November 13, 2025 • 31 mins
🔗 Mentioned on this Episode: Show Notes 👈
This episode is an inside look at what happens when your message stops sounding like you. If you have ever spoken a line you have said for years and felt it fall flat in your own mouth, lean in. This conversation unpacks that quiet turning point in business when your identity evolves faster than your language, and your words no longer feel like a match for the leader you’ve become.
I share how this has shown up in my own life and in the lives of my clients, especially those crossing the six and multi six figure seasons of growth. There is a moment where your body knows before your mind does that your message needs to shift. Your energy changes. Your clarity changes. Your desires change. And your messaging needs to catch up. This is where true leadership begins, when you allow yourself to speak from the version of you who has been quietly waiting to take the mic.
If you are sensing a messaging disconnect, this episode will help you understand what is actually happening beneath the surface. It is not confusion and it is not regression. It is evolution. And the more permission you give yourself to speak from the truth you are living now, the more magnetic, clear, and aligned your business becomes. To support this deeper clarity, download your Vision Map, the tool that anchors every new season of your message and your mission.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sheila (00:02):
And I believe that's where true leadership comes in,
from authentic integration, thewillingness to live your message
before you publish it, thecourage to say, this is what's
real for me right now, even ifit's still unfolding.
If you've been in a messagingdisconnect lately, it might not
be about finding the new words.
It might be more about givingyourself permission to speak
(00:25):
from the version of you who'sbeen waiting patiently to take
the mic.
Hi, welcome to the podcast.
I'm Sheila Botelho, and Ibelieve true success is built
from the inside out.
Have you ever had that feelingthat something you've said a
hundred times suddenly doesn'tland anymore?
It's subtle at first.
(00:45):
Like maybe you're in aconversation with a client or
you're recording a piece ofcontent that you've shared for
years, and the words feel likean outfit that used to fit
perfectly, but now it's liketucking at your shoulders.
Something just feels off.
Well, I felt that way manytimes over the years, and it
used to bother me because for solong I believe that once you
(01:08):
find your message, you keep it.
Like a brand promise written instone.
But I've come to see that ourwords are living things.
They breathe with us, theystretch and contract as we do.
And when they start feeling toosmall, it's actually an
(01:29):
invitation to make a change.
Now I've watched this happen inmy own business, especially in
the last few years.
The conversations that once litme up started to feel flat.
The DMs coming in were stillkind and curious, but they
weren't from the people whotruly resonated with where I was
heading.
And that's when I knew mylanguage needed to evolve.
(01:51):
Because the message thatbrought me here isn't the one
that's going to carry me whereI'm going next.
What it feels like when yourold words stop working, it's
almost like walking into a roomthat you've rearranged, and
that's where I'm at right now,uh, in my home where I've just
moved into.
So you know everything in theroom, but you keep bumping into
(02:14):
the corners.
Oh my goodness, the bruises onmy legs right now, because your
body still remembers the oldlayout.
And with your words, you'resaying the familiar phrases, but
they don't open the same doorsanymore.
Your engagement may dip, ofcourse, but deeper than that,
your own energy dips.
That's what told me it was timeto listen.
(02:36):
Sometimes it looks likerealizing that the angle that
you've been taking isn'trelevant anymore.
A great example of this in ourworld is how much things have
changed since AI came onto thescene.
For years, people sold contentcreation as the hardest thing to
keep up with.
Now a lot of tactical load canbe supported by tools.
(02:58):
So the conversation isn't abouthow hard it is to create
content anymore.
It's about how to make yourmessage feel alive in a world
full of content.
That is a shift inconsciousness.
Other times, the signs arequieter.
Maybe you start attractingclients who aren't a full
energetic match for you anymore.
(03:19):
They're lovely, but the workfeels heavier than it should.
That's your signal that themessage you've been sharing is
still calibrated to an earlierversion of you.
You've outgrown the container.
And then there are times whenthe disconnect shows up in your
own body.
You finish a launch and insteadof feeling proud, you feel
(03:40):
really tired.
Or you reread your copy andthink, this used to sound like
me, but now it just sounds safe.
I've learned to honor thatmoment because every evolution
in my business has started rightthere in that gentle
restlessness that says, you'reready for a new layer of truth.
When my words stop working, Itake it as my cue to slow down
(04:05):
and listen underneath the noise.
And that is where claritystarts to whisper.
It's also how I know my messagehas evolved by how my body
reacts when I share it.
If I feel lit up, if myshoulders drop and my heart
expands, I know that I'maligned.
If I feel impatient, bored, orsecretly resentful when someone
(04:29):
responds, that's feedback.
Not about them at all.
It's about me.
Resentment I've found is asacred teacher.
It tells you where you'resaying yes to something your
soul has already outgrown.
When I started feeling thatedge, I know that my message was
moving on and it was time tocatch up to it.
(04:51):
Mentors and clients have beenmirrors for me in that process.
There's something powerfulabout being witnessed by people
who see your magic even when youforget that you have it in you.
And I have a few dear friendsthat I voice note with
regularly, other entrepreneurswho get it.
We talk strategy, life, family,everything.
(05:12):
And every so often, in atotally casual message, one of
them will stop me and say, Doyou realize what you just said?
That is big.
It's humbling because half thetime I don't realize it.
I'm just speaking from my truthin that moment, not trying to
teach anything.
But that's the beauty ofreflection.
Someone else catches thebrilliance you almost brushed
(05:36):
past.
And it goes both ways.
They'll be sharing somethingwith me about their day.
And I'll hear a line that landslike lightning, and I'll tell
them, wait, what you just said,write that down.
That's your next post, yournext chapter.
These changes that we find inthe exchanges that we have
(05:59):
remind me how often our mostresonant messages live in the
throwaway lines, the words wesay when we're not even trying.
Mentors help too becausethey've seen this cycle before.
They know how it feels to be inbetween languages, the old one
fading away and the new one notfully formed.
(06:21):
They hold you steady while youtranslate it all out.
And clients, well, they are theliving pulse of what wants to
come through you next.
Every question they ask, everymoment of confusion or
curiosity, and every time theyhave something to say about a
product that you've created andhow it's working or not working
(06:43):
in their day-to-day life,they're handing you the language
of your next season.
But my deepest clarity alwayscomes from my own reflections.
Surprise, surprise.
I have had breakthroughssitting at my desk.
That happens sometimes.
But the ones that changedeverything, they came on walks.
(07:04):
They came when I left my phonebehind or stuck it in airplane
mode and let the noise quietdown enough to hear myself
again.
Just the other day, beforeoutlining this episode, I caught
myself scrolling.
I was posting a reel, waitingfor it to upload as we do, and
the algorithm served me a feedfull of genuinely inspiring
(07:25):
content.
I am one of those people whocurates my feed so meticulously.
And beautiful people are doingsuch meaningful work.
But my energy was low at thetime.
It was the end of a worksession.
And as I watched, I startedfeeling that familiar wobble
that hasn't come up for a while.
Should I be doing that?
(07:46):
Maybe I should pivot like thisperson.
And the second I noticed it, Iclosed the app, I stood up, and
I walked outside because I knowthat voice.
That's not my intuition.
That is fatigue.
When I'm tired, everythingoutside of me looks shinier than
what's inside of me.
But when I rest, when I gethydrated and I move my body and
(08:09):
I come back to my own rhythm, mytruth resurfaces.
And that is why reflection is anon-negotiable for me.
My biggest breakthroughs,business, health, relationships,
my spiritual life, have come inmoments of solitude when I've
made space to listen and notscroll.
(08:30):
And what always amazes me ishow once I capture those
downloads, whether in a voicenote, a journal, or a typed
stream of consciousness, theyend up being exactly what my
community needs to hear.
And this isn't because Istrategized it, it's because I
lived it.
And that is the thread that Isee with my clients also.
(08:54):
The moment they stop trying tosound right and start sounding
real, like themselves,everything opens up.
Their messaging sharpens, theirmagnetism expands, and the
right clients appear.
When I think about how I'vepersonally navigated messaging
pivots, especially through thismove and the evolution of my
(09:16):
brand, I realize it's alwaysbeen a mix of letting go and
leaning in.
Moving homes has a funny way ofreflecting your business.
You touch every project, decideif it still belongs in your
next season, and bless what'sready to go, releasing it.
Words are no different.
During this move, I startedsharing a little more from my
(09:38):
personal world again, thestories, the shifts, the way
life behind the brand actuallyfeels.
And for a while, I'd keptthings mostly strategic,
focusing on frameworks andsystems, which is valuable, of
course, but missing some of thewarmth that people originally
connected to.
So I let the personal back in.
Not every detail, just enoughfor people to see the human in
(10:01):
the strategy.
And in doing that, somethingshifted.
The messages started landingdeeper again because people
don't follow you for yourpolish.
They follow you for yourperspective.
So when I think about thiswhole idea of messaging
disconnect, it really isn'tabout being off track.
It's about noticing that whoyou've become now carries a
(10:26):
different resonance than theversion of you who created the
last message.
The stories that once served asproof of what's possible are
still true, but they no longercapture the full range of what
you can see.
That's what happens as we grow.
Our perspective widens.
And when your perspectivewidens, your language must
(10:47):
expand with it.
The conversations you want tohave right now sit at a
different altitude.
They hold more nuance,especially now, more empathy,
more depth.
And it's not about rebrandingyourself, it's about tapping
into and remembering that truersound of your own voice.
I see it happen all the timewith women who come to me after
(11:11):
crossing the million-dollarmark.
They've mastered thestructures, they've got all the
funnels, the teams, et cetera.
And yet something in theirmessaging feels mechanical.
They'll say things like, Idon't know why the words aren't
landing anymore.
And I'll ask, when was the lasttime you said something you did
an edit first?
There's usually a pause andthen a laugh and often tears
(11:36):
because they realize it's beenmonths, maybe even years.
They've been performing theearlier version of their message
rather than speaking from thepresent one.
And that's where the vision mapalways comes in.
It's where you get to askyourself, what do I actually
want to be known for right nowin this season of my life?
(11:56):
Not what I promised five yearsago, not what my last program
sold, not what my last productwas, but what truth lives in me
today that's begging to bespoken.
When you map that vision out,clarity arrives.
And it isn't heavy.
It actually energizes you.
(12:16):
The old message feels likeobligation, and the new one is
like oxygen to your wholesystem.
Sometimes I'll sit with womenin that exact transition and
they'll worry that changingtheir words will confuse their
audience and they'll lose them.
And I totally get it becauseyou've spent years building
trust.
But what I've found is thatwhen your evolution is
(12:38):
authentic, when your audiencesees you for who you are, they
can feel it before you even sayit.
They actually anticipate it.
They're just waiting for you tocatch up.
And that's how I felt rightbefore shifting my brand into
what it is now.
The legacy framework startedforming before I even named it.
It was just a feeling at first,a sense, usually on a walk that
(13:01):
came to me, that everything Iwas teaching about business
growth needed to be rooted moredeeply in purpose.
So I started asking differentquestions.
Like, what if success wasn'tjust about scaling revenue, but
about expanding integrity?
And what if the real mark ofgrowth was how aligned you feel
(13:22):
in your daily life?
And as I started living thosequestions, the framework
revealed itself to me.
I didn't create it so much asdocument it coming through the
download.
And that's what your messagewill feel like too.
It's not going to be abrainstorm.
It's going to be like you'rerecognizing something, like, oh,
that's what's been forming inthe back of my mind all this
(13:43):
time.
It's like a remembering ofwhat's already inside of you.
And the beautiful thing is youdon't have to do it all at once
because messaging isn't a switchthat you flip.
It's actually a conversationthat you deepen.
And you start by following thethreads of what feels most alive
when you speak.
(14:04):
Now, for me, that often happenswhile I'm coaching.
A client will share a struggle.
And in responding, I'll hear aphrase roll out of my mouth that
is new, yet it feels ancient.
It holds this resonance thatmakes us both pause.
And that's when I know thatI've found a seed of my next
(14:24):
message.
So I'll jot it down and maybevoice note a bit about it to
myself later.
And those tiny sparkseventually become the language
of an entire new season.
And that's exactly howself-care for business was born.
I kept noticing the samepattern in client after client.
Brilliant entrepreneurs pouringeverything into their
(14:46):
companies, but running on fumespersonally.
Their businesses were scaling,but their bodies and their
relationships were reallycrashing hard.
And one day during a session, Iheard myself say, the health of
the leader is the health of thebusiness.
And the room went silent.
I felt it in my chest.
That single sentence changedthe direction of my work.
(15:09):
That's how messaging evolvesfrom lived observation, not
theory alone.
So I think sometimes that weunderestimate how intertwined
our lives and messages reallyare.
The move I'm in right now hasmirrored this truth back to me
every single day.
I'll be packing a box andsomething will serve as about
(15:32):
letting go.
And how even the most beautifulthings can outlive their
timing, like that's a thoughtthat keeps landing for me.
That's true for couches and forour copy alike.
And then there are moments ofreceiving.
Like when friends bring overthose small gifts and acts of
(15:54):
kindness that I shared aboutrecently, each gesture reminds
me that being witnessed andsupported amplifies everything.
It just energizes me so muchand makes me feel like I'm
exactly where I need to be.
The same way a team amplifiesyour business, community
amplifies your courage to speakfrom your present truth.
(16:14):
It's easy to forget thatthough, when you're deep in
production mode, when you'releading teams, when you're
launching offers or recordingcontent or deep in product
development, it can feel likethe safest thing to do is stick
to what's proven.
But proven isn't always alive.
Sometimes it's a relic of whatworked for a different version
(16:38):
of you.
And it's okay to let it go.
One of the ways I keep my wordsalive is by listening to what
my body tells me duringcreation.
When I'm truly aligned, mywords feel like they're arriving
through me rather than from me.
Maybe you've experienced this.
My breath slows.
I don't question the phrasing.
(16:59):
I just know.
And when I'm not aligned, I gettight in the chest, my mind
starts looping.
I start rewriting before I'veeven finished the sentence.
And that's how I know I'mtrying to sound right instead of
sounding real and being real.
It takes practice to trust thatdifference, though.
The legacy framework helps withthat because it guides you back
(17:21):
to your original intention, thereason that you started your
business, the deeper impact thatyou're here to make.
Once you re-anchor there, yourlanguage reorganizes itself.
It's like tuning an instrument.
You can keep adjusting thestrings over and over, but until
you strike the chord againstthe right note, you'll always
(17:41):
feel a subtle tension.
Your mission is that note.
And your words also aresimilar.
They find their pitch when youplay beside it.
There's another layer to this,too, though.
The one that comes after you'verefined your message and start
to share it publicly.
This is where courage comes inbecause the world loves
(18:04):
consistency, but true leadershiprequires evolution.
It's like striking a balancebetween both.
There will always be people whopreferred the earlier version
of your voice, and that is okay.
You're not leaving them behind.
You're leading by example.
You're showing them what growthlooks like when it's lived out
loud.
Whenever I step into a newphase like this, I remind myself
(18:27):
the message I'm writing nowisn't just for today.
It's building the bridge to thenext five years of my legacy.
And that is where expansionseason connects the dots.
It's where you take thatclarified vision and embed it
into every part of yourbusiness, offers, teams,
systems, product development,community, fulfillment, all of
(18:50):
it.
So it carries your energycleanly because words are just
the beginning.
The embodiment is what givesthem staying power.
Seasons collective is theongoing rhythm that holds it
all.
It's where the conversationcontinues long after the launch
ends or a framework is mapped.
It's where we remember togetherthat growth is not a sprint.
(19:12):
It's actually cyclical.
There's a time for planting newlanguage and a time for letting
silence speak.
Every single season of yourlife and business has both.
When you're in a messagingdisconnect, you're usually
standing right at that thresholdbetween the harvest of what
you've been talking about andthen the planting of what's
(19:33):
next.
It can feel uncomfortable, butit's really holy ground.
This is where you remeetyourself.
And I'll tell you this claritydoesn't come from forcing the
new words.
It comes from living the newtruth long enough that the words
become inevitable.
That's what happened when Istarted integrating more story
(19:55):
again.
In fact, so at first I washesitant.
I thought, well, people wantstrategy, not personal updates.
But the more I spoke from thereality of my days, the move,
the shifts, the learning, themore messages I received from
women saying, that's exactly howI've been feeling.
It was like in the context ofreal life, the strategy became
(20:16):
more clear.
And that's what I knew.
This is the alignment pointstrategy through humanity.
And I believe that's what ouraudience is craving right now,
all of us, not louder voices,but truer ones, not more
information, but integratingwhat they're learning.
They want to feel like you arethinking out loud and they want
(20:40):
to sense that you're still inthe work with them.
I know I like that from thementors in my life.
And that's why I love recordingconversations like this because
it's not a lecture.
This is like a reflection.
You and I are sitting heretogether sorting through what is
real and what is next.
And maybe as you listen, you'realready thinking about where
(21:02):
your own words have gone quiet.
Maybe there's a phrase you keepusing because it once performed
well, but now it tastes stalein your mouth.
Or maybe you've been sensingthat your next message wants to
reach a different audiencealtogether.
Wherever you are, I want toaffirm for you.
This is your evolution.
This is what it's supposed tolook like.
(21:25):
When I look back at every timeI've re-anchored my message, I
can trace the turning point toone simple thing.
I stopped trying to fix whatwasn't broken and started paying
attention to what was quietlycalling me forward.
There's always that little tug.
You might hear it in the pausebetween sentences or feel it
(21:46):
when you reread a post andthink, this doesn't feel like
the whole story anymore.
That moment is really sacred.
It's the point where your workstops being about sustaining
momentum and starts being aboutsustaining meaning.
I've learned that if you ignoreit, your business will keep
(22:07):
running, of course, but yourspirit will start lagging
behind.
You'll still hit your goals,but it'll feel harder and the
satisfaction will fade faster.
And sooner or later, themisalignment will leak through
in your tone, in your energy,and in your results.
So when that tug shows up, thefirst thing I do is create
(22:27):
space.
I clear a morning to walkwithout earbuds, just listening
to myself.
Sometimes I'll bring anotebook, I'll sit somewhere
quiet, like a cafe or a parkbench, and just ask myself, what
conversation do I actually wantto be in right now?
And again, going from anauthentic place, not what is
going to sell or what trend istaking off, but what topic makes
(22:51):
me forget time when I talkabout it?
What story do I keep wanting totell, even if no one is asking
for it yet?
That's usually where the newlanguage lives.
I had one of those moments afew months ago.
I was journaling about the moveand how for nearly three
decades we'd built a life in oneplace.
(23:12):
A lot of friendships, so manymemories, every single morning
routine was rooted there.
And now, as we prepared toleave, I kept thinking about how
we were bringing the essence ofthat life with us, but none of
the exact structures.
And it hit me that messagingworks the same way.
(23:33):
You carry the essence of yourmission forward, but the
structures, the slogans, thetaglines and phrases have to
evolve.
The form can change while thespirit stays intact.
That realization lifted so muchpressure from me.
I didn't have to reinventmyself.
I just had to translate thesame purpose into a new dialect.
(23:56):
If you've ever learned anotherlanguage, you know the feeling.
So at first, you see all thewords, you're like, how do these
things, how are theypronounced?
How do they sound?
It's really awkward.
You search for words, youoverthink the grammar, but then
one day you're suddenly a littlebit more fluent.
So you can express emotionagain, like to tell a joke or
(24:17):
maybe asked for where to eat,something even like comforting
someone.
And that's when you realizeyou're not learning anything
new.
You're remembering another wayto communicate what has always
been inside of you.
That is exactly how it feelswhen your message realigns.
It's like your soul finallyfinds the right words again.
(24:39):
And what's beautiful is youdon't need to have the whole
paragraph right away.
You can start with thesentence, a truth that feels
undeniably like you.
Whatever it is, speak thatsentence aloud, let it echo,
then build from there.
I've noticed that once you givevoice to even one line of
(25:02):
truth, the rest of the languagestarts to organize around it.
It's as if your message hasbeen waiting for you to open the
door.
In that way, messaging isn't astrategy, it becomes like a
relationship with your messageand with the people you're
sharing it with.
You meet it again and again.
And each time, it shows you aclearer reflection of who you've
(25:22):
become.
That's what the vision map andlegacy framework were created
for.
They are more than like aworksheet situation, they're
mirrors.
They help you see your ownevolution in real time.
You get to track what'schanging, what's staying in your
world, and what is asking for adifferent expression next.
(25:43):
You can revisit them monthly,quarterly, yearly.
And each time they'll show youa different layer of yourself.
And when you pair that withexpansion season, that's when it
all comes alive because it'sone thing to articulate your
truth.
It's another to embody it inyour business model with your
team and your systems and eventhe client journey, of course.
(26:04):
I think about one of my clientswho went through this exact
process.
She'd been running a successfulconsulting agency for years,
but every time she tried towrite a new copy, she'd hit a
wall.
She said, I feel like I'mdescribing a business I built
five years ago, not the one thatI'm leading now.
We walked through the visionmap together, and within a week,
(26:26):
she saw it.
Her true mission wasn't justabout efficiency and operations,
it was about restoring humanityto corporate culture.
Once she owned that, everythingchanged.
Her offers, her pricing, herteam meetings all came into
alignment.
And the messaging practicallywrote itself.
That's what happens when youreconnect to purpose.
(26:47):
The right language rushes in tomeet you.
So if you're listening rightnow and sensing that tug, the
one that says, your old wordsdon't quite fit anymore, I want
you to know that this isexpansion of consciousness going
on for you.
You're being invited into ahigher frequency of
communication that matches whoyou've become.
(27:10):
And this is where I circle backto reflection, because even
though mentors and peers canmirror our I have this ritual
right now, whenever I feel ashift coming on, I step outside
and lately it's been this.
I lean against a tree and I'lllook up either through the
(27:31):
leaves or through the branchesto the sky, and I'll take a deep
breath.
I'll close my eyes and I'lljust ask, What part of my
message is ready to retire?
And I sit with that, or standwith it, depending on the
weather.
Sometimes nothing comes for awhile, and then out of nowhere,
a phrase floats up, and it maybe something I've been saying on
(27:51):
autopilot that suddenly islike, This is this is what it's
meant to be.
I I've known this and I've beensaying this all along.
Then I write it down and Ithank it for getting me here.
And then I ask, what truthwants to replace it?
It's such a simple practice,but it's opened entire new
(28:12):
pathways in my business becauseevery time I release an old
phrase, space opens forsomething truer.
And truth is magnetic.
The more aligned my messagebecomes, the less I need to
market.
Conversations start finding me,partnerships appear that feel
divinely orchestrated, and theright clients reach out saying,
(28:33):
I don't even know how I foundyou, but I know we're supposed
to be working together.
That's the power of resonance.
And here's the beautifulparadox.
The clearer your messagebecomes, the more room you have
for mystery.
You don't have to script everysingle outcome.
You just keep speaking fromwhere you are, and the next
season reveals itself to you.
(28:54):
That's what I've been leaninginto as I record this episode,
even trusting that the stories,the lessons, the small
reflections you're hearing areexactly what you need today.
And it's not because I sat andperfectly planned out a whole
framework of what I was talkingabout, but because I've been
living it honestly.
(29:14):
And I believe that's where trueleadership comes in, from
authentic integration, thewillingness to live your message
before you publish it, thecourage to say, this is what's
real for me right now, even ifit's still unfolding.
If you've been in a messagingdisconnect lately, it might not
be about finding the new words.
(29:36):
It might be more about givingyourself permission to speak
from the version of you who'sbeen waiting patiently to take
the mic.
You're already fluent in yournext language.
You just need to trust yourselfenough to speak.
And when you do, the peoplewho've been searching for you
will recognize that soundinstantly.
(29:57):
It's the tone of truth, and itcuts the Through all the noise.
So here's what I invite you todo after you listen.
Find a quiet space, bring anotebook, open a voice note on
your phone, and ask yourself acouple of questions, like the
ones I asked earlier.
What conversations feel heavyright now?
What stories feel too small?
(30:18):
And what truth feels too aliveto keep inside of you any
longer?
And then just speak.
Don't filter yourself, don'tplan.
Just let the words come.
That is your next message.
And if you want helptranslating it into your
business, into offers, launches,leadership, start with your
(30:38):
vision map.
It's the compass that bringsyou back to your mission every
single time.
From there, the legacyframework will help you
articulate your deeper impactand the message you want to be
known for.
And when you're ready to bringit all to life with support and
community, that is whatexpansion season is for.
You don't have to do it alone.
(30:59):
You just have to start whereyou are with the words that feel
true today.
Because those words are alreadythe bridge to your next level.
Thanks so much for listening.
Go to the show notes to see thelinks that I mentioned.
And I look forward to seeingyou on another episode.
And I believe that's where true leadership comes in,
from authentic integration, thewillingness to live your message
before you publish it, thecourage to say, this is what's
real for me right now, even ifit's still unfolding.
If you've been in a messagingdisconnect lately, it might not
be about finding the new words.
It might be more about givingyourself permission to speak
(00:25):
from the version of you who'sbeen waiting patiently to take
the mic.
Hi, welcome to the podcast.
I'm Sheila Botelho, and Ibelieve true success is built
from the inside out.
Have you ever had that feelingthat something you've said a
hundred times suddenly doesn'tland anymore?
It's subtle at first.
(00:45):
Like maybe you're in aconversation with a client or
you're recording a piece ofcontent that you've shared for
years, and the words feel likean outfit that used to fit
perfectly, but now it's liketucking at your shoulders.
Something just feels off.
Well, I felt that way manytimes over the years, and it
used to bother me because for solong I believe that once you
(01:08):
find your message, you keep it.
Like a brand promise written instone.
But I've come to see that ourwords are living things.
They breathe with us, theystretch and contract as we do.
And when they start feeling toosmall, it's actually an
(01:29):
invitation to make a change.
Now I've watched this happen inmy own business, especially in
the last few years.
The conversations that once litme up started to feel flat.
The DMs coming in were stillkind and curious, but they
weren't from the people whotruly resonated with where I was
heading.
And that's when I knew mylanguage needed to evolve.
(01:51):
Because the message thatbrought me here isn't the one
that's going to carry me whereI'm going next.
What it feels like when yourold words stop working, it's
almost like walking into a roomthat you've rearranged, and
that's where I'm at right now,uh, in my home where I've just
moved into.
So you know everything in theroom, but you keep bumping into
(02:14):
the corners.
Oh my goodness, the bruises onmy legs right now, because your
body still remembers the oldlayout.
And with your words, you'resaying the familiar phrases, but
they don't open the same doorsanymore.
Your engagement may dip, ofcourse, but deeper than that,
your own energy dips.
That's what told me it was timeto listen.
(02:36):
Sometimes it looks likerealizing that the angle that
you've been taking isn'trelevant anymore.
A great example of this in ourworld is how much things have
changed since AI came onto thescene.
For years, people sold contentcreation as the hardest thing to
keep up with.
Now a lot of tactical load canbe supported by tools.
(02:58):
So the conversation isn't abouthow hard it is to create
content anymore.
It's about how to make yourmessage feel alive in a world
full of content.
That is a shift inconsciousness.
Other times, the signs arequieter.
Maybe you start attractingclients who aren't a full
energetic match for you anymore.
(03:19):
They're lovely, but the workfeels heavier than it should.
That's your signal that themessage you've been sharing is
still calibrated to an earlierversion of you.
You've outgrown the container.
And then there are times whenthe disconnect shows up in your
own body.
You finish a launch and insteadof feeling proud, you feel
(03:40):
really tired.
Or you reread your copy andthink, this used to sound like
me, but now it just sounds safe.
I've learned to honor thatmoment because every evolution
in my business has started rightthere in that gentle
restlessness that says, you'reready for a new layer of truth.
When my words stop working, Itake it as my cue to slow down
(04:05):
and listen underneath the noise.
And that is where claritystarts to whisper.
It's also how I know my messagehas evolved by how my body
reacts when I share it.
If I feel lit up, if myshoulders drop and my heart
expands, I know that I'maligned.
If I feel impatient, bored, orsecretly resentful when someone
(04:29):
responds, that's feedback.
Not about them at all.
It's about me.
Resentment I've found is asacred teacher.
It tells you where you'resaying yes to something your
soul has already outgrown.
When I started feeling thatedge, I know that my message was
moving on and it was time tocatch up to it.
(04:51):
Mentors and clients have beenmirrors for me in that process.
There's something powerfulabout being witnessed by people
who see your magic even when youforget that you have it in you.
And I have a few dear friendsthat I voice note with
regularly, other entrepreneurswho get it.
We talk strategy, life, family,everything.
(05:12):
And every so often, in atotally casual message, one of
them will stop me and say, Doyou realize what you just said?
That is big.
It's humbling because half thetime I don't realize it.
I'm just speaking from my truthin that moment, not trying to
teach anything.
But that's the beauty ofreflection.
Someone else catches thebrilliance you almost brushed
(05:36):
past.
And it goes both ways.
They'll be sharing somethingwith me about their day.
And I'll hear a line that landslike lightning, and I'll tell
them, wait, what you just said,write that down.
That's your next post, yournext chapter.
These changes that we find inthe exchanges that we have
(05:59):
remind me how often our mostresonant messages live in the
throwaway lines, the words wesay when we're not even trying.
Mentors help too becausethey've seen this cycle before.
They know how it feels to be inbetween languages, the old one
fading away and the new one notfully formed.
(06:21):
They hold you steady while youtranslate it all out.
And clients, well, they are theliving pulse of what wants to
come through you next.
Every question they ask, everymoment of confusion or
curiosity, and every time theyhave something to say about a
product that you've created andhow it's working or not working
(06:43):
in their day-to-day life,they're handing you the language
of your next season.
But my deepest clarity alwayscomes from my own reflections.
Surprise, surprise.
I have had breakthroughssitting at my desk.
That happens sometimes.
But the ones that changedeverything, they came on walks.
(07:04):
They came when I left my phonebehind or stuck it in airplane
mode and let the noise quietdown enough to hear myself
again.
Just the other day, beforeoutlining this episode, I caught
myself scrolling.
I was posting a reel, waitingfor it to upload as we do, and
the algorithm served me a feedfull of genuinely inspiring
(07:25):
content.
I am one of those people whocurates my feed so meticulously.
And beautiful people are doingsuch meaningful work.
But my energy was low at thetime.
It was the end of a worksession.
And as I watched, I startedfeeling that familiar wobble
that hasn't come up for a while.
Should I be doing that?
(07:46):
Maybe I should pivot like thisperson.
And the second I noticed it, Iclosed the app, I stood up, and
I walked outside because I knowthat voice.
That's not my intuition.
That is fatigue.
When I'm tired, everythingoutside of me looks shinier than
what's inside of me.
But when I rest, when I gethydrated and I move my body and
(08:09):
I come back to my own rhythm, mytruth resurfaces.
And that is why reflection is anon-negotiable for me.
My biggest breakthroughs,business, health, relationships,
my spiritual life, have come inmoments of solitude when I've
made space to listen and notscroll.
(08:30):
And what always amazes me ishow once I capture those
downloads, whether in a voicenote, a journal, or a typed
stream of consciousness, theyend up being exactly what my
community needs to hear.
And this isn't because Istrategized it, it's because I
lived it.
And that is the thread that Isee with my clients also.
(08:54):
The moment they stop trying tosound right and start sounding
real, like themselves,everything opens up.
Their messaging sharpens, theirmagnetism expands, and the
right clients appear.
When I think about how I'vepersonally navigated messaging
pivots, especially through thismove and the evolution of my
(09:16):
brand, I realize it's alwaysbeen a mix of letting go and
leaning in.
Moving homes has a funny way ofreflecting your business.
You touch every project, decideif it still belongs in your
next season, and bless what'sready to go, releasing it.
Words are no different.
During this move, I startedsharing a little more from my
(09:38):
personal world again, thestories, the shifts, the way
life behind the brand actuallyfeels.
And for a while, I'd keptthings mostly strategic,
focusing on frameworks andsystems, which is valuable, of
course, but missing some of thewarmth that people originally
connected to.
So I let the personal back in.
Not every detail, just enoughfor people to see the human in
(10:01):
the strategy.
And in doing that, somethingshifted.
The messages started landingdeeper again because people
don't follow you for yourpolish.
They follow you for yourperspective.
So when I think about thiswhole idea of messaging
disconnect, it really isn'tabout being off track.
It's about noticing that whoyou've become now carries a
(10:26):
different resonance than theversion of you who created the
last message.
The stories that once served asproof of what's possible are
still true, but they no longercapture the full range of what
you can see.
That's what happens as we grow.
Our perspective widens.
And when your perspectivewidens, your language must
(10:47):
expand with it.
The conversations you want tohave right now sit at a
different altitude.
They hold more nuance,especially now, more empathy,
more depth.
And it's not about rebrandingyourself, it's about tapping
into and remembering that truersound of your own voice.
I see it happen all the timewith women who come to me after
(11:11):
crossing the million-dollarmark.
They've mastered thestructures, they've got all the
funnels, the teams, et cetera.
And yet something in theirmessaging feels mechanical.
They'll say things like, Idon't know why the words aren't
landing anymore.
And I'll ask, when was the lasttime you said something you did
an edit first?
There's usually a pause andthen a laugh and often tears
(11:36):
because they realize it's beenmonths, maybe even years.
They've been performing theearlier version of their message
rather than speaking from thepresent one.
And that's where the vision mapalways comes in.
It's where you get to askyourself, what do I actually
want to be known for right nowin this season of my life?
(11:56):
Not what I promised five yearsago, not what my last program
sold, not what my last productwas, but what truth lives in me
today that's begging to bespoken.
When you map that vision out,clarity arrives.
And it isn't heavy.
It actually energizes you.
(12:16):
The old message feels likeobligation, and the new one is
like oxygen to your wholesystem.
Sometimes I'll sit with womenin that exact transition and
they'll worry that changingtheir words will confuse their
audience and they'll lose them.
And I totally get it becauseyou've spent years building
trust.
But what I've found is thatwhen your evolution is
(12:38):
authentic, when your audiencesees you for who you are, they
can feel it before you even sayit.
They actually anticipate it.
They're just waiting for you tocatch up.
And that's how I felt rightbefore shifting my brand into
what it is now.
The legacy framework startedforming before I even named it.
It was just a feeling at first,a sense, usually on a walk that
(13:01):
came to me, that everything Iwas teaching about business
growth needed to be rooted moredeeply in purpose.
So I started asking differentquestions.
Like, what if success wasn'tjust about scaling revenue, but
about expanding integrity?
And what if the real mark ofgrowth was how aligned you feel
(13:22):
in your daily life?
And as I started living thosequestions, the framework
revealed itself to me.
I didn't create it so much asdocument it coming through the
download.
And that's what your messagewill feel like too.
It's not going to be abrainstorm.
It's going to be like you'rerecognizing something, like, oh,
that's what's been forming inthe back of my mind all this
(13:43):
time.
It's like a remembering ofwhat's already inside of you.
And the beautiful thing is youdon't have to do it all at once
because messaging isn't a switchthat you flip.
It's actually a conversationthat you deepen.
And you start by following thethreads of what feels most alive
when you speak.
(14:04):
Now, for me, that often happenswhile I'm coaching.
A client will share a struggle.
And in responding, I'll hear aphrase roll out of my mouth that
is new, yet it feels ancient.
It holds this resonance thatmakes us both pause.
And that's when I know thatI've found a seed of my next
(14:24):
message.
So I'll jot it down and maybevoice note a bit about it to
myself later.
And those tiny sparkseventually become the language
of an entire new season.
And that's exactly howself-care for business was born.
I kept noticing the samepattern in client after client.
Brilliant entrepreneurs pouringeverything into their
(14:46):
companies, but running on fumespersonally.
Their businesses were scaling,but their bodies and their
relationships were reallycrashing hard.
And one day during a session, Iheard myself say, the health of
the leader is the health of thebusiness.
And the room went silent.
I felt it in my chest.
That single sentence changedthe direction of my work.
(15:09):
That's how messaging evolvesfrom lived observation, not
theory alone.
So I think sometimes that weunderestimate how intertwined
our lives and messages reallyare.
The move I'm in right now hasmirrored this truth back to me
every single day.
I'll be packing a box andsomething will serve as about
(15:32):
letting go.
And how even the most beautifulthings can outlive their
timing, like that's a thoughtthat keeps landing for me.
That's true for couches and forour copy alike.
And then there are moments ofreceiving.
Like when friends bring overthose small gifts and acts of
(15:54):
kindness that I shared aboutrecently, each gesture reminds
me that being witnessed andsupported amplifies everything.
It just energizes me so muchand makes me feel like I'm
exactly where I need to be.
The same way a team amplifiesyour business, community
amplifies your courage to speakfrom your present truth.
(16:14):
It's easy to forget thatthough, when you're deep in
production mode, when you'releading teams, when you're
launching offers or recordingcontent or deep in product
development, it can feel likethe safest thing to do is stick
to what's proven.
But proven isn't always alive.
Sometimes it's a relic of whatworked for a different version
(16:38):
of you.
And it's okay to let it go.
One of the ways I keep my wordsalive is by listening to what
my body tells me duringcreation.
When I'm truly aligned, mywords feel like they're arriving
through me rather than from me.
Maybe you've experienced this.
My breath slows.
I don't question the phrasing.
(16:59):
I just know.
And when I'm not aligned, I gettight in the chest, my mind
starts looping.
I start rewriting before I'veeven finished the sentence.
And that's how I know I'mtrying to sound right instead of
sounding real and being real.
It takes practice to trust thatdifference, though.
The legacy framework helps withthat because it guides you back
(17:21):
to your original intention, thereason that you started your
business, the deeper impact thatyou're here to make.
Once you re-anchor there, yourlanguage reorganizes itself.
It's like tuning an instrument.
You can keep adjusting thestrings over and over, but until
you strike the chord againstthe right note, you'll always
(17:41):
feel a subtle tension.
Your mission is that note.
And your words also aresimilar.
They find their pitch when youplay beside it.
There's another layer to this,too, though.
The one that comes after you'verefined your message and start
to share it publicly.
This is where courage comes inbecause the world loves
(18:04):
consistency, but true leadershiprequires evolution.
It's like striking a balancebetween both.
There will always be people whopreferred the earlier version
of your voice, and that is okay.
You're not leaving them behind.
You're leading by example.
You're showing them what growthlooks like when it's lived out
loud.
Whenever I step into a newphase like this, I remind myself
(18:27):
the message I'm writing nowisn't just for today.
It's building the bridge to thenext five years of my legacy.
And that is where expansionseason connects the dots.
It's where you take thatclarified vision and embed it
into every part of yourbusiness, offers, teams,
systems, product development,community, fulfillment, all of
(18:50):
it.
So it carries your energycleanly because words are just
the beginning.
The embodiment is what givesthem staying power.
Seasons collective is theongoing rhythm that holds it
all.
It's where the conversationcontinues long after the launch
ends or a framework is mapped.
It's where we remember togetherthat growth is not a sprint.
(19:12):
It's actually cyclical.
There's a time for planting newlanguage and a time for letting
silence speak.
Every single season of yourlife and business has both.
When you're in a messagingdisconnect, you're usually
standing right at that thresholdbetween the harvest of what
you've been talking about andthen the planting of what's
(19:33):
next.
It can feel uncomfortable, butit's really holy ground.
This is where you remeetyourself.
And I'll tell you this claritydoesn't come from forcing the
new words.
It comes from living the newtruth long enough that the words
become inevitable.
That's what happened when Istarted integrating more story
(19:55):
again.
In fact, so at first I washesitant.
I thought, well, people wantstrategy, not personal updates.
But the more I spoke from thereality of my days, the move,
the shifts, the learning, themore messages I received from
women saying, that's exactly howI've been feeling.
It was like in the context ofreal life, the strategy became
(20:16):
more clear.
And that's what I knew.
This is the alignment pointstrategy through humanity.
And I believe that's what ouraudience is craving right now,
all of us, not louder voices,but truer ones, not more
information, but integratingwhat they're learning.
They want to feel like you arethinking out loud and they want
(20:40):
to sense that you're still inthe work with them.
I know I like that from thementors in my life.
And that's why I love recordingconversations like this because
it's not a lecture.
This is like a reflection.
You and I are sitting heretogether sorting through what is
real and what is next.
And maybe as you listen, you'realready thinking about where
(21:02):
your own words have gone quiet.
Maybe there's a phrase you keepusing because it once performed
well, but now it tastes stalein your mouth.
Or maybe you've been sensingthat your next message wants to
reach a different audiencealtogether.
Wherever you are, I want toaffirm for you.
This is your evolution.
This is what it's supposed tolook like.
(21:25):
When I look back at every timeI've re-anchored my message, I
can trace the turning point toone simple thing.
I stopped trying to fix whatwasn't broken and started paying
attention to what was quietlycalling me forward.
There's always that little tug.
You might hear it in the pausebetween sentences or feel it
(21:46):
when you reread a post andthink, this doesn't feel like
the whole story anymore.
That moment is really sacred.
It's the point where your workstops being about sustaining
momentum and starts being aboutsustaining meaning.
I've learned that if you ignoreit, your business will keep
(22:07):
running, of course, but yourspirit will start lagging
behind.
You'll still hit your goals,but it'll feel harder and the
satisfaction will fade faster.
And sooner or later, themisalignment will leak through
in your tone, in your energy,and in your results.
So when that tug shows up, thefirst thing I do is create
(22:27):
space.
I clear a morning to walkwithout earbuds, just listening
to myself.
Sometimes I'll bring anotebook, I'll sit somewhere
quiet, like a cafe or a parkbench, and just ask myself, what
conversation do I actually wantto be in right now?
And again, going from anauthentic place, not what is
going to sell or what trend istaking off, but what topic makes
(22:51):
me forget time when I talkabout it?
What story do I keep wanting totell, even if no one is asking
for it yet?
That's usually where the newlanguage lives.
I had one of those moments afew months ago.
I was journaling about the moveand how for nearly three
decades we'd built a life in oneplace.
(23:12):
A lot of friendships, so manymemories, every single morning
routine was rooted there.
And now, as we prepared toleave, I kept thinking about how
we were bringing the essence ofthat life with us, but none of
the exact structures.
And it hit me that messagingworks the same way.
(23:33):
You carry the essence of yourmission forward, but the
structures, the slogans, thetaglines and phrases have to
evolve.
The form can change while thespirit stays intact.
That realization lifted so muchpressure from me.
I didn't have to reinventmyself.
I just had to translate thesame purpose into a new dialect.
(23:56):
If you've ever learned anotherlanguage, you know the feeling.
So at first, you see all thewords, you're like, how do these
things, how are theypronounced?
How do they sound?
It's really awkward.
You search for words, youoverthink the grammar, but then
one day you're suddenly a littlebit more fluent.
So you can express emotionagain, like to tell a joke or
(24:17):
maybe asked for where to eat,something even like comforting
someone.
And that's when you realizeyou're not learning anything
new.
You're remembering another wayto communicate what has always
been inside of you.
That is exactly how it feelswhen your message realigns.
It's like your soul finallyfinds the right words again.
(24:39):
And what's beautiful is youdon't need to have the whole
paragraph right away.
You can start with thesentence, a truth that feels
undeniably like you.
Whatever it is, speak thatsentence aloud, let it echo,
then build from there.
I've noticed that once you givevoice to even one line of
(25:02):
truth, the rest of the languagestarts to organize around it.
It's as if your message hasbeen waiting for you to open the
door.
In that way, messaging isn't astrategy, it becomes like a
relationship with your messageand with the people you're
sharing it with.
You meet it again and again.
And each time, it shows you aclearer reflection of who you've
(25:22):
become.
That's what the vision map andlegacy framework were created
for.
They are more than like aworksheet situation, they're
mirrors.
They help you see your ownevolution in real time.
You get to track what'schanging, what's staying in your
world, and what is asking for adifferent expression next.
(25:43):
You can revisit them monthly,quarterly, yearly.
And each time they'll show youa different layer of yourself.
And when you pair that withexpansion season, that's when it
all comes alive because it'sone thing to articulate your
truth.
It's another to embody it inyour business model with your
team and your systems and eventhe client journey, of course.
(26:04):
I think about one of my clientswho went through this exact
process.
She'd been running a successfulconsulting agency for years,
but every time she tried towrite a new copy, she'd hit a
wall.
She said, I feel like I'mdescribing a business I built
five years ago, not the one thatI'm leading now.
We walked through the visionmap together, and within a week,
(26:26):
she saw it.
Her true mission wasn't justabout efficiency and operations,
it was about restoring humanityto corporate culture.
Once she owned that, everythingchanged.
Her offers, her pricing, herteam meetings all came into
alignment.
And the messaging practicallywrote itself.
That's what happens when youreconnect to purpose.
(26:47):
The right language rushes in tomeet you.
So if you're listening rightnow and sensing that tug, the
one that says, your old wordsdon't quite fit anymore, I want
you to know that this isexpansion of consciousness going
on for you.
You're being invited into ahigher frequency of
communication that matches whoyou've become.
(27:10):
And this is where I circle backto reflection, because even
though mentors and peers canmirror our I have this ritual
right now, whenever I feel ashift coming on, I step outside
and lately it's been this.
I lean against a tree and I'lllook up either through the
(27:31):
leaves or through the branchesto the sky, and I'll take a deep
breath.
I'll close my eyes and I'lljust ask, What part of my
message is ready to retire?
And I sit with that, or standwith it, depending on the
weather.
Sometimes nothing comes for awhile, and then out of nowhere,
a phrase floats up, and it maybe something I've been saying on
(27:51):
autopilot that suddenly islike, This is this is what it's
meant to be.
I I've known this and I've beensaying this all along.
Then I write it down and Ithank it for getting me here.
And then I ask, what truthwants to replace it?
It's such a simple practice,but it's opened entire new
(28:12):
pathways in my business becauseevery time I release an old
phrase, space opens forsomething truer.
And truth is magnetic.
The more aligned my messagebecomes, the less I need to
market.
Conversations start finding me,partnerships appear that feel
divinely orchestrated, and theright clients reach out saying,
(28:33):
I don't even know how I foundyou, but I know we're supposed
to be working together.
That's the power of resonance.
And here's the beautifulparadox.
The clearer your messagebecomes, the more room you have
for mystery.
You don't have to script everysingle outcome.
You just keep speaking fromwhere you are, and the next
season reveals itself to you.
(28:54):
That's what I've been leaninginto as I record this episode,
even trusting that the stories,the lessons, the small
reflections you're hearing areexactly what you need today.
And it's not because I sat andperfectly planned out a whole
framework of what I was talkingabout, but because I've been
living it honestly.
(29:14):
And I believe that's where trueleadership comes in, from
authentic integration, thewillingness to live your message
before you publish it, thecourage to say, this is what's
real for me right now, even ifit's still unfolding.
If you've been in a messagingdisconnect lately, it might not
be about finding the new words.
(29:36):
It might be more about givingyourself permission to speak
from the version of you who'sbeen waiting patiently to take
the mic.
You're already fluent in yournext language.
You just need to trust yourselfenough to speak.
And when you do, the peoplewho've been searching for you
will recognize that soundinstantly.
(29:57):
It's the tone of truth, and itcuts the Through all the noise.
So here's what I invite you todo after you listen.
Find a quiet space, bring anotebook, open a voice note on
your phone, and ask yourself acouple of questions, like the
ones I asked earlier.
What conversations feel heavyright now?
What stories feel too small?
(30:18):
And what truth feels too aliveto keep inside of you any
longer?
And then just speak.
Don't filter yourself, don'tplan.
Just let the words come.
That is your next message.
And if you want helptranslating it into your
business, into offers, launches,leadership, start with your
(30:38):
vision map.
It's the compass that bringsyou back to your mission every
single time.
From there, the legacyframework will help you
articulate your deeper impactand the message you want to be
known for.
And when you're ready to bringit all to life with support and
community, that is whatexpansion season is for.
You don't have to do it alone.
(30:59):
You just have to start whereyou are with the words that feel
true today.
Because those words are alreadythe bridge to your next level.
Thanks so much for listening.
Go to the show notes to see thelinks that I mentioned.
And I look forward to seeingyou on another episode.
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