Are you the kind of person who is always apologizing for every little thing, even just for taking up space? The truth is that apologizing is typically not the most effective way to communicate with others and can actually cause you to be out of alignment with your own values. Today, co-hosts Ben and Paige talk about the concept of forgiveness, how to properly apologize when it is warranted, and how to stop apologizing when it is not necessary.
Every interaction you have with another person teaches them something about who you are. By always apologizing for things like simply taking up space, you are teaching people that you are a burden to be around. Most apologies are not genuine or made with intention, but instead are about overcoming guilt or shame. Instead of being a person who feels guilty simply for being yourself, try to behave as a person who is comfortable taking up space in the world.
The most effective apology is the one you make to yourself. If you do something that you later realize was not in alignment with how you want to show up in the world, then go ahead and apologize! But that apology is for your benefit, not the benefit of others. Learn more about the trap of over apologizing, the importance of communicating with intentionality, and how to build your self-esteem so that you can stop apologizing for just being yourself.
Quotes
- “You’re telling other people how to see you all the time, in every way that you’re showing up, in every interaction.” (15:45-15:49 | Ben)
- “Behave as though you are the kind of person who belongs at the center of the room. Behave as though you are the kind of person who is comfortable having eyes on you. Behave as though you are the kind of person who takes up space in the world, that you have a right to take up space in the world.” (17:34-17:51 | Ben)
- “If the tendency to apologize is part of your common vernacular, figure out what you can replace that with so that every time you say ‘sorry’ you can say something else instead.” (19:06-19:17 | Paige)
- “A true apology is about realigning yourself with who you really are and coming to a new awareness about yourself, so that you show up in a different way in the world.” (25:55-26:06 | Ben)
- “My rule of thumb is that all apologies are actually apologies to yourself.” (28:17-28:21 | Ben)
Links
Connect with Ben and Paige:
Website: https://lucidshiftcoaching.com/
Lucid Shift Coaching IG: https://www.instagram.com/lucid_shift_coaching/
This podcast that helps business owners reduce overwhelm, beat imposter syndrome, and lead with confidence and clarity by diving into practical strategies for breaking through self-imposed ceilings, tackling the fear of not being good enough or worthy enough, and overcoming the fear of failure. Learn how to become more efficient with your day, stop procrastinating, and manage insecurity, while also mastering delegation, growing your team, and expanding your bandwidth for greater success. If you've ever felt slowed down by self-doubt, this podcast is your guide to breaking free and achieving more.
Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm
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