Because you can't be thedifference for others if you're
disconnected from yourself.
So as we close, I reminded ofthat teenage boy in the Opticon
(33:44):
Club, the one who just wanted tohelp people, and how those small
acts of service shaped alifetime of purpose.
And 30 years later, two grownmen, uh, that spirit continues
to grow, not just in me, but inthose who stood uh beside me.
And so my brother, uh Dr.
(34:05):
Brian Williams, is a livingreminder that iron truly
sharpens iron and that realbrotherhood is something that
you can uh obtain and maintain.
Uh, and so uh our brotherhood isa ministry all of its own.
And so I would like to justoffer a final word uh that uh
(34:29):
with regards to make adifference day, and that is I
want to invite you to be sought.
What does that mean?
I want to invite you to servefor the military, I want to
invite you to affirm others andyourself.
I want you to love deeply butwisely, and I want to transform
your community to consistencyand care.
And before I wrap up, uh Brian,you want to say one last thing
(34:52):
that could maybe inspire others?
SPEAKER_01 (34:55):
I'm gonna say two last things, and I'm glad you
give this opportunity.
Go for it.
Yes, because you're seeing theservice, two of my favorite
quotes, one from Dr.
Martin Luther King Jr., where hestates everybody can be great
because everybody can serve.
Yes.
And then Marion Wright Eldermanwas often quoted with saying,
(35:16):
service is the rent that we payfor living on earth.
SPEAKER_00 (35:19):
My goodness.
My goodness.
Well, listen, as you go,remember, helping hands must
also be healing.
If you start to feel worried,pause, and we feel because
capacity fatigue isn't a sign toquit, it's an invitation to rest
and renew.
I'm Jermaine Alberty, and thishas been the Thought Talk, where
we season life with service,affirmation, love, and
(35:41):
transformation.
Until next time, keep making adifference and keep being a
difference.
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