February 4, 2025 • 43 mins
Join us for an enlightening conversation with Leroy Slanzi, an educator whose journey ranges from principal roles worldwide to his fulfilling work at an Indigenous school in British Columbia. This episode sheds light on the nuances of global educational systems, highlighting Canada’s impressive standing in education. Leroy offers insights into how the digital age and environmental factors are reshaping student behavior, and why emotional intelligence and holistic learning are critical in today's classrooms.
We dive deep into the urgent need for emotional education in schools, where traditional subjects often overshadow social-emotional learning. Facing a looming mental health crisis, we discuss equipping educators and students alike with the tools necessary for emotional intelligence. I also introduce my books as resources, offering pathways through these challenges and advocating for the integration of play to combat the decline in children's perseverance and grit. Together, we strive to fill the missing piece in the education system, championing a holistic approach for nurturing well-rounded children.
The episode doesn't just stop at theory—it explores practical implementation through emotional audits in schools, which help boost emotional intelligence and well-being. Imagine schools where a common emotional language and mindfulness practices are part of everyday life, aiding not just students but teachers as well. We also touch on the unique needs of children with autism, advocating for environments that allow their emotional growth. By fostering empathy and compassion, we aim to inspire a transformation in how education meets the emotional needs of all its students.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Hi and welcome to the SJ ChildShow.
It's so nice to be here todayand I am joined with Leroy Leroy
(00:42):
.
How do I pronounce your lastname so that I don't do it any
injustice?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, that's fine, it's Slancy.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I would have gone right there, so it would have
been okay, right, it's so niceto meet you.
I'm looking forward touncovering more about what you
do and I read a lot on yourprofile and website, so I'm
really fascinated to get intothis conversation.
Lot on your profile and website, so I'm really fascinated to
get into this conversation.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Tell us a little bit about yourself and what kind of
what brought you here today.
Sure, yeah, well, first andforemost, I'm a dad.
I have two kids.
I have a teenager who's in hisfirst year of college this year
and a daughter who's in grade 11.
So I'm coming to the end ofraising kids at home and
learning how to raise kids whenthey're away from home.
They're almost a little moreneedy, I'm finding, as they ask
(01:31):
for more money.
So, which is great, it's greatmy son's doing well and I'm
grateful that I get to supporthim in his future.
And other than that, I'm aprincipal of an elementary
school currently.
I've been a principal ofelementary middle high schools,
run the whole gamut, been at itfor about 25 years.
(01:52):
I've written a few books, I doa lot of workshops for teachers
around emotional intelligenceand I'm trying to reinvigorate,
you know, our education systembecause it's starting to fail in
a lot of places all over theworld.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, yeah, definitely, and it's interesting
and, like you said, all overthe world, because I was going
to say how is the school system,how does it differ if you know
from, you know american, fromthe usa schools and what does
that look like as far as, uh,running the same kind of system?
(02:32):
Or are we, you know, the samecurriculum style?
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
yeah, well, I I can't .
I can speak on behalf ofbritish columbia, because that's
where I'm at.
Here in canada we do have afederal education system, but
the provinces have more controlover what we do.
But in terms of just a generalidea, in Canada we have public
school systems, we haveindependent school systems, we
(02:57):
have private school systems,just like you do in the States,
just like they do in, you know,australia, new Zealand, the
United Kingdom.
I think that's kind of how itworks.
And you know the private schoolsystems may be inclined to be
more religious or focus on someother stream or characterization
(03:17):
that they choose to go down.
I, for example, I'm not in thepublic system anymore.
I actually left two years ago.
I work for an Indian band, so Iwork in an Indigenous school.
Yeah, and it's been probablythe best move I've ever made in
my life, working with Indigenouspeople and I'm learning so much
.
Yeah.
(03:38):
And it's wonderful because, youknow, the incorporation of
land-based learning, thehands-on type learning, into
reading, writing and arithmeticis just amazing.
So that's an example.
Being an independent school anda public school here in Canada,
you do get on the land, but youdon't get to go and get on the
land every day because it coststoo much, right?
So in that sense it's the same.
(04:02):
I think I do know and I don'twant to toot our horn up here I
do know that Canada usuallyranks in the top three in the
world in terms of theireducational system.
I love that.
Yeah, who's toot your horn?
Yeah, well, you know Alberta,our province next door, actually
in 2022 ranked number one inthe world in reading.
(04:22):
So I'm kind of ticked at thembecause I think we were seven.
But they actually, in 2022,ranked number one in the world
in reading, so I'm kind ofticked at them because I think
we were seven, but they areCanadian, so that's okay, but
otherwise, yeah, no, I think oursystems are the same and I have
a lot of conversations withteachers from the United States
and I interact a lot withsuperintendents and principals
from all over the world, andwe're all running into the same
issue globally, and that's youknow our, the behavior of our
(04:44):
kids, and that has shifteddrastically, which has come in
turn with the digital, digitalage we live in isn't that the
truth?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I think there's so many multiple facets to that
environmental, you know,processed foods there's just a
gamut of unfortunate things thatcreate unhealthy lifestyles
which then breed to unhealthyminds.
(05:14):
And in fact I have a children'sbook series and the tagline is
like healthy minds createhealthy futures, and I
completely agree with that.
And they're about special needsand how to, um, you know,
express or share that experiencewith the typical peers and how
(05:38):
they can better support oneanother and really just learn to
humanize one another andrecognize that in kindness is
where we'll have growth and that, yeah, all the other stuff just
takes a toll and brings us theother direction.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
So, yeah, well that's a beautiful, beautiful book
series.
I actually have a master's inspecial ed, so that's I kind of.
I started my career as aspecial ed teacher before I
became an administrator.
So kind of near and dear to myheart there, sarah oh wonderful.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Well, I have a family of all autistics and and so,
and a daughter that is, ahusband that are dyslexic, and
so for me, it was reallyrecognizing the injustice, if
you will, that they were kind ofreceiving, with people not
understanding them in their peercircles, and I didn't know how
to bridge that gap or how toreally fulfill that for them,
(06:35):
which is very personal anyways.
But you know, as a parent, as asuper parent, you want to try
to get in there and do whateveryou can.
You want to try to get in thereand do whatever you can.
And I just felt like when theywere really little, kind of
expressing to them that, hey,it's OK, there's, you know,
we've we wrote a book about howcool this is and how different
differences are beautiful andunique and should be widely
(07:00):
accepted, rather than the others.
So, yeah, that was, but hey, wecan get not my about my books
but yeah, I want to hear moreabout yours, that's so great,
it's okay.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Well, I think we're practicing the same beliefs
because, you know, that's onething that's very important, it
has been very important to meover the course of my career is
inclusion.
And you know, one of the mainarguments, you know, around
inclusion, around having kidswith special needs in classroom,
is that they educate the kidsaround them.
(07:32):
I mean, a lot of people will gowell, they should be included
in math, they should be includedin assemblies, they should be
yeah, they of course they shouldbe.
There's, there's no, but whatthey're missing is the power
these kids have on developingempathy and kindness in other
kids.
You know, to the point where I,my kids, are more prone to
being kind to the students whohave special needs than they are
(07:55):
to their classmates right.
And it comes down to a lot of itis it's a visible disability,
so there's just that naturalcaring that comes out.
It's like oh, you know what,they're clearly struggling,
because I can see it, and sothat's where I try to work with
kids in schools, to have kidsalso that they actually may, and
so the key is to just be kindto everyone and treat everyone
(08:29):
the same right.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Absolutely, and it really I see in we have I'm kind
of the same way I have a25-year-old stepdaughter, so
I've finished my in-homeparenting for that person.
And then you know we have a 15year old who is a high support
(08:52):
needs and a 13 year old withvery low support needs.
So it's very interesting theyou know range and the spectrum
that we get to kind of perceiveand support along the way.
And I see how the for my son,the school system failed him at
(09:14):
the very beginning.
At the very beginning he washyper lexic.
He was reading at one, writingat two and the school was just
like no way.
When he was in kindergarten hewas, I guess, first grade, he
(09:34):
was doing algebra and of courseI had provided all of these
educational tools for himbecause I saw that he had this
love and this want for thesethings.
But the school system I thought, oh, I can't wait till he goes
to school.
This is going to be great, youknow, this is the perfect place
for him.
And they just said decline,decline.
(09:55):
We cannot teach someone likehim on the level that he's at.
Sorry, and I was so shocked andin disbelief that I was hearing
this, thinking you all haveteaching degrees.
I'm sure you went throughalgebra.
Come on, you can get you knowget a worksheet off the computer
, my heavens and.
(10:16):
But there it wasn't.
It wasn't like something thatthey were open or willing to do
for for us personally.
So I had to come home andhomeschool.
I did find an online schoolthat was very supportive, that
um would align with his academicprowess, if you will, and let
(10:37):
him take multiple years at atime so that he could be where
he wanted and needed to be at.
And then I, you know, have mydaughter, who was in all of the
schools you know, physically andeverything.
And it wasn't until junior highkind of I would say the end of
(10:58):
elementary into junior high thatthis piece that you're exactly
talking about, this emotionalwellness and emotional
well-being, started to be soaffected.
And me personally, I said noway, like I heard.
This part of her is so muchmore important to me than her
(11:19):
writing a book report, doing ascience project.
Not that I don't want her I'mgoing to give you know she's
going to have education, but atthe same breath I'm not going to
allow her to continue to be inthese environments that are not
changing for the wellness of ourchildren, that they see that
(11:41):
it's unwell but they're stillnot doing anything about it,
even when prompted with ideas orresources or anything else, and
it just yeah, it's almost comesto a point where I just I'm not
quite sure how all of theseother children are getting
getting on getting along outthere.
Now that we've brought her home,we're focusing on that
(12:03):
emotional well-being.
We want that piece to be inplace.
So if she does want to go backto school someday, that won't be
the part that she's strugglingwith.
She'll have that support andmaybe self-knowledge or
self-confidence.
You know that, understandingthat the peer kind of judgment
(12:27):
isn't necessary.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, yeah, well, it's funny because you know,
listening to you talk about bothexperiences, they're both the
same in the terms of how toincorporate kids like that.
(13:09):
And schools generally, teachersgenerally, principals generally
, superintendents they approachteaching like they're fishing
with a big net.
Let's just say there's 30 fishand they got to catch them all.
They'll throw a net in andthey'll catch, you know, 26 fish
, right, with that one net, andso that's what they're used to
doing, and meanwhile, three orfour kids who don't get caught
(13:32):
in the net end up suffering,right, and you know, some
teachers are getting better atdifferentiating their
instructions so they can adapt,whether it be enriching or
modifying academics, like foryour son right there, he needed
to be enriched.
The problem that I thinkschools are facing is that,
(13:53):
because the behavior has shiftedso drastically, where we're at
schools, having to deal withbehavioral issues in classes
that are much more drastic andup and down, and it's just been
going on for the last 15 years,so a long time, right, because
of that, it makes it harder forteachers to prep and plan and to
(14:14):
differentiate their instruction, and so that's where guys like
me need to have, you know, know,school districts, schools have
me come in so we can do anemotional audit of a school
where we can examine the mentalhealth of the kids.
Sorry, I shouldn't say mentalhealth, emotional intelligence.
(14:35):
What we want to do is we wantto look at the emotional
intelligence of the kids, theemotional intelligence of the
staff, of the leadership, of thesecretarial stuff, just the
emotional intelligence of howthe school runs.
And you know, you can useemotional intelligence to look
at the actual structure of aschool.
So when I look at your son inthe primary grades, you know how
(14:59):
was the school structured tosupport that classroom teacher?
It sounds like the schoolwasn't structured correctly to
have him be supported with wherehe is in math, allowing for
that enrichment, and to take thepressure off the teacher
because the teacher's puttingout fires left, right and center
just trying to survive.
(15:19):
And so that's where I think alot of principals in a lot of
school districts, they don'tknow how to incorporate an
emotionally intelligentstructure organization into
their schools while developingpersonal and professional
emotional intelligence in theirkids and their staff, if that
makes sense.
And then, if you move on, ifyou move on to middle, middle
(15:42):
schools, junior highs, et cetera, yes, schools probably have
guidance counselors in them.
You know two or three guidancecounselors for five or 600 kids,
but they can't have the impacton the kids that they need to,
because you would have toconnect with someone like your
daughter every day to make sureshe's learning the strategies to
cope with the mean girl stuffor the pressure and anxiety of
(16:05):
maintaining your academics.
And again, that's where youknow somebody like me comes in,
helps a school district or helpsa school with developing that
emotionally intelligentstructure and organization and
helping develop that emotionalintelligence in the staff and
the students.
So people like your daughterare mentally strong enough
(16:26):
because they have the emotionalintelligence to cope with those
barriers and those roadblocks.
But also so teachers have acommon language and a common
understanding of emotions andthe science behind it themselves
.
So they can support from classto class to class.
So your daughter is getting thecorrect support.
So they can support from classto class to class.
So your daughter's getting thecorrect support.
On top of having a structure, asystem in place where, if she
needs to you know, get out of aclass because it's too much or
(16:47):
something, she has access tothat person who can help her
persevere through the rest ofthe day, build up that stamina
and that stability and grow andgain that strength to go back
the next day right, and you know, it's one of those things that
it's about thinking outside thebox and unfortunately we're in
this transition phase wheresocial, emotional learning and
(17:09):
emotional intelligence are not akey pillar in schools.
I know it's being brought intoschools and it's being thrown at
teachers, but they really don'tknow how to implement it and
they don't know how to embed itand infuse it into what they do
every day.
And so I think we're gettingclose and right now.
So what happens?
When you don't know how toimplement you know that
(17:31):
emotional intelligence componentor that social emotional
component into your schools, youjust fall back to.
You know what.
Let's focus on literacy more.
Let's focus on numeracy more.
You know what?
Let's focus on literacy more.
Let's focus on numeracy more.
Let's just let's enhance ourpedagogy and our instructional
practices and hope that if wechange the way we teach and if
we differentiate enough, the kidwill grab on, even though
they're not going to grab onuntil they're mentally stable
(17:53):
enough or emotionallyintelligent enough to cope with
the stress of it.
Right.
And so what you're describing isa point in our educational
system which is why I wrote myfirst book is that we're on the
cusp of this crisis in schools.
You know a mental health crisisin our schools evolve.
You know we're not just around.
You know reading, writing andarithmetic, but behavior
(18:25):
education as well, thatemotional intelligence piece,
that social emotional learningpiece.
Because even as adults, ifyou're an adult who's not
emotionally intelligent, you'regoing to say or do something
stupid that's going to offendpeople or you know you're not
going to think of your common,your neighbor, the right way, or
be able to.
You know mom and your neighborthe right way, or be able to,
you know, just be accepting andand being kind and a lot of
(18:50):
those things.
I think you know when you can'tdo those things, it creates
division and and all kinds ofthings and and that's hard for
kids when they're trying tolearn how to be good people
growing up and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
If that makes sense?
Oh, absolutely, what tell meyour.
Let's talk about the book.
What is the title of the book?
Do you have a copy you couldshow us and hold up?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I don't know if you can see it, yeah, perfect yeah
there's all three of my books upthere.
My first book is calledEmotional Schools the Looming
Mental Health Crisis and aPathway Through it.
The second book is just.
It's a breathing strategy bookthat I created to help classroom
teachers and parents, to helpthem co-regulate their
(19:30):
children's emotionaldysregulation.
So it helps them learn tosoothe through breathing and
being mindful, because that'spart of being able to soothe.
You know your dive into thepolyvagal nerve and how that
affects our whole body, but ithelps you calm it.
And then my third book I justactually wrote.
It's on leadership.
It's called A New LeadershipParadigm, beyond Credentials and
(19:51):
the Letters Behind your Name.
Because we have this.
We live in this world where ifpeople have the doctor behind
their name or whatnot, andthey're a school leader or a
superintendent or if they're inbusiness, that all of a sudden
they must be the best at itbecause they have doctor behind
their name.
But at the end of the day, youknow the letters behind your
name gets you in the door.
But it doesn't make you a goodleader, it doesn't make you
(20:12):
somebody who's in it for theright reasons, it doesn't make
you somebody who's going to.
You know, do right by all ofthe people in your buildings,
and so it's a three-part series.
I'm actually in the middle ofwriting my fourth book.
That revolves around thedecline in play and how that's,
you know, affecting, you know,our kids' ability to persevere
(20:35):
and to have that grit and rigorbecause they just don't have the
, you know, the ability to gothrough those trials and
tribulations through play thatwe did when there was no digital
age Right.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Yeah, absolutely no, and I I really love that.
I love the work you're doing.
I think that it's so important.
I think that it's the missingpiece in so many problems in the
education system.
And how do you implement like,how would you start to implement
(21:08):
that sort of audit on to aschool and how do you gather
that information to be able todo that?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, well, and you know it's as basic as a
questionnaire.
An emotional audit is basically.
I don't know if you know what afunctional behavior assessment
is, do you know what one?
of those is yeah, I'm sure youdo.
So.
It's the same idea where,basically, you know a teacher or
a kid will answer a series ofquestions.
They'll put one to five.
On a scale of one to five, itfeels like this, feels like that
(21:39):
, and at the end you'll get geta.
It'll spit out a result thatsays, okay, your emotional
intelligence is average, verygood, good, or, you know, below
average.
I wouldn't use the wordhorrible, but you know what I
mean.
And so what it does is it givesus a pinpoint, because the last
thing you want to do is you,you don't want to walk into a
school that's average and treatthem like they're below average.
(22:00):
You want to do is you don'twant to walk into a school
that's average and treat themlike they're below average.
You want to build on whereschools are at right and same
with kids.
If you have kids that are strongin terms of their social,
emotional well-being, theirability to regulate, their
ability to manage their emotionsand not become victims to their
feelings, you want to basicallybe able to start kids in
(22:23):
schools where they're at andthen from there, you want to
introduce a common language.
You want to teach them how toembed using emotionally
intelligent language intoeverything they do.
So every time there's abehavioral issue, you refer to
the common language and yourefer to the strategy of
breathing and being mindful forthem to get through and cope
(22:43):
through that stressor with someco-regulation with the teacher.
When they're really young andas they get older, it's more of
a reminder.
It's like, hey, dude, take somedeep breaths.
I know this math test is tough.
I know your university entrancerequirement is going to weigh
heavily on how you do on thistest.
But let's take some deep breath, let's be mindful, let's be in
the moment.
Remember that common languagewe've been learning, remember
(23:05):
that we can do it.
And you're just in the momentof when people are experiencing
those emotional difficulties.
It's basically when you havethat common language and you
have that ingrained into yoursystem.
It becomes the you know I don'twant to say I don't take
religion out of this, but I'llsay it becomes their Bible of
how to be emotionallyintelligent.
(23:26):
It gives them that this is mygo-to camp feeling like this.
It's like you know, as adultswe have, I can call somebody
that I know I can lean on, orthere's certain quotes that I
can read, or I know I can takesome deep breaths or go for a
walk, or I have strategies thatI use to kind of soothe my mind,
soothe my soul, so I'm in agood place, and it's about
developing those things at anearly age.
(23:47):
And at the early ages, like inprimary school, elementary
school, middle school, you useplay to help elicit emotions, to
teach kids to self-soothe andself-regulate.
And as kids get into the highschool era, it's more word-based
and it's more acting on in themoment, being reactive to when
they're feeling disgruntled orhaving difficulties and giving
(24:08):
them the tools and reminders ofbreathing and being mindful.
Massive industry around helpingadults with their mental health
, around helping adults dealwith stress and surviving their
jobs and friendships andmarriages and financial
(24:31):
situations, and a lot of itrevolves around being able to
calm yourself so you can thinkright.
And if you can think, then youcan make the right decisions and
you don't go down rabbit holes.
And so really it's about earlyon using play, reincorporating
free and structured play backinto your schools to help guide
(24:53):
kids through learning aboutbreathing and mindfulness.
And then, as you progress, thatbecomes ingrained and they learn
how to do it on their own.
And then as you get into thehigh schools and whatnot.
It's about having teacherstrained and students trained and
reminded about emotionalintelligence and what tools they
have in their toolbox that theydevelop from elementary schools
(25:14):
.
And then, as you go along toand as you're, as I do these
workshops that I'm working withelementary, middle school and
high schools, I'm trainingteachers as well, so it not only
helps them help kids, but ithelps them with their own
personal lives.
So it's really I mean theworkshops I do are five hours
long, so trying to explain it ina two minute three minute
podcast, but I think you get theidea of it.
(25:35):
It's about implementingemotional intelligence
strategies, doing an audit, soyou're not wasting time starting
up at a place you don't need towith some cause you could.
I like I go into schools andthey're toxic, toxic, toxic, and
you got to start from basic.
Then I'll go into schools andit's like wow, you guys are
doing great.
And some schools will come tome it's like yeah, we're here,
we're on the cusp.
(25:56):
I think our academics could beour key kids, or C plus kids.
We want them A and B.
So I'm like, okay, let me comein at that level.
Here's how we attack it andlet's get them to A's and B's.
Let's develop that rigor, let'sdevelop that grit and
perseverance, right, Whereasother schools you're going way
back and just teaching them howto play without getting into a
fight with each other.
Yeah, Right.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Does that make sense?
And so that's the emotionalaudit piece, which kind of gives
you a baseline of where tostart.
So was there like one specificthing that happened?
That was like the aha momentfor you that this is what needs,
this is what I'm going to do tochange this.
Was there anything specific?
I'm thinking I'm hoping there'sa good story behind that.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah, it was kind of a gradual aha.
So I started 25 years ago andyou know, I started my career in
a.
It was called a foundationalclass.
It's back in the day.
They used to stream kids, kidswho had special needs, kids with
behaviors they put them allinto one class, right, and they
wouldn't include them.
So I always worked with kidsthat were vulnerable and at risk
(27:01):
and so, which was fine, Ifigured it out.
I quite enjoyed it.
I had the EA support.
I was disappointed that my kidscouldn't be included in things
and eventually, you know, withinthree or four years, society
shifted, school system shiftedand kids began to be more
included and the trouble kind ofstarted to come when.
You know, we started being moreinclusive with kids but there
(27:26):
wasn't the funding to supportthem with education, ea
education assistance or specialed assistance or the dollars for
more programs or the funding tohave a higher special ed
teacher and so, but eventuallythat got better too.
It's still a problem, but whatstarted to happen about 10, 15
years ago is the sleepdeprivation.
With the onset of the digitalage I had more and more kids
coming in falling asleep inclass, being disinterested in
(27:49):
school, and teaching becameharder and harder.
We had to get more and morecreative with how we taught, and
the more creative we got, youknow, it just seemed like the
less interested kids were, and alot of that is because you know
video games.
When a kid plays a video gamethey get a dopamine hit, a
reward, every five seconds.
So you can imagine a teachertrying to teach, you know kids,
(28:11):
sentence structure with apredicate and a subject, and to
capitalize this and put a periodon that which takes 15 minutes,
with a 15 minute lesson, right,and you can, you can see kids
just kind of go right, and so itkind of started there.
And then from there I was likeokay, there, there has to be,
there's something happening.
And there, and then from thereit kind of shifted into this.
(28:33):
Kids all of a sudden freakingout or having tantrums or being
unable to deal with smallstressors like their pencil
breaks, and all of a suddenthey're flipping a desk or just
not being able to tolerate anadult being the authoritarian in
a room and all of a suddenthey're pushing back with a
(28:54):
disrespectful way, which then Ithink ties into not only the
digital age but in this agewhere all of a sudden the
nuclear family is one where bothparents have to go to work,
right, and so then you have thissituation where both parents
are working.
So kids now are not onlyplaying video games but they're
being raised by whatever they'reseeing on social media.
So, and you know, it was kindof that moment with sleep
(29:17):
deprivation, these kidsinability to handle small
stressors, and that's where Iwas like, and it was like I said
it's probably 10 or 15 yearsago.
And then you know we're kind ofplugging through, doing our
best, you know, fighting thefight, and then all of a sudden
COVID hits, and then now youhave kids aren't going to school
(29:37):
and everybody's trying to teachkids online.
Well, if kids could learnonline, they'd all be in online
learning and and you know, beinghomeschooled and not in schools
, parents aren't teach.
I, I was a principal and Istruggled having my kids at home
.
I actually went.
I can't do this, do you?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
know what I mean.
I don't know how I do some daysand I don't some days.
You know, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
That's the thing.
And so you know.
And then and then now.
So we're in this epidemic,actually worldwide.
Not only is there behavioralissues, because kids can't cope
with the smallest distressorsand because they're sleep
deprived, we're also seeingattendance right around the
world as a huge problem.
Kids aren't coming to schoolanymore.
Like kids are just like I don'twant to go to school, I want to
(30:21):
sleep in and parents trying toget ready for work and whatnot,
and they don't want to have thefight and they don't want to
battle taking the phone away.
And so we have this perfectstorm of parents having to work,
not wanting to fight the socialmedia battle, not.
Parents are also gettingaddicted to technology and being
on their phones too much, whichmeans they're not playing as
much with their kids.
Parents are afraid to sendtheir kids outside because
(30:44):
they're afraid they're going toget kidnapped or hurt, so that
free play where kids learn thoseskills is gone.
To go join a swim club or agymnastics team or play
community soccer, the cost ofthose things has gone through
the roof.
So you know, the structured playcosts too much money.
And then even in schools here inCanada we're seeing, you know,
(31:05):
even in high schools, ourbasketball programs, our
volleyball programs, we'reseeing less and less tournaments
, less and less, because schoolscan't afford it, because the
funding's not there, and Iwished you know schools would
realize and school districtswould realize, okay, we're going
to need to dump some money intothings like drama and fine arts
and sports, because that's whatkids are passionate about and
that's what helps the behavior.
(31:25):
And that's what kids arepassionate about and that's what
helps the behavior and that'swhat keeps them coming to school
.
But instead they keep spinningtheir wheels and dumping money
into numeracy and literacy andassessment practices and you
know all these things, and andthey're not getting to the root
of what has to happen withsocial emotional learning, slash
emotional intelligence, becausethat's the key to the shift is
(31:46):
making having a group of kidsand teachers and parents
understand their own emotions sothey can do the right thing
Right.
And so so, yeah, I mean to makea short answer long or a long
answer short it started?
it started with sleepdeprivation and it's like that
snowball going down a hill andit just got, got bigger and
(32:09):
bigger and bigger.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Exasperated by covid fascinating, it's absolutely
fascinating.
And I, in a sense our family,went through kind of like a tiny
micro version of that with thesleep, um, kind of a sleep
patterns that I finally, at somepoint, after my son would sleep
all of the time during his, youknow, therapy sessions, I
(32:32):
finally started to recognizelike I can't keep putting him to
sleep with melatonin everynight.
This isn't working.
Like I started tracking andwatching his actual sleep
schedule and letting him justnaturally go to sleep when he
needed to and wake up, and Ireally started to follow that
and I was able to cause I washome, you know, at home with him
(32:53):
, but what a difference it hasmade in our life.
I mean, it's been maybe eightyears now, so it's been very
long time, um, but he sleepslike the moon every two weeks in
the night, every two weeksduring the day, every, and it
wasn't anything you know.
Um, the rest of our familydoesn't, my husband does a kind
of a version of.
(33:14):
That is why I finallyrecognized and said wait a
second, I need to look at this alittle bit more clearly.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
But for him.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Yeah, and I just really had to follow that
somatic, you know kind ofanswers he was showing me and
just say, ok, I have to followthis and it doesn't make sense
for society, it doesn't makesense for a lot of you know, for
the educational schedule.
But luckily, like again, wecould, I could make that work in
(33:44):
different ways.
Like again, we could, I couldmake that work, and in different
ways.
Um, but overall now, um, he'svery.
I mean, he's still working onreciprocative language and
things.
There's a lot of work to go, ofcourse, but, um, his actual,
like health and like he doesn'tget upset hardly ever.
(34:05):
It's very, very few and farbetween that he is upset and I
mean we would get upset.
Going to the grocery store,getting into the car, getting
out of the car, getting, youknow, every transition was
upsetting.
So I'm really-.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Which is pretty typical with kids who have
autism.
Transitions are I have yet sohard.
A thousand kids with autism andevery one of them has had an
issue with the transition.
Right it's?
It's just something that's like, okay, we're about to switch,
and that's where timers come in.
It's like, let me, let me tellyou a half an hour before here
I'm going to set a timer becausejust so you know right, and if
(34:40):
you don't, oh boy.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Now he controls his own alarms and his own timers
and his own.
I give him, you know, the.
This is when something's goingto happen.
He's ready, he's got his shoeson, he's at the front door, he's
ready to go.
He's like it's.
Everything has been so mucheasier when I've really
recognized to follow both of mychildren's kind of their own
patterns and not try to force orchange them into something that
works for me and I know that'sreally hard for parents to hear,
or parents to force or changethem into something that works
(35:07):
for me, and I know that's reallyhard for parents to hear, or
parents to identify or evenimagine that they wouldn't
control every moment of theirchild's life to be like theirs.
But my husband and I justreally like kind of embraced the
sense that hey, if we can justkind of grow this plant in the,
(35:29):
you know, in the right sunlightthat it needs, not where we
think it looks best and kind ofthings, then different things
will happen.
And we really have and it'sshown us such a much more
positive, successful way ofbeing the parents to them.
Whoops and whatever that means.
I don't know what that was, um,but yeah it's.
(35:50):
It's amazing how, uh, just kindof that giving into.
Um, I think feeling beingemotionally intelligent
ourselves and recognizing thatthey, uh, their needs and their
wellbeing is is so important.
They can learn and get all ofthe books and have all of the
math problems and everything intheir lifetime.
(36:13):
That's not going to besomething they're going to miss,
but they are going to misshaving these moments where we
can sit down and have theseconversations, these deep,
meaningful conversations aboutwhat we do with our emotions and
how we manage them and how wetreat others when we are upset,
(36:34):
or things like that.
And so, yeah, it's definitelylike this beautiful learning
roller coaster.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Well, you know what you just you just nailed on the
middle school, high school,component of emotional
intelligence.
So you, outlining thoseconversations, like you just
outlined very clearly, of whatwe do when we do this, how we do
that, Like you just listed abunch of strategies and could
you imagine if every teacherresponded to kids the same way
you just talked about, and thattakes a common language, right.
(37:03):
And that's where you know Icome in with the common language
.
Here you go, here's a commonlanguage.
You know you can see thesecolored posters.
These are the key conceptsaround that.
Yeah and so.
But having that and knowing asa parent, you know that a
socials, English, math, science,French teacher oh, you guys
don't take French down thereprobably that's a Canadian thing
, Canadian thing, Spanish maybe.
But you know.
(37:24):
But knowing that when they'rein high school, because they
have, you know, they're in asemester system, they have four
teachers, sometimes five or six,with electives that each
teacher can guide your kidstowards having that open
dialogue around.
Okay, let's be emotionallyintelligent here.
This is what are you feeling,how are you feeling and why are
(37:45):
you feeling it and how do we fixit.
And knowing every teacher willhave that conversation, because
they have access to somethingthat guides them to helping kids
.
Because that's what's missingright now is teachers don't have
that thing that guides them toaccessing that, and literally.
So, instead of saying to a kid,you know, just get out of my
class, go to the office, Insteadof doing that, which then could
turn into get out in thehallway, let me go have a
(38:06):
conversation for a minute, twominutes, Instead of that saying
hey, hey, hey, you know what?
Look at that blue poster upthere.
That's this, this is whatyou're feeling.
Remember that.
Take some deep breaths.
You got this and to have thatand then that kid being
reinforced every class, all day,every day, by five, six, seven
adults plus at home.
It's a game changer, right, andto make you feel better, I let
(38:28):
my kids at school sleep.
I have every day I'll have akid fall asleep on a couch in my
cause.
I don't have a principal'soffice, I have a calming space
where they come in and they,they, they'll sleep for an hour
or two.
I'll wake them up after an hour.
So it's it's better than havingforcing them to try to stay
awake and not learning orgetting into a fight with them
or sending them home.
I'd rather you want to come andsleep for an hour.
Let's get you back and pick upwhere you're at, and that's what
(38:50):
I do, Cause there's no pointfighting it Like we did 15 years
ago saying you know what I'mgoing to call your parents.
You need to get to bed, Causeit just doesn't happen that way.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Right, oh, this has been such a great conversation.
I'm so happy that we connectedand I hope that we can stay in
touch because I think thatthere's a lot we could share and
learn and teach others betweenwhat you and I have going on.
That's wonderful.
Tell us where we can go to findout more information about you,
(39:25):
where my listeners and viewerscan go to reach out to you If
they'd like to get in touch.
I know there are quite a fewteachers and hopefully some
principals that might belistening, so hopefully we will
take advantage of this wonderfulinformation.
Where can we go to find out?
Speaker 2 (39:42):
They can.
They can just go to LeroySlanzicom Wonderful yeah.
Then go to Lee.
Sure, they can just go toleroyslanzicom Wonderful yeah,
they can go to.
I'm in the process of evolvinginto a different website and
stuff.
That's about three or fourmonths away.
But right now leroyslanzicom ithas my contact information on
there.
There's a phone number.
You can also email me atleroyslanzi, at gmailcom, and I
have no problem getting on aphone call, doing a consultation
(40:03):
see where you're at.
And that's all free.
By the way, there's no moneybeing charged until there's an
actual contract signed with megoing into a school.
But I'm definitely.
I'm here to have a conversation.
Like I get teachers emailing meall the time saying this is
what I'm feeling, this is what'sgoing on, and I end up, you
know, free of charge.
Sometimes I'm like God, I dohave a teacher consultant
business, but I'm terrible at itbecause I never charge.
(40:29):
I'm just always like, yeah,because I get excited and I want
to help, so yeah, they can goto my website, they can email me
and I'm here for parents andteachers and you know as much as
I can be.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Well, it's been such a wonderful time to have this
conversation with you.
I hope that we can stay intouch and please keep doing this
amazing work you're doing.
I hope that somebody in theUnited States can also pursue
the same yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I can come to the United States.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Come on down.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
I know there's a lot of chaos going down in your
world, but my sister works inCalifornia so I think I'll be
safe there and I can do it.
There's visas and permits.
I can come down to present,present and stuff, so you can
bring me down.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
It's all good.
Oh, that sounds so great.
Well, thank you so much foryour time today, and I really
looking forward to staying intouch.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Great, awesome.
Thank you, sarah.
Thank you, sarah.
Have a great rest of your day.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
You too, shining bright, oh yeah.
Stories of love and courage allthroughout the night, her voice
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She's changing the world foryou with her heart and speech
(42:21):
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The SJ Child Show is Backford's 13th season.
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This season we're excited tobring you more autism summits
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Congratulations on 2024's20,000 downloads and 300
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Hi and welcome to the SJ ChildShow.
It's so nice to be here todayand I am joined with Leroy Leroy
(00:42):
.
How do I pronounce your lastname so that I don't do it any
injustice?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, that's fine, it's Slancy.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I would have gone right there, so it would have
been okay, right, it's so niceto meet you.
I'm looking forward touncovering more about what you
do and I read a lot on yourprofile and website, so I'm
really fascinated to get intothis conversation.
Lot on your profile and website, so I'm really fascinated to
get into this conversation.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Tell us a little bit about yourself and what kind of
what brought you here today.
Sure, yeah, well, first andforemost, I'm a dad.
I have two kids.
I have a teenager who's in hisfirst year of college this year
and a daughter who's in grade 11.
So I'm coming to the end ofraising kids at home and
learning how to raise kids whenthey're away from home.
They're almost a little moreneedy, I'm finding, as they ask
(01:31):
for more money.
So, which is great, it's greatmy son's doing well and I'm
grateful that I get to supporthim in his future.
And other than that, I'm aprincipal of an elementary
school currently.
I've been a principal ofelementary middle high schools,
run the whole gamut, been at itfor about 25 years.
(01:52):
I've written a few books, I doa lot of workshops for teachers
around emotional intelligenceand I'm trying to reinvigorate,
you know, our education systembecause it's starting to fail in
a lot of places all over theworld.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, yeah, definitely, and it's interesting
and, like you said, all overthe world, because I was going
to say how is the school system,how does it differ if you know
from, you know american, fromthe usa schools and what does
that look like as far as, uh,running the same kind of system?
(02:32):
Or are we, you know, the samecurriculum style?
What does that look like?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
yeah, well, I I can't .
I can speak on behalf ofbritish columbia, because that's
where I'm at.
Here in canada we do have afederal education system, but
the provinces have more controlover what we do.
But in terms of just a generalidea, in Canada we have public
school systems, we haveindependent school systems, we
(02:57):
have private school systems,just like you do in the States,
just like they do in, you know,australia, new Zealand, the
United Kingdom.
I think that's kind of how itworks.
And you know the private schoolsystems may be inclined to be
more religious or focus on someother stream or characterization
(03:17):
that they choose to go down.
I, for example, I'm not in thepublic system anymore.
I actually left two years ago.
I work for an Indian band, so Iwork in an Indigenous school.
Yeah, and it's been probablythe best move I've ever made in
my life, working with Indigenouspeople and I'm learning so much
.
Yeah.
(03:38):
And it's wonderful because, youknow, the incorporation of
land-based learning, thehands-on type learning, into
reading, writing and arithmeticis just amazing.
So that's an example.
Being an independent school anda public school here in Canada,
you do get on the land, but youdon't get to go and get on the
land every day because it coststoo much, right?
So in that sense it's the same.
(04:02):
I think I do know and I don'twant to toot our horn up here I
do know that Canada usuallyranks in the top three in the
world in terms of theireducational system.
I love that.
Yeah, who's toot your horn?
Yeah, well, you know Alberta,our province next door, actually
in 2022 ranked number one inthe world in reading.
(04:22):
So I'm kind of ticked at thembecause I think we were seven.
But they actually, in 2022,ranked number one in the world
in reading, so I'm kind ofticked at them because I think
we were seven, but they areCanadian, so that's okay, but
otherwise, yeah, no, I think oursystems are the same and I have
a lot of conversations withteachers from the United States
and I interact a lot withsuperintendents and principals
from all over the world, andwe're all running into the same
issue globally, and that's youknow our, the behavior of our
(04:44):
kids, and that has shifteddrastically, which has come in
turn with the digital, digitalage we live in isn't that the
truth?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
I think there's so many multiple facets to that
environmental, you know,processed foods there's just a
gamut of unfortunate things thatcreate unhealthy lifestyles
which then breed to unhealthyminds.
(05:14):
And in fact I have a children'sbook series and the tagline is
like healthy minds createhealthy futures, and I
completely agree with that.
And they're about special needsand how to, um, you know,
express or share that experiencewith the typical peers and how
(05:38):
they can better support oneanother and really just learn to
humanize one another andrecognize that in kindness is
where we'll have growth and that, yeah, all the other stuff just
takes a toll and brings us theother direction.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
So, yeah, well that's a beautiful, beautiful book
series.
I actually have a master's inspecial ed, so that's I kind of.
I started my career as aspecial ed teacher before I
became an administrator.
So kind of near and dear to myheart there, sarah oh wonderful.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Well, I have a family of all autistics and and so,
and a daughter that is, ahusband that are dyslexic, and
so for me, it was reallyrecognizing the injustice, if
you will, that they were kind ofreceiving, with people not
understanding them in their peercircles, and I didn't know how
to bridge that gap or how toreally fulfill that for them,
(06:35):
which is very personal anyways.
But you know, as a parent, as asuper parent, you want to try
to get in there and do whateveryou can.
You want to try to get in thereand do whatever you can.
And I just felt like when theywere really little, kind of
expressing to them that, hey,it's OK, there's, you know,
we've we wrote a book about howcool this is and how different
differences are beautiful andunique and should be widely
(07:00):
accepted, rather than the others.
So, yeah, that was, but hey, wecan get not my about my books
but yeah, I want to hear moreabout yours, that's so great,
it's okay.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Well, I think we're practicing the same beliefs
because, you know, that's onething that's very important, it
has been very important to meover the course of my career is
inclusion.
And you know, one of the mainarguments, you know, around
inclusion, around having kidswith special needs in classroom,
is that they educate the kidsaround them.
(07:32):
I mean, a lot of people will gowell, they should be included
in math, they should be includedin assemblies, they should be
yeah, they of course they shouldbe.
There's, there's no, but whatthey're missing is the power
these kids have on developingempathy and kindness in other
kids.
You know, to the point where I,my kids, are more prone to
being kind to the students whohave special needs than they are
(07:55):
to their classmates right.
And it comes down to a lot of itis it's a visible disability,
so there's just that naturalcaring that comes out.
It's like oh, you know what,they're clearly struggling,
because I can see it, and sothat's where I try to work with
kids in schools, to have kidsalso that they actually may, and
so the key is to just be kindto everyone and treat everyone
(08:29):
the same right.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Absolutely, and it really I see in we have I'm kind
of the same way I have a25-year-old stepdaughter, so
I've finished my in-homeparenting for that person.
And then you know we have a 15year old who is a high support
(08:52):
needs and a 13 year old withvery low support needs.
So it's very interesting theyou know range and the spectrum
that we get to kind of perceiveand support along the way.
And I see how the for my son,the school system failed him at
(09:14):
the very beginning.
At the very beginning he washyper lexic.
He was reading at one, writingat two and the school was just
like no way.
When he was in kindergarten hewas, I guess, first grade, he
(09:34):
was doing algebra and of courseI had provided all of these
educational tools for himbecause I saw that he had this
love and this want for thesethings.
But the school system I thought, oh, I can't wait till he goes
to school.
This is going to be great, youknow, this is the perfect place
for him.
And they just said decline,decline.
(09:55):
We cannot teach someone likehim on the level that he's at.
Sorry, and I was so shocked andin disbelief that I was hearing
this, thinking you all haveteaching degrees.
I'm sure you went throughalgebra.
Come on, you can get you knowget a worksheet off the computer
, my heavens and.
(10:16):
But there it wasn't.
It wasn't like something thatthey were open or willing to do
for for us personally.
So I had to come home andhomeschool.
I did find an online schoolthat was very supportive, that
um would align with his academicprowess, if you will, and let
(10:37):
him take multiple years at atime so that he could be where
he wanted and needed to be at.
And then I, you know, have mydaughter, who was in all of the
schools you know, physically andeverything.
And it wasn't until junior highkind of I would say the end of
(10:58):
elementary into junior high thatthis piece that you're exactly
talking about, this emotionalwellness and emotional
well-being, started to be soaffected.
And me personally, I said noway, like I heard.
This part of her is so muchmore important to me than her
(11:19):
writing a book report, doing ascience project.
Not that I don't want her I'mgoing to give you know she's
going to have education, but atthe same breath I'm not going to
allow her to continue to be inthese environments that are not
changing for the wellness of ourchildren, that they see that
(11:41):
it's unwell but they're stillnot doing anything about it,
even when prompted with ideas orresources or anything else, and
it just yeah, it's almost comesto a point where I just I'm not
quite sure how all of theseother children are getting
getting on getting along outthere.
Now that we've brought her home,we're focusing on that
(12:03):
emotional well-being.
We want that piece to be inplace.
So if she does want to go backto school someday, that won't be
the part that she's strugglingwith.
She'll have that support andmaybe self-knowledge or
self-confidence.
You know that, understandingthat the peer kind of judgment
(12:27):
isn't necessary.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, yeah, well, it's funny because you know,
listening to you talk about bothexperiences, they're both the
same in the terms of how toincorporate kids like that.
(13:09):
And schools generally, teachersgenerally, principals generally
, superintendents they approachteaching like they're fishing
with a big net.
Let's just say there's 30 fishand they got to catch them all.
They'll throw a net in andthey'll catch, you know, 26 fish
, right, with that one net, andso that's what they're used to
doing, and meanwhile, three orfour kids who don't get caught
(13:32):
in the net end up suffering,right, and you know, some
teachers are getting better atdifferentiating their
instructions so they can adapt,whether it be enriching or
modifying academics, like foryour son right there, he needed
to be enriched.
The problem that I thinkschools are facing is that,
(13:53):
because the behavior has shiftedso drastically, where we're at
schools, having to deal withbehavioral issues in classes
that are much more drastic andup and down, and it's just been
going on for the last 15 years,so a long time, right, because
of that, it makes it harder forteachers to prep and plan and to
(14:14):
differentiate their instruction, and so that's where guys like
me need to have, you know, know,school districts, schools have
me come in so we can do anemotional audit of a school
where we can examine the mentalhealth of the kids.
Sorry, I shouldn't say mentalhealth, emotional intelligence.
(14:35):
What we want to do is we wantto look at the emotional
intelligence of the kids, theemotional intelligence of the
staff, of the leadership, of thesecretarial stuff, just the
emotional intelligence of howthe school runs.
And you know, you can useemotional intelligence to look
at the actual structure of aschool.
So when I look at your son inthe primary grades, you know how
(14:59):
was the school structured tosupport that classroom teacher?
It sounds like the schoolwasn't structured correctly to
have him be supported with wherehe is in math, allowing for
that enrichment, and to take thepressure off the teacher
because the teacher's puttingout fires left, right and center
just trying to survive.
(15:19):
And so that's where I think alot of principals in a lot of
school districts, they don'tknow how to incorporate an
emotionally intelligentstructure organization into
their schools while developingpersonal and professional
emotional intelligence in theirkids and their staff, if that
makes sense.
And then, if you move on, ifyou move on to middle, middle
(15:42):
schools, junior highs, et cetera, yes, schools probably have
guidance counselors in them.
You know two or three guidancecounselors for five or 600 kids,
but they can't have the impacton the kids that they need to,
because you would have toconnect with someone like your
daughter every day to make sureshe's learning the strategies to
cope with the mean girl stuffor the pressure and anxiety of
(16:05):
maintaining your academics.
And again, that's where youknow somebody like me comes in,
helps a school district or helpsa school with developing that
emotionally intelligentstructure and organization and
helping develop that emotionalintelligence in the staff and
the students.
So people like your daughterare mentally strong enough
(16:26):
because they have the emotionalintelligence to cope with those
barriers and those roadblocks.
But also so teachers have acommon language and a common
understanding of emotions andthe science behind it themselves
.
So they can support from classto class to class.
So your daughter is getting thecorrect support.
So they can support from classto class to class.
So your daughter's getting thecorrect support.
On top of having a structure, asystem in place where, if she
needs to you know, get out of aclass because it's too much or
(16:47):
something, she has access tothat person who can help her
persevere through the rest ofthe day, build up that stamina
and that stability and grow andgain that strength to go back
the next day right, and you know, it's one of those things that
it's about thinking outside thebox and unfortunately we're in
this transition phase wheresocial, emotional learning and
(17:09):
emotional intelligence are not akey pillar in schools.
I know it's being brought intoschools and it's being thrown at
teachers, but they really don'tknow how to implement it and
they don't know how to embed itand infuse it into what they do
every day.
And so I think we're gettingclose and right now.
So what happens?
When you don't know how toimplement you know that
(17:31):
emotional intelligence componentor that social emotional
component into your schools, youjust fall back to.
You know what.
Let's focus on literacy more.
Let's focus on numeracy more.
You know what?
Let's focus on literacy more.
Let's focus on numeracy more.
Let's just let's enhance ourpedagogy and our instructional
practices and hope that if wechange the way we teach and if
we differentiate enough, the kidwill grab on, even though
they're not going to grab onuntil they're mentally stable
(17:53):
enough or emotionallyintelligent enough to cope with
the stress of it.
Right.
And so what you're describing isa point in our educational
system which is why I wrote myfirst book is that we're on the
cusp of this crisis in schools.
You know a mental health crisisin our schools evolve.
You know we're not just around.
You know reading, writing andarithmetic, but behavior
(18:25):
education as well, thatemotional intelligence piece,
that social emotional learningpiece.
Because even as adults, ifyou're an adult who's not
emotionally intelligent, you'regoing to say or do something
stupid that's going to offendpeople or you know you're not
going to think of your common,your neighbor, the right way, or
be able to.
You know mom and your neighborthe right way, or be able to,
you know, just be accepting andand being kind and a lot of
(18:50):
those things.
I think you know when you can'tdo those things, it creates
division and and all kinds ofthings and and that's hard for
kids when they're trying tolearn how to be good people
growing up and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
If that makes sense?
Oh, absolutely, what tell meyour.
Let's talk about the book.
What is the title of the book?
Do you have a copy you couldshow us and hold up?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I don't know if you can see it, yeah, perfect yeah
there's all three of my books upthere.
My first book is calledEmotional Schools the Looming
Mental Health Crisis and aPathway Through it.
The second book is just.
It's a breathing strategy bookthat I created to help classroom
teachers and parents, to helpthem co-regulate their
(19:30):
children's emotionaldysregulation.
So it helps them learn tosoothe through breathing and
being mindful, because that'spart of being able to soothe.
You know your dive into thepolyvagal nerve and how that
affects our whole body, but ithelps you calm it.
And then my third book I justactually wrote.
It's on leadership.
It's called A New LeadershipParadigm, beyond Credentials and
(19:51):
the Letters Behind your Name.
Because we have this.
We live in this world where ifpeople have the doctor behind
their name or whatnot, andthey're a school leader or a
superintendent or if they're inbusiness, that all of a sudden
they must be the best at itbecause they have doctor behind
their name.
But at the end of the day, youknow the letters behind your
name gets you in the door.
But it doesn't make you a goodleader, it doesn't make you
(20:12):
somebody who's in it for theright reasons, it doesn't make
you somebody who's going to.
You know, do right by all ofthe people in your buildings,
and so it's a three-part series.
I'm actually in the middle ofwriting my fourth book.
That revolves around thedecline in play and how that's,
you know, affecting, you know,our kids' ability to persevere
(20:35):
and to have that grit and rigorbecause they just don't have the
, you know, the ability to gothrough those trials and
tribulations through play thatwe did when there was no digital
age Right.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Yeah, absolutely no, and I I really love that.
I love the work you're doing.
I think that it's so important.
I think that it's the missingpiece in so many problems in the
education system.
And how do you implement like,how would you start to implement
(21:08):
that sort of audit on to aschool and how do you gather
that information to be able todo that?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, well, and you know it's as basic as a
questionnaire.
An emotional audit is basically.
I don't know if you know what afunctional behavior assessment
is, do you know what one?
of those is yeah, I'm sure youdo.
So.
It's the same idea where,basically, you know a teacher or
a kid will answer a series ofquestions.
They'll put one to five.
On a scale of one to five, itfeels like this, feels like that
(21:39):
, and at the end you'll get geta.
It'll spit out a result thatsays, okay, your emotional
intelligence is average, verygood, good, or, you know, below
average.
I wouldn't use the wordhorrible, but you know what I
mean.
And so what it does is it givesus a pinpoint, because the last
thing you want to do is you,you don't want to walk into a
school that's average and treatthem like they're below average.
(22:00):
You want to do is you don'twant to walk into a school
that's average and treat themlike they're below average.
You want to build on whereschools are at right and same
with kids.
If you have kids that are strongin terms of their social,
emotional well-being, theirability to regulate, their
ability to manage their emotionsand not become victims to their
feelings, you want to basicallybe able to start kids in
(22:23):
schools where they're at andthen from there, you want to
introduce a common language.
You want to teach them how toembed using emotionally
intelligent language intoeverything they do.
So every time there's abehavioral issue, you refer to
the common language and yourefer to the strategy of
breathing and being mindful forthem to get through and cope
(22:43):
through that stressor with someco-regulation with the teacher.
When they're really young andas they get older, it's more of
a reminder.
It's like, hey, dude, take somedeep breaths.
I know this math test is tough.
I know your university entrancerequirement is going to weigh
heavily on how you do on thistest.
But let's take some deep breath, let's be mindful, let's be in
the moment.
Remember that common languagewe've been learning, remember
(23:05):
that we can do it.
And you're just in the momentof when people are experiencing
those emotional difficulties.
It's basically when you havethat common language and you
have that ingrained into yoursystem.
It becomes the you know I don'twant to say I don't take
religion out of this, but I'llsay it becomes their Bible of
how to be emotionallyintelligent.
(23:26):
It gives them that this is mygo-to camp feeling like this.
It's like you know, as adultswe have, I can call somebody
that I know I can lean on, orthere's certain quotes that I
can read, or I know I can takesome deep breaths or go for a
walk, or I have strategies thatI use to kind of soothe my mind,
soothe my soul, so I'm in agood place, and it's about
developing those things at anearly age.
(23:47):
And at the early ages, like inprimary school, elementary
school, middle school, you useplay to help elicit emotions, to
teach kids to self-soothe andself-regulate.
And as kids get into the highschool era, it's more word-based
and it's more acting on in themoment, being reactive to when
they're feeling disgruntled orhaving difficulties and giving
(24:08):
them the tools and reminders ofbreathing and being mindful.
Massive industry around helpingadults with their mental health
, around helping adults dealwith stress and surviving their
jobs and friendships andmarriages and financial
(24:31):
situations, and a lot of itrevolves around being able to
calm yourself so you can thinkright.
And if you can think, then youcan make the right decisions and
you don't go down rabbit holes.
And so really it's about earlyon using play, reincorporating
free and structured play backinto your schools to help guide
(24:53):
kids through learning aboutbreathing and mindfulness.
And then, as you progress, thatbecomes ingrained and they learn
how to do it on their own.
And then as you get into thehigh schools and whatnot.
It's about having teacherstrained and students trained and
reminded about emotionalintelligence and what tools they
have in their toolbox that theydevelop from elementary schools
(25:14):
.
And then, as you go along toand as you're, as I do these
workshops that I'm working withelementary, middle school and
high schools, I'm trainingteachers as well, so it not only
helps them help kids, but ithelps them with their own
personal lives.
So it's really I mean theworkshops I do are five hours
long, so trying to explain it ina two minute three minute
podcast, but I think you get theidea of it.
(25:35):
It's about implementingemotional intelligence
strategies, doing an audit, soyou're not wasting time starting
up at a place you don't need towith some cause you could.
I like I go into schools andthey're toxic, toxic, toxic, and
you got to start from basic.
Then I'll go into schools andit's like wow, you guys are
doing great.
And some schools will come tome it's like yeah, we're here,
we're on the cusp.
(25:56):
I think our academics could beour key kids, or C plus kids.
We want them A and B.
So I'm like, okay, let me comein at that level.
Here's how we attack it andlet's get them to A's and B's.
Let's develop that rigor, let'sdevelop that grit and
perseverance, right, Whereasother schools you're going way
back and just teaching them howto play without getting into a
fight with each other.
Yeah, Right.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Does that make sense?
And so that's the emotionalaudit piece, which kind of gives
you a baseline of where tostart.
So was there like one specificthing that happened?
That was like the aha momentfor you that this is what needs,
this is what I'm going to do tochange this.
Was there anything specific?
I'm thinking I'm hoping there'sa good story behind that.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yeah, it was kind of a gradual aha.
So I started 25 years ago andyou know, I started my career in
a.
It was called a foundationalclass.
It's back in the day.
They used to stream kids, kidswho had special needs, kids with
behaviors they put them allinto one class, right, and they
wouldn't include them.
So I always worked with kidsthat were vulnerable and at risk
(27:01):
and so, which was fine, Ifigured it out.
I quite enjoyed it.
I had the EA support.
I was disappointed that my kidscouldn't be included in things
and eventually, you know, withinthree or four years, society
shifted, school system shiftedand kids began to be more
included and the trouble kind ofstarted to come when.
You know, we started being moreinclusive with kids but there
(27:26):
wasn't the funding to supportthem with education, ea
education assistance or specialed assistance or the dollars for
more programs or the funding tohave a higher special ed
teacher and so, but eventuallythat got better too.
It's still a problem, but whatstarted to happen about 10, 15
years ago is the sleepdeprivation.
With the onset of the digitalage I had more and more kids
coming in falling asleep inclass, being disinterested in
(27:49):
school, and teaching becameharder and harder.
We had to get more and morecreative with how we taught, and
the more creative we got, youknow, it just seemed like the
less interested kids were, and alot of that is because you know
video games.
When a kid plays a video gamethey get a dopamine hit, a
reward, every five seconds.
So you can imagine a teachertrying to teach, you know kids,
(28:11):
sentence structure with apredicate and a subject, and to
capitalize this and put a periodon that which takes 15 minutes,
with a 15 minute lesson, right,and you can, you can see kids
just kind of go right, and so itkind of started there.
And then from there I was likeokay, there, there has to be,
there's something happening.
And there, and then from thereit kind of shifted into this.
(28:33):
Kids all of a sudden freakingout or having tantrums or being
unable to deal with smallstressors like their pencil
breaks, and all of a suddenthey're flipping a desk or just
not being able to tolerate anadult being the authoritarian in
a room and all of a suddenthey're pushing back with a
(28:54):
disrespectful way, which then Ithink ties into not only the
digital age but in this agewhere all of a sudden the
nuclear family is one where bothparents have to go to work,
right, and so then you have thissituation where both parents
are working.
So kids now are not onlyplaying video games but they're
being raised by whatever they'reseeing on social media.
So, and you know, it was kindof that moment with sleep
(29:17):
deprivation, these kidsinability to handle small
stressors, and that's where Iwas like, and it was like I said
it's probably 10 or 15 yearsago.
And then you know we're kind ofplugging through, doing our
best, you know, fighting thefight, and then all of a sudden
COVID hits, and then now youhave kids aren't going to school
(29:37):
and everybody's trying to teachkids online.
Well, if kids could learnonline, they'd all be in online
learning and and you know, beinghomeschooled and not in schools
, parents aren't teach.
I, I was a principal and Istruggled having my kids at home
.
I actually went.
I can't do this, do you?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
know what I mean.
I don't know how I do some daysand I don't some days.
You know, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
That's the thing.
And so you know.
And then and then now.
So we're in this epidemic,actually worldwide.
Not only is there behavioralissues, because kids can't cope
with the smallest distressorsand because they're sleep
deprived, we're also seeingattendance right around the
world as a huge problem.
Kids aren't coming to schoolanymore.
Like kids are just like I don'twant to go to school, I want to
(30:21):
sleep in and parents trying toget ready for work and whatnot,
and they don't want to have thefight and they don't want to
battle taking the phone away.
And so we have this perfectstorm of parents having to work,
not wanting to fight the socialmedia battle, not.
Parents are also gettingaddicted to technology and being
on their phones too much, whichmeans they're not playing as
much with their kids.
Parents are afraid to sendtheir kids outside because
(30:44):
they're afraid they're going toget kidnapped or hurt, so that
free play where kids learn thoseskills is gone.
To go join a swim club or agymnastics team or play
community soccer, the cost ofthose things has gone through
the roof.
So you know, the structured playcosts too much money.
And then even in schools here inCanada we're seeing, you know,
(31:05):
even in high schools, ourbasketball programs, our
volleyball programs, we'reseeing less and less tournaments
, less and less, because schoolscan't afford it, because the
funding's not there, and Iwished you know schools would
realize and school districtswould realize, okay, we're going
to need to dump some money intothings like drama and fine arts
and sports, because that's whatkids are passionate about and
that's what helps the behavior.
(31:25):
And that's what kids arepassionate about and that's what
helps the behavior and that'swhat keeps them coming to school
.
But instead they keep spinningtheir wheels and dumping money
into numeracy and literacy andassessment practices and you
know all these things, and andthey're not getting to the root
of what has to happen withsocial emotional learning, slash
emotional intelligence, becausethat's the key to the shift is
(31:46):
making having a group of kidsand teachers and parents
understand their own emotions sothey can do the right thing
Right.
And so so, yeah, I mean to makea short answer long or a long
answer short it started?
it started with sleepdeprivation and it's like that
snowball going down a hill andit just got, got bigger and
(32:09):
bigger and bigger.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Exasperated by covid fascinating, it's absolutely
fascinating.
And I, in a sense our family,went through kind of like a tiny
micro version of that with thesleep, um, kind of a sleep
patterns that I finally, at somepoint, after my son would sleep
all of the time during his, youknow, therapy sessions, I
(32:32):
finally started to recognizelike I can't keep putting him to
sleep with melatonin everynight.
This isn't working.
Like I started tracking andwatching his actual sleep
schedule and letting him justnaturally go to sleep when he
needed to and wake up, and Ireally started to follow that
and I was able to cause I washome, you know, at home with him
(32:53):
, but what a difference it hasmade in our life.
I mean, it's been maybe eightyears now, so it's been very
long time, um, but he sleepslike the moon every two weeks in
the night, every two weeksduring the day, every, and it
wasn't anything you know.
Um, the rest of our familydoesn't, my husband does a kind
of a version of.
(33:14):
That is why I finallyrecognized and said wait a
second, I need to look at this alittle bit more clearly.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
But for him.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Yeah, and I just really had to follow that
somatic, you know kind ofanswers he was showing me and
just say, ok, I have to followthis and it doesn't make sense
for society, it doesn't makesense for a lot of you know, for
the educational schedule.
But luckily, like again, wecould, I could make that work in
(33:44):
different ways.
Like again, we could, I couldmake that work, and in different
ways.
Um, but overall now, um, he'svery.
I mean, he's still working onreciprocative language and
things.
There's a lot of work to go, ofcourse, but, um, his actual,
like health and like he doesn'tget upset hardly ever.
(34:05):
It's very, very few and farbetween that he is upset and I
mean we would get upset.
Going to the grocery store,getting into the car, getting
out of the car, getting, youknow, every transition was
upsetting.
So I'm really-.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Which is pretty typical with kids who have
autism.
Transitions are I have yet sohard.
A thousand kids with autism andevery one of them has had an
issue with the transition.
Right it's?
It's just something that's like, okay, we're about to switch,
and that's where timers come in.
It's like, let me, let me tellyou a half an hour before here
I'm going to set a timer becausejust so you know right, and if
(34:40):
you don't, oh boy.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Now he controls his own alarms and his own timers
and his own.
I give him, you know, the.
This is when something's goingto happen.
He's ready, he's got his shoeson, he's at the front door, he's
ready to go.
He's like it's.
Everything has been so mucheasier when I've really
recognized to follow both of mychildren's kind of their own
patterns and not try to force orchange them into something that
works for me and I know that'sreally hard for parents to hear,
or parents to force or changethem into something that works
(35:07):
for me, and I know that's reallyhard for parents to hear, or
parents to identify or evenimagine that they wouldn't
control every moment of theirchild's life to be like theirs.
But my husband and I justreally like kind of embraced the
sense that hey, if we can justkind of grow this plant in the,
(35:29):
you know, in the right sunlightthat it needs, not where we
think it looks best and kind ofthings, then different things
will happen.
And we really have and it'sshown us such a much more
positive, successful way ofbeing the parents to them.
Whoops and whatever that means.
I don't know what that was, um,but yeah it's.
(35:50):
It's amazing how, uh, just kindof that giving into.
Um, I think feeling beingemotionally intelligent
ourselves and recognizing thatthey, uh, their needs and their
wellbeing is is so important.
They can learn and get all ofthe books and have all of the
math problems and everything intheir lifetime.
(36:13):
That's not going to besomething they're going to miss,
but they are going to misshaving these moments where we
can sit down and have theseconversations, these deep,
meaningful conversations aboutwhat we do with our emotions and
how we manage them and how wetreat others when we are upset,
(36:34):
or things like that.
And so, yeah, it's definitelylike this beautiful learning
roller coaster.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Well, you know what you just you just nailed on the
middle school, high school,component of emotional
intelligence.
So you, outlining thoseconversations, like you just
outlined very clearly, of whatwe do when we do this, how we do
that, Like you just listed abunch of strategies and could
you imagine if every teacherresponded to kids the same way
you just talked about, and thattakes a common language, right.
(37:03):
And that's where you know Icome in with the common language
.
Here you go, here's a commonlanguage.
You know you can see thesecolored posters.
These are the key conceptsaround that.
Yeah and so.
But having that and knowing asa parent, you know that a
socials, English, math, science,French teacher oh, you guys
don't take French down thereprobably that's a Canadian thing
, Canadian thing, Spanish maybe.
But you know.
(37:24):
But knowing that when they'rein high school, because they
have, you know, they're in asemester system, they have four
teachers, sometimes five or six,with electives that each
teacher can guide your kidstowards having that open
dialogue around.
Okay, let's be emotionallyintelligent here.
This is what are you feeling,how are you feeling and why are
(37:45):
you feeling it and how do we fixit.
And knowing every teacher willhave that conversation, because
they have access to somethingthat guides them to helping kids
.
Because that's what's missingright now is teachers don't have
that thing that guides them toaccessing that, and literally.
So, instead of saying to a kid,you know, just get out of my
class, go to the office, Insteadof doing that, which then could
turn into get out in thehallway, let me go have a
(38:06):
conversation for a minute, twominutes, Instead of that saying
hey, hey, hey, you know what?
Look at that blue poster upthere.
That's this, this is whatyou're feeling.
Remember that.
Take some deep breaths.
You got this and to have thatand then that kid being
reinforced every class, all day,every day, by five, six, seven
adults plus at home.
It's a game changer, right, andto make you feel better, I let
(38:28):
my kids at school sleep.
I have every day I'll have akid fall asleep on a couch in my
cause.
I don't have a principal'soffice, I have a calming space
where they come in and they,they, they'll sleep for an hour
or two.
I'll wake them up after an hour.
So it's it's better than havingforcing them to try to stay
awake and not learning orgetting into a fight with them
or sending them home.
I'd rather you want to come andsleep for an hour.
Let's get you back and pick upwhere you're at, and that's what
(38:50):
I do, Cause there's no pointfighting it Like we did 15 years
ago saying you know what I'mgoing to call your parents.
You need to get to bed, Causeit just doesn't happen that way.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Right, oh, this has been such a great conversation.
I'm so happy that we connectedand I hope that we can stay in
touch because I think thatthere's a lot we could share and
learn and teach others betweenwhat you and I have going on.
That's wonderful.
Tell us where we can go to findout more information about you,
(39:25):
where my listeners and viewerscan go to reach out to you If
they'd like to get in touch.
I know there are quite a fewteachers and hopefully some
principals that might belistening, so hopefully we will
take advantage of this wonderfulinformation.
Where can we go to find out?
Speaker 2 (39:42):
They can.
They can just go to LeroySlanzicom Wonderful yeah.
Then go to Lee.
Sure, they can just go toleroyslanzicom Wonderful yeah,
they can go to.
I'm in the process of evolvinginto a different website and
stuff.
That's about three or fourmonths away.
But right now leroyslanzicom ithas my contact information on
there.
There's a phone number.
You can also email me atleroyslanzi, at gmailcom, and I
have no problem getting on aphone call, doing a consultation
(40:03):
see where you're at.
And that's all free.
By the way, there's no moneybeing charged until there's an
actual contract signed with megoing into a school.
But I'm definitely.
I'm here to have a conversation.
Like I get teachers emailing meall the time saying this is
what I'm feeling, this is what'sgoing on, and I end up, you
know, free of charge.
Sometimes I'm like God, I dohave a teacher consultant
business, but I'm terrible at itbecause I never charge.
(40:29):
I'm just always like, yeah,because I get excited and I want
to help, so yeah, they can goto my website, they can email me
and I'm here for parents andteachers and you know as much as
I can be.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Well, it's been such a wonderful time to have this
conversation with you.
I hope that we can stay intouch and please keep doing this
amazing work you're doing.
I hope that somebody in theUnited States can also pursue
the same yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I can come to the United States.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Come on down.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
I know there's a lot of chaos going down in your
world, but my sister works inCalifornia so I think I'll be
safe there and I can do it.
There's visas and permits.
I can come down to present,present and stuff, so you can
bring me down.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
It's all good.
Oh, that sounds so great.
Well, thank you so much foryour time today, and I really
looking forward to staying intouch.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Great, awesome.
Thank you, sarah.
Thank you, sarah.
Have a great rest of your day.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
You too, shining bright, oh yeah.
Stories of love and courage allthroughout the night, her voice
resonating an anthem for all.
Through the trials and thetrials, she answers the call.
Her mother and her fatherbreaking barriers and strife.
Her love is her guide.
She'll never hide.
She's changing the world foryou with her heart and speech
(42:21):
and strong Bye.
44,000 voices sharing in life.
She stands for family,advocates for more Movement of
compassion.
Ways we'll soar Podcaststogether.
Symphony of support, creatinglife changing rapport.
(42:42):
She's changing the world foryou With a heart that's fierce
and strong.
Empathy is the melody in ajourney we all belong.
To her eye, a vision clear.
Together we ride, sheddingfears.
In every heart, she plants theseed of understanding and love.
(43:02):
For dearly me, it's a changingworld for you, with a heart
that's fierce and strong.
(43:23):
Empathies and melodies In ajourney we all belong.
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