August 19, 2025 • 13 mins
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Have you ever said “yes” to a business opportunity when your gut screamed “no”? In this episode, I share real-life stories of ignoring those instincts, from messy collaborations to draining clients, and reveal the costly lessons I’ve learned about protecting your “yes.” We dive into why we override our gut (hello, FOMO and people-pleasing), red flags to watch for, and simple, practical ways to set boundaries and say no without burning bridges.
01:20 - Why we say yes when our gut says no
02:52 - Red flags that I’ve experienced with collaborations and clients
06:33 - How to say no gracefully while keeping relationships intact
07:52 - Practical boundary-setting tips that will help you trust your gut in business
Links & Resources:
- The Savvy Seller Collective
- Episode 128, Success Your Way: A Different Approach to 2025 Planning
- Follow me on Instagram @kristendoyle.co
- Check out my Everything Page: a one-stop shop for savvy selling!
- Join my private Facebook community: Savvy Teacher Sellers
- More resources for growing your TPT business
- Rate & review The Savvy Teacher Seller on Apple Podcasts
Show Notes: https://kristendoyle.co/episode161
Feeling overwhelmed by all the things you think you need to do to grow your digital product business? Take the Savvy Seller Quiz and find out exactly what to focus on right now to actually move your business forward.
➡️ Take the quiz at savvyquiz.com
Check out my Everything Page at https://kristendoyle.co/everything
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kristen (00:01):
You ever say yes to something, maybe it was a
collaboration or a summit, or aclient, even though your gut was
already saying, No, don't do it?
Yeah, I've done it more thanonce, and I'm sure you have too.
And here's the thing, I havelearned, that it never ends
well. So today, I am sharingsome real life examples of when
(00:21):
I ignored my gut instincts inbusiness, why we do this to
ourselves, and most importantly,how to stop saying yes when deep
down, you know your gut istelling you no. Because let me
tell you, protecting your yesesis one of the most important
things that you can do for yourbusiness.
(00:45):
Are you a digital product orcourse creator, selling on
platforms like Teachers PayTeachers, Etsy, or your own
website? Ready to grow yourbusiness, but not into the kind
of constant hustle that leadsstraight to burnout? Then you're
in the right place. Welcome toThe Savvy Seller. I'm Kristen
Doyle, and I'm here to give youno-fluff tools and strategies
(01:08):
that move the needle for yourbusiness without burning you out
in the process—things like SEO,no stress marketing, email list
building, automations and somuch more. Let's get started,
y'all.
So when I think back on all ofthe times that I have said yes,
(01:29):
when I should have said no, itall kind of boils down to the
logic makes sense, even thoughmy gut says no, and I ignore my
gut and I say yes, anyway. MaybeI don't want to miss out on
something. I've got a littleFOMO, or I feel like, logically,
maybe this is a good move for mybusiness. Maybe my sales have
(01:53):
been down, and I'm hoping thiswill be the boost that I need.
Sometimes I just don't want tosay no, because I don't want to
seem ungrateful or disappointthe person who asked me, or
maybe I don't want them to notask me again next time.
You know, I've had a lot ofsituations where the reason I
said yes is because I was peoplepleasing and I didn't want to
(02:15):
disappoint somebody. And whatI've learned lately is that if I
just say, you know, this soundslike a great opportunity, but
it's not the right choice for meright now. And maybe you tell
them why, maybe you don't,depends on what the reasoning
is. But if I say, you know, nota good choice for me right now,
but hey, definitely ask me nexttime. Most people are really
(02:35):
receptive to that, and theyreally appreciate it. They
appreciate you saying no tosomething you know you can't
really support the way that youneed to or that maybe it'll be a
stretch a reach for you to getsomething done. They appreciate
you being honest about that.
On the flip side, I havedefinitely participated in lots
(02:56):
of things where I should havesaid no. I have participated in
summits where the process waskind of a mess and the
expectations weren't clear.
Maybe there was not goodcommunication about what we
needed to do to promote or whereto turn things in, or when
things are due. There justwasn't a good, solid plan in
place, and that made it adifficult thing for me to
(03:18):
participate in, because then Iam left scrambling at the last
minute when I realized somethingis due that I didn't know was
due, because there just wasn't agood, solid plan and good
communication in place.
And a lot of times with thingslike that, you can tell up front
that it might not be asorganized as you'd like for it
to be, because you can tell inthe way that the organizers talk
(03:42):
about it, especially if they saythings that indicate it's not
quite all put together yet, butthey're just trying to go ahead
and get people to sign up, andyou know, they don't have a
really solid plan for whatthey're doing.
Another big red flag for me hasbeen when something about the
contract felt bad, and I've hada situation where I saw
(04:03):
something in the contract thatjust felt off to me. My gut was
whispering no, and I toldmyself, you know, don't worry
about it. That's justboilerplate legal language. You
know, we all put it in ourcontracts. They're not really
gonna do what it says. And thenthey turned around after the
event, and they sold mypresentation in a way that
(04:24):
technically did fit thecontract, but it was not a way
that I intended to be agreeingfor them to sell it, and that
just felt really, really icky tome.
I've also participated in somepromos where I ended up
accidentally breaking trust withmy audience. You know, maybe my
audience got treated like agiant list of people to pitch
(04:46):
to, or the organizers weren'treally delivering on the thing
they sold at the end of thecollaborative event. And what
happens then is it really makesmy audience not trust me, if I'm
saying yes to those kinds ofthings. So it erodes trust that
(05:06):
my audience has with me, thatI've worked hard to build over
years and years of running mybusiness. You can destroy it so
quickly by saying yes to thewrong collaboration with the
wrong person.
Now when it comes to clients, Ihave also gotten on discovery
calls with a potential newclient, where in my gut, I could
tell that it wasn't going to gowell. Maybe it was going to be a
(05:28):
difficult project, or ourprocesses weren't aligned well.
Sometimes I see those warningsigns even in the initial forms
or emails with the client beforewe even get on the call, or
things come up during thediscovery call, and instead of
saying no when I know deep downI should, I try to find a way to
make things work, because Idon't want to disappoint the
(05:49):
client who's maybe excited aboutworking with me.
Anytime that I don't fully vetsomeone, or I go against my
normal processes because it felturgent, or maybe I was excited
about it, anytime that happens,I end up on the back end of it
with a difficult project or aclient that just wasn't a good
fit. And chances are, then theyaren't having a good experience
(06:12):
working with me any more thanI'm having a good experience
working with them. So I havelearned that if my gut says no,
it's a no. Even if my brain istrying to talk me out of it,
even if there are logicalreasons that I probably should
think about saying yes, if mygut says no, it's a no.
(06:33):
Now you can say no gracefully tosomething that's not a good fit
and still keep that relationshipin a really good place. Like I
shared earlier, sometimes the nois a no because it's just not
the right time for me. Maybeyou're too busy with other
things. Maybe you've got otherpromos going on at the same
time. You don't want tooverwhelm your email list or
your audience with tons ofpromotional things all at once.
(06:56):
If that's the case, the magicphrase for you is, this isn't a
good fit for me right now, butplease ask me again next time.
That way, you're indicating topeople that you are interested,
but just not right now.
Now other times you might needto say no because it's not a
good fit and you don't want themto ask next time. And so in that
case, then you're gonna leaveoff the last half of that and
(07:18):
just say, you know, thank you somuch for asking. I feel honored
that you reached out to me, butthis just isn't a good fit for
me or for my audience right now.
Keep in mind what's really atstake when we say yes. I have
heard from someone and I can'tremember who it is to give them
credit now, but I have heardbefore that every yes we say is
a no to something else. So withkeeping that in mind, we need to
(07:43):
really protect those yeses andmake sure that when we say yes,
it is a wholehearted yes to theright things and not a yes where
deep down you're feeling likeSo here's what you need to do.
If you have had trouble withmaybe this isn't really the
right choice.
setting those boundaries andsaying yes to the wrong things,
(08:05):
go ahead now and set some clearboundaries. The reason you want
to do it now is because it's somuch easier to set those
boundaries right now whileyou've just been listening to me
talk about some of my mistakes,maybe it brought up some that
you've made before, and you'renot actually in a situation
where you need to say no.
So if your situation is needingto set boundaries with clients,
(08:27):
saying no to clients who aren'ta good fit, then create some
prequalifying kind of questionsthat you're either going to ask
in a form or on a call, and setthat boundary with yourself. If
this doesn't look right to me,then I'm going to cancel the
call. Or if it's on the call,I'm gonna say, you know, I just
don't think that we are theright fit to work together.
If it doesn't feel right fromthe very beginning, when you
(08:48):
first get that initial leadform, or they first book the
call, go ahead and cancel thecall before you even get on.
Because if you're like me, it'sa whole lot harder to say no to
somebody face to face on a callthan it is in an email where you
can think through what you'regoing to say and maybe even
build up the courage to sendthat no email.
(09:09):
When it comes to things thatyou're invited to do, whether
it's a summit or a collaborativesale or whatever, a bundle
promo, be slower to say yes. Goahead and set the intention now
that the next time somebodyreaches out to you about an
opportunity for your business,that you are not going to say
yes right away, that you aregoing to read their message and
(09:31):
you're going to reply back withsomething like, Let me think
about it and get back to you. Orlet me go check my calendar.
This gives you some extra timebefore you have to actually
respond to that invitation. Itreally is okay to kind of sit
with that invitation for alittle while. Think about that
(09:53):
FOMO, that fear of missing out,sit in that and just let the
invitation hang for a little bitwhile you think about whether
it's the right choice or not.
In fact, I've even had to dothat in my personal life not too
long ago. My family got invitedto something, and my initial gut
reaction was, yes, let's do it,that sounds fun. But the more I
thought about it, the more Irealized this isn't the right
(10:15):
choice for our family right now.
We need to say no to this sothat we can say yes to some
other things. And because Ididn't immediately respond with
the Yes, because I took sometime, because I said, let me
check our calendar, let me talkto the family, I was able to
have the time to think about itand come back and say no to the
thing I really needed to say noto so that we could say yes to
some better stuff down the road.
(10:37):
Here's the bottom line, ifsomething feels off, if it just
doesn't feel good in your gut,you don't owe anyone a yes, no
matter how exciting or promisingor flattering it is. If your gut
is saying no, then you need tolisten to it. It's probably
trying to save you time orenergy or a whole big mess of
(10:58):
cleanup later on down the road.
Now, inside The Savvy SellerCollective, we talk a lot about
boundaries and how to evaluateopportunities and make smart
business decisions that actuallyserve your business instead of
draining it and leaving you withthose regrets from saying no. So
if you are ready to join a groupof people who are working on
(11:18):
building a business that feelsgood and is successful, then I
would love for you to come joinus at
kristendoyle.co/collective. I'lltalk to you soon.
You ever say yes to something, maybe it was a
collaboration or a summit, or aclient, even though your gut was
already saying, No, don't do it?
Yeah, I've done it more thanonce, and I'm sure you have too.
And here's the thing, I havelearned, that it never ends
well. So today, I am sharingsome real life examples of when
(00:21):
I ignored my gut instincts inbusiness, why we do this to
ourselves, and most importantly,how to stop saying yes when deep
down, you know your gut istelling you no. Because let me
tell you, protecting your yesesis one of the most important
things that you can do for yourbusiness.
(00:45):
Are you a digital product orcourse creator, selling on
platforms like Teachers PayTeachers, Etsy, or your own
website? Ready to grow yourbusiness, but not into the kind
of constant hustle that leadsstraight to burnout? Then you're
in the right place. Welcome toThe Savvy Seller. I'm Kristen
Doyle, and I'm here to give youno-fluff tools and strategies
(01:08):
that move the needle for yourbusiness without burning you out
in the process—things like SEO,no stress marketing, email list
building, automations and somuch more. Let's get started,
y'all.
So when I think back on all ofthe times that I have said yes,
(01:29):
when I should have said no, itall kind of boils down to the
logic makes sense, even thoughmy gut says no, and I ignore my
gut and I say yes, anyway. MaybeI don't want to miss out on
something. I've got a littleFOMO, or I feel like, logically,
maybe this is a good move for mybusiness. Maybe my sales have
(01:53):
been down, and I'm hoping thiswill be the boost that I need.
Sometimes I just don't want tosay no, because I don't want to
seem ungrateful or disappointthe person who asked me, or
maybe I don't want them to notask me again next time.
You know, I've had a lot ofsituations where the reason I
said yes is because I was peoplepleasing and I didn't want to
(02:15):
disappoint somebody. And whatI've learned lately is that if I
just say, you know, this soundslike a great opportunity, but
it's not the right choice for meright now. And maybe you tell
them why, maybe you don't,depends on what the reasoning
is. But if I say, you know, nota good choice for me right now,
but hey, definitely ask me nexttime. Most people are really
(02:35):
receptive to that, and theyreally appreciate it. They
appreciate you saying no tosomething you know you can't
really support the way that youneed to or that maybe it'll be a
stretch a reach for you to getsomething done. They appreciate
you being honest about that.
On the flip side, I havedefinitely participated in lots
(02:56):
of things where I should havesaid no. I have participated in
summits where the process waskind of a mess and the
expectations weren't clear.
Maybe there was not goodcommunication about what we
needed to do to promote or whereto turn things in, or when
things are due. There justwasn't a good, solid plan in
place, and that made it adifficult thing for me to
(03:18):
participate in, because then Iam left scrambling at the last
minute when I realized somethingis due that I didn't know was
due, because there just wasn't agood, solid plan and good
communication in place.
And a lot of times with thingslike that, you can tell up front
that it might not be asorganized as you'd like for it
to be, because you can tell inthe way that the organizers talk
(03:42):
about it, especially if they saythings that indicate it's not
quite all put together yet, butthey're just trying to go ahead
and get people to sign up, andyou know, they don't have a
really solid plan for whatthey're doing.
Another big red flag for me hasbeen when something about the
contract felt bad, and I've hada situation where I saw
(04:03):
something in the contract thatjust felt off to me. My gut was
whispering no, and I toldmyself, you know, don't worry
about it. That's justboilerplate legal language. You
know, we all put it in ourcontracts. They're not really
gonna do what it says. And thenthey turned around after the
event, and they sold mypresentation in a way that
(04:24):
technically did fit thecontract, but it was not a way
that I intended to be agreeingfor them to sell it, and that
just felt really, really icky tome.
I've also participated in somepromos where I ended up
accidentally breaking trust withmy audience. You know, maybe my
audience got treated like agiant list of people to pitch
(04:46):
to, or the organizers weren'treally delivering on the thing
they sold at the end of thecollaborative event. And what
happens then is it really makesmy audience not trust me, if I'm
saying yes to those kinds ofthings. So it erodes trust that
(05:06):
my audience has with me, thatI've worked hard to build over
years and years of running mybusiness. You can destroy it so
quickly by saying yes to thewrong collaboration with the
wrong person.
Now when it comes to clients, Ihave also gotten on discovery
calls with a potential newclient, where in my gut, I could
tell that it wasn't going to gowell. Maybe it was going to be a
(05:28):
difficult project, or ourprocesses weren't aligned well.
Sometimes I see those warningsigns even in the initial forms
or emails with the client beforewe even get on the call, or
things come up during thediscovery call, and instead of
saying no when I know deep downI should, I try to find a way to
make things work, because Idon't want to disappoint the
(05:49):
client who's maybe excited aboutworking with me.
Anytime that I don't fully vetsomeone, or I go against my
normal processes because it felturgent, or maybe I was excited
about it, anytime that happens,I end up on the back end of it
with a difficult project or aclient that just wasn't a good
fit. And chances are, then theyaren't having a good experience
(06:12):
working with me any more thanI'm having a good experience
working with them. So I havelearned that if my gut says no,
it's a no. Even if my brain istrying to talk me out of it,
even if there are logicalreasons that I probably should
think about saying yes, if mygut says no, it's a no.
(06:33):
Now you can say no gracefully tosomething that's not a good fit
and still keep that relationshipin a really good place. Like I
shared earlier, sometimes the nois a no because it's just not
the right time for me. Maybeyou're too busy with other
things. Maybe you've got otherpromos going on at the same
time. You don't want tooverwhelm your email list or
your audience with tons ofpromotional things all at once.
(06:56):
If that's the case, the magicphrase for you is, this isn't a
good fit for me right now, butplease ask me again next time.
That way, you're indicating topeople that you are interested,
but just not right now.
Now other times you might needto say no because it's not a
good fit and you don't want themto ask next time. And so in that
case, then you're gonna leaveoff the last half of that and
(07:18):
just say, you know, thank you somuch for asking. I feel honored
that you reached out to me, butthis just isn't a good fit for
me or for my audience right now.
Keep in mind what's really atstake when we say yes. I have
heard from someone and I can'tremember who it is to give them
credit now, but I have heardbefore that every yes we say is
a no to something else. So withkeeping that in mind, we need to
(07:43):
really protect those yeses andmake sure that when we say yes,
it is a wholehearted yes to theright things and not a yes where
deep down you're feeling likeSo here's what you need to do.
If you have had trouble withmaybe this isn't really the
right choice.
setting those boundaries andsaying yes to the wrong things,
(08:05):
go ahead now and set some clearboundaries. The reason you want
to do it now is because it's somuch easier to set those
boundaries right now whileyou've just been listening to me
talk about some of my mistakes,maybe it brought up some that
you've made before, and you'renot actually in a situation
where you need to say no.
So if your situation is needingto set boundaries with clients,
(08:27):
saying no to clients who aren'ta good fit, then create some
prequalifying kind of questionsthat you're either going to ask
in a form or on a call, and setthat boundary with yourself. If
this doesn't look right to me,then I'm going to cancel the
call. Or if it's on the call,I'm gonna say, you know, I just
don't think that we are theright fit to work together.
If it doesn't feel right fromthe very beginning, when you
(08:48):
first get that initial leadform, or they first book the
call, go ahead and cancel thecall before you even get on.
Because if you're like me, it'sa whole lot harder to say no to
somebody face to face on a callthan it is in an email where you
can think through what you'regoing to say and maybe even
build up the courage to sendthat no email.
(09:09):
When it comes to things thatyou're invited to do, whether
it's a summit or a collaborativesale or whatever, a bundle
promo, be slower to say yes. Goahead and set the intention now
that the next time somebodyreaches out to you about an
opportunity for your business,that you are not going to say
yes right away, that you aregoing to read their message and
(09:31):
you're going to reply back withsomething like, Let me think
about it and get back to you. Orlet me go check my calendar.
This gives you some extra timebefore you have to actually
respond to that invitation. Itreally is okay to kind of sit
with that invitation for alittle while. Think about that
(09:53):
FOMO, that fear of missing out,sit in that and just let the
invitation hang for a little bitwhile you think about whether
it's the right choice or not.
In fact, I've even had to dothat in my personal life not too
long ago. My family got invitedto something, and my initial gut
reaction was, yes, let's do it,that sounds fun. But the more I
thought about it, the more Irealized this isn't the right
(10:15):
choice for our family right now.
We need to say no to this sothat we can say yes to some
other things. And because Ididn't immediately respond with
the Yes, because I took sometime, because I said, let me
check our calendar, let me talkto the family, I was able to
have the time to think about itand come back and say no to the
thing I really needed to say noto so that we could say yes to
some better stuff down the road.
(10:37):
Here's the bottom line, ifsomething feels off, if it just
doesn't feel good in your gut,you don't owe anyone a yes, no
matter how exciting or promisingor flattering it is. If your gut
is saying no, then you need tolisten to it. It's probably
trying to save you time orenergy or a whole big mess of
(10:58):
cleanup later on down the road.
Now, inside The Savvy SellerCollective, we talk a lot about
boundaries and how to evaluateopportunities and make smart
business decisions that actuallyserve your business instead of
draining it and leaving you withthose regrets from saying no. So
if you are ready to join a groupof people who are working on
(11:18):
building a business that feelsgood and is successful, then I
would love for you to come joinus at
kristendoyle.co/collective. I'lltalk to you soon.
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