May 19, 2024 • 27 mins
are you aware of what you consume? are you aware of it's affect on you?
this topic's been a bit on my mind lately and it ties directly into our journeys- if we are who we surround ourselves with in our physical environments, then the same must be true for our digital environments.
in today's episode, let's talk about how what you pay attention to, especially in the digital social media world, can be a double-edged sword or just not helping you love yourself more.
i reference a post shared by the lovely, hayes in this episode. you can find her here.
connect with julia on instagram @beautybyjulia + tik tok @juliasalvia
unlock more archive content on instagram @theselflovearchive + tik tok @theselflovearchives
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Julia Salvia (00:00):
Pay attention to what you pay attention to.
There is so mucharound us to consume.
We have the access and theavailability now, present
day, to consume so muchdifferent content, information,
(00:22):
knowledge than ever before.
But have you stopped fora second and thought What
you pay attention to most.
Welcome back to the SelfLove Archives podcast.
I'm your host, Julia Salvia,your self love bestie,
(00:43):
your self love guide, yourself love best friend.
I am all of the above andthen some, and I'm so grateful
that you are here today.
Welcome to episode number 31,and we are going to be really
getting into this whole topicof all of this information
that we have the opportunityto consume, but how can that
(01:06):
affect our self love journey?
How can that affect our mindset?
How can that affect us?
Because it can affect usin so many different ways.
It's kind of a double edgedsword in a lot of ways because
while it sounds like such apositive thing that we have
the ability to Connect toso many different people, to
(01:30):
consume all of this differentcreativity and information.
It can also be a detrimentto our own selves, our souls,
our journey, our heart.
There's so much to dive into.
With this statement ofpaying attention to what
we pay attention to.
(01:51):
What we really pay attention to.
What we give our energy to.
Pay attention to whatyou pay attention to is
a quote by John Green.
I heard the quote from thisamazing podcaster and she
has an amazing advice column.
Her name is Hayes andI've talked about her
on my podcast before.
(02:11):
She's so lovely.
I would dream, I would dieto have her here with us
today to really chat aboutso many different things.
She's incredibly insightful.
But when she said this, itreally connected to this theme
of what I had been doing formyself, which is looking into
(02:32):
and being a lot more awareof all of these things that
I am giving my energy to.
All of these things thatI am paying attention to.
I was having a conversation withone of you guys in DM, The gist
of the conversation is somethingthat I have heard multiple times
(02:52):
from multiple different people.
It's that I can't lovemyself because of this.
I can't love myselfbecause of that.
I can't love myself becauseI'm trying to get to this
point, or this part, or thisgoal, or I'm trying to reach
this, I'm trying to losethat, I'm trying to do that.
We talked a little bit moreabout this in the last episode,
(03:16):
about loving yourself and whyyou can't love yourself, but
I want to hone in, I want tofocus in more on this topic
of how the content and thebooks and the information
that we are consuming canalso be a detriment to helping
us love ourselves more.
(03:36):
But again, it's adouble edged sword.
It can also be a reallypositive thing as well if
you're consuming the rightcontent, the right information,
or surrounding yourselfwith the right people.
Have you ever taken a momentto look at really look at,
not mindlessly scroll, notmindlessly have conversations,
(04:02):
but to really look at thecontent that you consume, the
content, wording, lessons thatyou pay attention to, the things
that people say and how theyaffect you, the people that
you surround yourself with.
Have you ever stopped andreally paid attention?
(04:24):
to what they're saying,what someone is saying,
the type of content thatyou're being fed online.
There's two ways tolook at it, right?
You have the people andthe environment that you
actually are in and then youhave the digital environment
(04:45):
that you spend your time in.
So you have the physicalworld and the digital world.
Have you stopped?
Taken a step back and justtaken a look at what you're
really paying attention to.
What content you're consuming.
What words are you holdingonto from conversations?
What places and environmentsare you spending a
(05:08):
lot of your time in?
And what do thoseenvironments look like?
What does your digitalenvironment look like and
what does your physicalenvironment look like?
I'd almost consider your digitalenvironment, the people that you
follow and the content that youconsume and the people that you
watch is almost like the peoplethat you surround yourself
(05:30):
with in this physical world.
While we can compare themin this very surface level
way, of course, the physicalworld, we live where we live.
We have family and friendsand we surround ourselves
with these people.
And sometimes it's, of coursewe can make boundaries, create
(05:52):
boundaries and what not.
But we can't unfollowthese people.
Or we can't move our home to adifferent social media platform.
We have a little bit moreof a choice when it comes
to our digital environments.
Now you know when you're onsocial media and let's say that
(06:13):
you saw a video of a puppy.
And not just any puppy,but it is a chocolate
lab with green eyes.
And then all of asudden, tomorrow, you're
seeing a chocolate labwith green eyes again.
And then all of a suddenyou're going to your For You
page and You're seeing morechocolate labs with green eyes.
(06:36):
And then all of a suddenyou're seeing more and more
videos of those chocolate labs.
The way that most socialmedia platforms work is that
it takes information fromhow you interact and engage
with other pieces of content.
(06:57):
So if you're looking at videosof Chocolate Labs with Green
Eyes and you're consuming thatcontent and you're watching
it, your retention rate, whichis how long you've watched
the video for, is till thevery end and then you're
watching it again and again.
they're going tofeed you more videos.
Those platforms aregoing to feed you more
(07:17):
videos just like that.
So while there's nothinginherently wrong about consuming
content of a chocolate labwith green eyes, because that
can bring you a sense of joyand a sense of happiness and
a little bit of a relaxationin the middle of the day.
(07:38):
Are there pieces of contentthat you're consuming or
videos that you keep comingacross that maybe don't have
that positive effect on you?
Maybe they have anegative effect on you.
Maybe they leave you feelingnot so good about yourself.
(08:00):
And maybe it's notthe piece of content.
Maybe it's what this pieceof content brings out in you.
Let's say that you arefeeling a bit insecure
with how your body looks.
You're seeing that your socialmedia pages are feeding you a
(08:24):
lot of content of women who arenot the same body type as you.
Women who don't dressthe same as you.
And women who seem to beextremely confident in
their bodies, how theylook, And what they wear.
And every time you view thispiece of content, you finish
(08:46):
watching these videos, and youjust feel worse about yourself.
You feel as though yourbody, your style, and who
you are isn't good enough.
Because you've now just beenpaying attention to all of
this content that provides theassumption that this person
(09:11):
loves their bodies, isn'tinsecure about their body.
But the reality of it is thatyou don't actually know if
that person is insecure or not.
You're consuming contentthat is making you feel
(09:32):
more insecure about yourselfbecause you're making the
assumption that this is whatyou're supposed to look like.
That this is the norm, this isthe goal, this is the person
that your, that your brain hasdecided you're supposed to be.
(09:54):
That the only people that existout there, because that's all
your social media is feedingyou, is that type of woman.
When that's not true.
And I know you knowthat it's not true.
That's why we need topay attention to the
content that we consume.
(10:16):
Because we have control over thecontent that we consume, right?
If we are paying attention tovideos on food, or videos on
puppies, we're gonna get fedmore of those types of videos.
Social media is smart.
But I don't think that socialmedia works against us.
(10:38):
It actually works for us, whichcan be a double edged sword
because it can put us in thiscircle, this world of thinking
that only these certain people,only these certain things exist.
Our physical environmentscan do the same for us.
(11:00):
When I grew up, I didnot know the half of
it, the quarter of it.
I didn't know, I didn'tknow anything about the
world that existed beyondthe town that I grew up in.
Because we didn'ttravel too much.
We didn't reallyget to experience.
(11:21):
this life outside of thislittle town in the middle
of New Jersey that I grewup in, and this little beach
town that I grew up in.
I didn't have the accessto explore, and I didn't
really grow up, so to speak,with social media to the
(11:42):
extent that we have today.
So there's this doubleedged sword of being in
control of the contentthat you want to consume.
The content that you'reaware of and pushing social
media to feed to you.
And also being in this placeof it only feeding you the
(12:06):
things that you want it to,the things that you enjoy.
That it could could createthis bubble if we're not
aware of what we're being fed.
Now that we have thisopportunity, this giant
world of information, wehave more societal norms.
(12:32):
There are so many moreThings for others to see,
for others to judge, andfor others to question.
Especially if we're puttingout content into the world.
We're giving, we'regiving the opportunity.
Doesn't mean it's right, butwe're giving the opportunity
to everyone across the globe tohave a say, or to make judgment,
(12:57):
or have an opinion on us.
So what type of contentshould you be consuming?
What content should yoube paying attention to?
I believe that if you canrecognize that everything you're
seeing, while it may be true,you're not seeing everything.
(13:21):
But there is a way to kindof, Cheat the system in
this digital environment.
And that's by choosingwhat you consume.
So what content, whatinformation, what
platforms, what shouldyou actually be consuming?
(13:44):
I think this answeris up to you.
But if I were to answer this,if I were to tell you the types
of content that I consume, Iconsume content from people
that make me feel inspired.
I consume content from peoplethat make me feel creative.
(14:06):
From people that bring me joy.
from Content that brings mejoy We do have that choice on
our platforms to choose who wefollow And who we don't follow
or who we mute or who we don'tmute on our platforms Take into
consideration and don't feel badabout it who you deliberately
(14:31):
click follow for or subscribefor Because at the end of the
day that is the content thatyou're going to be Consuming.
That's the content that youare going to be learning from.
That you are going to be seeingday in and day out because you
chose to follow this person.
(14:52):
Because you chose towatch this entire video.
If a piece of content or a videodoesn't make you feel good about
yourself, ask the question, why?
Why doesn't that pieceof content make you feel
good about yourself?
Is it because the contentdoesn't align with your
values as a person?
(15:14):
Is it because of maybean insecurity that you
have with yourself?
Is it because you don't agreewith what the person has to say?
Is it because it just doesn'tleave you feeling comfortable?
creative, or inspired, or kind.
(15:36):
Maybe the piece ofcontent is mean.
If that's the case, stopwatching that type of content.
Unfollow that person.
And please don'tfeel bad about it.
Because this isyour environment.
Just like we createour environments
(16:02):
In the physical world,we create our environment
in the digital world.
You have the opportunity tofollow like minded people,
to follow and consume contentfrom people that make you feel
creative, happy, inspired,positive, that make you think.
(16:27):
You have the opportunity tochoose the type of experience
that you want to have inyour own digital environment,
on your digital platforms.
And you can say the same forthe physical world as well.
You have the opportunityto choose who you want
to spend your time with.
To choose where you want to go,how you want to live your life.
(16:53):
At the end of the day, Ofcourse, there are so many
little, little things toconsider, but at the end of the
day, you do have that choice.
I want to share withyou my private DMs
with one of my lovely viewers.
(17:15):
She asked such a wonderfulquestion to me and I loved, not
to pat myself on the back, but Iloved my response to her because
it really brought full circle.
One of the biggest questionsthat a lot of people asked.
Talk to me about or ask meabout and it has to do with
(17:36):
social media and the contentthat we consume and How
that has an adverse effecton us and loving ourselves
more Hi honey, how are you?
The wind chimes in thebackground sound so cute.
Congrats to you onlosing 35 pounds.
(17:56):
That's definitely somethingthat is so amazing,
if that was your goal.
Social media is, socialmedia, whether social media
existed or not, I think thatwe just have so much more
things to consume and morepeople that we have access to.
(18:17):
that it's overwhelming tosee so many things happening.
I think all of us, men included,um, we are shamed into thinking
that there are certain partsof ourselves that are negative,
(18:38):
that are bad, that aren'tgood enough, that need to be
changed, that are shameful.
And because of that, there,when you're looking at social
media or you're just like,you know, conversing or
seeing the people around you.
You have no idea whatis going on behind the
(19:01):
closed doors, right?
You don't know what is insideof the book unless you read it.
It's kind of like that wholesaying, like, you know, don't
judge a book by its cover.
But it's so true becauseon social media we get to
choose, like, the chaptersand the pieces of these books.
Like of our book we get tochoose what parts of that
(19:23):
we want to share even me Youknow, even as someone who
is maybe a little bit morevulnerable and a little bit
more vocal and a little bitmore Um open on social media
There are still so many thingsthat people don't know because
there are certain thingsthat I choose to not share
So it puts us in this reallydifficult place when Here we are
(19:49):
And we're reaching these certaingoals of ours, and we are trying
to choose to love ourselves.
And we are trying tojust love ourselves.
And all we see around us arethese, are only these certain
pieces of other people.
(20:11):
And I think that's why it's sodifficult to love ourselves.
That's why social mediacan be You know, not the
greatest place for everyone.
That's why some people it'sfor some people It's a really
great to take a break orto mute someone's profile
or to unfollow or to notconsume but we have One we
(20:32):
have control over the contentthat we choose to consume as
much as we think that TikTokInstagram is feeding it to us.
We are actually the ones andI actually love this topic.
I might even I might evenlike, if you don't mind, um,
I might record, I'll like doa little screen recording and
grab all of this for anotherpodcast episode, because I
(20:54):
love this conversation, becauseit just gives a different
perspective, but We are atthe end of the day in control
of what we consume, and thenInstagram and TikTok takes that
information of what we consumeand kind of feeds it back to us.
So if we're consumingpuppies all day and Those
(21:15):
weird videos of that.
I don't know if you've everseen those weird videos of like
this popcorny Like looking foodthat just gets thrown into this
giant metal pan and pops upinto like this Popcorn, I don't
even know if you if you knowwhat i'm talking about, you know
what i'm talking about if youknow, you know Um, then that's
(21:37):
what the social media platformsare going to feed us It's kind
of the same way You Just in adifferent facet that whoever we
spend the most time with are thepeople who are going to kind of
have influence on us, are goingto be the type of conversations
and lives that we are consuming.
We get to choosewhat we consume.
(21:58):
So what I wanted to sayis that we're not seeing
so many other chapters andparts of these books that
people are creating for us.
because they're only sharingparts and pieces of it.
And we might never actuallyfinish reading that whole book.
We never, we mightnever get the chance to.
(22:22):
Because that's, it's kindof like a private journal,
private diary of each ofthese people that we're
consuming content from.
So I challenge you tolook at the content you
consume in a different way.
So, I challenge you tolook at the content you
consume in a different way.
Not everything you see, thateverything you see may be
(22:44):
true, but it's not, you'renot seeing everything.
And may I also add, becauseI had a, I hope, I hope this
is, this is insightful bythe way, because I actually
had a call with my intuitiveteacher earlier today.
That was very lovely.
And we were actually talkingabout, My challenge, which I
(23:06):
will probably change the nameof challenge to journey because
I think challenge can be alittle, a little too rough, and
I don't want this challenge orthis journey to be something
that comes off so masculine.
Discipline and motivation, thosewords sometimes can be really
(23:27):
rooted in a lot of harshness.
and a lot of criticalnessof ourselves.
I think having discipline isgreat and being motivated and
creating motivation is sucha wonderful thing because
we need those things, right?
We need that in order topush ourselves to get,
we need that in order to pushourselves to get to the next
(23:50):
level or to be the betterversion of ourselves, right?
We need to have that, we needto create discipline in order
to feel and create motivation.
to help us be the bestversion of ourselves in
whatever way that is.
But there's also a kindness,a gratefulness that we need to
(24:14):
have with ourselves, especiallywhen we're in the process of
like reaching a goal, right?
You should be so fuckingproud of yourself for
getting to where you were.
But the most importantthing is that I hope you
loved yourself through thejourney of getting there.
Because what I've found,especially in all of the,
(24:36):
especially in regards to my bodyand all of the changes my body's
gone through, the weight I'vegained and the weight I've lost.
Is that if I didn't give myselflove in the journey of being a
better version of myself, thenI just end up back where I was.
And I think that's themost important thing.
(24:59):
Especially when it comesto social media too.
Your journey is so completelydifferent from everybody else's.
And to be honest with you, whatwe consume and the things that
we see Even the things that wehear from our family and our
friends and the people thatare close to us or co workers,
whoever it may be, we're noteven hearing the whole story
(25:19):
or how much grit, how muchwork and how much determination
and discipline and how muchlove and how much consistency
and how much they had to lovethemselves to get to where they
were, how much work they hadto do to get to where they are.
Something to consider.
Love you! A big part of lovingourselves is consideration
(25:45):
for the environmentsthat we are a part of.
The communities thatwe are a part of.
That includes ourdigital environment, our
digital communities, ourphysical environment,
our physical communities.
What we surround ourselves withis going to have A positive or
negative, or both, effect on us.
(26:09):
And if we can control it,which in most cases we have
some extent of control to theenvironments that we partake
in, the communities thatwe are a part of, if we can
have some sort of control onwhether or not we want to be
a part of those environments,Why not make it an environment
(26:29):
or a community that is goingto positively affect us?
When we recognize, listen, andsee things, really see things,
really listen to things, andunderstand how they affect us,
(26:54):
we can love whowe are a lot more.
Because we can understand,because we can really
get to the root of howsomething is affecting us.
Whether it's causing us stress,pain, happiness, creativity.
We'll start to learn ourselves.
(27:15):
We'll start to learnmore about ourselves.
And in turn, hopefully,love ourselves more.
Thank you so much for tuningin to today's podcast episode.
I appreciate you tothe moon and back.
I will see you guys inthe next podcast episode
every other Sunday at12 o'clock Eastern Time.
(27:38):
I love you so much.
Bye!
Pay attention to what you pay attention to.
There is so mucharound us to consume.
We have the access and theavailability now, present
day, to consume so muchdifferent content, information,
(00:22):
knowledge than ever before.
But have you stopped fora second and thought What
you pay attention to most.
Welcome back to the SelfLove Archives podcast.
I'm your host, Julia Salvia,your self love bestie,
(00:43):
your self love guide, yourself love best friend.
I am all of the above andthen some, and I'm so grateful
that you are here today.
Welcome to episode number 31,and we are going to be really
getting into this whole topicof all of this information
that we have the opportunityto consume, but how can that
(01:06):
affect our self love journey?
How can that affect our mindset?
How can that affect us?
Because it can affect usin so many different ways.
It's kind of a double edgedsword in a lot of ways because
while it sounds like such apositive thing that we have
the ability to Connect toso many different people, to
(01:30):
consume all of this differentcreativity and information.
It can also be a detrimentto our own selves, our souls,
our journey, our heart.
There's so much to dive into.
With this statement ofpaying attention to what
we pay attention to.
(01:51):
What we really pay attention to.
What we give our energy to.
Pay attention to whatyou pay attention to is
a quote by John Green.
I heard the quote from thisamazing podcaster and she
has an amazing advice column.
Her name is Hayes andI've talked about her
on my podcast before.
(02:11):
She's so lovely.
I would dream, I would dieto have her here with us
today to really chat aboutso many different things.
She's incredibly insightful.
But when she said this, itreally connected to this theme
of what I had been doing formyself, which is looking into
(02:32):
and being a lot more awareof all of these things that
I am giving my energy to.
All of these things thatI am paying attention to.
I was having a conversation withone of you guys in DM, The gist
of the conversation is somethingthat I have heard multiple times
(02:52):
from multiple different people.
It's that I can't lovemyself because of this.
I can't love myselfbecause of that.
I can't love myself becauseI'm trying to get to this
point, or this part, or thisgoal, or I'm trying to reach
this, I'm trying to losethat, I'm trying to do that.
We talked a little bit moreabout this in the last episode,
(03:16):
about loving yourself and whyyou can't love yourself, but
I want to hone in, I want tofocus in more on this topic
of how the content and thebooks and the information
that we are consuming canalso be a detriment to helping
us love ourselves more.
(03:36):
But again, it's adouble edged sword.
It can also be a reallypositive thing as well if
you're consuming the rightcontent, the right information,
or surrounding yourselfwith the right people.
Have you ever taken a momentto look at really look at,
not mindlessly scroll, notmindlessly have conversations,
(04:02):
but to really look at thecontent that you consume, the
content, wording, lessons thatyou pay attention to, the things
that people say and how theyaffect you, the people that
you surround yourself with.
Have you ever stopped andreally paid attention?
(04:24):
to what they're saying,what someone is saying,
the type of content thatyou're being fed online.
There's two ways tolook at it, right?
You have the people andthe environment that you
actually are in and then youhave the digital environment
(04:45):
that you spend your time in.
So you have the physicalworld and the digital world.
Have you stopped?
Taken a step back and justtaken a look at what you're
really paying attention to.
What content you're consuming.
What words are you holdingonto from conversations?
What places and environmentsare you spending a
(05:08):
lot of your time in?
And what do thoseenvironments look like?
What does your digitalenvironment look like and
what does your physicalenvironment look like?
I'd almost consider your digitalenvironment, the people that you
follow and the content that youconsume and the people that you
watch is almost like the peoplethat you surround yourself
(05:30):
with in this physical world.
While we can compare themin this very surface level
way, of course, the physicalworld, we live where we live.
We have family and friendsand we surround ourselves
with these people.
And sometimes it's, of coursewe can make boundaries, create
(05:52):
boundaries and what not.
But we can't unfollowthese people.
Or we can't move our home to adifferent social media platform.
We have a little bit moreof a choice when it comes
to our digital environments.
Now you know when you're onsocial media and let's say that
(06:13):
you saw a video of a puppy.
And not just any puppy,but it is a chocolate
lab with green eyes.
And then all of asudden, tomorrow, you're
seeing a chocolate labwith green eyes again.
And then all of a suddenyou're going to your For You
page and You're seeing morechocolate labs with green eyes.
(06:36):
And then all of a suddenyou're seeing more and more
videos of those chocolate labs.
The way that most socialmedia platforms work is that
it takes information fromhow you interact and engage
with other pieces of content.
(06:57):
So if you're looking at videosof Chocolate Labs with Green
Eyes and you're consuming thatcontent and you're watching
it, your retention rate, whichis how long you've watched
the video for, is till thevery end and then you're
watching it again and again.
they're going tofeed you more videos.
Those platforms aregoing to feed you more
(07:17):
videos just like that.
So while there's nothinginherently wrong about consuming
content of a chocolate labwith green eyes, because that
can bring you a sense of joyand a sense of happiness and
a little bit of a relaxationin the middle of the day.
(07:38):
Are there pieces of contentthat you're consuming or
videos that you keep comingacross that maybe don't have
that positive effect on you?
Maybe they have anegative effect on you.
Maybe they leave you feelingnot so good about yourself.
(08:00):
And maybe it's notthe piece of content.
Maybe it's what this pieceof content brings out in you.
Let's say that you arefeeling a bit insecure
with how your body looks.
You're seeing that your socialmedia pages are feeding you a
(08:24):
lot of content of women who arenot the same body type as you.
Women who don't dressthe same as you.
And women who seem to beextremely confident in
their bodies, how theylook, And what they wear.
And every time you view thispiece of content, you finish
(08:46):
watching these videos, and youjust feel worse about yourself.
You feel as though yourbody, your style, and who
you are isn't good enough.
Because you've now just beenpaying attention to all of
this content that provides theassumption that this person
(09:11):
loves their bodies, isn'tinsecure about their body.
But the reality of it is thatyou don't actually know if
that person is insecure or not.
You're consuming contentthat is making you feel
(09:32):
more insecure about yourselfbecause you're making the
assumption that this is whatyou're supposed to look like.
That this is the norm, this isthe goal, this is the person
that your, that your brain hasdecided you're supposed to be.
(09:54):
That the only people that existout there, because that's all
your social media is feedingyou, is that type of woman.
When that's not true.
And I know you knowthat it's not true.
That's why we need topay attention to the
content that we consume.
(10:16):
Because we have control over thecontent that we consume, right?
If we are paying attention tovideos on food, or videos on
puppies, we're gonna get fedmore of those types of videos.
Social media is smart.
But I don't think that socialmedia works against us.
(10:38):
It actually works for us, whichcan be a double edged sword
because it can put us in thiscircle, this world of thinking
that only these certain people,only these certain things exist.
Our physical environmentscan do the same for us.
(11:00):
When I grew up, I didnot know the half of
it, the quarter of it.
I didn't know, I didn'tknow anything about the
world that existed beyondthe town that I grew up in.
Because we didn'ttravel too much.
We didn't reallyget to experience.
(11:21):
this life outside of thislittle town in the middle
of New Jersey that I grewup in, and this little beach
town that I grew up in.
I didn't have the accessto explore, and I didn't
really grow up, so to speak,with social media to the
(11:42):
extent that we have today.
So there's this doubleedged sword of being in
control of the contentthat you want to consume.
The content that you'reaware of and pushing social
media to feed to you.
And also being in this placeof it only feeding you the
(12:06):
things that you want it to,the things that you enjoy.
That it could could createthis bubble if we're not
aware of what we're being fed.
Now that we have thisopportunity, this giant
world of information, wehave more societal norms.
(12:32):
There are so many moreThings for others to see,
for others to judge, andfor others to question.
Especially if we're puttingout content into the world.
We're giving, we'regiving the opportunity.
Doesn't mean it's right, butwe're giving the opportunity
to everyone across the globe tohave a say, or to make judgment,
(12:57):
or have an opinion on us.
So what type of contentshould you be consuming?
What content should yoube paying attention to?
I believe that if you canrecognize that everything you're
seeing, while it may be true,you're not seeing everything.
(13:21):
But there is a way to kindof, Cheat the system in
this digital environment.
And that's by choosingwhat you consume.
So what content, whatinformation, what
platforms, what shouldyou actually be consuming?
(13:44):
I think this answeris up to you.
But if I were to answer this,if I were to tell you the types
of content that I consume, Iconsume content from people
that make me feel inspired.
I consume content from peoplethat make me feel creative.
(14:06):
From people that bring me joy.
from Content that brings mejoy We do have that choice on
our platforms to choose who wefollow And who we don't follow
or who we mute or who we don'tmute on our platforms Take into
consideration and don't feel badabout it who you deliberately
(14:31):
click follow for or subscribefor Because at the end of the
day that is the content thatyou're going to be Consuming.
That's the content that youare going to be learning from.
That you are going to be seeingday in and day out because you
chose to follow this person.
(14:52):
Because you chose towatch this entire video.
If a piece of content or a videodoesn't make you feel good about
yourself, ask the question, why?
Why doesn't that pieceof content make you feel
good about yourself?
Is it because the contentdoesn't align with your
values as a person?
(15:14):
Is it because of maybean insecurity that you
have with yourself?
Is it because you don't agreewith what the person has to say?
Is it because it just doesn'tleave you feeling comfortable?
creative, or inspired, or kind.
(15:36):
Maybe the piece ofcontent is mean.
If that's the case, stopwatching that type of content.
Unfollow that person.
And please don'tfeel bad about it.
Because this isyour environment.
Just like we createour environments
(16:02):
In the physical world,we create our environment
in the digital world.
You have the opportunity tofollow like minded people,
to follow and consume contentfrom people that make you feel
creative, happy, inspired,positive, that make you think.
(16:27):
You have the opportunity tochoose the type of experience
that you want to have inyour own digital environment,
on your digital platforms.
And you can say the same forthe physical world as well.
You have the opportunityto choose who you want
to spend your time with.
To choose where you want to go,how you want to live your life.
(16:53):
At the end of the day, Ofcourse, there are so many
little, little things toconsider, but at the end of the
day, you do have that choice.
I want to share withyou my private DMs
with one of my lovely viewers.
(17:15):
She asked such a wonderfulquestion to me and I loved, not
to pat myself on the back, but Iloved my response to her because
it really brought full circle.
One of the biggest questionsthat a lot of people asked.
Talk to me about or ask meabout and it has to do with
(17:36):
social media and the contentthat we consume and How
that has an adverse effecton us and loving ourselves
more Hi honey, how are you?
The wind chimes in thebackground sound so cute.
Congrats to you onlosing 35 pounds.
(17:56):
That's definitely somethingthat is so amazing,
if that was your goal.
Social media is, socialmedia, whether social media
existed or not, I think thatwe just have so much more
things to consume and morepeople that we have access to.
(18:17):
that it's overwhelming tosee so many things happening.
I think all of us, men included,um, we are shamed into thinking
that there are certain partsof ourselves that are negative,
(18:38):
that are bad, that aren'tgood enough, that need to be
changed, that are shameful.
And because of that, there,when you're looking at social
media or you're just like,you know, conversing or
seeing the people around you.
You have no idea whatis going on behind the
(19:01):
closed doors, right?
You don't know what is insideof the book unless you read it.
It's kind of like that wholesaying, like, you know, don't
judge a book by its cover.
But it's so true becauseon social media we get to
choose, like, the chaptersand the pieces of these books.
Like of our book we get tochoose what parts of that
(19:23):
we want to share even me Youknow, even as someone who
is maybe a little bit morevulnerable and a little bit
more vocal and a little bitmore Um open on social media
There are still so many thingsthat people don't know because
there are certain thingsthat I choose to not share
So it puts us in this reallydifficult place when Here we are
(19:49):
And we're reaching these certaingoals of ours, and we are trying
to choose to love ourselves.
And we are trying tojust love ourselves.
And all we see around us arethese, are only these certain
pieces of other people.
(20:11):
And I think that's why it's sodifficult to love ourselves.
That's why social mediacan be You know, not the
greatest place for everyone.
That's why some people it'sfor some people It's a really
great to take a break orto mute someone's profile
or to unfollow or to notconsume but we have One we
(20:32):
have control over the contentthat we choose to consume as
much as we think that TikTokInstagram is feeding it to us.
We are actually the ones andI actually love this topic.
I might even I might evenlike, if you don't mind, um,
I might record, I'll like doa little screen recording and
grab all of this for anotherpodcast episode, because I
(20:54):
love this conversation, becauseit just gives a different
perspective, but We are atthe end of the day in control
of what we consume, and thenInstagram and TikTok takes that
information of what we consumeand kind of feeds it back to us.
So if we're consumingpuppies all day and Those
(21:15):
weird videos of that.
I don't know if you've everseen those weird videos of like
this popcorny Like looking foodthat just gets thrown into this
giant metal pan and pops upinto like this Popcorn, I don't
even know if you if you knowwhat i'm talking about, you know
what i'm talking about if youknow, you know Um, then that's
(21:37):
what the social media platformsare going to feed us It's kind
of the same way You Just in adifferent facet that whoever we
spend the most time with are thepeople who are going to kind of
have influence on us, are goingto be the type of conversations
and lives that we are consuming.
We get to choosewhat we consume.
(21:58):
So what I wanted to sayis that we're not seeing
so many other chapters andparts of these books that
people are creating for us.
because they're only sharingparts and pieces of it.
And we might never actuallyfinish reading that whole book.
We never, we mightnever get the chance to.
(22:22):
Because that's, it's kindof like a private journal,
private diary of each ofthese people that we're
consuming content from.
So I challenge you tolook at the content you
consume in a different way.
So, I challenge you tolook at the content you
consume in a different way.
Not everything you see, thateverything you see may be
(22:44):
true, but it's not, you'renot seeing everything.
And may I also add, becauseI had a, I hope, I hope this
is, this is insightful bythe way, because I actually
had a call with my intuitiveteacher earlier today.
That was very lovely.
And we were actually talkingabout, My challenge, which I
(23:06):
will probably change the nameof challenge to journey because
I think challenge can be alittle, a little too rough, and
I don't want this challenge orthis journey to be something
that comes off so masculine.
Discipline and motivation, thosewords sometimes can be really
(23:27):
rooted in a lot of harshness.
and a lot of criticalnessof ourselves.
I think having discipline isgreat and being motivated and
creating motivation is sucha wonderful thing because
we need those things, right?
We need that in order topush ourselves to get,
we need that in order to pushourselves to get to the next
(23:50):
level or to be the betterversion of ourselves, right?
We need to have that, we needto create discipline in order
to feel and create motivation.
to help us be the bestversion of ourselves in
whatever way that is.
But there's also a kindness,a gratefulness that we need to
(24:14):
have with ourselves, especiallywhen we're in the process of
like reaching a goal, right?
You should be so fuckingproud of yourself for
getting to where you were.
But the most importantthing is that I hope you
loved yourself through thejourney of getting there.
Because what I've found,especially in all of the,
(24:36):
especially in regards to my bodyand all of the changes my body's
gone through, the weight I'vegained and the weight I've lost.
Is that if I didn't give myselflove in the journey of being a
better version of myself, thenI just end up back where I was.
And I think that's themost important thing.
(24:59):
Especially when it comesto social media too.
Your journey is so completelydifferent from everybody else's.
And to be honest with you, whatwe consume and the things that
we see Even the things that wehear from our family and our
friends and the people thatare close to us or co workers,
whoever it may be, we're noteven hearing the whole story
(25:19):
or how much grit, how muchwork and how much determination
and discipline and how muchlove and how much consistency
and how much they had to lovethemselves to get to where they
were, how much work they hadto do to get to where they are.
Something to consider.
Love you! A big part of lovingourselves is consideration
(25:45):
for the environmentsthat we are a part of.
The communities thatwe are a part of.
That includes ourdigital environment, our
digital communities, ourphysical environment,
our physical communities.
What we surround ourselves withis going to have A positive or
negative, or both, effect on us.
(26:09):
And if we can control it,which in most cases we have
some extent of control to theenvironments that we partake
in, the communities thatwe are a part of, if we can
have some sort of control onwhether or not we want to be
a part of those environments,Why not make it an environment
(26:29):
or a community that is goingto positively affect us?
When we recognize, listen, andsee things, really see things,
really listen to things, andunderstand how they affect us,
(26:54):
we can love whowe are a lot more.
Because we can understand,because we can really
get to the root of howsomething is affecting us.
Whether it's causing us stress,pain, happiness, creativity.
We'll start to learn ourselves.
(27:15):
We'll start to learnmore about ourselves.
And in turn, hopefully,love ourselves more.
Thank you so much for tuningin to today's podcast episode.
I appreciate you tothe moon and back.
I will see you guys inthe next podcast episode
every other Sunday at12 o'clock Eastern Time.
(27:38):
I love you so much.
Bye!
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