August 23, 2025 • 43 mins
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Feeling overwhelmed by digital burnout while craving deeper intimacy and community connection? You're not alone in this modern paradox. In this episode of Sex Reimagined, hosts Leah Piper and Dr. Willow Brown tackles the loneliness epidemic head-on, revealing how our obsession with digital efficiency is actually robbing us of living a more poetic life filled with adventure & deep connection that we so desperately crave.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
- Pattern interrupts: Do something slightly out of the ordinary together
- Tantric practices: Try Yab Yum (sitting meditation position) for 25 minutes before bed
- Ditch the phone rides: Ask friends to drive you places instead of using Uber
- Find your people: Buddhist centers, poetry nights at local venues, fitness buddies
- Shared experiences: Comedy shows, live music, anything where you laugh/feel together
- Show up consistently: Pick one community thing and stick with it
- Complete digital detox days (like Willow did when she couldn't even open her computer)
- Create device-free zones during meals and before bed
- Replace scrolling time with offline activities that actually fill you up
LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE CAN BE FOUND HERE ON THE WEBSITE
AWAKENING THE GODDESS IN CRETE! Leah & Willow want to take you on an all-woman's tantric pilgrimage to Greece Oct 5-12, 2025! Join us for a trip of lifetime.
THE VAGINAL ORGASM MASTERCLASS. Discover how to activate the female Gspot, clitoris, & cervical orgasms. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST 20
LAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Willow (00:04):
What if your life wasn't meant to be managed, but
designed like a masterpiece in aworld that worships
productivity?
We've forgotten the Sacred Artof Living.
We've traded the wildness forefficiency, beauty for
convenience, aliveness forautopilot.
But what if your day could feellike a love poem to your soul?
(00:25):
What if pleasure, presence, andpurpose weren't luxuries?
But your actual baseline.
In today's episode, we're divinginto the artistry of epic
living.
How to reclaim your life as asensual, sacred, fully expressed
creation.
We'll explore the practices,perspectives, and energetic
shifts that help you break freefrom the grind and step into the
(00:46):
life that turns you on.
Leah (00:48):
Wow, yummy, y'all.
My name is Leah Piper.
I am with the beautiful Dr.
Willow Brown.
We are the co-host of the SexReimagined podcast.
Willow (00:58):
That's right, bitches
Leah (00:59):
this is an LX W episode, so you better tune in, turn on,
Willow (01:04):
and fall in love with us.
Announcer (01:08):
Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is
shame-free and pleasure forward.
Let's get into the show.
Leah (01:17):
Well, I'm just kind of ready to dig into this topic
with you.
Um, there's been a lot on mymind.
I think part of this is comingfrom being in the day to day, a
little bored, a little sick ofthe routine.
I am a wander lust.
I am, uh, I don't know.
Sometimes I think, oh, it's,it's because I've been in a
(01:39):
long-term relationship for solong or it's'cause we're at a
standstill'cause Matt's gotthese surgeries he has to do and
so life has just gotten smallerand now I'm getting older.
So everything's been affected byperimenopause and going like,
uh, I'm, I'm entering middleage.
That means half my life has beenlived and now I've got this
(02:00):
other half and I better make itcount.
And so when I look at like thenews and what's happening in
social media and in our lives,I'm like, technology is so, it's
so front and center.
I'm so sick to death of thetechnology conversation.
Um.
I'm so sick of algorithms and Ifeel hungry for like the poetry
(02:25):
of life.
I feel like if we, I'm a littlenervous about the future.
I'm a little nervous aboutfuture generations.
It's like everything is sotechnology based that I feel
like we're getting isolated andour worlds are getting smaller
and we're forgetting about like,oh wait, no, I wanna live the
poetry of life.
I don't wanna live thetechnology of life, but, it's
(02:46):
not either or is it?
I don't need it to be either or.
I want it to be an and, but I'mafraid we're gonna lose the art
of life and the love of life andthe connection between others
with all this technology mayhem.
Willow (02:59):
Oh my gosh, I can relate.
I had to do a digital detoxyesterday and missed some
appointments because of it, youknow, just like couldn't catch
it all.
And I think it's reallyimportant to, um, maintain a
balance for yourself.
I mean, the, the world is gonnago where the world's gonna go,
and AI is definitely taking usin a whole new direction,
(03:20):
especially in regards tosexuality.
And, um, I think we have to kindof like keep dropping back into
our own nervous systems andfinding that place inside of
ourselves where we can, um, youknow, becoming too.
The coming back to the computeror back to the phone or back to
(03:41):
technology with energy, if we'recoming to it drained, we're just
gonna get more drained.
So it's really important, Ithink, to do digital detox days
or hours at a time if possible.
Leah (03:53):
Yes, and look at what all of this technology's been aiming
to do for the last, you know,decade or more, is it's to make
life easier.
It's to save us time.
It's all about saving us timeand being more efficient,
efficiency, time saving,efficiency.
Time saving, do more, get moredone, be more successful.
You know, like, hum many thingsyou knock off on your list
(04:15):
today.
So it's, it's kind of a paradoxbecause on the one hand it's
exhausting.
On the other hand, it's a job isto give you more freedom.
And this is where I waslistening to Esther Perel, um,
today, and, and one of thethings that she said that really
struck me was like, we've neverbeen more free
Willow (04:35):
Ahuh.
Leah (04:35):
and in the freedom we've never been so alone.
Willow (04:40):
Right, because it's,
Leah (04:41):
there's so many decisions to make in the freedom where
before when you have lessfreedom, some decisions are
being made for you,
Willow (04:49):
right.
Leah (04:50):
and those are
Willow (04:51):
gonna go, yeah, it's either you're.
Yeah, you're either gonna goleft or right, and now it's like
you could go up, down, left,right, front, back, side to
side.
And it is, um, creating a lotof, uh, I think the, the level
of freedom that you're talkingabout, where it's like we have
so many choices.
If we look at the dating appworld, it's like, oh, I, I
(05:11):
didn't like the way that persondrove, or I didn't like the way
that person sipped their wine orwhatever.
These tiny little things thatyou don't dig deeper with people
where it's so easy to just swipeonto the next person and move on
to the next date.
right now we're seeing this, youknow, this current generation
of, of young people who are nothaving the same social
(05:34):
interactions.
They're not having the samesexual encounters that, you
know, we were having when wewere their age, because there
is, they don't know how torelate.
Like they've been relating to ascreen.
Leah (05:45):
I think it might be different than that.
I think it's that they'reindifferent.
Maybe that's because they don'tknow how to relate.
But is that, I really wonder ifthat's true.
Is it really that it's'causethey dunno how to relate?
Or is it just that they werejust raised differently?
I mean, you and I weren't raisedwith computers or even
high-speed internet.
You know, remember dial up.
Willow (06:04):
Right.
Leah (06:05):
remember call waiting
Willow (06:06):
I remember flip phones.
Yeah.
Leah (06:09):
And wired telephones.
Like we had, we had these giantlong, um, lines of telephone
wire so that
Willow (06:15):
curly wire.
Leah (06:16):
into the dining room or into the living room or into the
kitchen.
Willow (06:20):
Totally.
Yeah.
It's just a different way ofbeing raised in a different
world and yeah, I do think thatthat freedom that we have now of
like so many options and so manychoices and so many different
directions that we could chooseto go kind of freezes a lot of
people up.
You know, I've definitely beenthere where I'm like, fuck, I
just can't decide.
I, you know, you get to thispoint of decision fatigue where
(06:42):
you're just exhausted fromtrying to decide which way to
put your energy.
And um.
I was talking with, uh, who'sthat?
I was at a party the other nightand I was talking to someone
about our summit that we justdid recently, and I was like, oh
my God, the information wasamazing.
Like, you know, there was allthese different speakers
speaking about how to haveharder cocks, you know, in the
(07:04):
morning and how to, you know, itfemale sexual psychology and
also the astrology of sexualityand just like kind.
And she was like, wow, wow.
That all sounds so fascinating.
And a little bit of an olderwoman, she's like, and I just,
there's so much information outthere right now, you know, I
could just see the overwhelm inher eyes, just hearing about it.
Much less like signing on,logging on and actually watching
(07:27):
it, you know?
Leah (07:28):
Yeah.
You know something even justlike beyond sex, but like
connections with community andfriends.
Like before Uber, you asked yourfriends to take you to the
airport.
You know, it's like taxis werekind of expensive in a luxury.
So it was like you relied onyour neighbors, you relied on a
good friend or a family memberto say, Hey, I need a ride to
(07:49):
the airport.
Now.
Everyone's like, I can't bebothered to take you to the
airport.
You know, just get a fuckingUber.
And I'm like, there's a part ofit that's like, that's so fucked
up.
So even, even if you are like,oh God, I don't wanna do this
friend a favor.
You end up getting in the car.
You pick up your friend, youride'em to the airport, you end
up having a really coolconversation and you, you leave
the airport feeling
Willow (08:09):
Feeling good?
Leah (08:10):
your friend more,
Willow (08:11):
totally.
Leah (08:12):
you're not disappointed.
You spent that.
45 minutes or maybe two hours orhowever long it takes to drop
somebody you care about off atthe airport.
You feel nourished by thatfucking car ride.
And I just think, I think theseare the things we actually have
to like take a pause and go, wein this rush to save time.
(08:35):
To not be inconvenienced.
We are robbing ourselves ofconnection.
We're robbing ourselves ofcommunity, and we are, our lives
are getting kind of smaller andlonelier even if we live with
people.
Willow (08:47):
Right.
Leah (08:48):
And I'm a little discouraged by that.
It's like, I wanna, I wanted totalk about this'cause I'm like,
you guys, let's wake up.
Let's, let's recenter, uh, let'snot lose touch with what gives
our lives, meaning, connection,and purpose.
And we're about to head into acrazy future where a lot of that
(09:09):
stuff is gonna be done withoutour input.
We've got so many industriesthat are gonna be, um, operated
by ai,'cause AI's gonna do itbetter.
I mean, look at copywritingright now.
Willow (09:23):
Right.
Leah (09:23):
You know, writing books, I mean, people are gonna have an
idea and then they just spout itinto ai and then AI's gonna
write it a thousand times betterthan they ever could.
Willow (09:31):
Totally.
Leah (09:32):
Hopefully we'll still buy those books and read them.
I don't know.
Um, photography's about to go,uh, out the window.
Hopefully not artisticphotography.
Willow (09:41):
Right.
Leah (09:42):
but I mean, all the video stuff, the way they do movies,
everything's gonna change.
And I'm a big believer inchange.
I'm not one of those people thathates change.
I really embrace change.
Um,
Willow (09:56):
We just need to, we need to slow ourselves down through
the change because the change isnot gonna go slow.
Right.
It's already is not going slow.
It's going very fast.
And so we have to, um, takeresponsibility for our own
pacing through it all.
And, uh, listen, this is where,you know, this is where these
(10:17):
ancient Tantric practices comeinto very handy is like, we're,
you know, you and I are so adeptat listening.
To our nervous assistance andlistening to our bodies and
listening to the moment.
And so many of our listeners aregreat at listening too, you
know?
And so, um, I think that's,that's the thing that you have
to do.
Like yesterday, I was like, Ijust cannot open my computer.
(10:38):
Like it's just not gonna happen.
I'm just gonna take the wholeday off.
I'm not gonna open it at all.
And I felt so much better, somuch more renewed.
I came, I was like, ready to gotoday.
You know?
And so sometimes it, it doesn'thave to take a lot to find the
balance.
It just requires focus andconnection.
Just like sexuality, like justlike, you know, turning on new
(11:01):
levels of arousal.
It doesn't have to be hard, itdoesn't have to take a lot.
It just requires focus andattention.
Leah (11:07):
You know, Matt and I did something fun this weekend, and
it's probably gonna sound soboring.
Um, but, uh, I don't know.
My mother-in-law was visitingand she ended up pulling off on
some suburb of Sacramento, um,and she was like, oh, this place
is really cute.
You guys should check it out.
So we drove 30 minutes away.
Willow (11:26):
Mm-hmm.
Leah (11:27):
To a suburb of Sacramento.
We drove around the little town.
We started feeling a littlepeckish.
So I was in the mood for Indian,so I searched for Indian.
It was five minutes away,
Willow (11:39):
Nice.
Leah (11:40):
we just checked out this little town, you know, and we
listened to a podcast.
We had interesting conversationas a result of the podcast.
We had a nice dinner and we justtook a around and said, oh look,
that new subdivision, I don'tlike that one.
It's got, the trees are allyoung, but I love that old girl
subdivision.
That's where I would wanna live,you know?
And, and then last night we satdown and did some Yab Yum.
(12:04):
knows what that is.
It's a type of, um, it's a, it'sTantric love making position or
a meditation position.
You don't have to have sex forthis position, but you're
sitting in a stride.
Um, come to one of our classes,we'll teach you all about it.
And, um, and it was just sosweet, you know, and we just sat
there and he was like nibblingon my neck and I'm giggling and
um, you know, he is kind ofrubbing my yoni.
(12:26):
I've got panties on.
He doesn't like go in oranything, but like, I reached so
many fun, joyous states of justconnection and pleasure and kind
of silliness.
And I just, and I knew that thathappened because we did this
little subdivision tour, othertown, you know, it was like
(12:47):
doing something new, created it,a little bit of closeness, and
we didn't just spend a lot ofmoney to just drive down to
another subdivision to take apeek.
Willow (12:55):
Exactly, and I think it's gay and Katie Hendricks,
who's who talk about the patterninterrupt.
Like, not, not just like the,the big life pattern interrupt,
like go on a vacation, but youknow, throughout the day, like,
do something out of the norm,like sleep on the other side of
the bed or, or walk down thehallway differently or, you
know, um, instead of like.
(13:15):
Pecking your, your partner whenyou walk through the door, you
know, give them a big juicy hugand a giant kiss, you know, or
just whatever.
Just changing it up.
It's, we, it's so easy to getinto routine, especially in
relationships and especiallyaround sexuality that, you know,
it's sometimes having those,those adventures like you guys
(13:36):
had yesterday can like totallyshift the dynamic in the home
space too, which I think is sogreat.
Leah (13:44):
Yeah, and it was really interesting to do something just
simple but out of the ordinary.
And then the next day that ledto more connection, more
presence.
Him and I both love to like goto bed and read a book, you
know?
Um, but guess what?
We still went to bed and readthe book, but we added, you
(14:05):
know, 25 minutes of just reallybeing with each other and look
into each other's eyes andlaughing and giggling and
pleasuring.
And it didn't lead to anythingother than, God, I fucking love
you.
I'm so grateful.
You're in my life.
We need more of this.
And we really talked about howimportant having something new
is to like refresh ourconnection because we just get
(14:28):
in the habit of just doing thesame old thing.
And um so I look forward toseeing what we're gonna do
today.
That's a little new.
And I think for us, we neededsomething that's a little more
time consuming than just let megreet you at the door with a
kiss, because that's also turnedinto a habit,
Willow (14:46):
Right,
Leah (14:47):
you
Willow (14:47):
Anything that turns into a habit, you need something
else.
Right.
You need something different.
Yeah.
Leah (14:53):
And that's kind of what I mean by like leaning into the
poetry of life.
I think like when we go out andwe engage, whether that's just
with our partner, but hopefullylike I want this to be, I want
to expand this outside of justsexual relationships.
Like I know that I need to startengaging in a more intentional
way with community at large.
(15:15):
I think sometimes I resist that.
I don't know why.
It feels like another thing Ihave to be responsible for.
And I think that's where themindset shift has to be in
place.
Like, um, Esther was talkingabout like, people need to come
over those people you love tosing.
You know, I have heard you, whenyou go and go to like a singing
event, like a kurtan orsomething, you come back
(15:36):
nourished, replenished probablyin a way that's even more
significant than if you werejust singing at home by
yourself.
Willow (15:42):
Way more.
Leah (15:42):
And I feel that way about going to a comedy show,
Willow (15:45):
Yeah.
Great.
Leah (15:46):
get to like laugh with other people and we're all
having an interconnectedexperience, which means we're
listening to someone on stage,share something and we're all
experiencing the consequence ofwhat they're sharing through
laughter.
You know, so there's aninterconnected play that's
happening, um, and it doesn'trequire us to have a
(16:07):
conversation, but we're stillhaving a shared experience.
Willow (16:10):
Right, exactly.
Yeah.
Community.
I mean, think about how likelong before screens and cell
phones and Instagram, what didwe do?
We sat around the fire and wesang together, or we laughed
together, or we danced together.
Like we were always in, incommunity.
We were always in interactionwith each other.
We're tribal people.
We're a tribal culture.
(16:32):
Now, currently living in boxes,driving in boxes, and talking to
each other through littlehandheld boxes, you know, we're,
we're all boxed up.
And
Leah (16:40):
right.
Willow (16:40):
it's really like, yeah, it's very isolating and it's,
it's, it's not our natural stateand so it takes a toll on our
bodies.
It takes a toll on our nervoussystem.
And, um, that's why it's soimportant that we get out into
nature every day that we dosomething different, that we get
into community, that we laughwith other people, we cry with
(17:01):
other people.
We just like connect and touchpeople who are not our partner.
Even, you know, even if you'relike in a, in a partnership and
you're getting some touch athome, it's still so good to go
cuddle with a girlfriend, youknow, at a, on the couch at her
house or at a kurtan party thingor
Leah (17:18):
Well, I mean even like back in the day when we were
growing up, like, what was ontelevision, you know, like you
sat down and you watched theshow regardless of whether you
were interested in the show,your family was watching the
show.
So you watch the show, youcould've been bored, you know,
but you, you hung out.
That's what there was to do.
There weren't all thesethousands of options on our
(17:40):
phones where we end up isolatingourselves from the other people
in the room and we're havingthis solo experience of
entertainment instead of havinga shared experience of
entertainment.
And I think we're losingsomething as a result of like,
you know, we basically havecomputers in our pocket.
And I'm not gonna stop using thecomputer
Willow (18:02):
Of
Leah (18:02):
You know what I mean?
I'm
Willow (18:03):
not what this is about.
Leah (18:04):
that.
Um, but it's about how can wejust start turning towards, on
either side of us and noticelike what is there.
And one of the things I've beendoing is, um, I've been going to
this, uh, Buddhist center herelocally and on Wednesdays and
Thursday nights.
Wednesday nights is a refugenight.
And those.
Those are people who are, um,working with addiction.
(18:26):
I actually really love those.
I'm not really battling with anybig addictions or anything, but
I'm actually really enjoyingthose evenings quite a bit.
Um, there's a shared experienceof struggle and I can relate to
that even if I'm not in like,
Willow (18:40):
You had addictions in the past.
Yeah.
So you
Leah (18:43):
thousand.
Yeah.
And I will probably have more inthe future that come and go
depending on what I'm trying torun away from.
Willow (18:49):
Right, right,
Leah (18:50):
But, uh, you know, they do this little reading.
Um, there was this one woman theother night who opened it up
after 20 minutes of meditationand she just shared her story of
her path with meditation andshe, she lived in Santa Cruz the
same time I lived in Santa Cruz.
She went to the, um, insightSanta Cruz, which is the
Buddhist community there when wedid.
So our paths were probablyparallel and it was just lovely
(19:14):
to hear her journey as someonejust sharing their life, a
stranger sharing her life.
And I had seen her every timeI'd gone.
So it was wonderful to likelisten to her speak for 25
minutes about her journey.
And we all felt like we knew herafter her share, you know, and
it was, now it's just gonna beeven more comfortable when I
(19:35):
walk in the room and I say hi toher.
Um, so there's somethingcommunity
Willow (19:40):
Community people.
More community.
Leah (19:43):
and there's something to be said about community that's
in person.
Willow (19:46):
Absolutely
Leah (19:47):
know, I think, I think the reason why this feels so
critical for me at this time inmy life is since moving to
California, um, what, 16 yearsnow?
Um, from Oregon.
I never have had since livinghere, like a super core group of
homey friends.
Every other iteration whereverI've lived in the past, I always
(20:09):
had my
Willow (20:10):
that.
Leah (20:10):
Now everyone is dispersed.
Willow (20:12):
Right,
Leah (20:13):
So I'm in connection, but not like in person.
You know, you and I visit witheach other almost every day, but
we're not in the same town.
We're not running the errands tohomegoods.
Willow (20:25):
I wish we were, because yesterday I had to go shopping
and I was like, fuck, I wishLeah was here.
And I had like threegirlfriends.
I was like, I wish thisgirlfriend, that girlfriend, and
Leah (20:34):
Well, I was
Willow (20:34):
go shopping with me.
I know you did help me.
Actually, I got some really cuteoutfits I gotta show
Leah (20:40):
Oh, great.
Willow (20:41):
video shoot.
But, um, anyway, I, yeah, it'sjust, I know it's hard being in
a, in a new place without yourgirlfriends.
Uh, I think you should move toSanta Barbara.
Leah (20:51):
Yeah, I know.
I've been thinking about like,what would it be like to
downsize and have spend lessmoney and do more other things,
more experiential things insteadof having things, having
experiences.
That's another thing I'm.
On my mind.
(21:11):
So I'm really curious from ouraudience, like
Willow (21:15):
What are some
Leah (21:16):
do you guys
Willow (21:16):
you like to do?
Yeah.
Tell us In the, in the comments.
Leah (21:20):
And like what are you worried about as AI takes over
our life and how do you managedecision fatigue?
Because decision fatigue is ourreal thing.
Willow (21:32):
Yeah.
Leah (21:33):
Um, and.
How can we slow down and invitemore connection?
Because someone's gonna have tolead this.
And if you're listening, I'minviting you to lead it.
I'm inviting myself to lead itbecause waiting around for
someone else to tell us how todo this, we're, we're gonna be
(21:54):
in a worse off place if we'rewaiting someone else to solve
this problem of, you know,loneliness versus connection.
Willow (22:02):
Well, let's talk too a little bit about how do you
think that this, you know, um,very fast-paced digital world
is, uh, depleting people's, um,relationship to their own
sexuality and their curiosityabout exploring it with others?
Leah (22:23):
I think the big thing is we're getting numbed out.
So we're losing touch with beingsort of in our emotional body,
which is where con that's whyconnection feels so good is
'cause it actually brings youinto your emotional body.
It, it gives you a feeling ofwellbeing
Willow (22:40):
like medicine,
Leah (22:41):
and sometimes we're like, sometimes we shun emotions as if
like they're the bad thing when,so the alternative is like,
what?
So we're just like gonna numbout and not feel anything at
all.
Um, I think emotion is whatbrings the variety and the juice
to life.
And let's not run away fromthat.
Let's actually be really, reallypresent to that and let's seek
(23:01):
out feeling great with otherpeople.
You know, I,
Willow (23:07):
Hallelujah.
Leah (23:09):
I'm, I'm working out with a girlfriend and with a personal
trainer and I'm like, so gladwe're doing
Willow (23:14):
Oh, that's fun.
Leah (23:15):
Yeah, and I'm getting, I can feel myself getting
stronger.
I, and not that I feel likesomeone's pushing me, but she's
inspiring me to like, increasemy weight and increase my reps,
my reps.
And so like every week I'm, I'mstaying at the gym longer when
I'm working out on my own.
Um, and like, so I can, so Ifeel this sense of vi vibrancy
and like resilience and, youknow, you and I just kind of
(23:37):
have gone through sort of astressful period, uh, with
business, um, launches and stufflike that.
And, and I feel like I'mstarting, like, I'm like, oh, I
need an attitude change aroundall of this.
I'm sick of feeling like thesethings are a burden versus
something to be completelyinspired about like, I can't
wait to be live with people.
(23:59):
Like I can't wait for this tripto Greece.
And the people who are comingare like the absolute right
people for this experience, andwe're gonna go so deep with them
and I'm gonna feel a part ofmyself that maybe I haven't been
in touch with and I can't waitto touch that part of myself
again.
And I know I will, because theperfect people are registered
(24:20):
and um, and there's gonna beeven more people who register.
And so if you feel the callYeah, I'm talking to you baby.
Willow (24:28):
Come to Greece.
I'm so excited.
Yeah.
In fact, I was, um, I've beenstudying Greek mythology.
We both have in different ways.
You're listening to a book andI'm watching this really cool
series on, I don't know where Ifound it on Amazon or something.
But anyway, it's just, it'sreally, you know, speaking of
getting back to poetry andgetting back to like the, the
(24:48):
Song of Life and the art ofliving The art of life, you
know, like the Greeks, man, theywere, they were all about it.
And the, the stories of
Leah (24:58):
they were all about sex
Willow (24:59):
They were all about sex.
Yeah.
They really were.
They really weren't holding backon that shit.
It was great.
And so it's just so cool tolike, you know, see like how the
ancient cultures and to bringsome of that into our modern
culture.
Like we can bring, and that's,you know, that's what we do is
(25:20):
we bring this, these ancientsexual, sacred sexual techniques
to modern day people.
But you know, we can also bringso much more of, of what
sensuality and what sexualityis.
I mean, eating an orange couldbe the most sensual thing you do
that day if you open yourself upto that.
(25:40):
Right?
I know Leah loves oranges.
You know what she does?
She puts them in therefrigerator so that the skin
gets hard around them, and then,and then she eats them and they
like crunch.
Yeah, that is quite good.
Leah (25:56):
yeah.
Um, you know, it's interestingback to poetry because I'm
actually, I don't really lovepoetry as like an actual thing.
Um, but I love the art of lifeand I love the meaning of what
poetry is.
But, you know, funny enough, um,I went to the local dungeon here
in Sacramento called TheBattery.
And it was great.
(26:17):
I've been meaning to kind ofcheck it out and they had a
poetry night and that was whatwe were attending.
'cause I was supporting a newfriend and she was putting it on
and oh God, she had a greatname.
Um, it'll probably come back tome.
It was wonderful.
It was lovely listening topeople's raunchy poetry and even
like, and the one person, um,read, uh, some famous author who
(26:40):
I think wrote some famous bookfrom my, from
Willow (26:45):
some famous time.
Leah (26:46):
ago, know, um, I think he was an Irish, an Irish bloke.
And, um,
Willow (26:53):
Probably
Leah (26:54):
anyways, so him and his wife were, would, would write
these dirty letters to each
Willow (26:59):
Oh,
Leah (27:00):
she wrote one of, she read one of the dirty letters.
It was my favorite reading ofthe night.
It
Willow (27:06):
oh.
That's
Leah (27:07):
So like you didn't have to read your own poetry, you could
read anything.
Yeah.
The naughtier the better.
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'll definitely go back andI'll prepare something, you
know, like another reason tolike be in community and play
with artistic expression.
Willow (27:24):
and write a poem.
I used to write poems all thetime.
I had
Leah (27:29):
You seem like the poet type for
Willow (27:31):
of poetry.
By the time I got outta high
Leah (27:34):
Look at you're a good poet.
Willow (27:35):
It was a great
Leah (27:36):
Yeah.
Willow (27:37):
I am a great poet.
I just haven't written any in solong.
But yeah, it would be good.
It would be fun for me to dothat Again, I used to be very
artistic too.
I would like make littlepaintings around my poems and
things.
I mean,
Leah (27:50):
Well, this is where I think this is a very interesting
phenomenon because this is wherepeople would go to church.
And there would be an outlet.
People come together, there's aninterconnected experience.
You, every weekend you couldlook forward to it.
You would catch up with yourneighbors and you took time out
it.
And it's not like it produced agiant result.
(28:12):
It was like, yeah, you prayedtogether.
You might have sing together.
You might, you know, and so, andwe don't have that so much.
I mean, religion has, thestatistics are dropping down
every single year.
People aren't called to that theway they used to be, but we're
missing something by missingthat.
So I think for us to still havea place to gather and be in a
(28:34):
group without like this giantpurpose, like it's gonna produce
a giant result, it's just, it'skind of like.
You come together and you go tothe park and you just watch the
kids play, or you eat a picnic.
Willow (28:44):
Right.
Leah (28:45):
it's not producing a result or achieving a goal.
But I think what it does is itallows us to come together and
maybe dream together.
Willow (28:53):
Totally.
Which totally enhances your,your sensuality and your
sexuality.
It like stimulates places inyour brain that stimulate places
in your body that you wantstimulated.
Leah (29:04):
Well, yeah, it increases wellbeing and when you feel
good, you
Willow (29:07):
so crucial.
Leah (29:08):
you know, maybe get your body next to somebody else's
body and feel even better.
Willow (29:12):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, dance is a reallybeautiful way to get into your
body and to be in community.
You know, they have all these,um, like ecstatic dances all
over Santa Barbara, and I'vegone to some of them.
Um, and it's just fun to like,see people be in their fullest
expression, you know?
(29:33):
And, and like that, I thinkthat's one of the things that we
love about the arts is it'slike.
It's so inspiring because it'slike that's somebody's
expression, like that's what'sin somebody's heart.
And I think we get kind of stuckon like, well, there's gotta be
a right way to do that.
There's gotta be a right way toexpress.
I don't know if I'm doing itright.
(29:53):
I don't know if I could get upand speak my poem to the group
at the dungeon.
You know, I don't know if Icould get on the dance floor and
move my body in the way thatfeels right for me.
I don't, am I doing it right?
And, and so anyway.
That kind of came through for melast night.
I was having a very deep journeyand, um, and I was, I was just
surrendering to the, the waythat it was, rather than the,
(30:15):
any kind of constructs aroundthe way that I thought it should
Leah (30:18):
Mm-hmm.
Willow (30:19):
you know?
And I think that
Leah (30:20):
Good point.
Willow (30:21):
One of the big things that holds us all back,
especially the youth, theyounger generation, it's like,
you know, there's so much doubtand uncertainty and like what,
what is right Anyway, in thisworld today with like all the
crazy mega changes that we'regoing through, you know.
The whole concept of right andwrong, that's why this like, you
(30:41):
know, dualistic like this orthat right or wrong, left or
right is kind of a prison toour, our our expression and our
truest essence.
Leah (30:51):
Yeah, well said.
Um, you know, there wassomething, uh, Esther Perel
spoke about it, and she wastalking about her parents who
were Holocaust survivors, andboth of her parents lost every
single member of their, of theirfamily.
They were the only ones thatsurvived.
And in this village that shelived in, in Belgium, it was
basically a community ofHolocaust survivors.
(31:12):
And she said there were twotypes.
There were those who did notdie, and then there were those
who, um like lived with avengeance because they survived.
They didn't die, they survived,and by God they were gonna make
this life count.
Willow (31:31):
They're gonna live.
Yeah,
Leah (31:33):
she goes, I feel very grateful that my parents.
She goes, you go over to yourfriend's parents and you could
tell which ones just didn't dieversus which ones were like, I
am gonna live.
Yes, I am gonna live witheverything I've got'cause
Willow (31:47):
God, that's deep.
Leah (31:49):
so deep and I
Willow (31:51):
fascinating.
That her
Leah (31:52):
right to live with a vengeance.
And I don't even know if thatwas the exact quote.
It might've been even somethinglike, I'm gonna have fun with a
vengeance or something like
Willow (32:00):
probably live
Leah (32:01):
yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Something about like usingthose, that language together
that may be like, yes, I wantthat too.
I want the next 40 years I haveon this planet hopefully to be
filled with life, not just, um,humdrum.
Here we go.
I where, where I'm spending mydays going, God, I wish I didn't
(32:22):
have to do that.
God, I wish I didn't have to dothat.
God, I wish I didn't have to goto this appointment.
God, I wish I didn't have tohave this phone call.
God, I wish, da, da, da, da, dada.
So I could just sit around itinstead, I want, I get to be on
this phone call.
I get to have this appointment.
I get to sit in my backyard, um,and, and enjoy it all, you know,
(32:43):
live it all.
God,
Willow (32:46):
Guess what?
I'm
Leah (32:47):
needed that wake up call.
I.
Willow (32:48):
Guess what I'm gonna get to do this morning?
I went and checked out this, um,place that I'm gonna stay in
September, which is on thisproperty.
Okay, here, here's a little funstory, example of, you know,
changing your perspective andcalling in the magic.
So one morning I woke up in my,you know, Santa Barbara
beautiful house, the mostbeautiful house I've ever lived
(33:09):
in.
However, I live with a totalcuckoo bird and we
Leah (33:12):
A monster.
I think we, I think cuckoo birdsmight even be nicer than this
person.
Willow (33:17):
She's a monster.
So we're both, you know, movingout at the end of August.
Hallelujah.
Thank God.
And so I have to find a place tolive for just the month of
September, because then I'mgoing to Europe for like six
weeks, right?
So I don't wanna just rentanother place right away.
So I've, I was like, woke upwith that kind of heavy feeling
of what you're talking about,humdrum.
(33:37):
Here we go.
What's gonna, how am I gonnafind, what am I gonna look for?
You know, I got so much on myplate, plus now finding a place
and moving.
And so I take river for a walkon the beach and it's super
early in the morning it andthere's this waterway, you have
to walk through the waterway toget to a certain side of the
beach, which I generally don'twalk through'cause I don't like
(33:58):
to get my feet wet and cold andsandy.
So, but this morning I was like,okay, no, I'm gonna do it.
Getting cold, wet, sandy feet.
Here we go, walked through and Iwent down to the side of the
beach that I love and I walkeddown to the very end and
nobody's on the beach.
Perfect, glorious Santa Barbaramorning.
I get to the end and, and as I'mwalking this whole time, I'm
like, okay, I need some magictoday.
(34:21):
And, and I know from all the JoeDispenza work that I've done,
like, if you want magic, yougotta be the magic baby.
So I was like, okay, here I go.
I'm do all my practices and I'mwalking and I'm pulling the
magic up.
And I know how to be the magic.
I'm gonna be the magic by thetime I get to the end of this
beach where there is not asingle soul on the beach, this
woman comes out of the rocks,like literally appears out of
(34:45):
the rocks, right?
And so then we strike up aconversation and I'm like, I'm
just gonna ask her, Hey, do youknow anywhere to rent around
here?
Turns out they're, they'rebuilding like a tiny home on
their property, which is rightthere on the cliffs, on my
favorite beach of all time.
And so I'm probably gonna moveinto their tiny home once it's
built and done and ready.
(35:06):
Um, but they're still buildingit.
But today I went over, I'm like,and she's like, you could stay
in our, our, our motor home.
It's super nice in the month ofSeptember.
So I went and looked at themotor home.
Today I am like, it is so cute.
It's just adorable.
It has a little fire pitoutside, little two chairs.
It's right on the beach.
And like, we literally walklike, don't even get in the car.
Now we're just on the beach.
Leah (35:27):
wow.
Willow (35:28):
I went and saw that today.
So like, it's just such atestament to we can create our
own magic.
Here's an, you know, here'sanother inspir inspirational
story.
I just got off a, a call with acouple, they've been together
for 32 years.
They, they came from our summit.
The Leah's gonna talk to themlater this week, 32 years.
(35:48):
They've got kids.
They are in a whole newmarriage, having the best sex of
their life.
They're in their sixties andthey're just, he was so cute.
He's like, yeah, I finally foundmy woman after like 30 years.
You know, it's just such atestament to like the
perspective shift that ispossible when we just do it,
Leah (36:08):
Right.
God, that is so inspiring.
Yeah.
Well, so you might be askingyourself, what does this
conversation have to do withre-imagining sex?
Willow (36:19):
All kinds.
Leah (36:20):
All kinds.
All kinds, because sex weavesinto everything
Willow (36:24):
Hmm.
Leah (36:25):
and how we look at our neighbors, I think can improve
our sex life.
How we look at the food that weeat, I think can improve our sex
life.
How much exercise we get eachweek, it can improve our sex
life.
The kinds of conversations wehave with our neighbors can
improve our sex life because itimproves our mindset.
It improves how we look atourselves and the world and how
(36:45):
we wanna be connected to it.
And when we feel connected tolife and to the universe, and to
the world and to ourcommunities, we have an ability
to connect to our partner on aprofound and deeper level
because we're showing up.
If we can show up out there in astrong way, then who we get to
(37:06):
be and our most importantrelationships, um, ends up being
limitless.
Willow (37:12):
Yeah, absolutely.
Leah (37:14):
So.
Yeah,
Willow (37:16):
to be.
Leah (37:17):
I'm looking forward to greeting my husband with more of
myself so that he gets to bewith Leah, um, hopefully more
and more each day in this comingyear that's less like whiny and
complaining about all the thingsshe has to do.
You know, he's, I think we'reboth gonna enjoy the version of
(37:38):
her, this
Willow (37:38):
I, I think so.
I'm excited for her too.
Leah (37:41):
Yeah, so hopefully that inspires all of you out there.
Remember that we love havingthis conversation offline.
You know, we love having thisconversation in these little,
um, chat threads and, um, wehope that if you enjoyed this
conversation, that you sharethis episode with someone else
who might enjoy it.
Willow (38:02):
Yeah, absolutely.
And do let us know in thecomments what you are doing to
build community, what you aredoing to create more poetry and
more connection and moreartistry in your life, because
that's gonna inspire not onlyus, but everyone else who's
tuning in as well.
Leah (38:18):
Yeah.
Okay.
Love, love, love.
Announcer (38:21):
Thanks for tuning in.
This episode was hosted byTantric Sex Master Coach and
positive psychology facilitator,Leah Piper, as well as by
Chinese and Functional Medicinedoctor and Taoist Taxology
teacher, Dr.
Willow Brown.
Don't forget your comments, likesubscribes and suggestions
matter.
Let's realize this new worldtogether.
What if your life wasn't meant to be managed, but
designed like a masterpiece in aworld that worships
productivity?
We've forgotten the Sacred Artof Living.
We've traded the wildness forefficiency, beauty for
convenience, aliveness forautopilot.
But what if your day could feellike a love poem to your soul?
(00:25):
What if pleasure, presence, andpurpose weren't luxuries?
But your actual baseline.
In today's episode, we're divinginto the artistry of epic
living.
How to reclaim your life as asensual, sacred, fully expressed
creation.
We'll explore the practices,perspectives, and energetic
shifts that help you break freefrom the grind and step into the
(00:46):
life that turns you on.
Leah (00:48):
Wow, yummy, y'all.
My name is Leah Piper.
I am with the beautiful Dr.
Willow Brown.
We are the co-host of the SexReimagined podcast.
Willow (00:58):
That's right, bitches
Leah (00:59):
this is an LX W episode, so you better tune in, turn on,
Willow (01:04):
and fall in love with us.
Announcer (01:08):
Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is
shame-free and pleasure forward.
Let's get into the show.
Leah (01:17):
Well, I'm just kind of ready to dig into this topic
with you.
Um, there's been a lot on mymind.
I think part of this is comingfrom being in the day to day, a
little bored, a little sick ofthe routine.
I am a wander lust.
I am, uh, I don't know.
Sometimes I think, oh, it's,it's because I've been in a
(01:39):
long-term relationship for solong or it's'cause we're at a
standstill'cause Matt's gotthese surgeries he has to do and
so life has just gotten smallerand now I'm getting older.
So everything's been affected byperimenopause and going like,
uh, I'm, I'm entering middleage.
That means half my life has beenlived and now I've got this
(02:00):
other half and I better make itcount.
And so when I look at like thenews and what's happening in
social media and in our lives,I'm like, technology is so, it's
so front and center.
I'm so sick to death of thetechnology conversation.
Um.
I'm so sick of algorithms and Ifeel hungry for like the poetry
(02:25):
of life.
I feel like if we, I'm a littlenervous about the future.
I'm a little nervous aboutfuture generations.
It's like everything is sotechnology based that I feel
like we're getting isolated andour worlds are getting smaller
and we're forgetting about like,oh wait, no, I wanna live the
poetry of life.
I don't wanna live thetechnology of life, but, it's
(02:46):
not either or is it?
I don't need it to be either or.
I want it to be an and, but I'mafraid we're gonna lose the art
of life and the love of life andthe connection between others
with all this technology mayhem.
Willow (02:59):
Oh my gosh, I can relate.
I had to do a digital detoxyesterday and missed some
appointments because of it, youknow, just like couldn't catch
it all.
And I think it's reallyimportant to, um, maintain a
balance for yourself.
I mean, the, the world is gonnago where the world's gonna go,
and AI is definitely taking usin a whole new direction,
(03:20):
especially in regards tosexuality.
And, um, I think we have to kindof like keep dropping back into
our own nervous systems andfinding that place inside of
ourselves where we can, um, youknow, becoming too.
The coming back to the computeror back to the phone or back to
(03:41):
technology with energy, if we'recoming to it drained, we're just
gonna get more drained.
So it's really important, Ithink, to do digital detox days
or hours at a time if possible.
Leah (03:53):
Yes, and look at what all of this technology's been aiming
to do for the last, you know,decade or more, is it's to make
life easier.
It's to save us time.
It's all about saving us timeand being more efficient,
efficiency, time saving,efficiency.
Time saving, do more, get moredone, be more successful.
You know, like, hum many thingsyou knock off on your list
(04:15):
today.
So it's, it's kind of a paradoxbecause on the one hand it's
exhausting.
On the other hand, it's a job isto give you more freedom.
And this is where I waslistening to Esther Perel, um,
today, and, and one of thethings that she said that really
struck me was like, we've neverbeen more free
Willow (04:35):
Ahuh.
Leah (04:35):
and in the freedom we've never been so alone.
Willow (04:40):
Right, because it's,
Leah (04:41):
there's so many decisions to make in the freedom where
before when you have lessfreedom, some decisions are
being made for you,
Willow (04:49):
right.
Leah (04:50):
and those are
Willow (04:51):
gonna go, yeah, it's either you're.
Yeah, you're either gonna goleft or right, and now it's like
you could go up, down, left,right, front, back, side to
side.
And it is, um, creating a lotof, uh, I think the, the level
of freedom that you're talkingabout, where it's like we have
so many choices.
If we look at the dating appworld, it's like, oh, I, I
(05:11):
didn't like the way that persondrove, or I didn't like the way
that person sipped their wine orwhatever.
These tiny little things thatyou don't dig deeper with people
where it's so easy to just swipeonto the next person and move on
to the next date.
right now we're seeing this, youknow, this current generation
of, of young people who are nothaving the same social
(05:34):
interactions.
They're not having the samesexual encounters that, you
know, we were having when wewere their age, because there
is, they don't know how torelate.
Like they've been relating to ascreen.
Leah (05:45):
I think it might be different than that.
I think it's that they'reindifferent.
Maybe that's because they don'tknow how to relate.
But is that, I really wonder ifthat's true.
Is it really that it's'causethey dunno how to relate?
Or is it just that they werejust raised differently?
I mean, you and I weren't raisedwith computers or even
high-speed internet.
You know, remember dial up.
Willow (06:04):
Right.
Leah (06:05):
remember call waiting
Willow (06:06):
I remember flip phones.
Yeah.
Leah (06:09):
And wired telephones.
Like we had, we had these giantlong, um, lines of telephone
wire so that
Willow (06:15):
curly wire.
Leah (06:16):
into the dining room or into the living room or into the
kitchen.
Willow (06:20):
Totally.
Yeah.
It's just a different way ofbeing raised in a different
world and yeah, I do think thatthat freedom that we have now of
like so many options and so manychoices and so many different
directions that we could chooseto go kind of freezes a lot of
people up.
You know, I've definitely beenthere where I'm like, fuck, I
just can't decide.
I, you know, you get to thispoint of decision fatigue where
(06:42):
you're just exhausted fromtrying to decide which way to
put your energy.
And um.
I was talking with, uh, who'sthat?
I was at a party the other nightand I was talking to someone
about our summit that we justdid recently, and I was like, oh
my God, the information wasamazing.
Like, you know, there was allthese different speakers
speaking about how to haveharder cocks, you know, in the
(07:04):
morning and how to, you know, itfemale sexual psychology and
also the astrology of sexualityand just like kind.
And she was like, wow, wow.
That all sounds so fascinating.
And a little bit of an olderwoman, she's like, and I just,
there's so much information outthere right now, you know, I
could just see the overwhelm inher eyes, just hearing about it.
Much less like signing on,logging on and actually watching
(07:27):
it, you know?
Leah (07:28):
Yeah.
You know something even justlike beyond sex, but like
connections with community andfriends.
Like before Uber, you asked yourfriends to take you to the
airport.
You know, it's like taxis werekind of expensive in a luxury.
So it was like you relied onyour neighbors, you relied on a
good friend or a family memberto say, Hey, I need a ride to
(07:49):
the airport.
Now.
Everyone's like, I can't bebothered to take you to the
airport.
You know, just get a fuckingUber.
And I'm like, there's a part ofit that's like, that's so fucked
up.
So even, even if you are like,oh God, I don't wanna do this
friend a favor.
You end up getting in the car.
You pick up your friend, youride'em to the airport, you end
up having a really coolconversation and you, you leave
the airport feeling
Willow (08:09):
Feeling good?
Leah (08:10):
your friend more,
Willow (08:11):
totally.
Leah (08:12):
you're not disappointed.
You spent that.
45 minutes or maybe two hours orhowever long it takes to drop
somebody you care about off atthe airport.
You feel nourished by thatfucking car ride.
And I just think, I think theseare the things we actually have
to like take a pause and go, wein this rush to save time.
(08:35):
To not be inconvenienced.
We are robbing ourselves ofconnection.
We're robbing ourselves ofcommunity, and we are, our lives
are getting kind of smaller andlonelier even if we live with
people.
Willow (08:47):
Right.
Leah (08:48):
And I'm a little discouraged by that.
It's like, I wanna, I wanted totalk about this'cause I'm like,
you guys, let's wake up.
Let's, let's recenter, uh, let'snot lose touch with what gives
our lives, meaning, connection,and purpose.
And we're about to head into acrazy future where a lot of that
(09:09):
stuff is gonna be done withoutour input.
We've got so many industriesthat are gonna be, um, operated
by ai,'cause AI's gonna do itbetter.
I mean, look at copywritingright now.
Willow (09:23):
Right.
Leah (09:23):
You know, writing books, I mean, people are gonna have an
idea and then they just spout itinto ai and then AI's gonna
write it a thousand times betterthan they ever could.
Willow (09:31):
Totally.
Leah (09:32):
Hopefully we'll still buy those books and read them.
I don't know.
Um, photography's about to go,uh, out the window.
Hopefully not artisticphotography.
Willow (09:41):
Right.
Leah (09:42):
but I mean, all the video stuff, the way they do movies,
everything's gonna change.
And I'm a big believer inchange.
I'm not one of those people thathates change.
I really embrace change.
Um,
Willow (09:56):
We just need to, we need to slow ourselves down through
the change because the change isnot gonna go slow.
Right.
It's already is not going slow.
It's going very fast.
And so we have to, um, takeresponsibility for our own
pacing through it all.
And, uh, listen, this is where,you know, this is where these
(10:17):
ancient Tantric practices comeinto very handy is like, we're,
you know, you and I are so adeptat listening.
To our nervous assistance andlistening to our bodies and
listening to the moment.
And so many of our listeners aregreat at listening too, you
know?
And so, um, I think that's,that's the thing that you have
to do.
Like yesterday, I was like, Ijust cannot open my computer.
(10:38):
Like it's just not gonna happen.
I'm just gonna take the wholeday off.
I'm not gonna open it at all.
And I felt so much better, somuch more renewed.
I came, I was like, ready to gotoday.
You know?
And so sometimes it, it doesn'thave to take a lot to find the
balance.
It just requires focus andconnection.
Just like sexuality, like justlike, you know, turning on new
(11:01):
levels of arousal.
It doesn't have to be hard, itdoesn't have to take a lot.
It just requires focus andattention.
Leah (11:07):
You know, Matt and I did something fun this weekend, and
it's probably gonna sound soboring.
Um, but, uh, I don't know.
My mother-in-law was visitingand she ended up pulling off on
some suburb of Sacramento, um,and she was like, oh, this place
is really cute.
You guys should check it out.
So we drove 30 minutes away.
Willow (11:26):
Mm-hmm.
Leah (11:27):
To a suburb of Sacramento.
We drove around the little town.
We started feeling a littlepeckish.
So I was in the mood for Indian,so I searched for Indian.
It was five minutes away,
Willow (11:39):
Nice.
Leah (11:40):
we just checked out this little town, you know, and we
listened to a podcast.
We had interesting conversationas a result of the podcast.
We had a nice dinner and we justtook a around and said, oh look,
that new subdivision, I don'tlike that one.
It's got, the trees are allyoung, but I love that old girl
subdivision.
That's where I would wanna live,you know?
And, and then last night we satdown and did some Yab Yum.
(12:04):
knows what that is.
It's a type of, um, it's a, it'sTantric love making position or
a meditation position.
You don't have to have sex forthis position, but you're
sitting in a stride.
Um, come to one of our classes,we'll teach you all about it.
And, um, and it was just sosweet, you know, and we just sat
there and he was like nibblingon my neck and I'm giggling and
um, you know, he is kind ofrubbing my yoni.
(12:26):
I've got panties on.
He doesn't like go in oranything, but like, I reached so
many fun, joyous states of justconnection and pleasure and kind
of silliness.
And I just, and I knew that thathappened because we did this
little subdivision tour, othertown, you know, it was like
(12:47):
doing something new, created it,a little bit of closeness, and
we didn't just spend a lot ofmoney to just drive down to
another subdivision to take apeek.
Willow (12:55):
Exactly, and I think it's gay and Katie Hendricks,
who's who talk about the patterninterrupt.
Like, not, not just like the,the big life pattern interrupt,
like go on a vacation, but youknow, throughout the day, like,
do something out of the norm,like sleep on the other side of
the bed or, or walk down thehallway differently or, you
know, um, instead of like.
(13:15):
Pecking your, your partner whenyou walk through the door, you
know, give them a big juicy hugand a giant kiss, you know, or
just whatever.
Just changing it up.
It's, we, it's so easy to getinto routine, especially in
relationships and especiallyaround sexuality that, you know,
it's sometimes having those,those adventures like you guys
(13:36):
had yesterday can like totallyshift the dynamic in the home
space too, which I think is sogreat.
Leah (13:44):
Yeah, and it was really interesting to do something just
simple but out of the ordinary.
And then the next day that ledto more connection, more
presence.
Him and I both love to like goto bed and read a book, you
know?
Um, but guess what?
We still went to bed and readthe book, but we added, you
(14:05):
know, 25 minutes of just reallybeing with each other and look
into each other's eyes andlaughing and giggling and
pleasuring.
And it didn't lead to anythingother than, God, I fucking love
you.
I'm so grateful.
You're in my life.
We need more of this.
And we really talked about howimportant having something new
is to like refresh ourconnection because we just get
(14:28):
in the habit of just doing thesame old thing.
And um so I look forward toseeing what we're gonna do
today.
That's a little new.
And I think for us, we neededsomething that's a little more
time consuming than just let megreet you at the door with a
kiss, because that's also turnedinto a habit,
Willow (14:46):
Right,
Leah (14:47):
you
Willow (14:47):
Anything that turns into a habit, you need something
else.
Right.
You need something different.
Yeah.
Leah (14:53):
And that's kind of what I mean by like leaning into the
poetry of life.
I think like when we go out andwe engage, whether that's just
with our partner, but hopefullylike I want this to be, I want
to expand this outside of justsexual relationships.
Like I know that I need to startengaging in a more intentional
way with community at large.
(15:15):
I think sometimes I resist that.
I don't know why.
It feels like another thing Ihave to be responsible for.
And I think that's where themindset shift has to be in
place.
Like, um, Esther was talkingabout like, people need to come
over those people you love tosing.
You know, I have heard you, whenyou go and go to like a singing
event, like a kurtan orsomething, you come back
(15:36):
nourished, replenished probablyin a way that's even more
significant than if you werejust singing at home by
yourself.
Willow (15:42):
Way more.
Leah (15:42):
And I feel that way about going to a comedy show,
Willow (15:45):
Yeah.
Great.
Leah (15:46):
get to like laugh with other people and we're all
having an interconnectedexperience, which means we're
listening to someone on stage,share something and we're all
experiencing the consequence ofwhat they're sharing through
laughter.
You know, so there's aninterconnected play that's
happening, um, and it doesn'trequire us to have a
(16:07):
conversation, but we're stillhaving a shared experience.
Willow (16:10):
Right, exactly.
Yeah.
Community.
I mean, think about how likelong before screens and cell
phones and Instagram, what didwe do?
We sat around the fire and wesang together, or we laughed
together, or we danced together.
Like we were always in, incommunity.
We were always in interactionwith each other.
We're tribal people.
We're a tribal culture.
(16:32):
Now, currently living in boxes,driving in boxes, and talking to
each other through littlehandheld boxes, you know, we're,
we're all boxed up.
And
Leah (16:40):
right.
Willow (16:40):
it's really like, yeah, it's very isolating and it's,
it's, it's not our natural stateand so it takes a toll on our
bodies.
It takes a toll on our nervoussystem.
And, um, that's why it's soimportant that we get out into
nature every day that we dosomething different, that we get
into community, that we laughwith other people, we cry with
(17:01):
other people.
We just like connect and touchpeople who are not our partner.
Even, you know, even if you'relike in a, in a partnership and
you're getting some touch athome, it's still so good to go
cuddle with a girlfriend, youknow, at a, on the couch at her
house or at a kurtan party thingor
Leah (17:18):
Well, I mean even like back in the day when we were
growing up, like, what was ontelevision, you know, like you
sat down and you watched theshow regardless of whether you
were interested in the show,your family was watching the
show.
So you watch the show, youcould've been bored, you know,
but you, you hung out.
That's what there was to do.
There weren't all thesethousands of options on our
(17:40):
phones where we end up isolatingourselves from the other people
in the room and we're havingthis solo experience of
entertainment instead of havinga shared experience of
entertainment.
And I think we're losingsomething as a result of like,
you know, we basically havecomputers in our pocket.
And I'm not gonna stop using thecomputer
Willow (18:02):
Of
Leah (18:02):
You know what I mean?
I'm
Willow (18:03):
not what this is about.
Leah (18:04):
that.
Um, but it's about how can wejust start turning towards, on
either side of us and noticelike what is there.
And one of the things I've beendoing is, um, I've been going to
this, uh, Buddhist center herelocally and on Wednesdays and
Thursday nights.
Wednesday nights is a refugenight.
And those.
Those are people who are, um,working with addiction.
(18:26):
I actually really love those.
I'm not really battling with anybig addictions or anything, but
I'm actually really enjoyingthose evenings quite a bit.
Um, there's a shared experienceof struggle and I can relate to
that even if I'm not in like,
Willow (18:40):
You had addictions in the past.
Yeah.
So you
Leah (18:43):
thousand.
Yeah.
And I will probably have more inthe future that come and go
depending on what I'm trying torun away from.
Willow (18:49):
Right, right,
Leah (18:50):
But, uh, you know, they do this little reading.
Um, there was this one woman theother night who opened it up
after 20 minutes of meditationand she just shared her story of
her path with meditation andshe, she lived in Santa Cruz the
same time I lived in Santa Cruz.
She went to the, um, insightSanta Cruz, which is the
Buddhist community there when wedid.
So our paths were probablyparallel and it was just lovely
(19:14):
to hear her journey as someonejust sharing their life, a
stranger sharing her life.
And I had seen her every timeI'd gone.
So it was wonderful to likelisten to her speak for 25
minutes about her journey.
And we all felt like we knew herafter her share, you know, and
it was, now it's just gonna beeven more comfortable when I
(19:35):
walk in the room and I say hi toher.
Um, so there's somethingcommunity
Willow (19:40):
Community people.
More community.
Leah (19:43):
and there's something to be said about community that's
in person.
Willow (19:46):
Absolutely
Leah (19:47):
know, I think, I think the reason why this feels so
critical for me at this time inmy life is since moving to
California, um, what, 16 yearsnow?
Um, from Oregon.
I never have had since livinghere, like a super core group of
homey friends.
Every other iteration whereverI've lived in the past, I always
(20:09):
had my
Willow (20:10):
that.
Leah (20:10):
Now everyone is dispersed.
Willow (20:12):
Right,
Leah (20:13):
So I'm in connection, but not like in person.
You know, you and I visit witheach other almost every day, but
we're not in the same town.
We're not running the errands tohomegoods.
Willow (20:25):
I wish we were, because yesterday I had to go shopping
and I was like, fuck, I wishLeah was here.
And I had like threegirlfriends.
I was like, I wish thisgirlfriend, that girlfriend, and
Leah (20:34):
Well, I was
Willow (20:34):
go shopping with me.
I know you did help me.
Actually, I got some really cuteoutfits I gotta show
Leah (20:40):
Oh, great.
Willow (20:41):
video shoot.
But, um, anyway, I, yeah, it'sjust, I know it's hard being in
a, in a new place without yourgirlfriends.
Uh, I think you should move toSanta Barbara.
Leah (20:51):
Yeah, I know.
I've been thinking about like,what would it be like to
downsize and have spend lessmoney and do more other things,
more experiential things insteadof having things, having
experiences.
That's another thing I'm.
On my mind.
(21:11):
So I'm really curious from ouraudience, like
Willow (21:15):
What are some
Leah (21:16):
do you guys
Willow (21:16):
you like to do?
Yeah.
Tell us In the, in the comments.
Leah (21:20):
And like what are you worried about as AI takes over
our life and how do you managedecision fatigue?
Because decision fatigue is ourreal thing.
Willow (21:32):
Yeah.
Leah (21:33):
Um, and.
How can we slow down and invitemore connection?
Because someone's gonna have tolead this.
And if you're listening, I'minviting you to lead it.
I'm inviting myself to lead itbecause waiting around for
someone else to tell us how todo this, we're, we're gonna be
(21:54):
in a worse off place if we'rewaiting someone else to solve
this problem of, you know,loneliness versus connection.
Willow (22:02):
Well, let's talk too a little bit about how do you
think that this, you know, um,very fast-paced digital world
is, uh, depleting people's, um,relationship to their own
sexuality and their curiosityabout exploring it with others?
Leah (22:23):
I think the big thing is we're getting numbed out.
So we're losing touch with beingsort of in our emotional body,
which is where con that's whyconnection feels so good is
'cause it actually brings youinto your emotional body.
It, it gives you a feeling ofwellbeing
Willow (22:40):
like medicine,
Leah (22:41):
and sometimes we're like, sometimes we shun emotions as if
like they're the bad thing when,so the alternative is like,
what?
So we're just like gonna numbout and not feel anything at
all.
Um, I think emotion is whatbrings the variety and the juice
to life.
And let's not run away fromthat.
Let's actually be really, reallypresent to that and let's seek
(23:01):
out feeling great with otherpeople.
You know, I,
Willow (23:07):
Hallelujah.
Leah (23:09):
I'm, I'm working out with a girlfriend and with a personal
trainer and I'm like, so gladwe're doing
Willow (23:14):
Oh, that's fun.
Leah (23:15):
Yeah, and I'm getting, I can feel myself getting
stronger.
I, and not that I feel likesomeone's pushing me, but she's
inspiring me to like, increasemy weight and increase my reps,
my reps.
And so like every week I'm, I'mstaying at the gym longer when
I'm working out on my own.
Um, and like, so I can, so Ifeel this sense of vi vibrancy
and like resilience and, youknow, you and I just kind of
(23:37):
have gone through sort of astressful period, uh, with
business, um, launches and stufflike that.
And, and I feel like I'mstarting, like, I'm like, oh, I
need an attitude change aroundall of this.
I'm sick of feeling like thesethings are a burden versus
something to be completelyinspired about like, I can't
wait to be live with people.
(23:59):
Like I can't wait for this tripto Greece.
And the people who are comingare like the absolute right
people for this experience, andwe're gonna go so deep with them
and I'm gonna feel a part ofmyself that maybe I haven't been
in touch with and I can't waitto touch that part of myself
again.
And I know I will, because theperfect people are registered
(24:20):
and um, and there's gonna beeven more people who register.
And so if you feel the callYeah, I'm talking to you baby.
Willow (24:28):
Come to Greece.
I'm so excited.
Yeah.
In fact, I was, um, I've beenstudying Greek mythology.
We both have in different ways.
You're listening to a book andI'm watching this really cool
series on, I don't know where Ifound it on Amazon or something.
But anyway, it's just, it'sreally, you know, speaking of
getting back to poetry andgetting back to like the, the
(24:48):
Song of Life and the art ofliving The art of life, you
know, like the Greeks, man, theywere, they were all about it.
And the, the stories of
Leah (24:58):
they were all about sex
Willow (24:59):
They were all about sex.
Yeah.
They really were.
They really weren't holding backon that shit.
It was great.
And so it's just so cool tolike, you know, see like how the
ancient cultures and to bringsome of that into our modern
culture.
Like we can bring, and that's,you know, that's what we do is
(25:20):
we bring this, these ancientsexual, sacred sexual techniques
to modern day people.
But you know, we can also bringso much more of, of what
sensuality and what sexualityis.
I mean, eating an orange couldbe the most sensual thing you do
that day if you open yourself upto that.
(25:40):
Right?
I know Leah loves oranges.
You know what she does?
She puts them in therefrigerator so that the skin
gets hard around them, and then,and then she eats them and they
like crunch.
Yeah, that is quite good.
Leah (25:56):
yeah.
Um, you know, it's interestingback to poetry because I'm
actually, I don't really lovepoetry as like an actual thing.
Um, but I love the art of lifeand I love the meaning of what
poetry is.
But, you know, funny enough, um,I went to the local dungeon here
in Sacramento called TheBattery.
And it was great.
(26:17):
I've been meaning to kind ofcheck it out and they had a
poetry night and that was whatwe were attending.
'cause I was supporting a newfriend and she was putting it on
and oh God, she had a greatname.
Um, it'll probably come back tome.
It was wonderful.
It was lovely listening topeople's raunchy poetry and even
like, and the one person, um,read, uh, some famous author who
(26:40):
I think wrote some famous bookfrom my, from
Willow (26:45):
some famous time.
Leah (26:46):
ago, know, um, I think he was an Irish, an Irish bloke.
And, um,
Willow (26:53):
Probably
Leah (26:54):
anyways, so him and his wife were, would, would write
these dirty letters to each
Willow (26:59):
Oh,
Leah (27:00):
she wrote one of, she read one of the dirty letters.
It was my favorite reading ofthe night.
It
Willow (27:06):
oh.
That's
Leah (27:07):
So like you didn't have to read your own poetry, you could
read anything.
Yeah.
The naughtier the better.
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'll definitely go back andI'll prepare something, you
know, like another reason tolike be in community and play
with artistic expression.
Willow (27:24):
and write a poem.
I used to write poems all thetime.
I had
Leah (27:29):
You seem like the poet type for
Willow (27:31):
of poetry.
By the time I got outta high
Leah (27:34):
Look at you're a good poet.
Willow (27:35):
It was a great
Leah (27:36):
Yeah.
Willow (27:37):
I am a great poet.
I just haven't written any in solong.
But yeah, it would be good.
It would be fun for me to dothat Again, I used to be very
artistic too.
I would like make littlepaintings around my poems and
things.
I mean,
Leah (27:50):
Well, this is where I think this is a very interesting
phenomenon because this is wherepeople would go to church.
And there would be an outlet.
People come together, there's aninterconnected experience.
You, every weekend you couldlook forward to it.
You would catch up with yourneighbors and you took time out
it.
And it's not like it produced agiant result.
(28:12):
It was like, yeah, you prayedtogether.
You might have sing together.
You might, you know, and so, andwe don't have that so much.
I mean, religion has, thestatistics are dropping down
every single year.
People aren't called to that theway they used to be, but we're
missing something by missingthat.
So I think for us to still havea place to gather and be in a
(28:34):
group without like this giantpurpose, like it's gonna produce
a giant result, it's just, it'skind of like.
You come together and you go tothe park and you just watch the
kids play, or you eat a picnic.
Willow (28:44):
Right.
Leah (28:45):
it's not producing a result or achieving a goal.
But I think what it does is itallows us to come together and
maybe dream together.
Willow (28:53):
Totally.
Which totally enhances your,your sensuality and your
sexuality.
It like stimulates places inyour brain that stimulate places
in your body that you wantstimulated.
Leah (29:04):
Well, yeah, it increases wellbeing and when you feel
good, you
Willow (29:07):
so crucial.
Leah (29:08):
you know, maybe get your body next to somebody else's
body and feel even better.
Willow (29:12):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I mean, dance is a reallybeautiful way to get into your
body and to be in community.
You know, they have all these,um, like ecstatic dances all
over Santa Barbara, and I'vegone to some of them.
Um, and it's just fun to like,see people be in their fullest
expression, you know?
(29:33):
And, and like that, I thinkthat's one of the things that we
love about the arts is it'slike.
It's so inspiring because it'slike that's somebody's
expression, like that's what'sin somebody's heart.
And I think we get kind of stuckon like, well, there's gotta be
a right way to do that.
There's gotta be a right way toexpress.
I don't know if I'm doing itright.
(29:53):
I don't know if I could get upand speak my poem to the group
at the dungeon.
You know, I don't know if Icould get on the dance floor and
move my body in the way thatfeels right for me.
I don't, am I doing it right?
And, and so anyway.
That kind of came through for melast night.
I was having a very deep journeyand, um, and I was, I was just
surrendering to the, the waythat it was, rather than the,
(30:15):
any kind of constructs aroundthe way that I thought it should
Leah (30:18):
Mm-hmm.
Willow (30:19):
you know?
And I think that
Leah (30:20):
Good point.
Willow (30:21):
One of the big things that holds us all back,
especially the youth, theyounger generation, it's like,
you know, there's so much doubtand uncertainty and like what,
what is right Anyway, in thisworld today with like all the
crazy mega changes that we'regoing through, you know.
The whole concept of right andwrong, that's why this like, you
(30:41):
know, dualistic like this orthat right or wrong, left or
right is kind of a prison toour, our our expression and our
truest essence.
Leah (30:51):
Yeah, well said.
Um, you know, there wassomething, uh, Esther Perel
spoke about it, and she wastalking about her parents who
were Holocaust survivors, andboth of her parents lost every
single member of their, of theirfamily.
They were the only ones thatsurvived.
And in this village that shelived in, in Belgium, it was
basically a community ofHolocaust survivors.
(31:12):
And she said there were twotypes.
There were those who did notdie, and then there were those
who, um like lived with avengeance because they survived.
They didn't die, they survived,and by God they were gonna make
this life count.
Willow (31:31):
They're gonna live.
Yeah,
Leah (31:33):
she goes, I feel very grateful that my parents.
She goes, you go over to yourfriend's parents and you could
tell which ones just didn't dieversus which ones were like, I
am gonna live.
Yes, I am gonna live witheverything I've got'cause
Willow (31:47):
God, that's deep.
Leah (31:49):
so deep and I
Willow (31:51):
fascinating.
That her
Leah (31:52):
right to live with a vengeance.
And I don't even know if thatwas the exact quote.
It might've been even somethinglike, I'm gonna have fun with a
vengeance or something like
Willow (32:00):
probably live
Leah (32:01):
yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Something about like usingthose, that language together
that may be like, yes, I wantthat too.
I want the next 40 years I haveon this planet hopefully to be
filled with life, not just, um,humdrum.
Here we go.
I where, where I'm spending mydays going, God, I wish I didn't
(32:22):
have to do that.
God, I wish I didn't have to dothat.
God, I wish I didn't have to goto this appointment.
God, I wish I didn't have tohave this phone call.
God, I wish, da, da, da, da, dada.
So I could just sit around itinstead, I want, I get to be on
this phone call.
I get to have this appointment.
I get to sit in my backyard, um,and, and enjoy it all, you know,
(32:43):
live it all.
God,
Willow (32:46):
Guess what?
I'm
Leah (32:47):
needed that wake up call.
I.
Willow (32:48):
Guess what I'm gonna get to do this morning?
I went and checked out this, um,place that I'm gonna stay in
September, which is on thisproperty.
Okay, here, here's a little funstory, example of, you know,
changing your perspective andcalling in the magic.
So one morning I woke up in my,you know, Santa Barbara
beautiful house, the mostbeautiful house I've ever lived
(33:09):
in.
However, I live with a totalcuckoo bird and we
Leah (33:12):
A monster.
I think we, I think cuckoo birdsmight even be nicer than this
person.
Willow (33:17):
She's a monster.
So we're both, you know, movingout at the end of August.
Hallelujah.
Thank God.
And so I have to find a place tolive for just the month of
September, because then I'mgoing to Europe for like six
weeks, right?
So I don't wanna just rentanother place right away.
So I've, I was like, woke upwith that kind of heavy feeling
of what you're talking about,humdrum.
(33:37):
Here we go.
What's gonna, how am I gonnafind, what am I gonna look for?
You know, I got so much on myplate, plus now finding a place
and moving.
And so I take river for a walkon the beach and it's super
early in the morning it andthere's this waterway, you have
to walk through the waterway toget to a certain side of the
beach, which I generally don'twalk through'cause I don't like
(33:58):
to get my feet wet and cold andsandy.
So, but this morning I was like,okay, no, I'm gonna do it.
Getting cold, wet, sandy feet.
Here we go, walked through and Iwent down to the side of the
beach that I love and I walkeddown to the very end and
nobody's on the beach.
Perfect, glorious Santa Barbaramorning.
I get to the end and, and as I'mwalking this whole time, I'm
like, okay, I need some magictoday.
(34:21):
And, and I know from all the JoeDispenza work that I've done,
like, if you want magic, yougotta be the magic baby.
So I was like, okay, here I go.
I'm do all my practices and I'mwalking and I'm pulling the
magic up.
And I know how to be the magic.
I'm gonna be the magic by thetime I get to the end of this
beach where there is not asingle soul on the beach, this
woman comes out of the rocks,like literally appears out of
(34:45):
the rocks, right?
And so then we strike up aconversation and I'm like, I'm
just gonna ask her, Hey, do youknow anywhere to rent around
here?
Turns out they're, they'rebuilding like a tiny home on
their property, which is rightthere on the cliffs, on my
favorite beach of all time.
And so I'm probably gonna moveinto their tiny home once it's
built and done and ready.
(35:06):
Um, but they're still buildingit.
But today I went over, I'm like,and she's like, you could stay
in our, our, our motor home.
It's super nice in the month ofSeptember.
So I went and looked at themotor home.
Today I am like, it is so cute.
It's just adorable.
It has a little fire pitoutside, little two chairs.
It's right on the beach.
And like, we literally walklike, don't even get in the car.
Now we're just on the beach.
Leah (35:27):
wow.
Willow (35:28):
I went and saw that today.
So like, it's just such atestament to we can create our
own magic.
Here's an, you know, here'sanother inspir inspirational
story.
I just got off a, a call with acouple, they've been together
for 32 years.
They, they came from our summit.
The Leah's gonna talk to themlater this week, 32 years.
(35:48):
They've got kids.
They are in a whole newmarriage, having the best sex of
their life.
They're in their sixties andthey're just, he was so cute.
He's like, yeah, I finally foundmy woman after like 30 years.
You know, it's just such atestament to like the
perspective shift that ispossible when we just do it,
Leah (36:08):
Right.
God, that is so inspiring.
Yeah.
Well, so you might be askingyourself, what does this
conversation have to do withre-imagining sex?
Willow (36:19):
All kinds.
Leah (36:20):
All kinds.
All kinds, because sex weavesinto everything
Willow (36:24):
Hmm.
Leah (36:25):
and how we look at our neighbors, I think can improve
our sex life.
How we look at the food that weeat, I think can improve our sex
life.
How much exercise we get eachweek, it can improve our sex
life.
The kinds of conversations wehave with our neighbors can
improve our sex life because itimproves our mindset.
It improves how we look atourselves and the world and how
(36:45):
we wanna be connected to it.
And when we feel connected tolife and to the universe, and to
the world and to ourcommunities, we have an ability
to connect to our partner on aprofound and deeper level
because we're showing up.
If we can show up out there in astrong way, then who we get to
(37:06):
be and our most importantrelationships, um, ends up being
limitless.
Willow (37:12):
Yeah, absolutely.
Leah (37:14):
So.
Yeah,
Willow (37:16):
to be.
Leah (37:17):
I'm looking forward to greeting my husband with more of
myself so that he gets to bewith Leah, um, hopefully more
and more each day in this comingyear that's less like whiny and
complaining about all the thingsshe has to do.
You know, he's, I think we'reboth gonna enjoy the version of
(37:38):
her, this
Willow (37:38):
I, I think so.
I'm excited for her too.
Leah (37:41):
Yeah, so hopefully that inspires all of you out there.
Remember that we love havingthis conversation offline.
You know, we love having thisconversation in these little,
um, chat threads and, um, wehope that if you enjoyed this
conversation, that you sharethis episode with someone else
who might enjoy it.
Willow (38:02):
Yeah, absolutely.
And do let us know in thecomments what you are doing to
build community, what you aredoing to create more poetry and
more connection and moreartistry in your life, because
that's gonna inspire not onlyus, but everyone else who's
tuning in as well.
Leah (38:18):
Yeah.
Okay.
Love, love, love.
Announcer (38:21):
Thanks for tuning in.
This episode was hosted byTantric Sex Master Coach and
positive psychology facilitator,Leah Piper, as well as by
Chinese and Functional Medicinedoctor and Taoist Taxology
teacher, Dr.
Willow Brown.
Don't forget your comments, likesubscribes and suggestions
matter.
Let's realize this new worldtogether.
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