Breaking Free from Self-Sabotage: Sophia Graniela on Healing, EFT, Ayahuasca & Turning Your Mess into Your Message

Episode Transcript
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the-sober-butterfly_2_03 (00:02):
Hello, hello and welcome to the Sober
Butterfly Podcast.
I am your host Nadine Mulvina,and today's episode is all about
transformation.
I'm so excited to bring in myguest today.
We have Sophia who has spent thepast couple of years doing some
deep inner work to heal.
Find purpose and now she'shelping other women do the same

(00:23):
as an EFT practitioner andshadow work coach.
Sophia, I'm so excited to haveyou.
Welcome to the pod.
How are you?

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (00:31):
Oh my gosh.
Thank you so much for having me.
I am doing really well, and I'mso excited to dive into this.

the-sober-butterfly_2_03-31-2 (00:38):
I am too.
And I was telling you backstage,my voice is a bit raspy because
I was at the J Balvin concertlast night, so forgive my like
smoker's voice right now.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (00:48):
I love it.

I actually do love, but that's.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (00:52):
Oh my gosh, yes.
When I used to party, I alwayshad a raspy voice, so it brings
me back to those days.

the-sober-butterfly_2_ (00:58):
Exactly.
It's bringing me way back.
And I was the weird kid thatlike if someone lost their voice
because they were sick, I waslike, Ooh, I want that.
Like, I don't know why.
I just think it's so soulful andsexy.
Anyway I would love to learn alittle bit more about your
story.
You being on this beautifuljourney of healing, but what did

(01:18):
life look like before you madethat decision to get sober and
start doing that inner healingwork?

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (01:25):
Yeah, absolutely.
So really it started back allthe way in my childhood.
I grew up in a family wherethere was a lot of alcoholism,
mental health struggles,substance abuse.
Present.
And from a very young age, Itried to shrink myself and fit
in.
I always thought that, you know,I wasn't good enough just
because of a relationship that Ihad with my father, always

(01:48):
trying to be that perfectdaughter and be the
overachiever, and always triedto hit these really high
expectations.
And when I got into middleschool, I started getting
bullied for my appearance.
Then it was like really mymission in life to be loved and
accepted and to just be goodenough and to belong.

(02:11):
And as soon as I got into middleschool and then high school, I
started to notice like all ofthe popular kids and what they
were doing, and they weredrinking and partying and.
Doing all the things.
And so I thought to myself,well, I wanna be loved and
accepted, so I'm just going todo everything I possibly can to
be included in their group.
And so in high school, I prettymuch let go of all the things

(02:34):
that actually made me so happy,like music and sports and
creativity.
And I let everything go and juststarted to drink, started to
experiment with drugs.
When I was 15 years old, I wentto my first music festival.
When I felt that high, it waslike, oh my gosh, I need this in
my life.
And it also gave me that falsesense of confidence.

(02:57):
I felt like when I drank andpartied, I was like the cool
girl and I was gonna beaccepted, and I felt really,
really good.
And so basically from the timethat I was 15 years old until I
was 29 years old, it was justthis cycle of self-sabotage,
drinking and partying to notonly numb.
Emotions and pain, but to fitin, and it was in and out of

(03:20):
toxic and abusive relationships.
A really, really low sense ofself-worth.
I got myself into almost$20,000of credit card debt just from
partying and my bad habits, andI just always was running away
from my life.
It was like, how do I escape myreality?
And so for 15 years of my lifealmost, it was pretty much

(03:41):
living in chaos and justwondering, will life always feel
this way?
Because during the weeks I washustling 60 hour weeks in
corporate.
On the outside, everythinglooked good, right?
I had the friends, I had thefun, I had the, the job and the
career.
But inside I was so lost anddisconnected from myself.
I didn't know who I was outsideof my party girl identity, and I

(04:05):
just didn't know what I desiredin life.
And so.
It was just basically livinglife on autopilot, not knowing
who I was, hoping and wishingand praying for a better,
healthier life.
And then at 29 is when Ibasically decided this, this
cannot be my life.
Like staying where I am isscarier than the fear of the

(04:27):
unknown.

the-sober-butterfly_2_03-31 (04:28):
Oh, so relatable.
My God.
Sophia, you mentioned somethings that really touched me,
even going back to being inadolescence, and it sounds to me
like.
Seeking something outside ofyourself, like validation,
external validation, whetherthat be from your peer group or
from your parents even, like Ican relate to so much of that,

(04:49):
especially it sounds likeperfectionist type.
Behaviors, right?
Like, if I'm gonna be my perfectself, then maybe that will deem
me worthy of love or respect.
And it's just reminding me ofthis idea that true love, like
real authentic love andconnections, like they don't
need to necessarily be earned.
And so, especially as a child,when you're seeking that
approval, like that can easilyspiral into different parts of

(05:13):
your life.
And so I connect so much deeplyto that and then like identity,
right?
Finally, you know, being quote,accepted by the cool kids, but
at the, detriment of you losinga sense of who you are and
foregoing like your truepassions and hobbies and
interests, just so that youcould like be this version of
self that may not even be, your.

(05:33):
Actual self or inner being, butit's just this idea of like
masking, like we put theselayers or we start to develop
layers in a way to fit in, butalso to protect ourselves.
Like what were we drinking for?
Like there was something pushingus and you mentioned this word
escape, and I very much believea big part of my drinking

(05:55):
because we all drink for areason.
A big part of my drinking wasescapism.
And then when you're so deep init, when you're in the throes of
your partying or you're drinkingor you're using or whatever, it
makes it even harder sometimesto climb out or to see the light
because it's just like, this ismy normal, like this chaos.
Like you mentioned, like chaoswas my normal as well, so.

(06:18):
Just so relatable.
Thank you for sharing all ofthat.
And then another thing that'sinteresting is in doing the
show, like I meet so manypeople, especially women who get
sober, right around 30.
It sounds like you quit drinkingat 29.
So kind of talk, talk to usabout what that point in your
life look like.
Would you say that you had likea quote, rock bottom, Sophia, or

(06:40):
was it more like this is notsustainable anymore.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (06:43):
Yeah, that's a really good question.
I feel like it was kind of a bitof both.
I always said to myself, Ididn't have a rock bottom, but
when I look back at it now,there was a moment that really
was the turning point for me,and so I would consider that,
you know, a rock bottom or justthat moment of I am done.
And so that was when I was 29and I actually, I didn't quit

(07:03):
drinking until 30, but I changedmy life at 29.
So basically I had just gottenout of a relationship that I
thought was going to last a longtime, and it was healthy at
first, and then it turned toxic,which was a pattern in my life
with all of my relationships.
And I was in a very dark placein my life.
I was drinking, partying, hidinga lot of my bad habits with my

(07:24):
partner at that time.
And.
Everything kind of came to ahead because I began to
self-sabotage.
I began to just like nitpick andcause fights because again, safe
safety for me was chaos.
When things were calm and I wasin a relationship that felt
healthy and good, it didn't feelsafe because of my childhood and
because of the chaos that wasfor me safe.

(07:44):
So I would always create chaoseven when something was going
really well.

the-sober-butterfly_2_03-31- (07:49):
Oh my God.
Because it's also like I'mwaiting in that calm moment.
I would think like when is.
The shoe, like I want thecontrol, so it's like I'm gonna
shake shit up.
Sorry to cut you off,

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (08:00):
Oh my gosh.
No, because it's true.
It's like sometimes, uh, we aswomen, we don't realize that
we're creating this in our lifebecause our nervous systems
don't feel safe being in arelaxed state.
Right?
We grew up maybe around chaos orwe had that during our adult
years, and so we will literallycreate chaos in our own life, in
our own relationship.
And so we ended up breaking up,and I was just really in such a

(08:24):
low state of just heartbreakdrinking and partying to really
numb the heartbreak that I wasfeeling.
And I booked a flight out of thecountry because travel's one of
my biggest passions.
But at that point, I also usedtravel as an escape when I was
drinking.
And so I booked a flight toMexico.
I did a like.
A month and a half solo trip.
And for the first month I wasjust like in this cloud, this

(08:46):
haze of like heartbreak.
What am I doing?
Who am I?
Oh my gosh.
And I had heard about Ayahuascaactually like years before, and
it was something that reallyscared me at the time that I had
heard about it.
But on this trip, I thought tomyself, you know what?
I'm ready to go deep.
I know that I'm ready to changemy life.
I know that I'm ready to becomethe woman who's confident and

(09:07):
radiant and healthy, and justactually like prioritizes
herself.
I'm ready to rewrite my story.
I'm so done living in this pastidentity that I no longer
resonate with, and so I ended upat 29 going on my first
Ayahuasca journey in Columbia.
That experience also opened myeyes to just a path of just an

(09:28):
incredible life if I were tostop drinking and using
substances.
And so it showed me the mostbeautiful journey and just
energy and lights and nourishingrelationships.
And in that moment, I rememberedat the end of the ceremony, I
promised myself I was done usingsubstances.
I was done partying.
I wasn't quite ready to fullylet go of the drinking at that

(09:51):
point because it already feltlike such a heavy weight, just
to say, you know what?
Cold Turkey, I'm done going outon the weekends.
I'm done using substances.
And so I was like, okay, littleby little.
So in that moment I promisedmyself that.
So I stopped using substancesand from.
February of 2023 to October of2023, I was in this really big

(10:11):
identity crisis.
It was like all of a sudden Ifelt so much resistance in
places that I used to enjoy somuch.
So I would try going out on theweekends with friends, and I
would have this like deepheaviness on my heart of just I,
I'm not meant to be hereanymore.
And I would come home and Iwould cry myself to sleep
because it was such heavyenergy.
And I was so scared as wellbecause I knew that if I

(10:34):
stopped.
Going out to those places, Iwould also stop spending time
with these people.
I would lose friends.
And so it was this really bigfear of judgment around friends.
Like, what are they going tothink about me?
I'm gonna be boring now.
I'm not gonna have people aroundme to support me.
And I just felt so muchresistance when I would go out,
when I would spend time aroundcertain people.

(10:54):
And everything in the universejust kept saying to me, it was
like this intuitive, knowing youare ready to evolve and expand.
It was just like the soul,knowing that where I was was
just no longer where I was meantto be, and I knew that I had to
let go of things.
It was going to be scary anddifficult, but I had to sit
through those moments ofuncertainty and discomfort to

(11:16):
completely change my life.
And so in those six months iswhen I really started to
prioritize myself.
I started to go to Pilates andwork out.
I started to build reallyhealthy habits.
I started to distance myselffrom a lot of the toxic energy
that was in my life.
And then in October of 2023, Iwas already feeling so much

(11:37):
better because I was so muchhealthier.
My mindset was more positive,and I already started to really
shift my identity at that point.
But I ended up going to a musicfestival in Miami, and that
night I ended up drinking waytoo much.
Now, something about me is I'dnever identified as an
alcoholic.
I was never codependent onalcohol.

(11:57):
For me, it was more of a numbingmechanism, an escape, a way for
me to, again, feel that sense ofbelonging.
But that night in particular, Idrank way too much.
And I remember having this outof body experience where I
looked at the girl that I waswith one of my friends, and I
said to her.
I don't know why I'm evendrinking anymore.

(12:18):
It does not have any goodeffect.
It's holding me back from trulyunlocking my full potential.
And I remember just being likeangry and losing my keys.
And it was again, that chaos.
And in that moment I looked ather and I was like, this is the
last night I'm gonna drink.
It has no place in my lifeanymore.
I need to completely change mylife.

(12:38):
And I was already going on thattrajectory of like getting
healthy and prioritizing myselfand setting boundaries and doing
the really hard things.
And that was like the lastmissing puzzle piece for me.
And it was in that moment,October 21st, 2023, I just said,
I'm done.
And since then.
So much has shifted, like trulyconnecting to my purpose,

(12:58):
building incredible friendships,becoming strong and healthy, and
building confidence.
And that's really how I actuallycame into starting my podcast
and building my business isrealizing like, wow, there's so
many women out there that liveso disconnected from themselves,
chasing society's definition ofsuccess, doing what they think
they quote unquote should bedoing.

(13:19):
They don't actually know whatthey desire, what they enjoy,
what lights their soul on fire.
And so through my journey, I'vealso turned my mess into my
message because this is what Ido now.

and you do it so well.
Oh my gosh.
I loved hearing all parts ofthat.
So I would love to actually kindof get into Ayahuasca because I
think so many people have maybefear.
Around it, and I think it's theunknown,
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I would love to hear what your
experience was like, because Ithink with plant-based medicine
or those spiritual.
Ceremonies because this issomething that has to be done in
a setting where there's aprofessional and like there's
someone that can guide you.
I think so often, especiallywithin the sober slash like
recovery spaces, there's a bitof stigma there when it comes to

(15:25):
the role of something likeAyahuasca in recovery or helping
you unlock.
Some of, or release, I shouldsay, some of those, maybe trauma
wounds or just things that we'recarrying.
So can you explain to us likewhat Ayahuasca is and like what
it meant to you and how ithelped you after that process or
after that ceremony?

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (15:45):
Yeah, absolutely.
So Ayahuasca is a plantmedicine, and like you said,
there is a really big stigmaaround it, especially if you are
in recovery.
it's a plant medicine.
it's derived from DMT, it'sessentially, it's like a
psychedelic, it also opens yourheart.
It really helps with compassionand it can bring up a lot of

(16:05):
past.
Traumas as well.
So I think that's where the fearcomes in, is if you are not
ready to face.
Your those emotions and thetraumas and the things that come
up.
It can be a really, really darkexperience.
And so I always like to saythis, but Ayahuasca will find
you when you're ready and itsounds kind of crazy, but you
will know.

(16:25):
You'll have like this intuitiveknowing.
Okay, I'm ready to go deeper.
I'm ready for this medicinebecause I don't recommend
Ayahuasca to everyone.
I do believe that you have to bein a certain space in your life
where you are just so ready toget out of where you are and you
are ready to actually take aline to action.
Because Ayahuasca now is kind ofglamorized.

(16:47):
I hate to say that, but it's,it's one of those things that
everyone talks about now and.
one of my friends told me thatthey booked an Ayahuasca
experience on Airbnbexperiences, and that's just not
what you wanna do for Ayahuasca.
Okay, everyone, like, for anyonethat's listening, you want to
make sure that it's a safe andsacred place.
I went to, I've done it twicenow.
Once in Guatemala, once inColumbia, and you wanna make

(17:10):
sure that you're sitting withpeople that you trust.
That has the shamans where thiscomes from generations, right?
Like their abuelas and theirancestors have been doing it for
years and years because this issomething where you wanna be
held in a space where you canfully go into your experience
because emotions are going tocome up

Right.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12 (17:30):
granted, everyone has a different
experience.
So I can really only talk aboutmine, but for me it really gave
me a lot of information and alot of messages.
And so I didn't really.
See anything.
Some people have a really visualexperience.
I did have kind of a visual interms of like messages came
through and I saw like somevisuals, but I never got into

(17:50):
like a really dark trip.

Got it.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (17:53):
for me it was just like a lot of,
lot about my life path.
Like it really showed me twodifferent paths when I, if I
continued partying, if Icontinued doing what I was doing
versus if I were to get soberand really change my life, like.
Everything that would be a partof my, my new reality.
And so there's a lot of likewisdom that came through.

(18:14):
I also learned a lot about myfather because him and I had a
difficult relationship growingup and it really gave me like
such a deep sense of compassionfor my father, that he did the
best he could with what he hadaccess to, right.
As a father Ayahuasca is justsuch a great way to really
reconnect with parts ofyourself, so again, you have to

(18:36):
be ready for it because I havehad other friends that have done
it that did have a reallydifficult experience.
However, you can take all of theexperience and then take it and
then transform your life.
Because the dark experiences aregoing to teach you something
about yourself.
So I really would recommendresearching places before you

(18:57):
book your experience, talk toother people that have done an
ayahuasca journey before.
Ask them about their experienceand really set an intention
before you go on the journey.
What is it that you, yeah, whatis it that you wanna get out of
the experience?
Because to be honest, when Iwent on my Ayahuasca journey, I
didn't even.
Talk about sobriety.
There was 21 other strangersthere and we sat in a circle the

(19:20):
first night to talk about ourintentions.
And my intention was a lot to dowith childhood family trauma
healing from my heartbreak'causeI had just gotten out of that
relationship.
But I still had a really deepsense of shame because of my
drinking and my partying that Ididn't even talk about that.
when I journaled in my notebook,when I got there, I said I need

(19:40):
to party less.
Because I was so scared ofletting go of that identity.
I was so scared of creating alife outside of what I had grown
so comfortable with for 15 yearsof my life.
And so even though like that wasdefinitely an intention of mine,
I got.
Exactly what I needed from theexperience.
And that's the other thing withayahuasca, it's going to give

(20:01):
you what you need and what youcan handle.
So if you go the first time andyou don't have that big, big
breakthrough that you're hopingor wanting, it might give you
other little pieces that youneed to actually handle and
conquer first before it can giveyou what you actually really,
really need.
So some people have to go backand do an experience again and.

(20:23):
thing I wanna mention isayahuasca is not some magic
medicine that's gonna cure youand change your life.
It'll give you what you need,and then you have to take that
information, that wisdom,whatever you got from it, and
apply it to your life.
Because I see so many peoplegoing again and again and again,
and not having any change intheir life because they're
expecting the medicine to.

(20:43):
To work its magic and changetheir life.
as humans have to takeresponsibility and take all of
the things that we learned andactually apply it to our
reality.
So if it's about sobriety or ifit's about getting healthy, what
is it that you can do today toget one step closer to that
reality?

I love that so much, and even the
piece around action in relationto sobriety.
It's like sobriety.
Is not a magic pill that's goingto fix every aspect of your
life.
Like you still have to act andyou still have to do the work.
I have one quick littleanecdote, I'll make this short,
but similar to you, I usedtravel as a form of escape as

(21:21):
well, and I as well went toMexico.
I went to Tulum and I waspartying for the first like six
weeks I was there and I wasreally in a dark place.
Heartbreak, heartache, all ofthat.
And then I moved to Mexico Cityon a whim and in Mexico City I
met this woman who, she was themarketing manager for a shaman

(21:44):
who ran ayahuasca ceremonies.
I met her randomly at a dinnerparty and she was a hoot.
We had a great time.
We're chatting, she's liketelling me all of the amazing
benefits of ayahuasca, and thenI go out into the balcony to
like hit a joint and she joinsme.
The next thing you know, shejust falls out like collapses

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (22:05):
Oh

on the floor.
And the host of the party cameup to me and was like, what is
in this?
And I'm like, it is justmarijuana.
Like, I have no idea why shefainted.
And he's like, actually, likeshe's, and then he alluded to
the fact that she was like,unstable.
So that deterred me, I'm notgonna lie to you, Sophia,
because I was so like.
Invested in this idea of doingayahuasca, but then the person

(22:27):
that was selling me the ideafainted, I was kind of like, eh,
I don't know.
But I did feel a calling,actually.
I think I've sort of hit like a,if I'm being honest, like a, a
block of some sort.
Like I'm in therapy, I'm sober.
I've been doing the work foryears now, but I do think that I
might need a little bit morehelp.
And so that's why I was justabout like your experiences with

(22:49):
Ayahuasca because I do thinkthat there's more under the
surface that I would like toexcavate and get into some of
the childhood wounds and traumathat I know I'm still carrying
with me.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (23:01):
Yeah, and I think that's what
ayahuasca is so beautiful for.
I, you know, I also, I also hearpeople talking about ayahuasca
and like.
Kind of a negative light of youdon't need that to heal and like
No, you absolutely don't.
You can do all the healing onyour own.
You can do inner child's workand shadow work and all the
things.
ayahuasca is a really great way,like you said, to go even deeper
into the subconscious, into ourchildhood traumas, into the

(23:24):
things that have made us.
Us.

Right.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (23:26):
it's just a really great tool.
And of course when you go withan open mind, that's the other
thing is you really need tosurrender to the medicine.
You can't have any expectationsof what you're gonna get from
the experience.
And I think a lot of times ashumans in general, we try to
control outcomes.
We wanna know what's gonnahappen.
We're like, we want all theanswers.
But with ayahuasca.
The only way you're going tohave a good experience is if you

(23:48):
go completely open mindsurrender and just trust that
you're going to get what it isthat you need from it.
And

Mm-hmm.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_ (23:55):
understand why you had kind of a bad taste
in your mouth from thatexperience with that woman
because you're always going tohear people talk badly about any
type of bad experience thatthey've had, right?
They're going to highlight that.
But I also think that.
Trust your intuition andwhatever's coming for you.
And if it's calling to you,trust that because there are so
many incredible places that youcan go for your first journey

(24:17):
and you can learn a lot aboutyourself.
It's really incredible.

I love that.
One final question aroundAyahuasca.
You mentioned earlier that youdon't necessarily recommend it
for everyone.
Can you elaborate a little bitmore in terms of like who would
be maybe a good candidate?
Well, we kind of touched onthat, but like who would you say
maybe you are not ready toexperiment or try this plant
medicine?

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (24:40):
Yeah, that's a great question.
So the first thing that reallycomes to mind is if you're on
antidepressants.
Or you're using any type oflike, really heavy prescription
medicine,

Mm-hmm.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123 (24:50):
consult a doctor first and foremost,
because a lot of thoseprescription drugs have really
bad counter interactions withayahuasca.

the-sober-butterfly_2_03- (24:59):
Okay.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123 (24:59):
deadly.
So you wanna really do yourresearch before you go on a
journey and just make sure thatyou actually follow the protocol
that they give you before thejourney.
So a lot of times they'll tellyou like, limit sugar, you can't
eat meat.
There's a lot of things that youhave to follow and.
Essentially live like a cleanlifestyle so your body's an open
vessel for when you take themedicine.
So I would say if you are on anyof those types of prescription

(25:22):
medicines, just really do yourresearch and talk to your doctor
before you do.
And then I would say if you havenot even done any type of
healing work or you're notreally self-aware, and I think.
Yeah, you just, you really wannabe self-aware.
You want to have that intention.
You wanna be going with goodintentions.

(25:42):
You

It.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (25:43):
go to Ayahuasca expecting that.
It's going to fix your life andsolve all your problems.

Right.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (25:49):
takes someone who's already invested
in themselves that's like, okay,I'm ready to do this work.
I'm ready to change my life.
Nothing is stopping me, andAyahuasca is just going to be a
tool that's going to help you.
Almost like accelerate becauseyou're going to go deep in a
matter of 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 days,whatever, you know the amount of
time of your journey is, andit'll just give you even more

(26:11):
information that you can use topropel your journey ahead.
But if you're just like going tojust, this is just gonna change
my life and solve all myproblems, you're gonna be
disappointed.

And I think the inner knowing piece,
like if you feel called tosomething I, like I knew before
I was ready to admit

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123 (26:28):
Mm-hmm.

was limiting me.
Right.
I felt that nudge the tug, theurge.
And when I finally surrendered,I was able to really see the
beauty and benefits of a soberlife.
And it sounds like too, likesurrendering to the plant
medicine, surrendering to, yourunderstanding of self and
knowing when you're ready isalso a key component to this.
So thank you for sharing all ofthat, Sophia.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (26:51):
Yeah.

And so now take us back You're
Advent Music Fest and you turnto your friend and were just
like, I don't even understandwhy I'm still drinking.

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You're really working on becoming the
best version of self and nowyou've removed that final piece,
so what did life look like orhow did it change for you from
that point on?

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (28:22):
Yeah, absolutely.
So October of 2023, it was wildbecause again, it was six months
after my Ayahuasca experienceand I just, I was already doing
so much and I was ready totransform my life.
And it was in that moment when Ilooked at my friend and I said,
alcohol no longer has a place inmy journey.
It just, it no longer serves me.
was in that moment that it wasliterally an identity shift

(28:45):
because in that moment, I made aanchored decision that I was no
longer going to drink.
Nothing was gonna stop me.
I was going to become thehealthiest, most radiant, alive
version of myself.
Like I was going to reconnectwith my passions, connect with
my purpose, make an impact inthe world, and truly come home
to myself.
And that's why I named mypodcast Her Journey Home

(29:07):
because.
The last two years have beensuch a journey back home to me.
What is it that I desire in thisworld?
How do I want to feel every dayof my life?
How do I want other women andpeople to feel?
How do I want the world aroundme to look right?
Because for so long I lived insuch a negative.
My perspective was always verynegative because of how I felt.

(29:29):
I didn't treat myself with loveand respect, and so when I
decided to get fully sober andstop drinking, it was just such
a catalyst for all of the growthin my life.
I started my business, Ilaunched my podcast.
I've made incredible,nourishing, deep friendships.
changed the way that I date andlook at.
You know, partners, it's changedmy finances, my family

(29:54):
relationships.
Like I got so much closer withmy mom and my dad and my brother
because you're no longer livinglife in a fog.
In a haze.
like so much of my life was justchasing the next thing.
It was like, okay, I'm gonnawork Monday through Friday, and
then by Thursday it was alreadylike, what are the plans?
And then Monday would comearound and I'd be nursing a

(30:14):
hangover for the entire week.
And then.
Right.
Again, how do I escape this?
And so life was always justabout how do I escape my
reality?
How can I have fun and not haveto think about what I actually
have to do in my life?
And now it's like, no, I wannacreate a life that is so
fulfilling and rich and purposedriven.

(30:34):
That's.
So alive and incredible that Ino longer need to escape my
reality, and I don't need torely on alcohol or substances or
anything to have fun anymorebecause when you become whole on
your own and you fill thatinternal void and you cultivate
a deep sense of self worth andself love, alcohol does.

(30:55):
Literally become irrelevant.
Like in a situation like minewhere I was not codependent on
alcohol, obviously everyone isdifferent.
For me, it was more about thatself-worth.
It was more about I never feltworthy as a human.
Like we all are, we're alreadyinherently worthy just the way
that we are.
But I constantly, like you saidin the beginning of the episode,

(31:16):
searching for externalvalidation.
And so when I decided to getsober, it was like all the
things that I was searching for,I just gave them to myself.
I became my own source ofvalidation.
I went on this love, likeself-love healing journey, and
now it's like because I'm sohealthy and because I actually
love my life, I don't needanything outside of myself to

(31:37):
bring me joy.

One of my favorite quotes, it
reminds me of what you justshared.
Give yourself the love that youseek, and I think that is just
so true because it's.
Very easy to spiral and thinkthat you are undeserving and
unworthy, no, you just beinghere is enough.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123 (31:54):
Mm-hmm.

That's a great reminder for me and for
people listening at home.
Also, it's just like when youstart to actually do the work
and as you mentioned, pour intoyourself, you're calibrating on
a higher frequency like yourenergy.
Is just vibrating up here likehigher.
And so you're attracting, Ibelieve, better relationships in
terms of quality or the thingsthat you deserve in life are

(32:17):
being drawn to you because youare giving off or omitting this
positive energy.
And so I love that you're doingall of this work and continue to
do that.
And not just do it, but likeshare this message like what you
mentioned before, turn your messinto your message.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (32:29):
Yes.

that.
Because we are not living in asilo.
Like so many people I think staystuck in these negative.
Patterns or turn to negativecoping devices because they feel
like they are alone and theycannot share or they don't hear
their stories in other people.
So thank you for doing thatwork, Sophia, and sharing with

(32:51):
my audience today and on yourplatform as well.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (32:54):
Thank you.

I know that you also work with
EFT,

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (32:58):
Yes.

I was just wondering how e ft can
help.
Rewire the brain and help peoplewith building healthier coping
mechanisms.
So can you get into EFT and alsolike I know that you work with
shadow work as well, so theseare terms I feel like get thrown
around a lot, but what do theyactually mean and how do they
help your clients or people ingeneral?

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (33:21):
I love this so much.
So EFT stands for EmotionalFreedom Technique.
And this modality has quiteliterally helped me build
confidence, rewire subconsciousbeliefs.
And it's one of the mostpowerful tools in my opinion.
So it actually stems back fromancient Chinese medicine and
it's essentially, if you cankind of, I like to think of it

(33:42):
as acupuncture, but without theneedles.
Because we're tapping on themeridians, which is the side of
the hand above the eyebrows sideof the eyebrows, under the eyes,
upper lip, chin, and on top ofthe head.
And so when we're actuallytapping on those meridian
points, it's allowing us to moveany stagnant energy.

(34:03):
us to actually move energythrough our bodies and to
release what is no longerserving us.
And when we're actually doingthe EFT tapping, we start with
the negative, which a lot oftimes people don't understand
why do we start with thenegative beliefs or the fears or
whatever's coming up for us?
And the reason we start with thenegative is to actually honor,

(34:23):
accept, and acknowledge thenegative first.
if you think about like dirt onthe floor, you wanna first like
acknowledge that it's there andthen you start to sweep it away.
And so once you do a round withthe negative, that's when you
start to tap on the reinforcingpositive statement.
And so EFT is actually such abeautiful blend of somatics,

(34:46):
which is moving energy from thebody, but also cognitive
psychology, which is where we'reactually rewiring the beliefs.
And so it's a really incrediblemodality for really just nervous
system regulation.
It really helps with nervoussystem regulation.
I love to do it.
Even if, let's say you're in theback of an Uber and you're
feeling like stressed or angryor whatever the, the feeling is

(35:09):
in your body.
You just do some tapping, it'llimmediately take you down a
notch.
Like it's so incredible.
It's also amazing for, like Isaid, rewiring, limiting
beliefs.
And then it's also great formoving energy around.
So if you're feeling thosefears, if you're feeling like,
oh my gosh, like I'm so scaredof, maybe it's losing friends or

(35:29):
judgment or whatever it is onyour journey, tapping is also
such a great way to reinforcenew positive beliefs as well.
And so yeah, EFT.
Absolutely incredible.
I also love it because it's notsomething that takes a really
long time.
You can literally tap five to 10minutes in the mornings, in the
evenings, during the day.

(35:51):
You don't have to be in a placethat's like, no distractions,
quiet like you would, let's saya meditation.
I.

Mm-hmm.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (35:57):
And so it's really, really powerful.
And I actually have created,it's called Her Journey Home
Collective.
It's my free community and Ihave over 15 recorded tapping
sessions, shadow work prompts.
So if you wanna come into thegroup, it's an incredible way
just to, like I said, start yourday, start your week.
I tap every single day and it'struly allowed me to.
Step into confidence.

(36:19):
I've gotten through my fear ofbeing seen, showing up on social
media, showing my face, speakingon camera, like it's such a
great way to help you navigatewhatever it is that you're
currently going through in yourlife.

And I saw on your story yesterday,
you did a tapping exercise.
I thought it was beautiful.
I'm wondering for example, ifyou are feeling anxious or if
you're feeling, I don't know,upset about something with the
tapping, like should youpinpoint a specific area or in
general, is it just the act oftapping that helps?
It doesn't matter necessarilythe location.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_1237 (36:52):
That's a great question.
So both of those are actuallyaccurate.
So even if you're just tappingand talking.
You're still going to feel thebenefits.
It's going to help you move theenergy.
However, if you have a specificemotion or feeling that's coming
up, it's really helpful topinpoint it.
And a lot of times in my clientsessions we'll actually dig and

(37:13):
try to get to the root of wherethat feeling or emotion is
coming from to begin with.

Okay.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_12370 (37:18):
start at the surface, like if they're
feeling, let's say, angry, andthen we get below it and it's
like, is this a familiarfeeling?
Have you felt this before?
Does this stem from a childhoodmemory?
And so really the purpose oftapping, especially when you're
doing it with a coach, isgetting to the root of where
this is coming from so that youcan clear it versus if you're

(37:39):
just tapping on the anger, yes,it'll help you move it.
In that moment, you willprobably yawn, you might get
teary-eyed.
These are all signs that you aremoving the energy through your
body, but it won't necessarilyactually get to the root, which
is really the goal in a clientsession.
I.

Okay.
Got it.
that's impactful.
Now shadow work, does that helprelease emotions as well, or is
that related to something else?

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (38:02):
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
So Shadow work has also beensuch a powerful tool on my
healing journey.
And for other women, it'sessentially taking the parts of
yourself, the unconscious parts,and bringing them back in.
Into the lights and integratingthem into your life.
So what this means is, let's sayare parts of yourself that you
have been suppressing or runningaway from your whole life.

(38:25):
So maybe you are.
suppressing anger from childhoodor you're suppressing shame or
some, a piece of yourself, andthen it ends up manifesting into
your life even though you don'twant to, you're trying to hide
it.
You're trying to run away fromit because it's deemed socially
unacceptable.
I.
And the interesting thing aboutshadow work is there's actually

(38:46):
dark shadows, which is, youknow, the dark, non accepted
qualities, but there's alsosomething called golden shadows.
And golden shadows are actuallythings that are accepted by
society, but that you may havefelt shamed for in childhood.
One example of this is you mightbe really intelligent, but your
entire life you've tried to kindof dim down your intelligence

(39:09):
because maybe in elementaryschool you were called the
teacher's pet.
And so from a young age, you'relike, oh my gosh, if I raise my
hand, if I participate, if Ispeak my truth and I show how
intelligent I am, I'm going tobe rejected.
I'm not going to be given loveor acceptance.
And so you start to actually runaway from these beautiful

(39:29):
qualities.
Same thing goes for beauty and,success and all of that, they're
all golden shadows.
And so a lot of times we end uprunning away from who we
authentically are.
And so shadow work allows you totake all of those pieces that
you didn't accept about yourselfand integrate them into your

(39:49):
reality to become more whole.

Okay.
how, like what is the, I guesslike mode that people are able
to work through accepting partsof themselves that they've been
suppressing for so long?

sophia_2_03-31-2025 (40:04):
Definitely.
So there's actually a couple ofways.
What I usually walk my clientsthrough is called a shadow shift
process, and this is where theywill actually, sit.
With their shadow self.
So essentially it's almost likea meditation.
So we drop them in, they are ina beautiful meadow.
They actually sit down andthey're facing their shadow
self.
So whatever that is, maybe it'sthe angry part.

(40:25):
Maybe it's the greedy part,maybe it's the whatever that
dark shadow is or the goldenshadow, and they actually start
to ask questions to their shadowpart.
What is your purpose?
What are you trying to keep mesafe from?
And a lot of times that's, youknow, that fear of rejection or
feeling unloved or not acceptedand they start to ask questions

(40:47):
to that part of themselves.
And so by the end of the shadowshift process, they then have
that awareness and understandwhy it's there to be begin with.

I see.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (40:57):
So once they actually understand
it, they're able to give thatpart of themselves love and
compassion, and they can startto actually integrate those
pieces into their reality.
So a lot of times like one of myshadows for me was the not
feeling good enough, not feelingqualified enough.
And so I was always hiding.
I was never showing up in socialmedia a couple years ago.

(41:18):
Like, it was very scary for meto be goofy and show my full
personality because if I didthat.
It meant I was going to berejected and not loved.
And so slowly but surely Istarted to show up on camera.
I started to speak to thecamera.
I started to dance on videos.
I started to bring more of myauthentic personality out.

(41:38):
And so when you start to likeintegrate the pieces, it then
starts to become easier andeasier.
But you, again, like we saidbefore, aligned action, you have
to actually start taking thesteps, but.
We never want to dysregulate thenervous system.
So it's not like you figure outyour shadows and all of a sudden
you just go full throttle and doall the things that you were
really scared to do.

(41:59):
It's like little by little youstart to integrate the pieces
and you start to just love andaccept all of the parts of
yourself, which then adds toyour life.
It really feels like you'rehaving a moment, pun intended,
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(42:41):
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(43:01):
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(43:23):
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Do you watch White Lotus by chance?

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (43:58):
You know, I actually never got into
it, but everyone keeps sayingthat, so I think I need to.

Season three is out right now, and
there's one last episode.
And these are very complexcharacters.
Okay.
I don't even wanna ruin it forpeople who may not be caught up
to date, but let's just saythere are some characters, and I
bring this up in terms of moreof the negative, I guess,
shadows that may exist withinus, because I do think that we
have dualities, right?
Like the what about the ugly?

(44:23):
What if someone, for example,has a really like.
Socially unacceptable shadow forgood reason, because it may be a
detriment to someone else andtheir safety.
So what if someone is reallylike suffering?
Maybe from that shadow, but alsolike it's not good for them to

(44:44):
accept it or embrace it becauseit could be harmful to them or
to other people.
Is there anything.
That we can do in regards tothat.
Like to acknowledge that thisexists, but at the same time,
like not necessarily give itspace to actually thrive.
Does that make sense?

sophia_2_03-31-2025 (45:00):
absolutely.
I think if there's a situationlike that where it's actually
unsafe, we would definitelyacknowledge it.
And a lot of times in mysessions we use somatic, so
we'll do just like a lot ofmovement.

Okay.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123705 (45:12):
them to bring out whatever that is,
the anger or.
Whatever it is that they'refeeling and will allow them to
actually process the emotionsand move through them.
But you don't have to integrateevery single shadow because
there are going to be somethings that may genuinely be
unsafe, but it's still reallyimportant to be aware of them so
that way it doesn't manifest ina really negative light or even

(45:34):
bring more unsafety into theirlife.

That makes a lot of sense.
Okay.
That was, that's what I thought,but I.

sophia_2_03-31-2025 (45:40):
Absolutely.

Be, remain in the dark, but like,
not even remain in the dark,like you're bringing the light
to it so that you canacknowledge it, but then at the
same time, like you can mayberelease it or find ways to cope
in a healthier way to where,

sophia_2_03-31-2025_1237 (45:54):
That's the other thing I was going to
mention is like findinghealthier coping mechanisms and
also still giving themselvescompassion for

mm-hmm.

sophia_2_03-31-2025_123 (46:01):
shadow.
Because I think a lot of timeswhen we are like so harsh and
critical of ourselves and wejudge ourselves, that's when
those actually manifest in waysthat we don't want them to
manifest.
And so when we can at leastbring awareness and love and
compassion and still know like,okay.
This might not be safe toactually like integrate and
bring in, but we can still workthrough it.

(46:22):
We can still process theemotions around it so that it's
not harming us even further.

Just have one more question related
to this cycle of self sabotagethat we so often can find
ourselves in what is, or what doyou believe is the first step
that someone can take to startbreaking free from their self
sabotaging tendencies?

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (46:44):
Yes.
It's always so hard to say, likeevery time I say it, I'm just
like, oh my gosh.

Yes.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_13215 (46:50):
Yeah.
So honestly, the first step thatI tell anyone on their healing
journey and to break free fromself-sabotage is awareness.
It's really looking at, okay,where am I avoiding feeling?
Some type of pain or emotion.
So for example, a lot of times Isee women procrastinating on
their dreams.
This was a big one for me.
It was like anytime I wanted todo something that I genuinely

(47:13):
desired, I would just freeze andnot do anything.
Not take action.
And I see so many women doingthis, and it's because under,
underneath everything, there's afear.
Maybe it's a fear of failure.
Maybe it's a fear of rejectionor judgment, or even a fear of.
Success is a big one that peopledon't even realize they have.
And so the very first step is toget aware, okay, am I

(47:34):
procrastinating?
Am I avoiding by drinking orconstantly trying to escape?
Am I trying to.
Be perfect.
Perfectionism is another form ofself-sabotage.
It's like, where are you waitingto put something out there
because you feel like it's justnot good enough and every single
thing has to be perfect.
And then from there, once you'reaware of what your

(47:55):
self-sabotaging pattern is, andthere's tons of them, it's then
becoming aware of, okay, what amI actually scared of?
What is this underlying fearhere?
And then you start to work withthe fears, and that's where we
start to do the EFT tapping.
We start to do the shadow shiftprocess.
We start to do subconsciousrewiring and all of the things.
But the very first step is thatawareness, because if you're

(48:17):
walking around life withblinders on, I like to say it's
you're gonna continue in thesepatterns.
And it's not until you actuallybecome aware and understand why
they're happening in the firstplace, that you can then begin
to shift your reality.
I.

Yeah.
I agree.
I think awareness, I frame it ashonesty because I do think so
much of it's like connected tointuitive knowing.
Like I think so often we knowthat there's something amiss so
that we want to changesomething.
Maybe we need to get moreintentional around discovering
what is driving some of thosefeelings or.
avoiding certain things, but I,I genuinely believe that we

(48:53):
often know sometimes, and it'sjust a matter of acting and, and
doing the work.
To your point earlier, so lovethe awareness piece and I think
it relates to many facets oflife, not just connected to
sobriety or even healing, justmany things.
It's like you need to act if youwant to actually change and

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (49:11):
And.

you have to be aware.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (49:13):
Yes, yes.
And oh my gosh, I didn't mean tocut you off, but you said
something earlier about honestyand I think being really, really
honest with ourselves,

Right,

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (49:20):
to say radical honesty because a
lot of times we are the reasonfor our own suffering,

right.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (49:25):
we continue to put ourselves in
negative environmentssurrounding ourselves with
negative.
People engaging in unhealthycoping mechanisms and habits.
And at the end of the day, inorder to truly start to shift
your reality and change youridentity and become the
healthiest version of yourself,you have to be willing to really
take a step back, zoom out onyour life, look in the mirror

(49:46):
and say, okay, where am my life?
Am I not showing up for myself?
Where in my life am I?
Allowing people into my spacethat don't deserve to be there.

Right

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (49:55):
I not acting as that highest
version of myself?
And this could be so manythings.
It could be drinking alcohol andpartying.
It could be overeating andsugar, right?
I leaned on sugar after Istopped drinking because it was
like one thing to the nextthing.

object.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (50:09):
so that's something, yeah, that's
something that I've been workingon is no, like that's still a
form of numbing and avoidance.
And so it's really about just.
Getting so radically honest withyourself about what is no longer
serving you, what needs to staywhere it is in order for you to
grow and become the woman that'salready within you.

When you are radically honest, you
are aware and you can no longerdelude yourself into believing
that you're always maybe avictim, because I do think so
often it's easy to stay stuck inthat victim mentality,
especially if you've had, I.
Issues from childhood or traumafrom your past life show up.
Your trauma may not have beenyour fault, but it is your

(50:48):
responsibility.
And I think once you takeautonomy over the fact that this
is my life and I'm responsiblefor orchestrating the best
version of life that I see fit,then you can actually find some,
I think peace in that, but also.
Power

sophia_3_03-31-2025_13215 (51:03):
Yeah.

same time.
So thank you for sharing thatbecause I think, yeah, to your
point, the radical honesty pieceis super important, but also
being kind to yourself andacknowledging that not
everything is your fault, but atthe same time, we need to take
responsibility for our own livesand our own destiny.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_13215 (51:21):
Yeah.
I'm glad you said that too,because I think a lot of times
people confuse radical honestywith like being super judgmental
with themselves,

the-sober-butterfly_3 (51:28):
critical.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_13215 (51:29):
being honest without judgment and
knowing you did the best youcould at that point in time in
your life.

Yeah.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132 (51:35):
honesty in the sense of, okay, I.
This is not working for me.
If I continue doing this, I'mnot going to be able to step
into the woman that I know Idesire to step into and these
things are holding me back, butknowing, okay, it's okay.
Like I did these things in thepast, it, my past does not
define me.

Right.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (51:53):
my story at any time and give
yourself, like you said, thatlove and compassion, it's so
important.

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I know that you mentioned earlier
that you're a big advocate forsolo travel, which I am too.
I think I'm there for women,especially Sophia.
Like my friends think I'm crazy.
They think they're, I'mabsolutely insane that I love to
take solo trips and I'm like, Ithink it's insane that you
don't.
Go anywhere by yourself, but Idigress.
Anyway, I would love to learnfrom you, how has traveling

(52:53):
alone played a role in yourhealing journey?
I know that you mentioned thatyou took that trip to Mexico,
which led you to that ayahuascaexperience in Columbia.
But in general, how has travelreally aided with your overall
healing journey?

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (53:06):
Oh my gosh.
I love this question so muchbecause travel has truly changed
my life in so many ways.
It's my biggest passion.
I always tell women, you have togo on at least one solo trip to
learn so much about yourself andthe world around you.
I.
My first ever solo trip was in2013.
I traveled to an orphanage inGhana

Wow.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (53:25):
that trip shifted so much inside of
me.
It was like such a perspectiveshift.
I realized that the things thatwe complain about here, like are
just not that important, and Irealized in that moment what
gratitude truly was.
And so when I got home, I justrealized like.
I wanna see the world.
I wanna help more people.

(53:46):
I wanna make an impact, but alsograteful every single day for
what we have and just knowingthat you can literally go
somewhere else in the world andrealize how much, like the
differences in culture, thedifferences in religion, how
people are like, when I got toGhana, the people were so happy

(54:06):
and so friendly with barelyanything.

Mm-hmm.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (54:09):
so it just goes to show that sure,
like material possessions andall the things that we have here
in America.
I'm not saying they'renecessarily bad, right, to each
their own, but you should findthat happiness within yourself

Yeah.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_13 (54:21):
anything else.
Like your external circumstancesshould not dictate how you feel
about yourself.

Right.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (54:26):
that trip taught me that.
It was like, wow, I actually, itdoesn't matter if I have the
newest iPhone.
It doesn't matter if I have thedesigner bags.
It doesn't matter about any ofthat.
It's like.
Who am I as a human?
And so that trip shifted so muchfor me, and I knew in that
moment I had to see the world.
So now I've been to 25 countriesand I've done a lot of solo
travel.
And honestly, it really allowsyou to.

(54:50):
Confront parts of yourself.
So like anytime I travel now Ilearn about what I like, what I
don't like.
I learn how to navigatechallenges.
Like when you're in a new placewhere you can't speak the
language and you can't fullycommunicate with other people,
you learn to become resourceful.
I.
You learn to figure out how toget to your Airbnb.
You learn about how to startspeaking, let's say Spanish.

(55:12):
You learn how to read menus andit, they sound so silly, but
truly it, it really gives youthe sense of like confidence and
resilience.
solo travel is also, you meet somany incredible open-minded
people from.
All walks of life, like if youwant to become open-minded, just
start traveling because, justbecause what you learned is the

(55:33):
right way.
Just because you grew up in acertain religion or culture,
it's so important to immerseyourself in other cultures.
Because a firm believer there'sno right way with anything.

Right.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (55:43):
like so many people grow up believing
these certain things, and thenyou meet people from other walks
of life and you.
You're like, wow, like thatreally expanded me.
I wanna learn more about this.
You get to try new foods, youget to see new places, and it's
just, it's truly just anexperience that's hard to put
into words until you actually goand do it yourself.
But I recommend any woman on herhealing journey to go somewhere

(56:06):
where you're feeling like thatintuitive soul calling, because
there's probably something therefor you like.
Anytime I've ever traveled,especially now that I'm sober, I
go with some type of anintention and it is the most
healing, powerful experience andI just recommend everyone in
their lifetime to go on a solotrip because you will truly

(56:27):
learn so much about yourself.

Going back to what you mentioned too
about feeling called to placesI've been called to so many
places and have magical, like,truly transcendental experiences
because something was pulling methere.
And I feel like that's a themefor this episode.
Like when you're being called todo something or like go
somewhere.
It, it's for a reason.
So I would tell people to leanin and not shy away from.

(56:52):
Seeing a place or goingsomewhere solely because you are
afraid of going by yourself.
I think you're in sometimes thebest company with yourself, and
I often wonder if people thinklike, I don't know, like, are
they afraid of being bythemself?

sophia_3_03-31-2025_132150 (57:08):
Oh my gosh, I could not agree with
you more.
It's really one of those, like,you step outta your comfort
zone.
You're not using anyone oranything as a crutch, especially
like sober travel.
It's like you really are puttingyourself out there.
You're, you know, going todifferent experiences.
You're meeting new people,you're really stepping outta
your comfort zone, and it's sucha great way to also build
confidence, because like I said,you're navigating the unknown

(57:29):
sometimes and you just, you getto shift your perspectives and
it's so refreshing.

What's the biggest shift from solo
travel or just travel ingeneral?
Sober versus before?
The before times I.

sophia_3_03-31-2025_13215 (57:41):
Yeah, so like I said, I used travel a
lot to escape before, so it waslike I was going through a
heartbreak book, a flight I wasgoing to party like for spring
break.
There were some trips like I didAfrica, I volunteered, and that
was not a party trip.
But even so, I was alwayslooking to drink.
On most of my trips, it was likewith friends and it was always

(58:02):
like, okay, how can we, what canwe do on the weekends?
And it was always partying.
And so a lot of times when I wasdrinking and traveling, I would
sleep.
The days away I would be nursinga hangover.
I was not fully present.
I wasn't doing a lot of thenourishing experiences that I do
now because of my hangovers.
And so still most of my travel,minus a couple of trips, were

(58:24):
very much focused on.
The next drink.
And so it just took away fromwhat travel is actually about,
which is like immersing yourselfin the culture and learning
about the culture and meetingnew people because my focus was
always about.
What's the next thing I'm gonnado?
And so now, like you said, it'sa lot more intentional.
I'm present, I'm clearheaded.

(58:45):
I have energy.
I wake up early in the morningsand make the most outta my days.
Like I get to eat incrediblefood.
I've met incredible people.
It's completely shifted the wayI travel.
And so I'm super gratefulbecause now I see the world.
I always like to say I see theworld in full color now because
you're so aware.

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the-sober-butterfly_4_03-31 (01:00:42):
All right guys.
Welcome back to the SoberButterfly.
I still have Sophia here and Iwould love to play a little
game.
Let's have some fun.
Sophia, it's a, this or thatgame healing edition.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_133718 (01:00:53):
Oh, I

Are you Okay, great.
Your game.
Love it.
Um, I'm gonna throw out twooptions for you and you just
have to pick one.
I don't want you to overthink.
Are you ready?

sophia_4_03-31-2025_133718 (01:01:02):
I'm ready.
Let's go.

the-sober-butterfly_4_03- (01:01:04):
Okay.
My first question for you, solotrip to Bali or a sober retreat
in Costa Rica.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_133718 (01:01:13):
Uh, solo trip to Bali

the-sober-butterfly_4_03-31-2 (01:01:15):
I would pick the same, shadow work
with a coach or doing it solo.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_133 (01:01:20):
Shadow.
Work with a coach, a hundredpercent.

Love that I can see why now from this
episode.
My next one for you is a weekendwellness retreat or a
spontaneous solo road trip.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_133718 (01:01:34):
Ooh, this is a hard one.
I would say the first one, thistime,

Okay.
Weekend wellness retreat.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_13 (01:01:43):
wellness retreat.
Yeah.

Um, breaking up with a toxic partner
or quitting alcohol.
This is a hard one.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_133718 (01:01:51):
I am like, gosh, those are tied.
I would say, oh my goodness, Ihave to pick one of these.
I mean, they're both, they'reboth equal.
I would honestly say breaking upwith a toxic partner because
once you break up with them,then you probably will start
looking at your relationshipwith alcohol.
I.

Yeah, exactly like the glow up really
happens after you ditch thattoxic partner.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_133718 (01:02:11):
I had to get outta my toxic
relationships before I decidedto get sober.
So that's just like my path.
But both of them,

the-sober-butterfly_4_03-31- (01:02:17):
I, I agree.
I agree.
Okay.
My last one for you is Morning,EFT Tapping or nighttime shadow
work.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_13 (01:02:24):
morning, EFT Tapping.

the-sober-butterfly_4_03 (01:02:26):
'cause it sets the tone for your day, I
imagine.
Yeah.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_1337 (01:02:29):
thing.

the-sober-butterfly_4_03-31-2 (01:02:30):
I love what, well, thank you for
playing this or that healingedition.
Sophia, this has been such anincredible convo.
Before we wrap up, I wanted toknow where people can find you
if they wanna work with you orfollow your healing journey.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_133718 (01:02:43):
Yes, absolutely.
Well, first off, thank you somuch for having me.
I'm so grateful.
This was an incredibleconversation.
If you wanna connect with me, Ihave my podcast, which is called
Her Journey Home, and myInstagram is at her Journey Home
Pod.
You can also reach me on myInstagram, which is at Sophia
Granola.
I'm sure that you will link itin the show notes.

(01:03:04):
And I have my free communitycalled Her Journey Home
Collective, where we have theEFT toppings and 20 other
incredible women that you canconnect with that are also on
their healing journeys.
And I'm also right now offeringa 90 day program called The
Journey Home, which is where wewill actually help you to step
into your new identity, becomethe most confident, glowing,

(01:03:27):
healthy version of yourself.
We will help you to rewirelimiting beliefs.
We will reconnect you with yourpassions and your purpose and
truly step into the woman thatis just magnetic.
And this is what I want forevery woman to build a life that
is so rich with self-worth,purpose, adventure, where
alcohol and otherself-sabotaging behaviors become

(01:03:48):
irrelevant.
So if you're interested in goingdeeper, the deep work, I also
offer one-off EFT tappingsessions to help you to unlock
your true potential.
So I have lots of ways to workwith me, but go ahead and just
DM me on Instagram and we cantalk about what works best for
you.

Thank you and I will link all of that
in the show notes, guys, to makeit super easy to find.
Finally, Sophia, if you couldleave us with one piece of
advice for breaking free fromToxic Cycles and stepping into
said power, what would it be?

sophia_4_03-31-2025_133718 (01:04:20):
Ooh, yes.
So the first thing I wanna sayis you have the power within
you.
It is never too late to rewriteyour story.
Your past, as I mentionedearlier, does not define you.
You are not your habits.
You are not your feelings.
You are not your past mistakes.
You can take all of your pastand turn it into gold.
You can take all of thechallenging times and take that

(01:04:42):
and turn it into golden nuggetsand wisdom and lessons to shape
your reality.
So just because you have beenthrough something that is
really, really difficult, youcan use that to literally
transform your life.
Like I said, your mess canbecome your message.
So just remember nothing outsideof you can change your reality.
You have the power within you.

Your mess can become your message.
Thank you so much for sharingeverything today with us Sophia.

sophia_4_03-31-2025_13371 (01:05:09):
Thank you so much for having me on.
I am so, so excited to hear thisback.

the-sober-butterfly_13 (01:05:15):
Sophia's story is such a testament to
what's possible when you stoplooking for validation outside
of yourself and start doing theinner work, whether that's EFT,
tapping, shadow work, solotravel, or simply getting
radically honest with yourself.
Healing is always available toyou.
If this episode resonated withyou, here's how you can keep the

(01:05:37):
convo going.
Watch the full episode onYouTube, subscribe.
Drop a comment with your biggesttakeaway.
Leave a review on Apple Podcastor Spotify.
It seriously helps more peoplefind this show.
Follow at the Period SoberButterfly or Sober Butterfly
podcast on Instagram and sharethis episode with someone who

(01:05:59):
needs it.
And check out Sophia's podcast,her journey home for more wisdom
on healing and self-discovery.
Everything is linked below inthe show notes.
That's all I have for you guystoday.
Until next Friday, keep growing,keep healing, and keep flying
butterflies.
I love you guys.
Bye bye.

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