March 2, 2025 • 45 mins
is 30 the age in your head where you think you need to have it all figured out? the age where you need to have this + be happy with that?
30 is just a number (so is 22, 46, 50, 67, etc)- and i know you've heard this before, but let me really prove it to you in this episode. + a bunch more realizations you need to hear to easily love yourself more exactly where you're at.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Julia Salvia (00:00):
Is this thing on?
Millennials channelingtheir inner Britney Spears.
Is this thing on?
Time is a mental construct.
And being 30, now 31, doesn'treally make a difference, right?
(00:24):
I was 30 48 hours ago.
At the time of filming this,I am technically still 30.
Not 31 just yet.
But time is a mental construct.
Someone one day said.
You know, I think we shouldmake a clock and make the
(00:46):
arms go around so it can tellus what time of day it is.
And, and we should make acalendar where there's a
month called February, andthe month after that is March.
And maybe we should have aDecember somewhere in there.
And there's 365 days ina year, but some of those
(01:12):
days, I think some of thoseyears we need to do it.
366 days.
Someone made this up one day.
Let that sink in.
Someone made up themonths, the time, the day.
Someone decided, and everyonecollectively agreed, to this
(01:32):
chaotic thing that we call time.
And said, yeah, I thinka day should be 24 hours.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You agree?
Yeah?
Okay, great.
One day.
24 hours.
And then everybody juststarted paying attention
to this Gregorian calendar.
I think that's what it's called.
(01:54):
So time is truly amental construct.
But then, if time is amental construct, if time
is this thing that we justmade up one day, then why
do we put so much weight?
into how old we are.
There are these significantyears of our life that we put
so much significance around.
(02:17):
16, 21, 30, 40, 50,60, so on and so forth.
We put so much weight intothese moments when, in
actuality, five minutes agoyou were 29 and now you're 30.
(02:38):
You're not any differentjust because you turned
a different number.
Sure, some things scientificallymake sense with time.
But if we really take a secondto understand and realize just
how ridiculous time is, maybewe wouldn't put so much weight.
(03:04):
on every singlemoment of our lives.
Maybe we wouldn't put somuch weight in our thirties
on our biological clock.
Maybe we wouldn't put somuch weight on ourselves
when we turn fifty andwe feel like we're, well,
we're halfway to a hundred.
(03:26):
Maybe we wouldn't put so muchweight on ourselves on 21 as
the age that we finally get tohave a legal sip of alcohol.
And maybe we wouldn'tput so much weight on
having the biggest partyever when we turn 16.
See, if we take time out of itand just looked at this point in
(03:49):
our lives for what it is today,we can have an understanding
of who we are and whatour time looks like, what
our journey looks like,what our clock looks like.
There is no comparingit to anyone else.
(04:09):
Just because society makes youbelieve that you're supposed to
have something at a certain timedoes not mean that you're
supposed to have somethingat a certain time just
because they said so.
I am past, officially past,as you're listening to
(04:31):
this episode, the 30 point.
In my journey of life on thisearth, and I am officially 31.
At the time of filming this,I am still 30, but at the time
you are listening to this, Iam officially 31, and I just
celebrated my 31st birthday.
(04:53):
And to say that I changeda lot in the past year
is not an understatement.
I think, and I believethat we can go through
so much change in a year.
A year is a pretty long time.
But what I'm about to sharewith you in today's episode
Are realizations and lessonsthat I learned in my first year
(05:14):
in my 30s that I think anyonecan take from this episode.
Whether you are in your20s, your teens, your
50s, doesn't matter.
I think these realizationsare so They're incredibly
important and they might justbe right in front of your face.
(05:45):
Welcome back to the SelfLove Archives podcast.
My name is Julia Salvia andI am your self love bestie.
Welcome back or welcometo your safe space.
This is the podcast wherewe talk about self love and
there are so many thingsthat encompass self love.
Of relationships, of challenges,of learning, of growing, of
(06:10):
really getting to understandwho we are in a deep way.
And that's whatwe're here to do.
I am officially 31 and spentmy first year in my 30s.
Now, does thatreally mean munch?
Munch?
Does it?
Does that really mean muchat the end of the day?
No.
(06:30):
Not really.
But a year is a long time,whether we are 30 to 31,
50 to 51, 25 to 26, ayear is such a long time.
And sometimes we can make suchamazing breakthroughs in a year.
And I want to share my fivelessons, five realizations
(06:55):
that I learned in myfirst year of my 30s.
If you are on a biological timeclock, or if you think you're
on some sort of biologicaltime clock, I think you're
gonna love this first one.
You do not have to haveit all figured out.
(07:16):
But Julia, I'm, I'm, I'm 30now, I'm 31 now, I, I need
to have this figured out,like, Time is slipping away.
I'm getting old.
My biological time clock, my,my job, my this, I need to
have this all figured out.
Says who?
Says who?
Who said that by 30, youneeded to have your dream job,
(07:41):
your dream house, your dreampartner, your dream life?
Who said that by 30, That byany age, that you needed to
have these things somehow ona checklist, just checked off.
Yep, got it, perfect, amazing.
We have our body ofour dreams, we have the
partner of our dreams.
(08:02):
Who said that?
Who said that 30 waslike the end all be all?
That if you didn't have thisfigured out now, you weren't
ever going to figure it out.
See, the catch is, we'reconstantly changing, and so
are the people around us, andso is the world around us.
(08:22):
So to think that at anygiven moment we would have
everything figured out?
Partially ignorant.
Partially a little silly.
I mean, yes, go you.
I hope that one day I canstand here and confidently
say, yeah, I have itall fucking figured out.
(08:43):
Do I potentially look likeI have it all figured out?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, but that's, thatis an assumption that
other people make.
Because they also don'thave it all figured out.
And I think it'd be sillyto think that anyone
has it all figured out.
Especially with how much changewe go through in our lives.
(09:07):
Each day, each month, each year.
You don't have to haveit all figured out.
And it's okay if you don't.
You have the time.
You have the capability.
Yeah, life is short,but life is also long.
And it'd be a shame for youto rush through just to figure
(09:30):
it out when the journey thatyou're on the journey in
your career that you're on,for example, is too long.
Why wouldn't you want toenjoy that journey to get
to where you want to be?
Because I think that if werush things sometimes just to
figure it out, that we almostget farther away from figuring
(09:53):
it out when we aren't honestwith where we're at in order
to get to where we want to be.
There's no imaginarybook that tells you at a
certain point in your life.
Which is so differentand so unique from other
people, by the way.
I don't know why you wouldthink that there would
(10:14):
be one specific time.
And I think 30 is that specifictime that most people have
in their head that they needcertain things figured out.
That by 30 they needto basically have their
entire life figured out.
Because 30 and beyondall becomes like one
whole blur together.
But that's not true.
(10:35):
And I don't know whostarted that rumor, but
we need to have a chat.
Okay, we need to have a chat.
But Julia, my biological clock,your biological clock what?
You need to have kids rightnow, right this second because
you think you're behind?
Let me tell you a personalstory, and this one is This
(11:00):
one is a rough and a sadpersonal story, and maybe it
doesn't fit the parametersof what we're really talking
about here, but it gets tothe nitty gritty of where
we don't need to be rushing.
Because when we're rushing, itseems as though we're paying
attention to everyone elsearound us, who we think have
(11:22):
it figured out, and they don't.
So I had a reallytough beginning of my
teens, if you will.
I met a guy who was withmy, with me, was kind of my
boyfriend for about two yearsand this relationship was
(11:44):
point blank, illegal, notsomething that I should have
been, someone I should havebeen in a relationship with.
Um, when I left thisrelationship, extremely damaged
emotionally, physically,all the above, I left this
relationship when I was 16.
And I thought thateveryone around me at 16
(12:06):
had been, they're alreadyin relationships, they're
already in this placewhere they've grown up.
And I thought I was well behind.
I thought that I wasstill a kid, still a baby.
I hadn't experiencedthings that I should
have experienced already.
So I set up a date and askedsomeone to take my virginity
(12:32):
because I thought I was behind.
And I partially wanted thisto happen because I wanted
to kind of take back mypower in a way to be able
to say that that's genuinelywhen I lost my virginity and
unfortunately that's not true.
But in that moment there were,there were two parts to it.
(12:54):
Me taking back control to kindof cover up something that had
happened in that relationshipthat I was embarrassed of.
But also To put myselfin a position where I was
quote unquote caught upwith everyone around me.
(13:15):
And looking back at thatnow, being twice my, twice
my age at this point, howsilly that I took away
time that I could have hadto learn more about myself,
to understand myself more.
(13:39):
And, rather than rush forsomething to happen because
I thought I was behind.
And I think the samething happens to us in
other parts of our lives.
We rush into a relationshipbecause we think, oh god,
I'm, I'm 26, how, how have Inever had a boyfriend before?
Or shoot, I'm, I'm 30, how, Ihaven't purchased a house yet?
(14:07):
We put so much weighton these moments in time
when we're missing the wholepoint of living in this
life, and that's to enjoythe time that we have, to
enjoy the journey, to get tosomewhere where we want to be.
I think having goals andaspirations is so great,
(14:29):
but whenever you get tothem, whenever you hit
them, you're not behind.
You're not late.
And you're not early.
You're right on time.
The next one.
This is my favorite.
You know when you just dosomething for yourself during
the day, you go out and getyour favorite cup of coffee,
(14:51):
and then you're like, oh, youknow what, I'm going to stop in
Trader Joe's and get myself someflowers, and I think I'm going
to go for a walk in the park.
Romanticizing your life.
Ah.
I've always done my bestto do this, and a lot of
my brain thinks, oh, it'sjust overconsumption.
(15:12):
Oh, you don't needanother coffee.
You don't need that20 bouquet of flowers.
Like, no, have someoneelse buy you those.
That 8 cup of coffeeis way too expensive.
You don't need that.
You don't need this.
You don't need to do that.
But romanticize your life.
If that's something thatbrings you pure joy.
(15:33):
Going for a walk outsideor reading your book
or buying yourself flowersor going out to grab a
cup of coffee or justhaving a day for yourself.
And I'm not talking like aday, I'm talking about days.
Multiple days.
Romanticizing your life andcreating the life that you
(15:55):
want to be in, that you wantto be a part of, that you want
to be the main character of.
When you watch these moviesor these TV shows or these
influencers that you watch,they're essentially putting
their life and romanticizingit in some way where you are
jealous or envious or justappreciative of how they're
(16:18):
living this life for you to see.
But I'm telling you thatyou can live that life.
You can romanticize your life.
It doesn't matter how much Moneyyou have, or where you live,
or what you have to do everysingle day, romanticize it.
Make yourself the maincharacter of your book.
(16:42):
And enjoy all of thesesmall things in life.
I think that is exactly the mostimportant thing, and the best
realization that I realized.
And Was doing but didn'teven realize I was doing it.
I was Romanticizing my lifeand I have been I love life.
(17:03):
Are you kidding?
I'm enjoying every little bitand piece of this thing called
life and I Really believe that'sso important and I hope you
know that that's so importanttoo to romanticize your life
You're like, Julia, how doyou romanticize your life?
(17:23):
Well, I'm going to tell youhow you romanticize your life.
How you live your life as ifyou're the main character.
It's the small things.
I really believe thatit's the small things.
It's the moments whereyou are appreciating
exactly who you are.
It's that moment youlook in the mirror and
(17:44):
you're like, oh, okay, shelooks kind of cute today.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
It's wearing your favoritelipstick, giving to yourself,
whether that's in a self,a self love way, whether
that's in a self care way, aself love way, whether that
is in a small appreciationlike buying yourself.
(18:06):
You know all the love languages?
I want you to take all ofthose love languages and
give them to yourself.
Gifts?
Yeah.
Write yourself a card.
Buy yourself flowers.
Get yourself that 8 cupof coffee because it
tastes fucking good.
That was 8 well spent.
Words of affirmation, lookat your beautiful self in the
(18:30):
mirror and be like, I love you.
You are stunning.
You are beautiful.
You are so worthy.
You are enough.
Thank you.
Thank you for existing.
Thank you for being here.
Acts of service.
Take yourself out.
Take yourself outto lunch, to dinner.
(18:52):
Take yourself to the park.
Read your favoritebook on the beach.
Do things for yourself.
Quality time.
Spend time with yourself.
Get to know who you are.
Romanticizing your life.
Not their life.
Not this influencer's life.
(19:13):
Not that person or this person.
Your life.
Just because you don't have amillion things going on every
single day doesn't mean thatyour life isn't exciting.
That your life isn'tthis beautiful life.
Because it is.
Because you created it.
Physical touch.
(19:34):
It is not weird to giveyourself a hug once in a while.
To brush out your hair.
To pamper yourself.
It is a routine, aspiritual routine.
When I get out of a full bodyshower, you know, the whole kit
(19:56):
and caboodle kind of shower,and then I take about 20 minutes
for myself by Putting lotionall over my body to make sure
I'm hydrated, doing my 10 stepskincare routine, and then
blowing out my hair so thatmy next three days I can just
wake up with heatless curlsand be ready to fucking go.
(20:19):
Yeah.
There's no, there'sno coincidence there.
Romanticizing our livesis what we should be
doing with our life.
When you look back on yourentire life, don't you want to
look back on it and be like,wow, I lived such a great life.
(20:43):
Yeah.
Life happens.
I mean there's always aclimax in a book, right?
There's alwayschanges and there's
always concerns andthere's always things that
happen that don't reallynecessarily feel like we're
romanticizing our life, but.
It's, it's part of life, it'spart of the journey as a whole.
(21:09):
So when you get the chance,and I hope that chance is like
right in this moment, rightnow, you get the opportunity
to do things for yourself ina way that you romanticize
your life and make it the lifethat you've always wanted.
(21:30):
These are the small moments,and the small pieces.
of appreciation that createthe bigger picture of us quote
unquote romanticizing our life.
I'm so excited to announcethat Bloom, an immersive self
(21:50):
love experience, is comingback this September 2025.
And this is the perfect timeto tell you about it because
Bloom is exactly that.
Bloom was created on the basisof romanticizing your life.
Bloom was created because youdeserve a day for yourself.
You deserve these smallmoments, this time.
(22:13):
I mean there's a six hour windowso you could stay as long as
you like or come for a littleto give yourself those small
moments of appreciation andself love that you deserve.
Last year we had such anamazing turnout and it was
further confirmation thatwe needed to do this again.
There are vendors, food, drinks.
(22:37):
And, as I mentioned, thoselittle moments of self love
that we get to give ourselves.
The photo ops, the community,the space and the atmosphere,
which is the most importantpart of this event.
I put so much time and energyand effort into making sure
that when you walk intothis space it's comforting,
(22:58):
it's bright, and it'sbeautiful, and it's welcoming.
And that is at the coreof why I created Bloom.
Not just to help you loveyourself more, as we do here
on the Self Love Archives,but to help you build
connections and create newfriendships at these events.
(23:20):
And to feel like youbelong somewhere.
To feel seen.
And what is the best wayto romanticize your life?
What is the best way to giveyourself little self care?
Little things of self love.
It's to go and buyyourself flowers.
Or it's to go outsomewhere with a friend.
(23:41):
Or to be brave and courageousand go somewhere alone.
Or to spend more time withthe women and the people
in your life that you love.
Or it's to meet new businessesand meet new people.
And I hope that Bloomcan be that event and
that space for you.
Tickets are coming soon,so please make sure to
(24:05):
sign up for our emailsat theselflovearchives.
com and I absolutely can'twait to see you at Bloom 2025.
For more information and how tojoin the email list, make sure
to check out the show notesand the description down below.
So, one of the realizationsthat I had in my 30s
(24:27):
that truly changed it allwas understanding that
foundations change everything.
And I'm not talkingabout makeup foundation.
I'm not talking about thefoundation of your house,
although we could argue thatthe foundation of your house
is what holds it up, is it not?
(24:47):
I'm talking about thefoundations of our life.
And how incredibly importantthey are to our success, to
being able to actually thrivein the environments that we are
a part of, and to understandwho we are as a person.
If there isn't a foundationunder a house, then the
(25:08):
house, I think, like, sinksor something like that.
I am no construction worker or,in an, in of any understanding
of construction work.
So, if anyone is Is familiarwith um, engineering or
construction, any of that,and can confirm that if a
house was built without afoundation that it would just
(25:29):
like, maybe go into like asinkhole or something like that?
Or maybe slowly but surely fall?
I think that is a goodeducational assumption
on what would happenwithout foundations.
So if that's what happens,scientifically so to
speak, with homes, thenWhat do we think about us?
(25:56):
I think that if we didn't havefoundations, we would, I don't
think we'd collapse per se.
Without a foundation, likea foundational morning
routine, or night routine.
Or foundational elements in ourlives for work, or for making
(26:16):
sure that we get enough sleep,or making sure that we're doing
the things that we need to doto fuel and refuel our body that
we wouldn't be able to thrive.
It's almost like livinga life without purpose.
Waking up just tosee another day.
(26:36):
Taking the day as itis and going to sleep.
And not getting anythingout of each day.
Now I'm not saying that youneed to get something out of
every single day and everysingle day needs to be perfect.
No, no, no, no.
I'm saying that if we canfoundationally set ourselves
(26:58):
up for success, like having areally amazing morning routine,
I live by my morning routine.
And if I'm being honest.
The past two days, I have reallysucked with my morning routine.
And if I go one more day suckingwith my morning routine, I
think I might lose a reallyimportant foundation that
(27:20):
kind of sets up my entire day.
If I didn't foundationallyunderstand who I was as
a person, I would letpeople walk all over me.
There would be noboundaries set.
Yeah, sure, take your pick.
You want to step on my face?
You want to step on my legs?
Like, you want to crush me?
(27:41):
Sure, go ahead, becauseapparently I don't have any
foundations to hold me upand give me a backbone to
stand up to you and say no.
To tell you thatI have a boundary.
Or to tell you exactly who I am.
Foundationally, having thesebeautiful foundations that we've
(28:05):
set up for ourselves to help us.
To succeed in work, to succeedin play, to succeed in our
creativity, to succeed inour relationships, those
foundations include knowingwho we are, and I'm not just
talking about surface levelknowing who we are, because
(28:27):
normally you can't seefoundations of a house, right?
They're usually underground.
I'm talking about truly knowingwho we are on the inside.
What we like.
What brings us joy, what makesus angry, what makes us sad,
foundationally knowing yourself.
(28:50):
When you truly know whoyou are, when you know
the depths of yourself,it puts us in a
place of control.
It puts us in a placeof appreciation.
It puts us in aplace of courage.
Because when we know who we areWe know how to thrive, who to
(29:14):
thrive with, and who we are.
Don't you want toknow who you are?
Don't you want to know thebody that you are inhabiting?
The heart thatbeats in your chest?
The brain thatworks in your head?
Don't you want tounderstand who you are?
And I think understandingwho you are is at the core of
(29:36):
building amazing foundationsthat then lead to us building
and growing and thriving.
Taking it from experience,the more I run away from my
foundations of my life, themore I run away from myself,
and the more I get further away.
(29:58):
From the goals that I want toreach, the person that I am,
the less I am living in thelife that I want to live, the
less I'm romanticizing my life.
And in my first year of my 30s,I really, really got serious.
I've been trying for yearsto change my routines and
(30:22):
really get to know who I am.
And I think I betterthem as the years go by.
So this is not just a lesson anda realization for my early 30s.
This is a lesson and arealization for my entire life.
And we don't have tohave it figured out yet,
but it's really great tounderstand what you know.
(30:47):
And to be open to understandingand getting to know yourself
better so that you can buildthese strong foundations.
As they say, Pompeiiwasn't built in a day.
Is that what they say?
No, I'm sorry.
I think they say Romewasn't built in a day.
I am not, and I've said thisbefore, I am not a history girl.
(31:11):
At all.
Okay?
I, I'm not a historygirl, so I hope you're
not here for history,we're here for self love.
Though that would make areally interesting episode.
Any history teachers out therewant to do a self love episode
on the history of self love?
I think that would be verycool and very important.
(31:33):
And then you can reallyunderstand how history
is not my thing.
Your body is always,always changing.
Embrace it for what it is today.
This is a constant lesson.
(31:54):
As someone who struggles to lovetheir body day in and day out.
And it will most likelyalways be a struggle for me.
For my whole life.
I have good daysand I have bad days.
Just like I'm sure you havegood days and you have bad
days where you love your body.
Our bodies are always changing.
(32:16):
They're going to go throughchanges, we are getting older,
and that's not something tofear, that's something to
cherish, that's somethingto be like, wow, this is so
amazing to see life unfoldin front of me, through this
(32:36):
body that I get to call home.
Rather than trying to findthat same feeling, or that
same way, That you've alwaysused to take care of your body.
Find new ways to loveand care for your body.
(32:57):
Just like the world around usis changing, just like we are
changing, the ways that we carefor ourselves can change too.
Sometimes we might bestuck in our ways, right?
We might be saying, well,this worked when I was
25, so it should work now.
Sometimes that's not thecase, and that's okay.
I do believe going back towhat has worked before is
(33:20):
always the best place to start.
But understand, if that waydoesn't work anymore, that
it's okay to try something new.
That if you used to runall the time, but now
running just doesn't feelthe same, that's okay.
Try something else.
(33:40):
Try going for likea light paced walk.
Or maybe you always ranon a treadmill inside of
a gym and that's just notdoing it for you anymore.
Try running outside.
Try running with a friend.
Try not to run at all.
Try something else.
Or try something that movesyour body in a different way.
(34:05):
If this color always madeus feel so good in our skin.
But now when we put on thissame color, let's say, oh,
I have a good one for me.
Let's say, for me actually,it was always red.
I never wore red.
I just wasn't a fan of red.
I think I was in that phasewhen like that deep burgundy
(34:27):
purplish red was a thing backin, back in college like 2016.
Red was definitely a thing andI wore a lot of red and I have
since Got rid of every piece ofred that I own until this year.
And now I actually am partiallyobsessed Like partially, like
(34:54):
maybe a little too obsessedI'm still in my red era But
that just goes to show thatit's okay to take care of
your body, to clothe yourbody, to look at your body in
different ways In better ways.
It's okay to change aroutine that might not
(35:14):
be working anymore.
Or it's okay to go to adifferent gym, or to try a
different type of clothing,or to do something that
is different for yourself.
Sometimes what used to workmight not work anymore.
Or maybe it does, but justwith some little tweaks.
We have to stop being so hard onour bodies and the growth that
(35:36):
we go through as we get older.
And we have to cherish whowe are, and what we are, and
what we have right now inthis very moment beyond what
our physical body is, feelslike, and what it looks like.
There was this beautiful poem.
(35:57):
That had gone viral on socialthat this writer wrote and
it talked about how No oneremembered what her stomach
looked like that day that shewas feeling self conscious
pulling her shirt down Theyremembered how good of a time
they had together and no oneremembered the acne on her
(36:21):
face When she saw old friends,but they remembered the time
that they had spent togetheror the good food that they
ate together The only personthat's going to hold on to that
memory of how you felt is you.
And rather than put so muchenergy into how you feel
(36:44):
negatively about your bodyin this moment, that new
gray hair that popped up, orthat extra weight that you're
carrying in your stomach,or that spider vein that's
starting to pop up on yourlegs, why not give yourself
a little love in the mirror?
Embrace these new changes,even though it's hard,
(37:05):
because I know that it is.
And enjoy these moments andromanticize your life with
these people that you want tobe surrounded with, with these
things and these experiences.
As I said, we're constantlychanging, and our bodies
are going to change, too.
(37:27):
You can love and care foryour body in new ways.
Sometimes it just takesa little figuring out.
Number five, the lastrealization of my first year of
my thirties that is helping methrive in this life is that I'm
(37:48):
already becoming my higher self.
You are already becomingyour higher self.
This has to be mybiggest realization.
I am already becoming my higherself, just as you are already
becoming your higher self.
(38:09):
In my head, there are a couplepeople, but mainly two people,
and the two people that talkto each other and interact
with each other the most.
It's me.
And it's my higher self.
There's also a younger versionof me as well that's kind of a
representation of my past self.
(38:30):
It's almost like, um, What'sthat, what's that Scrooge movie?
But you have the past,present, and future, right?
And I am my presentself in the flesh.
Watching my presentself in my head.
interact with my higher self.
And then you have my youngerself, or my past self, who
(38:54):
doesn't usually say muchor say anything at all.
So for the most part, thetwo that are talking is
me and my higher self.
And, I was meditating recently.
So, this is like a realizationtowards the end of My 30, my
(39:17):
first 30th year, my first yearin my 30s, I was talking to
my higher self and she alwayswears these big dresses and
not like ball gown dresses,like really tight sparkly
(39:38):
dresses, it's always sparklyand it's, it's funny because
she was always in a red dress.
And recently I askedher, I'm like, can you
change it to green?
You guys probably thinkI'm so crazy right now.
And it just, it never stuck.
The green never stuck.
Like, it just wouldalways go back to red.
(40:00):
So when I'm meditating, whenI'm dreaming, whenever I
am just with myself, thisis who I'm talking to.
It's my higher self.
It's like having conversationswith your higher self.
And I hope you guys getto meet her one day.
But I'm having a conversationwith her, and I'm saying,
(40:24):
I'm saying to her, Why,why am I not you yet?
And she's like,what do you mean?
You are me.
And in that moment, it wasjust this weird light bulb
moment where all of a sudden,I'm wearing this sparkly
dress that she's wearing.
Like, I'm in this red sparklydress because I am her.
(40:45):
My higher self is me.
I am becoming her.
And I will constantly continueto become versions of her as
I grow, as I step forward,as I become more of me.
(41:06):
I am constantly becoming her.
It's Like the journey of lovingourselves, we are constantly
choosing to love ourself inthe ways that we are constantly
choosing to be the best andhighest version of ourselves.
(41:26):
So my realization of myfirst year in my 30s, and the
best one yet, is that we arebecoming our higher selves.
We have been.
We just needed to takea second to step back
and be like, Oh shit!Look at what we've come from.
(41:47):
Look at where we've come from.
And how we've gotten fromwhere we were at 10 years
ago to who we are today.
All this to say, we arebecoming our higher selves.
You are becomingyour higher self.
(42:08):
But the way to realize that istaking a step back and actually
looking at how far you've come.
Because you've come far.
You've been throughhell and back.
You have climbed mountains,jumped over obstacles, you
(42:30):
have gotten through so manyyears of your life to be
here in this very moment.
And for that, if no one'stold you, I need you to look
at yourself in the mirrorand say, I'm proud of you.
Look at everythingthat you've done.
Look at how you havegone from then to now.
(42:55):
And how amazing is that?
And if it feels weird to sayI'm proud of you while looking
at yourself in the mirror, justknow that I'm proud of you.
You are becomingyour higher self.
Because you are.
Her 365 days of being in mythirties, and these are the
(43:23):
five realizations that I've hadthat have absolutely changed
everything, and I just know thatliving as my higher self with
great foundations, knowing thatI don't have to figure it all
out, loving myself inside andout in all of the new ways that
(43:43):
I can care and love for my body.
And lastly,romanticizing my life.
It feels like we are astep or two or five in the
right direction of our 30s.
Thank you for tuning intothis week's podcast episode.
(44:03):
I hope you give usa follow on social.
We have so many things coming.
And I'm so excited toshare all of them with you.
If you want tickets to Bloom,if you don't want to miss out
on our first launch of only50 tickets, make sure you are
(44:24):
signed up for our email list.
You will be the first personto know when tickets go live.
And I am so grateful.
That you are here today,listening to this episode,
I just want you to know.
And another reminder ofhow proud I am of you.
Thank you for listening,thank you for being here.
(44:45):
If you have any questions,comments, concerns, or any
stories, or anything thatyou want to share with me,
please feel free to reachout to me on socials, at the
self love archive, or at theself love archives, or you
can comment it down below.
I love you.
I hope you havethe best week ever.
(45:06):
And I will see you twoweeks from now on Sunday
at 12 o'clock Eastern Time.
I love you.
Bye.
Is this thing on?
Millennials channelingtheir inner Britney Spears.
Is this thing on?
Time is a mental construct.
And being 30, now 31, doesn'treally make a difference, right?
(00:24):
I was 30 48 hours ago.
At the time of filming this,I am technically still 30.
Not 31 just yet.
But time is a mental construct.
Someone one day said.
You know, I think we shouldmake a clock and make the
(00:46):
arms go around so it can tellus what time of day it is.
And, and we should make acalendar where there's a
month called February, andthe month after that is March.
And maybe we should have aDecember somewhere in there.
And there's 365 days ina year, but some of those
(01:12):
days, I think some of thoseyears we need to do it.
366 days.
Someone made this up one day.
Let that sink in.
Someone made up themonths, the time, the day.
Someone decided, and everyonecollectively agreed, to this
(01:32):
chaotic thing that we call time.
And said, yeah, I thinka day should be 24 hours.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You agree?
Yeah?
Okay, great.
One day.
24 hours.
And then everybody juststarted paying attention
to this Gregorian calendar.
I think that's what it's called.
(01:54):
So time is truly amental construct.
But then, if time is amental construct, if time
is this thing that we justmade up one day, then why
do we put so much weight?
into how old we are.
There are these significantyears of our life that we put
so much significance around.
(02:17):
16, 21, 30, 40, 50,60, so on and so forth.
We put so much weight intothese moments when, in
actuality, five minutes agoyou were 29 and now you're 30.
(02:38):
You're not any differentjust because you turned
a different number.
Sure, some things scientificallymake sense with time.
But if we really take a secondto understand and realize just
how ridiculous time is, maybewe wouldn't put so much weight.
(03:04):
on every singlemoment of our lives.
Maybe we wouldn't put somuch weight in our thirties
on our biological clock.
Maybe we wouldn't put somuch weight on ourselves
when we turn fifty andwe feel like we're, well,
we're halfway to a hundred.
(03:26):
Maybe we wouldn't put so muchweight on ourselves on 21 as
the age that we finally get tohave a legal sip of alcohol.
And maybe we wouldn'tput so much weight on
having the biggest partyever when we turn 16.
See, if we take time out of itand just looked at this point in
(03:49):
our lives for what it is today,we can have an understanding
of who we are and whatour time looks like, what
our journey looks like,what our clock looks like.
There is no comparingit to anyone else.
(04:09):
Just because society makes youbelieve that you're supposed to
have something at a certain timedoes not mean that you're
supposed to have somethingat a certain time just
because they said so.
I am past, officially past,as you're listening to
(04:31):
this episode, the 30 point.
In my journey of life on thisearth, and I am officially 31.
At the time of filming this,I am still 30, but at the time
you are listening to this, Iam officially 31, and I just
celebrated my 31st birthday.
(04:53):
And to say that I changeda lot in the past year
is not an understatement.
I think, and I believethat we can go through
so much change in a year.
A year is a pretty long time.
But what I'm about to sharewith you in today's episode
Are realizations and lessonsthat I learned in my first year
(05:14):
in my 30s that I think anyonecan take from this episode.
Whether you are in your20s, your teens, your
50s, doesn't matter.
I think these realizationsare so They're incredibly
important and they might justbe right in front of your face.
(05:45):
Welcome back to the SelfLove Archives podcast.
My name is Julia Salvia andI am your self love bestie.
Welcome back or welcometo your safe space.
This is the podcast wherewe talk about self love and
there are so many thingsthat encompass self love.
Of relationships, of challenges,of learning, of growing, of
(06:10):
really getting to understandwho we are in a deep way.
And that's whatwe're here to do.
I am officially 31 and spentmy first year in my 30s.
Now, does thatreally mean munch?
Munch?
Does it?
Does that really mean muchat the end of the day?
No.
(06:30):
Not really.
But a year is a long time,whether we are 30 to 31,
50 to 51, 25 to 26, ayear is such a long time.
And sometimes we can make suchamazing breakthroughs in a year.
And I want to share my fivelessons, five realizations
(06:55):
that I learned in myfirst year of my 30s.
If you are on a biological timeclock, or if you think you're
on some sort of biologicaltime clock, I think you're
gonna love this first one.
You do not have to haveit all figured out.
(07:16):
But Julia, I'm, I'm, I'm 30now, I'm 31 now, I, I need
to have this figured out,like, Time is slipping away.
I'm getting old.
My biological time clock, my,my job, my this, I need to
have this all figured out.
Says who?
Says who?
Who said that by 30, youneeded to have your dream job,
(07:41):
your dream house, your dreampartner, your dream life?
Who said that by 30, That byany age, that you needed to
have these things somehow ona checklist, just checked off.
Yep, got it, perfect, amazing.
We have our body ofour dreams, we have the
partner of our dreams.
(08:02):
Who said that?
Who said that 30 waslike the end all be all?
That if you didn't have thisfigured out now, you weren't
ever going to figure it out.
See, the catch is, we'reconstantly changing, and so
are the people around us, andso is the world around us.
(08:22):
So to think that at anygiven moment we would have
everything figured out?
Partially ignorant.
Partially a little silly.
I mean, yes, go you.
I hope that one day I canstand here and confidently
say, yeah, I have itall fucking figured out.
(08:43):
Do I potentially look likeI have it all figured out?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, but that's, thatis an assumption that
other people make.
Because they also don'thave it all figured out.
And I think it'd be sillyto think that anyone
has it all figured out.
Especially with how much changewe go through in our lives.
(09:07):
Each day, each month, each year.
You don't have to haveit all figured out.
And it's okay if you don't.
You have the time.
You have the capability.
Yeah, life is short,but life is also long.
And it'd be a shame for youto rush through just to figure
(09:30):
it out when the journey thatyou're on the journey in
your career that you're on,for example, is too long.
Why wouldn't you want toenjoy that journey to get
to where you want to be?
Because I think that if werush things sometimes just to
figure it out, that we almostget farther away from figuring
(09:53):
it out when we aren't honestwith where we're at in order
to get to where we want to be.
There's no imaginarybook that tells you at a
certain point in your life.
Which is so differentand so unique from other
people, by the way.
I don't know why you wouldthink that there would
(10:14):
be one specific time.
And I think 30 is that specifictime that most people have
in their head that they needcertain things figured out.
That by 30 they needto basically have their
entire life figured out.
Because 30 and beyondall becomes like one
whole blur together.
But that's not true.
(10:35):
And I don't know whostarted that rumor, but
we need to have a chat.
Okay, we need to have a chat.
But Julia, my biological clock,your biological clock what?
You need to have kids rightnow, right this second because
you think you're behind?
Let me tell you a personalstory, and this one is This
(11:00):
one is a rough and a sadpersonal story, and maybe it
doesn't fit the parametersof what we're really talking
about here, but it gets tothe nitty gritty of where
we don't need to be rushing.
Because when we're rushing, itseems as though we're paying
attention to everyone elsearound us, who we think have
(11:22):
it figured out, and they don't.
So I had a reallytough beginning of my
teens, if you will.
I met a guy who was withmy, with me, was kind of my
boyfriend for about two yearsand this relationship was
(11:44):
point blank, illegal, notsomething that I should have
been, someone I should havebeen in a relationship with.
Um, when I left thisrelationship, extremely damaged
emotionally, physically,all the above, I left this
relationship when I was 16.
And I thought thateveryone around me at 16
(12:06):
had been, they're alreadyin relationships, they're
already in this placewhere they've grown up.
And I thought I was well behind.
I thought that I wasstill a kid, still a baby.
I hadn't experiencedthings that I should
have experienced already.
So I set up a date and askedsomeone to take my virginity
(12:32):
because I thought I was behind.
And I partially wanted thisto happen because I wanted
to kind of take back mypower in a way to be able
to say that that's genuinelywhen I lost my virginity and
unfortunately that's not true.
But in that moment there were,there were two parts to it.
(12:54):
Me taking back control to kindof cover up something that had
happened in that relationshipthat I was embarrassed of.
But also To put myselfin a position where I was
quote unquote caught upwith everyone around me.
(13:15):
And looking back at thatnow, being twice my, twice
my age at this point, howsilly that I took away
time that I could have hadto learn more about myself,
to understand myself more.
(13:39):
And, rather than rush forsomething to happen because
I thought I was behind.
And I think the samething happens to us in
other parts of our lives.
We rush into a relationshipbecause we think, oh god,
I'm, I'm 26, how, how have Inever had a boyfriend before?
Or shoot, I'm, I'm 30, how, Ihaven't purchased a house yet?
(14:07):
We put so much weighton these moments in time
when we're missing the wholepoint of living in this
life, and that's to enjoythe time that we have, to
enjoy the journey, to get tosomewhere where we want to be.
I think having goals andaspirations is so great,
(14:29):
but whenever you get tothem, whenever you hit
them, you're not behind.
You're not late.
And you're not early.
You're right on time.
The next one.
This is my favorite.
You know when you just dosomething for yourself during
the day, you go out and getyour favorite cup of coffee,
(14:51):
and then you're like, oh, youknow what, I'm going to stop in
Trader Joe's and get myself someflowers, and I think I'm going
to go for a walk in the park.
Romanticizing your life.
Ah.
I've always done my bestto do this, and a lot of
my brain thinks, oh, it'sjust overconsumption.
(15:12):
Oh, you don't needanother coffee.
You don't need that20 bouquet of flowers.
Like, no, have someoneelse buy you those.
That 8 cup of coffeeis way too expensive.
You don't need that.
You don't need this.
You don't need to do that.
But romanticize your life.
If that's something thatbrings you pure joy.
(15:33):
Going for a walk outsideor reading your book
or buying yourself flowersor going out to grab a
cup of coffee or justhaving a day for yourself.
And I'm not talking like aday, I'm talking about days.
Multiple days.
Romanticizing your life andcreating the life that you
(15:55):
want to be in, that you wantto be a part of, that you want
to be the main character of.
When you watch these moviesor these TV shows or these
influencers that you watch,they're essentially putting
their life and romanticizingit in some way where you are
jealous or envious or justappreciative of how they're
(16:18):
living this life for you to see.
But I'm telling you thatyou can live that life.
You can romanticize your life.
It doesn't matter how much Moneyyou have, or where you live,
or what you have to do everysingle day, romanticize it.
Make yourself the maincharacter of your book.
(16:42):
And enjoy all of thesesmall things in life.
I think that is exactly the mostimportant thing, and the best
realization that I realized.
And Was doing but didn'teven realize I was doing it.
I was Romanticizing my lifeand I have been I love life.
(17:03):
Are you kidding?
I'm enjoying every little bitand piece of this thing called
life and I Really believe that'sso important and I hope you
know that that's so importanttoo to romanticize your life
You're like, Julia, how doyou romanticize your life?
(17:23):
Well, I'm going to tell youhow you romanticize your life.
How you live your life as ifyou're the main character.
It's the small things.
I really believe thatit's the small things.
It's the moments whereyou are appreciating
exactly who you are.
It's that moment youlook in the mirror and
(17:44):
you're like, oh, okay, shelooks kind of cute today.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
It's wearing your favoritelipstick, giving to yourself,
whether that's in a self,a self love way, whether
that's in a self care way, aself love way, whether that
is in a small appreciationlike buying yourself.
(18:06):
You know all the love languages?
I want you to take all ofthose love languages and
give them to yourself.
Gifts?
Yeah.
Write yourself a card.
Buy yourself flowers.
Get yourself that 8 cupof coffee because it
tastes fucking good.
That was 8 well spent.
Words of affirmation, lookat your beautiful self in the
(18:30):
mirror and be like, I love you.
You are stunning.
You are beautiful.
You are so worthy.
You are enough.
Thank you.
Thank you for existing.
Thank you for being here.
Acts of service.
Take yourself out.
Take yourself outto lunch, to dinner.
(18:52):
Take yourself to the park.
Read your favoritebook on the beach.
Do things for yourself.
Quality time.
Spend time with yourself.
Get to know who you are.
Romanticizing your life.
Not their life.
Not this influencer's life.
(19:13):
Not that person or this person.
Your life.
Just because you don't have amillion things going on every
single day doesn't mean thatyour life isn't exciting.
That your life isn'tthis beautiful life.
Because it is.
Because you created it.
Physical touch.
(19:34):
It is not weird to giveyourself a hug once in a while.
To brush out your hair.
To pamper yourself.
It is a routine, aspiritual routine.
When I get out of a full bodyshower, you know, the whole kit
(19:56):
and caboodle kind of shower,and then I take about 20 minutes
for myself by Putting lotionall over my body to make sure
I'm hydrated, doing my 10 stepskincare routine, and then
blowing out my hair so thatmy next three days I can just
wake up with heatless curlsand be ready to fucking go.
(20:19):
Yeah.
There's no, there'sno coincidence there.
Romanticizing our livesis what we should be
doing with our life.
When you look back on yourentire life, don't you want to
look back on it and be like,wow, I lived such a great life.
(20:43):
Yeah.
Life happens.
I mean there's always aclimax in a book, right?
There's alwayschanges and there's
always concerns andthere's always things that
happen that don't reallynecessarily feel like we're
romanticizing our life, but.
It's, it's part of life, it'spart of the journey as a whole.
(21:09):
So when you get the chance,and I hope that chance is like
right in this moment, rightnow, you get the opportunity
to do things for yourself ina way that you romanticize
your life and make it the lifethat you've always wanted.
(21:30):
These are the small moments,and the small pieces.
of appreciation that createthe bigger picture of us quote
unquote romanticizing our life.
I'm so excited to announcethat Bloom, an immersive self
(21:50):
love experience, is comingback this September 2025.
And this is the perfect timeto tell you about it because
Bloom is exactly that.
Bloom was created on the basisof romanticizing your life.
Bloom was created because youdeserve a day for yourself.
You deserve these smallmoments, this time.
(22:13):
I mean there's a six hour windowso you could stay as long as
you like or come for a littleto give yourself those small
moments of appreciation andself love that you deserve.
Last year we had such anamazing turnout and it was
further confirmation thatwe needed to do this again.
There are vendors, food, drinks.
(22:37):
And, as I mentioned, thoselittle moments of self love
that we get to give ourselves.
The photo ops, the community,the space and the atmosphere,
which is the most importantpart of this event.
I put so much time and energyand effort into making sure
that when you walk intothis space it's comforting,
(22:58):
it's bright, and it'sbeautiful, and it's welcoming.
And that is at the coreof why I created Bloom.
Not just to help you loveyourself more, as we do here
on the Self Love Archives,but to help you build
connections and create newfriendships at these events.
(23:20):
And to feel like youbelong somewhere.
To feel seen.
And what is the best wayto romanticize your life?
What is the best way to giveyourself little self care?
Little things of self love.
It's to go and buyyourself flowers.
Or it's to go outsomewhere with a friend.
(23:41):
Or to be brave and courageousand go somewhere alone.
Or to spend more time withthe women and the people
in your life that you love.
Or it's to meet new businessesand meet new people.
And I hope that Bloomcan be that event and
that space for you.
Tickets are coming soon,so please make sure to
(24:05):
sign up for our emailsat theselflovearchives.
com and I absolutely can'twait to see you at Bloom 2025.
For more information and how tojoin the email list, make sure
to check out the show notesand the description down below.
So, one of the realizationsthat I had in my 30s
(24:27):
that truly changed it allwas understanding that
foundations change everything.
And I'm not talkingabout makeup foundation.
I'm not talking about thefoundation of your house,
although we could argue thatthe foundation of your house
is what holds it up, is it not?
(24:47):
I'm talking about thefoundations of our life.
And how incredibly importantthey are to our success, to
being able to actually thrivein the environments that we are
a part of, and to understandwho we are as a person.
If there isn't a foundationunder a house, then the
(25:08):
house, I think, like, sinksor something like that.
I am no construction worker or,in an, in of any understanding
of construction work.
So, if anyone is Is familiarwith um, engineering or
construction, any of that,and can confirm that if a
house was built without afoundation that it would just
(25:29):
like, maybe go into like asinkhole or something like that?
Or maybe slowly but surely fall?
I think that is a goodeducational assumption
on what would happenwithout foundations.
So if that's what happens,scientifically so to
speak, with homes, thenWhat do we think about us?
(25:56):
I think that if we didn't havefoundations, we would, I don't
think we'd collapse per se.
Without a foundation, likea foundational morning
routine, or night routine.
Or foundational elements in ourlives for work, or for making
(26:16):
sure that we get enough sleep,or making sure that we're doing
the things that we need to doto fuel and refuel our body that
we wouldn't be able to thrive.
It's almost like livinga life without purpose.
Waking up just tosee another day.
(26:36):
Taking the day as itis and going to sleep.
And not getting anythingout of each day.
Now I'm not saying that youneed to get something out of
every single day and everysingle day needs to be perfect.
No, no, no, no.
I'm saying that if we canfoundationally set ourselves
(26:58):
up for success, like having areally amazing morning routine,
I live by my morning routine.
And if I'm being honest.
The past two days, I have reallysucked with my morning routine.
And if I go one more day suckingwith my morning routine, I
think I might lose a reallyimportant foundation that
(27:20):
kind of sets up my entire day.
If I didn't foundationallyunderstand who I was as
a person, I would letpeople walk all over me.
There would be noboundaries set.
Yeah, sure, take your pick.
You want to step on my face?
You want to step on my legs?
Like, you want to crush me?
(27:41):
Sure, go ahead, becauseapparently I don't have any
foundations to hold me upand give me a backbone to
stand up to you and say no.
To tell you thatI have a boundary.
Or to tell you exactly who I am.
Foundationally, having thesebeautiful foundations that we've
(28:05):
set up for ourselves to help us.
To succeed in work, to succeedin play, to succeed in our
creativity, to succeed inour relationships, those
foundations include knowingwho we are, and I'm not just
talking about surface levelknowing who we are, because
(28:27):
normally you can't seefoundations of a house, right?
They're usually underground.
I'm talking about truly knowingwho we are on the inside.
What we like.
What brings us joy, what makesus angry, what makes us sad,
foundationally knowing yourself.
(28:50):
When you truly know whoyou are, when you know
the depths of yourself,it puts us in a
place of control.
It puts us in a placeof appreciation.
It puts us in aplace of courage.
Because when we know who we areWe know how to thrive, who to
(29:14):
thrive with, and who we are.
Don't you want toknow who you are?
Don't you want to know thebody that you are inhabiting?
The heart thatbeats in your chest?
The brain thatworks in your head?
Don't you want tounderstand who you are?
And I think understandingwho you are is at the core of
(29:36):
building amazing foundationsthat then lead to us building
and growing and thriving.
Taking it from experience,the more I run away from my
foundations of my life, themore I run away from myself,
and the more I get further away.
(29:58):
From the goals that I want toreach, the person that I am,
the less I am living in thelife that I want to live, the
less I'm romanticizing my life.
And in my first year of my 30s,I really, really got serious.
I've been trying for yearsto change my routines and
(30:22):
really get to know who I am.
And I think I betterthem as the years go by.
So this is not just a lesson anda realization for my early 30s.
This is a lesson and arealization for my entire life.
And we don't have tohave it figured out yet,
but it's really great tounderstand what you know.
(30:47):
And to be open to understandingand getting to know yourself
better so that you can buildthese strong foundations.
As they say, Pompeiiwasn't built in a day.
Is that what they say?
No, I'm sorry.
I think they say Romewasn't built in a day.
I am not, and I've said thisbefore, I am not a history girl.
(31:11):
At all.
Okay?
I, I'm not a historygirl, so I hope you're
not here for history,we're here for self love.
Though that would make areally interesting episode.
Any history teachers out therewant to do a self love episode
on the history of self love?
I think that would be verycool and very important.
(31:33):
And then you can reallyunderstand how history
is not my thing.
Your body is always,always changing.
Embrace it for what it is today.
This is a constant lesson.
(31:54):
As someone who struggles to lovetheir body day in and day out.
And it will most likelyalways be a struggle for me.
For my whole life.
I have good daysand I have bad days.
Just like I'm sure you havegood days and you have bad
days where you love your body.
Our bodies are always changing.
(32:16):
They're going to go throughchanges, we are getting older,
and that's not something tofear, that's something to
cherish, that's somethingto be like, wow, this is so
amazing to see life unfoldin front of me, through this
(32:36):
body that I get to call home.
Rather than trying to findthat same feeling, or that
same way, That you've alwaysused to take care of your body.
Find new ways to loveand care for your body.
(32:57):
Just like the world around usis changing, just like we are
changing, the ways that we carefor ourselves can change too.
Sometimes we might bestuck in our ways, right?
We might be saying, well,this worked when I was
25, so it should work now.
Sometimes that's not thecase, and that's okay.
I do believe going back towhat has worked before is
(33:20):
always the best place to start.
But understand, if that waydoesn't work anymore, that
it's okay to try something new.
That if you used to runall the time, but now
running just doesn't feelthe same, that's okay.
Try something else.
(33:40):
Try going for likea light paced walk.
Or maybe you always ranon a treadmill inside of
a gym and that's just notdoing it for you anymore.
Try running outside.
Try running with a friend.
Try not to run at all.
Try something else.
Or try something that movesyour body in a different way.
(34:05):
If this color always madeus feel so good in our skin.
But now when we put on thissame color, let's say, oh,
I have a good one for me.
Let's say, for me actually,it was always red.
I never wore red.
I just wasn't a fan of red.
I think I was in that phasewhen like that deep burgundy
(34:27):
purplish red was a thing backin, back in college like 2016.
Red was definitely a thing andI wore a lot of red and I have
since Got rid of every piece ofred that I own until this year.
And now I actually am partiallyobsessed Like partially, like
(34:54):
maybe a little too obsessedI'm still in my red era But
that just goes to show thatit's okay to take care of
your body, to clothe yourbody, to look at your body in
different ways In better ways.
It's okay to change aroutine that might not
(35:14):
be working anymore.
Or it's okay to go to adifferent gym, or to try a
different type of clothing,or to do something that
is different for yourself.
Sometimes what used to workmight not work anymore.
Or maybe it does, but justwith some little tweaks.
We have to stop being so hard onour bodies and the growth that
(35:36):
we go through as we get older.
And we have to cherish whowe are, and what we are, and
what we have right now inthis very moment beyond what
our physical body is, feelslike, and what it looks like.
There was this beautiful poem.
(35:57):
That had gone viral on socialthat this writer wrote and
it talked about how No oneremembered what her stomach
looked like that day that shewas feeling self conscious
pulling her shirt down Theyremembered how good of a time
they had together and no oneremembered the acne on her
(36:21):
face When she saw old friends,but they remembered the time
that they had spent togetheror the good food that they
ate together The only personthat's going to hold on to that
memory of how you felt is you.
And rather than put so muchenergy into how you feel
(36:44):
negatively about your bodyin this moment, that new
gray hair that popped up, orthat extra weight that you're
carrying in your stomach,or that spider vein that's
starting to pop up on yourlegs, why not give yourself
a little love in the mirror?
Embrace these new changes,even though it's hard,
(37:05):
because I know that it is.
And enjoy these moments andromanticize your life with
these people that you want tobe surrounded with, with these
things and these experiences.
As I said, we're constantlychanging, and our bodies
are going to change, too.
(37:27):
You can love and care foryour body in new ways.
Sometimes it just takesa little figuring out.
Number five, the lastrealization of my first year of
my thirties that is helping methrive in this life is that I'm
(37:48):
already becoming my higher self.
You are already becomingyour higher self.
This has to be mybiggest realization.
I am already becoming my higherself, just as you are already
becoming your higher self.
(38:09):
In my head, there are a couplepeople, but mainly two people,
and the two people that talkto each other and interact
with each other the most.
It's me.
And it's my higher self.
There's also a younger versionof me as well that's kind of a
representation of my past self.
(38:30):
It's almost like, um, What'sthat, what's that Scrooge movie?
But you have the past,present, and future, right?
And I am my presentself in the flesh.
Watching my presentself in my head.
interact with my higher self.
And then you have my youngerself, or my past self, who
(38:54):
doesn't usually say muchor say anything at all.
So for the most part, thetwo that are talking is
me and my higher self.
And, I was meditating recently.
So, this is like a realizationtowards the end of My 30, my
(39:17):
first 30th year, my first yearin my 30s, I was talking to
my higher self and she alwayswears these big dresses and
not like ball gown dresses,like really tight sparkly
(39:38):
dresses, it's always sparklyand it's, it's funny because
she was always in a red dress.
And recently I askedher, I'm like, can you
change it to green?
You guys probably thinkI'm so crazy right now.
And it just, it never stuck.
The green never stuck.
Like, it just wouldalways go back to red.
(40:00):
So when I'm meditating, whenI'm dreaming, whenever I
am just with myself, thisis who I'm talking to.
It's my higher self.
It's like having conversationswith your higher self.
And I hope you guys getto meet her one day.
But I'm having a conversationwith her, and I'm saying,
(40:24):
I'm saying to her, Why,why am I not you yet?
And she's like,what do you mean?
You are me.
And in that moment, it wasjust this weird light bulb
moment where all of a sudden,I'm wearing this sparkly
dress that she's wearing.
Like, I'm in this red sparklydress because I am her.
(40:45):
My higher self is me.
I am becoming her.
And I will constantly continueto become versions of her as
I grow, as I step forward,as I become more of me.
(41:06):
I am constantly becoming her.
It's Like the journey of lovingourselves, we are constantly
choosing to love ourself inthe ways that we are constantly
choosing to be the best andhighest version of ourselves.
(41:26):
So my realization of myfirst year in my 30s, and the
best one yet, is that we arebecoming our higher selves.
We have been.
We just needed to takea second to step back
and be like, Oh shit!Look at what we've come from.
(41:47):
Look at where we've come from.
And how we've gotten fromwhere we were at 10 years
ago to who we are today.
All this to say, we arebecoming our higher selves.
You are becomingyour higher self.
(42:08):
But the way to realize that istaking a step back and actually
looking at how far you've come.
Because you've come far.
You've been throughhell and back.
You have climbed mountains,jumped over obstacles, you
(42:30):
have gotten through so manyyears of your life to be
here in this very moment.
And for that, if no one'stold you, I need you to look
at yourself in the mirrorand say, I'm proud of you.
Look at everythingthat you've done.
Look at how you havegone from then to now.
(42:55):
And how amazing is that?
And if it feels weird to sayI'm proud of you while looking
at yourself in the mirror, justknow that I'm proud of you.
You are becomingyour higher self.
Because you are.
Her 365 days of being in mythirties, and these are the
(43:23):
five realizations that I've hadthat have absolutely changed
everything, and I just know thatliving as my higher self with
great foundations, knowing thatI don't have to figure it all
out, loving myself inside andout in all of the new ways that
(43:43):
I can care and love for my body.
And lastly,romanticizing my life.
It feels like we are astep or two or five in the
right direction of our 30s.
Thank you for tuning intothis week's podcast episode.
(44:03):
I hope you give usa follow on social.
We have so many things coming.
And I'm so excited toshare all of them with you.
If you want tickets to Bloom,if you don't want to miss out
on our first launch of only50 tickets, make sure you are
(44:24):
signed up for our email list.
You will be the first personto know when tickets go live.
And I am so grateful.
That you are here today,listening to this episode,
I just want you to know.
And another reminder ofhow proud I am of you.
Thank you for listening,thank you for being here.
(44:45):
If you have any questions,comments, concerns, or any
stories, or anything thatyou want to share with me,
please feel free to reachout to me on socials, at the
self love archive, or at theself love archives, or you
can comment it down below.
I love you.
I hope you havethe best week ever.
(45:06):
And I will see you twoweeks from now on Sunday
at 12 o'clock Eastern Time.
I love you.
Bye.
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