June 27, 2025 • 31 mins
Welcome to summer, Butterflies! ☀️ In this solo episode of The Sober Butterfly Podcast, host Nadine kicks off the season with a fun and empowering guide to having your best summer yet—without alcohol. From movement routines to mocktail orders, Nadine shares her Hot Girl Sober Summer Essentials List—10 intentional, joy-filled tools to help you feel confident, grounded, and free all summer long.
You’ll hear:
✨ The 10 Essentials for a Hot Girl Sober Summer
🥂 How to craft your go-to non-alcoholic drink order
🎶 Why every sober girl needs a mood-boosting playlist
🧘🏾♀️ The power of routines, movement, and mindful spending
🧡 A reminder that you don’t need alcohol to have a beautiful summer
👯♀️ Details on the upcoming Hot Girl Sober Summer in Central Park event happening July 20th!
🎵 Hot Girl Sober Summer Playlist → Listen on Spotify
🗓️ Join us IRL!
Save your spot for the Hot Girl Sober Summer event in Central Park with Nadine, Kat (@soberfitgirl), and Rachel (@soberincentralpark) – tickets available here!
🔗 Resources & Links:
- 🎶 Playlist: Hot Girl Sober Summer – Spotify
- 🎟️ Event Tickets: Hot Girl Sober Summer in Central Park
- 💌 Connect: Follow Nadine on Instagram @the.soberbutterfly
💬 If you enjoyed this episode:
✔️ Rate & review the show
✔️ Share it with a sober bestie
✔️ Tag @the.soberbutterfly in your Hot Girl Sober Summer moments!
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services refereed to in this episode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06-26- (00:01):
So summer is officially here and
your feed is probably overrunwith images of girls sipping
margaritas on rooftops or AALspritzes on boats and clinking
glasses in every direction.
You do not need any of that toenjoy your summer.
In fact, I'm gonna say it's toodamn hot to be drinking in 90
(00:22):
plus degree Fahrenheit weatherdehydration, sunburn, hangovers.
I think I'll pass.
so this list is all about makingthe most of your summer without
compromising your glow.
It's about main character,energy, sober confidence, and
building a lifestyle.
That feels aligned, notperformative
the-sober-butterfly_2_06 (00:42):
Hello.
Hello, butterflies and welcomeback to the Sober Butterfly
Podcast, your go-to destinationfor living your boldest,
brightest alcohol free life.
I am your host, Nadine.
Today we are kicking off the newseason with something I've
decided is now officially asummer tradition here at the
Sober Butterfly, the hot girlsober summer essentials list.
(01:07):
So if you've been following theshow, you may remember last year
the episode I did called SummerGlow Up Tips for the Ultimate
Transformation.
This year I'm back with anupdated list because we can only
keep evolving metamorphosizinghere, butterflies.
Today I am sharing 10 essentialsto cultivate a spirit of joy
(01:29):
while ultimately prioritizingyour health, wellness, and peace
of mind.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06-26- (01:36):
if you are looking to connect IRL.
Don't miss our Hot Girl Sobersummer event in Central Park on
July 20th.
Hosted by yours truly, Kat fromSober Fit Girl and Rachel from
Sober in Central Park.
the-sober-butterfly_4_06-26- (01:52):
it is going to be the sober event
of the summer think movement,mocktails new friendships and
sun drenched vibes.
Tickets are in my bio and theyare already selling out fast, so
do not sleep on this.
Okay, without further ado, let'sget into the 10 essentials.
Every sober girl needs thissummer
the-sober-butterfly_3_06- (02:12):
Maybe grab a notebook,'cause you're
gonna be taking notes.
Let's get into it.
the-sober-butterfly_5_06-2 (02:19):
Kick starting list.
List at number one, we have aplaylist.
We gotta start with the vibes.
Okay?
Music is everything.
It can help shift your mood,motivate you, help you grieve
that Situationship q sad girlmusic playlist, or it can make
you feel unstoppable.
And I put together a hot girlsober summer playlist on Spotify
(02:43):
for all my butterflies.
My music taste is trulyeverywhere.
I know people say that, but no,like I mean it.
Um, just know you're going tohear everything from Burna Boy
Beyonce lana Delrey, beachBunny, um, Billie Eilish, Olivia
Rodrigo, the Marias.
(03:04):
It, it's just all over theplace, so keep that in mind.
I really do love it all,
the-sober-butterfly_6_06-26 (03:09):
The idea for playlist came to mind
because I was talking to one ofmy girlfriends and she mentioned
Cardi B's new song outside,she's like, that's gonna be the
anthem of the summer.
Yeah, it is the summer anthem.
It's very much giving old Cardi,like when she first released her
debut album.
what was that song?
You can't.
Mm.
If you wanted to, this is, thisis Red Bottoms.
(03:31):
I'm, I'm not that girl from 20,what was that?
2018 But it was just a nice likereminder that summer we get to
be, I.
A little bit feral.
We get to be a little bit wild.
I'm thinking back to last year,brat summer was a whole thing.
And I loved it.
I loved that we got to like havethat unhinged wild girl come
out.
I think this year I'm gonna be abit more inside, but the Cardi B
(03:55):
song was fun, so I also threwthe on there.
'cause I love to listen to musicas I get ready.
No, I'm not pre-gaming, but itjust really pumps me up and I'm
like, yeah, I am that girl.
So if you haven't heard CardiB's new song outside, it's on
that playlist.
Okay.
the-sober-butterfly_1_06-2 (04:12):
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Summer sober tip.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (04:17):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
This is why I told you to takenotes.
the-sober-butterfly_5_06-2 (04:22):
Make your own playlist and have ones
for different moods, your maincharacter walk right, or your
self care night, or you'regetting ready for the day
playlist.
Just let the music set the tonebefore the world does.
the-sober-butterfly_8_06- (04:40):
Okay, coming in at number two, hot
girls have signature drinkswithout alcohol, so I recommend
having a go-to non-alcoholicdrink order And having that
already in mind for when you goto brunch or if you're on a date
or if you're chilling at thecookout or barbecue, or if you
(05:01):
just wanna feel included andconfident when ordering.
It's just great to already havesomething in mind.
And just like reminiscent ofwhen I used to drink my drinking
gaze.
I would have drinks for theseason.
You know, I was drinking rose inthe summer, right on the
rooftop.
I was drinking a hot totty inthe fall, whatever it may be.
So I feel like we need to bringthat same energy when it comes
(05:24):
to choosing seasonal drinks.
So my go-to for this summer is Ilike a little spice.
I like a little kick a littlebte, so I'm doing like a spicy
ginger beer with lime and mintor even sparkling water.
But lime and mint is superrefreshing or I appreciate
adaptogen moments, so like arecess or a moment, and that's
(05:48):
great for when you wanna chill.
So you can't always rely onthose brands or like those
adaptogenic drinks being out andabout.
But if you're at home, you candefinitely make sure that your
fridge is stocked with thosethings.
I do plan on being somewhatoutside this summer, so if I'm
out and about, like if I'm at abar, I'm going to ask the
bartender what non-alcoholicoptions they have, even if
(06:11):
there's nothing I.
On the menu, like on the drinkmenu.
Although I really don't thinkthat's likely because so many
places have non elk options andeven if they do have a whole
section devoted to non elkdrinks, I like to be a little
extra sometimes and just asklike, Hey, like what do you
recommend?
Or can you whip something up?
I can't tell you how many drinksthere are that exist in the
(06:32):
ether in the world of bartendersjust naming drinks after me
because I've been like, Hey, canyou make me this thing?
Like bartenders reallyappreciate.
Putting to good use.
I'll say this, good bartendersreally appreciate putting to
good use their mixology skills.
So if you tell them like, oh, Ilike, you know, a little bit of
kick, or I don't like supersweet, like they can, you know,
(06:54):
whip you something up right thenand there on the spot and get to
show off.
So don't be afraid toconfidently ask them to make you
something, whether it's on themenu or not.
the-sober-butterfly_2_06-27- (07:05):
My girl Rachel from sober in
Central Park, sent over hergo-to non ALK drink for the
summertime and when she sent meher choices, I almost fell out.
I was like, Rachel, we are soaligned, we are so in sync.
I love your Rex, so let's listento what she has to share.
(07:31):
My favorite non-alcoholicbeverage for the summer.
It's curious to elixirs.
Definitely.
They're number six, which istheir coconut oat milk
painkiller with lemon bal andnut mag.
Or they're number two, which istheir spicy pineapple Margarita
means of dark and stormy, and ithas Damian it in it, which is a
natural duac.
So period selections all year.
(07:52):
But in the summer for hot girlssober summer, we're drinking a
number six.
the-sober-butterfly_2_06 (07:57):
Number two, number six.
You heard Rachel also shamelessplug for Hot Girl Sober summer
because Curious Elixirs, they'responsoring the event.
So make sure you pull up to HotGirl Sober summer in Central
Park this July 20th from six to8:00 PM So you can experience
Rachel's tasting menu foryourself.
(08:18):
See you there.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (08:20):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
the-sober-butterfly_8_06-26 (08:23):
And just as a little pro tip, in
case you are not feeling asconfident about your sobriety or
ordering drinks.
That don't contain alcohol,especially if you're with people
who are drinking.
I would recommend practicing,like actually practice your
order before going out so thatyou're not caught off guard.
You can also preview the menu ifyou know where you're going so
(08:45):
that you can make sure that youalready know what to expect.
And if you are hosting thissummer, always have any options
on deck.
For guest, even last week on theshow with Sarah explaining at
her wedding, she had anon-alcoholic signature drink
and that one actually was morefavorable.
Like it was completely gonecompared to the other signature
(09:05):
drink that had alcohol in it.
So you never know, like unlessyou have options.
So just as a rule of thumb,always have some kind of any
option whether you're sober ornot.
the-sober-butterfly_11_06 (09:18):
Okay.
Number three is definitely anessential.
I mean, they're all essentials,but this one is high on my list,
a movement routine that feelsgood.
I wanna ditch this idea of asummer body or a hot body even,
and just embrace a sober, strongbody.
And the way to really obtain asober, strong body is through
(09:41):
movement.
And movement by the way, is notjust about your physical or your
vessel, it's also about mentaland emotional health.
You are defining what that lookslike for you.
Personally, I'm not a gym girly.
I partnered with New York SportsClub this year and I can count.
(10:02):
Okay.
I was gonna say, I can count onehand, maybe two hands how many
times I went with a freemembership.
I'm just not a gym girly.
I like movement.
I fact I need to move my body,but I'm more into, group
classes.
I love Pilates.
I love dance.
(10:22):
I love just being in connectionand community with other people,
which is why going back to ourSober Hot Girls summer in
Central Park event, it's goingto be so fun moving with you
guys with Kat and I thinkthere's just something to be
said about being immersed in asetting with other people who
are equally struggling.
It's like, oh my God, like youlook to your left, you look to
(10:42):
your right, and everyone isstruggling to do the plank, stay
in that position, all thethings.
So for me, I'm all about movingmy body in connection with other
people something I also wannareconnect with more is nature.
I want to get outside more.
So I'm planning on doing somehiking this summer.
While there are beautiful parkshere in New York, it's not great
(11:03):
for hiking, but if I take atrain for an hour and change, I
can be close to w thewilderness.
So that's my plan this summer.
I am gonna take the train northand look for some opportunities
to really move my body throughhiking, and that for me feels
like a great way to connect mymind and body.
And so yeah, I encourage you todo whatever it is that will help
(11:24):
you feel strong and Sexy thissummer.
the-sober-butterfly_12_06-26 (11:30):
So coming in at number four is
hobbies.
This one is big.
Every hot girl needs her hobbytrio.
So one hobby that could make youmoney.
One hobby that keeps youcreative and one hobby that
keeps you in shape.
So for me, content creation ismy moneymaker, my creative
(11:53):
outlet, painting and podcastingand movement like.
Pilates keeps my body and mindin sync.
Finding hobbies for me was soimportant getting sober because
I realized I didn't really havehobbies.
Before getting sober.
That's not unique to me.
I have lots of conversationswith people who have shared
(12:15):
similar sentiments arounddrinking, being their hobby
before sobriety.
I thought I had hobbies.
I'd be like, oh, I like to cook,but cooking was not the main
event for me when I wasdrinking.
It would be me uncorking thatbottle of bread and basically
drinking the whole bottle beforedinner was even served.
So I had to really, I.
(12:37):
Redefine what fun looked likefor me, what hobbies look like
for me.
And another thing to keep inmind is that perfectionist
mentality.
Because painting, for example,being one of my creative
outlets, I'm not good.
I just wanna put that on therecord guys.
I'm not a good painter.
I'm not doing it because I'mgood at it.
I'm not doing it because I'mperfect.
(12:57):
Or even striving for perfection.
As much as I love art andfrequently go to museums and
such.
I don't wanna be a painter.
That's not my end goal.
So I think it's also equallyimportant to do things for the
sake of doing them and notalways striving for perfection,
because that was something thatI struggled with too.
(13:17):
It's like, if I'm not good atit, I don't wanna do it.
But that's not healthy either.
So, you know, I think a big partof creativity is also like
working through a struggle.
So yeah.
Those are mine.
I am interested to learn fromyou.
What's your trio?
Let me know.
You can DM me or tag me onInstagram at the period, sofa,
(13:38):
butterfly.
I would love to hear from youand share some of them.
the-sober-butterfly_13_0 (13:44):
Number five, a fucking break.
excuse my language, I feel likesummer we do so much because,
you know, coming out of winterand spring we've been confined
to the indoors and so now wewanna do all the things.
But don't forget that you need abreak and this is your sign to
take that PTO babe, to book thattrip.
To do that.
Staycation, go camping, whateveryour version of a break looks
(14:05):
like, do that.
Okay, I'm going to be prettybusy this summer.
I mean like that is.
Not foreign.
That's not new.
That's who I am.
I have to stay busy, but at thesame time, I need to be
intentional about breaks becauseI don't wanna burn out.
It is hot.
I don't wanna burn out.
Okay.
The sun is beaming.
I don't wanna burn out.
(14:25):
Do you guys remember my silentsober summer?
Anyone I mentioned a few weeksago that I wanted to carve out
intentional time this summer forrest and stillness.
I'm calling it my silent sobersummer, and this is basically
where I am limiting phone use.
I am doing more solo dates andI'm reconnecting with myself.
(14:50):
So if you want to join me onthis commitment to resting and
unplugging and retreating whenyou need to.
You don't need permission tojoin me.
But if you want to see what minelooks like, I will let you know.
the-sober-butterfly_14_0 (15:05):
Number six, a summer budget..
Summer it, it's expensive, Is itjust me or is everyone in Europe
right now?
Everyone's outside.
Let's not go broke.
Please don't go broke.
Trying to keep up.
You need to make a fun budget.
Because so often the narrativeis, oh, when you quit drinking,
you start saving.
(15:25):
Like all of a sudden all thismoney is everywhere, and I.
Well think, I think can be truefor some and even for myself.
It was true.
At a certain point, I definitelyregress back to old habits and
we start to think that self-careneeds to be expensive and like
investing all the things.
In fact, I'm gonna reach out toRachel from Rachel Knows Money.
She's a friend of the show.
She's come on.
(15:46):
Twice I believe.
Yes, twice.
Talking just about theimportance of, you know,
financial literacy and how youcan glow up and still live your
best life in sobriety without itnecessarily having to take a
toll on your finances.
And one of my favorite episodesperiod that we've done on the
show is how to stopoverspending.
In sobriety or quote in the nameof self-care because I think so
(16:09):
many like sobriety, wellness,girlies, like we do all the
things right?
And while we are investing inourselves, it doesn't
necessarily have to beexpensive.
And I just feel that it's reallyeasy to lose track of your
finances when you're chasingthat vibe or when you're chasing
that like next skincare productthat's like the best thing
(16:29):
that's gonna, I don't know, makeyou look 15 years younger.
If you wanna look 15 yearsyounger, just stop drinking.
Um, but we've already done that.
So what else can we do?
We can make a hot girl budgetwhere we really prioritize what
our monthly expenses look like,I know the word budget just
doesn't sound sexy, and I'mtalking about, you know, how to
(16:50):
have a hot girl summer here, orhot girl sober summer.
But I'm telling you, personalfinance can be sexy at you guys
when you stop overspending andlive within your means, and you
feel secure that you have enoughto cover all your basic living
needs and budget for fun.
I think it just gives us so muchmore assurance that we're good.
(17:12):
And the key piece for me gettingsober was the clarity, right?
And the reality check was mypersonal finances need and
needed some work.
And so a way to do that is justto be real with yourself, okay?
Make that hot girl budget.
A budget doesn't mean that youhave to, you know, live this
(17:33):
really impoverished life whereit's, you know, deficit this and
like there's no money foranything else.
Like you can prioritize what'simportant to you.
And for me, the things that areimportant to me are things like
Pilates and travel.
So like those things are goingto be a line item in my budget,
but that's the thing.
It needs to be a line item in mybudget, within my budget, and
(17:56):
not me, just like swipe, swipe,swipe, and then that credit card
statement comes back and I'mlike, whoa, uh, how am I gonna
pay for this?
So we don't wanna do that.
And I will end here because Ifeel like there will be a part
three conversation with Rachelfrom Rachel Talks money this
summer.
But you don't need to spendmoney to make memories.
You just need intention.
the-sober-butterfly_15_06 (18:20):
Okay, so essentials seven, eight, and
nine.
Need some updates.
Okay, so these are things thatyou may already have in place,
but I'm going to push you toupdate them because I think that
these are things that need tochange, like the seasons, And so
coming in at number seven, wehave an updated routine.
If you're still running withyour winter schedule, it's time
(18:43):
for a change.
It's time for a little glow up,babe.
My summer routine involves earlymorning walks because I can
actually get outside.
I need that vitamin D firstthing in the morning.
Okay?
So I'm gonna be outside doing myhot girl walk with my iced
coffee, then I'm gonna come backinside journal.
(19:04):
I'm gonna make myself a nicelight, refreshing breakfast, and
I really wanna focus on mealprepping.
You guys, I really do love tocook and I'm an excellent cook,
but I have not been cooking andso I need to find a way to
integrate more meal prep andgetting in the kitchen more and
like actually spending timeplanning and thinking through
what I want to eat and not justbecoming like this afterthought,
(19:27):
like literally every day I amlike.
What am I going to eat?
And that's not smart.
It's also not smart for thebudget, so I'm going to be.
Focused on meal prepping thissummer.
How are you going to update yourroutine?
How are you shifting yourroutine this summer to match the
season and if you're thinking toyourself, Nadine, there's
nothing I can change.
I'm literally perfect.
(19:48):
I'm gonna push back babe andsay, no, you're not.
There is no such thing asperfect.
And if you are perfect, you'reboring.
In my book, if you really don'tthink there's room for you to
update your perfect routine, Iwould then just encourage you to
shake stuff up, like switch itup if you normally, Meditate or
journal in the morning, tryjournaling or meditating at
night.
If you drink eight glasses ofwater, I don't know, push
(20:11):
yourself to drink nine.
The whole point is you don'tknow.
so often we become complacent,and the thing about being human
is we need to continue growingand evolving and
metamorphosizing into evenbetter versions of self.
And like, even if you're doingall the things and you think
that everything is good, youdon't know because you are not
(20:32):
giving yourself an opportunityto stretch yourself by switching
things up.
You can open yourself up to thefeedback that you received from.
Switching things up and if youdon't like it, then you don't do
it anymore, but you won't knowunless you try.
the-sober-butterfly_1_06-2 (20:45):
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Summer sober tip.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (20:50):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
This is why I told you to takenotes.
the-sober-butterfly_15_06-26 (20:55):
So my.
Tip for you guys is to choosetwo habits to add to your
routine or update your routine,like more movement or drinking
more water, and also one torelease like overcommitting
yourself guilty or skippingbreakfast also guilty.
So that would be myrecommendation.
(21:16):
Update your routine to matchsummer.
the-sober-butterfly_16_06-26 (21:22):
At number eight, I'm also gonna
recommend that we update ourlook and hear me out here.
Me suggesting that you updateyour look is not because I think
that you need to follow trends.
Although I have bought thecutest cowboy hat that I'm going
to be rocking all summer.
I look like I'm going on tourevery day with Beyonce in this
hat, but it's so cute.
(21:44):
Even in Colorado this past week,There are real cowboys in
Colorado and so, you know, I waslike tipping my hat a cowboy hat
to all the cowboys.
Anyway, you don't need to followtrends.
Okay.
Like me, I am classic andtrendy.
I think it's a hard blend.
I.
But I do it well.
you also don't need to break thebank, but I do think there is
(22:04):
something of value to updatingyour look, to bring in more of
like a fresh vibe that can justmake you feel brand new.
So maybe get banks, no, actuallydo not get banks in the summer.
I take that back to not cutbangs in the summer, but you
know, if you wanna spruce upyour hair or do something, add
some color or get like a littlea, a chop.
It's just so nice to likeintroduce a new look in a new
(22:26):
season.
And it doesn't have to be asdramatic as like cutting bangs.
Once again, do not cut banks inthe summer.
Okay.
But, it could be as simple as abold lip color or finding a
signature scent.
I'm on the p prowl right now forlike my summer scent.
I think a really beautiful colorof the season that I'm noticing
is that like butter, that butteryellow.
(22:48):
So I am looking for a beautifulbutter yellow cardigan.
So if anyone sees that, let meknow.
But I would love to thrift it.
That's another thing I'm tryingto be a bit more sustainable.
so yeah, that's what I'm lookingfor.
And I'm also looking to updatemy sunglasses because this
sounds like such a simple flux,but when I tell you it's big for
me, sunglasses.
(23:10):
The one thing I could never,ever, ever keep when I was
drinking, I, I keep sunglassesnow.
Like I used to like buy designersunglasses and then literally
lose'em a week later.
Like I'd be on a boat andsomehow they'd go missing.
Whether they fell off into theocean or like, I don't know, I
(23:31):
just put them somewherecarelessly and someone picked
them up.
I don't know.
But that was like the one itemthat I.
Consistently would lose.
And now I don't lose my sun, mysuns.
So I'm going to invest in a pairof suns this summer, because I
finally trust myself enough tonot lose'em.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (23:48):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
the-sober-butterfly_16_06-26 (23:51):
So my tip is just to like, think
about.
How you wanna feel this summerand dress in a way that matches
that energy.
You know, I wanna feel elevated,effortless, empowered, all the
things.
So I'm gonna dress like that.
the-sober-butterfly_17_06 (24:08):
Okay.
Number nine, boundaries.
Come on.
You knew I couldn't have anessentials list.
An essentials hot girl, summersober list.
That was a mouthful.
without mentioning boundaries,summer is just so full of
invites and energy pools, andwhen you're sober, you may feel
that pressure to show up morethan you want to.
(24:30):
Whether that's to like show upand show out, which I've done
before.
And what I mean by show up andshow out is like, oh, I'm still
gonna show them.
I don't know who them is.
I'm air quoing, but I'm stillgonna show them.
I'm still the fun, crazy, wildgirl I used to be before
sobriety, and it's like, whetheror not that's true, it's like I,
I don't need to prove anything.
It's not performative, right?
(24:50):
My sobriety's not performative.
But yeah, sometimes I do feelthat pressure to be like, yeah,
I'm still fun and I still wannashow people that sober doesn't
mean boring, but like also guys,I'm in my thirties, I'm, I'm
encroaching my mid thirties.
Like I don't need to always befun.
Or outside, but that's why I sayI'm having a blended summer.
I'm having an indoor outdoorsummer.
But you know, you may feel thatpressure is the point I'm
(25:13):
making, or you may feel thepressure to keep showing up
because you're afraid.
If you say no, then you'll stopgetting invited to things.
These are all real things thatI've like rustled with, so I get
that.
the-sober-butterfly_1_06-2 (25:24):
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Summer sober tip.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (25:29):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
This is why I told you to takenotes.
the-sober-butterfly_17_06-26 (25:35):
So my tip to you is just to check
in with yourself before you sayyes.
and it is as simple as askingyourself do I want to go, or do
I feel like I should go?
Sounds similar, totallydifferent things.
Do I wanna go is, do I actuallywanna go?
Like, am I excited?
How do I feel about thisprospective?
(25:56):
Whatever event, am I excited?
Am I nervous?
Do I feel like I need a drink togo to this thing?
That is a great question becauseI can't tell you how many times
I would show up to thingscompletely drunk or felt the
need to pregame beforehand.
Yes.
Partly because I'm an alcoholic,but also because I simply didn't
wanna go.
And so my nervous system wastrying to communicate that to me
(26:18):
and I was ignoring it andnumbing and drinking.
But the reality is I didn'twanna go to begin with and so I
was drinking more to preparemyself or while at said thing,
event, I'm drinking a lotbecause I don't really wanna be
there.
So it's really important todistinguish, like, do I wanna go
or do I feel like I should gonow?
The should go part.
(26:39):
Here's where it gets funny andtricky with boundaries like.
I do believe in boundaries.
I do think you need to upholdthem, but sometimes let's be
real.
Sometimes we just have to showup even if we don't wanna go.
And if that is the case, I'mtrying to think of an example
where that would be true.
Like we can all think ofsomething.
Maybe it's a work event, I don'tknow, that you have to go to and
it's like my boss told me I needto go to this.
I don't wanna go but.
(27:00):
Like I should go because it's myjob.
And if that is the case,boundaries become even more
essential because you have to beable to communicate when it's
time to go or the fact thatyou're not drinking.
And if you don't wanna go into awhole spiel as to why you're not
drinking, then really practiceyour affirmative nose.
Do you wanna drink?
No.
Thank you.
Awkward pause.
(27:21):
Maybe we're staring at eachother awkwardly in the eye now
because they want me toelaborate why, but I'm not going
to, if you do feel comfortableelaborating, why, practice what
you wanna say.
Have that go-to line no matterwhat.
Whether it's, do I wanna go ordo I feel like I should go, or
do I have to go or am I gonnago, here's the thing.
(27:42):
You just need to have somethingready that you can pull from
your arsenal as a way torespond.
For me, just going back to thatfirst question, do I want to go
or do I feel like I should go?
If it's a situation where it'slike, do I wanna go?
No.
Do I feel like I should go?
No.
I have my go-to line, I like tohit them with gratitude because,
(28:02):
you know, people don't have toinvite you to things.
So it's, thank you so much forthe invite.
And do, do, do, I'm actuallydoing a show night tonight, or I
have to rest up for Pilates inthe morning.
You don't owe an explanation toanyone.
In fact, I feel like the lessyou say, the more power you
hold.
the-sober-butterfly_18_06 (28:25):
Okay, number 10, finally, and maybe
most importantly, no hot girldoes this alone.
We need friends, and we needcommunity.
Community really is your anchor,and if you are looking to meet
like-minded, sober women, cometo our hot girl Sober summer in
Central Park Event on July 20th.
(28:48):
As mentioned in the intro, I'mco-hosting it with KA from Sober
Fit Girl and her team and Rachelfrom Sober in Central Park.
We're gonna be doing movement,mocktails connection, soaking up
the MYC Summer Magic Tickets areavailable in the bio, so make
sure you grab yours now becausewe are going to sell out.
Community doesn't need to be inreal life.
(29:11):
When I got sober, I didn'treally know anyone sober, so I
made friends on sober Instagram.
Now I do have sober friends, andnow I do have a sober community.
You're a part of it, but if youare not.
In a space where you feelconnected to people, or if
you're just not like in New YorkCity or can't come to New York
City mid-July for this event,start something, initiate it.
(29:35):
You can be the change.
I know how cliche that sounds,but like if you can't find what
you're looking for then startsomething.
that's how the sober butterflywas born.
I didn't see what I was lookingfor, so I made it start your own
picnic or your walk club or bookclub or whatever it may be.
Even if it's just two or threegirls in your community or
(29:59):
people in your community, youdon't need to have hundreds.
You don't need to havethousands.
You just need a handful of safe,supportive folks by your side.
the-sober-butterfly_19_06- (30:09):
Here are your 10 essentials for a hot
girl sober summer.
And number one, we have abanging playlist.
Number two, a go-to non-A drinkorder.
Number three, movement or aroutine that feels good for your
sober strong body.
Number four, your summer hobbytrio.
Number five.
(30:30):
A break.
Okay, a break.
Number six, a summer budget.
Number seven, an updatedroutine.
Number eight, an updated look.
Number nine, boundaries.
And number 10, community.
And remember, hot is how youfeel.
It's not how you look.
(30:51):
And remember, you deserve asimmer full of joy, clarity,
connection, without compromisingyour peace or your health.
Just some quick reminders beforeyou go.
Don't forget to listen to theHot Girl Sober summer playlist
on Spotify and please don'tjudge my music taste and don't
(31:11):
miss our hot girl sober summerevent in Central Park on July
20th.
Ticks are available in my bio.
Until next time, stay glowing,stay grounded, and stay sober.
I love you guys so muchbutterflies.
So summer is officially here and
your feed is probably overrunwith images of girls sipping
margaritas on rooftops or AALspritzes on boats and clinking
glasses in every direction.
You do not need any of that toenjoy your summer.
In fact, I'm gonna say it's toodamn hot to be drinking in 90
(00:22):
plus degree Fahrenheit weatherdehydration, sunburn, hangovers.
I think I'll pass.
so this list is all about makingthe most of your summer without
compromising your glow.
It's about main character,energy, sober confidence, and
building a lifestyle.
That feels aligned, notperformative
the-sober-butterfly_2_06 (00:42):
Hello.
Hello, butterflies and welcomeback to the Sober Butterfly
Podcast, your go-to destinationfor living your boldest,
brightest alcohol free life.
I am your host, Nadine.
Today we are kicking off the newseason with something I've
decided is now officially asummer tradition here at the
Sober Butterfly, the hot girlsober summer essentials list.
(01:07):
So if you've been following theshow, you may remember last year
the episode I did called SummerGlow Up Tips for the Ultimate
Transformation.
This year I'm back with anupdated list because we can only
keep evolving metamorphosizinghere, butterflies.
Today I am sharing 10 essentialsto cultivate a spirit of joy
(01:29):
while ultimately prioritizingyour health, wellness, and peace
of mind.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06-26- (01:36):
if you are looking to connect IRL.
Don't miss our Hot Girl Sobersummer event in Central Park on
July 20th.
Hosted by yours truly, Kat fromSober Fit Girl and Rachel from
Sober in Central Park.
the-sober-butterfly_4_06-26- (01:52):
it is going to be the sober event
of the summer think movement,mocktails new friendships and
sun drenched vibes.
Tickets are in my bio and theyare already selling out fast, so
do not sleep on this.
Okay, without further ado, let'sget into the 10 essentials.
Every sober girl needs thissummer
the-sober-butterfly_3_06- (02:12):
Maybe grab a notebook,'cause you're
gonna be taking notes.
Let's get into it.
the-sober-butterfly_5_06-2 (02:19):
Kick starting list.
List at number one, we have aplaylist.
We gotta start with the vibes.
Okay?
Music is everything.
It can help shift your mood,motivate you, help you grieve
that Situationship q sad girlmusic playlist, or it can make
you feel unstoppable.
And I put together a hot girlsober summer playlist on Spotify
(02:43):
for all my butterflies.
My music taste is trulyeverywhere.
I know people say that, but no,like I mean it.
Um, just know you're going tohear everything from Burna Boy
Beyonce lana Delrey, beachBunny, um, Billie Eilish, Olivia
Rodrigo, the Marias.
(03:04):
It, it's just all over theplace, so keep that in mind.
I really do love it all,
the-sober-butterfly_6_06-26 (03:09):
The idea for playlist came to mind
because I was talking to one ofmy girlfriends and she mentioned
Cardi B's new song outside,she's like, that's gonna be the
anthem of the summer.
Yeah, it is the summer anthem.
It's very much giving old Cardi,like when she first released her
debut album.
what was that song?
You can't.
Mm.
If you wanted to, this is, thisis Red Bottoms.
(03:31):
I'm, I'm not that girl from 20,what was that?
2018 But it was just a nice likereminder that summer we get to
be, I.
A little bit feral.
We get to be a little bit wild.
I'm thinking back to last year,brat summer was a whole thing.
And I loved it.
I loved that we got to like havethat unhinged wild girl come
out.
I think this year I'm gonna be abit more inside, but the Cardi B
(03:55):
song was fun, so I also threwthe on there.
'cause I love to listen to musicas I get ready.
No, I'm not pre-gaming, but itjust really pumps me up and I'm
like, yeah, I am that girl.
So if you haven't heard CardiB's new song outside, it's on
that playlist.
Okay.
the-sober-butterfly_1_06-2 (04:12):
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Summer sober tip.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (04:17):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
This is why I told you to takenotes.
the-sober-butterfly_5_06-2 (04:22):
Make your own playlist and have ones
for different moods, your maincharacter walk right, or your
self care night, or you'regetting ready for the day
playlist.
Just let the music set the tonebefore the world does.
the-sober-butterfly_8_06- (04:40):
Okay, coming in at number two, hot
girls have signature drinkswithout alcohol, so I recommend
having a go-to non-alcoholicdrink order And having that
already in mind for when you goto brunch or if you're on a date
or if you're chilling at thecookout or barbecue, or if you
(05:01):
just wanna feel included andconfident when ordering.
It's just great to already havesomething in mind.
And just like reminiscent ofwhen I used to drink my drinking
gaze.
I would have drinks for theseason.
You know, I was drinking rose inthe summer, right on the
rooftop.
I was drinking a hot totty inthe fall, whatever it may be.
So I feel like we need to bringthat same energy when it comes
(05:24):
to choosing seasonal drinks.
So my go-to for this summer is Ilike a little spice.
I like a little kick a littlebte, so I'm doing like a spicy
ginger beer with lime and mintor even sparkling water.
But lime and mint is superrefreshing or I appreciate
adaptogen moments, so like arecess or a moment, and that's
(05:48):
great for when you wanna chill.
So you can't always rely onthose brands or like those
adaptogenic drinks being out andabout.
But if you're at home, you candefinitely make sure that your
fridge is stocked with thosethings.
I do plan on being somewhatoutside this summer, so if I'm
out and about, like if I'm at abar, I'm going to ask the
bartender what non-alcoholicoptions they have, even if
(06:11):
there's nothing I.
On the menu, like on the drinkmenu.
Although I really don't thinkthat's likely because so many
places have non elk options andeven if they do have a whole
section devoted to non elkdrinks, I like to be a little
extra sometimes and just asklike, Hey, like what do you
recommend?
Or can you whip something up?
I can't tell you how many drinksthere are that exist in the
(06:32):
ether in the world of bartendersjust naming drinks after me
because I've been like, Hey, canyou make me this thing?
Like bartenders reallyappreciate.
Putting to good use.
I'll say this, good bartendersreally appreciate putting to
good use their mixology skills.
So if you tell them like, oh, Ilike, you know, a little bit of
kick, or I don't like supersweet, like they can, you know,
(06:54):
whip you something up right thenand there on the spot and get to
show off.
So don't be afraid toconfidently ask them to make you
something, whether it's on themenu or not.
the-sober-butterfly_2_06-27- (07:05):
My girl Rachel from sober in
Central Park, sent over hergo-to non ALK drink for the
summertime and when she sent meher choices, I almost fell out.
I was like, Rachel, we are soaligned, we are so in sync.
I love your Rex, so let's listento what she has to share.
(07:31):
My favorite non-alcoholicbeverage for the summer.
It's curious to elixirs.
Definitely.
They're number six, which istheir coconut oat milk
painkiller with lemon bal andnut mag.
Or they're number two, which istheir spicy pineapple Margarita
means of dark and stormy, and ithas Damian it in it, which is a
natural duac.
So period selections all year.
(07:52):
But in the summer for hot girlssober summer, we're drinking a
number six.
the-sober-butterfly_2_06 (07:57):
Number two, number six.
You heard Rachel also shamelessplug for Hot Girl Sober summer
because Curious Elixirs, they'responsoring the event.
So make sure you pull up to HotGirl Sober summer in Central
Park this July 20th from six to8:00 PM So you can experience
Rachel's tasting menu foryourself.
(08:18):
See you there.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (08:20):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
the-sober-butterfly_8_06-26 (08:23):
And just as a little pro tip, in
case you are not feeling asconfident about your sobriety or
ordering drinks.
That don't contain alcohol,especially if you're with people
who are drinking.
I would recommend practicing,like actually practice your
order before going out so thatyou're not caught off guard.
You can also preview the menu ifyou know where you're going so
(08:45):
that you can make sure that youalready know what to expect.
And if you are hosting thissummer, always have any options
on deck.
For guest, even last week on theshow with Sarah explaining at
her wedding, she had anon-alcoholic signature drink
and that one actually was morefavorable.
Like it was completely gonecompared to the other signature
(09:05):
drink that had alcohol in it.
So you never know, like unlessyou have options.
So just as a rule of thumb,always have some kind of any
option whether you're sober ornot.
the-sober-butterfly_11_06 (09:18):
Okay.
Number three is definitely anessential.
I mean, they're all essentials,but this one is high on my list,
a movement routine that feelsgood.
I wanna ditch this idea of asummer body or a hot body even,
and just embrace a sober, strongbody.
And the way to really obtain asober, strong body is through
(09:41):
movement.
And movement by the way, is notjust about your physical or your
vessel, it's also about mentaland emotional health.
You are defining what that lookslike for you.
Personally, I'm not a gym girly.
I partnered with New York SportsClub this year and I can count.
(10:02):
Okay.
I was gonna say, I can count onehand, maybe two hands how many
times I went with a freemembership.
I'm just not a gym girly.
I like movement.
I fact I need to move my body,but I'm more into, group
classes.
I love Pilates.
I love dance.
(10:22):
I love just being in connectionand community with other people,
which is why going back to ourSober Hot Girls summer in
Central Park event, it's goingto be so fun moving with you
guys with Kat and I thinkthere's just something to be
said about being immersed in asetting with other people who
are equally struggling.
It's like, oh my God, like youlook to your left, you look to
(10:42):
your right, and everyone isstruggling to do the plank, stay
in that position, all thethings.
So for me, I'm all about movingmy body in connection with other
people something I also wannareconnect with more is nature.
I want to get outside more.
So I'm planning on doing somehiking this summer.
While there are beautiful parkshere in New York, it's not great
(11:03):
for hiking, but if I take atrain for an hour and change, I
can be close to w thewilderness.
So that's my plan this summer.
I am gonna take the train northand look for some opportunities
to really move my body throughhiking, and that for me feels
like a great way to connect mymind and body.
And so yeah, I encourage you todo whatever it is that will help
(11:24):
you feel strong and Sexy thissummer.
the-sober-butterfly_12_06-26 (11:30):
So coming in at number four is
hobbies.
This one is big.
Every hot girl needs her hobbytrio.
So one hobby that could make youmoney.
One hobby that keeps youcreative and one hobby that
keeps you in shape.
So for me, content creation ismy moneymaker, my creative
(11:53):
outlet, painting and podcastingand movement like.
Pilates keeps my body and mindin sync.
Finding hobbies for me was soimportant getting sober because
I realized I didn't really havehobbies.
Before getting sober.
That's not unique to me.
I have lots of conversationswith people who have shared
(12:15):
similar sentiments arounddrinking, being their hobby
before sobriety.
I thought I had hobbies.
I'd be like, oh, I like to cook,but cooking was not the main
event for me when I wasdrinking.
It would be me uncorking thatbottle of bread and basically
drinking the whole bottle beforedinner was even served.
So I had to really, I.
(12:37):
Redefine what fun looked likefor me, what hobbies look like
for me.
And another thing to keep inmind is that perfectionist
mentality.
Because painting, for example,being one of my creative
outlets, I'm not good.
I just wanna put that on therecord guys.
I'm not a good painter.
I'm not doing it because I'mgood at it.
I'm not doing it because I'mperfect.
(12:57):
Or even striving for perfection.
As much as I love art andfrequently go to museums and
such.
I don't wanna be a painter.
That's not my end goal.
So I think it's also equallyimportant to do things for the
sake of doing them and notalways striving for perfection,
because that was something thatI struggled with too.
(13:17):
It's like, if I'm not good atit, I don't wanna do it.
But that's not healthy either.
So, you know, I think a big partof creativity is also like
working through a struggle.
So yeah.
Those are mine.
I am interested to learn fromyou.
What's your trio?
Let me know.
You can DM me or tag me onInstagram at the period, sofa,
(13:38):
butterfly.
I would love to hear from youand share some of them.
the-sober-butterfly_13_0 (13:44):
Number five, a fucking break.
excuse my language, I feel likesummer we do so much because,
you know, coming out of winterand spring we've been confined
to the indoors and so now wewanna do all the things.
But don't forget that you need abreak and this is your sign to
take that PTO babe, to book thattrip.
To do that.
Staycation, go camping, whateveryour version of a break looks
(14:05):
like, do that.
Okay, I'm going to be prettybusy this summer.
I mean like that is.
Not foreign.
That's not new.
That's who I am.
I have to stay busy, but at thesame time, I need to be
intentional about breaks becauseI don't wanna burn out.
It is hot.
I don't wanna burn out.
Okay.
The sun is beaming.
I don't wanna burn out.
(14:25):
Do you guys remember my silentsober summer?
Anyone I mentioned a few weeksago that I wanted to carve out
intentional time this summer forrest and stillness.
I'm calling it my silent sobersummer, and this is basically
where I am limiting phone use.
I am doing more solo dates andI'm reconnecting with myself.
(14:50):
So if you want to join me onthis commitment to resting and
unplugging and retreating whenyou need to.
You don't need permission tojoin me.
But if you want to see what minelooks like, I will let you know.
the-sober-butterfly_14_0 (15:05):
Number six, a summer budget..
Summer it, it's expensive, Is itjust me or is everyone in Europe
right now?
Everyone's outside.
Let's not go broke.
Please don't go broke.
Trying to keep up.
You need to make a fun budget.
Because so often the narrativeis, oh, when you quit drinking,
you start saving.
(15:25):
Like all of a sudden all thismoney is everywhere, and I.
Well think, I think can be truefor some and even for myself.
It was true.
At a certain point, I definitelyregress back to old habits and
we start to think that self-careneeds to be expensive and like
investing all the things.
In fact, I'm gonna reach out toRachel from Rachel Knows Money.
She's a friend of the show.
She's come on.
(15:46):
Twice I believe.
Yes, twice.
Talking just about theimportance of, you know,
financial literacy and how youcan glow up and still live your
best life in sobriety without itnecessarily having to take a
toll on your finances.
And one of my favorite episodesperiod that we've done on the
show is how to stopoverspending.
In sobriety or quote in the nameof self-care because I think so
(16:09):
many like sobriety, wellness,girlies, like we do all the
things right?
And while we are investing inourselves, it doesn't
necessarily have to beexpensive.
And I just feel that it's reallyeasy to lose track of your
finances when you're chasingthat vibe or when you're chasing
that like next skincare productthat's like the best thing
(16:29):
that's gonna, I don't know, makeyou look 15 years younger.
If you wanna look 15 yearsyounger, just stop drinking.
Um, but we've already done that.
So what else can we do?
We can make a hot girl budgetwhere we really prioritize what
our monthly expenses look like,I know the word budget just
doesn't sound sexy, and I'mtalking about, you know, how to
(16:50):
have a hot girl summer here, orhot girl sober summer.
But I'm telling you, personalfinance can be sexy at you guys
when you stop overspending andlive within your means, and you
feel secure that you have enoughto cover all your basic living
needs and budget for fun.
I think it just gives us so muchmore assurance that we're good.
(17:12):
And the key piece for me gettingsober was the clarity, right?
And the reality check was mypersonal finances need and
needed some work.
And so a way to do that is justto be real with yourself, okay?
Make that hot girl budget.
A budget doesn't mean that youhave to, you know, live this
(17:33):
really impoverished life whereit's, you know, deficit this and
like there's no money foranything else.
Like you can prioritize what'simportant to you.
And for me, the things that areimportant to me are things like
Pilates and travel.
So like those things are goingto be a line item in my budget,
but that's the thing.
It needs to be a line item in mybudget, within my budget, and
(17:56):
not me, just like swipe, swipe,swipe, and then that credit card
statement comes back and I'mlike, whoa, uh, how am I gonna
pay for this?
So we don't wanna do that.
And I will end here because Ifeel like there will be a part
three conversation with Rachelfrom Rachel Talks money this
summer.
But you don't need to spendmoney to make memories.
You just need intention.
the-sober-butterfly_15_06 (18:20):
Okay, so essentials seven, eight, and
nine.
Need some updates.
Okay, so these are things thatyou may already have in place,
but I'm going to push you toupdate them because I think that
these are things that need tochange, like the seasons, And so
coming in at number seven, wehave an updated routine.
If you're still running withyour winter schedule, it's time
(18:43):
for a change.
It's time for a little glow up,babe.
My summer routine involves earlymorning walks because I can
actually get outside.
I need that vitamin D firstthing in the morning.
Okay?
So I'm gonna be outside doing myhot girl walk with my iced
coffee, then I'm gonna come backinside journal.
(19:04):
I'm gonna make myself a nicelight, refreshing breakfast, and
I really wanna focus on mealprepping.
You guys, I really do love tocook and I'm an excellent cook,
but I have not been cooking andso I need to find a way to
integrate more meal prep andgetting in the kitchen more and
like actually spending timeplanning and thinking through
what I want to eat and not justbecoming like this afterthought,
(19:27):
like literally every day I amlike.
What am I going to eat?
And that's not smart.
It's also not smart for thebudget, so I'm going to be.
Focused on meal prepping thissummer.
How are you going to update yourroutine?
How are you shifting yourroutine this summer to match the
season and if you're thinking toyourself, Nadine, there's
nothing I can change.
I'm literally perfect.
(19:48):
I'm gonna push back babe andsay, no, you're not.
There is no such thing asperfect.
And if you are perfect, you'reboring.
In my book, if you really don'tthink there's room for you to
update your perfect routine, Iwould then just encourage you to
shake stuff up, like switch itup if you normally, Meditate or
journal in the morning, tryjournaling or meditating at
night.
If you drink eight glasses ofwater, I don't know, push
(20:11):
yourself to drink nine.
The whole point is you don'tknow.
so often we become complacent,and the thing about being human
is we need to continue growingand evolving and
metamorphosizing into evenbetter versions of self.
And like, even if you're doingall the things and you think
that everything is good, youdon't know because you are not
(20:32):
giving yourself an opportunityto stretch yourself by switching
things up.
You can open yourself up to thefeedback that you received from.
Switching things up and if youdon't like it, then you don't do
it anymore, but you won't knowunless you try.
the-sober-butterfly_1_06-2 (20:45):
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Summer sober tip.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (20:50):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
This is why I told you to takenotes.
the-sober-butterfly_15_06-26 (20:55):
So my.
Tip for you guys is to choosetwo habits to add to your
routine or update your routine,like more movement or drinking
more water, and also one torelease like overcommitting
yourself guilty or skippingbreakfast also guilty.
So that would be myrecommendation.
(21:16):
Update your routine to matchsummer.
the-sober-butterfly_16_06-26 (21:22):
At number eight, I'm also gonna
recommend that we update ourlook and hear me out here.
Me suggesting that you updateyour look is not because I think
that you need to follow trends.
Although I have bought thecutest cowboy hat that I'm going
to be rocking all summer.
I look like I'm going on tourevery day with Beyonce in this
hat, but it's so cute.
(21:44):
Even in Colorado this past week,There are real cowboys in
Colorado and so, you know, I waslike tipping my hat a cowboy hat
to all the cowboys.
Anyway, you don't need to followtrends.
Okay.
Like me, I am classic andtrendy.
I think it's a hard blend.
I.
But I do it well.
you also don't need to break thebank, but I do think there is
(22:04):
something of value to updatingyour look, to bring in more of
like a fresh vibe that can justmake you feel brand new.
So maybe get banks, no, actuallydo not get banks in the summer.
I take that back to not cutbangs in the summer, but you
know, if you wanna spruce upyour hair or do something, add
some color or get like a littlea, a chop.
It's just so nice to likeintroduce a new look in a new
(22:26):
season.
And it doesn't have to be asdramatic as like cutting bangs.
Once again, do not cut banks inthe summer.
Okay.
But, it could be as simple as abold lip color or finding a
signature scent.
I'm on the p prowl right now forlike my summer scent.
I think a really beautiful colorof the season that I'm noticing
is that like butter, that butteryellow.
(22:48):
So I am looking for a beautifulbutter yellow cardigan.
So if anyone sees that, let meknow.
But I would love to thrift it.
That's another thing I'm tryingto be a bit more sustainable.
so yeah, that's what I'm lookingfor.
And I'm also looking to updatemy sunglasses because this
sounds like such a simple flux,but when I tell you it's big for
me, sunglasses.
(23:10):
The one thing I could never,ever, ever keep when I was
drinking, I, I keep sunglassesnow.
Like I used to like buy designersunglasses and then literally
lose'em a week later.
Like I'd be on a boat andsomehow they'd go missing.
Whether they fell off into theocean or like, I don't know, I
(23:31):
just put them somewherecarelessly and someone picked
them up.
I don't know.
But that was like the one itemthat I.
Consistently would lose.
And now I don't lose my sun, mysuns.
So I'm going to invest in a pairof suns this summer, because I
finally trust myself enough tonot lose'em.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (23:48):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
the-sober-butterfly_16_06-26 (23:51):
So my tip is just to like, think
about.
How you wanna feel this summerand dress in a way that matches
that energy.
You know, I wanna feel elevated,effortless, empowered, all the
things.
So I'm gonna dress like that.
the-sober-butterfly_17_06 (24:08):
Okay.
Number nine, boundaries.
Come on.
You knew I couldn't have anessentials list.
An essentials hot girl, summersober list.
That was a mouthful.
without mentioning boundaries,summer is just so full of
invites and energy pools, andwhen you're sober, you may feel
that pressure to show up morethan you want to.
(24:30):
Whether that's to like show upand show out, which I've done
before.
And what I mean by show up andshow out is like, oh, I'm still
gonna show them.
I don't know who them is.
I'm air quoing, but I'm stillgonna show them.
I'm still the fun, crazy, wildgirl I used to be before
sobriety, and it's like, whetheror not that's true, it's like I,
I don't need to prove anything.
It's not performative, right?
(24:50):
My sobriety's not performative.
But yeah, sometimes I do feelthat pressure to be like, yeah,
I'm still fun and I still wannashow people that sober doesn't
mean boring, but like also guys,I'm in my thirties, I'm, I'm
encroaching my mid thirties.
Like I don't need to always befun.
Or outside, but that's why I sayI'm having a blended summer.
I'm having an indoor outdoorsummer.
But you know, you may feel thatpressure is the point I'm
(25:13):
making, or you may feel thepressure to keep showing up
because you're afraid.
If you say no, then you'll stopgetting invited to things.
These are all real things thatI've like rustled with, so I get
that.
the-sober-butterfly_1_06-2 (25:24):
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Hot.
Hot girl.
Summer sober tip.
the-sober-butterfly_3_06 (25:29):
Here's a free hot girl summer sober
tip.
This is why I told you to takenotes.
the-sober-butterfly_17_06-26 (25:35):
So my tip to you is just to check
in with yourself before you sayyes.
and it is as simple as askingyourself do I want to go, or do
I feel like I should go?
Sounds similar, totallydifferent things.
Do I wanna go is, do I actuallywanna go?
Like, am I excited?
How do I feel about thisprospective?
(25:56):
Whatever event, am I excited?
Am I nervous?
Do I feel like I need a drink togo to this thing?
That is a great question becauseI can't tell you how many times
I would show up to thingscompletely drunk or felt the
need to pregame beforehand.
Yes.
Partly because I'm an alcoholic,but also because I simply didn't
wanna go.
And so my nervous system wastrying to communicate that to me
(26:18):
and I was ignoring it andnumbing and drinking.
But the reality is I didn'twanna go to begin with and so I
was drinking more to preparemyself or while at said thing,
event, I'm drinking a lotbecause I don't really wanna be
there.
So it's really important todistinguish, like, do I wanna go
or do I feel like I should gonow?
The should go part.
(26:39):
Here's where it gets funny andtricky with boundaries like.
I do believe in boundaries.
I do think you need to upholdthem, but sometimes let's be
real.
Sometimes we just have to showup even if we don't wanna go.
And if that is the case, I'mtrying to think of an example
where that would be true.
Like we can all think ofsomething.
Maybe it's a work event, I don'tknow, that you have to go to and
it's like my boss told me I needto go to this.
I don't wanna go but.
(27:00):
Like I should go because it's myjob.
And if that is the case,boundaries become even more
essential because you have to beable to communicate when it's
time to go or the fact thatyou're not drinking.
And if you don't wanna go into awhole spiel as to why you're not
drinking, then really practiceyour affirmative nose.
Do you wanna drink?
No.
Thank you.
Awkward pause.
(27:21):
Maybe we're staring at eachother awkwardly in the eye now
because they want me toelaborate why, but I'm not going
to, if you do feel comfortableelaborating, why, practice what
you wanna say.
Have that go-to line no matterwhat.
Whether it's, do I wanna go ordo I feel like I should go, or
do I have to go or am I gonnago, here's the thing.
(27:42):
You just need to have somethingready that you can pull from
your arsenal as a way torespond.
For me, just going back to thatfirst question, do I want to go
or do I feel like I should go?
If it's a situation where it'slike, do I wanna go?
No.
Do I feel like I should go?
No.
I have my go-to line, I like tohit them with gratitude because,
(28:02):
you know, people don't have toinvite you to things.
So it's, thank you so much forthe invite.
And do, do, do, I'm actuallydoing a show night tonight, or I
have to rest up for Pilates inthe morning.
You don't owe an explanation toanyone.
In fact, I feel like the lessyou say, the more power you
hold.
the-sober-butterfly_18_06 (28:25):
Okay, number 10, finally, and maybe
most importantly, no hot girldoes this alone.
We need friends, and we needcommunity.
Community really is your anchor,and if you are looking to meet
like-minded, sober women, cometo our hot girl Sober summer in
Central Park Event on July 20th.
(28:48):
As mentioned in the intro, I'mco-hosting it with KA from Sober
Fit Girl and her team and Rachelfrom Sober in Central Park.
We're gonna be doing movement,mocktails connection, soaking up
the MYC Summer Magic Tickets areavailable in the bio, so make
sure you grab yours now becausewe are going to sell out.
Community doesn't need to be inreal life.
(29:11):
When I got sober, I didn'treally know anyone sober, so I
made friends on sober Instagram.
Now I do have sober friends, andnow I do have a sober community.
You're a part of it, but if youare not.
In a space where you feelconnected to people, or if
you're just not like in New YorkCity or can't come to New York
City mid-July for this event,start something, initiate it.
(29:35):
You can be the change.
I know how cliche that sounds,but like if you can't find what
you're looking for then startsomething.
that's how the sober butterflywas born.
I didn't see what I was lookingfor, so I made it start your own
picnic or your walk club or bookclub or whatever it may be.
Even if it's just two or threegirls in your community or
(29:59):
people in your community, youdon't need to have hundreds.
You don't need to havethousands.
You just need a handful of safe,supportive folks by your side.
the-sober-butterfly_19_06- (30:09):
Here are your 10 essentials for a hot
girl sober summer.
And number one, we have abanging playlist.
Number two, a go-to non-A drinkorder.
Number three, movement or aroutine that feels good for your
sober strong body.
Number four, your summer hobbytrio.
Number five.
(30:30):
A break.
Okay, a break.
Number six, a summer budget.
Number seven, an updatedroutine.
Number eight, an updated look.
Number nine, boundaries.
And number 10, community.
And remember, hot is how youfeel.
It's not how you look.
(30:51):
And remember, you deserve asimmer full of joy, clarity,
connection, without compromisingyour peace or your health.
Just some quick reminders beforeyou go.
Don't forget to listen to theHot Girl Sober summer playlist
on Spotify and please don'tjudge my music taste and don't
(31:11):
miss our hot girl sober summerevent in Central Park on July
20th.
Ticks are available in my bio.
Until next time, stay glowing,stay grounded, and stay sober.
I love you guys so muchbutterflies.
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