March 16, 2025 • 52 mins
this conversation goes beyond the headlines—diving into how media, power, and storytelling shape our understanding of abuse and who gets to be believed. let’s talk about the impact, the contradictions, and what this means for women everywhere.
after listening back to the podcast, i realized that we made a mistake with the jb vs bl case- blake lively is claiming that justin baldoni sexually *harassed* her, not sexually assaulted her. while both are very serious, there is a distinct difference between them, and i want to acknowledge and clarify that here.
if you or someone you know needs support:
- domestic violence – call 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 (U.S.) thehotline.org
- sexual assault – call 800-656-4673 (U.S.) or chat online rainn.org
- workplace harassment – learn your rights + file a complaint at eeoc.gov
- global support – find helplines worldwide at unwomen.org
you’re not alone. 💜
connect with julia on instagram @beautybyjulia + tik tok @juliasalvia
unlock more archive content on instagram @theselflovearchive + tik tok @theselflovearchives
sign up for the self-love archives newsletter: www.theselflovearchives.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Julia Salvia (00:00):
As a survivor of domestic violence, I do
not like what's going on withBlake Lively, Justin Baldoni,
Jenna Zebro (00:07):
and Ryan Reynolds.
Completely agree.
He's, he's in there.
No, he's done.
He's cut.
Julia Salvia (00:12):
Yeah, I don't want to watch any of his movies
anymore, and it's disappointingbecause I'm not gonna lie,
like, as an actor, I kind ofreally enjoyed his I was a fan.
Yeah.
I was definitely a fan.
Yeah, like, I enjoyed
Jenna Zebro (00:22):
his movies, I enjoyed I liked his
whole personality.
His commercials.
Like, he was very, yeah.
And now I've come it's fake.
But I feel like we pretendDid, he was with Scarlett
Johansson, and then theydid a movie together, and
then they ended up together.
Like, I feel like everyonebypasses that, too.
But everyone also, I feel
Julia Salvia (00:39):
like, bypasses the fact that Blake Lively was
basically in the same position.
She was with a guy!What's the guy's name
from, um, why was I gonnasay Pretty Little Liars?
Gossip Girl?
From Gossip Girl.
But I
Jenna Zebro (00:50):
didn't think they were together
Julia Salvia (00:51):
when Someone said they were!
Not, maybe not when, whenher and Ryan Reynolds got
together, but it seems tobe that both of them like
to be their co workers.
Well, I
Jenna Zebro (01:01):
just saw this thing a couple days ago
that she wanted him fired.
Like, she got majority of thepeople from Gossip Girl fired
because she didn't like them.
And she tried turningevery single person
against Penn Badgley.
And then they ended up dating.
I'm like, how did thatLike, what did you do to,
like, get to that level?
That's so weird.
Yeah.
Truly, what did you doto get to that level?
(01:22):
And, yeah, to just have thecontrol to be able to be
like, Yeah, I don't like you,like, you're out of this show.
Julia Salvia (01:28):
And I think that's Who are you?
Yeah.
I think that's what we don'tget to see as, like, just Not,
I think I'm a true believerthat everyone is just a person.
They are just people.
Like sometimes peoplefangirl over, over me
and I'm like, Yeah.
Chill out.
I'm just a girl.
Like, I'm just a person.
There is nothingspecial about me.
I'm just a person with a cooljob is usually what I say.
(01:50):
And I can't fathom being ina position like someone like
Blake Lively or another,you know, celebrity.
That has that type of control,control, pull, like I don't,
I don't know what that's like,but I know the type of like pull
I have on the level that I'mat and I, so I, I can see, I
(02:15):
couldn't imagine it, but I couldsee why I could see why this all
came to be and why it's possiblethat even after treating so many
people obviously very wrong andliterally in the public eye,
Jenna Zebro (02:30):
Yeah.
Well, it's interesting to seeall this stuff come out now.
Like, cause I feel likeeverything It's like everybody's
doing a compilation of it.
Yeah, exactly.
Cause it's like thingafter thing after thing
that you did wrong.
Yeah.
And it was acceptable and itwas okay to act like that.
But like, overlooked, butnow it's, now it's serious.
Julia Salvia (02:48):
Because this is a, now you fucked with
a really serious topic.
Yeah.
Now you fucked with somethingthat You just got caught up.
Like, now it was your time.
Yeah.
Basically.
Yeah, 100%.
And I can't just say, like,we're talking mainly about
Blake Lively, but RyanReynolds to play in this.
Yeah.
Colleen Hoovers to play in this.
(03:09):
Um, I wouldn't say I knowthat it sounds like we're
on, like, a side here.
I wouldn't say I'mnecessarily, like, on a side.
No.
I think
Jenna Zebro (03:17):
once, like, the trial happens, like,
Maybe I'll pick a side then.
Yeah, exactly.
Then I'll pick a side,but I feel like everyone's
picked a side now, though.
Yeah.
Like, seeing everything,because he, like, showed,
like, receipts after receipts.
Like, she just madethese allegations, but
I haven't seen anythingthat, like, backs it up.
But then again, like, howcan you not believe her?
But then again, how can you notbelieve him, if there's proof?
(03:40):
Agreed.
Julia Salvia (03:41):
It's, it's really tough as someone who
As personally as someone who'sbeen through like a relationship
with domestic violence and alot of abusive relationships
and um, Who's been sexuallyassaulted before like to?
Immediately not believe thewoman because the statistics are
so high On domestic violence,on, um, sexual assault, that
(04:05):
like, it's, it's nearly, I'mgonna, I'm gonna quote this
now, but I'm gonna check mysources and stuff and put them
in the show notes, everyone.
I'm pretty sure that 8in 10 women get sexually
assaulted in their lifetime.
Women.
Wow.
Like, that's so high, thatLook, yeah, it's scary
(04:26):
to even think about that.
It's terrifying.
So to think, that wholetrend with like, would
you choose to be in a roomalone with a bear or a man?
Obviously a fucking bear.
Jenna Zebro (04:36):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (04:37):
Obviously a fucking bear, because I
don't know what that man is
Jenna Zebro (04:42):
capable of.
Yeah.
You know how you see thosetrends on TikTok, like, who
would be the three men that youwould be okay having in a room?
You know?
Like that's, or like that trendnow on TikTok, like, have you
heard, like, where you run andlike you're telling your story
of how you're running from a manbecause of what they did to you?
Have you seen that?
That got me a little teary eyed.
Yeah, like I rememberI just saw one.
(05:04):
She was young.
I think she was like 13 andshe was on her way home.
I think from schoolor something.
And there was this, shelike takes the path home.
And she saw this creepyguy taking that path
and like looking at her.
So she went on thehighway instead.
And then she wasabout to pass a car.
That was just likestopped there.
(05:25):
He was hiding under thecar, like ready to like
slice her leg open.
So she wouldn't want,like, she like had a weird
feeling like, Oh my God, Ineed to run the other way.
He came out from under thecar and started chasing her.
And like, that's like thesong, like, do you know
what song I'm talking about?
It's like, but yeah, I'llhave to show you that
TikTok, but it's intense tothink that you have to do
that in those situations,like you have that feeling.
(05:49):
Because that is too high.
Julia Salvia (05:52):
Listen, I got a D in statistics, okay?
I got an A in statistics.
Really?
I did.
I'm glad to have you here.
Um, I got a D in statistics.
So, maybe I'm wrong withthe statistics, but like, I
don't know, 8 out of 10 tome, an 8 out of 10 chance
is way too high for me tofuck around with my life.
(06:15):
Yeah.
And that's what most women endup, and not to say that it's
just women, but in this case,like, speaking about women.
I, where it would fall,on a most likely scale, to
be a woman that's going tofuck around with her life.
Exactly.
Cause you don't think she'sgonna, I don't think most
(06:35):
women would choose to fuckaround with their life.
Jenna Zebro (06:37):
Yeah.
They're
Julia Salvia (06:38):
gonna look over their shoulder, they're gonna
choose the bear, they'regonna run the other way.
Jenna Zebro (06:43):
Exactly.
100%. Welcome
Julia Salvia (06:53):
back to the Self Love Archives podcast.
I am your host, Julia Salvia,and I have a special guest
today because she, I know, Iknow that she reads a lot and
I know that she's got one hellof an opinion and our, our
TikToks have been absolutelyengulfed by this case study.
between Blake Livelyand Justin Baldoni.
(07:15):
So before we get into all ofthe things and why this podcast
episode really needs to betalked about today, and like
why all these things need meto talk about, let me introduce
you to my assistant, Jenna.
Jenna Zebro (07:27):
Hi everyone.
Julia Salvia (07:29):
So I really love that, that you love books like
these, like Colleen Hoover'sbook, um, It Ends With Us is.
I feel like wherethis all stemmed from.
Jenna Zebro (07:43):
Well, 100%.
I think that was, looking backon it, I think that was one of
the first books that I read tolike, get back into reading.
Oh.
And I won't admit I lovedthe book, I thought it was
great, but like, looking backon it now, I'm like, Now you
see the problems with it.
And I feel like you overlookthat with a lot of authors.
You never, you read thebook to read the book.
You don't know a lot about them.
(08:05):
I don't typically, like,decide to search, Oh, like,
what's the, what's theproblems with this author?
Like, if the book soundsgood, I'll read the book.
Yeah.
But, like, then I'll regret it.
But, I never reallylook at it that way.
Julia Salvia (08:17):
I don't think I look at books Until now.
Yeah, I don't think I lookat books like that either.
Like, I don't lookinto who the author is.
It's really just kind of like
Jenna Zebro (08:24):
No, I just saw this one thing, I remember I
posted something about like,what I wanted to read next.
And someone was like,Oh, well to convince you
not to read this book.
Like, she writesabout Nazi romances.
What?
Like, what areyou talking about?
And she was like, yeah, andthen I texted my one friend
that reads too, and she'slike, Yeah, like, she like,
(08:45):
romanticizes like, the KKK,and like, stuff like that.
I'm like, what areyou talking about?
Like, now I don't wantto read this book.
Like, now I'm done.
That's so interesting.
Yeah, but you don't know that.
Julia Salvia (08:58):
I look at books as like, especially I'm escaping
Jenna Zebro (09:01):
to a different reality.
Yes,
Julia Salvia (09:02):
and that's actually why I don't
read books like this.
Because I don't want to escape.
Want to go in that reality.
I, I used to read booksactually when I was in um Yeah,
like those like, gang books
Jenna Zebro (09:13):
and
Julia Salvia (09:13):
like,
Jenna Zebro (09:13):
gang
Julia Salvia (09:13):
moments.
Oh my gosh.
I used to read books like,like, you know, fiction books
like this, the romance books,the books that are trending
right now that everybody'sreally into, I used to read
those when I wanted to get awayfrom my abusive relationships.
Jenna Zebro (09:29):
That's upsetting.
Isn't
Julia Salvia (09:30):
that crazy?
Yeah.
Like To just
Jenna Zebro (09:31):
escape it.
100%. Literally.
Because it brings you into like,a happy place, like I wish I
was here, I wish that was me.
Julia Salvia (09:38):
And not even that, it brought me to have to deal
with someone else's problems.
Okay.
Because a lot I mean, a lot ofthe books I read were fucked up.
They were fucked up.
Let's be honest.
Jenna Zebro (09:48):
They were fucked up.
Like I read more books.
Like I want this to happen to me
Julia Salvia (09:52):
Yeah, no mine were about like gang related
like a lot of and I don'teven think that that was just
like that was just Purposely,like, it was accidental.
Okay?
Like, I was reading, um, Idon't even know what any of
them are called at this pointbecause I've put them so
far in the back of my head.
But, like, I usedto read those books.
And they would still be, theywould still sting in a similar
(10:16):
way that, like, emotionally,like, the relationships
I was in would sting.
But it would allowme to not be me.
And be someone else.
Be in someone else'slife, dealing with someone
else's problems and trauma.
Exactly.
Until I close the book andI'm like, fuck, I'm not, I'm
(10:36):
not, I'm not leaving the book.
Like the emotions that wereleft with the book didn't leave
Jenna Zebro (10:42):
because
Julia Salvia (10:42):
whatever was happening in the book was
still happening with me.
It was crazy.
And that's why I don'tread books like that.
Because one, I don'tneed to escape anymore.
Jenna Zebro (10:52):
Cause I
Julia Salvia (10:52):
love where I am in my life and I
feel a lot, like very muchhealed from that place.
But also Um, I, I don't, I don'tlike the escape, the escape
part of, of books like that.
So to come back and read ColleenHoover's book for the sake
of this podcast was a reallyinteresting thing because in
(11:16):
the weirdest way, the storyof like Lily and Ryle Is very
similar to what happened to me.
So it was Different to see.
It was different, yeah.
To like, experience that again.
And it's, it hurts me to seehow Everything was portrayed.
It just, everything is, ishappening because I actually
(11:39):
think that the intent,the original like, intent
behind creating, um, ItEnds With Us was so good.
Yeah.
Because they went at it,like Colleen Hoover went at
it, and then Justin Baldoniwanted to create this movie
because the intention was toshare a more honest version
(11:59):
of an abusive relationship.
Yeah.
Jenna Zebro (12:01):
Well, because I feel like that's also why the
book was so popular becauseso many young girls and like,
everyone was just experiencingthat book and like, no,
I can't put up with this.
And like, I don't everwant to go through this.
Because I feel like that'swhy so many people got
back into reading afterthey read that book.
Yeah.
Because it was justpowerful to read.
Julia Salvia (12:21):
Yeah, because that's how most abusive
relationships happen.
Like, you hear in mostmovies and books, it's
so extremely exaggerated.
And I'm not saying thatthose situations and
those things don't happen.
But it's It's differentto read a book.
Jenna Zebro (12:34):
Yeah.
Because I feel likeyou're feeling it more.
When you're actuallysitting there, flipping
the pages, reading it.
Because you're seeingit in your head.
And you're picturingthis happened to you.
Or just watchingsomeone experience
Julia Salvia (12:46):
that.
You're also, though, at thesame time, like You're not
seeing the, like, the worstversion of something happening.
Because when you think of,like, very serious topics,
like domestic violence,rape, sexual assault, you're
watching these, like, crimeTV shows and they're, the
people have died from this.
(13:08):
And that's not to saythat that can't happen.
It can.
But a lot of women andpeople go through all the
steps that come before it.
Yeah, like they get pushed Thenthey like it leads up to like it
does and that's what happened.
Um That's what happened withme, like, I was just, um, There
(13:29):
was a lot of gaslighting, therewas a lot of mean things said,
but then came the pushing,then came the shoving, then
came the strong grip on myarm, then came, you know,
choking me against a wall,like, That, it was, it's like
a slow rolling snowball into itactually getting very serious.
(13:49):
Yeah.
And I actually think, thinkingback to like the book and the
movie, I think that it, itjumped into it almost too quick.
It did.
It got, I think themovie or just the book?
I think more so the, the movie.
Jenna Zebro (14:02):
Yeah.
I think the
Julia Salvia (14:03):
movie jumped into it cause I honestly
Jenna Zebro (14:05):
feel like when I was watching the movie, like
I really didn't connect it.
No.
Cause I feel like theyreally It felt random.
Yeah, I'm like, if it'skind of random, because I'm
like, no, he didn't hit her.
You know, like, that's reallyhow I felt, like, especially
that scene in the kitchen.
I'm like, no, thatdidn't happen.
Like, that was thewhole point, but I just
didn't see it at first.
Julia Salvia (14:25):
Yeah, it was 1000 percent better
explained in the book.
Of how that came to be,but I definitely think it's
Jenna Zebro (14:32):
powerful because I remember seeing like a lot
of people talk about it afterand saying Well, that's the
whole point like you don't seeit coming and like you don't
expect it But I I just feellike it could have been a little
bit more seen in the movie.
Julia Salvia (14:45):
I wish they really Went into her head
and really and like describedher Well, because I feelings.
Yeah,
Jenna Zebro (14:52):
because I didn't feel like she didn't I didn't
picture her looking like thiseither First of all, like I,
if we're talking about that,like, I just like everything was
just different in my opinion.
Julia Salvia (15:01):
They completely, utterly casted, like Blade
Lively, as I feel likemost people would agree,
was not the right personto cast for this movie.
No,
Jenna Zebro (15:10):
not at all.
She was not the right person.
I think maybe when shewas in Gossip Girl, yeah.
That around age, but I justdon't think I just feel like
they just kind of switchedeverything in comparison
to the book and the movie.
I pictured her wayyounger in the book.
And then seeing her, like,the outfit choices and
everything, like, that'snot what I pictured.
Like, I like to see whatI'm picturing in my head
(15:32):
then, and that should havebeen how the movie was.
At least.
Yeah.
At least.
And I just didn't see that.
No.
So I feel like I didn'tconnect with it like I
did with the book already.
Julia Salvia (15:42):
I agree with that.
I think, as I was, like,very quickly, Voice, like
listening to the book.
I did not picture once her,her to be looking like that.
Jenna Zebro (15:55):
No.
I don't know.
I just, the outfitchoices everything.
I just,
Julia Salvia (15:58):
I think there's, there's a, like a happy medium
I think when casting people,like it's, when celebrities
get so large, it's celebrity.
You have to be carefulwith how you cast them.
Yeah.
Like, if you casted, Idon't know, you casted
Vin Diesel, okay?
Or The Rock, as Ryle.
(16:19):
Ugh.
Obviously, that'snot gunned down.
It's not a fit.
Jenna Zebro (16:22):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (16:22):
You know what I mean?
But even if you cast Well, I
Jenna Zebro (16:25):
didn't really think Justin
Baldoni was a fit, though.
I didn't think
Julia Salvia (16:27):
he was a perfect fit, either.
But I think I
Jenna Zebro (16:29):
liked him in it, though.
Yes.
But I, initially, thatwouldn't have been my pick.
I just think he justseemed really old.
I just pictured younger people,
Julia Salvia (16:38):
like that's just, that's really
how I felt about it.
They seem to take in the moviethat, they just looked older.
Jenna Zebro (16:45):
They looked more in their
Julia Salvia (16:45):
30s,
Jenna Zebro (16:46):
but like But I know she did say that
she just like, didn't agethem right in the book.
I remember readingthat Colleen said that.
She didn't, because how ishe like 20 something years
old already like a doctor?
Like that's not realistic.
But I mean, okay, who cares?
Just follow howyou did the book.
I think it was 26 in the book?
(17:06):
Like yeah, that'syoung to be a doctor.
You're not a doctor yet.
True.
That's why she said she agedthem older in the movie.
But I feel like, who cares?
It's a movie.
You know, you reallydidn't need to age them.
Julia Salvia (17:19):
To that extent.
Even if that was the case, Istill don't think that Blake
Lively was the right choice.
Oh, no.
Not at all.
Jenna Zebro (17:27):
Well, because she wanted to be more of a director
than just a person in the movie.
Well, think about all theother roles she's played.
Yeah, and I turneda lot of things.
I must say, I was a fan.
Like, I loved her.
Mm hmm.
Not anymore.
Now it's cut.
Julia Salvia (17:42):
I never really
Jenna Zebro (17:43):
liked her.
I don't have, like, You did whenI made you watch Gossip Girl.
Like, I was like,yeah, I love her.
Isn't it
Julia Salvia (17:48):
so interesting that we were watching,
like, Gossip Girl?
Like, every time youcome over, we do work.
You were watching, like, youwanted to turn on Gossip Girl.
And we were, like, watching her.
I know, I loved her.
Before
Jenna Zebro (17:56):
this even came to be.
Yeah, I was, and I lovedher in The Shallows.
And I watched her alot in Simple Favor.
I loved her in movies.
Julia Salvia (18:04):
I, I did, I felt like the role of
her in Simple Favor Fit.
That's why I sent youthat second movie.
It fits, but I actually thinkthat it almost like foreshadows.
Yeah, I think it fuckingforeshadows what's
happening now, especiallythe second movie.
Jenna Zebro (18:22):
I haven't seen it yet, but oh, no, it
didn't come out yet Oh, okay.
No, it's because I told youno one wanted to pick up the
movie because they don't getalong they hate each other
Yeah, so no one wanted topick up the movie because she
refused to do a press tourwith her That's why it's on
Amazon and you're just seeinglike simple things like that.
Yeah.
Because no one wants the movie.
Yeah.
But it looks good.
(18:43):
Like, now I'm kindof disappointed.
It looks great.
Julia Salvia (18:45):
No, it looks, it looks like a good movie
because the role was correct.
Jenna Zebro (18:49):
Yeah.
Like if she, if, I don't,you never read Verity, but
she would have been theperfect person in that movie.
Everyone says that.
TikTok and stuff.
That would have been herrole because that's almost
like a simple favor like
Julia Salvia (19:03):
yeah creepy
Jenna Zebro (19:04):
way and stuff like she would've
been perfect for that
Julia Salvia (19:06):
I think Colleen Hoover got starry eyed when the
the idea of like having such
Jenna Zebro (19:13):
big people in this movie Yeah,
Julia Salvia (19:15):
I think she got really starry eyed and the idea
of doing something meaningfulIt was just out the window.
Yeah, it went in oneear, out the other.
She saw stars, rosecolored glasses when she
heard, like, Blake Lively.
Jenna Zebro (19:27):
And I don't know for what, though, because I feel
like that book was so popular.
Like, there was no reasonto be like, I need famous
people in this movie.
Millions of peopleread this book.
Millions of people loved it.
So there was no reason to just,you could've casted anyone,
and we would've all watched it.
Like, it wasn't becauseBlake Lively was in it.
Julia Salvia (19:46):
I don't, I don't know, I don't know what it was,
like, specifically, but afterthat, that ten minutes where
she had something at the endof the book, at least in the,
um, the Audible, like, version,
Jenna Zebro (19:57):
where
Julia Salvia (19:57):
she talked about her experience, like,
with domestic, like, hermom being in a domestic
violence relationship, herbasically playing the role
of Lily, seeing her mom inthis, in this relationship.
It was shocking.
I never, I never readthat part in the book.
Shocking, but also, like,I'm not shocked in the way
of, like, a lot of art comesfrom personal experiences.
(20:21):
And I believe that a lotof fiction books come
from personal experiences.
Even non fiction, too.
Yeah, no, exactly.
And then, obviously,biographies are just,
Jenna Zebro (20:30):
you know,
Julia Salvia (20:31):
it's literally from your life.
But, like, for her to writea book like this based off of
The inspiration of a traumaticexperience she had as a child
through the eyes of like hermom basically and like her
parents It's I'm not surprisedthat that had happened.
Jenna Zebro (20:48):
No that
Julia Salvia (20:48):
there was this personal connection What I'm
surprised about is how shesays that she wanted to end
the cycle But it doesn't seemlike that's what happened
It did.
And I don't like when peoplecontradict themselves.
Jenna Zebro (21:05):
Mm hmm.
Well, cause I feel like that'sa lot of how her books are, too.
Mm hmm.
Like, there has to be,like, some, like, messed
up trauma in every book.
I think every author's gotsome sort of messed up trauma.
Julia Salvia (21:16):
Like, what you were talking about before.
Jenna Zebro (21:18):
Why do you wanna Yeah.
Julia Salvia (21:19):
Why do you
Jenna Zebro (21:19):
want to write I know.
And it was so sad becauseI loved the first book.
I think the first book, itwas like, she only likes
to envision people likeblonde hair, blue eyes.
And I'm like, oh my god.
Like, I had no idea.
And then I like said to myfriend, she's like, yeah, like,
it's like super controversial.
I'm like, I wouldn't haveknown that if someone
didn't tell me that.
(21:40):
Because I read hundredsof books a year.
Yeah, and I'm not likeanalyzing like the authors
like if I like your book.
I like your book if Idon't I don't yeah I don't
look into like the thingsand I would have no idea.
I didn't get that when I readthe first book I was crying
reading the whole first book.
It was a sad book And likeI didn't picture that at
all, but it's crazy to thinkthe differences in books
(22:03):
and then you look at theauthors so this case with
Julia Salvia (22:07):
Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively and Sprinkle
of Ryan Reynolds or, uh, Heavy.
Yeah.
Heavy input.
Have you ever seen them do icecream cones where they put the
sprinkles on the bottom, thenthe ice cream, and then on top?
That's Ryan Reynolds.
You pick two flavorsof ice cream, and Ryan
Reynolds is the sprinklescompletely contaminating
(22:27):
the entire ice cream.
He has too
Jenna Zebro (22:29):
much of an input.
Well, cause peop well, what'scrazy is I see I have a theory.
Oh, I have a theory.
I wonder if you havethe same theory.
Okay, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Tell me your theory.
She's upset that he didn'twant to be with her.
Justin Maldoni.
And Ryan Reynolds thinksthey were having an affair.
And that he wanted her,and she was like, no, no.
(22:51):
And he like turned it around,like, no, like, you tried
sexually assaulting my wife.
I think that's what it is.
Because people say, everysingle movie, stuff that
she's been in, she getswith one of the characters.
She did that with GossipGirl, she was with him,
then Ryan Reynolds.
And she couldn't crackJustin Maloney, because
(23:11):
he loved his wife.
I think that Agree?
What?
Agree?
No.
I actually
Julia Salvia (23:18):
think No! Partially agree.
I think that Ryan Reynolds isabusive towards Blake Lively.
See, I thought that too.
Yep.
I could see that.
And Justin Baldoni realized asthey got closer as coworkers.
Because here's the thing thatI've noticed about Justin
Baldoni, and this is allreally like, very much like
hearsay based off of just Yeah.
(23:40):
What's on the internet.
And what we're being fed.
And I want to make that reallyclear because of the just the
seriousness of like the topic.
Jenna Zebro (23:47):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (23:47):
Um, we'll never know the full story
and the full picture and knowexactly what happened, but I
feel like with the amount ofreceipts that Justin Baldoni
has shared and the amount ofthings that are out there on
the internet of like proofof all of a lot of things,
we'll know a good amount.
Jenna Zebro (24:04):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (24:04):
But there will still be some things missing.
In getting super close toeach other, maybe that was
Blake Lively's intention.
But To like escape, technically.
Maybe, like in some sort of way.
She's trying to escapefrom Ryan Reynolds.
I but I also really think thatJustin Baldoni has made it super
(24:26):
uber clear over the past coupleof years that he is an advocate
for domestic violence survivors.
He has done podcastepisodes about it.
He has helped inlike charitable ways.
Jenna Zebro (24:40):
Yeah.
He
Julia Salvia (24:41):
literally came out and said that he wants to do
this movie Because to advocate.
To advocate for domesticviolence survivors.
So, to really show adifferent perspective.
Like, they're just, it's justso clear in all of the marketing
and press around the movie.
Yeah, how it wasjust like, done.
(25:01):
Yeah, and I think what'sunfortunately not in his favor
is that you don't see men.
Two things.
You don't see men advocatingpublicly for women like that.
Jenna Zebro (25:13):
Mm hmm.
Julia Salvia (25:14):
And in such a big way.
And two, you don't see menbeing emotional or sharing
their emotions in the way thathe outwardly does all the time.
Yeah, exactly.
So when you see him in likeBlake Lively's like, lawsuit
about how he's sharing thesethings about himself that
(25:37):
are like, deep dark secrets.
Yeah.
He's, I feel like I can kindof relate in some sort of
way because I'm, I could comeout and tell you all the bad
things that happen to me.
Jenna Zebro (25:48):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (25:49):
But that doesn't make me a fucked up person.
That just makes me aperson who's comfortable
with who I am as a person.
Jenna Zebro (25:59):
Yeah,
Julia Salvia (25:59):
and to be able to share like what happened to you.
Exactly, and when we get closewith people, like, sometimes we
feel the need to bring it up.
Share.
Yeah, to share, to, to relate.
Yeah.
To share, to relate, tobring it up understand me.
To help youunderstand the person.
And I really think thatthat's what he had been
doing in all of it.
(26:20):
Um, and he's just like inan unfortunate situation
because, He's a guy.
Of course, everybody'sgonna, when a woman comes
out and says, you know,I was sexually assaulted.
Jenna Zebro (26:30):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (26:31):
I'm gonna
Jenna Zebro (26:32):
believe the woman first.
Exactly, because I feel likethat happens a lot, too,
with athletes and stuff.
Like, you see when, like, arandom girl will say, like,
no, like, he assaulted meand stuff, and it's, it
just ruins his reputation.
It comes out, oh,I was just kidding.
You know, and like, thatjust ruins someone's life.
And it can easily just ruina man's life when you make
that kind of accusation.
(26:52):
What
Julia Salvia (26:52):
person's life?
Like, it just, in this case,like, there is some sort
of, like, double standard.
But I do think doublestandards exist in all aspects.
But in this case, with just,Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively,
like, If you are genuinelyfucking around and lying, about
(27:12):
being sexually assaulted, youare hurting women like me,
Jenna Zebro (27:17):
who
Julia Salvia (27:17):
have actually been sexually assaulted, who
have actually gone throughdomestic violence, like, you
are hurting women who need to be
Jenna Zebro (27:24):
supported.
Because then, like, sayanother case comes, no,
I don't believe you.
Exactly.
And it was true.
Like, those aren't thekinds of things that you
pretend that happened to me.
Yeah.
And it didn't.
Julia Salvia (27:35):
And that's such an important thing to, like, It's
just so incredibly importantto, like, we know people lie
all the time, we know peoplemake shit up all the time, like,
and it's, you know, in courtmost times it's, I say most
times because not everything Ifeel like is fair and is done
correctly, but Yeah, definitely.
It's innocent untilproven guilty.
Jenna Zebro (27:55):
Yeah, that's how it always should be.
Julia Salvia (27:56):
And I just feel like this, this
is A lot of situations
Jenna Zebro (28:01):
it's not like that though.
Julia Salvia (28:02):
No.
No.
Jenna Zebro (28:03):
You're
Julia Salvia (28:04):
guilty until proven innocent.
Exactly.
And I think in this casethat was unfortunately
what had It's happening to
Jenna Zebro (28:10):
him.
Yeah,
Julia Salvia (28:11):
what had happened.
And I sit on the fence of,you know, wanting to be
on like the woman's side,but also But honestly,
Jenna Zebro (28:18):
I feel like even looking at it, I don't
really see anyone being like,Yeah, like, I believe her.
You know, like, technically,like, when we say, like, Oh, no,
like, he's, like, guilty untilproven innocent, Like, no, I
don't really feel like peoplethink like that right now.
There's such a lack offucking emotion from her.
Yeah, from her side.
Well, even on that SNL 50, like,how they made a skit, Her and
(28:39):
Ryan Reynolds, like, someonewas like, Oh, how are you doing?
And he's like, I'm fine,like, what have you heard?
And Blake Live is like,What are you talking about?
You know, like, And thenimmediately her face
changes in the people aroundthem, like, judging them.
Like, looking at themlike, No, you're a liar.
Like, you can notice that.
I remember, like, acouple directors in
the back, like, I saw.
There was a lot of directors.
(28:59):
I don't know specifically hisname, but he was looking at
them like, I know what you did.
You know what I mean?
Like, just that,that she's lying.
Well, I don't knowif she's lying.
I can't say she's lying ifthere's no, like, facts,
but there is a lot of facts.
There's nothing
Julia Salvia (29:16):
that really shows to me that he did it.
Not even that.
Not even that.
If you take out every bit ofproof that Justin Baldoni's
lawyers came out with, thatJustin Baldoni came out with,
if you gave me nothing, andyou just went off of Blake
Lively as a person and howshe's reacting to all of this,
(29:41):
I would say one of two things.
I would say that is not, andeverything is like take, you
take with a grain of salt.
You don't know how peopleare actually going to react.
Jenna Zebro (29:51):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (29:52):
You know what I mean?
And how they're going tohandle their, their traumas
and things that are traumatic.
And I would assume that ifsomeone sexually assaulted you
or made you feel uncomfortable,you are traumatized by
that in one way or another.
Jenna Zebro (30:02):
And I feel like you really wouldn't want to
share that with the world.
Julia Salvia (30:06):
I, I think it depends.
I was very quick to share what Ihad gone through with the world.
And that's only because I
Jenna Zebro (30:14):
actually But I think you timed
to process it, yeah.
Of course.
I don't think you would havedone it like the next day,
like you walked out of it.
Nothing
Julia Salvia (30:21):
that she talked about, said, made
me feel like she gave afuck about the actual Case.
Movie.
Oh.
The actual depth
Jenna Zebro (30:31):
of the movie, like Yeah.
The depth of like helpingdomestic violence survivors.
No, because I feel likeespecially throwing
him in the basement.
Like, touring, like, the redcart, like, that whole thing.
Well, someone said that wasabout, like, her feeling
uncomfortable around him.
Yeah.
So, she threw him, his wholefamily, all his friends.
(30:51):
Even, I think, therewas, like, a handy, I
don't, I don't remember.
There was some girl that,like, came for it with him.
And she was stuck in thebasement with all of them.
They were sitting ontop of water bottles.
You saw the picture come outof them all in the basement.
It's, how, how do you do that?
I don't know.
Julia Salvia (31:09):
Since I don't want to paint a picture of
what someone who's witnessedor experienced being sexually
assaulted feels like.
I don't want to paint a pictureof that, but it doesn't seem
like that's what happened.
(31:29):
And that gets meto my second point.
Jenna Zebro (31:31):
Well, because I feel like you think about
it, the movie was aboutthis, and now this happened
to the two main characters.
But then also That's veryinteresting to think about.
Ryan Reynolds playin all of this?
Yeah, he was too involved.
That's what makes me almostthink, okay How did this
happen if your husbandwas here all the time?
(31:52):
True.
That's not what I was going to
Julia Salvia (31:54):
say, but true.
Jenna Zebro (31:55):
I just feel like he would have been, like,
knock him out or something.
You know what I mean?
Like, don't look atmy wife like that.
Like,
Julia Salvia (32:01):
knock him out.
I was going to say, again, notpainting a picture of what a
sexual assault survivor, ora domestic violence survivor
should look like, but if BlakeLively was actually sexually
assaulted, I don't think thatthe way that she's been acting,
responding, and being in thepublic eye has, would paint.
Any picture that something likethat happened, but also the
(32:24):
second point I was going tomake is like well What does Ryan
Reynolds have to do with it?
Yeah, because if he's abusingher which is my theory it makes
so but it makes like I can'tsay that because I like Ryan
Reynolds, but I like that senseYeah, do you know what I mean?
It makes sense becausethen he has some sort
of control Over her.
Because that's whatan abuser does.
(32:46):
They get into your head.
They get into your brain.
They controleverything that you do.
And I, we can see thatin Ryan Reynolds and how
he's trying to controleverything about this case.
About what happened.
And by having this lawsuit comeabout and say Justin Baldoni
(33:10):
sexually assaulted my wife.
But
Jenna Zebro (33:13):
then I
Julia Salvia (33:13):
can also see it.
Let me finish my thought.
Hold on.
By coming in and sayingthat Justin Baldoni sexually
assaulted my wife, it'staking blame off of anything
that he does to his wife.
He's removing all of yourattention off of him.
I can't see someone being soangry off the fact that like,
(33:37):
I don't know, let's say thatlike Blake Lively did have
a thing for Justin Baldoni.
Maybe she did start to like him.
I can't, I can't see him beingmad to the point where he
would want to ruin someone'slife, but I can see her doing
that, but I, but hold on, Ican see, I can see him wanting
(33:58):
to ruin someone's life becauseThey came out and said, I'm
gonna tell the whole worldthat you abuse your wife.
And that's why I think that RyanReynolds abuses Blake Lively.
Jenna Zebro (34:12):
I don't know.
I don't feel that way.
I feel, I 100 percent seeyour points and stuff.
They would have one hell of afucking ego if it's not that.
I 50.
Like, I could see her being,like, the root behind this
whole thing, and like, he'sbacking her up, but I could
also see what you're saying.
Like, I would love to see moreabout that, but I feel like You
haven't heard anything aboutthem and like stuff because
(34:34):
they've been together for awhile I feel like there would
have been some kind of signBut I could ha but there's
not always signs, but When
Julia Salvia (34:42):
you I feel like when you have an ego so high
But I feel like she does, likeI don't really And that's why
she would want no one to know.
Yeah.
My parents, when I was in,um, so the relationship that
I kind of keep referring toin this, uh, podcast is this
one relationship I movedaway to a different state.
I didn't know anyone there.
(35:04):
The only person I knew was,like, my boyfriend at the time.
Yeah.
And my parents came to visit.
And I had just beenbasically sexually assaulted
by him, days before.
And I was, I'm not superclose with my parents, so I
was going to confide in themand tell them what happened.
Jenna Zebro (35:24):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (35:26):
But I couldn't.
Jenna Zebro (35:27):
I
Julia Salvia (35:28):
could see that, because you're
Jenna Zebro (35:29):
not comfortable.
Julia Salvia (35:29):
But not even that, you know why?
It wasn't even necessarilyabout, like, comfortability,
because I knew, even though Idon't, I didn't have a close
relationship with my parents,like, I knew that, like, I
actually, I can't even say thatI knew that they would fix it.
I actually didn't tellthem because of my ego.
Because I had just moved intothat apartment, even though they
(35:50):
told me not to, a week before.
Okay, I get what you're saying.
And I didn't want to belike, you were right.
Yeah.
Jenna Zebro (35:59):
No, 100%.
And not
Julia Salvia (36:00):
only are you, were you right in the fact that
I shouldn't have moved herebecause I know no one here,
you were right because I endedup moving in to an apartment
into a home with my abuser.
Jenna Zebro (36:10):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (36:11):
That I'm not, you know,
Jenna Zebro (36:12):
safe in.
And you knew.
Yeah.
Like you did that toyourself basically.
Julia Salvia (36:16):
But instead I shut the fuck up.
Jenna Zebro (36:18):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (36:18):
And I figured it out by myself.
And that, right there, becauseI let my ego speak for me.
That made me more alone.
Jenna Zebro (36:28):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (36:29):
It's, that is the scariest part when you know that
someone you love is being abusedor in that situation because
you can't even bring it up.
Jenna Zebro (36:40):
No, you like, don't wanna step in.
You don't wanna,
Julia Salvia (36:44):
because the more you do, the more the
person being either they'llpush you away or pushes you
Jenna Zebro (36:48):
away.
Yeah.
It just gets worse
Julia Salvia (36:50):
because I, I remember I would stop calling
my friends or like when I did,I would stop talking about him.
Jenna Zebro (36:57):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (36:57):
Because I knew in my gut that lie, what
was happening was wrong.
Was wrong.
Yeah.
I knew in my gut, so Istopped bringing it up.
I stopped talking about it and.
Every time my friends broughtit up, it would make me
want to call them less.
Jenna Zebro (37:13):
Yeah, because it's just like shut up
like stop talking about it.
Yeah, because I didn't wantthem to know Yeah, because
I don't want to slip up andsay something that might be
concerning and you want toask more questions and you
Julia Salvia (37:26):
You as well as the person who abuses you puts you
or controls you or manipulatesyou there's so many ways to
go about this, but they endup There's so many things that
happen from guilt, from ego,that end up putting you in a
position where you are alone.
(37:46):
From self doing it, by selfsabotaging yourself, which is
honestly what you're doing,um, not listening to your gut
is self sabotaging yourself.
And, and or, your abuser.
Not wanting anyone to bearound you that could even
for a second think thatthey're doing something bad.
Jenna Zebro (38:04):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (38:07):
And that, that's why my theory, I really think
that there's something that is
Jenna Zebro (38:13):
I could see it.
I could honestly see that.
There's something
Julia Salvia (38:16):
ego focused on like Blake and, and Ryan's side.
Jenna Zebro (38:20):
Yeah, well cause I feel like Ryan Reynolds is
seen as like this charming,funny, like amazing guy.
Mhm.
And you wouldn't thinkthat of him either.
Julia Salvia (38:29):
No, but guess who was also charming,
funny, handsome, andeverybody loved him.
No.
I mean, well, yeah, Ryle.
Yeah.
But also my ex boyfriend.
Jenna Zebro (38:39):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (38:40):
Everyone loved him immediately.
He's so Becauseyou don't see it.
No.
They're like, he'sso charismatic.
Everyone that he met loved him.
They thought he was so funny.
They were like, oh mygod, he's so handsome.
But they had no idea that behindclosed doors What he does.
He was the meanest person.
In the entire world.
And that's what'sscary about men.
(39:01):
Well, and women.
I mean, yeah, that iswhat's scary about men.
Yeah, you
Jenna Zebro (39:04):
don't know until You see the,
Julia Salvia (39:05):
you see the craziness with like,
someone like Ted Bundy.
Jenna Zebro (39:08):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (39:10):
You know what I mean?
Like, you, it's just Youdon't know until like,
you're really in it.
And you could say the samething about Ryan Reynolds.
Jenna Zebro (39:16):
Yeah, that's true.
Julia Salvia (39:18):
The part in all of this that I think is important
is that the entire integritythe entire meaning and the
entire good thing that wassupposed to come out of this.
Didn't.
Didn't, yeah.
(39:39):
And I don't know if it will.
No.
Jenna Zebro (39:43):
I don't think, no, not at all.
Because I really think thatall of this Like the movie's
gone, like we're done withthe movie, we're done with the
book, now let's focus on this.
Like we're never gonnathink about the book
and the movie again.
I think this is gonna put
Julia Salvia (39:57):
some Really tough emotions on women
who are in That position.
That she might not be in.
That, but also I think it'sgonna put women who are being
sexually assaulted, who are indomestic violence relationships,
like, I really think it's gonnaput them in a tough position.
(40:18):
In, in wanting to Speak up.
Speak up, and wanting togo to court, and, and bring
their abusers to court, andBasically give them, give
them what they deserve.
Yeah.
Because in a lot of, in a lotof ways there isn't proof.
Jenna Zebro (40:36):
No.
When
Julia Salvia (40:37):
a lot of these things happen.
There aren't photos,there aren't videos.
Jenna Zebro (40:41):
No.
There's no like actualproof to like, say
like, yeah you did this.
Julia Salvia (40:46):
Mm hmm.
So it'sso disappointing to see If
it is true that Blake Livelyreally was kind of just
exaggerating something thathad happened and she wasn't
sexually assaulted by JustinBaldoni, like, this is going
(41:07):
to be a case Of the century.
Jenna Zebro (41:13):
Yeah, well I feel like this was
also like the Johnny Deppand Amber Heard case.
I
Julia Salvia (41:16):
was just gonna say that, like a very
similar I don't think theywere the same necessarily.
No.
But I do think Cause I
Jenna Zebro (41:22):
think it was known that he did stuff to her though.
Yeah.
But like she did stuff to yeah.
Yeah.
That was completely different.
I think that was justThat's similar in that area.
That
Julia Salvia (41:29):
was a relationship of like two
extremely unhealed people.
Yeah.
Two extremely unhealed people.
And this is a case ofa work relationship.
Jenna Zebro (41:39):
Mhm.
Possible lover, possibleabusive husband.
Yeah.
I mean, there's like manydifferent areas to like add on.
There's so many
Julia Salvia (41:49):
directions that
Jenna Zebro (41:50):
it could
Julia Salvia (41:50):
go in.
This could be
Jenna Zebro (41:51):
a movie.
Julia Salvia (41:52):
Yeah.
Like, growing this.
This could have been.
And I'm sure that there willbe a Netflix documentary
out on this case.
I'm sure there
Jenna Zebro (41:58):
probably could have been on Peacock already.
Like, everyone's opinion so far.
Yep, 100%.
Julia Salvia (42:03):
I just think that it's not a
win for either of them.
It's not a win for either ofthem, but it's also not a win
for women who've been abused.
It's not.
And that's what's, I think,the most disappointing thing
that will come out of this.
It will end careers.
(42:25):
It will most likely be acontributor to people staying
in relationships that theymight not, should not stay
Jenna Zebro (42:35):
in.
Julia Salvia (42:36):
But I, I hope that even though the integrity of the
whole point Of It Ends With Us.
The whole, like, ideaof It Ends With Us.
Is It Ends With Us.
And I, I hope that at the veryleast, even though there's so
much of this, like, Filler.
Like, the, the case literallyjust feels like filler.
Jenna Zebro (42:59):
Because
Julia Salvia (42:59):
it's just so ridiculous.
Jenna Zebro (43:02):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (43:03):
I, I hope that women who are struggling, Men
who are struggling, anyonewho's in a relationship, Or has
a work relationship that makesthem uncomfortable or who has
been sexually assaulted or isin, you know, a relationship
that Has they've dealt withdomestic violence or that
they're being abused orbeing controlled manipulated,
(43:24):
whatever I hope that theycan look past this filler And
still be able to speak up.
And be able to see the message.
That it does end with them.
That they are the onesthat end the cycle.
That they are the ones thatare in control of their destiny
and what happens next for them.
And it's not an easy thing.
(43:45):
It's an extremely scary thing.
Especially you know,in a place where you're
so used to something.
But I hope that wecan go beyond using.
Other things and other outsidesources and people And finally
see the value in ourselvesthat we also deserve better
Jenna Zebro (44:08):
Exactly
Julia Salvia (44:08):
Not just our kids, not just our babies,
like not just our friends,our sisters, our family Like
you deserve better too You areworthy of healthy relationships
And my god, if I could tellanything to myself Listen
to your fucking gut Like,listen to your fucking gut.
(44:29):
It tells you everythingthat you want to know.
But we are so
Jenna Zebro (44:35):
I personally don't like to.
Why?
Because I just, not likethat, but I just feel like
a lot of times, like, Idon't want to believe that.
Like, even thoughI'll feel it in me.
Mm hmm.
Like, I, I like, kindof like, move past it.
Like, I'm not the typethat, like Likes to do
those kinds of things.
Like I They're not
Julia Salvia (44:53):
easy.
No.
That's why people don't like todo it, because it's not easy.
It's not an easy decision.
No, because
Jenna Zebro (44:58):
you don't want it Like, if something's
so bad, you don't want tobelieve it is that bad.
Julia Salvia (45:01):
Of course.
Because you don't want tobelieve that you could've
ended up Deserved better.
Yeah.
You don't want to believethat you deserve better.
You don't want to believe thatyou could've ended up in a
position, in the same positionthat your, your parent was in.
You don't want to believethat you are the statistic.
Jenna Zebro (45:16):
Mm hmm.
Julia Salvia (45:18):
But unfortunately, if your gut is telling you
that that's where you're at,the only thing that's going to
save you, the only thing that'sgoing to heal you, in anything,
is you, and it's your gut.
And your gut is you.
Listening to your gutis the most important
thing that you can do.
And I think our world is soloud, like this, I really
(45:38):
just want to say thisis such a dumb ass case.
It seems so pointless, and Ihate taking away The learning
and the education and theimportance of it and what
will come from it becausewe're not there yet And I
think that everything doestruly happen for a reason
Jenna Zebro (45:55):
because we still have another year,
Julia Salvia (45:57):
of course Yeah, there's still like some
time till this actually likehappens But if this really was
created on the basis of nothingIt's just so disappointing.
It's extremely disappointingIt's so disappointing and it
knocks down Where we tried
Jenna Zebro (46:15):
to get to.
Like it just feelslike 10 steps backward.
Julia Salvia (46:18):
Yeah, it does.
I feel like we're in aworld of 10 steps backward.
But I know that wheneverwe go 10 steps backward,
from where we're at, wealways go 20 steps forward.
And I'm hoping that thisis one of those things
that, where it gets worsebefore it gets better.
And when we watch thedocumentary, we are watching
(46:39):
the documentary, where it ends.
It ends with us at the end,like it ends, it ends, yeah,
it ends with them and this doesnot happen again and someone
who is in a really tough spotand not, maybe not a, not a
comfortable spot in their lifecan feel confident enough to
(47:00):
be able to take their case,their story to court, to say
something, to help someone else.
And, I mean, and that's onthe Self Love Archives because
that is exactly why I startedthe Self Love Archives.
Cause I know that we'renot, we're, we're not
alone in all of this.
No.
Jenna Zebro (47:18):
Cause there's 8 out of 10.
Mm
Julia Salvia (47:20):
hmm.
I think at the end of theday, the world is so loud.
And if we can take a secondto listen to ourselves.
Listen to our gut feelings,listen to how we're feeling,
whether that's physically,emotionally, mentally, like
that can change your life.
If you can shut the entire worldout and just listen to yourself,
(47:46):
that is so incredibly powerful.
So, you shouldlisten to yourself.
You should listen to yourself.
I should listen to myself.
You should listen to yourself.
Everyone shouldlisten to themselves.
Because You only knowwhat's good for you.
Exactly.
I mean, at the end of the day,like, we're all completely
(48:07):
different human beings.
But I know that we allhave, we all have, like,
our souls inside of us.
And we I'll have someone tolisten to, but again, the world
can get so loud sometimes thatit muffles out our voices.
Jenna Zebro (48:26):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (48:27):
And I hope that we can push through and like,
actually share our voices andbe the ones that say, me too.
Or be the ones thatsay it ends with us.
So many thoughts on this case.
So many thoughts on this book.
So many thoughts on themovie, Colleen Hoover, and
how this kind of comes to be.
Comes to fruition.
(48:48):
How do you feel about it?
Jenna Zebro (48:49):
I can't wait for the case.
That's how I feel.
Mm hmm.
Like, I'm really lookingforward to seeing the truth.
Julia Salvia (48:56):
Yeah.
I'm looking forward toseeing the truth too, and I
hope that it does actually.
Come out.
Jenna Zebro (49:01):
Yeah
Julia Salvia (49:02):
in the case a year from now.
Maybe we'll pickthis back up then.
Jenna Zebro (49:05):
Yeah, March 9th, 2026 2026
Julia Salvia (49:09):
Thank you so much for tuning in to the self
love archives and for thank youfor hanging out with me Jenna
and chatting with me aboutthis if you are a Book lover.
You're a book loverWhat are your opinions?
Yeah, if you're a booklover, if you're a movie
lover, I would love to knowyour opinions on this case.
(49:31):
Where you stand, what youthink, unbiased opinions, truly,
because I think at the end ofthe day, like, I'm still, I'm
on, I'm not on a side, I'mjust on the fence, and I'm just
going off of what the facts are.
What we
Jenna Zebro (49:43):
read, what we watch, what lawsuit's
Julia Salvia (49:45):
exact, yep, and just how I feel as
like, a person who canrelate to what's going on.
And it's just so weird.
It's like almost like, um,the irony, that is the word.
This whole thing is just ironic.
It is.
It is the irony of the factthat you have an author that
experienced something thatexperienced domestic violence.
(50:08):
The irony that she wrote abook on it, the irony that
there was a movie made of it.
And then the irony that thereis now a case of sexual assault.
Jenna Zebro (50:18):
And contradicting yourself, like,
Julia Salvia (50:19):
the
Jenna Zebro (50:20):
son.
Julia Salvia (50:20):
Just like, and oh my god.
Jenna Zebro (50:21):
Yeah, let's not forget about the son.
No,
Julia Salvia (50:24):
that's a whole, Colleen Hoover's son, yeah.
That is a whole nothertopic that we'd love
to hear about too.
Yeah, that's a whole nothertopic, a whole nother situation.
And I think, ironic.
The irony is just.
That's what the movieshould have been called.
Really loud.
How ironic.
Jenna Zebro (50:40):
Yeah.
That's the
Julia Salvia (50:41):
documentary.
It should have
Jenna Zebro (50:41):
just been called, Starts With Us.
Like the second book, thesecond book that starts with us.
Yep, a hundred and ten percent.
Yeah, basically it starts withlike Lively and Justin Baldoni.
Yep.
And it's gonna end withus at the end of the case.
Julia Salvia (50:58):
Um, I will not be wearing flowers to
go and partake in any of
Jenna Zebro (51:05):
the
Julia Sa (51:06):
watching of the cases.
And I will not be grabbingmy girls to go enjoy a movie
about domestic violence.
Jenna Zebro (51:15):
Yeah, basically it's not what I did.
Julia Salvia (51:19):
These things, these things need
to be held with care.
And respect to people thathave went through this.
And respect and kindness.
Like at the end of the day,like, everything's up for
perspective and someone'sgonna say you got it wrong.
But I think that there's a wayto do things with a good heart.
And that was not in this.
No, not at all.
In a lot of ways.
(51:40):
If you or anyone you know hasexperienced Sexual assault,
domestic violence, abuse,anything that we've spoken
about on the podcast today.
Please check out the shownotes below for any of the
resources that can help.
If there's anything that I haveto repeat over and over and
(52:00):
over again, listen to your gut.
It never lies to you.
Thank you so much fortuning into this episode.
the self love archives.
Thank you again for beinghere and I'll see you guys.
As a survivor of domestic violence, I do
not like what's going on withBlake Lively, Justin Baldoni,
Jenna Zebro (00:07):
and Ryan Reynolds.
Completely agree.
He's, he's in there.
No, he's done.
He's cut.
Julia Salvia (00:12):
Yeah, I don't want to watch any of his movies
anymore, and it's disappointingbecause I'm not gonna lie,
like, as an actor, I kind ofreally enjoyed his I was a fan.
Yeah.
I was definitely a fan.
Yeah, like, I enjoyed
Jenna Zebro (00:22):
his movies, I enjoyed I liked his
whole personality.
His commercials.
Like, he was very, yeah.
And now I've come it's fake.
But I feel like we pretendDid, he was with Scarlett
Johansson, and then theydid a movie together, and
then they ended up together.
Like, I feel like everyonebypasses that, too.
But everyone also, I feel
Julia Salvia (00:39):
like, bypasses the fact that Blake Lively was
basically in the same position.
She was with a guy!What's the guy's name
from, um, why was I gonnasay Pretty Little Liars?
Gossip Girl?
From Gossip Girl.
But I
Jenna Zebro (00:50):
didn't think they were together
Julia Salvia (00:51):
when Someone said they were!
Not, maybe not when, whenher and Ryan Reynolds got
together, but it seems tobe that both of them like
to be their co workers.
Well, I
Jenna Zebro (01:01):
just saw this thing a couple days ago
that she wanted him fired.
Like, she got majority of thepeople from Gossip Girl fired
because she didn't like them.
And she tried turningevery single person
against Penn Badgley.
And then they ended up dating.
I'm like, how did thatLike, what did you do to,
like, get to that level?
That's so weird.
Yeah.
Truly, what did you doto get to that level?
(01:22):
And, yeah, to just have thecontrol to be able to be
like, Yeah, I don't like you,like, you're out of this show.
Julia Salvia (01:28):
And I think that's Who are you?
Yeah.
I think that's what we don'tget to see as, like, just Not,
I think I'm a true believerthat everyone is just a person.
They are just people.
Like sometimes peoplefangirl over, over me
and I'm like, Yeah.
Chill out.
I'm just a girl.
Like, I'm just a person.
There is nothingspecial about me.
I'm just a person with a cooljob is usually what I say.
(01:50):
And I can't fathom being ina position like someone like
Blake Lively or another,you know, celebrity.
That has that type of control,control, pull, like I don't,
I don't know what that's like,but I know the type of like pull
I have on the level that I'mat and I, so I, I can see, I
(02:15):
couldn't imagine it, but I couldsee why I could see why this all
came to be and why it's possiblethat even after treating so many
people obviously very wrong andliterally in the public eye,
Jenna Zebro (02:30):
Yeah.
Well, it's interesting to seeall this stuff come out now.
Like, cause I feel likeeverything It's like everybody's
doing a compilation of it.
Yeah, exactly.
Cause it's like thingafter thing after thing
that you did wrong.
Yeah.
And it was acceptable and itwas okay to act like that.
But like, overlooked, butnow it's, now it's serious.
Julia Salvia (02:48):
Because this is a, now you fucked with
a really serious topic.
Yeah.
Now you fucked with somethingthat You just got caught up.
Like, now it was your time.
Yeah.
Basically.
Yeah, 100%.
And I can't just say, like,we're talking mainly about
Blake Lively, but RyanReynolds to play in this.
Yeah.
Colleen Hoovers to play in this.
(03:09):
Um, I wouldn't say I knowthat it sounds like we're
on, like, a side here.
I wouldn't say I'mnecessarily, like, on a side.
No.
I think
Jenna Zebro (03:17):
once, like, the trial happens, like,
Maybe I'll pick a side then.
Yeah, exactly.
Then I'll pick a side,but I feel like everyone's
picked a side now, though.
Yeah.
Like, seeing everything,because he, like, showed,
like, receipts after receipts.
Like, she just madethese allegations, but
I haven't seen anythingthat, like, backs it up.
But then again, like, howcan you not believe her?
But then again, how can you notbelieve him, if there's proof?
(03:40):
Agreed.
Julia Salvia (03:41):
It's, it's really tough as someone who
As personally as someone who'sbeen through like a relationship
with domestic violence and alot of abusive relationships
and um, Who's been sexuallyassaulted before like to?
Immediately not believe thewoman because the statistics are
so high On domestic violence,on, um, sexual assault, that
(04:05):
like, it's, it's nearly, I'mgonna, I'm gonna quote this
now, but I'm gonna check mysources and stuff and put them
in the show notes, everyone.
I'm pretty sure that 8in 10 women get sexually
assaulted in their lifetime.
Women.
Wow.
Like, that's so high, thatLook, yeah, it's scary
(04:26):
to even think about that.
It's terrifying.
So to think, that wholetrend with like, would
you choose to be in a roomalone with a bear or a man?
Obviously a fucking bear.
Jenna Zebro (04:36):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (04:37):
Obviously a fucking bear, because I
don't know what that man is
Jenna Zebro (04:42):
capable of.
Yeah.
You know how you see thosetrends on TikTok, like, who
would be the three men that youwould be okay having in a room?
You know?
Like that's, or like that trendnow on TikTok, like, have you
heard, like, where you run andlike you're telling your story
of how you're running from a manbecause of what they did to you?
Have you seen that?
That got me a little teary eyed.
Yeah, like I rememberI just saw one.
(05:04):
She was young.
I think she was like 13 andshe was on her way home.
I think from schoolor something.
And there was this, shelike takes the path home.
And she saw this creepyguy taking that path
and like looking at her.
So she went on thehighway instead.
And then she wasabout to pass a car.
That was just likestopped there.
(05:25):
He was hiding under thecar, like ready to like
slice her leg open.
So she wouldn't want,like, she like had a weird
feeling like, Oh my God, Ineed to run the other way.
He came out from under thecar and started chasing her.
And like, that's like thesong, like, do you know
what song I'm talking about?
It's like, but yeah, I'llhave to show you that
TikTok, but it's intense tothink that you have to do
that in those situations,like you have that feeling.
(05:49):
Because that is too high.
Julia Salvia (05:52):
Listen, I got a D in statistics, okay?
I got an A in statistics.
Really?
I did.
I'm glad to have you here.
Um, I got a D in statistics.
So, maybe I'm wrong withthe statistics, but like, I
don't know, 8 out of 10 tome, an 8 out of 10 chance
is way too high for me tofuck around with my life.
(06:15):
Yeah.
And that's what most women endup, and not to say that it's
just women, but in this case,like, speaking about women.
I, where it would fall,on a most likely scale, to
be a woman that's going tofuck around with her life.
Exactly.
Cause you don't think she'sgonna, I don't think most
(06:35):
women would choose to fuckaround with their life.
Jenna Zebro (06:37):
Yeah.
They're
Julia Salvia (06:38):
gonna look over their shoulder, they're gonna
choose the bear, they'regonna run the other way.
Jenna Zebro (06:43):
Exactly.
100%. Welcome
Julia Salvia (06:53):
back to the Self Love Archives podcast.
I am your host, Julia Salvia,and I have a special guest
today because she, I know, Iknow that she reads a lot and
I know that she's got one hellof an opinion and our, our
TikToks have been absolutelyengulfed by this case study.
between Blake Livelyand Justin Baldoni.
(07:15):
So before we get into all ofthe things and why this podcast
episode really needs to betalked about today, and like
why all these things need meto talk about, let me introduce
you to my assistant, Jenna.
Jenna Zebro (07:27):
Hi everyone.
Julia Salvia (07:29):
So I really love that, that you love books like
these, like Colleen Hoover'sbook, um, It Ends With Us is.
I feel like wherethis all stemmed from.
Jenna Zebro (07:43):
Well, 100%.
I think that was, looking backon it, I think that was one of
the first books that I read tolike, get back into reading.
Oh.
And I won't admit I lovedthe book, I thought it was
great, but like, looking backon it now, I'm like, Now you
see the problems with it.
And I feel like you overlookthat with a lot of authors.
You never, you read thebook to read the book.
You don't know a lot about them.
(08:05):
I don't typically, like,decide to search, Oh, like,
what's the, what's theproblems with this author?
Like, if the book soundsgood, I'll read the book.
Yeah.
But, like, then I'll regret it.
But, I never reallylook at it that way.
Julia Salvia (08:17):
I don't think I look at books Until now.
Yeah, I don't think I lookat books like that either.
Like, I don't lookinto who the author is.
It's really just kind of like
Jenna Zebro (08:24):
No, I just saw this one thing, I remember I
posted something about like,what I wanted to read next.
And someone was like,Oh, well to convince you
not to read this book.
Like, she writesabout Nazi romances.
What?
Like, what areyou talking about?
And she was like, yeah, andthen I texted my one friend
that reads too, and she'slike, Yeah, like, she like,
(08:45):
romanticizes like, the KKK,and like, stuff like that.
I'm like, what areyou talking about?
Like, now I don't wantto read this book.
Like, now I'm done.
That's so interesting.
Yeah, but you don't know that.
Julia Salvia (08:58):
I look at books as like, especially I'm escaping
Jenna Zebro (09:01):
to a different reality.
Yes,
Julia Salvia (09:02):
and that's actually why I don't
read books like this.
Because I don't want to escape.
Want to go in that reality.
I, I used to read booksactually when I was in um Yeah,
like those like, gang books
Jenna Zebro (09:13):
and
Julia Salvia (09:13):
like,
Jenna Zebro (09:13):
gang
Julia Salvia (09:13):
moments.
Oh my gosh.
I used to read books like,like, you know, fiction books
like this, the romance books,the books that are trending
right now that everybody'sreally into, I used to read
those when I wanted to get awayfrom my abusive relationships.
Jenna Zebro (09:29):
That's upsetting.
Isn't
Julia Salvia (09:30):
that crazy?
Yeah.
Like To just
Jenna Zebro (09:31):
escape it.
100%. Literally.
Because it brings you into like,a happy place, like I wish I
was here, I wish that was me.
Julia Salvia (09:38):
And not even that, it brought me to have to deal
with someone else's problems.
Okay.
Because a lot I mean, a lot ofthe books I read were fucked up.
They were fucked up.
Let's be honest.
Jenna Zebro (09:48):
They were fucked up.
Like I read more books.
Like I want this to happen to me
Julia Salvia (09:52):
Yeah, no mine were about like gang related
like a lot of and I don'teven think that that was just
like that was just Purposely,like, it was accidental.
Okay?
Like, I was reading, um, Idon't even know what any of
them are called at this pointbecause I've put them so
far in the back of my head.
But, like, I usedto read those books.
And they would still be, theywould still sting in a similar
(10:16):
way that, like, emotionally,like, the relationships
I was in would sting.
But it would allowme to not be me.
And be someone else.
Be in someone else'slife, dealing with someone
else's problems and trauma.
Exactly.
Until I close the book andI'm like, fuck, I'm not, I'm
(10:36):
not, I'm not leaving the book.
Like the emotions that wereleft with the book didn't leave
Jenna Zebro (10:42):
because
Julia Salvia (10:42):
whatever was happening in the book was
still happening with me.
It was crazy.
And that's why I don'tread books like that.
Because one, I don'tneed to escape anymore.
Jenna Zebro (10:52):
Cause I
Julia Salvia (10:52):
love where I am in my life and I
feel a lot, like very muchhealed from that place.
But also Um, I, I don't, I don'tlike the escape, the escape
part of, of books like that.
So to come back and read ColleenHoover's book for the sake
of this podcast was a reallyinteresting thing because in
(11:16):
the weirdest way, the storyof like Lily and Ryle Is very
similar to what happened to me.
So it was Different to see.
It was different, yeah.
To like, experience that again.
And it's, it hurts me to seehow Everything was portrayed.
It just, everything is, ishappening because I actually
(11:39):
think that the intent,the original like, intent
behind creating, um, ItEnds With Us was so good.
Yeah.
Because they went at it,like Colleen Hoover went at
it, and then Justin Baldoniwanted to create this movie
because the intention was toshare a more honest version
(11:59):
of an abusive relationship.
Yeah.
Jenna Zebro (12:01):
Well, because I feel like that's also why the
book was so popular becauseso many young girls and like,
everyone was just experiencingthat book and like, no,
I can't put up with this.
And like, I don't everwant to go through this.
Because I feel like that'swhy so many people got
back into reading afterthey read that book.
Yeah.
Because it was justpowerful to read.
Julia Salvia (12:21):
Yeah, because that's how most abusive
relationships happen.
Like, you hear in mostmovies and books, it's
so extremely exaggerated.
And I'm not saying thatthose situations and
those things don't happen.
But it's It's differentto read a book.
Jenna Zebro (12:34):
Yeah.
Because I feel likeyou're feeling it more.
When you're actuallysitting there, flipping
the pages, reading it.
Because you're seeingit in your head.
And you're picturingthis happened to you.
Or just watchingsomeone experience
Julia Salvia (12:46):
that.
You're also, though, at thesame time, like You're not
seeing the, like, the worstversion of something happening.
Because when you think of,like, very serious topics,
like domestic violence,rape, sexual assault, you're
watching these, like, crimeTV shows and they're, the
people have died from this.
(13:08):
And that's not to saythat that can't happen.
It can.
But a lot of women andpeople go through all the
steps that come before it.
Yeah, like they get pushed Thenthey like it leads up to like it
does and that's what happened.
Um That's what happened withme, like, I was just, um, There
(13:29):
was a lot of gaslighting, therewas a lot of mean things said,
but then came the pushing,then came the shoving, then
came the strong grip on myarm, then came, you know,
choking me against a wall,like, That, it was, it's like
a slow rolling snowball into itactually getting very serious.
(13:49):
Yeah.
And I actually think, thinkingback to like the book and the
movie, I think that it, itjumped into it almost too quick.
It did.
It got, I think themovie or just the book?
I think more so the, the movie.
Jenna Zebro (14:02):
Yeah.
I think the
Julia Salvia (14:03):
movie jumped into it cause I honestly
Jenna Zebro (14:05):
feel like when I was watching the movie, like
I really didn't connect it.
No.
Cause I feel like theyreally It felt random.
Yeah, I'm like, if it'skind of random, because I'm
like, no, he didn't hit her.
You know, like, that's reallyhow I felt, like, especially
that scene in the kitchen.
I'm like, no, thatdidn't happen.
Like, that was thewhole point, but I just
didn't see it at first.
Julia Salvia (14:25):
Yeah, it was 1000 percent better
explained in the book.
Of how that came to be,but I definitely think it's
Jenna Zebro (14:32):
powerful because I remember seeing like a lot
of people talk about it afterand saying Well, that's the
whole point like you don't seeit coming and like you don't
expect it But I I just feellike it could have been a little
bit more seen in the movie.
Julia Salvia (14:45):
I wish they really Went into her head
and really and like describedher Well, because I feelings.
Yeah,
Jenna Zebro (14:52):
because I didn't feel like she didn't I didn't
picture her looking like thiseither First of all, like I,
if we're talking about that,like, I just like everything was
just different in my opinion.
Julia Salvia (15:01):
They completely, utterly casted, like Blade
Lively, as I feel likemost people would agree,
was not the right personto cast for this movie.
No,
Jenna Zebro (15:10):
not at all.
She was not the right person.
I think maybe when shewas in Gossip Girl, yeah.
That around age, but I justdon't think I just feel like
they just kind of switchedeverything in comparison
to the book and the movie.
I pictured her wayyounger in the book.
And then seeing her, like,the outfit choices and
everything, like, that'snot what I pictured.
Like, I like to see whatI'm picturing in my head
(15:32):
then, and that should havebeen how the movie was.
At least.
Yeah.
At least.
And I just didn't see that.
No.
So I feel like I didn'tconnect with it like I
did with the book already.
Julia Salvia (15:42):
I agree with that.
I think, as I was, like,very quickly, Voice, like
listening to the book.
I did not picture once her,her to be looking like that.
Jenna Zebro (15:55):
No.
I don't know.
I just, the outfitchoices everything.
I just,
Julia Salvia (15:58):
I think there's, there's a, like a happy medium
I think when casting people,like it's, when celebrities
get so large, it's celebrity.
You have to be carefulwith how you cast them.
Yeah.
Like, if you casted, Idon't know, you casted
Vin Diesel, okay?
Or The Rock, as Ryle.
(16:19):
Ugh.
Obviously, that'snot gunned down.
It's not a fit.
Jenna Zebro (16:22):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (16:22):
You know what I mean?
But even if you cast Well, I
Jenna Zebro (16:25):
didn't really think Justin
Baldoni was a fit, though.
I didn't think
Julia Salvia (16:27):
he was a perfect fit, either.
But I think I
Jenna Zebro (16:29):
liked him in it, though.
Yes.
But I, initially, thatwouldn't have been my pick.
I just think he justseemed really old.
I just pictured younger people,
Julia Salvia (16:38):
like that's just, that's really
how I felt about it.
They seem to take in the moviethat, they just looked older.
Jenna Zebro (16:45):
They looked more in their
Julia Salvia (16:45):
30s,
Jenna Zebro (16:46):
but like But I know she did say that
she just like, didn't agethem right in the book.
I remember readingthat Colleen said that.
She didn't, because how ishe like 20 something years
old already like a doctor?
Like that's not realistic.
But I mean, okay, who cares?
Just follow howyou did the book.
I think it was 26 in the book?
(17:06):
Like yeah, that'syoung to be a doctor.
You're not a doctor yet.
True.
That's why she said she agedthem older in the movie.
But I feel like, who cares?
It's a movie.
You know, you reallydidn't need to age them.
Julia Salvia (17:19):
To that extent.
Even if that was the case, Istill don't think that Blake
Lively was the right choice.
Oh, no.
Not at all.
Jenna Zebro (17:27):
Well, because she wanted to be more of a director
than just a person in the movie.
Well, think about all theother roles she's played.
Yeah, and I turneda lot of things.
I must say, I was a fan.
Like, I loved her.
Mm hmm.
Not anymore.
Now it's cut.
Julia Salvia (17:42):
I never really
Jenna Zebro (17:43):
liked her.
I don't have, like, You did whenI made you watch Gossip Girl.
Like, I was like,yeah, I love her.
Isn't it
Julia Salvia (17:48):
so interesting that we were watching,
like, Gossip Girl?
Like, every time youcome over, we do work.
You were watching, like, youwanted to turn on Gossip Girl.
And we were, like, watching her.
I know, I loved her.
Before
Jenna Zebro (17:56):
this even came to be.
Yeah, I was, and I lovedher in The Shallows.
And I watched her alot in Simple Favor.
I loved her in movies.
Julia Salvia (18:04):
I, I did, I felt like the role of
her in Simple Favor Fit.
That's why I sent youthat second movie.
It fits, but I actually thinkthat it almost like foreshadows.
Yeah, I think it fuckingforeshadows what's
happening now, especiallythe second movie.
Jenna Zebro (18:22):
I haven't seen it yet, but oh, no, it
didn't come out yet Oh, okay.
No, it's because I told youno one wanted to pick up the
movie because they don't getalong they hate each other
Yeah, so no one wanted topick up the movie because she
refused to do a press tourwith her That's why it's on
Amazon and you're just seeinglike simple things like that.
Yeah.
Because no one wants the movie.
Yeah.
But it looks good.
(18:43):
Like, now I'm kindof disappointed.
It looks great.
Julia Salvia (18:45):
No, it looks, it looks like a good movie
because the role was correct.
Jenna Zebro (18:49):
Yeah.
Like if she, if, I don't,you never read Verity, but
she would have been theperfect person in that movie.
Everyone says that.
TikTok and stuff.
That would have been herrole because that's almost
like a simple favor like
Julia Salvia (19:03):
yeah creepy
Jenna Zebro (19:04):
way and stuff like she would've
been perfect for that
Julia Salvia (19:06):
I think Colleen Hoover got starry eyed when the
the idea of like having such
Jenna Zebro (19:13):
big people in this movie Yeah,
Julia Salvia (19:15):
I think she got really starry eyed and the idea
of doing something meaningfulIt was just out the window.
Yeah, it went in oneear, out the other.
She saw stars, rosecolored glasses when she
heard, like, Blake Lively.
Jenna Zebro (19:27):
And I don't know for what, though, because I feel
like that book was so popular.
Like, there was no reasonto be like, I need famous
people in this movie.
Millions of peopleread this book.
Millions of people loved it.
So there was no reason to just,you could've casted anyone,
and we would've all watched it.
Like, it wasn't becauseBlake Lively was in it.
Julia Salvia (19:46):
I don't, I don't know, I don't know what it was,
like, specifically, but afterthat, that ten minutes where
she had something at the endof the book, at least in the,
um, the Audible, like, version,
Jenna Zebro (19:57):
where
Julia Salvia (19:57):
she talked about her experience, like,
with domestic, like, hermom being in a domestic
violence relationship, herbasically playing the role
of Lily, seeing her mom inthis, in this relationship.
It was shocking.
I never, I never readthat part in the book.
Shocking, but also, like,I'm not shocked in the way
of, like, a lot of art comesfrom personal experiences.
(20:21):
And I believe that a lotof fiction books come
from personal experiences.
Even non fiction, too.
Yeah, no, exactly.
And then, obviously,biographies are just,
Jenna Zebro (20:30):
you know,
Julia Salvia (20:31):
it's literally from your life.
But, like, for her to writea book like this based off of
The inspiration of a traumaticexperience she had as a child
through the eyes of like hermom basically and like her
parents It's I'm not surprisedthat that had happened.
Jenna Zebro (20:48):
No that
Julia Salvia (20:48):
there was this personal connection What I'm
surprised about is how shesays that she wanted to end
the cycle But it doesn't seemlike that's what happened
It did.
And I don't like when peoplecontradict themselves.
Jenna Zebro (21:05):
Mm hmm.
Well, cause I feel like that'sa lot of how her books are, too.
Mm hmm.
Like, there has to be,like, some, like, messed
up trauma in every book.
I think every author's gotsome sort of messed up trauma.
Julia Salvia (21:16):
Like, what you were talking about before.
Jenna Zebro (21:18):
Why do you wanna Yeah.
Julia Salvia (21:19):
Why do you
Jenna Zebro (21:19):
want to write I know.
And it was so sad becauseI loved the first book.
I think the first book, itwas like, she only likes
to envision people likeblonde hair, blue eyes.
And I'm like, oh my god.
Like, I had no idea.
And then I like said to myfriend, she's like, yeah, like,
it's like super controversial.
I'm like, I wouldn't haveknown that if someone
didn't tell me that.
(21:40):
Because I read hundredsof books a year.
Yeah, and I'm not likeanalyzing like the authors
like if I like your book.
I like your book if Idon't I don't yeah I don't
look into like the thingsand I would have no idea.
I didn't get that when I readthe first book I was crying
reading the whole first book.
It was a sad book And likeI didn't picture that at
all, but it's crazy to thinkthe differences in books
(22:03):
and then you look at theauthors so this case with
Julia Salvia (22:07):
Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively and Sprinkle
of Ryan Reynolds or, uh, Heavy.
Yeah.
Heavy input.
Have you ever seen them do icecream cones where they put the
sprinkles on the bottom, thenthe ice cream, and then on top?
That's Ryan Reynolds.
You pick two flavorsof ice cream, and Ryan
Reynolds is the sprinklescompletely contaminating
(22:27):
the entire ice cream.
He has too
Jenna Zebro (22:29):
much of an input.
Well, cause peop well, what'scrazy is I see I have a theory.
Oh, I have a theory.
I wonder if you havethe same theory.
Okay, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Tell me your theory.
She's upset that he didn'twant to be with her.
Justin Maldoni.
And Ryan Reynolds thinksthey were having an affair.
And that he wanted her,and she was like, no, no.
(22:51):
And he like turned it around,like, no, like, you tried
sexually assaulting my wife.
I think that's what it is.
Because people say, everysingle movie, stuff that
she's been in, she getswith one of the characters.
She did that with GossipGirl, she was with him,
then Ryan Reynolds.
And she couldn't crackJustin Maloney, because
(23:11):
he loved his wife.
I think that Agree?
What?
Agree?
No.
I actually
Julia Salvia (23:18):
think No! Partially agree.
I think that Ryan Reynolds isabusive towards Blake Lively.
See, I thought that too.
Yep.
I could see that.
And Justin Baldoni realized asthey got closer as coworkers.
Because here's the thing thatI've noticed about Justin
Baldoni, and this is allreally like, very much like
hearsay based off of just Yeah.
(23:40):
What's on the internet.
And what we're being fed.
And I want to make that reallyclear because of the just the
seriousness of like the topic.
Jenna Zebro (23:47):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (23:47):
Um, we'll never know the full story
and the full picture and knowexactly what happened, but I
feel like with the amount ofreceipts that Justin Baldoni
has shared and the amount ofthings that are out there on
the internet of like proofof all of a lot of things,
we'll know a good amount.
Jenna Zebro (24:04):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (24:04):
But there will still be some things missing.
In getting super close toeach other, maybe that was
Blake Lively's intention.
But To like escape, technically.
Maybe, like in some sort of way.
She's trying to escapefrom Ryan Reynolds.
I but I also really think thatJustin Baldoni has made it super
(24:26):
uber clear over the past coupleof years that he is an advocate
for domestic violence survivors.
He has done podcastepisodes about it.
He has helped inlike charitable ways.
Jenna Zebro (24:40):
Yeah.
He
Julia Salvia (24:41):
literally came out and said that he wants to do
this movie Because to advocate.
To advocate for domesticviolence survivors.
So, to really show adifferent perspective.
Like, they're just, it's justso clear in all of the marketing
and press around the movie.
Yeah, how it wasjust like, done.
(25:01):
Yeah, and I think what'sunfortunately not in his favor
is that you don't see men.
Two things.
You don't see men advocatingpublicly for women like that.
Jenna Zebro (25:13):
Mm hmm.
Julia Salvia (25:14):
And in such a big way.
And two, you don't see menbeing emotional or sharing
their emotions in the way thathe outwardly does all the time.
Yeah, exactly.
So when you see him in likeBlake Lively's like, lawsuit
about how he's sharing thesethings about himself that
(25:37):
are like, deep dark secrets.
Yeah.
He's, I feel like I can kindof relate in some sort of
way because I'm, I could comeout and tell you all the bad
things that happen to me.
Jenna Zebro (25:48):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (25:49):
But that doesn't make me a fucked up person.
That just makes me aperson who's comfortable
with who I am as a person.
Jenna Zebro (25:59):
Yeah,
Julia Salvia (25:59):
and to be able to share like what happened to you.
Exactly, and when we get closewith people, like, sometimes we
feel the need to bring it up.
Share.
Yeah, to share, to, to relate.
Yeah.
To share, to relate, tobring it up understand me.
To help youunderstand the person.
And I really think thatthat's what he had been
doing in all of it.
(26:20):
Um, and he's just like inan unfortunate situation
because, He's a guy.
Of course, everybody'sgonna, when a woman comes
out and says, you know,I was sexually assaulted.
Jenna Zebro (26:30):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (26:31):
I'm gonna
Jenna Zebro (26:32):
believe the woman first.
Exactly, because I feel likethat happens a lot, too,
with athletes and stuff.
Like, you see when, like, arandom girl will say, like,
no, like, he assaulted meand stuff, and it's, it
just ruins his reputation.
It comes out, oh,I was just kidding.
You know, and like, thatjust ruins someone's life.
And it can easily just ruina man's life when you make
that kind of accusation.
(26:52):
What
Julia Salvia (26:52):
person's life?
Like, it just, in this case,like, there is some sort
of, like, double standard.
But I do think doublestandards exist in all aspects.
But in this case, with just,Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively,
like, If you are genuinelyfucking around and lying, about
(27:12):
being sexually assaulted, youare hurting women like me,
Jenna Zebro (27:17):
who
Julia Salvia (27:17):
have actually been sexually assaulted, who
have actually gone throughdomestic violence, like, you
are hurting women who need to be
Jenna Zebro (27:24):
supported.
Because then, like, sayanother case comes, no,
I don't believe you.
Exactly.
And it was true.
Like, those aren't thekinds of things that you
pretend that happened to me.
Yeah.
And it didn't.
Julia Salvia (27:35):
And that's such an important thing to, like, It's
just so incredibly importantto, like, we know people lie
all the time, we know peoplemake shit up all the time, like,
and it's, you know, in courtmost times it's, I say most
times because not everything Ifeel like is fair and is done
correctly, but Yeah, definitely.
It's innocent untilproven guilty.
Jenna Zebro (27:55):
Yeah, that's how it always should be.
Julia Salvia (27:56):
And I just feel like this, this
is A lot of situations
Jenna Zebro (28:01):
it's not like that though.
Julia Salvia (28:02):
No.
No.
Jenna Zebro (28:03):
You're
Julia Salvia (28:04):
guilty until proven innocent.
Exactly.
And I think in this casethat was unfortunately
what had It's happening to
Jenna Zebro (28:10):
him.
Yeah,
Julia Salvia (28:11):
what had happened.
And I sit on the fence of,you know, wanting to be
on like the woman's side,but also But honestly,
Jenna Zebro (28:18):
I feel like even looking at it, I don't
really see anyone being like,Yeah, like, I believe her.
You know, like, technically,like, when we say, like, Oh, no,
like, he's, like, guilty untilproven innocent, Like, no, I
don't really feel like peoplethink like that right now.
There's such a lack offucking emotion from her.
Yeah, from her side.
Well, even on that SNL 50, like,how they made a skit, Her and
(28:39):
Ryan Reynolds, like, someonewas like, Oh, how are you doing?
And he's like, I'm fine,like, what have you heard?
And Blake Live is like,What are you talking about?
You know, like, And thenimmediately her face
changes in the people aroundthem, like, judging them.
Like, looking at themlike, No, you're a liar.
Like, you can notice that.
I remember, like, acouple directors in
the back, like, I saw.
There was a lot of directors.
(28:59):
I don't know specifically hisname, but he was looking at
them like, I know what you did.
You know what I mean?
Like, just that,that she's lying.
Well, I don't knowif she's lying.
I can't say she's lying ifthere's no, like, facts,
but there is a lot of facts.
There's nothing
Julia Salvia (29:16):
that really shows to me that he did it.
Not even that.
Not even that.
If you take out every bit ofproof that Justin Baldoni's
lawyers came out with, thatJustin Baldoni came out with,
if you gave me nothing, andyou just went off of Blake
Lively as a person and howshe's reacting to all of this,
(29:41):
I would say one of two things.
I would say that is not, andeverything is like take, you
take with a grain of salt.
You don't know how peopleare actually going to react.
Jenna Zebro (29:51):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (29:52):
You know what I mean?
And how they're going tohandle their, their traumas
and things that are traumatic.
And I would assume that ifsomeone sexually assaulted you
or made you feel uncomfortable,you are traumatized by
that in one way or another.
Jenna Zebro (30:02):
And I feel like you really wouldn't want to
share that with the world.
Julia Salvia (30:06):
I, I think it depends.
I was very quick to share what Ihad gone through with the world.
And that's only because I
Jenna Zebro (30:14):
actually But I think you timed
to process it, yeah.
Of course.
I don't think you would havedone it like the next day,
like you walked out of it.
Nothing
Julia Salvia (30:21):
that she talked about, said, made
me feel like she gave afuck about the actual Case.
Movie.
Oh.
The actual depth
Jenna Zebro (30:31):
of the movie, like Yeah.
The depth of like helpingdomestic violence survivors.
No, because I feel likeespecially throwing
him in the basement.
Like, touring, like, the redcart, like, that whole thing.
Well, someone said that wasabout, like, her feeling
uncomfortable around him.
Yeah.
So, she threw him, his wholefamily, all his friends.
(30:51):
Even, I think, therewas, like, a handy, I
don't, I don't remember.
There was some girl that,like, came for it with him.
And she was stuck in thebasement with all of them.
They were sitting ontop of water bottles.
You saw the picture come outof them all in the basement.
It's, how, how do you do that?
I don't know.
Julia Salvia (31:09):
Since I don't want to paint a picture of
what someone who's witnessedor experienced being sexually
assaulted feels like.
I don't want to paint a pictureof that, but it doesn't seem
like that's what happened.
(31:29):
And that gets meto my second point.
Jenna Zebro (31:31):
Well, because I feel like you think about
it, the movie was aboutthis, and now this happened
to the two main characters.
But then also That's veryinteresting to think about.
Ryan Reynolds playin all of this?
Yeah, he was too involved.
That's what makes me almostthink, okay How did this
happen if your husbandwas here all the time?
(31:52):
True.
That's not what I was going to
Julia Salvia (31:54):
say, but true.
Jenna Zebro (31:55):
I just feel like he would have been, like,
knock him out or something.
You know what I mean?
Like, don't look atmy wife like that.
Like,
Julia Salvia (32:01):
knock him out.
I was going to say, again, notpainting a picture of what a
sexual assault survivor, ora domestic violence survivor
should look like, but if BlakeLively was actually sexually
assaulted, I don't think thatthe way that she's been acting,
responding, and being in thepublic eye has, would paint.
Any picture that something likethat happened, but also the
(32:24):
second point I was going tomake is like well What does Ryan
Reynolds have to do with it?
Yeah, because if he's abusingher which is my theory it makes
so but it makes like I can'tsay that because I like Ryan
Reynolds, but I like that senseYeah, do you know what I mean?
It makes sense becausethen he has some sort
of control Over her.
Because that's whatan abuser does.
(32:46):
They get into your head.
They get into your brain.
They controleverything that you do.
And I, we can see thatin Ryan Reynolds and how
he's trying to controleverything about this case.
About what happened.
And by having this lawsuit comeabout and say Justin Baldoni
(33:10):
sexually assaulted my wife.
But
Jenna Zebro (33:13):
then I
Julia Salvia (33:13):
can also see it.
Let me finish my thought.
Hold on.
By coming in and sayingthat Justin Baldoni sexually
assaulted my wife, it'staking blame off of anything
that he does to his wife.
He's removing all of yourattention off of him.
I can't see someone being soangry off the fact that like,
(33:37):
I don't know, let's say thatlike Blake Lively did have
a thing for Justin Baldoni.
Maybe she did start to like him.
I can't, I can't see him beingmad to the point where he
would want to ruin someone'slife, but I can see her doing
that, but I, but hold on, Ican see, I can see him wanting
(33:58):
to ruin someone's life becauseThey came out and said, I'm
gonna tell the whole worldthat you abuse your wife.
And that's why I think that RyanReynolds abuses Blake Lively.
Jenna Zebro (34:12):
I don't know.
I don't feel that way.
I feel, I 100 percent seeyour points and stuff.
They would have one hell of afucking ego if it's not that.
I 50.
Like, I could see her being,like, the root behind this
whole thing, and like, he'sbacking her up, but I could
also see what you're saying.
Like, I would love to see moreabout that, but I feel like You
haven't heard anything aboutthem and like stuff because
(34:34):
they've been together for awhile I feel like there would
have been some kind of signBut I could ha but there's
not always signs, but When
Julia Salvia (34:42):
you I feel like when you have an ego so high
But I feel like she does, likeI don't really And that's why
she would want no one to know.
Yeah.
My parents, when I was in,um, so the relationship that
I kind of keep referring toin this, uh, podcast is this
one relationship I movedaway to a different state.
I didn't know anyone there.
(35:04):
The only person I knew was,like, my boyfriend at the time.
Yeah.
And my parents came to visit.
And I had just beenbasically sexually assaulted
by him, days before.
And I was, I'm not superclose with my parents, so I
was going to confide in themand tell them what happened.
Jenna Zebro (35:24):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (35:26):
But I couldn't.
Jenna Zebro (35:27):
I
Julia Salvia (35:28):
could see that, because you're
Jenna Zebro (35:29):
not comfortable.
Julia Salvia (35:29):
But not even that, you know why?
It wasn't even necessarilyabout, like, comfortability,
because I knew, even though Idon't, I didn't have a close
relationship with my parents,like, I knew that, like, I
actually, I can't even say thatI knew that they would fix it.
I actually didn't tellthem because of my ego.
Because I had just moved intothat apartment, even though they
(35:50):
told me not to, a week before.
Okay, I get what you're saying.
And I didn't want to belike, you were right.
Yeah.
Jenna Zebro (35:59):
No, 100%.
And not
Julia Salvia (36:00):
only are you, were you right in the fact that
I shouldn't have moved herebecause I know no one here,
you were right because I endedup moving in to an apartment
into a home with my abuser.
Jenna Zebro (36:10):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (36:11):
That I'm not, you know,
Jenna Zebro (36:12):
safe in.
And you knew.
Yeah.
Like you did that toyourself basically.
Julia Salvia (36:16):
But instead I shut the fuck up.
Jenna Zebro (36:18):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (36:18):
And I figured it out by myself.
And that, right there, becauseI let my ego speak for me.
That made me more alone.
Jenna Zebro (36:28):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (36:29):
It's, that is the scariest part when you know that
someone you love is being abusedor in that situation because
you can't even bring it up.
Jenna Zebro (36:40):
No, you like, don't wanna step in.
You don't wanna,
Julia Salvia (36:44):
because the more you do, the more the
person being either they'llpush you away or pushes you
Jenna Zebro (36:48):
away.
Yeah.
It just gets worse
Julia Salvia (36:50):
because I, I remember I would stop calling
my friends or like when I did,I would stop talking about him.
Jenna Zebro (36:57):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (36:57):
Because I knew in my gut that lie, what
was happening was wrong.
Was wrong.
Yeah.
I knew in my gut, so Istopped bringing it up.
I stopped talking about it and.
Every time my friends broughtit up, it would make me
want to call them less.
Jenna Zebro (37:13):
Yeah, because it's just like shut up
like stop talking about it.
Yeah, because I didn't wantthem to know Yeah, because
I don't want to slip up andsay something that might be
concerning and you want toask more questions and you
Julia Salvia (37:26):
You as well as the person who abuses you puts you
or controls you or manipulatesyou there's so many ways to
go about this, but they endup There's so many things that
happen from guilt, from ego,that end up putting you in a
position where you are alone.
(37:46):
From self doing it, by selfsabotaging yourself, which is
honestly what you're doing,um, not listening to your gut
is self sabotaging yourself.
And, and or, your abuser.
Not wanting anyone to bearound you that could even
for a second think thatthey're doing something bad.
Jenna Zebro (38:04):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (38:07):
And that, that's why my theory, I really think
that there's something that is
Jenna Zebro (38:13):
I could see it.
I could honestly see that.
There's something
Julia Salvia (38:16):
ego focused on like Blake and, and Ryan's side.
Jenna Zebro (38:20):
Yeah, well cause I feel like Ryan Reynolds is
seen as like this charming,funny, like amazing guy.
Mhm.
And you wouldn't thinkthat of him either.
Julia Salvia (38:29):
No, but guess who was also charming,
funny, handsome, andeverybody loved him.
No.
I mean, well, yeah, Ryle.
Yeah.
But also my ex boyfriend.
Jenna Zebro (38:39):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (38:40):
Everyone loved him immediately.
He's so Becauseyou don't see it.
No.
They're like, he'sso charismatic.
Everyone that he met loved him.
They thought he was so funny.
They were like, oh mygod, he's so handsome.
But they had no idea that behindclosed doors What he does.
He was the meanest person.
In the entire world.
And that's what'sscary about men.
(39:01):
Well, and women.
I mean, yeah, that iswhat's scary about men.
Yeah, you
Jenna Zebro (39:04):
don't know until You see the,
Julia Salvia (39:05):
you see the craziness with like,
someone like Ted Bundy.
Jenna Zebro (39:08):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (39:10):
You know what I mean?
Like, you, it's just Youdon't know until like,
you're really in it.
And you could say the samething about Ryan Reynolds.
Jenna Zebro (39:16):
Yeah, that's true.
Julia Salvia (39:18):
The part in all of this that I think is important
is that the entire integritythe entire meaning and the
entire good thing that wassupposed to come out of this.
Didn't.
Didn't, yeah.
(39:39):
And I don't know if it will.
No.
Jenna Zebro (39:43):
I don't think, no, not at all.
Because I really think thatall of this Like the movie's
gone, like we're done withthe movie, we're done with the
book, now let's focus on this.
Like we're never gonnathink about the book
and the movie again.
I think this is gonna put
Julia Salvia (39:57):
some Really tough emotions on women
who are in That position.
That she might not be in.
That, but also I think it'sgonna put women who are being
sexually assaulted, who are indomestic violence relationships,
like, I really think it's gonnaput them in a tough position.
(40:18):
In, in wanting to Speak up.
Speak up, and wanting togo to court, and, and bring
their abusers to court, andBasically give them, give
them what they deserve.
Yeah.
Because in a lot of, in a lotof ways there isn't proof.
Jenna Zebro (40:36):
No.
When
Julia Salvia (40:37):
a lot of these things happen.
There aren't photos,there aren't videos.
Jenna Zebro (40:41):
No.
There's no like actualproof to like, say
like, yeah you did this.
Julia Salvia (40:46):
Mm hmm.
So it'sso disappointing to see If
it is true that Blake Livelyreally was kind of just
exaggerating something thathad happened and she wasn't
sexually assaulted by JustinBaldoni, like, this is going
(41:07):
to be a case Of the century.
Jenna Zebro (41:13):
Yeah, well I feel like this was
also like the Johnny Deppand Amber Heard case.
I
Julia Salvia (41:16):
was just gonna say that, like a very
similar I don't think theywere the same necessarily.
No.
But I do think Cause I
Jenna Zebro (41:22):
think it was known that he did stuff to her though.
Yeah.
But like she did stuff to yeah.
Yeah.
That was completely different.
I think that was justThat's similar in that area.
That
Julia Salvia (41:29):
was a relationship of like two
extremely unhealed people.
Yeah.
Two extremely unhealed people.
And this is a case ofa work relationship.
Jenna Zebro (41:39):
Mhm.
Possible lover, possibleabusive husband.
Yeah.
I mean, there's like manydifferent areas to like add on.
There's so many
Julia Salvia (41:49):
directions that
Jenna Zebro (41:50):
it could
Julia Salvia (41:50):
go in.
This could be
Jenna Zebro (41:51):
a movie.
Julia Salvia (41:52):
Yeah.
Like, growing this.
This could have been.
And I'm sure that there willbe a Netflix documentary
out on this case.
I'm sure there
Jenna Zebro (41:58):
probably could have been on Peacock already.
Like, everyone's opinion so far.
Yep, 100%.
Julia Salvia (42:03):
I just think that it's not a
win for either of them.
It's not a win for either ofthem, but it's also not a win
for women who've been abused.
It's not.
And that's what's, I think,the most disappointing thing
that will come out of this.
It will end careers.
(42:25):
It will most likely be acontributor to people staying
in relationships that theymight not, should not stay
Jenna Zebro (42:35):
in.
Julia Salvia (42:36):
But I, I hope that even though the integrity of the
whole point Of It Ends With Us.
The whole, like, ideaof It Ends With Us.
Is It Ends With Us.
And I, I hope that at the veryleast, even though there's so
much of this, like, Filler.
Like, the, the case literallyjust feels like filler.
Jenna Zebro (42:59):
Because
Julia Salvia (42:59):
it's just so ridiculous.
Jenna Zebro (43:02):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (43:03):
I, I hope that women who are struggling, Men
who are struggling, anyonewho's in a relationship, Or has
a work relationship that makesthem uncomfortable or who has
been sexually assaulted or isin, you know, a relationship
that Has they've dealt withdomestic violence or that
they're being abused orbeing controlled manipulated,
(43:24):
whatever I hope that theycan look past this filler And
still be able to speak up.
And be able to see the message.
That it does end with them.
That they are the onesthat end the cycle.
That they are the ones thatare in control of their destiny
and what happens next for them.
And it's not an easy thing.
(43:45):
It's an extremely scary thing.
Especially you know,in a place where you're
so used to something.
But I hope that wecan go beyond using.
Other things and other outsidesources and people And finally
see the value in ourselvesthat we also deserve better
Jenna Zebro (44:08):
Exactly
Julia Salvia (44:08):
Not just our kids, not just our babies,
like not just our friends,our sisters, our family Like
you deserve better too You areworthy of healthy relationships
And my god, if I could tellanything to myself Listen
to your fucking gut Like,listen to your fucking gut.
(44:29):
It tells you everythingthat you want to know.
But we are so
Jenna Zebro (44:35):
I personally don't like to.
Why?
Because I just, not likethat, but I just feel like
a lot of times, like, Idon't want to believe that.
Like, even thoughI'll feel it in me.
Mm hmm.
Like, I, I like, kindof like, move past it.
Like, I'm not the typethat, like Likes to do
those kinds of things.
Like I They're not
Julia Salvia (44:53):
easy.
No.
That's why people don't like todo it, because it's not easy.
It's not an easy decision.
No, because
Jenna Zebro (44:58):
you don't want it Like, if something's
so bad, you don't want tobelieve it is that bad.
Julia Salvia (45:01):
Of course.
Because you don't want tobelieve that you could've
ended up Deserved better.
Yeah.
You don't want to believethat you deserve better.
You don't want to believe thatyou could've ended up in a
position, in the same positionthat your, your parent was in.
You don't want to believethat you are the statistic.
Jenna Zebro (45:16):
Mm hmm.
Julia Salvia (45:18):
But unfortunately, if your gut is telling you
that that's where you're at,the only thing that's going to
save you, the only thing that'sgoing to heal you, in anything,
is you, and it's your gut.
And your gut is you.
Listening to your gutis the most important
thing that you can do.
And I think our world is soloud, like this, I really
(45:38):
just want to say thisis such a dumb ass case.
It seems so pointless, and Ihate taking away The learning
and the education and theimportance of it and what
will come from it becausewe're not there yet And I
think that everything doestruly happen for a reason
Jenna Zebro (45:55):
because we still have another year,
Julia Salvia (45:57):
of course Yeah, there's still like some
time till this actually likehappens But if this really was
created on the basis of nothingIt's just so disappointing.
It's extremely disappointingIt's so disappointing and it
knocks down Where we tried
Jenna Zebro (46:15):
to get to.
Like it just feelslike 10 steps backward.
Julia Salvia (46:18):
Yeah, it does.
I feel like we're in aworld of 10 steps backward.
But I know that wheneverwe go 10 steps backward,
from where we're at, wealways go 20 steps forward.
And I'm hoping that thisis one of those things
that, where it gets worsebefore it gets better.
And when we watch thedocumentary, we are watching
(46:39):
the documentary, where it ends.
It ends with us at the end,like it ends, it ends, yeah,
it ends with them and this doesnot happen again and someone
who is in a really tough spotand not, maybe not a, not a
comfortable spot in their lifecan feel confident enough to
(47:00):
be able to take their case,their story to court, to say
something, to help someone else.
And, I mean, and that's onthe Self Love Archives because
that is exactly why I startedthe Self Love Archives.
Cause I know that we'renot, we're, we're not
alone in all of this.
No.
Jenna Zebro (47:18):
Cause there's 8 out of 10.
Mm
Julia Salvia (47:20):
hmm.
I think at the end of theday, the world is so loud.
And if we can take a secondto listen to ourselves.
Listen to our gut feelings,listen to how we're feeling,
whether that's physically,emotionally, mentally, like
that can change your life.
If you can shut the entire worldout and just listen to yourself,
(47:46):
that is so incredibly powerful.
So, you shouldlisten to yourself.
You should listen to yourself.
I should listen to myself.
You should listen to yourself.
Everyone shouldlisten to themselves.
Because You only knowwhat's good for you.
Exactly.
I mean, at the end of the day,like, we're all completely
(48:07):
different human beings.
But I know that we allhave, we all have, like,
our souls inside of us.
And we I'll have someone tolisten to, but again, the world
can get so loud sometimes thatit muffles out our voices.
Jenna Zebro (48:26):
Yeah.
Julia Salvia (48:27):
And I hope that we can push through and like,
actually share our voices andbe the ones that say, me too.
Or be the ones thatsay it ends with us.
So many thoughts on this case.
So many thoughts on this book.
So many thoughts on themovie, Colleen Hoover, and
how this kind of comes to be.
Comes to fruition.
(48:48):
How do you feel about it?
Jenna Zebro (48:49):
I can't wait for the case.
That's how I feel.
Mm hmm.
Like, I'm really lookingforward to seeing the truth.
Julia Salvia (48:56):
Yeah.
I'm looking forward toseeing the truth too, and I
hope that it does actually.
Come out.
Jenna Zebro (49:01):
Yeah
Julia Salvia (49:02):
in the case a year from now.
Maybe we'll pickthis back up then.
Jenna Zebro (49:05):
Yeah, March 9th, 2026 2026
Julia Salvia (49:09):
Thank you so much for tuning in to the self
love archives and for thank youfor hanging out with me Jenna
and chatting with me aboutthis if you are a Book lover.
You're a book loverWhat are your opinions?
Yeah, if you're a booklover, if you're a movie
lover, I would love to knowyour opinions on this case.
(49:31):
Where you stand, what youthink, unbiased opinions, truly,
because I think at the end ofthe day, like, I'm still, I'm
on, I'm not on a side, I'mjust on the fence, and I'm just
going off of what the facts are.
What we
Jenna Zebro (49:43):
read, what we watch, what lawsuit's
Julia Salvia (49:45):
exact, yep, and just how I feel as
like, a person who canrelate to what's going on.
And it's just so weird.
It's like almost like, um,the irony, that is the word.
This whole thing is just ironic.
It is.
It is the irony of the factthat you have an author that
experienced something thatexperienced domestic violence.
(50:08):
The irony that she wrote abook on it, the irony that
there was a movie made of it.
And then the irony that thereis now a case of sexual assault.
Jenna Zebro (50:18):
And contradicting yourself, like,
Julia Salvia (50:19):
the
Jenna Zebro (50:20):
son.
Julia Salvia (50:20):
Just like, and oh my god.
Jenna Zebro (50:21):
Yeah, let's not forget about the son.
No,
Julia Salvia (50:24):
that's a whole, Colleen Hoover's son, yeah.
That is a whole nothertopic that we'd love
to hear about too.
Yeah, that's a whole nothertopic, a whole nother situation.
And I think, ironic.
The irony is just.
That's what the movieshould have been called.
Really loud.
How ironic.
Jenna Zebro (50:40):
Yeah.
That's the
Julia Salvia (50:41):
documentary.
It should have
Jenna Zebro (50:41):
just been called, Starts With Us.
Like the second book, thesecond book that starts with us.
Yep, a hundred and ten percent.
Yeah, basically it starts withlike Lively and Justin Baldoni.
Yep.
And it's gonna end withus at the end of the case.
Julia Salvia (50:58):
Um, I will not be wearing flowers to
go and partake in any of
Jenna Zebro (51:05):
the
Julia Sa (51:06):
watching of the cases.
And I will not be grabbingmy girls to go enjoy a movie
about domestic violence.
Jenna Zebro (51:15):
Yeah, basically it's not what I did.
Julia Salvia (51:19):
These things, these things need
to be held with care.
And respect to people thathave went through this.
And respect and kindness.
Like at the end of the day,like, everything's up for
perspective and someone'sgonna say you got it wrong.
But I think that there's a wayto do things with a good heart.
And that was not in this.
No, not at all.
In a lot of ways.
(51:40):
If you or anyone you know hasexperienced Sexual assault,
domestic violence, abuse,anything that we've spoken
about on the podcast today.
Please check out the shownotes below for any of the
resources that can help.
If there's anything that I haveto repeat over and over and
(52:00):
over again, listen to your gut.
It never lies to you.
Thank you so much fortuning into this episode.
the self love archives.
Thank you again for beinghere and I'll see you guys.
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