Sex Addiction does serious damage to the couple

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At the beginning of the couples therapy session, I like to ask a first question - 'How did you guys meet?' Telling the story will reveal the greater truth about where the couple are at in the conflict. Has the loving got snuffed out or is there a glimmer of light that may still be turned up. 

Is there a split agenda? Are there ulterior motives for one or both turning up for counselling? Has the conflict become entrenched and each dug in for a war of attrition?

We can teach our brains to say the right think, that we are expected to say, but often that is not the full truth! Just like the reply to the question - 'How are you doing?'  - evokes a knee jerk automatic answer - 'I am fine thank you'.

Body language will give a more truthful answer as to where the couple are at and more accurately represent what is really going on in the heart.

Telling the story of 'how did you meet' - will give a helpful calibration of where the couple are at and the nature of the work to follow, because of the toll the conflict has taken, before they sought help. As human beings, we tend to push it too far before reaching out for the help that we knew that we needed long ago.

At The Kairos Centre, we use less 'Talk Therapy' and more sculpting with representative visual objects, to get to what the heart is really saying. It really is 'a heart thing'. The heart tends to tell the truth, if you can get to it. 

We get to it at The Kairos Centre. Then we know how to move forward with the work of counselling - with truth as the focus - not unconscious half-truths!

Journey with us to reclaim your life, bring colour to life, without shame.

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Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment |