April 27, 2025 • 47 mins
choosing yourself isn’t always easy—but it is always worth it.
in this episode, we’re talking about four powerful lessons that help you build self-trust, say yes even when you’re scared, and show up before you feel fully ready. if you’ve been waiting for a sign to go all in on you, this might be it. this is your reminder that courage isn’t about being fearless—it’s about choosing you anyway.
grab your tickets to the first ever immersive self-love experience here
connect with julia on instagram @beautybyjulia + tik tok @juliasalvia
unlock more archive content on instagram @theselflovearchive + tik tok @theselflovearchives
sign up for the self-love archives newsletter: www.theselflovearchives.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Julia Salvia (00:00):
There is a ripple effect when you decide
to choose yourself publicly.
Choose yourself in general, buteven more so when you choose
yourself publicly in frontof other people, in front of
friends, in front of family.
If you are a content creator,which I feel like we all could
just be one nowadays, like ifwe own a business or if we are
(00:23):
working for a business or weare actually an influencer or
creator or something like that,like we all are a creator.
Even if you just have yourown little diary online.
But when you chooseyourself publicly.
You create a rippleeffect for other people
to also choose themselves.
You become an inspirationfor other people to
(00:47):
choose themselves.
And not just to choosethemselves, but to choose
themselves in the mostirrevocable, honest
and transparent way.
'cause I don't know aboutyou, but I could tell.
When someone isn't being fullyhonest and transparent, when
they're not being fully andirrevocably themselves, and
(01:10):
I'm not talking about spillingthe beans on every single
little detail of their life.
No, I'm talking about just beingtruly and honestly who they are.
That's inspiring to chooseyourself and to do it so
openly, to do it in a waywhere you don't care what
(01:30):
anyone has to say about it.
Because you're choosing you.
It doesn't matter whatanybody else has to say
because all that matters isthat you are choosing you.
You know exactly who you are.
You know exactly whatyou are capable of,
and that's everything.
By the way, anythingand everything.
(01:51):
It is so powerful to do that.
To stand on top of themountain and scream,
I am choosing myself.
Do it.
Stand up right now.
Say it.
I am choosing myself.
If there's anything that Iwant you to take away from
(02:11):
today's episode, from joiningthe Self-Love Collective,
by being a self-love bestiewith me, by listening to the
Self-Love Archives podcast,coming to our events, anything,
at the very least, at thevery minimum, the only thing.
The number one thing thatI want you to take away
from today's episode isthat it is so incredibly
(02:36):
powerful to choose yourself,and I hope that after today's
episode you'll do exactly that.
(02:56):
Welcome back to theSelf-Love Archives podcast.
I am your self love bestie.
Julia Salvia, welcome.
If you're new here.
Hi.
You are about tochange your life today.
If you are new here, andif you've been here, I
hope that you are alreadyon the path to choosing
yourself, loving yourselfmore, and changing your life.
(03:17):
I hope it's been life changing.
When you finally realizethe most important person
in your life is you.
I did something crazy atthe beginning of this year.
You might already know about it.
You might not already know aboutit, but the Self-Love archives
has created the first everimmersive self-love experience.
(03:43):
And this is not like an ad,like I am not going to try
to convince you to come.
I'm hoping that by theend of it, you realize
how insane it is that.
I and my very small team, ak,my assistant and my boyfriend,
I get free labor from.
(04:04):
I hope you know thatthis event is so much
more than just an event.
It's so much morethan just an event.
The crazy decision thatI decided to make at the
beginning of the year was to.
Go ahead and secure the venuefor Bloom, our immersive
(04:25):
self-love experience.
And what was crazy aboutit is that it was $12,000.
This venue was actually morethan that, and I've actually
been told throughout my entirelife to never talk about.
Finances to never speakso openly about them.
And I think I never havebecause it was always really
(04:48):
scary to do so, especiallyin so many different ways.
Um, I think thatthere's a lot of shame tied to
money and tied to finances anda lot of different opinions
on money and finances.
And I think for me.
(05:11):
I really try hard to understandand realize that every single
cent that I ever spend is onlycoming back to me tenfold.
Every single dollar thatI spend, that you spend,
every single dollar thatyou spend is going to
come back to you tenfold.
So if you spend, you know,$10 today on a coffee, that's
(05:33):
a really expensive coffee.
I hope it's a good one.
It's gonna comeback to you tenfold.
Tomorrow, a week fromnow, you are going to
get a hundred dollars.
You're gonna make a hundreddollars, you're gonna
find a hundred dollars.
You're gonna get a check inthe mail for a hundred dollars.
It's gonna come back to youtenfold, a hundred fold.
And that's the way thatwe all should view money.
(05:58):
So I all that to say I made avery financially irresponsible.
Choice decision at thebeginning of this year to book
this venue for Bloom, $12,000Tutu Lu, buy down the drain.
And if I cancel this contractor rescind it and not go
through with the event, Ilose out on half of that.
(06:21):
And that's kind of scary, right?
That's kind of scaryto say, oh, well
that wasn't financially smart,but actually what if it was?
What if this decision was thebest decision of my entire life?
What if making this decisionright here changes the
(06:44):
trajectory of how thenext couple of months,
years of my life goes?
What if that huge decision,whether it's a financial
decision or a a locationdecision or just a really big
decision, what if that changesthe trajectory of where your
(07:06):
life takes you after that?
The funny thing is, isyou're not actually going
to know you're gonna makethis decision, and you could
think whatever you want.
I can sit here and tell youthat this was a financially
irresponsible decision, butI tend to think that that's
actually an opinion, not a fact.
Because if the event issuccessful, and this changes
(07:31):
where the self-love archivesgoes, that wasn't a financially
irresponsible decision.
That was a very bold andbrave and courageous decision.
That was a smartfucking decision.
That's the funny thing aboutlife is that we could sit here
and make assumptions about whata huge decision is going to.
(07:57):
How it's going toaffect us, right?
How it's going tochange our lives.
And we could think in thismoment that this decision
whether we are actuallymaking the decision or it's
kind of happening for us,kind of like one of those
blessing in disguise moments.
We could sit here and say that,yeah, X, Y, and Z is going to
(08:18):
happen after I make this choice.
But how do you know that X, Y,and Z is actually gonna happen?
How do you know that if you moveacross the country or across the
world, that it's actually goingto be the best decision for you?
How do you know that if youhave to move for a job or move
(08:42):
to a different place because ofwhatever the reason, how do you
know that that's going to be theworst decision you've ever made?
You, you don't, you don'tactually know how it's
going to work out for you.
So why not make the choiceto make bold decisions?
(09:05):
Why not do things that are big?
In January, every single year,a thought comes to my head,
it's kind of like a light bulbgoes off, and the light bulb is
usually on a word or a phrase.
It's like either in conversationor I see it somewhere, or
(09:25):
I'm journaling or talkingto myself as one does,
and a light bulb goes offand I'm like, that's it.
That's the theme.
That's 2020.
Whatever.
That's what our focus is gonnabe on this year and this year.
I said this is theyear of going big.
(09:47):
This is the year where I amdone making myself small.
This is the year where we areall done making ourselves small.
We are capable of so much,so why aren't you doing it?
Why aren't you puttingyourself in rooms that you are
(10:09):
totally capable of speakingin, sitting, in, being in?
Why aren't you puttingyourself out there?
Why aren't you publicly andwithout shame choosing you?
(10:30):
That's what it is, right?
Making decisions and doingthings that are scary, that
are big, that are bold, thatare brave, that are courageous.
Doing things that areall of those things.
Most importantly, scary.
Doing things that arescary, doing things for you
(10:52):
is choosing yourself,building this self-love expo.
Has taught me so much aboutchoosing myself, and I
want to share with you alittle bit of the behind
the scenes and a little bitof that process of how this
(11:15):
self-love event is actuallyhelping me choose myself.
And in today's episode,I wanna share four of
those lessons with you.
So let's get into it.
Lesson number one, say yes.
Even when you're scared,make the choice to do it.
(11:39):
Even if you're scared.
Do not let fear hold youback because it will,
it will hold you back.
There's this fear.
That pops up when you areready to do something big.
(12:04):
When you are ready tostart choosing yourself.
And I'm not talking about likethe little things like choosing
yourself, waking up and, andgoing to buy yourself flowers.
No, no, no.
I'm talking aboutthe big things.
That's what thisepisode is about.
We're talking aboutthe big things, the
scary decisions that.
You really can't evenforesee how it's going to
(12:27):
play out for you, right?
Because this decision is sobig, this decision is scary.
This is one of those decisionslike you are entering
into a new relationship.
You are buying a new house,buying a new car, you are
moving to a different place.
You are making a huge decisionthat's going to change
(12:49):
your life as it is today.
That fear that settled intoyour body that you feel
is the only thing that'sgoing to stop you from
actually making the decision.
We've talked about this ina couple of other episodes.
(13:11):
There's a couple of differentways to decipher fear from
genuine fear of your safety.
And those are two differenttypes of feelings that
I hope that you are ableto decipher for yourself.
For myself, when I feeltightness or fear in my chest,
(13:36):
that is how I know that I amsafe, that there is nothing
that is going to harm me, thatit is just an uncomfortable
feeling or decision.
That I'm about to or lookingto make if I am feeling fear
in my gut, kind of like thatgut intuitive feeling, that
(13:59):
is the fear that I feel whenI am unsafe, when a decision
is not aligning with me,and that's super important.
When thinking about this typeof fear that you are feeling,
I'm talking about that.
That feeling of ofbeing scared because you
don't know what's next.
(14:21):
That feeling that you get whenyou don't actually know how this
decision is going to affect yourlife, that is exactly how I felt
when making this decision to goreally big for bloom this year.
It was scary to go from theevent that we had in 2024 to
(14:46):
basically jumping to an eventthat's five times bigger.
But I knew in my intuition,my gut, my gut was saying,
no, this is the rightdecision, but my chest is
telling me that I'm scared.
And not because I'm fearfulof my safety, not because I
(15:07):
don't think this is the rightdecision, but because this
decision is uncomfortable.
That is the fear I'm talkingabout that uncomfortableness,
that that fear that'sjust uncomfortable.
Like it's uncomfortable tosit in this decision because
you don't know what's next,because we can't see the future.
(15:30):
We don't know whatthe future holds.
And although we can sit hereand our intuition is telling us
this is a good decision rightnow, it doesn't feel good.
Our bodies inherently andnaturally just like to be
comfortable and content right,because that keeps us safe.
(15:53):
But there's a differencebetween jumping into a.
Higher version of yourself.
And staying put andstaying comfortable.
We live in a whole differentworld now where we can make bold
decisions and do crazy things.
(16:16):
I mean, I love this quotethat's actually in our venue.
Bell Works if youhaven't heard of it.
Um.
It's basically where they filmseverance, that TV show on
Apple tv and they have a littlelike stone in a flower pot,
and it's an Albert Einsteinquote, and this quote says, only
(16:39):
those who attempt the absurdcan achieve the impossible.
Let me say it again for you.
Only those whoattempt the absurd.
Can achieve the impossible.
So basically, if you arecrazy enough to attempt
(17:00):
something to do something,to make the decision to
create something or takeaction on one of your dreams,
you are the type ofperson that can achieve.
What no one else can.
What someone who isn'ttaking those chances can.
(17:24):
Lesson number two.
Oh my gosh, this one,this one digs deep for me.
Keep showing up even whenyou aren't 100% confident.
I was listening toan old episode here.
On the Self-Love Archives,actually episode eight
(17:44):
where I talk about the smallthings that changed my life.
I was re-listening to itbecause I am filming a part
two because there are a lotof things that have changed
my life, including all thelessons I'm providing you today.
They really havechanged my life.
I don't know how I would be.
(18:05):
Doing this if I really didn'ttake all of these to heart and
really just make it happen.
As I'm listening to thisepisode, I'm realizing that
there's a, I sound differentnow in my podcast episodes.
I sound more confident.
I sound more relaxed.
I sound like I know whatI'm doing and that happens
(18:31):
for so many things.
We're never gonnahave all the answers.
We are not gonna knowhow to do everything.
We're gonna have to teachourselves how to do this, and
we're gonna have to Google that,but don't let that hold you
back from actually doing it.
(18:51):
I cannot tell you how many timesin my life, and I'm sure in
your life and in our lives, thatwe hold ourself back because
we're not 100% confident.
What we're doing or whatwe're choosing, you need
to be a fraction of thatto actually get started.
You need to be confident inyour ability, not confident
(19:17):
in the actionable steps, notconfident in every piece of it.
You need to be confident in youand what you are capable of.
And as long as you are confidentin you and you trust yourself,
you'll make it happen.
(19:37):
You'll figure it out.
You'll find someone that cancreate the emails for you.
You'll find someone that canmove you into this new place.
You'll teach yourselfhow to do this.
You'll purchase to makeit easier to do that.
(19:59):
As long as you have confidencein yourself and what you are
capable of, and may I remindyou, you are capable of so
much more than you think,then do not let the lack of
confidence in your knowledgeof something hold you back.
(20:19):
There are a lot of things about.
Bloom that I don'tknow how to do.
I have never hosted an eventthis big, let's be honest.
But that doesn't meanthat I can't, that doesn't
mean that I'm not capable.
That doesn't mean that I'mnot going to host the most
amazing self-love event.
(20:42):
It doesn't mean any of that.
That just means that.
I am going to need to learnhow to do some things or find
someone that can fill thosegaps on the things that I
might not know how to do ormight not be educated on.
That means I have toask more questions.
(21:03):
That means I need to let chatGBT organize my thoughts.
That means that I might needto hire a friend or ask for
help, but what it doesn'tmean is that I'm not capable.
Your lack of confidence, justlike the fear in your chest will
(21:23):
hold you back, but as long asyou are trusting in who you are
and trusting in your ability andyour capability and your drive
and motivation to make thishappen, whatever it is.
(21:46):
Do it.
Do it.
There's a quote somewhere thatI read that you really only
need to know 10% more thansomeone else to actually teach
someone how to do something,and another one that might
help perfection also.
(22:09):
That also holds you back, andI feel like that's tied in with
this whole confidence thing.
We need to feel, we feel likewe need to know everything.
We need to have all of theanswers to actually get started.
But that confidence in yourability, as long as you know
that you are capable, theconfidence in your ability to
(22:30):
make these things happen willbuild as you make it happen.
It's kind of like lookingback on yourself and
saying, who am I to do this?
What do you mean?
Who you?
Who are you to do this?
You are you and you are capableof absolutely anything that
you wanna be capable of.
(22:52):
Whatever you are in the midstof choosing for yourself,
you are deserving of that,and how it comes to fruition
may not fully be up to you.
But it's up to you tomake the choice to do it.
You don't have tobe 100% confident
(23:15):
what you need to be 100%confident in what you need
to 100% trust is you, andknowing deep down that you
are capable of anything.
Number three kind of goes alongwith number two, self trust
(23:38):
builds in layers over time.
That confidence that you arelooking for, that you think that
you need to have right now inorder to do all of these things,
that's going to build over time.
The more that you put thetime, the work, the money,
the education, whatever it is.
(23:59):
The more that you put into this,the more you are going to trust
yourself to make it happen.
It's in the small stepsthat all of this builds up.
It's not in the giant leaps thatyou take, at least not always.
It's in the small stepsthat you take to get there.
(24:21):
When I was in college, I,I remember very little from
college, but when I was incollege, we had a professor
in my entrepreneurshipdegree, and this professor
always talked about it was asmall business class, right?
So we always talked aboutour goals and how to reach
these goals, especiallywhen these goals are huge.
(24:42):
You have this goal ofbasically the, the decision
that you wanna make.
So let's say you wanna move, youwanna move across the country.
And this move is scary.
It's uncomfortable, it'scostly, and it's gonna take
a couple of things for youto change or for you to
do before you can actuallymake that decision happen.
(25:06):
What you're gonna do, I'mmore of a visual person.
I love, I love this idea of, ofkind of working with your hands.
You can use Post-its,you can use note cards.
You can do it digitallyif you really want to.
I love taking a note.
Like a little notebook.
What is it?
A pad, A sticky,what is it called?
(25:27):
A post-it Jesus.
Taking a post-it, writing yourgoal on this, post-it, and
putting it at the top of thewall, as high as you can reach.
I'm only five four, so Iprobably wouldn't be that high.
And then I'm gonna work myway down from that goal of all
of the steps that it's gonnatake to actually get there.
(25:50):
So if I'm looking to move acrossthe country, I need $10,000
before I can make that decisionto say, okay, I'm moving there.
I need to find outwhere I'm moving.
I need to figure out howI'm gonna get my car there.
Am I gonna drive it there?
Am I gonna ship it there?
Am I going to get rid ofmy car and get a new car?
(26:13):
Am I going to drive a rental?
Am I gonna fly there?
How am I getting there?
And then I'm going to maybedownsize what I'm working with.
I have tons of clothes andtons of stuff, and with
this move I want to getrid of half of my things.
So from this main goalat the top of moving to
(26:35):
California, 'cause that'shalfway across the country,
or not halfway, that's, that'sacross the country for me.
If we're considering Hawaii.
Then it's halfway, and then allof these smaller goals still
bigger, but all of these smallergoals need to happen in order
for us to be able to move.
But how am I goingto make that $10,000?
(27:00):
Where is it coming from?
I list all of the ways thatI'm gonna get to that $10,000.
Let's say I need to pick upa, a second job and I need to
sell some of the stuff thatI'm trying to get rid of.
And, um, I can putaway 10% of my paycheck
to this $10,000 goal.
So those three goals thengo under, make $10,000 or
(27:24):
save $10,000 so I can move.
Then the next one, if I'mgonna decide to downsize and
get rid of half of my stuff,how am I going to do that?
How am I going toreach that goal?
Am I gonna donate things?
Am I gonna sell things?
Am I going to give away things?
How are you going toactually downsize?
(27:45):
And essentially what youcan do with this is you
keep breaking down thegoal until the bigger goal.
Is broken down into all of thesevery small goals that are much
more achievable because when welook at a huge goal like, Hey,
let's host an expo, a self-loveexpo event for that, you know,
(28:06):
a thousand people, it seemsoverwhelming soul crushing even.
'cause you're like, how the hellam I gonna do this by myself?
Well.
You are because you are, andyou can, because you're just
gonna break it down into,into smaller goals, into
much more chewable pieces.
I mean, you get abig 16 ounce steak.
(28:26):
Right.
16 ounce steak, huge bowl ofmac and cheese, whatever it is.
You're gonna break it down.
You're gonna cut it inlittle pieces so that your
body and yourself, youcan actually digest it.
You could actually fit it intoyour mouth, chew it, digest it.
You know?
You know how it goes.
You know how it goes whenyou eat a steak or a big
bowl of mac and cheese.
(28:48):
That's what you're gonnado with your goals.
You're gonna make each of thelarger goals that you have,
you're gonna break them downto make them more digestible,
to make them more approachable.
Because when you do it thatway, you're like, oh yeah,
I could easily go donatea bunch of these clothes.
I can, I can easily justput, you know, 10% of my
(29:10):
paycheck to the side tosave up that 10 grand.
I can definitely research some.
Apartments or homes for rentout there in California, you
can do these things and itmakes it so much easier to
do them when you break itdown into digestible pieces.
That is a huge way that weare able to make bloom happen
(29:36):
with such a small team.
Everything is in digestiblepieces and digestible goals.
And it's also timegiving yourself the
time to make it happen.
But we could sit here and saythat, and last year we made
bloom happen at three months.
So it's really how you approachit and how you break it down.
(30:04):
Everything for bloomis organized, it's laid
out, it's prioritized.
This big goal of hosting animmersive self-love event is
a lot more than just hostingan immersive self-love event.
There's a lot of parts moving,parts and pieces and people and
(30:24):
people to hire and attendeesto share the information with.
There's a lot of differentpieces, but when all of these
goals are broken down intodigestible little things, it
makes it a lot easier to say.
Okay.
Check done.
Okay, need to do this checkdone, and then you can
(30:44):
move forward to actuallyreaching the bigger goal.
And sometimes just seeing itvisually on your wall, on a
vision board or in kind of likea little digital brainstorm
or drawing it out, whatever,whatever mode works for you.
Sometimes it's easier to see it.
(31:08):
In whatever one of thesemodes work for you.
Modems modes.
I've been using that word alot lately and I'm obviously
not sure how to use it, but inall of these different ways,
it's when you find the one thatworks for you, you can really
visually see it broken down thatyou are much more capable of
(31:29):
reaching these small goals thatthe bigger, more overwhelming,
scary goal doesn't seem.
As big anymore, how itfeels to invest in yourself.
This is more of a feelingthan it is a lesson.
It's incredibly empoweringto really start to choose
(31:55):
yourself, to really startinvesting in yourself, whether
that's with time, money.
Energy, love.
When you startpouring into yourself
the feeling that youfeel, it's, it's in,
(32:17):
it's actually incredible.
It's like, wow.
Finally you've gottenhere to this place.
And while there might be somehard things ahead and some hard
choices that you might needto make and some changes that
you might need to, to do to,to change, even though there
(32:42):
are all of these things andmaybe all of this uncertainty,
you're here in thismoment, like 16-year-old,
you would be screaming.
If she knew that this wasthe answer like that, that
you were deciding whether ornot to do this scream, like
(33:05):
she'd be screaming, okay.
She'd be like, you'rejoking younger.
You would be flipping out.
It is the best feeling in theworld to actually invest in you
in whatever way that might be.
Big or small.
(33:26):
I mean, we're talking aboutbig here, and it's freeing
to make that decision.
Have you ever left ajob or a relationship or
friendship and felt free?
Like it was hard, right?
(33:46):
You might be in literaltears, but you're like,
oh my God, I. I did that.
I am so proud of myself.
Yeah, I know the wayup is going to be hard.
It's going to bedifficult, but I did that.
I'm so proud of myself.
(34:08):
I'm so proud of you.
You started the first stepinto loving yourself more.
You started.
To step towards choosingyourself, you started the first
step into trusting yourself,to investing in yourself.
(34:34):
How are you going to make thelife of your dreams happen?
If you don't chooseyourself, if you don't just
start, if you don't makebig and scary decisions.
If you don't completesmall goals that lead
(34:55):
to the bigger one,choose yourself.
Invest in yourself.
Let it sink in.
Sit in that gratitude ofyou coming to this place of
courage where you finally arelike, no, I'm gonna do this.
(35:18):
Big, small, medium, whateverthe, whatever the size of
this choice in this decisionis this step forward.
I always picturelike a board game.
Are, are you, are you rollingthe die and, and getting a six?
Are you steppingsix feet forward?
Are you steppingjust one forward?
Whatever it is, sit inthat gratitude for this
(35:40):
choice that you just madefor the betterment of you.
For the growth of you hearyour higher self talking
to you, saying thank you.
Yes, you are onestep closer to me.
I mean, technically you are me.
(36:02):
Sit in that gratitude andbe forever grateful of how
brave and courageous youare in this moment to make
this choice for yourself.
To make this choice inloving yourself more, let
me give you a little recapon what we went over today.
These are four lessonsin choosing yourself.
(36:26):
Number one, say yes.
Even when you're scared, donot let fear hold you back.
Number two.
Show up even if you're notfeeling 100% confident.
Number three, self love andself trust builds in layers,
(36:51):
not necessarily leaps.
Break down your bigger goalsinto smaller, digestible ones.
And number four, giveyourself gratitude.
For investing in yourself.
Feel all of the feelings ofinvesting in yourself and
(37:15):
choosing yourself, whetherthat's by giving it more
energy, giving yourselfmore time, money, love.
Give yourself gratitude, feelinto all of the feelings that
you're feeling right now.
And look yourself in the mirrortoday and say, I'm proud of you.
(37:39):
'cause I'm proud of you.
Self-love is not always soft.
We're kind of fed this rhetoricthat self-love is real, all
rainbows and butterflies.
And while I. Do believethat self-love is the
rainbows and butterflies.
(38:00):
It's also what's atthe end of the rainbow.
It's also the clouds.
On a stormy day, it's therain, it's the snow, but
it's also the sunshine.
It's all of the above.
It's all in encompassingSelf-love is bold.
(38:22):
It's messy.
Can be scary.
It can ask you to godeeper with yourself.
Choosing yourself is not alwaysgoing to be an easy decision,
but what it's going to beis an empowering decision.
That decision that you maketoday for you, the one that's
(38:46):
going to change the trajectoryof how your life moves forward.
That decision.
That choice of self-love,that is self-love, that that
is, that is the decisionto choose yourself and
to love yourself more.
(39:07):
And the only thing thatyou're gonna do is look back
and be so incrediblygrateful that you decided
to put fear behind you.
To say fuck being ahundred percent confident,
I'm just gonna do thisbecause I'm confident.
Maybe not in my ability,but in my capability
(39:30):
to make this happen.
Because you are all of thethings that the world told you.
You are not.
You are enough, you are capable,and you are worthy of your
biggest and wildest dreams.
I hope that my courage to makethis crazy, insane decision
(39:56):
to host Bloom the first everimmersive self-love experience.
Coming to Bell Worksin Homedale New Jersey,
September 28th, 2025.
I hope my courage to moveforward with something
absolutely insane providesyou the permission.
(40:17):
To do the same.
I had a really amazingconversation with Nikki
from Willow and Jade.
We talked to her acouple of episodes ago.
It's episode 45, and wetalked a little bit about
Bloom, and I wanna share thatwith you so you can learn a
little bit more about thisamazing self-love event and
(40:39):
see if you'd like to attend.
All of the information isgoing to be in the show notes
and description down below,so make sure to check it out
and get your tickets to bloom,and I hope to see you there.
Loving yourself more.
Yeah, my friend goes, yay.
You're planning a wedding.
You are planning a wedding.
Mm-hmm.
For everyone else.
For everyone else, except Ihope we get the money back.
(41:02):
I think you will.
Thank you.
I think so.
It's gonna be awesome.
Bloom last year was.
I was so proud of you.
Thanks.
It was such beautifulevent and all of the,
the energy was excellent.
Thanks.
Like you really curatedan amazing event.
That's big.
Thank you.
And for your first one,like, what the hell?
Thank you.
I feel like I can't technicallysay it was, it was the first
(41:22):
bloom, but I, I don't thinkI can technically say it was
the first event because thisis, I mean, I host tons of
house parties all the time.
Yes.
You gotta come to one sometimes.
Truly.
Actually, yes.
Um.
But this was the 12th or 13thevent of mine that I posted.
Okay.
So I hosted a lotof dinner parties.
(41:43):
And the one thing beingItalian that always brings
people together is doingthings Family style.
Yeah.
Always.
Because you have to share, youhave to talk to each other.
It's not a plate of dinner.
Yeah.
Um, you have to say.
Past the pasta or youain't getting any.
Exactly.
You know what?
I never thought about thatthat way, but you're right.
Yeah.
Like you have to share.
Yeah.
You have to interact witheveryone on the table.
(42:03):
Mm-hmm.
Like you, if you want thatcheese that's on the other
end of the table, you areyelling across, across.
It's gotta be passed down.
Truly.
Yep.
You're like, it's like playingtelephone, but you're like.
30 years old, just exactly.
Really wantingsome pasta cheese.
Exactly.
No, that's awesome.
Thank you.
So I hosted a lot of thoseand that's what brought me to,
um, I, I mean, granted it wasfor like creators and brands.
(42:25):
Yeah.
And now this is for brands,creators, and people.
Yeah.
So Bloom last year was notmy first rodeo, I guess.
Okay.
But it was at that size.
'cause the biggest sizeI had, one of those
dinners was 1 10, 1 20.
What?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What do you mean?
That restaurant was realmad at me because, so
(42:46):
technically it was, um,Patrizia, but in New York City.
Okay.
And their fire code forupstairs, where they have like
a, a room where you can haveparties and stuff is a hundred.
So I, I was like, we couldlike maybe make a reservation
for like 15 downstairs.
(43:07):
15 Julia.
So there were, thiswas like years ago.
This was like 2019.
Okay.
Um, but, so we made areservation for everybody
else that wanted to come.
Mm-hmm.
And, um, I don't think Icharged them for a ticket
or anything like that.
Okay.
'cause they were kind ofon their own downstairs
to order food and whatnot.
Yeah.
But they could.
You know, they got a goodie bag.
(43:28):
They got to interact withpeople and it just got so crazy.
It was, it was great.
Oh, I had no idea you did that.
Yeah.
It was really fun.
That's awesome.
And that's kind ofwhat inspired Bloom?
Mm-hmm.
I did it originally because.
We needed more communityand more connection.
(43:48):
Yeah.
Between people who weredoing content online.
Yeah.
And I don't know, I alwayssay this too, like I never
know who I'm looking for.
If someone emailed me andinvited me somewhere, I
don't know who you are.
Yeah.
I don't know what you look like.
Mm-hmm.
But you know what I look like.
I know what your name is.
Yeah.
So sometimes I'll goto the front and be
like, do you know where.
Sally is.
(44:09):
Yeah.
And I'm like, I dreadthe fact that I'm talking
to Sally asking that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Because I feel so rude.
But like you didn't puta picture on your email.
Yeah.
Like how am I gonna knowwho the hell you are?
Exactly.
So that's what inspiredlike future bloom.
Yeah.
And wanting to create thatatmosphere and that space.
And that's why I love it.
(44:29):
I wanted you guys a part ofit last year 'cause you have
that in your own business.
So you would understandthe core Absolutely.
Of why.
Bloom exists.
Yeah.
Because there is no atmosphere,there is no community
in these other events.
It's people wanting free shit.
It literally is.
And I don't like that.
Yeah.
I like to give away free shit.
(44:50):
Same.
But you need to come there.
Mm-hmm.
With the intention thatyou wanna meet people,
you want to experiencesomething and you want to.
Love yourself more in Yeah.
The small ways.
Exactly.
That's what theevent's all about.
It's not about gettingdeep, like we get deep here.
It's, it's about loving yourselfin small ways and if you get
(45:10):
deep at that event, get deep.
Hell yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, and people were, oh,I'm sure the people like
I was when we were doingthe goddess glitter, like
the hair tin at your event.
I was having amazingconversations with some of these
women and it every time I waslike, I can't believe Julia
got all these people together.
It was so.
Like wholesome.
There was a woman, she was, Ithink she was in her sixties.
(45:32):
She came alone.
She was from sea.
She's like, I just, I waslike, oh, do you know Julia?
She's like, actually, no, Isaw this on like a Facebook
ad. And I was like, okay.
And she's like, I just gotdivorced and I just don't
feel like myself and I neededto do something for me.
And she was like getting allthis glitter in her hair.
I was like, this is exactly whyI. I know why I did the event.
(45:53):
Like how perfect is that?
It was excellent.
I'm like crying over this lady.
I'm like, I'm like turningher away from the mirror.
I'm like, don't look atme when you're talking.
You're getting extraglitter all over your hair.
I don't care howlong the line is.
Oh my God.
But yeah, she was like, thisis just like, she's like,
the energy's good here andI needed this for my soul.
(46:14):
Mm. I love that you did that.
Thanks.
You did that.
I love to hear it toobecause you know, I'm running
around trying to like makesure the event happens.
Oh yeah.
Making sure like the logisticsare going on, the place is
clean and whatnot, so thecops don't need to be there.
Oh my goodness.
Sorry to bring that up.
That's, no, it's okay.
(46:34):
Um, now I feel, I feelcomfortable to talk about it
now, but we're gonna, I'm gonna,we're gonna come back to that.
Mm-hmm.
We sure are.
Future podcast episode, we'regonna talk about how the cops
showed up at the first event.
Mm-hmm.
Oh my goodness.
Like, oh my goodness.
Yeah.
That was crazy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for beinghere and for listening
to today's episode.
I appreciate you to themoon and back as always.
(46:56):
Make sure to tune in toour next episode, which
will be two weeks from now.
We post biweekly episodesevery single, uh, other Sunday
at 12 o'clock Eastern time.
I hope to see you at Bloomloving yourself more, and if you
have any questions, comments,concerns, thoughts, or anything
motivating that you'd like toshare with anyone else, leave
(47:17):
it in the comments below.
I love you to the moon and back.
I thank you tothe moon and back.
I am grateful for youand I am proud of you.
Make your wildestdreams happen this week.
I'll talk to you soon.
Bye.
There is a ripple effect when you decide
to choose yourself publicly.
Choose yourself in general, buteven more so when you choose
yourself publicly in frontof other people, in front of
friends, in front of family.
If you are a content creator,which I feel like we all could
just be one nowadays, like ifwe own a business or if we are
(00:23):
working for a business or weare actually an influencer or
creator or something like that,like we all are a creator.
Even if you just have yourown little diary online.
But when you chooseyourself publicly.
You create a rippleeffect for other people
to also choose themselves.
You become an inspirationfor other people to
(00:47):
choose themselves.
And not just to choosethemselves, but to choose
themselves in the mostirrevocable, honest
and transparent way.
'cause I don't know aboutyou, but I could tell.
When someone isn't being fullyhonest and transparent, when
they're not being fully andirrevocably themselves, and
(01:10):
I'm not talking about spillingthe beans on every single
little detail of their life.
No, I'm talking about just beingtruly and honestly who they are.
That's inspiring to chooseyourself and to do it so
openly, to do it in a waywhere you don't care what
(01:30):
anyone has to say about it.
Because you're choosing you.
It doesn't matter whatanybody else has to say
because all that matters isthat you are choosing you.
You know exactly who you are.
You know exactly whatyou are capable of,
and that's everything.
By the way, anythingand everything.
(01:51):
It is so powerful to do that.
To stand on top of themountain and scream,
I am choosing myself.
Do it.
Stand up right now.
Say it.
I am choosing myself.
If there's anything that Iwant you to take away from
(02:11):
today's episode, from joiningthe Self-Love Collective,
by being a self-love bestiewith me, by listening to the
Self-Love Archives podcast,coming to our events, anything,
at the very least, at thevery minimum, the only thing.
The number one thing thatI want you to take away
from today's episode isthat it is so incredibly
(02:36):
powerful to choose yourself,and I hope that after today's
episode you'll do exactly that.
(02:56):
Welcome back to theSelf-Love Archives podcast.
I am your self love bestie.
Julia Salvia, welcome.
If you're new here.
Hi.
You are about tochange your life today.
If you are new here, andif you've been here, I
hope that you are alreadyon the path to choosing
yourself, loving yourselfmore, and changing your life.
(03:17):
I hope it's been life changing.
When you finally realizethe most important person
in your life is you.
I did something crazy atthe beginning of this year.
You might already know about it.
You might not already know aboutit, but the Self-Love archives
has created the first everimmersive self-love experience.
(03:43):
And this is not like an ad,like I am not going to try
to convince you to come.
I'm hoping that by theend of it, you realize
how insane it is that.
I and my very small team, ak,my assistant and my boyfriend,
I get free labor from.
(04:04):
I hope you know thatthis event is so much
more than just an event.
It's so much morethan just an event.
The crazy decision thatI decided to make at the
beginning of the year was to.
Go ahead and secure the venuefor Bloom, our immersive
(04:25):
self-love experience.
And what was crazy aboutit is that it was $12,000.
This venue was actually morethan that, and I've actually
been told throughout my entirelife to never talk about.
Finances to never speakso openly about them.
And I think I never havebecause it was always really
(04:48):
scary to do so, especiallyin so many different ways.
Um, I think thatthere's a lot of shame tied to
money and tied to finances anda lot of different opinions
on money and finances.
And I think for me.
(05:11):
I really try hard to understandand realize that every single
cent that I ever spend is onlycoming back to me tenfold.
Every single dollar thatI spend, that you spend,
every single dollar thatyou spend is going to
come back to you tenfold.
So if you spend, you know,$10 today on a coffee, that's
(05:33):
a really expensive coffee.
I hope it's a good one.
It's gonna comeback to you tenfold.
Tomorrow, a week fromnow, you are going to
get a hundred dollars.
You're gonna make a hundreddollars, you're gonna
find a hundred dollars.
You're gonna get a check inthe mail for a hundred dollars.
It's gonna come back to youtenfold, a hundred fold.
And that's the way thatwe all should view money.
(05:58):
So I all that to say I made avery financially irresponsible.
Choice decision at thebeginning of this year to book
this venue for Bloom, $12,000Tutu Lu, buy down the drain.
And if I cancel this contractor rescind it and not go
through with the event, Ilose out on half of that.
(06:21):
And that's kind of scary, right?
That's kind of scaryto say, oh, well
that wasn't financially smart,but actually what if it was?
What if this decision was thebest decision of my entire life?
What if making this decisionright here changes the
(06:44):
trajectory of how thenext couple of months,
years of my life goes?
What if that huge decision,whether it's a financial
decision or a a locationdecision or just a really big
decision, what if that changesthe trajectory of where your
(07:06):
life takes you after that?
The funny thing is, isyou're not actually going
to know you're gonna makethis decision, and you could
think whatever you want.
I can sit here and tell youthat this was a financially
irresponsible decision, butI tend to think that that's
actually an opinion, not a fact.
Because if the event issuccessful, and this changes
(07:31):
where the self-love archivesgoes, that wasn't a financially
irresponsible decision.
That was a very bold andbrave and courageous decision.
That was a smartfucking decision.
That's the funny thing aboutlife is that we could sit here
and make assumptions about whata huge decision is going to.
(07:57):
How it's going toaffect us, right?
How it's going tochange our lives.
And we could think in thismoment that this decision
whether we are actuallymaking the decision or it's
kind of happening for us,kind of like one of those
blessing in disguise moments.
We could sit here and say that,yeah, X, Y, and Z is going to
(08:18):
happen after I make this choice.
But how do you know that X, Y,and Z is actually gonna happen?
How do you know that if you moveacross the country or across the
world, that it's actually goingto be the best decision for you?
How do you know that if youhave to move for a job or move
(08:42):
to a different place because ofwhatever the reason, how do you
know that that's going to be theworst decision you've ever made?
You, you don't, you don'tactually know how it's
going to work out for you.
So why not make the choiceto make bold decisions?
(09:05):
Why not do things that are big?
In January, every single year,a thought comes to my head,
it's kind of like a light bulbgoes off, and the light bulb is
usually on a word or a phrase.
It's like either in conversationor I see it somewhere, or
(09:25):
I'm journaling or talkingto myself as one does,
and a light bulb goes offand I'm like, that's it.
That's the theme.
That's 2020.
Whatever.
That's what our focus is gonnabe on this year and this year.
I said this is theyear of going big.
(09:47):
This is the year where I amdone making myself small.
This is the year where we areall done making ourselves small.
We are capable of so much,so why aren't you doing it?
Why aren't you puttingyourself in rooms that you are
(10:09):
totally capable of speakingin, sitting, in, being in?
Why aren't you puttingyourself out there?
Why aren't you publicly andwithout shame choosing you?
(10:30):
That's what it is, right?
Making decisions and doingthings that are scary, that
are big, that are bold, thatare brave, that are courageous.
Doing things that areall of those things.
Most importantly, scary.
Doing things that arescary, doing things for you
(10:52):
is choosing yourself,building this self-love expo.
Has taught me so much aboutchoosing myself, and I
want to share with you alittle bit of the behind
the scenes and a little bitof that process of how this
(11:15):
self-love event is actuallyhelping me choose myself.
And in today's episode,I wanna share four of
those lessons with you.
So let's get into it.
Lesson number one, say yes.
Even when you're scared,make the choice to do it.
(11:39):
Even if you're scared.
Do not let fear hold youback because it will,
it will hold you back.
There's this fear.
That pops up when you areready to do something big.
(12:04):
When you are ready tostart choosing yourself.
And I'm not talking about likethe little things like choosing
yourself, waking up and, andgoing to buy yourself flowers.
No, no, no.
I'm talking aboutthe big things.
That's what thisepisode is about.
We're talking aboutthe big things, the
scary decisions that.
You really can't evenforesee how it's going to
(12:27):
play out for you, right?
Because this decision is sobig, this decision is scary.
This is one of those decisionslike you are entering
into a new relationship.
You are buying a new house,buying a new car, you are
moving to a different place.
You are making a huge decisionthat's going to change
(12:49):
your life as it is today.
That fear that settled intoyour body that you feel
is the only thing that'sgoing to stop you from
actually making the decision.
We've talked about this ina couple of other episodes.
(13:11):
There's a couple of differentways to decipher fear from
genuine fear of your safety.
And those are two differenttypes of feelings that
I hope that you are ableto decipher for yourself.
For myself, when I feeltightness or fear in my chest,
(13:36):
that is how I know that I amsafe, that there is nothing
that is going to harm me, thatit is just an uncomfortable
feeling or decision.
That I'm about to or lookingto make if I am feeling fear
in my gut, kind of like thatgut intuitive feeling, that
(13:59):
is the fear that I feel whenI am unsafe, when a decision
is not aligning with me,and that's super important.
When thinking about this typeof fear that you are feeling,
I'm talking about that.
That feeling of ofbeing scared because you
don't know what's next.
(14:21):
That feeling that you get whenyou don't actually know how this
decision is going to affect yourlife, that is exactly how I felt
when making this decision to goreally big for bloom this year.
It was scary to go from theevent that we had in 2024 to
(14:46):
basically jumping to an eventthat's five times bigger.
But I knew in my intuition,my gut, my gut was saying,
no, this is the rightdecision, but my chest is
telling me that I'm scared.
And not because I'm fearfulof my safety, not because I
(15:07):
don't think this is the rightdecision, but because this
decision is uncomfortable.
That is the fear I'm talkingabout that uncomfortableness,
that that fear that'sjust uncomfortable.
Like it's uncomfortable tosit in this decision because
you don't know what's next,because we can't see the future.
(15:30):
We don't know whatthe future holds.
And although we can sit hereand our intuition is telling us
this is a good decision rightnow, it doesn't feel good.
Our bodies inherently andnaturally just like to be
comfortable and content right,because that keeps us safe.
(15:53):
But there's a differencebetween jumping into a.
Higher version of yourself.
And staying put andstaying comfortable.
We live in a whole differentworld now where we can make bold
decisions and do crazy things.
(16:16):
I mean, I love this quotethat's actually in our venue.
Bell Works if youhaven't heard of it.
Um.
It's basically where they filmseverance, that TV show on
Apple tv and they have a littlelike stone in a flower pot,
and it's an Albert Einsteinquote, and this quote says, only
(16:39):
those who attempt the absurdcan achieve the impossible.
Let me say it again for you.
Only those whoattempt the absurd.
Can achieve the impossible.
So basically, if you arecrazy enough to attempt
(17:00):
something to do something,to make the decision to
create something or takeaction on one of your dreams,
you are the type ofperson that can achieve.
What no one else can.
What someone who isn'ttaking those chances can.
(17:24):
Lesson number two.
Oh my gosh, this one,this one digs deep for me.
Keep showing up even whenyou aren't 100% confident.
I was listening toan old episode here.
On the Self-Love Archives,actually episode eight
(17:44):
where I talk about the smallthings that changed my life.
I was re-listening to itbecause I am filming a part
two because there are a lotof things that have changed
my life, including all thelessons I'm providing you today.
They really havechanged my life.
I don't know how I would be.
(18:05):
Doing this if I really didn'ttake all of these to heart and
really just make it happen.
As I'm listening to thisepisode, I'm realizing that
there's a, I sound differentnow in my podcast episodes.
I sound more confident.
I sound more relaxed.
I sound like I know whatI'm doing and that happens
(18:31):
for so many things.
We're never gonnahave all the answers.
We are not gonna knowhow to do everything.
We're gonna have to teachourselves how to do this, and
we're gonna have to Google that,but don't let that hold you
back from actually doing it.
(18:51):
I cannot tell you how many timesin my life, and I'm sure in
your life and in our lives, thatwe hold ourself back because
we're not 100% confident.
What we're doing or whatwe're choosing, you need
to be a fraction of thatto actually get started.
You need to be confident inyour ability, not confident
(19:17):
in the actionable steps, notconfident in every piece of it.
You need to be confident in youand what you are capable of.
And as long as you are confidentin you and you trust yourself,
you'll make it happen.
(19:37):
You'll figure it out.
You'll find someone that cancreate the emails for you.
You'll find someone that canmove you into this new place.
You'll teach yourselfhow to do this.
You'll purchase to makeit easier to do that.
(19:59):
As long as you have confidencein yourself and what you are
capable of, and may I remindyou, you are capable of so
much more than you think,then do not let the lack of
confidence in your knowledgeof something hold you back.
(20:19):
There are a lot of things about.
Bloom that I don'tknow how to do.
I have never hosted an eventthis big, let's be honest.
But that doesn't meanthat I can't, that doesn't
mean that I'm not capable.
That doesn't mean that I'mnot going to host the most
amazing self-love event.
(20:42):
It doesn't mean any of that.
That just means that.
I am going to need to learnhow to do some things or find
someone that can fill thosegaps on the things that I
might not know how to do ormight not be educated on.
That means I have toask more questions.
(21:03):
That means I need to let chatGBT organize my thoughts.
That means that I might needto hire a friend or ask for
help, but what it doesn'tmean is that I'm not capable.
Your lack of confidence, justlike the fear in your chest will
(21:23):
hold you back, but as long asyou are trusting in who you are
and trusting in your ability andyour capability and your drive
and motivation to make thishappen, whatever it is.
(21:46):
Do it.
Do it.
There's a quote somewhere thatI read that you really only
need to know 10% more thansomeone else to actually teach
someone how to do something,and another one that might
help perfection also.
(22:09):
That also holds you back, andI feel like that's tied in with
this whole confidence thing.
We need to feel, we feel likewe need to know everything.
We need to have all of theanswers to actually get started.
But that confidence in yourability, as long as you know
that you are capable, theconfidence in your ability to
(22:30):
make these things happen willbuild as you make it happen.
It's kind of like lookingback on yourself and
saying, who am I to do this?
What do you mean?
Who you?
Who are you to do this?
You are you and you are capableof absolutely anything that
you wanna be capable of.
(22:52):
Whatever you are in the midstof choosing for yourself,
you are deserving of that,and how it comes to fruition
may not fully be up to you.
But it's up to you tomake the choice to do it.
You don't have tobe 100% confident
(23:15):
what you need to be 100%confident in what you need
to 100% trust is you, andknowing deep down that you
are capable of anything.
Number three kind of goes alongwith number two, self trust
(23:38):
builds in layers over time.
That confidence that you arelooking for, that you think that
you need to have right now inorder to do all of these things,
that's going to build over time.
The more that you put thetime, the work, the money,
the education, whatever it is.
(23:59):
The more that you put into this,the more you are going to trust
yourself to make it happen.
It's in the small stepsthat all of this builds up.
It's not in the giant leaps thatyou take, at least not always.
It's in the small stepsthat you take to get there.
(24:21):
When I was in college, I,I remember very little from
college, but when I was incollege, we had a professor
in my entrepreneurshipdegree, and this professor
always talked about it was asmall business class, right?
So we always talked aboutour goals and how to reach
these goals, especiallywhen these goals are huge.
(24:42):
You have this goal ofbasically the, the decision
that you wanna make.
So let's say you wanna move, youwanna move across the country.
And this move is scary.
It's uncomfortable, it'scostly, and it's gonna take
a couple of things for youto change or for you to
do before you can actuallymake that decision happen.
(25:06):
What you're gonna do, I'mmore of a visual person.
I love, I love this idea of, ofkind of working with your hands.
You can use Post-its,you can use note cards.
You can do it digitallyif you really want to.
I love taking a note.
Like a little notebook.
What is it?
A pad, A sticky,what is it called?
(25:27):
A post-it Jesus.
Taking a post-it, writing yourgoal on this, post-it, and
putting it at the top of thewall, as high as you can reach.
I'm only five four, so Iprobably wouldn't be that high.
And then I'm gonna work myway down from that goal of all
of the steps that it's gonnatake to actually get there.
(25:50):
So if I'm looking to move acrossthe country, I need $10,000
before I can make that decisionto say, okay, I'm moving there.
I need to find outwhere I'm moving.
I need to figure out howI'm gonna get my car there.
Am I gonna drive it there?
Am I gonna ship it there?
Am I going to get rid ofmy car and get a new car?
(26:13):
Am I going to drive a rental?
Am I gonna fly there?
How am I getting there?
And then I'm going to maybedownsize what I'm working with.
I have tons of clothes andtons of stuff, and with
this move I want to getrid of half of my things.
So from this main goalat the top of moving to
(26:35):
California, 'cause that'shalfway across the country,
or not halfway, that's, that'sacross the country for me.
If we're considering Hawaii.
Then it's halfway, and then allof these smaller goals still
bigger, but all of these smallergoals need to happen in order
for us to be able to move.
But how am I goingto make that $10,000?
(27:00):
Where is it coming from?
I list all of the ways thatI'm gonna get to that $10,000.
Let's say I need to pick upa, a second job and I need to
sell some of the stuff thatI'm trying to get rid of.
And, um, I can putaway 10% of my paycheck
to this $10,000 goal.
So those three goals thengo under, make $10,000 or
(27:24):
save $10,000 so I can move.
Then the next one, if I'mgonna decide to downsize and
get rid of half of my stuff,how am I going to do that?
How am I going toreach that goal?
Am I gonna donate things?
Am I gonna sell things?
Am I going to give away things?
How are you going toactually downsize?
(27:45):
And essentially what youcan do with this is you
keep breaking down thegoal until the bigger goal.
Is broken down into all of thesevery small goals that are much
more achievable because when welook at a huge goal like, Hey,
let's host an expo, a self-loveexpo event for that, you know,
(28:06):
a thousand people, it seemsoverwhelming soul crushing even.
'cause you're like, how the hellam I gonna do this by myself?
Well.
You are because you are, andyou can, because you're just
gonna break it down into,into smaller goals, into
much more chewable pieces.
I mean, you get abig 16 ounce steak.
(28:26):
Right.
16 ounce steak, huge bowl ofmac and cheese, whatever it is.
You're gonna break it down.
You're gonna cut it inlittle pieces so that your
body and yourself, youcan actually digest it.
You could actually fit it intoyour mouth, chew it, digest it.
You know?
You know how it goes.
You know how it goes whenyou eat a steak or a big
bowl of mac and cheese.
(28:48):
That's what you're gonnado with your goals.
You're gonna make each of thelarger goals that you have,
you're gonna break them downto make them more digestible,
to make them more approachable.
Because when you do it thatway, you're like, oh yeah,
I could easily go donatea bunch of these clothes.
I can, I can easily justput, you know, 10% of my
(29:10):
paycheck to the side tosave up that 10 grand.
I can definitely research some.
Apartments or homes for rentout there in California, you
can do these things and itmakes it so much easier to
do them when you break itdown into digestible pieces.
That is a huge way that weare able to make bloom happen
(29:36):
with such a small team.
Everything is in digestiblepieces and digestible goals.
And it's also timegiving yourself the
time to make it happen.
But we could sit here and saythat, and last year we made
bloom happen at three months.
So it's really how you approachit and how you break it down.
(30:04):
Everything for bloomis organized, it's laid
out, it's prioritized.
This big goal of hosting animmersive self-love event is
a lot more than just hostingan immersive self-love event.
There's a lot of parts moving,parts and pieces and people and
(30:24):
people to hire and attendeesto share the information with.
There's a lot of differentpieces, but when all of these
goals are broken down intodigestible little things, it
makes it a lot easier to say.
Okay.
Check done.
Okay, need to do this checkdone, and then you can
(30:44):
move forward to actuallyreaching the bigger goal.
And sometimes just seeing itvisually on your wall, on a
vision board or in kind of likea little digital brainstorm
or drawing it out, whatever,whatever mode works for you.
Sometimes it's easier to see it.
(31:08):
In whatever one of thesemodes work for you.
Modems modes.
I've been using that word alot lately and I'm obviously
not sure how to use it, but inall of these different ways,
it's when you find the one thatworks for you, you can really
visually see it broken down thatyou are much more capable of
(31:29):
reaching these small goals thatthe bigger, more overwhelming,
scary goal doesn't seem.
As big anymore, how itfeels to invest in yourself.
This is more of a feelingthan it is a lesson.
It's incredibly empoweringto really start to choose
(31:55):
yourself, to really startinvesting in yourself, whether
that's with time, money.
Energy, love.
When you startpouring into yourself
the feeling that youfeel, it's, it's in,
(32:17):
it's actually incredible.
It's like, wow.
Finally you've gottenhere to this place.
And while there might be somehard things ahead and some hard
choices that you might needto make and some changes that
you might need to, to do to,to change, even though there
(32:42):
are all of these things andmaybe all of this uncertainty,
you're here in thismoment, like 16-year-old,
you would be screaming.
If she knew that this wasthe answer like that, that
you were deciding whether ornot to do this scream, like
(33:05):
she'd be screaming, okay.
She'd be like, you'rejoking younger.
You would be flipping out.
It is the best feeling in theworld to actually invest in you
in whatever way that might be.
Big or small.
(33:26):
I mean, we're talking aboutbig here, and it's freeing
to make that decision.
Have you ever left ajob or a relationship or
friendship and felt free?
Like it was hard, right?
(33:46):
You might be in literaltears, but you're like,
oh my God, I. I did that.
I am so proud of myself.
Yeah, I know the wayup is going to be hard.
It's going to bedifficult, but I did that.
I'm so proud of myself.
(34:08):
I'm so proud of you.
You started the first stepinto loving yourself more.
You started.
To step towards choosingyourself, you started the first
step into trusting yourself,to investing in yourself.
(34:34):
How are you going to make thelife of your dreams happen?
If you don't chooseyourself, if you don't just
start, if you don't makebig and scary decisions.
If you don't completesmall goals that lead
(34:55):
to the bigger one,choose yourself.
Invest in yourself.
Let it sink in.
Sit in that gratitude ofyou coming to this place of
courage where you finally arelike, no, I'm gonna do this.
(35:18):
Big, small, medium, whateverthe, whatever the size of
this choice in this decisionis this step forward.
I always picturelike a board game.
Are, are you, are you rollingthe die and, and getting a six?
Are you steppingsix feet forward?
Are you steppingjust one forward?
Whatever it is, sit inthat gratitude for this
(35:40):
choice that you just madefor the betterment of you.
For the growth of you hearyour higher self talking
to you, saying thank you.
Yes, you are onestep closer to me.
I mean, technically you are me.
(36:02):
Sit in that gratitude andbe forever grateful of how
brave and courageous youare in this moment to make
this choice for yourself.
To make this choice inloving yourself more, let
me give you a little recapon what we went over today.
These are four lessonsin choosing yourself.
(36:26):
Number one, say yes.
Even when you're scared, donot let fear hold you back.
Number two.
Show up even if you're notfeeling 100% confident.
Number three, self love andself trust builds in layers,
(36:51):
not necessarily leaps.
Break down your bigger goalsinto smaller, digestible ones.
And number four, giveyourself gratitude.
For investing in yourself.
Feel all of the feelings ofinvesting in yourself and
(37:15):
choosing yourself, whetherthat's by giving it more
energy, giving yourselfmore time, money, love.
Give yourself gratitude, feelinto all of the feelings that
you're feeling right now.
And look yourself in the mirrortoday and say, I'm proud of you.
(37:39):
'cause I'm proud of you.
Self-love is not always soft.
We're kind of fed this rhetoricthat self-love is real, all
rainbows and butterflies.
And while I. Do believethat self-love is the
rainbows and butterflies.
(38:00):
It's also what's atthe end of the rainbow.
It's also the clouds.
On a stormy day, it's therain, it's the snow, but
it's also the sunshine.
It's all of the above.
It's all in encompassingSelf-love is bold.
(38:22):
It's messy.
Can be scary.
It can ask you to godeeper with yourself.
Choosing yourself is not alwaysgoing to be an easy decision,
but what it's going to beis an empowering decision.
That decision that you maketoday for you, the one that's
(38:46):
going to change the trajectoryof how your life moves forward.
That decision.
That choice of self-love,that is self-love, that that
is, that is the decisionto choose yourself and
to love yourself more.
(39:07):
And the only thing thatyou're gonna do is look back
and be so incrediblygrateful that you decided
to put fear behind you.
To say fuck being ahundred percent confident,
I'm just gonna do thisbecause I'm confident.
Maybe not in my ability,but in my capability
(39:30):
to make this happen.
Because you are all of thethings that the world told you.
You are not.
You are enough, you are capable,and you are worthy of your
biggest and wildest dreams.
I hope that my courage to makethis crazy, insane decision
(39:56):
to host Bloom the first everimmersive self-love experience.
Coming to Bell Worksin Homedale New Jersey,
September 28th, 2025.
I hope my courage to moveforward with something
absolutely insane providesyou the permission.
(40:17):
To do the same.
I had a really amazingconversation with Nikki
from Willow and Jade.
We talked to her acouple of episodes ago.
It's episode 45, and wetalked a little bit about
Bloom, and I wanna share thatwith you so you can learn a
little bit more about thisamazing self-love event and
(40:39):
see if you'd like to attend.
All of the information isgoing to be in the show notes
and description down below,so make sure to check it out
and get your tickets to bloom,and I hope to see you there.
Loving yourself more.
Yeah, my friend goes, yay.
You're planning a wedding.
You are planning a wedding.
Mm-hmm.
For everyone else.
For everyone else, except Ihope we get the money back.
(41:02):
I think you will.
Thank you.
I think so.
It's gonna be awesome.
Bloom last year was.
I was so proud of you.
Thanks.
It was such beautifulevent and all of the,
the energy was excellent.
Thanks.
Like you really curatedan amazing event.
That's big.
Thank you.
And for your first one,like, what the hell?
Thank you.
I feel like I can't technicallysay it was, it was the first
(41:22):
bloom, but I, I don't thinkI can technically say it was
the first event because thisis, I mean, I host tons of
house parties all the time.
Yes.
You gotta come to one sometimes.
Truly.
Actually, yes.
Um.
But this was the 12th or 13thevent of mine that I posted.
Okay.
So I hosted a lotof dinner parties.
(41:43):
And the one thing beingItalian that always brings
people together is doingthings Family style.
Yeah.
Always.
Because you have to share, youhave to talk to each other.
It's not a plate of dinner.
Yeah.
Um, you have to say.
Past the pasta or youain't getting any.
Exactly.
You know what?
I never thought about thatthat way, but you're right.
Yeah.
Like you have to share.
Yeah.
You have to interact witheveryone on the table.
(42:03):
Mm-hmm.
Like you, if you want thatcheese that's on the other
end of the table, you areyelling across, across.
It's gotta be passed down.
Truly.
Yep.
You're like, it's like playingtelephone, but you're like.
30 years old, just exactly.
Really wantingsome pasta cheese.
Exactly.
No, that's awesome.
Thank you.
So I hosted a lot of thoseand that's what brought me to,
um, I, I mean, granted it wasfor like creators and brands.
(42:25):
Yeah.
And now this is for brands,creators, and people.
Yeah.
So Bloom last year was notmy first rodeo, I guess.
Okay.
But it was at that size.
'cause the biggest sizeI had, one of those
dinners was 1 10, 1 20.
What?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What do you mean?
That restaurant was realmad at me because, so
(42:46):
technically it was, um,Patrizia, but in New York City.
Okay.
And their fire code forupstairs, where they have like
a, a room where you can haveparties and stuff is a hundred.
So I, I was like, we couldlike maybe make a reservation
for like 15 downstairs.
(43:07):
15 Julia.
So there were, thiswas like years ago.
This was like 2019.
Okay.
Um, but, so we made areservation for everybody
else that wanted to come.
Mm-hmm.
And, um, I don't think Icharged them for a ticket
or anything like that.
Okay.
'cause they were kind ofon their own downstairs
to order food and whatnot.
Yeah.
But they could.
You know, they got a goodie bag.
(43:28):
They got to interact withpeople and it just got so crazy.
It was, it was great.
Oh, I had no idea you did that.
Yeah.
It was really fun.
That's awesome.
And that's kind ofwhat inspired Bloom?
Mm-hmm.
I did it originally because.
We needed more communityand more connection.
(43:48):
Yeah.
Between people who weredoing content online.
Yeah.
And I don't know, I alwayssay this too, like I never
know who I'm looking for.
If someone emailed me andinvited me somewhere, I
don't know who you are.
Yeah.
I don't know what you look like.
Mm-hmm.
But you know what I look like.
I know what your name is.
Yeah.
So sometimes I'll goto the front and be
like, do you know where.
Sally is.
(44:09):
Yeah.
And I'm like, I dreadthe fact that I'm talking
to Sally asking that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Because I feel so rude.
But like you didn't puta picture on your email.
Yeah.
Like how am I gonna knowwho the hell you are?
Exactly.
So that's what inspiredlike future bloom.
Yeah.
And wanting to create thatatmosphere and that space.
And that's why I love it.
(44:29):
I wanted you guys a part ofit last year 'cause you have
that in your own business.
So you would understandthe core Absolutely.
Of why.
Bloom exists.
Yeah.
Because there is no atmosphere,there is no community
in these other events.
It's people wanting free shit.
It literally is.
And I don't like that.
Yeah.
I like to give away free shit.
(44:50):
Same.
But you need to come there.
Mm-hmm.
With the intention thatyou wanna meet people,
you want to experiencesomething and you want to.
Love yourself more in Yeah.
The small ways.
Exactly.
That's what theevent's all about.
It's not about gettingdeep, like we get deep here.
It's, it's about loving yourselfin small ways and if you get
(45:10):
deep at that event, get deep.
Hell yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, and people were, oh,I'm sure the people like
I was when we were doingthe goddess glitter, like
the hair tin at your event.
I was having amazingconversations with some of these
women and it every time I waslike, I can't believe Julia
got all these people together.
It was so.
Like wholesome.
There was a woman, she was, Ithink she was in her sixties.
(45:32):
She came alone.
She was from sea.
She's like, I just, I waslike, oh, do you know Julia?
She's like, actually, no, Isaw this on like a Facebook
ad. And I was like, okay.
And she's like, I just gotdivorced and I just don't
feel like myself and I neededto do something for me.
And she was like getting allthis glitter in her hair.
I was like, this is exactly whyI. I know why I did the event.
(45:53):
Like how perfect is that?
It was excellent.
I'm like crying over this lady.
I'm like, I'm like turningher away from the mirror.
I'm like, don't look atme when you're talking.
You're getting extraglitter all over your hair.
I don't care howlong the line is.
Oh my God.
But yeah, she was like, thisis just like, she's like,
the energy's good here andI needed this for my soul.
(46:14):
Mm. I love that you did that.
Thanks.
You did that.
I love to hear it toobecause you know, I'm running
around trying to like makesure the event happens.
Oh yeah.
Making sure like the logisticsare going on, the place is
clean and whatnot, so thecops don't need to be there.
Oh my goodness.
Sorry to bring that up.
That's, no, it's okay.
(46:34):
Um, now I feel, I feelcomfortable to talk about it
now, but we're gonna, I'm gonna,we're gonna come back to that.
Mm-hmm.
We sure are.
Future podcast episode, we'regonna talk about how the cops
showed up at the first event.
Mm-hmm.
Oh my goodness.
Like, oh my goodness.
Yeah.
That was crazy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for beinghere and for listening
to today's episode.
I appreciate you to themoon and back as always.
(46:56):
Make sure to tune in toour next episode, which
will be two weeks from now.
We post biweekly episodesevery single, uh, other Sunday
at 12 o'clock Eastern time.
I hope to see you at Bloomloving yourself more, and if you
have any questions, comments,concerns, thoughts, or anything
motivating that you'd like toshare with anyone else, leave
(47:17):
it in the comments below.
I love you to the moon and back.
I thank you tothe moon and back.
I am grateful for youand I am proud of you.
Make your wildestdreams happen this week.
I'll talk to you soon.
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.