body neutrality, size inclusivity, + setting boundaries with onewith swim founder, hayley segar

Episode Transcript
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Julia Salvia (00:06):
Hi everyone.
Welcome back to the selflove archives podcast.
I am so excited to beback with another episode.
This one's super special becauseI have the, the wonderful,
the one and only Hayley Segar.
She is the founder of onewithand she is not just the founder

(00:27):
of onewith, but she's a friendof mine and I'm so excited to
have her on the podcast today.
So I'm going to lether introduce herself
and we're going to getright into the episode.

Hayley Segar (00:36):
I'm so excited to be here, Julia.
I've been binging your podcastand I just can't wait to be on
and see what I can contributeto this community and share
onewith with this community.
So thank you for having me.

Thanks for being here.
I really appreciate you.
Of course.
Of course..
So tell me all the things.
Tell me about yourself, aboutonewith, how you got here.

Absolutely.
Yeah.
So I'm Haley.
I'm the founder of onewith.
We make patent pendingwomen's swimsuits that fit
like no show underwear.
I am born and raised onthe Connecticut shoreline.
Um, and I, Came out withonewith in 2021, but I
thought of the idea in 2019.
So basically the way it happenedwas I was trying on a bunch

(01:22):
of different swimsuits for atrip to Miami, hated them all.
I literally said out loud,I just want a swimsuit
that fits like my favoriteno show underwear does.
That was my light bulb moment.
It hit me that if that didn'texist, I had to create it.
So of course it did not exist.
And I set out on a journeyto bring it to life.
And.
It's been pretty incredible.
We went viral for the firsttime, not long after we

(01:45):
launched, um, which I kind ofhave you to thank for, by the
way, which we'll get to in asecond, because you were the
one that was like, Haley, youneed to get on onewith, or you
need to get onewith on TikTok.
And I was like, Idon't want to do that.
Please don't make me.
And you were like, Ithink you're going to
regret it if you don't.
And, yeah, so you aredefinitely in part to thank for

(02:06):
at least urging me to do it.
Like make a onewithaccount and start posting.
So thank you for that.
I appreciate it.
Of course.
I'm so glad.
But yeah, so that was kind ofhow we got our start was like
going viral for the first time.
And then we've had several sortof viral pops, since then.
And it's really just beenpeople connecting with the
ethos of swimsuits that fitlike no show underwear that

(02:28):
don't dig or squeeze or compressor try to morph your body
into anything that it isn't.
So that is something that hasreally resonated with people.
We've always been sizeinclusive since we launched.
It's, it's really great tobe a founder, obviously a lot
of hard work and, you know,I've gone on a pretty major,
like self development journeysince just starting onewith,

(02:50):
which is why content like yourpodcast resonates so deeply
with me and I'm just reallyexcited to be here again.
So thank you for having me.

Of course.
Thank you.
I feel so special.
Like, I'm like just alittle blip and like this
big journey of yours.
And that makes me soproud of you, but also so
happy to like contribute.
I remember I was like, I doremember that conversation.
I was like, girl, I knowit's very overwhelming.
Like social media isoverwhelming in general, but
you got to get on TikTok.

(03:18):
So I'm happy you did.

I did.
And you can go back toother podcasts I've done.
I have specificallynamed dropped you.
I've been like, my friend Juliatold me that I need to do this.
Like literally.
So, yeah.
And honestly, it was, to me,it was, it was kind of an act
of self love to refrain frombeing on Tik TOK because I saw,
to be honest with you, likewhat the culture was like on

(03:39):
Tik TOK and I didn't like it.
I thought it was very toxic.
And, um, so I kind of, youknow, abstained from joining
right away, sort of waited toget my footing with onewith,
and then, you know, wenton and went all in, um, but
I still have really firm.
boundaries with TikTok, likevery firm boundaries with
TikTok that I just don't wish tocross, but it, it has been such

(04:04):
a big, you know, springboardfor, for my business, which
I'm really grateful for.

It's, it's funny you mentioned that
because that's one ofmy questions for you.
It's really kind ofgetting into that virality.
So I think a lot of people getsuper excited over virality and
it's just, I don't personallythink that it's something to
get so gung ho excited aboutbecause it really can just, it's
like, it brings your contentto so many different types

(04:35):
of pages, and it's sometimeshard to, pinpoint or pick
out, okay, all of these peoplethat are here, like half of
these people that are herefrom this video going viral
are the people that I want.
This is the marketI want to reach.
These are the people I'm tryingto, to talk to, to speak to.
But the other half islike, really hating on

(04:56):
what I'm trying to do.
I think it's, it's, It'sdefinitely a moment where you
need to kind of go inward andreflect and really take yourself
out of it and know that.
It's almost like, you knowhow people say with social
media, like, if you'regetting hate, that means
you're doing something right.

(05:17):
You're just like, how?
All these people do notagree with that statement.
They're like, they reallyhate what I'm doing.
Yeah.
And you're just cursingthe platform because you're
just like, why are yougiving, why are you showing
this video to people whodon't want to see this?
Yes.

Yeah.
And that's a very real thing.
And again, yeah, do I thinklike, You know what you sign
up for when you try to make ormake a viral video, if you will?
Yeah, of course.
But again, are there thingsyou can do, like you said,
to kind of take yourselfout of it or just lessen the
impact that this video beingshown to the masses has?

(05:56):
Of course, and that's whereI think like You know making
conscious decisions for foryourself is so important I

really like respect and like appreciate your
boundaries so much with it, too.
I know we had a conversationum, I think a while back when
we were talking about like thatinitial virality of onewith And
how you ended up turning offthe comments and I was like, I
don't agree with it from like abusiness perspective To do that,

(06:24):
but if it if it's hurting yourmental health To the point where
you can't look at these commentsand or you're focusing so much
Or anyone saying you like isanybody like focusing so much
on like the not so good commentswhere it's affecting your your
own mental health personally oras a business owner or It's just

(06:46):
affecting the way that you workor connect with the audience
that you actually want to haveYeah, then I think that
that boundary that decisionis just Such a good one.

Totally.
And, and you're not the only onethat told me it was ill advised
to obviously shut them off.
, I shut them off in Februaryof 2022 and they've never
come back on and it's, we'rerecording this May, 2024.
So that's kind of crazy.
But yeah, it was, , it was,it was part logistical, like
genuinely it was logistical.
I actually, I didn't just.
And let it be known when thecomments got shut off, it wasn't

(07:20):
just shutting off the comments.
I also privated the account.
Because we were getting moreorders and we could keep up with
like, I was genuinely concernedthat we were reaching this.
This sounds wild.
But again, we wereso much smaller.
We're reaching too wideof an audience, and we did
not have the infrastructureto support this volume.

(07:41):
So I literally it wasn'tjust the comments going off.
I also did private theaccount and I forget if
I've said I don't thinkI've said that before.
Like, it wasn't just ashut off of the comments.
It was a unilateral likeclosing this channel.
So that we can keep up andyeah, and then when it came
time to, you know, I likeI'm probably did the account,
the comments stayed off andthen I'd be like, Oh, you
know, I'll turn them back on.

(08:01):
Um, and then again, it wasjust like, I saw some stuff
I just didn't, I didn't love.
And honestly, now that, youknow, we've had, we've been
at market for longer andour Instagram comments have
always been on, like, I know.
I know what it is and Iknow, you know, what we get.
We, we get an overwhelmingpositive response on Instagram.

(08:23):
TikTok was just like a differentbeast for us and, and that's
why ultimately I decided,like, I think our, our demo
is more on Instagram thanTikTok, if that makes sense.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
So that's why, like, that'swhy I wasn't so, , averse
to Shutting them off andkeeping them off there.

(08:44):
Because again, I was like, Oh,I think our people are more on
Instagram, if that makes sense.

Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense.
Um, and I do remembertalking about how you
privated the accountbecause it was just like an
overwhelming amount of people.
And honestly, I commendyou for doing that.
Cause I would just be like,uh, cause you know, it's
what happened was such a goodproblem to have, but to pivot
and make that decision wasprobably such a tough decision.

(09:10):
Cause you're like,I don't want to.
You're probably thinking inyour head, like, I don't want
to close anybody out frompurchasing onewith, because
you want, especially as likea newer brand at the time,
you want that traction.
You want there to be.
Sales and you want peopleto connect with onewith.
Yeah.
So to really focus on thepeople who were already there.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
Mm-Hmm.
, I

Speaker 2 (09:33):
feel like was such a good move in regards to like,
kind of like shutting everythingdown in a way to really focus
and prioritize the people thatyou already did kind of reel in

exact.
Exactly, exactly.
You said it.
I need to like bottle upwhat you just said, . , it
was perfect, but yeah, no,that's exactly what we did.
And again, it was just kind of arealization to serve the people
that, like you said, we had,we had captured at that point.

Yeah.
And I love that so much.
So are there anyother boundaries that
were on this topic?
Are there any other boundarieswith yourself as like a
founder and as a woman thatyou've set in regards to work
and your career in general,including of course, running
a business that would.

(10:24):
I think all boundaries helpus with our own self love.
So any boundariesat all in that way?

Julia, so many.

You're like, here's my

list.
And it's like, I don'tmean to be that guy who,
who exhausts the termboundaries or uses it lightly.
I can't express enoughhow radically different
of a person I am than fromwhen I started onewith.
Because of rules.

(10:55):
Like I always say every timeI go through Some sort of
like breakthrough moment,whether that's going viral,
whether that's like an actualbreakdown, like whether
I'm, I'm way overwhelmed.
I come out, what I always sayis like, I come out of that
with like a new constitutionfor how I'm doing things.
Right.
I come out with a new set ofrules that I'm implementing.
So multiply a new setof rules by, you know,

(11:17):
basically five years now ofworking on this business.
And.
You get a completelychanged person.
So, so to answer your question,yes, there's, there's so much.
And I think like in termsof, from like a self love
perspective, I had to, Ireached a point in, in like
spring of 2022 where I was sooverwhelmed and felt so at the

(11:44):
mercy of everyone around me.
And I actually hired aproductivity coach, so I
can't really take credit for.
Coming up with these systems,you know, I, I did work with
someone to help me do this,but basically I realized
certain things about the waythat my body performed during
the day and my mind performedduring the day and I was

(12:06):
giving, I was everywhere foreveryone doing everything,
to like serving nobodybasically, and so overwhelmed.
And I. Was not ontop of my myself.
I had gained 40 pounds insix weeks 40 pounds in six
weeks It was out of control.

(12:26):
I was completely out ofcontrol like I was spiraling
and so basically I wentto this productivity coach
and She was like, okay.
We need to just go backto the drawing board here.
When do you feel your best?
Just like asking me all thesequestions and essentially
what the net net is is likeI have a dedicated time in

(12:46):
the morning for my morningroutine I do not let anything
in before that time, thatcut, that cutoff time.
I only do my calls betweenX and X time, right?
Anything after that is like,if someone requests something
after a certain time window,can't do it, we'll have to go
to the next day or whatever,you know, my next availability

(13:07):
is in that time slot.
There's, there'sjust so many things.
I really can only handledoing two big things a week.
Like.
Whether that's two shoots,whether that's like a major
event, whatever that is.
Otherwise I run myself into theground with the amount of output
that onewith takes just on likea maintenance level from me.

(13:29):
So there's so much I couldsay there, but those are just
like quick little things thatI've implemented that were
really big in restructuringand, and putting new boundaries
in place for the way thatI schedule myself out.

I completely agree with you.
I feel like that's always.
When there's big life changesthat happen in my life, like
for me, that was definitely lastyear when my dad passed away.
And then when I moved and justall of these huge things, like
these huge, um, environmentshifts happened for me.
Like I had to completely, andthat's what I feel like I've

(14:07):
been doing for the past yearand a half ever since really
being in this new space.
It's like, how can I. Switchup my routines and where
can I set better boundaries?
I think we're always, as peoplestuck in this, you know, this
is the way that we're supposedto do it, whether it's just the
way that we've always learnedhow to do it or whether it's

(14:30):
just the way that we think we'resupposed to do it when it's,
it doesn't have to be that way.
Like I, I know in my head,my parents would always
get so annoyed that I sleptReally late and my dad, I
just have my dad in my head.
Like I get up at 4 30 inthe morning to go to work

(14:50):
and I got to, I drive thereand I got to be somewhere.
And I'm just like, butthat doesn't work for me.
Right.
I, I kind of went inward andI really listened to myself
in probably the same waythat you did in these moments
where, okay, when do I reallyfeel my best in the morning?

(15:13):
And what am I doingwhen I feel my best?
What time is it?
Yes, and what am I actuallydoing during that time and
for me the like sweet spot oflike when to get up Is between
7 and 8 a. m Anything earlieri'm just it's not a good day
for julia Anything later?
It's also not a really greatday for me I'm, just not I

(15:36):
don't feel productive if Iwake up after eight o'clock

same thing with all these little things You Yes,
no, I'm, I'm totally with you.
And I think to your point interms of kind of there being
an inner density of not seeingalternative ways of doing things
like, Oh, it just has to bethis way or, Oh, it is that way.
Right.
That's where I do think, youknow, whether it's, you know,

(16:01):
you having the ability to stepout for a second and look at
your life from like an objectiveperspective and say, okay, maybe
I could, maybe it could set awindow to sleep up or to sleep
To, you know, whatever that is,or, um, I personally struggle
with that sometimes becauseI can be very, very dense.
So me having people like,again, a productivity coach

(16:26):
or a mindset coach be like,okay, well, why do you do that?
And like, make meexplain why I do that.
And they're like, Hmm,that doesn't sound like
you have to do that.
Like that is veryvaluable for me.
And I'm like, but I haveto, you know what I mean?
And it's like, doyou know, you know?
So.
So there's a lot, I think,of value in outsourcing
the ability to look at yourschedule or your routine or

(16:48):
your habits or whatever that is.
But again, I also think alot of people aren't capable
of doing that themselves.
I just, I just struggle withconjuring that up within
me, if that makes sense.
Yeah,

no, of course that makes sense.
I think sometimes, We couldeven go as far to say, like,
there are certain people thatcould be more helpful for
some people versus others.
Like, , I love always mentioningthat I have a girl that
comes and cleans my house.
She only comes once a month,and it is the best day of my

(17:19):
life when she comes becauseshe saves me probably, like,
a week's worth of cleaning.
Yes.
Because I'd have to fit it intomy schedule and figure it out.
So would I rather Spend the 200on her to come clean my whole
entire house for one day, orwould I want to waste the time

(17:42):
that I have to work on myself,my business, um, and, you know,
actually give myself that time,maybe like in the morning and,
and give myself, you know, free,free up some time for myself.
What's

more worthwhile?
Absolutely.
Well, and, and you also haveto look at it too, as like an
opportunity cost situation.
Will it cost you more, Julia?
To spend a week cleaningyour house in opportunity,
in productivity.
The answer is yeah, youspending that 200 is
something that will ROI.
Like you will see a returnon investment from that

(18:15):
because you are more free todo things that make money,
make time, make, you know,things that you want to do.
I'm the thing that I, byfar spend the most money
on is my time, thingsto outsource my time.
And that is the best possiblegift that I can give myself

(18:35):
at this juncture of my life.
And I'm sure you're in asimilar situation, but yeah.
Outsourcing my time, ifyou will, if we can call
it that is such an amazinginvestment in yourself.
100%.

And I think if we can listen to ourselves or
hire someone that can help uslisten to ourselves, whatever
that ends up being like apsychic, I say, if we don't,
if you believe in it, Great.
If you don't, yes, fine.
But if something isgoing to help you, why
not be open to that?

(19:09):
You know, it's, it'ssuch a big thing.
Like, why not be opento something that could
potentially help you?
So if we can listen to ourselvesor hire that person to help
us listen to ourselves, Ithink that saving time here,
being more productive there,or making sure that we are
working out like our daily.

(19:29):
Schedules or our weeklyschedules or monthly schedules
to an extent where we'reactually putting in the time to
care for ourselves in regardsto self care, doing what we have
to do for whatever, you know,if we own our own business or
if we have a career, a nineto five, whatever it may be,
um, building relationships andconnecting with people that

(19:51):
we care about friends, family,significant others, whatever it
may, whatever the case may be.
And we can be able to better.
Productively set up ourschedule and our day to day.
I think that we can, atthe end of the day, we end
up loving ourselves more.
I can't tell you how muchmore productive I am and
how much more, how much moreI connect with people just

(20:14):
because I meditate everymorning for like 10 minutes.

Yes.
And like, that's it.
Yes.
No, it doesn't.
It's.
I think the thing withmeditation too is people think
it needs to be this wholeritualed light candles thing
and it is like it can be itcan be whatever you want and
that's the thing you knowlike there are I think there's
some people who will like domeditation also can I just
say one thing I'm very jealousof and I'm listening to your

(20:38):
podcast also to like help mewith this you don't use the term
like at all and I overuse itlike crazy so I feel like I do
you don't You you don't you'reso good julia, I can't but I

Speaker 2 (20:48):
also I also I have to be transparent I
might also edit the likes out

Like It is flawless.
It is amazing.
I cannot tell.
Um, sorry.
I just had to say that I hadto see that in here uh, and
again here I go saying um, andi'll be like and um, like So I
also know there are people whowill meditate in the morning
when they wake up, like firstthing that they do is meditate.

(21:18):
In their bed.
That's you.
That's you.
Not in my bed.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Not in my bed.
No.
I actually will cometo I'll come in here.
There's a chair over here.
Okay, you can see it, butthere's a chair over here.
I'll sit in that chairand that's kind of like my
meditation journal chair.
There's a lot of what reallyworks well for me in regards
to the productivity and likethe success of like my day,

(21:43):
And that makes me feel muchmore, I feel like I'm talking
very be productive, but thisis like, how, how can I love
myself more throughout the wholeday in this productive way?
I stack a lot of my, I guess,to dues against each other.
So in the morning it's likea very rigid routine and,

(22:06):
and it sounds like kind ofboring, but it really just
sets up my whole day forit to be such a great day.
Like.
It is wake up, do myskincare, brush my teeth,
change my clothes, sit inthis chair, meditate for 10
minutes or so, um, journal.
And then I stretch for likefive minutes cause I have
horrible, horrible posture, butthat's a whole nother story.

(22:30):
And then I eat breakfast and Iwill go and work out most days.
And that is how myschedule is really worked.
And it's kind of likestacking all of those.
together.
And one, because I think you'remore likely to do them when
you stack them like that.
If you're like my skincareroutine, I don't think I've

(22:52):
missed, I miss a skincareroutine and I'm talking
both my morning and nightskincare routine twice a year.
And that's only a thing.
Thank you.
That's only becauseI fall asleep.
Like if I fell asleep.
Okay.
Fair enough.
But like the morning one,I don't miss, I don't
ever miss it and it'sjust so ingrained in me.
So if I can stack other thingsagainst this one piece of my

(23:16):
day or this one habit that'sso ingrained in me, um, I feel
like it's more likely thatthey're going to happen versus
me just that in the middleof the day at one o'clock,
like you got to go do this.
I'm like, eh, it's goingto stick more if I do it.
By stacking it againstsomething that I'm already
that's already a habit.

(23:37):
That's already a routine

Completely.
Um, that's that's also howI do my morning routine.
I think that that is If youhave like a midday routine,
you're doing something wrong.
I'm just kidding, but There'sno way that that's effective
like there's just not Ithink the morning sets you
up for success I think habitstacking is a very real thing.
I personally meditatewhile doing my dr jenna's

(24:01):
gross What a good idea!I need to get one of those.
You do?
Yeah.
Also, Julia, I have myacupressure mat on my back.
So I'm laying down,meditating, meditation music
on Dr. Dennis Grossmaster.
Yes! And it's timed, threeminute intervals, so you can
like time how long you'vebeen sitting there for.

(24:22):
It's amazing.
It's perfect.
The mask, I mean.
I

love this.
I'm about to go get myselfan acupressure mat and
the Dr. Dennis Grossmask, red light mask.
It's

so good.
It's so good.
But no, I'm, we're totally onthe same page and if I have to
sacrifice part of my morningroutine, I'm basically giving
up a chance, a small portionof chance of success that
my day is going to go well.
Like I have to domy morning routine.

It's just like, I think having a
really good morning routine,you're setting the intention
for the rest of the day.
You're setting this intentionfor what's coming up,
and I think that's what'sso important about it.
It's like, in the morningroutine, you're setting
the intention, and forthe night routine, which
I honestly struggle with alot, um, it's like you're

(25:10):
kind of closing out the day.
And I think the reason whyI can't close out my day
is because I'm just like,my brain's still going, one
thing after the next, I'mtrying to finish something.
I'm trying.
So we're working onthat, but I've got the
morning routine down.

We're going to have to share our
nighttime routine tips.
Yeah, because morning, morningwas easy for me, but the
night is still something I'm,I'm trying to figure out.
And I feel like, you know,possibility is exciting.
Whatever we figure outwill be great whenever
we do figure it out.
But until then we arefiguring it out, you know,

one step at a time.

Yes,

exactly.
one step at a time Amazing.
So on that, on that samesubject, like what would
you generally, not just asa business owner, what would
you consider to be the biggestpart of your self love journey?

Again, not to, not to be this guy,
but setting boundaries.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yep.

and I actually have given a lot of thought
and a lot of air time to thisover the course of my life,
but I consider myself to havebeen born with an immense
amount of self love and selfesteem and self confidence.
It's never somethingI've struggled with.

(26:25):
And I feel grateful for that.
I've said from the jump,like literally from the time
I was a adolescent, that Ifeel very grateful to have
had that kind of baked in.
But there have been timesin my life where I have made
incredibly self sabotagingdecisions, routines, things

(26:46):
that ultimately made me suffer.
That I had to cut the shitwith basically, you know, and
In terms of getting to a placewhere I feel Really good as a
founder and as a 28 year oldwoman now The thing that has
been the most integral in thathas been Literally restructuring

(27:08):
the way that I look at lifewho's in my life How I move
about life It's it's all soradically different and that
then then in 2019 2020 So thatI think is the biggest part
of me being who I am and thelevel of self love that I have.

(27:30):
Um, yeah, just, just gettingso strict, you know, discipline
is freedom as they say, andthat is, I think, discipline
has been and boundaries havebeen the biggest part of that
for sure.

Sorry, I was smiling there
as you were talking.
I'm like, oh, that'syour Scorpio moon.
Yeah.
I was like, and what was your,I remember, your rising sign
was either Leo or Capricorn?
Cap.
Yeah, good memory.
Yep.
Right?
Cap rising.
And then

onewith was Leo?
onewith is Sag.
Sag rising, I believe, andmight also be Sag moon, and
then onewith is a Scorpio.
onewith itself,Sun, is a Scorpio.

That's so interesting because I was
like, Yeah, you're, I truly,I feel like, I remember your
rising sign was like Capricornor Leo and I can totally see
why you already kind of hadthat, um, I would say like
discipline in regards to likeyourself instilled, like that
responsibility is already there,that discipline is already

(28:33):
there, like the foundationalaspects of it, then you have
your Scorpio moon coming inlike, and it's just so deep
and so inward and so, Whatdo I gotta fix about myself?

Yeah.

What do I gotta change?
And it's that constant,like, Like, it's really
just in, like, it's justvery in your self conscious,
your sub subconscious.

Yes.

Essentially.

Yeah.
So if I was Smiley,I don't know.
No, no, I love it, and, andgood memory, um, on, on my
placements, if you will, butI'm, I have three things in
my chart, literally, whichis Libra, Cap, and Scorpio.
That's my entire, um,It's my entire chart.
Like, I don't haveanything else.
Well, you have,

you do have everything else.
I, I do, but The heavinessis in those four.
The

heaviness is in those three.
Those three, yeah.
Yeah, so, there's a lotof, like, you know, death
and rebirth and, youknow, just general self
improvement slash critique.
Mm hmm.

I, I gotta say, as much as the, as much as,
like, Scorpio, The, um, Scorpio,the eighth house and Pluto.
So all of those representlike that death and rebirth.
Yes.
And I, I hate to look atit that way because like
when we hear like death andrebirth, we're just like,
Oh, that doesn't sound too,that doesn't sound too hot.

Yeah.

That doesn't sound too exciting.
Um, I like to look at itfrom it, look at it from a
perspective of transformation.
Cause that'sliterally what it is.
We are just continuouslytransforming ourselves.
From becoming, you know, kindof like killing off the old
version and becoming a new.
And I think that's whatboundaries do for us.

Yes.

100%.
Like boundaries arefree, are freedom.
Kind of like howdiscipline is freedom.
Boundaries give you so much.

Yes.
And, and no completely.
And I should say, Julia,your term is better.
Like transformationis, is a better term
than death and rebirth.
I feel like you hear deathand rebirth so much in
astrology that that's like,I'm regurgitating that.
But transformation is.
The better term to use, but,but yes, no, and, and that's
why I'm like trying to getaway more from the term

(30:49):
boundary and really use theterm like constitutions more
because that's how it feels.
Like I'm writing at all times,my inner constitution for how
I move about the world and howI interact with people and how,
how I interact with myself.
And every time somethingnew pops up where I'm like,
Oh, that's going in there.
That's a new rule that I have.
, it just helps me be freer and.

(31:12):
Like, feel, feelbetter, you know, just
generally feel better.
So, yeah, I'm big

into that.
Yeah, I think that'sthe basis of, like, what
happens when we're in thisspace of, like, Alright, I
don't love myself at all.
Like, I don't feelgood about myself.
Which, I have to say, selflove isn't, is not a noun.
Maybe, maybe the dictionary,I'm not trying to, like, Start

(31:39):
an argument with a dictionary,but I am because I don't think
that self love is a noun.
I really think that itis a verb, an adjective.
I think that it'sa, it's a process.
It's a, um, it's ajourney and it's a choice.
Yes.
And That self love umbrellahas so many things under it.

(32:00):
And the one thing that I talkabout so much is boundaries.
So I promise that you'renot like pushing it so hard.
I think it's so important,especially for people
who are coming into life.
I think a lot of people whodon't particularly if they're
what those people that arelike, I don't love myself.
Yeah.
You brought a strugglewith boundaries.
I know I did.

I completely agree, Julia.
And again, the timeswhere in my life.
I was, again, sabotagingmyself the most, whatever,
was when I had a totallack of protective bubble.
Like, that to me is everything.
And to, to paint a picture ofwhat I was like Well, there's

(32:46):
not much I can say about whatI was like before, if you will,
but A physical manifestationof a lack of boundaries was
the fact that pre, pre me,you know, kind of having this
inner reckoning of, of whatmy inner constitution looks
or feels like, whatever.
I was, and I think this wasalso pre onewith in terms

(33:08):
of me, not having thisvoid filled, if you will.
But for example, someone'shaving A baby shower.
Someone's having, youknow, a bridal shower.
Someone's, you know, dogis turning two years old.
I would somehow sign myselfup to like go help with that
party and like come up a daybefore and like drive to and

(33:31):
from and pick shit up, youknow, and and I remember I
went to trade my car in andthey were like, why 50, 000
miles a year on your car?
And I was like, I don't know.
I don't know.
And I looked at my scheduleand it's like, oh, because
I'm committing myself to beeverywhere for everybody.

(33:52):
For everybody.
And there was no boundary.
There was, I remember the firsttime I said no to going to
someone's, like, bachelorette.
Or some, like, bridal,like something like
that, I don't even know.
And it was like, earthshattering to me.
Because I'm like, ohmy god, I can do that.
You know?
Yeah, but, but like my carwas suffering, my health was

(34:12):
suffering, like everythingaround me was suffering
because again, I also thinka lot of it was this inner
productivity void that I hadof wanting to be helpful,
wanting to be useful, wantingto make, wanting to build.
And I didn't have onewith yet.
So I was again, like seeingopportunities for like going
and helping people with randomstuff that I should have
never even been asked to do.

(34:33):
Like them asking would have beena financial, mental, physical
boundary to cross, but it'slike, The fact that I just
was signing myself up for allof that turned into a really
big debit on my health, myfinances, myself, my routine, my
productivity, like what I couldhave been giving to onewith or

(34:54):
my business had I had onewith atthat time that I was giving to
other people was crazy, crazy.
And again, like it manifestedin physical ways with my
health, with my car, everythingaround me was getting,
was suffering, you know?
I

think it's important as women that we
know that we can say no.
Cause I had the same problem.
I was, I was trying to beeverywhere, doing everything,
taking every opportunity,um, showing up for everyone.
Um, and it was coming.
I think that it was comingfrom a place of either FOMO

(35:32):
of like really just scaredof missing out on a potential
opportunity or a potential.
Um, moment toconnect with someone.
I didn't want it toruin any relationships.
And I think that just camefrom a really deep rooted,
first of all, a deep rooted,I would say task or discipline

(35:53):
that us as women are justsupposed to say yes, are just
supposed to drop everything.
Yeah.
Of, of, of drop everythingthat we're doing.
Stop trying to fill our cup andgo fill other people's cups to
be just a giver, not a taker.
Yeah.
And so I think it waspartially that and partially

(36:15):
just the way that a lotof us are raised as women.
But also that deep rooted fearin me of, okay, if I don't show
up, what's going to happen?
Yes.
When nothing's going to happen.
If, if, if, if anythingdoes happen, the opportunity
wasn't meant for you.
Right.
The friendship.

(36:35):
Isn't valuable enough toget over that hump or for
them to have any respectthat you're just trying
to take care of yourself.
Yes.
Or three, I think we're justcoming, we're, the other side
is really just coming from aplace of like, Hey, you did
all this other stuff for me,but why aren't you doing this?

(36:56):
Yeah.
That, that assumption that,You're just gonna keep allowing
that person or that thing tocontinuously, like, step all
over your lack of boundaries.
Yes.

Yeah.
They always say, like, thepeople that, the people that
get mad at you for settingboundaries are the people
who benefited from you havingnone in the first place or
having a lack of boundaries.
And that is true.
That is

true.

It's so true.
And also to your point, like wecame up in the influencer space
or content creation space atthe basically exact same time.
And that was, that was amajor part of me, like putting
the damn miles on my car.
Like, Oh my God, this, this,this gallery in Greenwich asked
me to come and take photos.
And then people aroundme would be like, are you

(37:42):
getting paid for that?
And I'd be like, well, no,but it's a good opportunity.
And it's like, And this,oh wow, I wonder why
I'm totally burnt out.
Like it's, it'syeah, it is a FOMO.
It is like a wantingto be helpful.
It is a way we were raisedas women and just, there's
so much that goes into it.

(38:04):
But yeah, like I also thinkthough, I would bet there's a
lot of content creators thatwent through something really
similar to what we did becauseof the constant stream of.
When I say what we did, Imean like being like, Oh wait,
I need to have boundaries.
Like the, like a reckoning ofsorts because of the constant
stream of opportunities tomeet people, go places, get

(38:26):
free things, meet this brand.
Like, I think, I think itwas information overload
for a really long time.
And I, I think that I've,

Gosh, I'm kind of right there with you with,
like, the, like, I got a listof boundaries that I have set
now and I definitely feel somuch better, I feel so much
more connected to myself,but in that, and I have the
opportunity to actually, like,give more to myself, too,
by setting the boundaries.
But in regards to theinfluencer space and the creator

(38:56):
space, I say no so much now.
And I don't feel bad aboutit because I think by always
saying yes, I've realizedthat a lot of the things
were not worth my time.
Yes, absolutely.
I mean,

and that's such, that is such a hard thing to
deal with, especially whenyou're someone who values your
time so much, looking back.
And being like, oh my gosh,I've, and you don't want to
call it a waste of time becauseyou learn, you know, but the
amount of time I've givenfruitlessly, if you will,

(39:32):
it can be so unsettling, youknow, and I don't want to be
like negative about it becauseboundaries really are about
creating freedom and stuff,but you have to, you have to
see them for what they are andyou have to get to that point
of wanting to set them andunderstanding the, You know,
kind of cause and effect ofit all to really appreciate
the benefits, if you will.

(39:54):
For

sure.
100%. You know.
I wanna switch gears a littlebit over to, what you mentioned
before about OneWidth and beingsize inclusive from the get go.
It's been a topic like onmy mind a lot because I've
gained a lot of weight overthe past year and year or

(40:16):
two, especially where I'vegone from kind of being in
this place of being confidentthat I'm going to more, most
likely fit into straightsizes, but be at the end.
I've always been like towardsthe end of straight sizing.
I've always been a large,I've always accepted.
And I'm just used to that.
The fact that like.

(40:37):
This company, like this littleboutique that you just walk
into, like at the Jerseyshore, I'm like, I know your
pants aren't going to fit me.
I've always had an assand I'm really okay with
having an ass over tryingto fit into your pants.
So I'm good.
I've accepted that.
I'm good with that.
But I've always been able toget lucky or fit into like
the tops or the sweatshirts.
But since gaining weight,I have been, I'm way

(41:00):
over that threshold now.
And like, I cannotwalk into a store.
Any boutique or shop atany store that only sells
straight sizes because itis more likely than not.
I will not fit them So it'sbeen an interesting Not I
wouldn't say realization,but because i've always
been on like the higher endi've always not fit average

(41:21):
sizing um Or straight sizing.
I've always been like mid size,but now I'm on like that teeter
of like mid size plus size.
It just depends on the brand.
Of course, we know women'sclothing are not the same across
the United, like across theUnited States, across America,
like across any continent,over, across the world.

(41:42):
It's wild.
That's a whole nother subject.
But I've noticed a lot latelyThe brands I don't fit into
anymore that I can't shop from.
But I've also noticed thebrands that split things in
half where they're like, here'splus size, here's straight size.
And they like, for some reason,keep them on separate tabs.

(42:06):
So I just want to, I wantto start by saying like,
I appreciate that youdon't do that, that you
actually just like, here,here's, here's what it is.
Pick your size.

Correct.
And, and that, thatis how I look at it.
You know, um, like tome, it's just us making.
As many sizes as possible forwomen like that's what we do.
Do you know what i'm saying?
And and yeah, I I touchedon it lightly, but I I
have been up and down inweight my entire life.

(42:36):
I have run the gamut So to tome if I were to create a brand
that didn't have a vast array ofsizing it would be Hypocritical
and the antithesis to myjourney so far legitimately,
you know, so so there's thatelement You And I, and I totally
relate and resonate with that.
And, you know, it was partand parcel to me to launch

(43:00):
onewith being size inclusive.
Like that was soimportant to me.

Yeah.

The idea of someone coming to our brand
and us not having theirsize, like broke my heart
and it goes both ways.
Size inclusivity goes both ways.
When we started outsizing, ifyou will, like people started.
All of our sizes weretoo big for them.
There was a time where our extrasmall was too big for people.

(43:26):
It broke my heart.
Like those emailsbroke my heart.
When we physically did nothave sizing for people,
I was like, okay, we gotto make a double extra
small, you know, like that.
Size inclusivity goesboth ways and we started
at an extra small to 3XL.
We cut the extra smallbecause we had to fix it.
So we were, I think, small to3X and then we launched extra

(43:49):
small again to 4X and nowwe're double extra small to 4X.
So it's been, you know, ajourney for us refining,
tweaking, but to me being aboutique owner, I'm sorry, and,
and having someone walk in andUs just and and not like be out
of stock of someone's size likenot carry their size is Like it

(44:11):
makes me physically nauseous.
I can't stomach that forwhatever reason And it's just
it's just important to me.
It's just important, you know,like I think I think it's
kind of the bare minimum.
Sorry

No, oh my gosh Sorry at all.
I i'm in complete agreementwith you I I can't even fathom
like it makes me really upsettoo because it's like I get it
from, I guess, a boutique sidebecause I had, um, I know, I
know what like the back endlooks like, and I know that's

(44:47):
really where things need to befixed because, you know, they're
purchasing from the sellersto then sell at their boutique
and, and they're buying thingswholesale and like the numbers
that they come in, like, it'susually like two smalls, two
mediums, two large, and theydon't sell anything else.
But to me, I'm like.

(45:07):
Then why sell at all?
Then why

buy that at all?
Correct.
And Good American is agreat example of this.
They won't sell to a storewholesale unless the brand
or the boutique or you knowdepartment store Whatever
is willing to bring in theentire size range So you
can't you can't piecemeal youhave to bring the entire size
range in and like you saidlike we know the back end

(45:31):
Logistics of what that's like.
And like you said, there's somebrands that will sell in packs.
Like you get two smalls,you get two mediums, you
get two larges, whatever.
But again, you know, if, ifI'm starting a brand again, I
see as like the bare minimumto, to be size inclusive
and to make sure that we'reobviously catering to as many
sizes as possible at a time.

(45:52):
And now there is atrade off to that.
So for example, likeone of the biggest.
Comments that we get, likeof, of, uh, critique or
ask, I guess, is why don'tyou have more colors?
Why don't you have more colors?
A, Abyss, which is our black,sells hand and fist over
anything else, so it's hardto justify, A. B, from a

(46:16):
sustainability perspective, too,I don't love the idea of, like,
rolling out a bunch of colors.
C, if we are rolling out anew color, we have to roll it
out across nine to ten sizes.
Yeah.
Right.
So.
That's, that's ahuge expense for us.
, it's expensive tobe size inclusive.
So again, I would very muchthough, rather represent

(46:36):
lots of different sizesthan have a, you know, the
world's biggest selectionof color on my website.
That's the trade off

Speaker 2 (46:43):
and I think people don't think like that a lot of
businesses you can literally seeit Especially the I immediately
go to like the makeup industry.

Speaker 3 (46:50):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
They don't think that way They don't think
initially like I want tobe like color inclusive.
Yes I I don't want to beinclusive like it's just
it's just not the priorityThe priority is like I
want to have more stuff.
Yes And then be inclusive.
Yes.
It's an afterthought.
Yes, exactly.
And it's, I'm, I'm startingto notice like as just a

(47:12):
buyer, a consumer, but alsoas a small business owner,
I'm like, if there's anydirection I'm going to go in
as a business owner or as aconsumer, you got to be size
inclusive, like that has to beyour priority from the get go.

Yes.
No, I myself am even startingto kind of take note of what
brands Are size inclusiveversus aren't and you know
what like it would make mefeel bad Someone comes up to
me on the street and they'relike, oh, I like that top or
whatever Where'd you get it?
And I know that they don't haveplus size or something Like I
don't like I don't like the waythat that feels , so I think

(47:51):
being really mindful like Youknow much in the same way that
like a few years ago decidedI was gonna stop basically all
together buying leather newlike I won't buy any leather
goods new so like shoes bagsAnything leather I will not
buy it new It's kind of anew constitution there too.
Like, I don't necessarily wantto buy from a brand if they
don't have plus or petite,whatever that might be.

(48:13):
So I don't know, just moreboundaries to have Julia.
That's more, let's justadd more to the list.
Throw them in.
And I'm not saying like,I'm the most perfect moral
shopper of all time, butthere's just certain things
that, you know what I mean?
Like, I'm not saying that atall, but there's just certain
things that you as a shopper, asa consumer start to prioritize,
you know?

(48:33):
Yeah.

I felt that exact same way when, um, and
I even felt that way actuallywhen my, and it's, it's
mainly because my sister,my sister is a completely
different style than I do.
It's a lot more boho.
It's very likefloral, super cute.
, and she had asked me, she waslike, I have a wedding to go to.
Do you know whereI can find dresses?

(48:56):
And I blanked.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
I was like, I have no idea because she's maybe
either like same size as me ormaybe a size above And I know a
few brands that are I wouldn'tsay they're the greatest size
inclusive, especially becausethey're an Australian brand.
Yeah.
Um, but I shop a lot from Mekiand I fit MES Key's XL or Double

(49:19):
xl, but they go to three xl.
Okay, great.
So I'm like that sizeinclusive enough Yeah.
For me to still feel goodabout shopping with you,
although I do wish thatyou went to maybe a four xl

Mm-Hmm.

, Julia Salvia (49:32):
um.
So, but I also knew that theirclothing is not something
my sister would, would wear.
So I'm over here like, Ihave no idea who sells like
size inclusive clothingfor women for a wedding.
And I, I struggled likenaming something for her and I
actually, I felt like shit.

(49:55):
I, I was just going to saylike, and I'm, I'm sitting
here listening to you saythis and I'm like, how are
we dealing with this in 2024?
Like, how is this like,that should be the easiest.
Thing you do all weekis tell your sister
where to buy dresses.

Exactly.
You know what I mean?
I'm, like it's not it's likeit's not that serious But it
gets really serious when Ican't even name three of them
for her for her to go look at

Yeah, no, that is such now i'm going to be on
a mission julia to like find

I actually asked her if she bought if
she bought anything yet II think I ended up doing a
little bit of research andjust keeping like an eye out.
Off the top of my head,again, they're more in like
my style category, and Iwould consider my style like
it is a little bit more, um,risky, if you would say, like.
See, I was gonna say like

glam.

Thank you.
Yeah.
You're like, you're like

risky.

But I say that because I,
like, I take risks in theclothing that I wear, um,
and I like tighter clothing.
So, I like to show off my ass.
I just like the frilly dresses.
I just, it's not the firstthing I gravitate towards ever.

(51:07):
Like I'm kind of like in, in mybrain, it's either my boobs are
showing or my butt's showing.
You gotta have one.
Yeah.

Pick one.
No, I love it.
I love it.
No, I'm also a fanof tight clothing.
I, I love it.
I just find it isgenerally more becoming.
And I know people I could,I could, there's so much
I could say about likeclothing and fit and people.
tend to shy away, and I wouldsee this a lot when I worked in
bridal, they would shy away fromfitted because they're like, Oh,
it's going to show everything.

(51:35):
And I'm like, not firstof all, not necessarily
a B also be who cares.
Right.
And then C sometimes youwearing something a line or
baggier to conceal adds volume.
Right.
So when you think you're being,you know, more, I don't, I

(51:55):
don't know what the word is.
Like your mate, you're choosingsomething more flattering.
In reality, it's doingsomething optically that I
don't think they intended to.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Um, and so I actually think I,in general, think tight clothing
is generally more flattering.
I'll say

it.
No, I completely, I completely,utterly agree with you because
I can't tell you how manytimes the videos that go viral
on actually jumping back towhat you said about virality
for one width of a second.
The virality for just my socialmedia platform as, as a creator,
I actually get more hate onInstagram than I do on Tik TOK.

(52:34):
Oh yeah.
Like,

see, you're not the first person to say this.
This like blows mymind for some reason.
I, and I don't know why, butyou, you are not the first
person I've heard say this.
I find that really interesting.
I think

it's because I allow.
Instagram to sharemy post to Facebook.
And it'sthe Facebook comments that are
really, because they just allcome in as like one whole, like
it's just your comments, right?
It's not like you don'treally know exactly where
they're coming from, but I'mmaking a good assumption that
they're coming from Facebook.
And that's only because a lot ofthese people that are commenting

(53:08):
are much older and Facebook haskind of become that platform.
That's for the boomer.
Yes.
And the older generations.
Yes.
And my.
Clothing is not very becomingaccording to those generations.
Um, so it's the hate, it'swild because the hate really

(53:31):
just comes from either veryyoung girls or very mature.
I wouldn't even callthem mature, but very
like much older women.
And it's sad.
It's sad.
Because I'm like, my commentsare like, just this bolt
load of like, women hatingon another wom like, woman.

(53:52):
And Sam I don't,I don't like that.
It's horrible.
I'm like, they're like,you shouldn't wear this,
you should wear A line.
And I'm like, why?
So I can look like a bag?

I can't.
Like, the term A linein my head, like, I
just used it before andI'm like, ah, I can't.
I, I actually, going backto Comments, self love,
like body image stuff.
One thing I I've said internallya lot with onewith is, the
general body discussionin comments needs to stop.

(54:21):
It really does.
The J and I'm not talking aboutother people's bodies either.
I'm talking about when I openup my comments on Instagram
and I see people talking abouttheir own bodies, it needs to
stop because it perpetuates.
the general, um Discussionthat can go negative very

(54:42):
quickly But I get people likeI think what bothers me For
with for other women is i'llagain i'll get a comment.
I'm just giving an example andi'm making something up kind
of I'm, not this is like thisis probably an actual comment.
We've received but it'slike I could never wear
that Yes, I have x feature.

(55:04):
Okay.
I have x feature on my body.
I could never wear thatOkay, well, what about the
woman that's opening up thecomments that also has x
feature on her body and sheloves wearing that Right, like
that's her that's her jam.
That's her shit, right?
And now you're tearing downother women disguised as um
as as talking about yourself.

(55:25):
Do you see what i'm saying?
And again, i'm not perfect.
I am not the most, youknow, whatever Couth
speaker of all time, right?
However, this is somethingi've noticed You Moderating
an account if you will that isvery body centric and something
that I believe is negativeto to women in general is
the The the general body talkhas to stop body neutrality

(55:50):
is something I believe in Somuch so wholeheartedly and I
don't know it's just it'ssomething that's been on my
mind a lot and i've brought upin Internal onewith meetings
just like how what do we do?
Do we partner with the bodyneutrality organization?
Like how do we get people?
Talking about their bodiesdifferently in a way that
doesn't cut themselvesdown and cut other women

(56:12):
down too Yeah, and thoseare the comments that are

there.
They're like I I would neverwear that because Of x y and z
because I don't like this aboutmyself because it would show
this about myself Or I wishthere's people that say like I
wish my body looked like yours

See, like, that breaks my heart.
And it's like, I don't know.
There, just, there'ssomething about it.
And again, I don't have theperfect words for it right now.
I'm so very, you know, like,I'm very early in the, in
the process of understandingwhat needs to happen here.
But, and again, I'm not perfect.
The way I talk aboutmyself isn't perfect.
The way I talk about otherscertainly isn't perfect.

(56:52):
But this is somethingI have noticed an
absolute abundance of.
And I, I just thinkit's really damaging.
And, um.

I don't disagree at all.
I don't have a word forit either or how to kind
of stop it from happening.
I think in a lot of my videos,I, or just in general, like
I'd like to build communitiesof, of, you know, build a
whole community of women thatjust are very like minded and
wanting to love themselves more.
So having that conversationabout our bodies and knowing

(57:20):
that one, we're coming,we're all coming from, In a
science scientific way, likewe all have different genes.
We all have different bodycompositions We're all be
we're all raised completelydifferently from the next.
Yes So all of those factors comeinto play But I think that we
all in this moment right nowdeserve to love our bodies for

(57:41):
wherever they're at Whether weare in a healthy place with our
body whether that's mentallyor physically Or not we deserve
to love our bodies today And wedeserve to have clothing that
fits our body in the way that welike it to fit our body today.
Exactly.
Because whatever thatis isn't going to

change overnight.
Correct.
Correct.
And, and this is, again, anothermoment that I want to just
like bottle up you saying that.
This is something that Be havingbeen up and down in weight my
entire life in the last coupleyears dramatically So, I have
really learned to see my bodyas a vessel and something that
i'm so grateful for That Ican get up out of bed every

(58:21):
day and take two steps, right?
like yeah, and and and thethe privilege to dress that in
whatever form that might be atthat time is like incredible to
me and that's where i've shiftedmy focus so much to and Yeah,
just like seeing your body issomething that is so Amazing
regardless of if you are, youknow, like top to bottom so

(58:44):
happy the act of loving it isIs an art and it's something
that I think you speak sobeautifully about and I hope
to like One day have the wordsthat you do because for having
a brand that is so body centricsometimes I I feel like I fall
flat in the way that I actuallyexpress my thoughts, but You

(59:05):
Hearing you talk is so helpful.
It's generally so helpful tome and I know it's helping
a lot of other people too.
So thank you for that.

Thank you.
I appreciate that so much.
I, I think, if you want me toknow, if you want to know what
I think about onewith, I thinkthat your mission of providing
just, you know, Swimwear thatone is inclusive to, and, and
two, most importantly, likefits like no show underwear

(59:31):
because what's the most,like, what's the big thing?
What's the, you know, what arewe all excited about when it
comes to no show underwear?
One that it actuallystays in place, which your
swimwear stays in place.
It does not.
It does not roll, which Igot to say that pisses me
off so much because thenit's not, it's not seamless.

Yeah, correct.
Anymore.
I think you, you were the onethat actually was like, Oh, does
it roll like seamless undies do?
And, and that's actuallynot a feature about seamless
underwear that I personallyexperienced slash dislike.
There were other thingsabout seamless underwear
I obviously did not wantto incorporate in my line.
Yeah.
But I was like, and thenI heard, I started to hear
everyone talking about therolling and I'm like, Oh my God,

(01:00:13):
I hope ours doesn't do that.
And it won't, it won'tdo it on most people.
I can't say everyone'sanatomy is different.
I always like to say that.
But on most onewithwearers, it will not roll.

Julia Salvia (01:00:24):
As someone who does not have like a
perfect hourglass figure,it does not roll on me.
Amazing.
Which is kind of like,I feel like we got
the little muffin top.
Right.
And then we go back into likethe ass and the, the seamless
underwear would literally,like, I couldn't get it to ever

(01:00:46):
stay like on my actual hip.
It would just like rolldown into that one little
crease And then it wouldmake whatever I was wearing
look bad because what's the

Hayley Segar (01:00:58):
point?
What's the point?

It's not seamless anymore the

minute it rolls.
You know what you need totry julia I'm gonna i'm gonna
do a plug for a brand thatI would love to work with.
Um that you need totry stringy's Have
you heard of them?
No, I haven't They are right.
I'm writing themdown write it down.
It's at like stringy likewith a y with an s at the
end Um, they are like Itwas invented by a stylist, I

(01:01:22):
think, and they are no showunderwear fabric in the front.
And then the sides are basicallylike, you know, um, the annoying
little straps that come onlike, um, like a strapless
dress, like the clear, stretchy.
Yes.
Do you know whatI'm talking about?
It's that lingerie strapmaterial on the sides.

(01:01:42):
So it's like invisiblesides that just like hug
your body and then actualcoverage in the front.
I'm describing this terribly,but you will love them.
You will love them.

I'm going to look into that

for sure.
I did not describe this well.
Please do not hire meto pitch their company,
but they are incredible.

I think that's, I think that's the really like
the big thing about, aboutthe, about onewith two is that
it, because it's seamless,it, Just fits to your body in
the way that your body alreadyis, versus other swimwear that
is just, like you always talkabout, like it just digs, and

(01:02:22):
it gives you additional rolesthat you didn't already have,
so it makes you feel not sogood about yourself, because
genuinely it doesn't fit, and ifsomething doesn't fit your body,
something I truly have noticed,I don't know, I don't know the
term for it, but when you puton clothing that does not fit
your body, you, it is so muchmore difficult to love yourself.

(01:02:47):
Like, it's damaging.

Yeah.
It's damaging.

Aside from whatever the size actually is.

Mm hmm.

It, it is really, it is really damaging.
Yes.
Trying to, cause you're,you just feel squished.
I put on an outfit theother day that I bought
last year that definitelydid not fit me anymore.
And I'm sitting in it andI'm like, this does not fit.
I do not feel good.
I do not feel cute theway that I felt cute when
this did fit my body.
And for a moment I wasa little upset because

(01:03:18):
it doesn't fit anymore.
Obviously that means that like,I've gotten a little bit bigger.
And, for that, in thatmoment, I was like really
upset and I'm like, but it's.
It's, it really is not, likethe way that I feel right now
has to do with the fact thatthe clothes don't fit my body,
it doesn't have to do withthe fact that I, I got bigger.

Yes.
And, and it is temporary.
And, and that, that thoughtwill change when you remove that
item of clothing from your body.
Do you know what I mean?
And it did.
Yes.
And, and.
Trust me, I havemoments like that too.
Like, I tried, and I knowyou talked about this in
a podcast, and it's funnybecause I'm the same way,
like, you're an emotionaldresser, I remember you saying.
I am as well.
And it's like, if I put onsomething in the morning,

(01:04:02):
where I'm like, Oh my god,this is squeezing me, and
then I know that I'm signingmyself up all day for being
like, You're being squeezedlike, you know what I'm saying?
I'm like, nope.
I got it's got to come off It'sgot to come off and we just
have to start thinking like thatAnd I'm not saying that onewith
when you put your onewith onthat it's gonna fit perfectly
You might have to exchange it.

(01:04:22):
You might need a differentstyle, whatever But the ethos
of our brand obviously is tonot dig is to not squeeze is
to be onewith your body That'swhere the name come came from.

Yep

I probably should have led in with that
if we're talking about likeself love and stuff like that,
that the name of my brandcomes from wanting something
that feels onewith my body.
I love things that feellike it's working with
me, not against me.
And, uh, yeah, just everythingyou're saying, cosign.

I, I, and honestly, I'm sitting here,
I got invited to go on, myboyfriend's family friend
on their boat, Sonday.
And I have not tried on any ofmy swimwear since last year.
And like, after trying on thatoutfit, like, two days ago, that
didn't fit me, and realizingthat maybe, like, I got a little

(01:05:14):
bit bigger than, than last year,I'm like, like, what am I gonna
wear that I'm gonna feel, like,happy and, and confident in?
On the boat on sunday.
Well, if you need me toovernight someonewith to you
just follow me You're so sweet.
I actually it's funny becauseI literally the first thought
was like, yeah, there's probablyno other bikini I'm gonna try

(01:05:36):
to wear on sunday except forwhat I like my onewith bikinis.

That makes me feel really good but I I don't
I don't want you to be stressedever trying on your swim and
that's why i'm saying just Justshoot me a text if you need
me to overnight you something.
I will i'll go try i'll go trythem on like After we chat.
I know if you text meagain, I will hop to it
and make it I appreciateI love it so much.

(01:06:02):
No, this has been like sucha good I feel like there's so
many Topics that we could havecovered today, but I this is
just the beginning It's justthe beginning i'd love to
come on again and talk aboutlike wellness routines You
talked about magnesium and i'mstaring at my magnesium bottle
right now You Um, like I ever.
The best.
I feel like we could talkabout Best thing ever.

(01:06:24):
Like that in anotherepisode though.
Like doing our routinesand supplements and things
that tips and tricks.

Oh yeah.
If there's anything that haslike changed my life, especially
with like someone who's gotreal heavy anxiety cause
I'm just an over thinker Um,

magnesium.
So good.
I do the topical one fromSymbiotica to go to sleep.
Like I spray it

Ooh!

Yeah.
So I might, I have a top one.
I might,

I might try that.

Yes.
Um, no, it's so good.

I think to close out, I have a really
great question for likeother small business owners.
Um, what advice would yougive to other small business
owners in starting their ownbusiness or continuing with
the success of their business?

(01:07:12):
Um, in regards to self love orin regards to my favorite thing
that always is an umbrella ofself love, imposter syndrome.

Yeah.
Oh, the one thing I alwayssay is, and, and, and this
sounds so simple, but youhave to have to make sure that
whatever it is you're embarkingon continuing expanding,
please, please, please, pleasemake sure that you love it.

(01:07:43):
Like I'm talking.
To your core, in your,the marrow of your
bones, love this thing.
Like, I said, I saidyesterday on a call, and
this is so dramatic, I wouldtake a bullet for onewith.
I feel like in many ways Ihave taken bullets for onewith.
I love this so much I could cry.

(01:08:05):
That is what keeps me going.
If you don't have that, ifyou're sitting there being
like, Ooh, do I have that?
You don't have it.
And I hope to god everyonein your life Has something
that they feel that way aboutwhether it's a person whether
it's a child whether it'sa business But you have to
make sure that you love itbecause there have been times

(01:08:27):
for onewith that were so hardMentally physically it could
have like been Broken me if Ididn't love it as much as I did.
And then it like some, somethings did, you know, like did
really impact me in a negativeway, but the thing that keeps
you going is the love of it.
And I think, I think manyentrepreneurs will, you

(01:08:48):
know, be shaking theirheads and understand exactly
what I'm saying right now.
Like, I don't think thatthis is that unique.
I think it's a pretty commontrait of a lot of entrepreneurs,
but I think it's somethingthat needs to be really looked
at and felt in your votesthat this is like your thing.
Yep.
Hopefully that, that, that,it's very dramatic, but.

(01:09:10):
No, it's, it's exactly

like, I, I completely, utterly agree.
So much.
Like even as you were sayingit, I'm like getting like
slightly internally emotionalabout my own, like about
the Southland Archives.
I'm like, I really do lovethis and I would do anything

for it.
Anything.
Like anything for it.
You know, and, and,and that is just it.
And again, I see peoplewho are kind of half in,
half out, and listen, thereare times where I'm like.
I, I'm gonna be 50 percentin onewith today, you know,
like I need to be, I needto be doing Haley stuff.
Like, I'm not sayingit's like, constant, you

(01:09:46):
know, like, complete andutter, you know, whatever.
But, it has to be, like,basically your heartbeat.
Not to be dramatic.
It, like, the thing that youare embarking on has to be your
heartbeat, in a lot of ways.

It's like, it's kind of the same thing with
loving yourself, and having arelationship with someone else.
It's like, Um, I gave thisexample the other day when
someone asked me, like,how do I love myself today?
And I'm like, the way that youhave to look at it, the way
that you have to look at yourrelationship with everything,
your relationship with otherpeople, your relationship with

(01:10:21):
things, your relationship withyourself, the relationship
with your business, You needto understand that there
are, you, you love them.
You're choosing to love them,love that, or love this.
And you're making that choiceevery single day to do that.
But you're going to havedays where it's going to be
tougher to make that choiceand easier to make that choice.

(01:10:44):
Just like if you have asignificant other and you're
like, you're really annoyingme today and like, I love you,
but like, you're annoying me.
Or if, you know, when you are.
talking more directly aboutyourself, like you're going
to have days where you wake upand you're just like, I really
like, I'm struggling to lookat myself in the mirror and
love this body that I'm in.

(01:11:06):
And then there are other daysthat you're waking up and
you're like, yes, I love whatI'm looking at in the mirror.
And with your business,it's the exact same thing.
Today might be a really toughday because of X, Y, and
Z. And there might be a lotof easier days where you're
literally like have tears of joy

because you're like, I love this so much.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
And, and it's that riding ofthe wave, you know, like you
have to be willing to ridethat wave and know that the
bad days will pass, you know,um, that is so critical.
Um, but you have to, you haveto love what, like I said,

(01:11:44):
love what you're embarking onenough to be willing to ride
that inherent roller coasterof even just like you said,
like your ability to likelook in the mirror and Choose
to love yourself that day.
You know, it's just such, it'ssuch, it's such a ride, you
know, and yeah, again, I, I do,I do love onewith that much and

(01:12:07):
onewith has become an extensionof me and it's made me love
myself more, you know, it's ajourney through onewith and I'm
so grateful to onewith for that.
If that makes sense, punintended ride the wave right?
I know.
Sometimes I say things andI'm like, Oh, that is so
I'll be like, Oh my gosh.
Yes.
This, you know,whatever for one win.

(01:12:28):
Yeah.
It was so I'm like,that was so smooth.
It was so seamless.
And I'm like,

I love it.
Well, thank you Haley,so much for being here.
I appreciate you tothe moon and back.
This was such a lovelyconversation and I cannot wait.
To have you back and, andfor all of the things that
are to come for one width andto, to, to smooth sailing.

I love it.
And likewise, Julia, Ilove what you do always.
I, I love, like, even if Iwas not your friend, I love
consuming your content andI'm so grateful for what
you're putting out there.
Um, I drove into the citylast night and I Listen
to as many episodes as Icould because it just and
I learned so much from you.

(01:13:15):
Like, I just want to say thatI, I listened to a lot of, you
know, self development podcastsand because I'm so in the weeds
of it, there's very few things Ihaven't heard people say before.
And you, you actually putme on to things that I had
not thought about before.
And I'm so gratefulto you for that.
And again, just for what you do.
Create and put outthere in general.

(01:13:36):
So thank you.
I got little tears in my eyes.
Thanks.
Oh I'm serious, andI need to buy a 0.
3 millimeter pen.
Oh

Let me Let me tell you about these.
Wait, can I just see it?

Can I just see it?
I just want to seehow Oh, she is thin.
Oh my god.
I don't even

think this is a 0.
3. I think thismight be Hold on.
No, it's a 0.
5. But if you kind of ifyou get a point, honestly
Anything, anything under like 0.
5, 0. 3, like, it is, it's

life changing.
I, I firmly believeyou when you say that.
And that's why I need toadd it to my Amazon cart.
So thank you.
Influence.

As someone who was feeling all the imposter
syndrome syndromes today,really, I appreciate that so
much to the moon and back.
Like,

I please keep doing what you're doing.
The branding you've,you've always said I've
also, I can't talk.
The coffee's hitting.
I've always said this.
But like your voice is, isgenerally so pleasant to listen
to and the way you expressyourself is beautiful and
concise and, um, meaningful.
And I just, I really,and thoughtful, like in

(01:14:49):
the truest of senses.
I could go on and on, butplease keep doing this.
Um, you have a listener in meand you obviously have a friend
in me and thank you so much forhaving me and, and being you.

Thank you.
I appreciate you.
Maybe, maybe it's my,maybe it's my Jupiter and,
uh, Scorpio in the thirdhouse of communication.
I don't know,

not to be specific or anything, not to be

Julia Salv (01:15:15):
specific, but maybe.
Thank you.
I appreciate you.
Thank you so muchfor being here.
And thank you guys somuch for listening to
today's podcast episode.
I appreciate you tuning back.
Haley, please tell everybodywhere they can find onewith
and where they can find.
You and just all the thingsthat you want to share.

Absolutely.
You can buy onewithat onewithswim.
com and you can follow uson Instagram, Tik TOK, but
Instagram is like our mainthing at onewith swim.
So that's my plug.
I love

it.
Thank you so much.
I love you.
I appreciate you.
And I will see you guys notnext week, but the week after
12 o'clock Eastern time, Sunday.
Love you.
Bye.

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