June 25, 2024 • 21 mins
Can you imagine sharing your life with someone for over six decades? Join us as we uncover the secrets behind long-lasting marriages with heartwarming stories and invaluable insights. Craig Dahlen, Josh Goding, and Greg Carter share personal anecdotes about their parents and grandparents, who have celebrated marriages spanning 50, 60, and even 70 years. From the humility and shared commitment in Josh's grandparents' nearly 70-year union to the values imparted by Greg's parents during their 61-year marriage, we explore the foundational elements of love, trust, and unconditional support that make these relationships thrive.
But that's not all—get ready for a deep dive into the importance of communication and commitment. Discover how Dan and Sabrina's whirlwind romance, fueled by three months of virtual communication on Match.com, highlights the power of mutual respect, shared faith, and the freedom to be oneself within a marriage. As we wrap up, we reflect on the perseverance required to weather life's challenges together, celebrating the journey and shared experiences that deepen love and understanding. Join us for an inspiring conversation on nurturing and sustaining a committed relationship over the decades.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All the good things must come to an end.
Oh yeah, we're doing good.
No one likes us sooner thanothers.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hey, there's 3, 2, it's 12, 22.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Like wow, hey uh.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Zoink 20 minutes into the witchy.
Now, yeah, hey.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome to the Solution.
I'm your host, craig Dallin.
Here we are, I'm with my twogood buddies.
We're at the uh.
Where are we at?
We're at the station tonight,aren't we?
Yes, we are Good, greg.
How's it going?
Good, that clock says 1222 am.
We are ready to give ourlisteners a good show tonight,
wow.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
This morning, I should say Pick up the wrist
bitch.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, wow, oh no.
Yeah, we're very, very happy tobe here tonight.
We're going to be talking aboutpositive things tonight,
positive things only.
Well, we're going to be talkingabout what does it take to go
to your 50-year reunion?
Well, your 50 years marriage,wedding anniversary.
(01:00):
What's it take to get there?
What's it take to get to the 55, 60 to 65 year mark?
Well, we're gonna have a couplecomments from a nice lovely
couple my, my folks, my mom anddad that made it to 65 years.
They're still cruising alongwow, yeah, that's yep that's
awesome.
and then we got dan and sabrina.
(01:20):
They've uh, they met, you know,they courted, they dated on
Facebook for three months, theymet one time and they're getting
married and I got a nice littleinterview with them.
So that's coming up.
It's very romantic.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
All right, yeah, yeah .
Speaker 2 (01:36):
But anyway, my name is Craig Dowell and I'm here
with Josh Goeding, I'm here withGreg Carter Hello there, two
awesome co-hosts and let's do it.
We're talking about love, sowhat do you guys think Before we
go into anything?
What do you guys think aboutwhen I say something like okay,
you're going to be married for50 years?
(01:58):
What stories do you know?
What did it take Anybody thatyou know?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
what kind of things did it take to get there?
My parents talked to my momabout it.
She would try to give me advice.
You know like, for when thattime comes love, trust, being
there unconditionally, put out ahundred percent but expect zero
percent back.
You you know, yeah, as far asfor just being there, being a
(02:28):
great mother, but alwaystrusting, always loving.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I don't have all these expectations.
Like I did this for you, so youhave to do this for me, right?
You know, mom was one of thosepeople that she just said hey,
you know, you have a mother anda household or a wife.
You now created a home.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Right, yes.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Do you think a family that has kids does that
strengthen a marriage?
I would say it would have todepend on the family dynamics.
I believe with my parents itdid, Just because mom and dad
could face everything that cametheir way.
You know, raising childrenthey're excellent.
Parents Raised me, taught methe right morals.
(03:17):
Yes, it's unfortunately.
Some children did not receivethat teachings.
They're not taught socialetiquette teachings.
They're not taught socialetiquette, Sure, they're not
taught morals.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yeah, because along the way in that marriage, mom
and dad can see the kids growingup good and that's got to be a
real source of good pride.
Absolutely, that can be usedand built upon, for sure.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Yeah, plus, mom and dad would have been married 61
years, just short of 61 years.
Dad, of course, had passed awaya few months before it would
have been their 61st anniversaryOkay, right before your 61st
okay.
Yeah, he was just faithful.
I just seen this mother andfather that always got along,
that were always a couple, thatwere always there for each other
(04:06):
there was never this jealousybetween the two of them, which
nice.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I didn't have to experience that growing up so
they both had the right amountof humility.
Right, they'd had to have had,yes, the right size, like that,
not better or not worse?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
no, exactly beautiful , it is beautiful.
Yeah, I'm glad I got toexperience that.
You know, know, to have parentslike that.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Oh yeah, Now, Josh, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
when it comes to that Well more specifically, what do
I think about what I'm?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
sorry.
Well, let's think of somebodythat's been married a good many
years.
Yeah, and when you look attheir marriage just outside of
looking in what appears to youthat held them together.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
The.
The only example I can think ofis would be my grandparents on
my, my stepmom's side.
So her folks were married, um,right after the war.
So almost 70 years, I think.
Wow, yeah, and they both livedquite a long time and they're
both passed on now, but I don'tknow what their secret was.
(05:10):
I know they were really quitedifferent people and I think
there must have been a lot ofyou know, I think probably the
secret to um getting gettingthat far and and and staying
together that long must besomething to do with subverting
one's own ego and and and almostmaking it sort of a sacred
(05:33):
commitment to the other by, youknow, kind of the, the, the
divine, if you will, or the kindof the divine, if you will, the
, what's the word?
The sacrament that marriagecould be is like a form of
unblowingness.
(05:54):
Because, I know more about howto not succeed at marriage than
I know about succeeding atmarriage.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Well, you've been married twice, but we don't need
to go there, that's okay, wecan go there.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I went there.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You.
Well, let's say, when you're,when you're married, you know
when things were going great.
What was it that made it gogreat?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Um, I think, uh, forgiveness, yeah, and, and
Forgiveness, yeah, and nottaking yourself too seriously
and trying to use humor andtrying to just be light with
things and trying to putyourself first, really, because
that's what you do when you'resingle, yeah, so I think the
(06:36):
secret to marriage might besimilar to the secret to being a
great parent, where your life'sover buddy no, just kidding.
It's really more about, I think, service and compromise than it
is about winning fights and youknow your partner is not a
competitor, yeah Should be yeahyeah.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Should be.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
But I think, like some of my grandparents, it's
sort of funny or ironic orwhatever it is.
It's sad.
People get along better as theyage because their hearing kind
of goes in their sight and theycan either hear nor see each
other, and then they get alonggreat.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Oh, okay.
Well, they look at each otherwith sometimes they look at each
other with eyes that are justsaying, wow, we're still
together.
You know, there's got to bethose days where I mean they say
that, love, I don't know, aftera certain amount of time it
does something, a slight fade,but it does come back.
(07:38):
At times too, it can come backstronger than ever, right, but
there is a fade to it does comeback at times too.
It can come back stronger thanever, right, but there is a fade
to it.
And that's just, you know, justgetting used to somebody.
You know, it's not not thenewness of that new relationship
where you're all excited, right, that's not going to stay on
forever, like you know.
Whatever might last, for Idon't know what the age is on
that is that like?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
but marrying for chemistry, you know, like your
romantic love, is that a mistake?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I think the bond is stronger, though like the
passion part you know might fadeaway, but the bond is stronger.
There was an article I sawseveral years ago on Facebook
and it showed this coupledrinking coffee real old couple,
right Drinking coffee, readingthe news, sharing the same
(08:25):
newspaper and it showed thisyoung couple go God, I hope like
we're not like they are thatthey were separate, sitting on
opposite sides of the circulartable and then the camera went
and it went below the table ofthe old couple and they were
holding hands below.
Oh, absolutely so it wasn't whatit appeared to be.
On top, they were there holdinghands, whereas the young people
(08:46):
, they were body-wise, they weredistant with each other,
assuming they still had this mad, passionate love about them.
But the older couple,apparently, their bond was
strong.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yes, I like that.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I like that, seeing that it was pretty cool and
they've got more stories to tell.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yes, because stories is what bonds us together, right
.
Right, yes, it does, yeah, andthat's a really good point about
the.
You know they're holding hands,but it was underneath.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, you know the word lust too.
It doesn't have to be a badword, no, the word lust, too, it
doesn't have to be a bad word,no.
But it does fade, yeah, butwhen it fades it gives way to
other words, like you said, abonding Right and a respect,
yeah, that deep respect.
(09:35):
And once that's developed,because a man cannot what do
they say?
A man, a woman, if she does notrespect a man, cannot love him.
A man can love a woman If heloses respect.
What that is, I don't know, butit's true.
So respect is a huge, hugething to maintain in that
(09:55):
relationship, you know, and alsoyou think about it.
I can't ever go a show withoutsaying this, it seems like, but
sexual polarity is huge.
You know, if you're in arelationship, a married
relationship, and you come homeevery night after work and the
guy's in his masculine and maybethe wife has a job, job, town,
(10:19):
town, and she's intermasculineyet she hasn't switched over and
maybe she's not going to, thatplays hell on the relationship.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
She starts harping on the honey-do list.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yes, and that will tear that relationship, because
when you have that sexualpolarity, what it means is you
have a negative and a positivegoing on.
It means you have a masculineand a feminine, and then that
car will start every time, andso that is something big, if you
(10:49):
know.
They say they talk about well,oh, it shouldn't be roles, we
shouldn't have to be playingthis role and that role.
But if you go think right downto it, the successful marriages
learn how to play their roles,because you cannot have that
sexual polarity until that'sunderstood.
I know that I've been involvedin that you might be with
(11:14):
somebody or whatever, and ifthey're playing it, if it's the
woman, if she's in her feminine,I guarantee you the guy's going
to love her, it's going to gosmooth.
But if she's hanging out in hermasculine all the time, the
guy's going to go oh man, yeah,she's ordering him around doing
this and that.
(11:35):
So there's a lot to be saidabout that.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
And I know a lot of people don't like to hear it,
but it doesn't matter becauseit's true.
It's not romantic and itdoesn't.
There's no harmony from youknow, um making love, I guess.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
No, you make love with it.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
It's like you're making love with a guy or
somebody of your own clarityyeah, imagine it's not gonna
even happen, kind of right likeit's hard to be to seduce that
person or be interested in doingso, I found when a woman is, as
you say, acting this way, yeah,because yeah, I think in
(12:15):
marriages my story would be myparents.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You'll hear from them at the end here, but viewing
them all these years, what I'veseen is a lot of and dad will
say it right away, it'sinteresting, he'll say.
He'll say, yeah, mom wants to.
For years she would always youknow, we sell a lot of horses
come and go from the place andmom would be like, well, I want
to take these horses here and gosell them, or whatever.
(12:39):
Dad would be like, well, I wantto take these horses here and
go sell them, or whatever.
Dad would be like, no, juststay home.
But what he would do, he wouldnever tell her you need to do
this, you have to do thatbecause he knows how she is.
She would do it.
Instead.
He would say, well, I don'tthink you should, but do what
you want to do, or whatever.
(13:01):
She would always just kind oflike Her rebellious side would
turn into teamwork because sheknew that it took teamwork.
Yes, and so by him saying thatthat involved the teamwork, not
saying hey, don't go there,don't do this, don't do that, no
, it's saying you have thefreedom to do that, but it might
(13:26):
not be the best thing to do,and that worked with her.
That's brilliant.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
It shifts the focus.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
The whole subject.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
And I think that, and they just had a lot of
commitment, commitment to justteam effort, team effort.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I like that yeah.
Yeah so one of my sponsors saidthat he goes, greg, my wife has
the freedom to do what shewants to do just because I
married her.
A marriage certificate is not abill of sale or ownership
papers.
Right, it just isn't.
They have that freedom.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, when you allow somebody that freedom.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
They draw in closer to you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yes, there's no love without freedom.
That's a quote anyway, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Because it's like two people If you chase somebody
that you want, so bad orwhatever, you chase that
situation, what's that going todo?
Quite often they'll take thatperson go that way.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yeah, push them away, repel them, but if you give
them freedom and allow, they'llwalk towards you.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Right, agreed yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
If they like you yeah .
Speaker 2 (14:29):
So, anyway, we're going to listen to Dan and
Sabrina, We'll go ahead and I'llgive them a little bit of an
intro.
But, like I said, they met onMatchcom.
He's from here, he grew up herein Iowa City area and she's
pretty much.
She lives in Kentucky now and Ibelieve she's been living in
(14:50):
Kentucky in California.
But they met on Matchcom.
They talked for three months.
They didn't nothing more thanthat.
But you can do it where you cansee them and they well, they'll
tell you the story.
But now they, for their veryfirst meeting, they decided to
get married.
So they're going to be gettingmarried here in a month, a month
(15:10):
, and a half maybe two months,but anyway, pretty soon.
And so, uh, we'll see right herewhat they have to say, so we'll
be right out, we'll be backafter you.
Uh, hear from dan sabrina.
Wow, that was you guys think ofthat?
That was all I did was.
(15:31):
Yeah, yes, it was and we didn'tum we didn't attack sabrina
either.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
No, like josh and I wanted to well well right yeah,
no, I'm joking, I know like thetaste of shoe leather yeah, yeah
, right, yeah.
Food.
Food in the food in the booty.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Well, yeah, you never know what's going to happen.
No, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
I mean, I hope it works out for them, but the way
it's looking from here itdoesn't look like it's going to.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Why do you say that?
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Oh, man, Because of are we still recording, are we?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Oh, I thought um.
We still recording, are we?
Yeah, oh, I thought, okay, okay, we'll stop.
I gotta get a drink anyway.
I'm done.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
I didn't know.
We're still recording.
Go hey oh yeah, it's possible.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
We shouldn't you know , maybe no one will thank us for
speaking.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Thank you I haven't explored it in so much Get out
of there.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
My head exploded.
My eyes are fucking out.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
I haven't experienced this much pleasure.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
The gubernatorial race, the gubernatorial, the
gubernator, and we're back.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Get out of there Blah , blah, blah no.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
But anyway, yeah Well , we're back, let me see, here
we're back.
Three, two.
Yeah Well, let me see, herewe're back.
Three, two, one.
Well guys, what did you thinkabout that deal there?
Personally, I thought that wasa good interview.
I enjoyed that.
I give them a good shot.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
I enjoyed listening to them Just wishing the best of
luck and and hope they realizewhat they're getting into
Lifelong time of commitment,loyalty, love, unconditional
love responsibility.
And communication.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Definitely communication and complete
submission to one's wife.
Wow.
I mean they're committed tocommunication and to
conversation and to faith, and Ithink those things are, yeah,
that's some powerful stuffreally.
That's if you have access tothe inner workings of your loved
one and the inner workings, butif you know their mind and
(17:42):
feelings, I mean that's.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Some people don't even have that.
When they talked about thefaith, sharing the same faith,
being equally yoked, that's whatI liked, because a couple can
be off in some places and ifyou're equally yoked, god has a
way of straightening things out.
You know that's called to melike the X factor.
Okay, I wouldn't use that name.
(18:05):
But I mean, if you have God andyou're equally yoked, he just
has a way of smoothing thingsout.
That's my opinion for sure.
I know everybody doesn't sharethat same opinion.
That's okay, but that'sdefinitely mine.
I know it's Dan and Sabrina's.
What do you guys?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
think about that.
Yeah, that's the way I wasraised.
I remember hearing mom givingrelationship advice as a child
to people in the church and shewould say well, you know what
the one scripture says you needto be equally yoked.
You're starting a relationshipwith an unbeliever, with an
atheist or agnostic, and you'rea believer.
You believe in Jesus Christ.
I'd be careful about that.
(18:45):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Yeah and that's no.
You're exactly right.
I thought that was the one.
Two big things from thattakeaways was that, and the
other one is I feel that theyreally try to communicate.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yes, yeah, as long as the softer spoken partner makes
sure their voice is alwaysstill heard.
I think they've got a decentshake at it, as just about
anybody, right?
Exactly, I think they've got adecent shake at it as just about
anybody.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Right, exactly, and that's a good point, because
sometimes people can talk, theycan communicate, but one of
those people might not begetting it all out being heard.
So if they both have that equalsay, that's the most important.
Are you getting equal say, say,because you can communicate, we
(19:33):
can all communicate, but areyou equally getting that equal
say what you need to say andworking through?
That Is all the data collected.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Yeah, are you allowing your partner to be
heard, or are they allowing youto be heard as well?
Right, that's huge.
Yeah, that's huge Right.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Otherwise you have a petty dictator and a subject.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Otherwise.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Right.
So, yeah, that's what you don'twant.
But yeah, so, dan, sabrina,nice job.
Thank you.
Now we're going to go.
Yeah, good luck.
Oh, absolutely, that'sdefinitely good luck.
Absolutely Good luck.
Oh, absolutely, that'sdefinitely good luck.
Absolutely.
And we appreciate them comingon the show.
For sure, absolutely.
And I got a little couplequestions.
(20:15):
I asked my folks, my mom anddad.
They've been married for 65years.
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Yeah, your parents are so cool, I got to say oh,
thank you, they are cool.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, I'm definitely blessed with those two and yeah,
they know both you guys andthey always have good words for
you guys.
And yeah, they are.
And what I notice about them isthey just have had such the
commitment of marriage and well,equally believers too, equally
yoked.
And well, equally believers too, equally yoked.
(20:51):
Every morning they wake upabout well, around 6 or so 536.
They're always watchingShepherd's Chapel together.
That's a good bit of Christianfaith in the morning.
They share and they still actlike they're teenagers.
You know they really do, andthat's nice to see.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Yes, it is, it's nice to see they keep their sense of
playfulness.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yes, yes, definitely.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
That's nice.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, it is.
It is so basically, okay, we'regoing to listen to them real
quick, then we're going to comeback.
So that was great, wasn't it?
Yes, yes, it was.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Sorry, what's that crap on there?
The vest, if you can just checkthat out.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't think it's going tocrash the program.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
It's not doing that.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
No, there we go yeah, okay that I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
No, I wish I would have done that, there we go.
Yeah, that's annoying as heck.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Oh, coming down to three, two, one.
Well, that was.
Did you enjoy that?
I just asked them a fewquestions just to get their take
on it.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
That does make a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
You know we wanted to do a show with just positive
things in it for once.
You know, just, you know what'sit going to take.
Basically, you know, and Ithink when I think of myself,
you know what comes, what risesto the very, very top in a
relationship.
And you know, I've been inquite a few.
But I'm going to say that youknow, we don't keep trying.
We always keep trying, yes, butI would like to turn that
trying into just a commitment totrying and staying almost.
You know a person, there'salways going to be bad parts of
a relationship, always going tohave that, you know, as long as
(22:39):
those parts are not abusive inany way mentally, physically,
you know, as long as the otherperson is trying, as long as the
other person knows who they areand knows what they need to
work on, you know, then you canhave a great relationship.
But yeah, I guess for me, whatmy folks taught me was stay in
(23:02):
it, commitment.
And if you're going to do it,you know, yeah, the journey, the
journey, yeah.
And if you're going to do it,you know yeah, the journey, the
journey, yeah, because the moreyou know somebody, the more
(23:23):
experiences you have with them,the more times you go down that
slippy slide together, the moreyou fall in love.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yes, slippy slide, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Slippy slide Lawn banana.
Well, it's a water park deal,but slippy slide.
So any parting comments fromyou guys.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Great show.
I enjoyed the interviews.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Yeah, I enjoyed the interviews.
Yeah, thanks to all theinterviewees.
Thanks for your help.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, thanks folks, mom and Dad, thanks Mom and Dad,
and thanks Dad and Sabrina.
So heck, yeah.
Well, we're going to call thisa show and I'm going to bid
adieu for Greg and Josh andmyself.
I say thank you, listener,you're number one to us, then
you take care.
(24:06):
We'll talk to you next time.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
All right, you're going to bid, I do, I do,
alright that was good, that'sgood that's gonna be good and we
didn't bash.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Sabrina which was cool.
My big concern was one of us,myself included, might have a.
All the good things must come to an end.
Oh yeah, we're doing good.
No one likes us sooner thanothers.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hey, there's 3, 2, it's 12, 22.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Like wow, hey uh.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Zoink 20 minutes into the witchy.
Now, yeah, hey.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome to the Solution.
I'm your host, craig Dallin.
Here we are, I'm with my twogood buddies.
We're at the uh.
Where are we at?
We're at the station tonight,aren't we?
Yes, we are Good, greg.
How's it going?
Good, that clock says 1222 am.
We are ready to give ourlisteners a good show tonight,
wow.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
This morning, I should say Pick up the wrist
bitch.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, wow, oh no.
Yeah, we're very, very happy tobe here tonight.
We're going to be talking aboutpositive things tonight,
positive things only.
Well, we're going to be talkingabout what does it take to go
to your 50-year reunion?
Well, your 50 years marriage,wedding anniversary.
(01:00):
What's it take to get there?
What's it take to get to the 55, 60 to 65 year mark?
Well, we're gonna have a couplecomments from a nice lovely
couple my, my folks, my mom anddad that made it to 65 years.
They're still cruising alongwow, yeah, that's yep that's
awesome.
and then we got dan and sabrina.
(01:20):
They've uh, they met, you know,they courted, they dated on
Facebook for three months, theymet one time and they're getting
married and I got a nice littleinterview with them.
So that's coming up.
It's very romantic.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
All right, yeah, yeah .
Speaker 2 (01:36):
But anyway, my name is Craig Dowell and I'm here
with Josh Goeding, I'm here withGreg Carter Hello there, two
awesome co-hosts and let's do it.
We're talking about love, sowhat do you guys think Before we
go into anything?
What do you guys think aboutwhen I say something like okay,
you're going to be married for50 years?
(01:58):
What stories do you know?
What did it take Anybody thatyou know?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
what kind of things did it take to get there?
My parents talked to my momabout it.
She would try to give me advice.
You know like, for when thattime comes love, trust, being
there unconditionally, put out ahundred percent but expect zero
percent back.
You you know, yeah, as far asfor just being there, being a
(02:28):
great mother, but alwaystrusting, always loving.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
I don't have all these expectations.
Like I did this for you, so youhave to do this for me, right?
You know, mom was one of thosepeople that she just said hey,
you know, you have a mother anda household or a wife.
You now created a home.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Right, yes.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Do you think a family that has kids does that
strengthen a marriage?
I would say it would have todepend on the family dynamics.
I believe with my parents itdid, Just because mom and dad
could face everything that cametheir way.
You know, raising childrenthey're excellent.
Parents Raised me, taught methe right morals.
(03:17):
Yes, it's unfortunately.
Some children did not receivethat teachings.
They're not taught socialetiquette teachings.
They're not taught socialetiquette, Sure, they're not
taught morals.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yeah, because along the way in that marriage, mom
and dad can see the kids growingup good and that's got to be a
real source of good pride.
Absolutely, that can be usedand built upon, for sure.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Yeah, plus, mom and dad would have been married 61
years, just short of 61 years.
Dad, of course, had passed awaya few months before it would
have been their 61st anniversaryOkay, right before your 61st
okay.
Yeah, he was just faithful.
I just seen this mother andfather that always got along,
that were always a couple, thatwere always there for each other
(04:06):
there was never this jealousybetween the two of them, which
nice.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I didn't have to experience that growing up so
they both had the right amountof humility.
Right, they'd had to have had,yes, the right size, like that,
not better or not worse?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
no, exactly beautiful , it is beautiful.
Yeah, I'm glad I got toexperience that.
You know, know, to have parentslike that.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Oh yeah, Now, Josh, what do you think?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
when it comes to that Well more specifically, what do
I think about what I'm?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
sorry.
Well, let's think of somebodythat's been married a good many
years.
Yeah, and when you look attheir marriage just outside of
looking in what appears to youthat held them together.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
The.
The only example I can think ofis would be my grandparents on
my, my stepmom's side.
So her folks were married, um,right after the war.
So almost 70 years, I think.
Wow, yeah, and they both livedquite a long time and they're
both passed on now, but I don'tknow what their secret was.
(05:10):
I know they were really quitedifferent people and I think
there must have been a lot ofyou know, I think probably the
secret to um getting gettingthat far and and and staying
together that long must besomething to do with subverting
one's own ego and and and almostmaking it sort of a sacred
(05:33):
commitment to the other by, youknow, kind of the, the, the
divine, if you will, or the kindof the divine, if you will, the
, what's the word?
The sacrament that marriagecould be is like a form of
unblowingness.
(05:54):
Because, I know more about howto not succeed at marriage than
I know about succeeding atmarriage.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Well, you've been married twice, but we don't need
to go there, that's okay, wecan go there.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I went there.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You.
Well, let's say, when you're,when you're married, you know
when things were going great.
What was it that made it gogreat?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Um, I think, uh, forgiveness, yeah, and, and
Forgiveness, yeah, and nottaking yourself too seriously
and trying to use humor andtrying to just be light with
things and trying to putyourself first, really, because
that's what you do when you'resingle, yeah, so I think the
(06:36):
secret to marriage might besimilar to the secret to being a
great parent, where your life'sover buddy no, just kidding.
It's really more about, I think, service and compromise than it
is about winning fights and youknow your partner is not a
competitor, yeah Should be yeahyeah.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Should be.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
But I think, like some of my grandparents, it's
sort of funny or ironic orwhatever it is.
It's sad.
People get along better as theyage because their hearing kind
of goes in their sight and theycan either hear nor see each
other, and then they get alonggreat.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Oh, okay.
Well, they look at each otherwith sometimes they look at each
other with eyes that are justsaying, wow, we're still
together.
You know, there's got to bethose days where I mean they say
that, love, I don't know, aftera certain amount of time it
does something, a slight fade,but it does come back.
(07:38):
At times too, it can come backstronger than ever, right, but
there is a fade to it does comeback at times too.
It can come back stronger thanever, right, but there is a fade
to it.
And that's just, you know, justgetting used to somebody.
You know, it's not not thenewness of that new relationship
where you're all excited, right, that's not going to stay on
forever, like you know.
Whatever might last, for Idon't know what the age is on
that is that like?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
but marrying for chemistry, you know, like your
romantic love, is that a mistake?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I think the bond is stronger, though like the
passion part you know might fadeaway, but the bond is stronger.
There was an article I sawseveral years ago on Facebook
and it showed this coupledrinking coffee real old couple,
right Drinking coffee, readingthe news, sharing the same
(08:25):
newspaper and it showed thisyoung couple go God, I hope like
we're not like they are thatthey were separate, sitting on
opposite sides of the circulartable and then the camera went
and it went below the table ofthe old couple and they were
holding hands below.
Oh, absolutely so it wasn't whatit appeared to be.
On top, they were there holdinghands, whereas the young people
(08:46):
, they were body-wise, they weredistant with each other,
assuming they still had this mad, passionate love about them.
But the older couple,apparently, their bond was
strong.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Yes, I like that.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I like that, seeing that it was pretty cool and
they've got more stories to tell.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yes, because stories is what bonds us together, right
.
Right, yes, it does, yeah, andthat's a really good point about
the.
You know they're holding hands,but it was underneath.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, you know the word lust too.
It doesn't have to be a badword, no, the word lust, too, it
doesn't have to be a bad word,no.
But it does fade, yeah, butwhen it fades it gives way to
other words, like you said, abonding Right and a respect,
yeah, that deep respect.
(09:35):
And once that's developed,because a man cannot what do
they say?
A man, a woman, if she does notrespect a man, cannot love him.
A man can love a woman If heloses respect.
What that is, I don't know, butit's true.
So respect is a huge, hugething to maintain in that
(09:55):
relationship, you know, and alsoyou think about it.
I can't ever go a show withoutsaying this, it seems like, but
sexual polarity is huge.
You know, if you're in arelationship, a married
relationship, and you come homeevery night after work and the
guy's in his masculine and maybethe wife has a job, job, town,
(10:19):
town, and she's intermasculineyet she hasn't switched over and
maybe she's not going to, thatplays hell on the relationship.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
She starts harping on the honey-do list.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yes, and that will tear that relationship, because
when you have that sexualpolarity, what it means is you
have a negative and a positivegoing on.
It means you have a masculineand a feminine, and then that
car will start every time, andso that is something big, if you
(10:49):
know.
They say they talk about well,oh, it shouldn't be roles, we
shouldn't have to be playingthis role and that role.
But if you go think right downto it, the successful marriages
learn how to play their roles,because you cannot have that
sexual polarity until that'sunderstood.
I know that I've been involvedin that you might be with
(11:14):
somebody or whatever, and ifthey're playing it, if it's the
woman, if she's in her feminine,I guarantee you the guy's going
to love her, it's going to gosmooth.
But if she's hanging out in hermasculine all the time, the
guy's going to go oh man, yeah,she's ordering him around doing
this and that.
(11:35):
So there's a lot to be saidabout that.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
And I know a lot of people don't like to hear it,
but it doesn't matter becauseit's true.
It's not romantic and itdoesn't.
There's no harmony from youknow, um making love, I guess.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
No, you make love with it.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
It's like you're making love with a guy or
somebody of your own clarityyeah, imagine it's not gonna
even happen, kind of right likeit's hard to be to seduce that
person or be interested in doingso, I found when a woman is, as
you say, acting this way, yeah,because yeah, I think in
(12:15):
marriages my story would be myparents.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You'll hear from them at the end here, but viewing
them all these years, what I'veseen is a lot of and dad will
say it right away, it'sinteresting, he'll say.
He'll say, yeah, mom wants to.
For years she would always youknow, we sell a lot of horses
come and go from the place andmom would be like, well, I want
to take these horses here and gosell them, or whatever.
(12:39):
Dad would be like, well, I wantto take these horses here and
go sell them, or whatever.
Dad would be like, no, juststay home.
But what he would do, he wouldnever tell her you need to do
this, you have to do thatbecause he knows how she is.
She would do it.
Instead.
He would say, well, I don'tthink you should, but do what
you want to do, or whatever.
(13:01):
She would always just kind oflike Her rebellious side would
turn into teamwork because sheknew that it took teamwork.
Yes, and so by him saying thatthat involved the teamwork, not
saying hey, don't go there,don't do this, don't do that, no
, it's saying you have thefreedom to do that, but it might
(13:26):
not be the best thing to do,and that worked with her.
That's brilliant.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
It shifts the focus.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
The whole subject.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
And I think that, and they just had a lot of
commitment, commitment to justteam effort, team effort.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I like that yeah.
Yeah so one of my sponsors saidthat he goes, greg, my wife has
the freedom to do what shewants to do just because I
married her.
A marriage certificate is not abill of sale or ownership
papers.
Right, it just isn't.
They have that freedom.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, when you allow somebody that freedom.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
They draw in closer to you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yes, there's no love without freedom.
That's a quote anyway, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Because it's like two people If you chase somebody
that you want, so bad orwhatever, you chase that
situation, what's that going todo?
Quite often they'll take thatperson go that way.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yeah, push them away, repel them, but if you give
them freedom and allow, they'llwalk towards you.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Right, agreed yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
If they like you yeah .
Speaker 2 (14:29):
So, anyway, we're going to listen to Dan and
Sabrina, We'll go ahead and I'llgive them a little bit of an
intro.
But, like I said, they met onMatchcom.
He's from here, he grew up herein Iowa City area and she's
pretty much.
She lives in Kentucky now and Ibelieve she's been living in
(14:50):
Kentucky in California.
But they met on Matchcom.
They talked for three months.
They didn't nothing more thanthat.
But you can do it where you cansee them and they well, they'll
tell you the story.
But now they, for their veryfirst meeting, they decided to
get married.
So they're going to be gettingmarried here in a month, a month
(15:10):
, and a half maybe two months,but anyway, pretty soon.
And so, uh, we'll see right herewhat they have to say, so we'll
be right out, we'll be backafter you.
Uh, hear from dan sabrina.
Wow, that was you guys think ofthat?
That was all I did was.
(15:31):
Yeah, yes, it was and we didn'tum we didn't attack sabrina
either.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
No, like josh and I wanted to well well right yeah,
no, I'm joking, I know like thetaste of shoe leather yeah, yeah
, right, yeah.
Food.
Food in the food in the booty.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Well, yeah, you never know what's going to happen.
No, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
I mean, I hope it works out for them, but the way
it's looking from here itdoesn't look like it's going to.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Why do you say that?
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Oh, man, Because of are we still recording, are we?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Oh, I thought um.
We still recording, are we?
Yeah, oh, I thought, okay, okay, we'll stop.
I gotta get a drink anyway.
I'm done.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
I didn't know.
We're still recording.
Go hey oh yeah, it's possible.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
We shouldn't you know , maybe no one will thank us for
speaking.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Thank you I haven't explored it in so much Get out
of there.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
My head exploded.
My eyes are fucking out.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
I haven't experienced this much pleasure.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
The gubernatorial race, the gubernatorial, the
gubernator, and we're back.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Get out of there Blah , blah, blah no.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
But anyway, yeah Well , we're back, let me see, here
we're back.
Three, two.
Yeah Well, let me see, herewe're back.
Three, two, one.
Well guys, what did you thinkabout that deal there?
Personally, I thought that wasa good interview.
I enjoyed that.
I give them a good shot.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
I enjoyed listening to them Just wishing the best of
luck and and hope they realizewhat they're getting into
Lifelong time of commitment,loyalty, love, unconditional
love responsibility.
And communication.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Definitely communication and complete
submission to one's wife.
Wow.
I mean they're committed tocommunication and to
conversation and to faith, and Ithink those things are, yeah,
that's some powerful stuffreally.
That's if you have access tothe inner workings of your loved
one and the inner workings, butif you know their mind and
(17:42):
feelings, I mean that's.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Some people don't even have that.
When they talked about thefaith, sharing the same faith,
being equally yoked, that's whatI liked, because a couple can
be off in some places and ifyou're equally yoked, god has a
way of straightening things out.
You know that's called to melike the X factor.
Okay, I wouldn't use that name.
(18:05):
But I mean, if you have God andyou're equally yoked, he just
has a way of smoothing thingsout.
That's my opinion for sure.
I know everybody doesn't sharethat same opinion.
That's okay, but that'sdefinitely mine.
I know it's Dan and Sabrina's.
What do you guys?
Speaker 3 (18:24):
think about that.
Yeah, that's the way I wasraised.
I remember hearing mom givingrelationship advice as a child
to people in the church and shewould say well, you know what
the one scripture says you needto be equally yoked.
You're starting a relationshipwith an unbeliever, with an
atheist or agnostic, and you'rea believer.
You believe in Jesus Christ.
I'd be careful about that.
(18:45):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Yeah and that's no.
You're exactly right.
I thought that was the one.
Two big things from thattakeaways was that, and the
other one is I feel that theyreally try to communicate.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Yes, yeah, as long as the softer spoken partner makes
sure their voice is alwaysstill heard.
I think they've got a decentshake at it, as just about
anybody, right?
Exactly, I think they've got adecent shake at it as just about
anybody.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Right, exactly, and that's a good point, because
sometimes people can talk, theycan communicate, but one of
those people might not begetting it all out being heard.
So if they both have that equalsay, that's the most important.
Are you getting equal say, say,because you can communicate, we
(19:33):
can all communicate, but areyou equally getting that equal
say what you need to say andworking through?
That Is all the data collected.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Yeah, are you allowing your partner to be
heard, or are they allowing youto be heard as well?
Right, that's huge.
Yeah, that's huge Right.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Otherwise you have a petty dictator and a subject.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Otherwise.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Right.
So, yeah, that's what you don'twant.
But yeah, so, dan, sabrina,nice job.
Thank you.
Now we're going to go.
Yeah, good luck.
Oh, absolutely, that'sdefinitely good luck.
Absolutely Good luck.
Oh, absolutely, that'sdefinitely good luck.
Absolutely.
And we appreciate them comingon the show.
For sure, absolutely.
And I got a little couplequestions.
(20:15):
I asked my folks, my mom anddad.
They've been married for 65years.
That's awesome.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Yeah, your parents are so cool, I got to say oh,
thank you, they are cool.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah, I'm definitely blessed with those two and yeah,
they know both you guys andthey always have good words for
you guys.
And yeah, they are.
And what I notice about them isthey just have had such the
commitment of marriage and well,equally believers too, equally
yoked.
And well, equally believers too, equally yoked.
(20:51):
Every morning they wake upabout well, around 6 or so 536.
They're always watchingShepherd's Chapel together.
That's a good bit of Christianfaith in the morning.
They share and they still actlike they're teenagers.
You know they really do, andthat's nice to see.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Yes, it is, it's nice to see they keep their sense of
playfulness.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Yes, yes, definitely.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
That's nice.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, it is.
It is so basically, okay, we'regoing to listen to them real
quick, then we're going to comeback.
So that was great, wasn't it?
Yes, yes, it was.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Sorry, what's that crap on there?
The vest, if you can just checkthat out.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't think it's going tocrash the program.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
It's not doing that.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
No, there we go yeah, okay that I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
No, I wish I would have done that, there we go.
Yeah, that's annoying as heck.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Oh, coming down to three, two, one.
Well, that was.
Did you enjoy that?
I just asked them a fewquestions just to get their take
on it.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
That does make a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
You know we wanted to do a show with just positive
things in it for once.
You know, just, you know what'sit going to take.
Basically, you know, and Ithink when I think of myself,
you know what comes, what risesto the very, very top in a
relationship.
And you know, I've been inquite a few.
But I'm going to say that youknow, we don't keep trying.
We always keep trying, yes, butI would like to turn that
trying into just a commitment totrying and staying almost.
You know a person, there'salways going to be bad parts of
a relationship, always going tohave that, you know, as long as
(22:39):
those parts are not abusive inany way mentally, physically,
you know, as long as the otherperson is trying, as long as the
other person knows who they areand knows what they need to
work on, you know, then you canhave a great relationship.
But yeah, I guess for me, whatmy folks taught me was stay in
(23:02):
it, commitment.
And if you're going to do it,you know, yeah, the journey, the
journey, yeah.
And if you're going to do it,you know yeah, the journey, the
journey, yeah, because the moreyou know somebody, the more
(23:23):
experiences you have with them,the more times you go down that
slippy slide together, the moreyou fall in love.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yes, slippy slide, yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Slippy slide Lawn banana.
Well, it's a water park deal,but slippy slide.
So any parting comments fromyou guys.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
Great show.
I enjoyed the interviews.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Yeah, I enjoyed the interviews.
Yeah, thanks to all theinterviewees.
Thanks for your help.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, thanks folks, mom and Dad, thanks Mom and Dad,
and thanks Dad and Sabrina.
So heck, yeah.
Well, we're going to call thisa show and I'm going to bid
adieu for Greg and Josh andmyself.
I say thank you, listener,you're number one to us, then
you take care.
(24:06):
We'll talk to you next time.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
All right, you're going to bid, I do, I do,
alright that was good, that'sgood that's gonna be good and we
didn't bash.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Sabrina which was cool.
My big concern was one of us,myself included, might have a.
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