in this moving episode, mattia castellano opens up about the lasting impact of her sister talia, whose legacy in the beauty world lives on years after her passing. from navigating grief to stepping into motherhood, mattia shares how self-love has been her anchor through it all and how makeup, once talia’s dream, remains a powerful connection between them. this is a story of resilience, healing, and honoring where you come from while becoming who you are.
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follow mattia's journey here
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mattia Castellano (00:00):
how old would Talia be today?
(00:03):
She would be 25.
Wow.
Turning 26 in August.
Julia Salvia (00:08):
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Do you still connect withher, like still talk to her
maybe like on a spirituallevel, level or however you
know, you might go about that?
Mattia Castellano (00:19):
I talked her in my head.
Okay.
Mostly at night.
Um, yeah.
You know, at the end of the day.
You know, when I'm, uh,thinking, overthinking in
bed like most people do, um,yeah, I talk to her and I
just tell her, you know, lookover me and mom, and Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Julia Salvia (00:38):
Do you think that she, now that she's
not here today, she has aninfluence on how you take
care of yourself and who youare and basically how you go
about your day-to-day life?
Mattia Cas (00:51):
Oh yeah, definitely.
Um.
Throughout my whole life, I, Ilooked up to my sister because
she, you know, she seemed likeshe had it all figured out.
She had was a very old soul.
Um, she always had wise sayingsfor people of all age and races
and religions and, um, that'show she became so captivating
(01:15):
on YouTube and captivatedeverybody's souls and, um.
I look up to her even stilltoday after she's passed and I,
I just look back of, you know,how many lessons she taught me
and still continues to teach me.
And, um, yeah, I'm verygrateful and thankful that
God put her in my life to be.
(01:36):
My sister.
Julia Salvia (01:37):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And what was yourfavorite saying of hers?
Like the one that sticks withyou that always comes back?
Mattia Castellano (01:43):
Um, obviously just keep swimming.
That was the main one.
Um, you know, I, I, when I'min bed at night, I, I think
to myself, just keep swimming.
Like, life's hard.
Yeah.
Life's so hard.
And, um, despite everythingmy sister was going through,
uh, having two cancers and.
(02:03):
Um, being told you had fourmonths to a year to live,
like she lived life tothe fullest and she really
did just keep swimming.
So I hate when people complainand, um, I think to myself,
like even, even when I startto complain a little bit,
I'm like, I shouldn't becomplaining because look
what she went through.
Yeah.
And she lived life tothe fullest and she
just kept swimming.
(02:24):
So that's why I tell myselflike, stop complaining.
Just keep swimming.
And you know, life, life lifeis hard, but you can do it.
Julia Salvia (02:30):
Yeah, it's like if you see someone that is
just really having like a,you and you were right there,
you were like the seat next toher, essentially right there.
Watching her live the last, youknow, couple of moments of her
life in complete joy and livingit to the best of her abilities
is like such a, a strength.
(02:52):
That you, I mean, how couldyou not take that with you?
I know.
And like every time you'relike, ah, like, screw this
person, like, on the road or,or this, that you're like, you
think of her and you're like,no, it's, it's really all gonna
be okay at the end of the day.
Yeah.
How are you today?
Mattia Castellano (03:07):
I'm good.
Um, like I said, life is hard.
You know, everyonegoes through something.
Um, I miss her.
Yeah.
I miss my sister a lot.
I think about her every day.
It's not a day that Idon't think about her.
Mm-hmm.
Um, me and my mom think, whatwould she be doing today?
Yeah.
You know, wouldshe, she probably be in LA
(03:30):
or something, you know, sohad her own makeup line, um,
helping people, obviouslystill helping people.
And, um, she definitelyinfluences how I
live my life now.
Yeah.
So,
Julia Salvia (03:41):
yeah.
And she's still helping peopletoday through Talia's legacy.
Yes.
Can you tell mea little bit more
Mattia Ca (03:47):
about Talia's legacy?
So me and my mom startedTalia's Legacy Children's
Cancer Foundation in 2015.
So it's been 10 years.
That's crazy.
Yes.
So, um, Talia alwayswanted to help other
children battling cancer.
Mm-hmm.
And she felt that why,how is this fair that
children get cancer?
She just.
(04:08):
She, she couldn't wrapher head around it.
Um, and she knew that therewere no cures and, and nothing
really out there in many,many years for children.
Mm-hmm.
And so me and my mom, afterTalia passed away, we started
gearing up to start thefoundation and to continue
Talia's legacy in helpingother children battling cancer.
(04:29):
So we started, uh, well,tally actually started
a glam Morris program.
Before she passed and shetook 10 or 11 girls to the
Mac makeup counter, and Macopened before the mall opened.
And just for these 11 girlsto have makeovers and to
pick out anything in thestore that they wanted.
(04:50):
Yeah.
Um, to take homeas far as makeup.
So.
Talia started, that'swhat she wanted to do.
And so that's one of ourmain programs and we've
been to over 25 children'shospitals in the country.
And I know you joined us inBoston Children's Hospital.
And, um, so you know alittle bit about what we do.
Yeah.
And, um, so we just make itlike a fun day for them to keep
(05:12):
their mind off of what they'regoing through in the hospital.
Chemo and
Julia Salvia (05:16):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (05:16):
Radiation and treatments and just have
girl time with them and make upand make it feel like normal.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Not
Julia Salvia (05:22):
that like.
I hate the, the connotationand like the definition of
like normal, but make themfeel like they're just,
they're just being a girl.
Exactly.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Or being like a personenjoying something that
they want to mm-hmm.
Enjoy.
Yeah.
I think when I was there inboss at, uh, Boston Children's
Hospital, like it was justso heartwarming to actually
be like, just to help,just change what, like what
(05:46):
someone's day looks like.
Mattia Castellano (05:48):
Mm-hmm.
Julia Salvia (05:48):
And.
Even it, even withthat little bit of, you
know, joy and happiness.
I, I think I was likeholding back tears the
whole time I was there.
Of course, yeah.
Of just like.
Mm-hmm.
Like just the, thewarmth in my heart.
I was like, I can't, yeah.
Like, this is so good,but like I'm gonna cry.
Like I need to step away.
Like, this is so great.
Like Yeah.
It was just like a mix.
(06:09):
Like I'm gettingemotional thing.
I know.
Me too.
Mattia Castellano (06:11):
You have to like hold it in for them.
Julia Salvia (06:13):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (06:13):
Yeah.
So, but yeah.
Yeah.
It's, it's anincredible experience.
Yeah.
It's
Julia Salvia (06:18):
an incredible thing that, that like you
and your mom are doing andupholding Talia's legacy.
Yeah.
To.
Bring that joy to all of thesekids in, in, in this way.
Thank you.
Um, and give them asense of normalcy.
Yeah, exactly.
That
Mattia Castellano (06:33):
was the goal.
Yeah, that's the goal.
Talia, um, you know, uh,she wanted children to
feel like they had someone.
There for them.
Yeah.
And they were being heard and,um, they weren't forgotten.
Yeah.
That was one thingthat she always said.
She doesn't want anyone to everfeel like they're forgotten
in the while they're goingthrough cancer treatments.
(06:54):
Yeah.
Because, you know, she lostsome friends or they wouldn't
come see her in the hospital.
So she, it was, it was nice.
For her to start somethingthat everyone felt included
and we could go to thehospitals and cheer them up.
Julia Salvia (07:06):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I, and making thatfeel more like a home.
'cause we're, we'redoing our makeup.
Usually in our home, right?
Mm-hmm.
We're making up, we're,we're putting our makeup on,
getting dressed and all that.
Mm-hmm.
And we're doing that at homeand I'm thinking, you know,
this is a place that they'respending so much time in.
Yeah.
It's like their second home.
Yeah.
Bringing these things there,that feel to make the space
(07:28):
more home, like mm-hmm.
And more comfortable, I, Ican't imagine, makes them
feel so much more welcomed.
Mm-hmm.
And, and less alone too,knowing that, you know.
There's other people, otherkids there that are also
getting their makeup done.
Exactly.
They have somethingto bond a bond about
Mattia Castellano (07:45):
too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You
Julia Salvia (07:46):
know?
Mattia Castellano (07:46):
Yeah.
It's fun.
It's a fun girl time.
And, um, we've done boys too.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Um, but yeah, it's just, itis a, it is having a sense
of, uh, community and, um,just keeping their mind off
of what they're going through.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (08:13):
Hello guys.
Welcome back to theSelf-Love Archives podcast.
I'm your self-love bestie.
My name is Julia and Ihave Mattia here with me.
Hi everyone.
Mattia and I met, um, oh mygosh, a really, really long
time ago through, um, Ipsy.
And through, uh, yourTalia's legacy and, and glam
(08:35):
wars and we Social media?
Yeah, social media.
We've known each other fora really long time and I'm
super, super excited to haveher here to tell us all about
her self-love journey, um,and how her sister Talia has.
Really influenced that and, andhow you know who you are today.
Yes.
I'm
Mattia Castellano (08:55):
excited
Julia Salvia (08:55):
to be
Mattia Castellano (08:56):
here.
Thank
Julia Salvia (08:56):
you for having me.
Of course.
Mattia C (08:57):
Thanks for being here.
Yes, thank you.
Julia Salvia (08:59):
I know that we were just talking about Talia
and how she influenced allof these, um, children at the
children's hospitals where Icame and, and did glam wars and
how you guys continue mm-hmm.
To uphold her legacy, doingglam wars and, and all that you
give back to childhood cancer.
Um.
There's something aboutputting on makeup, right?
(09:22):
And getting dressed upand, and doing our hair.
Mm-hmm.
That really helpsus love ourselves.
Yeah.
More.
Mm-hmm.
Do you see thatin like, the faces almost
like in comparison to like.
The, the, the child thatyou're doing like makeup on.
Oh, yeah.
And the difference thatit makes when mm-hmm.
You just make themfeel more beautiful.
(09:43):
Mm-hmm.
With makeup or withgetting dressed up.
Mattia Castellan (09:46):
Oh, of course.
Um, we just did, uh,two hospital proms, so
hospitals put on promsbecause a lot of the, yeah.
Children are immune compromised,so they can't attend their own.
Proms in, uh, high school.
So we just did, um, twohospital proms and, you know,
we probably did around 20 girls.
And just seeing themthe, they're not, they're
(10:08):
not used to, you know,they're used to sitting
in the hospital bed Yeah.
And, and getting chemo andtheir hair is falling out and
they're honestly depressed.
Yeah.
I mean, it's nota good situation.
And, um, just seeing themhave like their own, um.
They're having their hairdone and their makeup
and, and, and everything.
So, um, seeing them, it'slike a change in their
(10:31):
face and then their wholeaura changes, so, yeah.
Yeah, it's, it's reallyincredible to see.
Julia Salvia (10:37):
I love that.
Yeah.
And do you have somethingfor you that helps you
love yourself more?
Is, is getting dressedup and like, putting
makeup on part of that?
Yeah.
Obviously makeup.
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (10:49):
I love doing my makeup.
Yeah.
Um, honestly, before Talia.
Um, was diagnosed with cancer.
I really didn't wear makeup.
I really did.
She influenced it?
Definitely.
Oh, oh yeah.
Like even when I firststarted doing makeup,
I was horrible at it.
I was horrible.
And
Julia Salvia (11:05):
I look back at pictures and I'm like,
Julia, yeah, me too.
Mattia Caste (11:08):
I'm like, oh yeah.
Um.
Talia, I obviously learneda lot from, she taught
herself, she's self-taught.
Yeah.
And I, I'm self-taught too,but like Talia taught me Yeah.
Basically.
And I'm sure she taughtmillions of people around the
world, you know, on YouTube.
Yeah.
So, oh, yeah.
I'm very grateful forTalia getting me into
makeup because Yeah.
If it wasn't for her, Iprobably still wouldn't
(11:30):
really be makeup, but yeah.
Oh, I love, I love makeup.
I love, um, you know,getting dressed up and,
Julia Salvia (11:36):
mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I like, yeah.
I always add, it's like.
A lot of people look at it asthis, um, like cliche or this,
um, like, oh, you don't needmakeup, and I'm like, mm-hmm.
It's not about needing it.
Mm-hmm.
Or, you know, feeling like Ineed to cover something up.
Yeah.
It's really about how it makesyou feel about yourself and
(11:59):
like the creativity behind it.
And I think that's suchan important thing that
people completely miss.
Mm-hmm.
When it comes to makeupand getting dressed up
and doing our hair like.
I feel like it's not,it doesn't need to be
iterated, but like Yeah.
It is not for anyonebut ourselves.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Like it's for us and US only.
Mm-hmm.
Um.
Mattia Castellano (12:17):
And you said it perfectly.
Yeah.
It's
Julia Salvia (12:19):
like, and it gets me so mad when you has,
has anybody ever said to you,you're so pretty without makeup?
Like you don't need to wear it?
Oh, all the time.
And you're like,I'm kind of offended
Mattia Castellano (12:27):
all
Julia Salvia (12:29):
you mean this work that the I just did on my face.
Like, you don't like it.
I,
Mattia Castellano (12:32):
yeah.
Yeah.
It's not like I wearan excessive amount
of makeup, like.
Tally always said, you,you're accentuating what you
already have to work with.
You know, like if you wannafill in your eyebrows a
little bit, fill in youreyebrows a little bit.
And especially with cancerpatients, you know, they
don't, most of them don'thave hair, they don't have
eyebrows or eyelashes, sothey want to, you know,
(12:53):
feel confident and, and, um.
Have their features accentuated.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Julia Salvia (12:58):
And what a cool place to be in too, to create
what you want to create.
Like I know Talia would alwayslike paint her her head too.
Mm-hmm.
And it's, I think, such acreative, inspiring place
if you can allow for thatcreativity to come in.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And, um.
Create the kind of eyebrowthat like you would want.
(13:19):
Yeah.
Or, you know,put on the false lashes mm-hmm.
That you wanna have or see likea different version of yourself.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I thinkthat's something I always
loved about makeup too.
Like, I, especially comingfrom like a space of Halloween
makeup, like I loved,I love that being Yeah.
Like, I love being able tojust completely like mm-hmm.
Change my hair, likeput on a wig and like.
(13:40):
Do.
Oh, I'm gonna be likereally goth today.
Yeah.
Mattia Cas (13:43):
You're very creative
Julia Salvia (13:44):
back in the day and still are.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Um, it's, it's, I love thatlike creativity and inspiration
that like comes out of itand when we can have more
creativity and inspirationbeyond just makeup, we mm-hmm.
You know, can learn a lotmore about ourselves and
learn what we like too.
Yeah.
It's self-expression.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (14:01):
Talia's motto was, uh, makeup is my wig.
Yeah.
Because she did notlike wearing wigs.
Yeah.
They were itchy and shehonestly, she didn't feel
like she was being herselfbecause it was kind of
something fake that she put on.
And I get that a lot of, youknow, people who are not, don't
have hair, they wanna wear wigsand, and I understand that it
(14:22):
just wasn't for her, of course.
So she kind of usedmakeup as her outlet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she loved drawingon her head and Yeah.
And before she passed, she gotinto special effects makeup.
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
Yeah.
So she startedlearning that I'd say like
the last year of her life.
Mm-hmm.
And she just loveddoing like the scars.
Yeah.
And the blood.
Yeah.
And
Julia Salvia (14:41):
yeah,
Mattia Castellano (14:42):
she loved it.
Julia Salvia (14:43):
It's really cool learning that too.
And like watching, I, I mean,I'm not a scary movie person.
I don't know if you are.
I love scary movies.
Oh my gosh.
I can't.
But when you watch themand there's any like blood
or gore, do you be like.
I know that's fake.
I was like, they dida really good job.
Mattia Castellano (14:57):
That sounded just like Tally is
something she would say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She like,
Julia Salvia (15:00):
that's fake.
This is how they did it.
This is what they used.
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (15:03):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
She, she loved it.
She loved any form of beauty.
Julia Salvia (15:09):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (15:09):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (15:11):
How do you bring that beauty into your life?
Because you're a mom now?
I am a mom, yes.
Mattia Castellano (15:18):
Um, he's basically three years old.
Um, his name's Leo and Oh wow.
Having, having him was, um.
Going through the experienceof being pregnant, and I know
it's different for everyone.
Mm-hmm.
To me, my body was kindof in like a shock.
Yeah.
I, I know what to expect, butit's not until you're Yeah.
(15:41):
Pregnant and going throughit to where you're, you
really are like, wow.
You know what to
Julia Salvia (15:45):
expect for you.
Mattia Castellano (15:47):
Yes.
'cause everyone's different.
Yeah, exactly.
And, um, I honestly,I was in a sh.
A state of shock forprobably like a year, a
year and a half body-wise.
Mm-hmm.
Um, learning tolove myself again.
Yeah.
Uh, emotions areeverywhere and yeah.
I mean, having, havinga child is a blessing.
Yeah.
And, um.
(16:08):
But you, it's a lot of, it'sa lot of work within yourself,
not only just being a mom,but within yourself and having
to, to, um, go through allthose emotions and, and loving
yourself and your body again.
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (16:20):
It's, there's such, so much change.
It's like, it's a lot ofchange, body change, mental
change, emotional change.
Yeah.
And your day to day changesas well, because you had
Mattia Castellano (16:29):
Yeah.
Everything
Julia Salvia (16:30):
somewhat to take care of.
Mattia Castellano (16:31):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (16:32):
It was everything.
And
Mattia Castellano (16:33):
like I said, I was in a state of shock.
It was like, yeah.
Yeah.
Um, a lot.
Julia Salvia (16:39):
What do you think was the hardest thing in
becoming a mom in regards tolike your, like loving yourself
and your self-love journey?
I'm sure there were somany stages of it too.
Bring me through those,that, those stages.
Mattia Castellano (16:52):
Um, definitely learning to adjust
how you live your life.
You're not living for oneperson anymore, you're
living for your child too.
Yeah.
So everything.
That you think about, normallyyou're thinking about in
a sense of what is bestfor your child, you know?
(17:14):
Yeah.
It's not just what'sbest for you anymore.
Exactly.
It's a total differentmindset and thoughts process.
Mm-hmm.
So I think that was.
That is definitely difficult.
It's also an instinct.
Mm-hmm.
Your, um, your motherinstinct mm-hmm.
Kicks in and it's like,wow, I, I have this.
Did it like switch?
Was it like a switch?
(17:34):
Yeah.
All of a sudden?
Yes.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's really weird.
Really weird.
Um, it's a journey.
Yeah, definitely.
Being a mom,
Julia Salvia (17:43):
what do you do as a mom, like day
to day that is for you?
Because I'm really big on.
Your cup has to be filled inorder to give it to others.
Oh, yeah.
And really the only thingsthat kind of come in the way of
that, that are priority maybebefore you, before you mm-hmm.
Is pets and kids.
(18:04):
Yeah.
Like ba kids and babies.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Anyone else?
Your cup needs to be full beforeyou give it to anyone else.
Yeah.
Um, but I think it couldbe like, you know, halfway.
Yeah, of course.
Like how a lot of moms wakeup before you know their
babies, their kids wake up.
Really just focusing on, onmoms here 'cause you're a mom.
Mm-hmm.
But they usually wake up, youknow, a couple hours so they
can have that time to yourself.
Yeah.
What does thatlook like for you?
Mattia Castellano (18:27):
Um, so I do not do the hour or two wake up
before because I need my sleep.
Yep.
So I wake up like 6 45.
Mm-hmm.
Seven.
It's just so early.
Yeah.
But some moms wake up at like.
Five and do thelike oh my goodness.
Meditation and said,yeah, that's not me.
I need to sleep.
Yep.
I look at it like I have to keepdoing what I was doing before
(18:50):
I got pregnant to keep myselfin check and, and yeah, like
some sorts, sort of normalcyand, and to keep myself sane.
And, um, so I still go outwith my friends when I can and
when I have time and, um, I.
Like to do littlemini trips when I can.
I sometimes bring myson, sometimes I don't.
(19:11):
And just keeping some sortof normalcy that I had before
I was a mom into my life.
And your life does change,but it doesn't have to
change super drastically.
Yeah.
You know, youdon't have to, you.
You're still you.
Yeah.
You're still you.
And, and I know there'ssome people out there
whose life revolves aroundtheir kids and that's okay.
(19:32):
And um, if you want itto be that way, if you
want it to be that way.
Exactly.
And I'm not saying my lifedoesn't revolve around my son.
Yeah.
'cause it does.
But I still want to keep.
Some sort of normalcy.
So yeah, of course she'lldo a lot of the same things.
I I used to do
Julia Salvia (19:47):
and you should.
'cause you don't wanna loselike, the identity of like,
who Mattia is, is, you know?
Yeah.
Like, you're not just a mom.
Yeah.
And you're not just a sister.
Exactly.
You don't, you know, and, andI think a, a lot of people
might relate that to you now.
Like, now that you are a mom,you're like, well, you're a mom.
You are like, yeah, but I'malso, I'm also everything
Mattia Castellano (20:05):
else too.
Yeah.
And did you
Julia Salvia (20:06):
feel that when, um.
With Talia, like when shepassed, like do you feel like
you were just Talia's sister?
Mattia Castellano (20:13):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (20:14):
In the same way that you're just Leo's mom.
Mattia Castellano (20:16):
Yeah.
In, in a sense.
Yeah.
I think people put like,you know, labels on people
or like, I think people
Julia Salvi (20:22):
really like labels.
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (20:24):
Like to think about people certain.
Just like, oh, they're,they're, you know, just
this one thing or something.
So yeah, I did, Idid feel like that.
And that was always like, peoplewould come up to me and they're
like, uh, do you feel likeyou're living in Talia's shadow?
Because, you know,Talia was the center of
attention the whole time.
Yeah.
And that was her personality.
And I am not as much like that.
(20:47):
Yeah.
She was a Leo andthat's what she likes.
And so I, and that's a Leo.
Yeah.
And, um, I just, I was finewith being in the background.
Yeah.
So that was, that'sjust my personality.
Yeah.
But, um, yeah, I was fine withTally having the spotlight.
Julia Salvia (21:04):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (21:04):
And that's what, that's
what she deserved too.
Yeah.
During the
Julia Salvia (21:07):
time.
Yeah.
And so who is Mattia?
Mattia Castellano (21:11):
Oh.
Julia Salvia (21:13):
So if you are, how would you describe yourself?
And we'll do like three words,like how would you describe who
you are without describing whoyou are for Leo and who you.
Were with Talia.
Mattia Castellano (21:26):
Mm-hmm.
Um, I think I'm verycompassionate, very
compassionate person.
Mm-hmm.
I feel everybody else'semotions and I always wanna make
everybody else feel comfortable,whether I'm comfortable or not.
Yeah.
And that kind of, um,makes it seem like, oh,
I put other people'sfeelings first above mine.
(21:48):
And in a sense I kind of do.
Yeah.
I've always been like that.
Um, so I guesscompassionate, um.
What else?
What do you thinkabout me, Julia?
Um,
Julia Salvia (22:00):
it's.
I would say strength.
You're very strong.
Strong.
Strong.
Okay.
Strong to be to, yeah.
To be in this place thatyou're in today, Uhhuh.
To be a mom, I thinkis a strength in and
all in and of itself.
Mm-hmm.
Like that is astrength for sure.
And to uphold a legacy ofsomeone who you cared about so
(22:23):
much, that is also a strength.
Yeah.
And to be sitting here today.
Sharing that story and tobe who you are without, and
be mattia outside of, youknow, being a mom mm-hmm.
And being a sister.
Mm-hmm.
Like that is a strength.
That's to still show up as you
Mattia Castellano (22:42):
Yeah.
It's hard.
Julia Salvia (22:44):
Of course.
Oh my gosh.
Definitely is hard.
Sweet.
Of course.
Sweet.
Mattia Castellano (22:47):
Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
It's hard, I don't know, it'shard to describe because like,
I still struggle with it too.
Like, what do Ilove about myself?
You know?
I don't know.
I think I've been throughso much in my life that
there's like always somekind of mental blocks.
Yeah.
Still going on,
Julia Salvia (23:05):
so.
Mattia Castellano (23:05):
Mm-hmm.
It's kind of hard to
Julia Salvia (23:06):
describe myself.
They, you don't get like amoment to really like be.
Just you.
Yeah.
Because there's so manyother things that you
are giving towards.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
You said it, you
Mattia Castellan (23:18):
said it right?
Julia Salvia (23:19):
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(24:04):
Compassionate, strong.
Mattia Castellano (24:07):
I love how I turned the question
Julia Salvia (24:09):
around you.
I know you turn, you'returning the question on me now.
OIA is compassionate, strong.
I mean, I told youbeautiful, intelligent, yes.
Thank you.
The easy, the easiestthings to take from you.
Yeah.
Where justtaking that, knowing that
you're very compassionateand strong, where do you
see that taking you in, youknow, your self-love journey?
(24:29):
Because here we, I, I believein as the self of archives,
we're never gonna get to thisplace of loving ourselves
because every day we wakeup and we are different.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
We go through so many differentchanges, um, in our bodies,
in our minds, in our life, andwe need to relearn how to love
ourselves every single day.
Oh, yeah.
(24:49):
Yeah.
It's not like a, a point thatwe'll ever really get to.
Mm-hmm.
But we will, you know, wake up.
Each day and, and hopefullyknow that we love ourselves more
than we did yesterday, and, andrealize how many things we've
gone through and done and, andlove ourselves through those
changes that have happened.
So kind of
Mattia Castellano (25:08):
like you have
Julia Salvia (25:09):
to remind yourself.
Mattia Castellano (25:10):
Yeah.
Right.
Every, every
Julia Salvia (25:11):
morning, every day you wake up.
Yeah.
To remind yourself.
It's a choice.
Mattia Castellano (25:14):
Yeah.
It is a choice.
Julia Salvia (25:16):
It's a choice to to know.
You know, to learn more aboutwho you are and to understand
who you are and say, I'mchoosing to love all of that.
What are, what are thingsactually that you can do
better to love yourself?
Mattia C (25:33):
Uh, definitely be more confident, I guess.
Um.
Because I know, I know.
I am compassionate.
I know I am strong.
And I guess verbalizing it Yeah.
To, to myself isthe most important.
But other to others too, youknow, I could, I couldn't
even think of it right now.
Yeah.
But, um, I think remindingmyself that every morning.
(25:57):
Like talking tomyself in the mirror.
I know that's likea thing, right?
Yeah.
You're supposed to say wordsof affirmation to yourself.
Mm-hmm.
I don't do that.
I know sometimes like
Julia Salvia (26:04):
it's, I know sometimes it's weird for people
to like look at themselves inthe mirror and be like, I love
you, but it is gonna be weird.
Mm-hmm.
At first, and I thinkit's really important
to actually hear it.
And hear it be said.
Yeah.
Especially from you.
But I think that if it isweird at first and it's maybe
uncomfortable or there's adifferent mode of communication
that works better for you, likerecording yourself or recording
(26:28):
a video of yourself or writingit down on paper or writing
it down like in your notes.
Yes.
And committing to actuallycome back and look at it.
Mm-hmm.
Or come back and listen to it.
Mm-hmm.
I think also makesa difference too.
Yeah.
Because I know for me, I.
Journaling is really helpful forme and my mode of journaling.
That always sticks with me.
That really helps me actuallyget the words, the words down,
(26:53):
or whatever my thoughts are,that that actually helps me.
Mm-hmm.
If I write it on paper.
Mattia Castellano (26:58):
Yeah.
Same.
Julia Salvia (26:59):
If I write it in my notes, it's more of
just like a, a brain dump.
But it doesn't help mein the way that it helps
me to journal on paper.
Mattia Castellano (27:07):
Okay.
So you journal with apen or pencil on paper?
Yes.
Okay.
See, I'm, I put it inmy notes on my phone.
Yeah, do so youwould recommend me?
I do both.
Yeah.
Do Okay.
Julia Salvia (27:16):
I do both.
It, it's reallywhatever works for you.
But I also do videojournaling too.
It's just, it dependson what it is.
Okay.
If I feel like I needto share a message with
myself, I'll video it.
Okay.
Yeah.
And sometimes I'llgo back to it.
Sometimes I will.
I'll accidentally go back to it.
And it's really helpfulto see like where you've,
(27:37):
where you've come from and,and what you were, yeah.
What, what stage of lifeyou were in in that moment.
Mm-hmm.
And to look backand be like, wow.
Look who I was thenand look who I am now.
Mm-hmm.
And look at the thingsthat I might have been.
Usually I'm very upset whenI'm doing these video journals.
I would be too, you're likebawling your eyes out, like
on, on these video journalsbeing like, and you're looking
(27:58):
back and it's like, girl.
Yeah.
What are you crying for?
Yeah.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Yeah.
It's like it tell my mentalityof like, just keep swimming.
Yeah.
Like you really likeeverything is gonna be okay.
Mattia Castellano (28:08):
That's good advice though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So journaling and then video.
Yeah.
Recording.
It's not gonna be seenby anyone, but it's for
yourself to like get it out.
Yeah,
Julia Salvia (28:18):
exactly.
And if, um, there's somany different modes of
like, creativity thatdo that for us mm-hmm.
That are self-expression, likemakeup, um, and finding the time
and making the time to do thoseoften and do them in a way that.
Is comfortable
Mattia Castellano (28:36):
mm-hmm.
Julia Salvia (28:36):
For you and, and makes you feel
confident enough to do them.
Mattia Castellano (28:40):
Mm-hmm.
Julia Salvia (28:41):
And understanding of how you like to do them
makes all the difference.
Yeah.
Like how I video journalwhen I need to share a
message with myself or feelas though I'm talking to
someone, I will journal bywriting down when I feel a
little bit more, um, poetic.
Like, uh, I wannawrite a letter to.
(29:01):
And, and knowing that I'm nevergonna send it to them, like a
letter to someone that has upsetme or a letter to, um, maybe a
wider like audience of people.
Mm-hmm.
Like I'll actuallylike write it down.
And I'll come back.
That, that I usually comeback to when I write it down.
And not being so hard onyourself with what you're
writing, just write.
Yeah.
Um, same thingwith like a notes app or
like in my phone, usuallyI am dating and I'm writing
(29:26):
in my phone when or talk, Iactually talk into my phone.
I don't even write init or type in it 'cause
texting really annoys me.
Mm-hmm.
But, but I'll talk into it.
Um, if I'm thinking of somethingon my walk that I don't wanna
forget, or if there's somethingthat I need to work through
with myself that I don'twanna forget, it's all of
these different modes of, um,basically like help mm-hmm.
(29:50):
For you.
Mm-hmm.
To learn yourself.
To understand yourself and to.
Not feel overwhelmed.
Yeah.
Because I feel like our life canbe so overwhelming and that can
cloud our minds with actuallydeciding to choose who we are.
'cause if we know who we areand we're making the room to
know who we are, and we'regetting everything that's like.
(30:11):
Clouding our minds oreverything that's just
like filling up our heads.
I always think ofSpongeBob running around
with all the files.
Yeah.
Like all the differentSpongeBobs and they're
throwing all the files around.
Yeah.
I always think of that like, ifwe're making the room to have,
um, the ability to learn whatall those files are, we can,
you know, love ourselves more.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It's true.
Yeah.
Yeah, so do that.
(30:32):
It takes a lot of work.
Yep, it does.
It's a lot of self love work.
It does, yeah.
A lot of, a lot ofchoosing ourselves.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And I think it's kind of likehow we need to fill up, up our
cup in order to give to others.
We need to choose ourselvesin order to choose others.
Yeah.
Because if we are not.
Whole, if we're not lovingwho we are, how can we give
(30:54):
the truest and best form ofourselves to other people?
How can we help other people?
Others?
Yeah.
Even another great exampleof that is like on a plane,
they always tell you togive your oxygen when,
when the oxygen mask, Godforbid, like come down.
You need to give that toyourself first, because if
you don't have oxygen tobreathe, how are you gonna
help the person next to you?
(31:14):
Mm-hmm.
How are you gonna help you knowthe person across from you?
You can't.
Because you are not breathing.
That's true.
It's very powerful.
It is.
That
Mattia Castel (31:21):
is very powerful.
That's a good analogy.
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (31:23):
Thanks.
Mattia Castellano (31:24):
Yeah.
Very good.
Julia Salvia (31:25):
Yeah.
Um, so I'm comingout with a card deck.
Yes.
It's awesome.
And I wanna ask youone of those questions.
Okay.
Thank you.
Um, okay, so I'vegot my laptop here.
Now the card deck has threedifferent depths, and the
idea of the depths is askingyourself, how deep do you
wanna go with yourself today?
So the questions essentially geta little bit deeper or harder.
(31:46):
We have deep,deeper, and deepest.
So how deep wouldyou like to go today?
Mattia Castellano (31:52):
Ooh.
Deep, deeper, or deepest?
We, let's do the middle.
Okay.
Deeper.
Deeper?
Yeah.
Okay.
Julia Salvia (31:58):
Now pick a number.
There's 33 cards ineach category for a
total of 100 cards.
So there's one card, areflection card that you start
and end the whole deck with.
Okay?
But we're gonna choose onecard from the deeper category.
Okay?
There's 33 of them.
So pick a number one through 33.
Mattia Castella (32:16):
Oh, mom, Sarah.
Number is three.
Let,
Julia Salvia (32:18):
let's do 33.
Mattia Castella (32:19):
Let's do three.
Okay.
Three or 33.
What do you think we should do?
Julia Salvia (32:23):
Oh, that's you.
Mattia Cast (32:23):
Uh, let's do three.
Julia Salvia (32:24):
Okay.
In what ways?
Have you lost parts ofyourself trying to belong?
Mattia Castellano (32:32):
Oh, wow.
Mm-hmm.
Um, this is a deep question,so I need to think about this.
Mm-hmm.
Um,
Julia Salvia (32:43):
as you're thinking, one of the biggest
things with this carddeck is really to choose
the answer that first.
Comes to you.
Okay.
Of course, most of themare gonna stump you at
first because they're allquestions to stump you.
Mm-hmm.
They're all questions toreally get you thinking.
Yeah.
To get you thinking, tobring out that, you know,
that deeper part of you.
(33:04):
Mm-hmm.
And sometimes we mightnot know the actual
answer to these questions.
So one of the biggest thingsin the direction, so to
speak, on how to actuallyuse this card deck is to
continue to ask yourself why.
When you do find somesort of an answer.
So if I tell you that Idon't like lilies, well,
why don't you like lilies?
(33:24):
Well, I just, I don't,I don't like them.
Mm-hmm.
Well, why don't you like them?
Mm-hmm.
I don't like the smell of them.
Okay.
Why don't you likethe smell of them?
Well, it reminds me of funerals.
Well, why does itremind you of funerals?
Mm-hmm.
Well, when I was reallyyoung, my, both my grand
grandparents died a coupleyears apart from each other,
but I was super young.
I was like in my.
(33:45):
Maybe like early, earlyteens, like around 10 ish.
Mm-hmm.
And all I really rememberedfrom their wakes was
the smell of lilies.
And I didn't put thattogether until I was older
and like, you know, peoplewould buy me flowers and
I'm like, they smell so bad.
Mm-hmm.
I'm like, I hate them.
And then I finally likepinpointed that it was a lily
(34:06):
that I didn't like becauseit was the smell of the lily.
So now I love flowers.
My whole brand isbuilt on flowers.
Yeah.
But it's lilies that Idon't, I love how they're
beautiful, but I don't lovethe smell of lilies because
of where it brings me back.
So you see how you can ask sucha simple question and then keep
asking yourself why to, um,have yourself go deeper with
(34:29):
who you are to really understandsomething about yourself.
Even if it just is as simpleas like, I don't, I don't
like, I don't like lilies.
Yeah.
You know?
Wow.
Mattia Castellano (34:37):
Yeah.
That brought you back Yeah.
To your childhood.
Yeah.
A lot of.
A lot of trauma and Yeah.
Stems from childhood, so,
Julia Salvia (34:45):
and they're not all gonna go as deep as that.
Yeah.
Some of them are gonna be alittle bit more, um, surface
level, so to speak, but they'remeant, the questions are
meant to have you go deeper,whether it's deep, deeper,
or deepest with yourself.
Um, in what ways have youlost parts of yourself
trying to belong?
Mattia Castellano (35:05):
I guess there's always that
part of you that feels.
Like, sometimes you'rebeing fake in order to fit
in, but you're not trulybeing like who you are.
Yeah.
And I, and I guess going backto what I said about, you
know, I let Talia have thespotlight, you know, I, I
didn't let her, that's justher personality and, and I was
(35:27):
okay taking the back burner.
Maybe there's not like awhole, like there's some truth
in that, but maybe not as.
S much as I, maybe I'm justused to saying it like that.
Yeah.
And maybe there's somethingdeeper I need to dive into.
Maybe I, I do let, like I said,I let other people's kind of
feelings and go above, likeI think of other people more
(35:50):
than I think about myself.
Like I think of, yeah,I want you to be okay
rather than me to be okay.
'cause I put others before me.
Yeah.
And I do that a lot and I know Ido that and maybe, I don't know,
I do that as much as I. ThinkI do and it ends up hurting me.
Julia Salvia (36:07):
Yeah.
And maybe there's like this astage, so to speak, like, like
a metaphor of a stage thatyou let people walk it or get
onto onto it before you do.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, you havesomething more important to say.
Let me let you say that.
Say what you have to sayfirst and then I'll say mine.
Yeah.
But then you're in lineto get onto that stage
(36:28):
and you just keep lettingpeople cut in front of you.
Mattia Castellano (36:30):
Mm-hmm.
And Yeah.
You said it great.
Yeah.
And um, also, I know, like yousaid, you, you think I'm strong
and I know that I am strong.
Yeah.
And maybeI think that I am stronger
than those certain people,so I'm like, you can go yeah.
Ahead.
I'll put your emotions ahead.
'cause I know you needit more than I do.
Mm-hmm.
(36:51):
And I don't, I, I just alwaysthought like that.
I don't know if it's justlike who I am or like I, it
is like a learn thing or I,I need to be less of that.
I don't know.
You just need to be
Julia Salvia (37:01):
exactly who, who you are.
But know that even thoughthere might be people around
you that are going throughharder things, what you're
going through matters to.
Mm-hmm.
Because there's always gonnabe someone that's going
through something better.
Mm-hmm.
Something worse.
Mm-hmm.
Something harder,something emotionally
harder, physically harder.
(37:22):
There's always someonethat's gonna be going
through something that.
In someone's perspective mightbe harder or less hard than
what you're going through.
Yeah.
So validating what you aregoing through and how you are
feeling about something and alsomaking sure to give yourself the
spotlight to be able to say thatand speak your truth, whatever
it may be, is important too.
(37:44):
Yeah.
And not always lettingpeople cut the line.
Mattia Castellano (37:46):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, and I'm big onnot being selfish.
Like I, I think I'm one ofthe least selfish people
in the world, but yeah.
I know there's a lot of peoplethat are selfish out there
and that they need that kindof just to, they need to be
selfish to just function,I guess, through life.
And I'm just not like that.
So I, I, I think that's one ofthe reasons why I put others
(38:07):
before my feelings before.
Julia Salvia (38:10):
But
Mattia Castellano (38:10):
that doesn't make you selfish.
Julia Salvia (38:12):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (38:13):
No, no.
It doesn't make me selfish.
Yeah, it doesn't.
I'm saying maybe I need tobe a little bit more selfish.
Julia Salvia (38:17):
Well, yeah, but I don't even think it's selfish.
Uh, like putting yourself.
First or making yourselfa priority at all?
Yeah, because I think, um, a lotof people, even like, I think
they changed the definition ofself-love in the dictionary.
'cause it used to say like,conceited and like selfish
and things like that.
Oh wow.
Really just caringabout yourself.
(38:37):
Mm-hmm.
When in actuality, like, it kindof goes back to the whole thing.
Well, if I don't care about me,then I can't care about you.
Mm-hmm.
So it's not selfishtaking care of me.
It's selfish when Iconstantly, you know.
Only care about me anddon't care about you,
but you're compassionate.
So that wouldn't be, you know,your compassionate person.
(39:00):
That wouldn't evenreally be a thing.
Mattia (39:01):
Yeah, no, I'm, you would
Julia Salvia (39:02):
still care about other people's feelings
or how something that you domakes you, makes them feel.
Mm-hmm.
I think that people who arenot selfish, who are more
selfless are the people whoactually care what other people.
You know how how somethingthey would do would
make other people feel.
Yeah.
But that doesn't mean thatyou have to not do it.
Mattia Castellano (39:25):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (39:25):
That's me.
You just described me.
We figured out who you'retoday on the podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, it's not selfishto care for you.
Yeah.
And I think that's somethingto, that's something so
important that I hopea lot of people take.
Yeah.
I need to take, take, I needto take that away from hope.
You take it this, takeit away from this.
Yes.
(39:45):
I hope other peopletake it away from this.
Like, it's not selfish tocare for you, it's, it's
self-love to care for you.
Mm-hmm.
I need to do more of that.
Of course.
Thanks for being here.
I appreciate, thankyou so much for
Mattia Castellano (39:56):
having me.
This was a lot offun and I'm so glad.
Yeah.
I'm glad we got to talk onthe first leg on the tour.
Yeah.
Glad we got to touch ona bunch of different.
Subjects.
Yeah, me
Julia Salvia (40:07):
too.
Thank you TI reallyappreciate you being here.
It's Julia.
Thank you.
And, and thank you guys so muchfor tuning in to the podcast.
Um, I'll see you next weekor two weeks from now for
the next episode on theSelf of Archives of Podcast.
Mattia Castellano (40:23):
Thank.
Thank you.
Bye
Julia Salvia (40:25):
bye.
how old would Talia be today?
(00:03):
She would be 25.
Wow.
Turning 26 in August.
Julia Salvia (00:08):
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Do you still connect withher, like still talk to her
maybe like on a spirituallevel, level or however you
know, you might go about that?
Mattia Castellano (00:19):
I talked her in my head.
Okay.
Mostly at night.
Um, yeah.
You know, at the end of the day.
You know, when I'm, uh,thinking, overthinking in
bed like most people do, um,yeah, I talk to her and I
just tell her, you know, lookover me and mom, and Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Julia Salvia (00:38):
Do you think that she, now that she's
not here today, she has aninfluence on how you take
care of yourself and who youare and basically how you go
about your day-to-day life?
Mattia Cas (00:51):
Oh yeah, definitely.
Um.
Throughout my whole life, I, Ilooked up to my sister because
she, you know, she seemed likeshe had it all figured out.
She had was a very old soul.
Um, she always had wise sayingsfor people of all age and races
and religions and, um, that'show she became so captivating
(01:15):
on YouTube and captivatedeverybody's souls and, um.
I look up to her even stilltoday after she's passed and I,
I just look back of, you know,how many lessons she taught me
and still continues to teach me.
And, um, yeah, I'm verygrateful and thankful that
God put her in my life to be.
(01:36):
My sister.
Julia Salvia (01:37):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And what was yourfavorite saying of hers?
Like the one that sticks withyou that always comes back?
Mattia Castellano (01:43):
Um, obviously just keep swimming.
That was the main one.
Um, you know, I, I, when I'min bed at night, I, I think
to myself, just keep swimming.
Like, life's hard.
Yeah.
Life's so hard.
And, um, despite everythingmy sister was going through,
uh, having two cancers and.
(02:03):
Um, being told you had fourmonths to a year to live,
like she lived life tothe fullest and she really
did just keep swimming.
So I hate when people complainand, um, I think to myself,
like even, even when I startto complain a little bit,
I'm like, I shouldn't becomplaining because look
what she went through.
Yeah.
And she lived life tothe fullest and she
just kept swimming.
(02:24):
So that's why I tell myselflike, stop complaining.
Just keep swimming.
And you know, life, life lifeis hard, but you can do it.
Julia Salvia (02:30):
Yeah, it's like if you see someone that is
just really having like a,you and you were right there,
you were like the seat next toher, essentially right there.
Watching her live the last, youknow, couple of moments of her
life in complete joy and livingit to the best of her abilities
is like such a, a strength.
(02:52):
That you, I mean, how couldyou not take that with you?
I know.
And like every time you'relike, ah, like, screw this
person, like, on the road or,or this, that you're like, you
think of her and you're like,no, it's, it's really all gonna
be okay at the end of the day.
Yeah.
How are you today?
Mattia Castellano (03:07):
I'm good.
Um, like I said, life is hard.
You know, everyonegoes through something.
Um, I miss her.
Yeah.
I miss my sister a lot.
I think about her every day.
It's not a day that Idon't think about her.
Mm-hmm.
Um, me and my mom think, whatwould she be doing today?
Yeah.
You know, wouldshe, she probably be in LA
(03:30):
or something, you know, sohad her own makeup line, um,
helping people, obviouslystill helping people.
And, um, she definitelyinfluences how I
live my life now.
Yeah.
So,
Julia Salvia (03:41):
yeah.
And she's still helping peopletoday through Talia's legacy.
Yes.
Can you tell mea little bit more
Mattia Ca (03:47):
about Talia's legacy?
So me and my mom startedTalia's Legacy Children's
Cancer Foundation in 2015.
So it's been 10 years.
That's crazy.
Yes.
So, um, Talia alwayswanted to help other
children battling cancer.
Mm-hmm.
And she felt that why,how is this fair that
children get cancer?
She just.
(04:08):
She, she couldn't wrapher head around it.
Um, and she knew that therewere no cures and, and nothing
really out there in many,many years for children.
Mm-hmm.
And so me and my mom, afterTalia passed away, we started
gearing up to start thefoundation and to continue
Talia's legacy in helpingother children battling cancer.
(04:29):
So we started, uh, well,tally actually started
a glam Morris program.
Before she passed and shetook 10 or 11 girls to the
Mac makeup counter, and Macopened before the mall opened.
And just for these 11 girlsto have makeovers and to
pick out anything in thestore that they wanted.
(04:50):
Yeah.
Um, to take homeas far as makeup.
So.
Talia started, that'swhat she wanted to do.
And so that's one of ourmain programs and we've
been to over 25 children'shospitals in the country.
And I know you joined us inBoston Children's Hospital.
And, um, so you know alittle bit about what we do.
Yeah.
And, um, so we just make itlike a fun day for them to keep
(05:12):
their mind off of what they'regoing through in the hospital.
Chemo and
Julia Salvia (05:16):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (05:16):
Radiation and treatments and just have
girl time with them and make upand make it feel like normal.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Not
Julia Salvia (05:22):
that like.
I hate the, the connotationand like the definition of
like normal, but make themfeel like they're just,
they're just being a girl.
Exactly.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Or being like a personenjoying something that
they want to mm-hmm.
Enjoy.
Yeah.
I think when I was there inboss at, uh, Boston Children's
Hospital, like it was justso heartwarming to actually
be like, just to help,just change what, like what
(05:46):
someone's day looks like.
Mattia Castellano (05:48):
Mm-hmm.
Julia Salvia (05:48):
And.
Even it, even withthat little bit of, you
know, joy and happiness.
I, I think I was likeholding back tears the
whole time I was there.
Of course, yeah.
Of just like.
Mm-hmm.
Like just the, thewarmth in my heart.
I was like, I can't, yeah.
Like, this is so good,but like I'm gonna cry.
Like I need to step away.
Like, this is so great.
Like Yeah.
It was just like a mix.
(06:09):
Like I'm gettingemotional thing.
I know.
Me too.
Mattia Castellano (06:11):
You have to like hold it in for them.
Julia Salvia (06:13):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (06:13):
Yeah.
So, but yeah.
Yeah.
It's, it's anincredible experience.
Yeah.
It's
Julia Salvia (06:18):
an incredible thing that, that like you
and your mom are doing andupholding Talia's legacy.
Yeah.
To.
Bring that joy to all of thesekids in, in, in this way.
Thank you.
Um, and give them asense of normalcy.
Yeah, exactly.
That
Mattia Castellano (06:33):
was the goal.
Yeah, that's the goal.
Talia, um, you know, uh,she wanted children to
feel like they had someone.
There for them.
Yeah.
And they were being heard and,um, they weren't forgotten.
Yeah.
That was one thingthat she always said.
She doesn't want anyone to everfeel like they're forgotten
in the while they're goingthrough cancer treatments.
(06:54):
Yeah.
Because, you know, she lostsome friends or they wouldn't
come see her in the hospital.
So she, it was, it was nice.
For her to start somethingthat everyone felt included
and we could go to thehospitals and cheer them up.
Julia Salvia (07:06):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I, and making thatfeel more like a home.
'cause we're, we'redoing our makeup.
Usually in our home, right?
Mm-hmm.
We're making up, we're,we're putting our makeup on,
getting dressed and all that.
Mm-hmm.
And we're doing that at homeand I'm thinking, you know,
this is a place that they'respending so much time in.
Yeah.
It's like their second home.
Yeah.
Bringing these things there,that feel to make the space
(07:28):
more home, like mm-hmm.
And more comfortable, I, Ican't imagine, makes them
feel so much more welcomed.
Mm-hmm.
And, and less alone too,knowing that, you know.
There's other people, otherkids there that are also
getting their makeup done.
Exactly.
They have somethingto bond a bond about
Mattia Castellano (07:45):
too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You
Julia Salvia (07:46):
know?
Mattia Castellano (07:46):
Yeah.
It's fun.
It's a fun girl time.
And, um, we've done boys too.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Um, but yeah, it's just, itis a, it is having a sense
of, uh, community and, um,just keeping their mind off
of what they're going through.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (08:13):
Hello guys.
Welcome back to theSelf-Love Archives podcast.
I'm your self-love bestie.
My name is Julia and Ihave Mattia here with me.
Hi everyone.
Mattia and I met, um, oh mygosh, a really, really long
time ago through, um, Ipsy.
And through, uh, yourTalia's legacy and, and glam
(08:35):
wars and we Social media?
Yeah, social media.
We've known each other fora really long time and I'm
super, super excited to haveher here to tell us all about
her self-love journey, um,and how her sister Talia has.
Really influenced that and, andhow you know who you are today.
Yes.
I'm
Mattia Castellano (08:55):
excited
Julia Salvia (08:55):
to be
Mattia Castellano (08:56):
here.
Thank
Julia Salvia (08:56):
you for having me.
Of course.
Mattia C (08:57):
Thanks for being here.
Yes, thank you.
Julia Salvia (08:59):
I know that we were just talking about Talia
and how she influenced allof these, um, children at the
children's hospitals where Icame and, and did glam wars and
how you guys continue mm-hmm.
To uphold her legacy, doingglam wars and, and all that you
give back to childhood cancer.
Um.
There's something aboutputting on makeup, right?
(09:22):
And getting dressed upand, and doing our hair.
Mm-hmm.
That really helpsus love ourselves.
Yeah.
More.
Mm-hmm.
Do you see thatin like, the faces almost
like in comparison to like.
The, the, the child thatyou're doing like makeup on.
Oh, yeah.
And the difference thatit makes when mm-hmm.
You just make themfeel more beautiful.
(09:43):
Mm-hmm.
With makeup or withgetting dressed up.
Mattia Castellan (09:46):
Oh, of course.
Um, we just did, uh,two hospital proms, so
hospitals put on promsbecause a lot of the, yeah.
Children are immune compromised,so they can't attend their own.
Proms in, uh, high school.
So we just did, um, twohospital proms and, you know,
we probably did around 20 girls.
And just seeing themthe, they're not, they're
(10:08):
not used to, you know,they're used to sitting
in the hospital bed Yeah.
And, and getting chemo andtheir hair is falling out and
they're honestly depressed.
Yeah.
I mean, it's nota good situation.
And, um, just seeing themhave like their own, um.
They're having their hairdone and their makeup
and, and, and everything.
So, um, seeing them, it'slike a change in their
(10:31):
face and then their wholeaura changes, so, yeah.
Yeah, it's, it's reallyincredible to see.
Julia Salvia (10:37):
I love that.
Yeah.
And do you have somethingfor you that helps you
love yourself more?
Is, is getting dressedup and like, putting
makeup on part of that?
Yeah.
Obviously makeup.
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (10:49):
I love doing my makeup.
Yeah.
Um, honestly, before Talia.
Um, was diagnosed with cancer.
I really didn't wear makeup.
I really did.
She influenced it?
Definitely.
Oh, oh yeah.
Like even when I firststarted doing makeup,
I was horrible at it.
I was horrible.
And
Julia Salvia (11:05):
I look back at pictures and I'm like,
Julia, yeah, me too.
Mattia Caste (11:08):
I'm like, oh yeah.
Um.
Talia, I obviously learneda lot from, she taught
herself, she's self-taught.
Yeah.
And I, I'm self-taught too,but like Talia taught me Yeah.
Basically.
And I'm sure she taughtmillions of people around the
world, you know, on YouTube.
Yeah.
So, oh, yeah.
I'm very grateful forTalia getting me into
makeup because Yeah.
If it wasn't for her, Iprobably still wouldn't
(11:30):
really be makeup, but yeah.
Oh, I love, I love makeup.
I love, um, you know,getting dressed up and,
Julia Salvia (11:36):
mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I like, yeah.
I always add, it's like.
A lot of people look at it asthis, um, like cliche or this,
um, like, oh, you don't needmakeup, and I'm like, mm-hmm.
It's not about needing it.
Mm-hmm.
Or, you know, feeling like Ineed to cover something up.
Yeah.
It's really about how it makesyou feel about yourself and
(11:59):
like the creativity behind it.
And I think that's suchan important thing that
people completely miss.
Mm-hmm.
When it comes to makeupand getting dressed up
and doing our hair like.
I feel like it's not,it doesn't need to be
iterated, but like Yeah.
It is not for anyonebut ourselves.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Like it's for us and US only.
Mm-hmm.
Um.
Mattia Castellano (12:17):
And you said it perfectly.
Yeah.
It's
Julia Salvia (12:19):
like, and it gets me so mad when you has,
has anybody ever said to you,you're so pretty without makeup?
Like you don't need to wear it?
Oh, all the time.
And you're like,I'm kind of offended
Mattia Castellano (12:27):
all
Julia Salvia (12:29):
you mean this work that the I just did on my face.
Like, you don't like it.
I,
Mattia Castellano (12:32):
yeah.
Yeah.
It's not like I wearan excessive amount
of makeup, like.
Tally always said, you,you're accentuating what you
already have to work with.
You know, like if you wannafill in your eyebrows a
little bit, fill in youreyebrows a little bit.
And especially with cancerpatients, you know, they
don't, most of them don'thave hair, they don't have
eyebrows or eyelashes, sothey want to, you know,
(12:53):
feel confident and, and, um.
Have their features accentuated.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Julia Salvia (12:58):
And what a cool place to be in too, to create
what you want to create.
Like I know Talia would alwayslike paint her her head too.
Mm-hmm.
And it's, I think, such acreative, inspiring place
if you can allow for thatcreativity to come in.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And, um.
Create the kind of eyebrowthat like you would want.
(13:19):
Yeah.
Or, you know,put on the false lashes mm-hmm.
That you wanna have or see likea different version of yourself.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I thinkthat's something I always
loved about makeup too.
Like, I, especially comingfrom like a space of Halloween
makeup, like I loved,I love that being Yeah.
Like, I love being able tojust completely like mm-hmm.
Change my hair, likeput on a wig and like.
(13:40):
Do.
Oh, I'm gonna be likereally goth today.
Yeah.
Mattia Cas (13:43):
You're very creative
Julia Salvia (13:44):
back in the day and still are.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Um, it's, it's, I love thatlike creativity and inspiration
that like comes out of itand when we can have more
creativity and inspirationbeyond just makeup, we mm-hmm.
You know, can learn a lotmore about ourselves and
learn what we like too.
Yeah.
It's self-expression.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (14:01):
Talia's motto was, uh, makeup is my wig.
Yeah.
Because she did notlike wearing wigs.
Yeah.
They were itchy and shehonestly, she didn't feel
like she was being herselfbecause it was kind of
something fake that she put on.
And I get that a lot of, youknow, people who are not, don't
have hair, they wanna wear wigsand, and I understand that it
(14:22):
just wasn't for her, of course.
So she kind of usedmakeup as her outlet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she loved drawingon her head and Yeah.
And before she passed, she gotinto special effects makeup.
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
Yeah.
So she startedlearning that I'd say like
the last year of her life.
Mm-hmm.
And she just loveddoing like the scars.
Yeah.
And the blood.
Yeah.
And
Julia Salvia (14:41):
yeah,
Mattia Castellano (14:42):
she loved it.
Julia Salvia (14:43):
It's really cool learning that too.
And like watching, I, I mean,I'm not a scary movie person.
I don't know if you are.
I love scary movies.
Oh my gosh.
I can't.
But when you watch themand there's any like blood
or gore, do you be like.
I know that's fake.
I was like, they dida really good job.
Mattia Castellano (14:57):
That sounded just like Tally is
something she would say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She like,
Julia Salvia (15:00):
that's fake.
This is how they did it.
This is what they used.
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (15:03):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
She, she loved it.
She loved any form of beauty.
Julia Salvia (15:09):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (15:09):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (15:11):
How do you bring that beauty into your life?
Because you're a mom now?
I am a mom, yes.
Mattia Castellano (15:18):
Um, he's basically three years old.
Um, his name's Leo and Oh wow.
Having, having him was, um.
Going through the experienceof being pregnant, and I know
it's different for everyone.
Mm-hmm.
To me, my body was kindof in like a shock.
Yeah.
I, I know what to expect, butit's not until you're Yeah.
(15:41):
Pregnant and going throughit to where you're, you
really are like, wow.
You know what to
Julia Salvia (15:45):
expect for you.
Mattia Castellano (15:47):
Yes.
'cause everyone's different.
Yeah, exactly.
And, um, I honestly,I was in a sh.
A state of shock forprobably like a year, a
year and a half body-wise.
Mm-hmm.
Um, learning tolove myself again.
Yeah.
Uh, emotions areeverywhere and yeah.
I mean, having, havinga child is a blessing.
Yeah.
And, um.
(16:08):
But you, it's a lot of, it'sa lot of work within yourself,
not only just being a mom,but within yourself and having
to, to, um, go through allthose emotions and, and loving
yourself and your body again.
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (16:20):
It's, there's such, so much change.
It's like, it's a lot ofchange, body change, mental
change, emotional change.
Yeah.
And your day to day changesas well, because you had
Mattia Castellano (16:29):
Yeah.
Everything
Julia Salvia (16:30):
somewhat to take care of.
Mattia Castellano (16:31):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (16:32):
It was everything.
And
Mattia Castellano (16:33):
like I said, I was in a state of shock.
It was like, yeah.
Yeah.
Um, a lot.
Julia Salvia (16:39):
What do you think was the hardest thing in
becoming a mom in regards tolike your, like loving yourself
and your self-love journey?
I'm sure there were somany stages of it too.
Bring me through those,that, those stages.
Mattia Castellano (16:52):
Um, definitely learning to adjust
how you live your life.
You're not living for oneperson anymore, you're
living for your child too.
Yeah.
So everything.
That you think about, normallyyou're thinking about in
a sense of what is bestfor your child, you know?
(17:14):
Yeah.
It's not just what'sbest for you anymore.
Exactly.
It's a total differentmindset and thoughts process.
Mm-hmm.
So I think that was.
That is definitely difficult.
It's also an instinct.
Mm-hmm.
Your, um, your motherinstinct mm-hmm.
Kicks in and it's like,wow, I, I have this.
Did it like switch?
Was it like a switch?
(17:34):
Yeah.
All of a sudden?
Yes.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's really weird.
Really weird.
Um, it's a journey.
Yeah, definitely.
Being a mom,
Julia Salvia (17:43):
what do you do as a mom, like day
to day that is for you?
Because I'm really big on.
Your cup has to be filled inorder to give it to others.
Oh, yeah.
And really the only thingsthat kind of come in the way of
that, that are priority maybebefore you, before you mm-hmm.
Is pets and kids.
(18:04):
Yeah.
Like ba kids and babies.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Anyone else?
Your cup needs to be full beforeyou give it to anyone else.
Yeah.
Um, but I think it couldbe like, you know, halfway.
Yeah, of course.
Like how a lot of moms wakeup before you know their
babies, their kids wake up.
Really just focusing on, onmoms here 'cause you're a mom.
Mm-hmm.
But they usually wake up, youknow, a couple hours so they
can have that time to yourself.
Yeah.
What does thatlook like for you?
Mattia Castellano (18:27):
Um, so I do not do the hour or two wake up
before because I need my sleep.
Yep.
So I wake up like 6 45.
Mm-hmm.
Seven.
It's just so early.
Yeah.
But some moms wake up at like.
Five and do thelike oh my goodness.
Meditation and said,yeah, that's not me.
I need to sleep.
Yep.
I look at it like I have to keepdoing what I was doing before
(18:50):
I got pregnant to keep myselfin check and, and yeah, like
some sorts, sort of normalcyand, and to keep myself sane.
And, um, so I still go outwith my friends when I can and
when I have time and, um, I.
Like to do littlemini trips when I can.
I sometimes bring myson, sometimes I don't.
(19:11):
And just keeping some sortof normalcy that I had before
I was a mom into my life.
And your life does change,but it doesn't have to
change super drastically.
Yeah.
You know, youdon't have to, you.
You're still you.
Yeah.
You're still you.
And, and I know there'ssome people out there
whose life revolves aroundtheir kids and that's okay.
(19:32):
And um, if you want itto be that way, if you
want it to be that way.
Exactly.
And I'm not saying my lifedoesn't revolve around my son.
Yeah.
'cause it does.
But I still want to keep.
Some sort of normalcy.
So yeah, of course she'lldo a lot of the same things.
I I used to do
Julia Salvia (19:47):
and you should.
'cause you don't wanna loselike, the identity of like,
who Mattia is, is, you know?
Yeah.
Like, you're not just a mom.
Yeah.
And you're not just a sister.
Exactly.
You don't, you know, and, andI think a, a lot of people
might relate that to you now.
Like, now that you are a mom,you're like, well, you're a mom.
You are like, yeah, but I'malso, I'm also everything
Mattia Castellano (20:05):
else too.
Yeah.
And did you
Julia Salvia (20:06):
feel that when, um.
With Talia, like when shepassed, like do you feel like
you were just Talia's sister?
Mattia Castellano (20:13):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (20:14):
In the same way that you're just Leo's mom.
Mattia Castellano (20:16):
Yeah.
In, in a sense.
Yeah.
I think people put like,you know, labels on people
or like, I think people
Julia Salvi (20:22):
really like labels.
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (20:24):
Like to think about people certain.
Just like, oh, they're,they're, you know, just
this one thing or something.
So yeah, I did, Idid feel like that.
And that was always like, peoplewould come up to me and they're
like, uh, do you feel likeyou're living in Talia's shadow?
Because, you know,Talia was the center of
attention the whole time.
Yeah.
And that was her personality.
And I am not as much like that.
(20:47):
Yeah.
She was a Leo andthat's what she likes.
And so I, and that's a Leo.
Yeah.
And, um, I just, I was finewith being in the background.
Yeah.
So that was, that'sjust my personality.
Yeah.
But, um, yeah, I was fine withTally having the spotlight.
Julia Salvia (21:04):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (21:04):
And that's what, that's
what she deserved too.
Yeah.
During the
Julia Salvia (21:07):
time.
Yeah.
And so who is Mattia?
Mattia Castellano (21:11):
Oh.
Julia Salvia (21:13):
So if you are, how would you describe yourself?
And we'll do like three words,like how would you describe who
you are without describing whoyou are for Leo and who you.
Were with Talia.
Mattia Castellano (21:26):
Mm-hmm.
Um, I think I'm verycompassionate, very
compassionate person.
Mm-hmm.
I feel everybody else'semotions and I always wanna make
everybody else feel comfortable,whether I'm comfortable or not.
Yeah.
And that kind of, um,makes it seem like, oh,
I put other people'sfeelings first above mine.
(21:48):
And in a sense I kind of do.
Yeah.
I've always been like that.
Um, so I guesscompassionate, um.
What else?
What do you thinkabout me, Julia?
Um,
Julia Salvia (22:00):
it's.
I would say strength.
You're very strong.
Strong.
Strong.
Okay.
Strong to be to, yeah.
To be in this place thatyou're in today, Uhhuh.
To be a mom, I thinkis a strength in and
all in and of itself.
Mm-hmm.
Like that is astrength for sure.
And to uphold a legacy ofsomeone who you cared about so
(22:23):
much, that is also a strength.
Yeah.
And to be sitting here today.
Sharing that story and tobe who you are without, and
be mattia outside of, youknow, being a mom mm-hmm.
And being a sister.
Mm-hmm.
Like that is a strength.
That's to still show up as you
Mattia Castellano (22:42):
Yeah.
It's hard.
Julia Salvia (22:44):
Of course.
Oh my gosh.
Definitely is hard.
Sweet.
Of course.
Sweet.
Mattia Castellano (22:47):
Thank you.
Yeah, you're welcome.
It's hard, I don't know, it'shard to describe because like,
I still struggle with it too.
Like, what do Ilove about myself?
You know?
I don't know.
I think I've been throughso much in my life that
there's like always somekind of mental blocks.
Yeah.
Still going on,
Julia Salvia (23:05):
so.
Mattia Castellano (23:05):
Mm-hmm.
It's kind of hard to
Julia Salvia (23:06):
describe myself.
They, you don't get like amoment to really like be.
Just you.
Yeah.
Because there's so manyother things that you
are giving towards.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
You said it, you
Mattia Castellan (23:18):
said it right?
Julia Salvia (23:19):
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(24:04):
Compassionate, strong.
Mattia Castellano (24:07):
I love how I turned the question
Julia Salvia (24:09):
around you.
I know you turn, you'returning the question on me now.
OIA is compassionate, strong.
I mean, I told youbeautiful, intelligent, yes.
Thank you.
The easy, the easiestthings to take from you.
Yeah.
Where justtaking that, knowing that
you're very compassionateand strong, where do you
see that taking you in, youknow, your self-love journey?
(24:29):
Because here we, I, I believein as the self of archives,
we're never gonna get to thisplace of loving ourselves
because every day we wakeup and we are different.
Right.
Mm-hmm.
We go through so many differentchanges, um, in our bodies,
in our minds, in our life, andwe need to relearn how to love
ourselves every single day.
Oh, yeah.
(24:49):
Yeah.
It's not like a, a point thatwe'll ever really get to.
Mm-hmm.
But we will, you know, wake up.
Each day and, and hopefullyknow that we love ourselves more
than we did yesterday, and, andrealize how many things we've
gone through and done and, andlove ourselves through those
changes that have happened.
So kind of
Mattia Castellano (25:08):
like you have
Julia Salvia (25:09):
to remind yourself.
Mattia Castellano (25:10):
Yeah.
Right.
Every, every
Julia Salvia (25:11):
morning, every day you wake up.
Yeah.
To remind yourself.
It's a choice.
Mattia Castellano (25:14):
Yeah.
It is a choice.
Julia Salvia (25:16):
It's a choice to to know.
You know, to learn more aboutwho you are and to understand
who you are and say, I'mchoosing to love all of that.
What are, what are thingsactually that you can do
better to love yourself?
Mattia C (25:33):
Uh, definitely be more confident, I guess.
Um.
Because I know, I know.
I am compassionate.
I know I am strong.
And I guess verbalizing it Yeah.
To, to myself isthe most important.
But other to others too, youknow, I could, I couldn't
even think of it right now.
Yeah.
But, um, I think remindingmyself that every morning.
(25:57):
Like talking tomyself in the mirror.
I know that's likea thing, right?
Yeah.
You're supposed to say wordsof affirmation to yourself.
Mm-hmm.
I don't do that.
I know sometimes like
Julia Salvia (26:04):
it's, I know sometimes it's weird for people
to like look at themselves inthe mirror and be like, I love
you, but it is gonna be weird.
Mm-hmm.
At first, and I thinkit's really important
to actually hear it.
And hear it be said.
Yeah.
Especially from you.
But I think that if it isweird at first and it's maybe
uncomfortable or there's adifferent mode of communication
that works better for you, likerecording yourself or recording
(26:28):
a video of yourself or writingit down on paper or writing
it down like in your notes.
Yes.
And committing to actuallycome back and look at it.
Mm-hmm.
Or come back and listen to it.
Mm-hmm.
I think also makesa difference too.
Yeah.
Because I know for me, I.
Journaling is really helpful forme and my mode of journaling.
That always sticks with me.
That really helps me actuallyget the words, the words down,
(26:53):
or whatever my thoughts are,that that actually helps me.
Mm-hmm.
If I write it on paper.
Mattia Castellano (26:58):
Yeah.
Same.
Julia Salvia (26:59):
If I write it in my notes, it's more of
just like a, a brain dump.
But it doesn't help mein the way that it helps
me to journal on paper.
Mattia Castellano (27:07):
Okay.
So you journal with apen or pencil on paper?
Yes.
Okay.
See, I'm, I put it inmy notes on my phone.
Yeah, do so youwould recommend me?
I do both.
Yeah.
Do Okay.
Julia Salvia (27:16):
I do both.
It, it's reallywhatever works for you.
But I also do videojournaling too.
It's just, it dependson what it is.
Okay.
If I feel like I needto share a message with
myself, I'll video it.
Okay.
Yeah.
And sometimes I'llgo back to it.
Sometimes I will.
I'll accidentally go back to it.
And it's really helpfulto see like where you've,
(27:37):
where you've come from and,and what you were, yeah.
What, what stage of lifeyou were in in that moment.
Mm-hmm.
And to look backand be like, wow.
Look who I was thenand look who I am now.
Mm-hmm.
And look at the thingsthat I might have been.
Usually I'm very upset whenI'm doing these video journals.
I would be too, you're likebawling your eyes out, like
on, on these video journalsbeing like, and you're looking
(27:58):
back and it's like, girl.
Yeah.
What are you crying for?
Yeah.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Yeah.
It's like it tell my mentalityof like, just keep swimming.
Yeah.
Like you really likeeverything is gonna be okay.
Mattia Castellano (28:08):
That's good advice though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So journaling and then video.
Yeah.
Recording.
It's not gonna be seenby anyone, but it's for
yourself to like get it out.
Yeah,
Julia Salvia (28:18):
exactly.
And if, um, there's somany different modes of
like, creativity thatdo that for us mm-hmm.
That are self-expression, likemakeup, um, and finding the time
and making the time to do thoseoften and do them in a way that.
Is comfortable
Mattia Castellano (28:36):
mm-hmm.
Julia Salvia (28:36):
For you and, and makes you feel
confident enough to do them.
Mattia Castellano (28:40):
Mm-hmm.
Julia Salvia (28:41):
And understanding of how you like to do them
makes all the difference.
Yeah.
Like how I video journalwhen I need to share a
message with myself or feelas though I'm talking to
someone, I will journal bywriting down when I feel a
little bit more, um, poetic.
Like, uh, I wannawrite a letter to.
(29:01):
And, and knowing that I'm nevergonna send it to them, like a
letter to someone that has upsetme or a letter to, um, maybe a
wider like audience of people.
Mm-hmm.
Like I'll actuallylike write it down.
And I'll come back.
That, that I usually comeback to when I write it down.
And not being so hard onyourself with what you're
writing, just write.
Yeah.
Um, same thingwith like a notes app or
like in my phone, usuallyI am dating and I'm writing
(29:26):
in my phone when or talk, Iactually talk into my phone.
I don't even write init or type in it 'cause
texting really annoys me.
Mm-hmm.
But, but I'll talk into it.
Um, if I'm thinking of somethingon my walk that I don't wanna
forget, or if there's somethingthat I need to work through
with myself that I don'twanna forget, it's all of
these different modes of, um,basically like help mm-hmm.
(29:50):
For you.
Mm-hmm.
To learn yourself.
To understand yourself and to.
Not feel overwhelmed.
Yeah.
Because I feel like our life canbe so overwhelming and that can
cloud our minds with actuallydeciding to choose who we are.
'cause if we know who we areand we're making the room to
know who we are, and we'regetting everything that's like.
(30:11):
Clouding our minds oreverything that's just
like filling up our heads.
I always think ofSpongeBob running around
with all the files.
Yeah.
Like all the differentSpongeBobs and they're
throwing all the files around.
Yeah.
I always think of that like, ifwe're making the room to have,
um, the ability to learn whatall those files are, we can,
you know, love ourselves more.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It's true.
Yeah.
Yeah, so do that.
(30:32):
It takes a lot of work.
Yep, it does.
It's a lot of self love work.
It does, yeah.
A lot of, a lot ofchoosing ourselves.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And I think it's kind of likehow we need to fill up, up our
cup in order to give to others.
We need to choose ourselvesin order to choose others.
Yeah.
Because if we are not.
Whole, if we're not lovingwho we are, how can we give
(30:54):
the truest and best form ofourselves to other people?
How can we help other people?
Others?
Yeah.
Even another great exampleof that is like on a plane,
they always tell you togive your oxygen when,
when the oxygen mask, Godforbid, like come down.
You need to give that toyourself first, because if
you don't have oxygen tobreathe, how are you gonna
help the person next to you?
(31:14):
Mm-hmm.
How are you gonna help you knowthe person across from you?
You can't.
Because you are not breathing.
That's true.
It's very powerful.
It is.
That
Mattia Castel (31:21):
is very powerful.
That's a good analogy.
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (31:23):
Thanks.
Mattia Castellano (31:24):
Yeah.
Very good.
Julia Salvia (31:25):
Yeah.
Um, so I'm comingout with a card deck.
Yes.
It's awesome.
And I wanna ask youone of those questions.
Okay.
Thank you.
Um, okay, so I'vegot my laptop here.
Now the card deck has threedifferent depths, and the
idea of the depths is askingyourself, how deep do you
wanna go with yourself today?
So the questions essentially geta little bit deeper or harder.
(31:46):
We have deep,deeper, and deepest.
So how deep wouldyou like to go today?
Mattia Castellano (31:52):
Ooh.
Deep, deeper, or deepest?
We, let's do the middle.
Okay.
Deeper.
Deeper?
Yeah.
Okay.
Julia Salvia (31:58):
Now pick a number.
There's 33 cards ineach category for a
total of 100 cards.
So there's one card, areflection card that you start
and end the whole deck with.
Okay?
But we're gonna choose onecard from the deeper category.
Okay?
There's 33 of them.
So pick a number one through 33.
Mattia Castella (32:16):
Oh, mom, Sarah.
Number is three.
Let,
Julia Salvia (32:18):
let's do 33.
Mattia Castella (32:19):
Let's do three.
Okay.
Three or 33.
What do you think we should do?
Julia Salvia (32:23):
Oh, that's you.
Mattia Cast (32:23):
Uh, let's do three.
Julia Salvia (32:24):
Okay.
In what ways?
Have you lost parts ofyourself trying to belong?
Mattia Castellano (32:32):
Oh, wow.
Mm-hmm.
Um, this is a deep question,so I need to think about this.
Mm-hmm.
Um,
Julia Salvia (32:43):
as you're thinking, one of the biggest
things with this carddeck is really to choose
the answer that first.
Comes to you.
Okay.
Of course, most of themare gonna stump you at
first because they're allquestions to stump you.
Mm-hmm.
They're all questions toreally get you thinking.
Yeah.
To get you thinking, tobring out that, you know,
that deeper part of you.
(33:04):
Mm-hmm.
And sometimes we mightnot know the actual
answer to these questions.
So one of the biggest thingsin the direction, so to
speak, on how to actuallyuse this card deck is to
continue to ask yourself why.
When you do find somesort of an answer.
So if I tell you that Idon't like lilies, well,
why don't you like lilies?
(33:24):
Well, I just, I don't,I don't like them.
Mm-hmm.
Well, why don't you like them?
Mm-hmm.
I don't like the smell of them.
Okay.
Why don't you likethe smell of them?
Well, it reminds me of funerals.
Well, why does itremind you of funerals?
Mm-hmm.
Well, when I was reallyyoung, my, both my grand
grandparents died a coupleyears apart from each other,
but I was super young.
I was like in my.
(33:45):
Maybe like early, earlyteens, like around 10 ish.
Mm-hmm.
And all I really rememberedfrom their wakes was
the smell of lilies.
And I didn't put thattogether until I was older
and like, you know, peoplewould buy me flowers and
I'm like, they smell so bad.
Mm-hmm.
I'm like, I hate them.
And then I finally likepinpointed that it was a lily
(34:06):
that I didn't like becauseit was the smell of the lily.
So now I love flowers.
My whole brand isbuilt on flowers.
Yeah.
But it's lilies that Idon't, I love how they're
beautiful, but I don't lovethe smell of lilies because
of where it brings me back.
So you see how you can ask sucha simple question and then keep
asking yourself why to, um,have yourself go deeper with
(34:29):
who you are to really understandsomething about yourself.
Even if it just is as simpleas like, I don't, I don't
like, I don't like lilies.
Yeah.
You know?
Wow.
Mattia Castellano (34:37):
Yeah.
That brought you back Yeah.
To your childhood.
Yeah.
A lot of.
A lot of trauma and Yeah.
Stems from childhood, so,
Julia Salvia (34:45):
and they're not all gonna go as deep as that.
Yeah.
Some of them are gonna be alittle bit more, um, surface
level, so to speak, but they'remeant, the questions are
meant to have you go deeper,whether it's deep, deeper,
or deepest with yourself.
Um, in what ways have youlost parts of yourself
trying to belong?
Mattia Castellano (35:05):
I guess there's always that
part of you that feels.
Like, sometimes you'rebeing fake in order to fit
in, but you're not trulybeing like who you are.
Yeah.
And I, and I guess going backto what I said about, you
know, I let Talia have thespotlight, you know, I, I
didn't let her, that's justher personality and, and I was
(35:27):
okay taking the back burner.
Maybe there's not like awhole, like there's some truth
in that, but maybe not as.
S much as I, maybe I'm justused to saying it like that.
Yeah.
And maybe there's somethingdeeper I need to dive into.
Maybe I, I do let, like I said,I let other people's kind of
feelings and go above, likeI think of other people more
(35:50):
than I think about myself.
Like I think of, yeah,I want you to be okay
rather than me to be okay.
'cause I put others before me.
Yeah.
And I do that a lot and I know Ido that and maybe, I don't know,
I do that as much as I. ThinkI do and it ends up hurting me.
Julia Salvia (36:07):
Yeah.
And maybe there's like this astage, so to speak, like, like
a metaphor of a stage thatyou let people walk it or get
onto onto it before you do.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, you havesomething more important to say.
Let me let you say that.
Say what you have to sayfirst and then I'll say mine.
Yeah.
But then you're in lineto get onto that stage
(36:28):
and you just keep lettingpeople cut in front of you.
Mattia Castellano (36:30):
Mm-hmm.
And Yeah.
You said it great.
Yeah.
And um, also, I know, like yousaid, you, you think I'm strong
and I know that I am strong.
Yeah.
And maybeI think that I am stronger
than those certain people,so I'm like, you can go yeah.
Ahead.
I'll put your emotions ahead.
'cause I know you needit more than I do.
Mm-hmm.
(36:51):
And I don't, I, I just alwaysthought like that.
I don't know if it's justlike who I am or like I, it
is like a learn thing or I,I need to be less of that.
I don't know.
You just need to be
Julia Salvia (37:01):
exactly who, who you are.
But know that even thoughthere might be people around
you that are going throughharder things, what you're
going through matters to.
Mm-hmm.
Because there's always gonnabe someone that's going
through something better.
Mm-hmm.
Something worse.
Mm-hmm.
Something harder,something emotionally
harder, physically harder.
(37:22):
There's always someonethat's gonna be going
through something that.
In someone's perspective mightbe harder or less hard than
what you're going through.
Yeah.
So validating what you aregoing through and how you are
feeling about something and alsomaking sure to give yourself the
spotlight to be able to say thatand speak your truth, whatever
it may be, is important too.
(37:44):
Yeah.
And not always lettingpeople cut the line.
Mattia Castellano (37:46):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, and I'm big onnot being selfish.
Like I, I think I'm one ofthe least selfish people
in the world, but yeah.
I know there's a lot of peoplethat are selfish out there
and that they need that kindof just to, they need to be
selfish to just function,I guess, through life.
And I'm just not like that.
So I, I, I think that's one ofthe reasons why I put others
(38:07):
before my feelings before.
Julia Salvia (38:10):
But
Mattia Castellano (38:10):
that doesn't make you selfish.
Julia Salvia (38:12):
Yeah.
Mattia Castellano (38:13):
No, no.
It doesn't make me selfish.
Yeah, it doesn't.
I'm saying maybe I need tobe a little bit more selfish.
Julia Salvia (38:17):
Well, yeah, but I don't even think it's selfish.
Uh, like putting yourself.
First or making yourselfa priority at all?
Yeah, because I think, um, a lotof people, even like, I think
they changed the definition ofself-love in the dictionary.
'cause it used to say like,conceited and like selfish
and things like that.
Oh wow.
Really just caringabout yourself.
(38:37):
Mm-hmm.
When in actuality, like, it kindof goes back to the whole thing.
Well, if I don't care about me,then I can't care about you.
Mm-hmm.
So it's not selfishtaking care of me.
It's selfish when Iconstantly, you know.
Only care about me anddon't care about you,
but you're compassionate.
So that wouldn't be, you know,your compassionate person.
(39:00):
That wouldn't evenreally be a thing.
Mattia (39:01):
Yeah, no, I'm, you would
Julia Salvia (39:02):
still care about other people's feelings
or how something that you domakes you, makes them feel.
Mm-hmm.
I think that people who arenot selfish, who are more
selfless are the people whoactually care what other people.
You know how how somethingthey would do would
make other people feel.
Yeah.
But that doesn't mean thatyou have to not do it.
Mattia Castellano (39:25):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (39:25):
That's me.
You just described me.
We figured out who you'retoday on the podcast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, it's not selfishto care for you.
Yeah.
And I think that's somethingto, that's something so
important that I hopea lot of people take.
Yeah.
I need to take, take, I needto take that away from hope.
You take it this, takeit away from this.
Yes.
(39:45):
I hope other peopletake it away from this.
Like, it's not selfish tocare for you, it's, it's
self-love to care for you.
Mm-hmm.
I need to do more of that.
Of course.
Thanks for being here.
I appreciate, thankyou so much for
Mattia Castellano (39:56):
having me.
This was a lot offun and I'm so glad.
Yeah.
I'm glad we got to talk onthe first leg on the tour.
Yeah.
Glad we got to touch ona bunch of different.
Subjects.
Yeah, me
Julia Salvia (40:07):
too.
Thank you TI reallyappreciate you being here.
It's Julia.
Thank you.
And, and thank you guys so muchfor tuning in to the podcast.
Um, I'll see you next weekor two weeks from now for
the next episode on theSelf of Archives of Podcast.
Mattia Castellano (40:23):
Thank.
Thank you.
Bye
Julia Salvia (40:25):
bye.
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