The Sex, Porn & Love Addiction Podcast
Gary McFarlane helps you understand Sex, Porn & Love Addiction. This podcast dives into the neuroscience behind these issues, guiding you on the path to recovery. For more resources, visit: www.kairos-centre.com. Helping you better understand the neuroscience of the brain and sharing what we now better understand about the brain's involvement, from childhood development. To help you effect change; find the real authentic you (whose truth self went off at a tangent in childhood); so that as you discover and become re-acquainted with the real you, having learnt to like yourself, you are equipped to be the best that you can be. Maximise the living of an increased quality of life; and on the journey, achieve recovery and sobriety from Sex, Porn & Love Addiction using The Kairos Centre Changement Recovery Online Webinar programme; bringing colour back to life - without shame.What may be the world's first fully comprehensive Video-on-Demand Webinar Programme to help you gain sobriety and Recover from Sex, Porn, Love Addiction patterns of behaviour. First address the unresolved past uncomfortable events and then go after the Compulsive/Addiction activities.
Episodes
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
What is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.
Impediments to having great relationships:
Disruption in the bonding in early childhood development with the significant caregivers (usually parents), is a key factor. The male (a father) plays a very important role. Masculinity cannot be enti...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
What is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.
What is Man-ness? There is still a caveman instinct inside of us as men. Has the image got distorted as men try to metamorphize ourselves to fit what society tells us a man should be. Trying to fit what we are really not, is hard work. At som...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
"Narcissism because of Sex Addiction - Yuk! That's not me".
Many clients initially (but silently and violently) object to any suggestion that there is Narcissism at work. I am never suggesting they have NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder), but that they WILL have traits from Narcissism.
Here is one definition of Narcissism which I...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Developmental history from childhood
The phase of childhood from birth to age 6 is a critical time of sensitivity, during which time, templates are created which shape future interpersonal interactions. During this sensitive period of development, a child acquires a variety of new abilities and skills that are a necessary part of child developmen...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Sex Addiction is different to Porn Addiction. Sex & Porn Addiction are different to Love Addiction. They all get set up in 3 ways:
1. Opportunity: Material accessed too early in childhood development
2. Trauma: Just as it says on the label of the can! But make trauma age-related and its impact on the immature developing brain, not what is goin...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
The report found that 58% of respondents had seen violent pornography, including strangulation and rape scenes, before age 18, with girls more likely than boys to witness such content. Children are exposed to increasingly extreme online pornography, with concerns that new restrictions may be easily circumvented through VPNs. Worry was expressed,...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
"It was aged....and I came across my [parents] stash of porn. I kept going back to view when they were out and took a few to my my room. They never knew".
That is the very typical answer that I have been given by a large percentage of my adult clients when taking them through my History Taking Questionnaire. I ask them 188 questions ove...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Newspaper headline: "Joe is 10 years old and he is on The Sex offenders register and he has not yet kissed a girl".
How can that be? Is that really true? Surely not! Ok my goodness!
Even though that is not in the content of her Report, here is what the Children's Commissioner - Dame Rachel de Souza - says in the foreword of her Repo...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Put these tools into your armoury of resources to help you communicate more effectively:
John Grays 'Men are from mars and women are from Venus' is still worth a read. Also (although a somewhat provocative title) 'Men don't listen and women can't read maps' - is worth reading.
Both books remind us that there is a diff...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Sex addict, your body demeanour is going to give you away. Know the facts about the body and how you main have trained it to 'tell on you'!
When we first meet someone we form a very strong impression of them within the first 40 seconds. We form a lasting opinion of them within the first 4 minutes. Our opinion will influence the way in w...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
When we are communicating, the information is passing through the filters of the different structures of the brain. Sex Addiction does damage the brain and so, damages the filters.
We all have filters. The message being transmitted is going through the receiver, but the receiver has filters and that means the message can come out the other end lo...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
"A friend asks, "Tell me one word which is significant in any kinds of relationship." Another friend says, "LISTEN!" — Santosh Kalwar
As we continue to Repair broken communication in the couple because of Sex/Porn/Love Addiction trauma damage - recognise there is a big difference between Listening and Hearing.
Sometimes ...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Remember our foundational question: 'Do you enter a conversation to be understood or to understand?'
Communication is like a bicycle wheel. Picture the two of you riding along the road to your destination, but not getting very far because both wheels on your tandem bicycle are buckled. You will get to your destination, but not very fast...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." — David Augsburger
Listening effectively is a very valuable gift to someone. It is costly. It values the other person. It is learned and must be practiced. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Listening means that th...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
We are continuing to look at Couples Counselling to 'Repair' the Sex, Porn, Love Addiction relationship damage. Let's focus on 'Communication'.
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." — Ralph Nichols.
Communication i...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Human beings have a life cycle. Let’s take a look. (The last two stages are not governed by age).
Infant (Birth to 2 years): Changes in schedules, bedtime, routines new people around - can cause anxiety during this phase.
Child (3 to 9 years): Social skills are developing, particularly from interaction with other children. Separation anx...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Split agendas and contrary motives - that are hidden from each other. Is that you?
Jake & Jasmine on the seesaw of life, illustrates it. There are appearances, but below the surface of the relationship may be there is entrenched Emotional Disengagement. Couples engage in a dance for years, re-acting and counter re-acting to each others action...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Let's continue our look at 'Repairing the damaged couples relationship, post Sex Addiction'.
Does that image of the mules describe your relationship? of course not you, but your partner!
Each trying to get their needs met. Those Core Emotional Needs. Remember that Core Emotional Needs are not negotiable. They want to be met and Fig...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Building new foundations for the couple: Take a look at the Different Relationship Images document attached to this Podcast. I try to bypass language as much as possible. Feelings do not always tell the truth. We can be very English. Very British!
Question: "How are you today". Answer: "I'm fine thank you".
Observation aft...
- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre
Couples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple together at all. All about exploring options. Also to help you both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do life, as an individual.
Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things are true: “Marriage is not the coming together of two people. It’s a clash of two cult...
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