April 16, 2025 • 22 mins
We'd Love to Hear your Feedback!
Have you ever caught yourself publicly cheering for another woman while privately wondering, "When will it be my turn?" That tension between performance and authenticity is exactly what Coach Tocha Moore unpacks in this honest conversation about what it truly means to be a "girl's girl" in today's social media-driven world.
Beyond the trending hashtags and inspirational reposts lies a deeper question we must ask ourselves: Are we genuinely celebrating other women's successes, or are we just going through the motions while harboring silent competition? With refreshing transparency, Coach Tocha admits her own journey from comparison to true celebration, revealing how a scarcity mindset can poison even our most well-intentioned support of other women.
The breakthrough comes with a powerful realization: purpose is not a pie with limited slices to distribute. Your unique calling and blessing are secure and cannot be stolen or diminished by someone else's success. This fundamental shift transforms how we show up for the women in our lives – moving from performative support to authentic celebration rooted in abundance rather than fear.
Coach Tocha offers three practical strategies for becoming a true "girl's girl": blessing women both privately and publicly, checking your motives before engaging, and celebrating without qualification. These simple but profound practices create a foundation for genuine sisterhood that transcends surface-level support.
Ready to transform how you support the women in your life? Text a woman today and tell her something specific you admire about her. Your journey to becoming a real champion of other women starts with this episode – because when we truly understand that another woman's light doesn't dim our own, we create limitless possibilities for all of us to shine together.
Thank you for joining us on this journey to empowerment. Remember, you are worth fighting for H.E.R.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hey y'all, what's up?
Squad, it's your girl, yourcoach, Coach Tasha Moore.
I hope that you are alreadyhaving a wonderful, wonderful,
intentional, purpose-filledstart to your week.
How are we doing with our goals?
Did we reach what we said wewere going to reach?
If we did, we're going to loveon ourselves a little bit.
We will give yourself a hug andif you're different, it's okay,
(00:31):
girlfriend, we're still goingto clap it up.
We're going to clap it up andif not, we're going to let it go
Start again.
It's a new week ahead.
My hair is still a littlesunwalking, but I hope that you
(00:54):
are already doing, settingintentions, doing all the things
that you say you were going todo on this wonderful week.
I keep saying and I'm trying tostop y'all, so work with me,
okay, hope that you guys arealready doing amazing.
This episode will release theweek of Easter.
It's always a wonderful, crazyall of the thin time in my
household.
If you're anything like me, youjust start.
I know for me, I just startthinking about the weight of
(01:18):
what the day means, and so I'musually an emotional, blubbering
mess this time of year.
Because, um, I love Eastern,what it means and what it stands
for for me, cause I'm a girlover here, okay, um.
So, with that being said, we'regoing to get into the nitty
gritty.
I'm trying.
(01:38):
Hey, scott, welcome back totoday's episode of the squad
podcast.
It is your girl, your coach,coach Tasha Moore.
We're here, we share storiesand we encourage ourselves to be
the best version of ourselvesevery single day.
How's your week going so far?
Hope, it is amazing that you'redoing all the things that you
wanted.
How are we going with goalsetting?
(01:59):
Did we reach what we said we'regoing to reach?
No, yes, we did.
Okay, we're going to reach.
No, yes, we did.
Okay, we're going to hug it up.
Hug it up?
No, we did not.
That's okay.
We're going to clap it down,clap it up.
However, you want to do it andsay that tomorrow's a new day
for us to reset and start again.
Start again, sis, Do you hearme?
Don't let one off day, week,month, whatever it's been, stop
(02:21):
you from reaching what you saidyou're going to do.
I believe in you.
I believe that you can do it.
Let's get it, let's go Y'all.
Today is going to be a short,sweet, straight to the point
type of podcast, right?
I love being able to connectwith y'all in a way that says
you know what?
(02:41):
Let's just be honest aboutwhere we are, and so on.
Today I wanted to talk about Ilove that.
I say I'm a girl's girl.
You know, cheering, championingfor women, all the things, and
it makes me think where I am nowwas that where I always was?
(03:01):
And the truth is no, it's not.
We're talking about somethingthat's trending on social or
whatever, if you're following it, and it's the girl's girl era,
like you know, I like to thinkI'm a girl's girl.
Um, I mean, you've seen thepost.
Support women, be a girl's girl, support your sisters.
Help her fix her crown beforeyou fix your own.
Yeah, what is my hair doing?
(03:22):
Um, and so it's cute, it'scatchy.
But I want to talk about.
I've got a question are youreally rooting for her?
Or are we just reposting whatlooks good and what sounds good,
what's catchy and what'strending and what everyone is
doing?
Because the truth is, if that'swhat we're doing, then we're
(03:46):
missing it, we're missing themark, we're missing it up.
So let's start with what is agirl's girl right?
What does it mean to be agirl's girl?
I know I say that, like I'm agirl's girl.
People be like oh my gosh,that's what it is.
The idea is that you're a womanthat supports other women and
that you're a woman thatsupports other women and it
sounds great.
It's catchy catchphrase.
Everyone's doing it, it'strending.
(04:08):
You know you're the one thatchampion.
You know you're the hype woman.
You're the one that is clappingfrom the sidelines and fixing
the crowns of all the people andcheering because she's one
Sounds great, right?
We all think we're doing thatas women.
I will raise my hand and say Ithought that I was, but here's
the thing it's easy to supportsomeone when you're not
(04:30):
triggered by her success.
When is it going to be my turn?
When is it going to happen forme?
Has anyone ever said that?
Have you ever said that?
Can we just go ahead on and gothere today?
Because we say it and as longas someone else's success is not
(04:50):
triggering us, we're good Y'all.
I can raise my hand and say I'vebeen in both places where I
truly thought I was championing,cheering and doing the things,
but then sometimes I would lookand see things and be like, well
, when is it going to be my turn?
So you know I'm happy for herand or, but, or whatever it's
(05:13):
been, I've been the woman whocringe not really cringe, but
when it was like I've beenworking so hard, I've been doing
things and how come I'm notthere yet?
I'm being honest, truthful andtransparent, because that's what
we do over here on the squadpodcast, all right, and I smiled
, but the truth is, in my quietmoments with myself I was like,
(05:37):
yes, sis, out loud, but then inprivate I'd be like when is it
going to be my turn?
When is it going to be Tasha'sturn?
Right.
And so sometimes that can leadus to being in a space and place
of where we are having thesesilent competitions with other
(05:59):
women.
Yeah, we're going to talk aboutit today.
We're going to call it out.
Y'all know, some of us aredoing it.
We're rooting and we're goingto talk about it today.
We're going to call it out.
Y'all know, some of us aredoing it.
We're rooting and we'recompeting.
We've convinced ourselves insome way that if she's shining,
then that means there's lesslight or less room for me.
Not the truth, do you hear me?
It's not the truth.
We've convinced ourselves right, and so I want to remind you
(06:24):
today that purpose y'all.
I was a purpose coach for a longtime.
Purpose is not a pie.
We don't have to cut off slices.
Do y'all hear me?
There's enough for all of us.
Your assignment, my assignment,my purpose, your purpose, the
thing that you are meant to doin this earth is yours and yours
(06:46):
alone, and it doesn't matterhow many people are doing
something similar.
There's only one, you right.
There's only one, me.
And so the mindset of comparingcompeting, low-key hated is
rooted in fear, like I'm nevergoing to make it.
It's not going to happen for me.
I'm not good enough, I'm notqualified.
I'm going to raise my hand andsay that was me.
(07:08):
I would walk into rooms andfeel intimidated by other women
because I felt unqualified.
It had nothing to do with them,it was all a myth and it was
rooted in fear that I wasn'tgood enough to be in the room
with them.
Do y'all hear me?
On today, it was rooted in fear,right?
Fear is your blessing is not onthe schedule.
Fear will have you thinkingthat your blessing will never
(07:33):
happen.
But I want to encourage you ontoday that the truth is your
blessing doesn't have a date onit.
And because you fear thatyou're not enough for all the
things, right.
The truth is, the God that Iserve is not a scarcity type of
God.
Hello, church and amen Y'all.
He's abundant, his blessingsoverflow.
They're for me, they're for you, they're for all of us.
(07:55):
And so, where our mind wouldwant to tell us that we're in
competition with each other, Iwould want today for us to start
realizing that we're incompetition with each other.
I would want today for us tostart realizing that we should
be collaborating with oneanother.
There is no competition.
Our God is an abundant God.
He has enough for us all.
He gave us something specificto do.
Yours is yours, mine is mine.
(08:16):
And that doesn't mean we can'twork together and we should
surely be cheering for oneanother.
Do y'all hear me Right?
And when we think like that, werealize and we understand that
you can cheer for other womenbecause your turn is secure.
(08:37):
Hello, did y'all hear that youcan cheer for other women
because your turn is secure?
You don't have to worry abouther taking it because you can't,
it's yours.
Okay.
And so then it leads me to thenext part that I wanted to talk
about.
Like, how do we, how are wereal in an era that has us
(09:04):
feeling like we can't be real.
I'll say it like that.
And so what does it look liketo be a girl's girl now, in the
era that we're living in?
So I want to give you somethree little things that I think
are then, um one, bless her inprivate and in public.
(09:25):
Y'all.
Don't be that person that sendsthem a little message knowing
that you know them or you seesomething on social, and then
you're like, oh, you saysomething to bless her in
private and public.
If you so feel inclined to doright, hype her up Even when
she's not in the room, not justwhen you're in front of her face
.
(09:48):
Like, oh, my goodness, I walkinto rooms and my one friend and
she knows I say her name inevery room I walk in if their
opportunity presents it, and Ifeel like she absolutely
positively does the same for me.
Like, oh, you need to meet myfriend.
Oh, you need to meet myhomegirl.
Oh, you need to meet my friend.
Oh, you need to meet myhomegirl.
(10:09):
Oh, you need to meet thisperson.
And I genuinely am giving namesin rooms.
It doesn't have to benefit mein any way shape, form or
fashion, but I am truly like,hey, you need to connect with
this person.
She's amazing and I absolutelythink that she can help you
Right?
So that's the first thing Blessher in private and public.
Second thing check your motivesbefore you comment.
Are you encouraging or justwanting to be seen as
(10:32):
encouraging?
Are you truly encouraging thatperson to win or do you just
want to be seen as encouraging?
Because, let me tell yousomething there's so many
conversations that I have withpeople that people would never
even know about and I will neverspeak on it to encourage
another person to go after it.
I don't care who knows, I don'tcare who sees, I don't care
about a poster, any of that, butI really want the women that
(10:55):
God leads into my life to win,and so I'm encouraging them in
ways that I'm just like wow,like I really do want her to win
.
Are you doing that?
Are you doing it to do it or tobe seen doing it?
All right.
And then the third thing isy'all celebrate her, listen,
(11:19):
y'all.
You can celebrate other women,because the my oil only
overflows in my lane.
I don't try to go into otherpeople's lane because it's not
mine.
There's been so many timeswhere I've been asked to
collaborate on things and I'mlike that's not really my lane,
(11:40):
but I know someone whose it is,and that doesn't stop me from
trying and expanding and doingnew things by any means.
And I know my lane.
My lane is empowering andencouraging women to see things
in themselves that they did notsee before.
That's my lane and I'm aware ofit and I'm good with it.
(12:02):
Not as in oh, she's good, no,I'm okay with that.
It truly fills my tank.
I don't have to cross over intoanother lane until God tells me
to my flow in my lane.
Your flow in your lane doesn'tmean you can't collaborate with
other people in their lane andbring value and add things to
(12:23):
them.
That's the purpose of it all.
And so Romans 12 and 15 saysrejoice for those who rejoice.
It doesn't say pretend.
It says rejoice deep down, fromthe depths of who you are Now.
That is sisterhood, that's agirl's girl, that's kingdom
(12:44):
building right there, whereyou're not just saying it
because you truly are rejoicing,because you are like yes, girl,
yes, are you with me today.
So I'll ask you again are youreally truly rooting for her?
And yes, this is a short, sweetepisode.
I told y'all it was going to beright, because a girl's girl
(13:06):
can be a thing, y'all.
It's more than a vibe, it's avalue.
Do you hear me?
It's a value, and I believethat when we truly support each
other with clean hearts and aclean, clear mind, something so
(13:30):
beautiful will happen.
In this world, where women don'tsay things like I hear all the
time, I don't do women, I saidit, I don't have friends.
Women are catty, they can'twork together, y'all.
I can't tell you the amount oftimes that I hear things like
this.
Tell you the amount of timesthat I hear things like this.
(13:54):
There'd be no limit to what Godcan do through us connecting
with each other.
I was just sharing with someonethe other day about teaching my
children that it is not a youversus them, but an us right, a
me versus you.
It's a us versus whatever we'refacing.
(14:19):
So if I can lock arms and notbe intimidated or feel
inadequate or anything withother women, how much greater is
our reach?
And I don't care if you have apodcast, an office, driving your
children to school, whateveryou're doing, how are you
(14:40):
champing around the women inyour life, how are you showing
up for them in a way that says Isee you and I'm encouraging you
to go after whatever it is thatyou're supposed to be doing,
and so, all right, y'all, y'allstarted getting teared out.
This hit home for me.
It really made me think, like,am I really and truly
(15:02):
encouraging women in a waythat's not for show or any of
those things?
And this spurred from aconversation that I've been
having actually a couple ofweeks now, I think I've been
having with people in differentsettings, kind of along the same
lines, like when we can't worktogether, yes, we can, unless
this bell that lie that theenemy is trying to make us
(15:23):
believe.
And so I want to encourage youon this week or whenever you
catch this podcast, text a womanin your life right now and tell
her something that you admireabout her.
I got a I don't know if y'allstill use Marco Polo, but I do
Some of my friends and I stilldo and Marco Polo, I got a
(15:45):
message and I stopped it beforeI even finished listening with
tears in my eyes, and Marcopulled back like oh, my goodness
, way to make me cry early inthe morning.
It was just a sweet message,like I won't say all the things
that were said, but it trulytouched my heart, and so text
(16:07):
somebody, call somebody, letsomebody know something that you
admire about them.
Right, I'm posted on social.
Whatever you want to do,whatever I'm here, do something
and y'all and share this episodewith somebody who needs that
reminder.
We don't have to be out herelike we can't work together.
(16:29):
We don't have to be out hereupset and always looking at
other women like when is my timeis coming, when is my time
coming?
Because your time is coming.
It doesn't have an expirationdate on what will be done
through you, in you and becauseof you.
All right, do y'all hear me ontoday?
(16:49):
All right, I'm going to get myum, I'm going to do the rapid
fire questions.
Honestly, I don't even know ifI have any rapid fire questions
today.
Let me go see.
I don't think I do.
And, um, honestly, I'm okay ifI don't, because I think this
episode really and truly speaksto us as to where we are and
(17:11):
what we're doing and how weshould be treating each other,
cause it makes me.
It truly hurts my heart when Ihear women say things that I
used to say to myself I don'thave friends, I don't need
friends, I don't want friends,and that's just not true.
(17:52):
I allowed myself to see thatanother woman's light doesn't
dim mine in any way and, viceversa, that I can clap for her
and cheer for her and know thatone day, whenever, if ever, I
(18:14):
don't have to wonder when mytime is coming because it will,
um, and I'm thankful because Iknow that it will happen.
All right, I do have rapid firequestions for this.
Give me uh, uh.
I'm not gonna read all thisgreat um.
What's one compliment you'vegiven another woman this week?
(18:35):
I told a lady today I believethat it was that everything that
she was doing she was qualifiedto do because she was
dismissing herself.
And I'm like no, you're doesn'tmatter what you think the fact
that you've been given anassignment Because you know we
got girls over here and you haveto do it, because somebody
(18:57):
needs you to do it, and so Igave it a compliment of like
you're qualified to do it, cutit out.
Who's a woman you secretlyadmire but haven't told yet
Y'all?
I don't know.
Okay, I'm going to say somebodyfamous and mine would be.
A woman that I truly, trulyadmire is Priscilla Shrier.
(19:22):
That's just the truth, and Ihaven't told her because I
haven't met her yet.
And women in my life, god hasjust allowed me to come to a
space and being so intentionalwith telling them, like, if I
see somebody in the grocerystore and I love her haircut,
I'd be like, oh my goodness.
I actually gave a lady acompliment the other day in the
store and I loved the shirt thatshe had on Actually, it was her
(19:43):
one at the gas station.
I told her I loved her hair.
And then another lady it was ashirt.
I told her I loved her hair.
And then another lady it was ashirt, and I was like, ooh, I
love that shirt, it's reallypretty on you.
And so I went through a phasewhere God just had me telling
people like, tell her.
And I would be like that'scrazy.
I'm not about to tell this ladythat, but I did.
I started just giving womencompliments because I realized
we as women will say it in ourhead Like, ooh, I like her purse
(20:05):
.
Or celebrate silently oh, I'mcheering from the front row,
front and center, woo-woo, handsraised, if I can have a cowbell
.
Or I'm in there, I'm in thebuilding with it all.
What's one red flag in afriendship?
You no longer ignore?
(20:26):
Consistency and consistency.
I would say that I no longerignore that or reciprocity Is
that what it is?
Reciprocation I'll say thatReciprocation when, and not that
(20:46):
it's a tip for a tap.
But if I'm taking time to callyou, I would like for you
sometimes to take time to callme like that, not just, oh, I
did this and you didn't, butjust making sure that I'm making
an effort to show up for you ina way that you need me to.
Whatever that looks like, Iwould like for the same thing to
(21:06):
happen this way as well, and soI pay attention to that,
because I found myself runningand chasing people all the time
and I don't have the time or thecapacity to do that anymore.
Now I'm not saying I'm notgoing to run after my friends.
Hear me when I say, clearly Iwas doing it in a wrong,
unhealthy way.
Okay, and so now I look at itin a healthy perspective to say
(21:30):
and I also have conversationswith people to say, hey, I feel
like this.
Let me know if my feelings are.
If you feel the same, they'renot relevant.
Help me walk through what I'mfeeling and what's a way I
(21:54):
protect my peace.
When comparison creeps in theword, I will sit and pray and
say, no, catch it, check it,change it is what I say, like
that's a thought.
Where did it come from?
What has you feeling that way,checking what's going on in my
day, my week, my whatever, andthen changing it to like, okay,
that that's not true.
Or maybe I feel like it's true.
What conversation do I need tohave?
Do I need to have Yo?
(22:16):
On this wonderful day?
And at the end of this podcast,I want y'all to ask yourself am
I really clapping, or am I doingit from a perspective of I'm
clapping for her only because Iknow my time is next?
I have no idea what.
Whatever it is you're trying toaccomplish, you know that my
time is next.
What is every day that I it isyou're trying to accomplish?
(22:36):
You know that my time is next.
What is every day that I wakeup is time added to my life, and
so I get to choose in thosemoments, and every day for me is
a win.
Every day that I wake up and Iget to spend with my husband and
my children and my family andmy friends and you all, that's a
win.
So my time is now.
That's what I tell myself.
(22:58):
Oh, when, my time, my time isnow Every day my time.
Oh well, girl, when you getthere, I'm already there.
I woke up this morning.
I'm there.
Hello, are y'all with me?
Every day that I wake up is awinning day for me.
I hope it's the same for you.
Y'all, get out there, move,groove, shake and bake.
Walk in.
Your purpose.
Your purpose connects tosomeone else.
They cannot walk in theirsuntil you are walking in yours.
(23:19):
We are combat ready.
Y'all.
See, I got my camo on today.
We are always fighting for thebest version of ourselves.
Y'all, I will catch y'all nextweek.
Have an amazing rest of yourweek, reach your goals.
I believe that you will.
I know that you will.
I know that you can.
I am truly clapping for youbecause I am a girl's girl and I
(23:41):
want you all to win.
Y'all.
I will see y'all later.
Bye.
Hey y'all, what's up?
Squad, it's your girl, yourcoach, Coach Tasha Moore.
I hope that you are alreadyhaving a wonderful, wonderful,
intentional, purpose-filledstart to your week.
How are we doing with our goals?
Did we reach what we said wewere going to reach?
If we did, we're going to loveon ourselves a little bit.
We will give yourself a hug andif you're different, it's okay,
(00:31):
girlfriend, we're still goingto clap it up.
We're going to clap it up andif not, we're going to let it go
Start again.
It's a new week ahead.
My hair is still a littlesunwalking, but I hope that you
(00:54):
are already doing, settingintentions, doing all the things
that you say you were going todo on this wonderful week.
I keep saying and I'm trying tostop y'all, so work with me,
okay, hope that you guys arealready doing amazing.
This episode will release theweek of Easter.
It's always a wonderful, crazyall of the thin time in my
household.
If you're anything like me, youjust start.
I know for me, I just startthinking about the weight of
(01:18):
what the day means, and so I'musually an emotional, blubbering
mess this time of year.
Because, um, I love Eastern,what it means and what it stands
for for me, cause I'm a girlover here, okay, um.
So, with that being said, we'regoing to get into the nitty
gritty.
I'm trying.
(01:38):
Hey, scott, welcome back totoday's episode of the squad
podcast.
It is your girl, your coach,coach Tasha Moore.
We're here, we share storiesand we encourage ourselves to be
the best version of ourselvesevery single day.
How's your week going so far?
Hope, it is amazing that you'redoing all the things that you
wanted.
How are we going with goalsetting?
(01:59):
Did we reach what we said we'regoing to reach?
No, yes, we did.
Okay, we're going to reach.
No, yes, we did.
Okay, we're going to hug it up.
Hug it up?
No, we did not.
That's okay.
We're going to clap it down,clap it up.
However, you want to do it andsay that tomorrow's a new day
for us to reset and start again.
Start again, sis, Do you hearme?
Don't let one off day, week,month, whatever it's been, stop
(02:21):
you from reaching what you saidyou're going to do.
I believe in you.
I believe that you can do it.
Let's get it, let's go Y'all.
Today is going to be a short,sweet, straight to the point
type of podcast, right?
I love being able to connectwith y'all in a way that says
you know what?
(02:41):
Let's just be honest aboutwhere we are, and so on.
Today I wanted to talk about Ilove that.
I say I'm a girl's girl.
You know, cheering, championingfor women, all the things, and
it makes me think where I am nowwas that where I always was?
(03:01):
And the truth is no, it's not.
We're talking about somethingthat's trending on social or
whatever, if you're following it, and it's the girl's girl era,
like you know, I like to thinkI'm a girl's girl.
Um, I mean, you've seen thepost.
Support women, be a girl's girl, support your sisters.
Help her fix her crown beforeyou fix your own.
Yeah, what is my hair doing?
(03:22):
Um, and so it's cute, it'scatchy.
But I want to talk about.
I've got a question are youreally rooting for her?
Or are we just reposting whatlooks good and what sounds good,
what's catchy and what'strending and what everyone is
doing?
Because the truth is, if that'swhat we're doing, then we're
(03:46):
missing it, we're missing themark, we're missing it up.
So let's start with what is agirl's girl right?
What does it mean to be agirl's girl?
I know I say that, like I'm agirl's girl.
People be like oh my gosh,that's what it is.
The idea is that you're a womanthat supports other women and
that you're a woman thatsupports other women and it
sounds great.
It's catchy catchphrase.
Everyone's doing it, it'strending.
(04:08):
You know you're the one thatchampion.
You know you're the hype woman.
You're the one that is clappingfrom the sidelines and fixing
the crowns of all the people andcheering because she's one
Sounds great, right?
We all think we're doing thatas women.
I will raise my hand and say Ithought that I was, but here's
the thing it's easy to supportsomeone when you're not
(04:30):
triggered by her success.
When is it going to be my turn?
When is it going to happen forme?
Has anyone ever said that?
Have you ever said that?
Can we just go ahead on and gothere today?
Because we say it and as longas someone else's success is not
(04:50):
triggering us, we're good Y'all.
I can raise my hand and say I'vebeen in both places where I
truly thought I was championing,cheering and doing the things,
but then sometimes I would lookand see things and be like, well
, when is it going to be my turn?
So you know I'm happy for herand or, but, or whatever it's
(05:13):
been, I've been the woman whocringe not really cringe, but
when it was like I've beenworking so hard, I've been doing
things and how come I'm notthere yet?
I'm being honest, truthful andtransparent, because that's what
we do over here on the squadpodcast, all right, and I smiled
, but the truth is, in my quietmoments with myself I was like,
(05:37):
yes, sis, out loud, but then inprivate I'd be like when is it
going to be my turn?
When is it going to be Tasha'sturn?
Right.
And so sometimes that can leadus to being in a space and place
of where we are having thesesilent competitions with other
(05:59):
women.
Yeah, we're going to talk aboutit today.
We're going to call it out.
Y'all know, some of us aredoing it.
We're rooting and we're goingto talk about it today.
We're going to call it out.
Y'all know, some of us aredoing it.
We're rooting and we'recompeting.
We've convinced ourselves insome way that if she's shining,
then that means there's lesslight or less room for me.
Not the truth, do you hear me?
It's not the truth.
We've convinced ourselves right, and so I want to remind you
(06:24):
today that purpose y'all.
I was a purpose coach for a longtime.
Purpose is not a pie.
We don't have to cut off slices.
Do y'all hear me?
There's enough for all of us.
Your assignment, my assignment,my purpose, your purpose, the
thing that you are meant to doin this earth is yours and yours
(06:46):
alone, and it doesn't matterhow many people are doing
something similar.
There's only one, you right.
There's only one, me.
And so the mindset of comparingcompeting, low-key hated is
rooted in fear, like I'm nevergoing to make it.
It's not going to happen for me.
I'm not good enough, I'm notqualified.
I'm going to raise my hand andsay that was me.
(07:08):
I would walk into rooms andfeel intimidated by other women
because I felt unqualified.
It had nothing to do with them,it was all a myth and it was
rooted in fear that I wasn'tgood enough to be in the room
with them.
Do y'all hear me?
On today, it was rooted in fear,right?
Fear is your blessing is not onthe schedule.
Fear will have you thinkingthat your blessing will never
(07:33):
happen.
But I want to encourage you ontoday that the truth is your
blessing doesn't have a date onit.
And because you fear thatyou're not enough for all the
things, right.
The truth is, the God that Iserve is not a scarcity type of
God.
Hello, church and amen Y'all.
He's abundant, his blessingsoverflow.
They're for me, they're for you, they're for all of us.
(07:55):
And so, where our mind wouldwant to tell us that we're in
competition with each other, Iwould want today for us to start
realizing that we're incompetition with each other.
I would want today for us tostart realizing that we should
be collaborating with oneanother.
There is no competition.
Our God is an abundant God.
He has enough for us all.
He gave us something specificto do.
Yours is yours, mine is mine.
(08:16):
And that doesn't mean we can'twork together and we should
surely be cheering for oneanother.
Do y'all hear me Right?
And when we think like that, werealize and we understand that
you can cheer for other womenbecause your turn is secure.
(08:37):
Hello, did y'all hear that youcan cheer for other women
because your turn is secure?
You don't have to worry abouther taking it because you can't,
it's yours.
Okay.
And so then it leads me to thenext part that I wanted to talk
about.
Like, how do we, how are wereal in an era that has us
(09:04):
feeling like we can't be real.
I'll say it like that.
And so what does it look liketo be a girl's girl now, in the
era that we're living in?
So I want to give you somethree little things that I think
are then, um one, bless her inprivate and in public.
(09:25):
Y'all.
Don't be that person that sendsthem a little message knowing
that you know them or you seesomething on social, and then
you're like, oh, you saysomething to bless her in
private and public.
If you so feel inclined to doright, hype her up Even when
she's not in the room, not justwhen you're in front of her face
.
(09:48):
Like, oh, my goodness, I walkinto rooms and my one friend and
she knows I say her name inevery room I walk in if their
opportunity presents it, and Ifeel like she absolutely
positively does the same for me.
Like, oh, you need to meet myfriend.
Oh, you need to meet myhomegirl.
Oh, you need to meet my friend.
Oh, you need to meet myhomegirl.
(10:09):
Oh, you need to meet thisperson.
And I genuinely am giving namesin rooms.
It doesn't have to benefit mein any way shape, form or
fashion, but I am truly like,hey, you need to connect with
this person.
She's amazing and I absolutelythink that she can help you
Right?
So that's the first thing Blessher in private and public.
Second thing check your motivesbefore you comment.
Are you encouraging or justwanting to be seen as
(10:32):
encouraging?
Are you truly encouraging thatperson to win or do you just
want to be seen as encouraging?
Because, let me tell yousomething there's so many
conversations that I have withpeople that people would never
even know about and I will neverspeak on it to encourage
another person to go after it.
I don't care who knows, I don'tcare who sees, I don't care
about a poster, any of that, butI really want the women that
(10:55):
God leads into my life to win,and so I'm encouraging them in
ways that I'm just like wow,like I really do want her to win
.
Are you doing that?
Are you doing it to do it or tobe seen doing it?
All right.
And then the third thing isy'all celebrate her, listen,
(11:19):
y'all.
You can celebrate other women,because the my oil only
overflows in my lane.
I don't try to go into otherpeople's lane because it's not
mine.
There's been so many timeswhere I've been asked to
collaborate on things and I'mlike that's not really my lane,
(11:40):
but I know someone whose it is,and that doesn't stop me from
trying and expanding and doingnew things by any means.
And I know my lane.
My lane is empowering andencouraging women to see things
in themselves that they did notsee before.
That's my lane and I'm aware ofit and I'm good with it.
(12:02):
Not as in oh, she's good, no,I'm okay with that.
It truly fills my tank.
I don't have to cross over intoanother lane until God tells me
to my flow in my lane.
Your flow in your lane doesn'tmean you can't collaborate with
other people in their lane andbring value and add things to
(12:23):
them.
That's the purpose of it all.
And so Romans 12 and 15 saysrejoice for those who rejoice.
It doesn't say pretend.
It says rejoice deep down, fromthe depths of who you are Now.
That is sisterhood, that's agirl's girl, that's kingdom
(12:44):
building right there, whereyou're not just saying it
because you truly are rejoicing,because you are like yes, girl,
yes, are you with me today.
So I'll ask you again are youreally truly rooting for her?
And yes, this is a short, sweetepisode.
I told y'all it was going to beright, because a girl's girl
(13:06):
can be a thing, y'all.
It's more than a vibe, it's avalue.
Do you hear me?
It's a value, and I believethat when we truly support each
other with clean hearts and aclean, clear mind, something so
(13:30):
beautiful will happen.
In this world, where women don'tsay things like I hear all the
time, I don't do women, I saidit, I don't have friends.
Women are catty, they can'twork together, y'all.
I can't tell you the amount oftimes that I hear things like
this.
Tell you the amount of timesthat I hear things like this.
(13:54):
There'd be no limit to what Godcan do through us connecting
with each other.
I was just sharing with someonethe other day about teaching my
children that it is not a youversus them, but an us right, a
me versus you.
It's a us versus whatever we'refacing.
(14:19):
So if I can lock arms and notbe intimidated or feel
inadequate or anything withother women, how much greater is
our reach?
And I don't care if you have apodcast, an office, driving your
children to school, whateveryou're doing, how are you
(14:40):
champing around the women inyour life, how are you showing
up for them in a way that says Isee you and I'm encouraging you
to go after whatever it is thatyou're supposed to be doing,
and so, all right, y'all, y'allstarted getting teared out.
This hit home for me.
It really made me think, like,am I really and truly
(15:02):
encouraging women in a waythat's not for show or any of
those things?
And this spurred from aconversation that I've been
having actually a couple ofweeks now, I think I've been
having with people in differentsettings, kind of along the same
lines, like when we can't worktogether, yes, we can, unless
this bell that lie that theenemy is trying to make us
(15:23):
believe.
And so I want to encourage youon this week or whenever you
catch this podcast, text a womanin your life right now and tell
her something that you admireabout her.
I got a I don't know if y'allstill use Marco Polo, but I do
Some of my friends and I stilldo and Marco Polo, I got a
(15:45):
message and I stopped it beforeI even finished listening with
tears in my eyes, and Marcopulled back like oh, my goodness
, way to make me cry early inthe morning.
It was just a sweet message,like I won't say all the things
that were said, but it trulytouched my heart, and so text
(16:07):
somebody, call somebody, letsomebody know something that you
admire about them.
Right, I'm posted on social.
Whatever you want to do,whatever I'm here, do something
and y'all and share this episodewith somebody who needs that
reminder.
We don't have to be out herelike we can't work together.
(16:29):
We don't have to be out hereupset and always looking at
other women like when is my timeis coming, when is my time
coming?
Because your time is coming.
It doesn't have an expirationdate on what will be done
through you, in you and becauseof you.
All right, do y'all hear me ontoday?
(16:49):
All right, I'm going to get myum, I'm going to do the rapid
fire questions.
Honestly, I don't even know ifI have any rapid fire questions
today.
Let me go see.
I don't think I do.
And, um, honestly, I'm okay ifI don't, because I think this
episode really and truly speaksto us as to where we are and
(17:11):
what we're doing and how weshould be treating each other,
cause it makes me.
It truly hurts my heart when Ihear women say things that I
used to say to myself I don'thave friends, I don't need
friends, I don't want friends,and that's just not true.
(17:52):
I allowed myself to see thatanother woman's light doesn't
dim mine in any way and, viceversa, that I can clap for her
and cheer for her and know thatone day, whenever, if ever, I
(18:14):
don't have to wonder when mytime is coming because it will,
um, and I'm thankful because Iknow that it will happen.
All right, I do have rapid firequestions for this.
Give me uh, uh.
I'm not gonna read all thisgreat um.
What's one compliment you'vegiven another woman this week?
(18:35):
I told a lady today I believethat it was that everything that
she was doing she was qualifiedto do because she was
dismissing herself.
And I'm like no, you're doesn'tmatter what you think the fact
that you've been given anassignment Because you know we
got girls over here and you haveto do it, because somebody
(18:57):
needs you to do it, and so Igave it a compliment of like
you're qualified to do it, cutit out.
Who's a woman you secretlyadmire but haven't told yet
Y'all?
I don't know.
Okay, I'm going to say somebodyfamous and mine would be.
A woman that I truly, trulyadmire is Priscilla Shrier.
(19:22):
That's just the truth, and Ihaven't told her because I
haven't met her yet.
And women in my life, god hasjust allowed me to come to a
space and being so intentionalwith telling them, like, if I
see somebody in the grocerystore and I love her haircut,
I'd be like, oh my goodness.
I actually gave a lady acompliment the other day in the
store and I loved the shirt thatshe had on Actually, it was her
(19:43):
one at the gas station.
I told her I loved her hair.
And then another lady it was ashirt.
I told her I loved her hair.
And then another lady it was ashirt, and I was like, ooh, I
love that shirt, it's reallypretty on you.
And so I went through a phasewhere God just had me telling
people like, tell her.
And I would be like that'scrazy.
I'm not about to tell this ladythat, but I did.
I started just giving womencompliments because I realized
we as women will say it in ourhead Like, ooh, I like her purse
(20:05):
.
Or celebrate silently oh, I'mcheering from the front row,
front and center, woo-woo, handsraised, if I can have a cowbell
.
Or I'm in there, I'm in thebuilding with it all.
What's one red flag in afriendship?
You no longer ignore?
(20:26):
Consistency and consistency.
I would say that I no longerignore that or reciprocity Is
that what it is?
Reciprocation I'll say thatReciprocation when, and not that
(20:46):
it's a tip for a tap.
But if I'm taking time to callyou, I would like for you
sometimes to take time to callme like that, not just, oh, I
did this and you didn't, butjust making sure that I'm making
an effort to show up for you ina way that you need me to.
Whatever that looks like, Iwould like for the same thing to
(21:06):
happen this way as well, and soI pay attention to that,
because I found myself runningand chasing people all the time
and I don't have the time or thecapacity to do that anymore.
Now I'm not saying I'm notgoing to run after my friends.
Hear me when I say, clearly Iwas doing it in a wrong,
unhealthy way.
Okay, and so now I look at itin a healthy perspective to say
(21:30):
and I also have conversationswith people to say, hey, I feel
like this.
Let me know if my feelings are.
If you feel the same, they'renot relevant.
Help me walk through what I'mfeeling and what's a way I
(21:54):
protect my peace.
When comparison creeps in theword, I will sit and pray and
say, no, catch it, check it,change it is what I say, like
that's a thought.
Where did it come from?
What has you feeling that way,checking what's going on in my
day, my week, my whatever, andthen changing it to like, okay,
that that's not true.
Or maybe I feel like it's true.
What conversation do I need tohave?
Do I need to have Yo?
(22:16):
On this wonderful day?
And at the end of this podcast,I want y'all to ask yourself am
I really clapping, or am I doingit from a perspective of I'm
clapping for her only because Iknow my time is next?
I have no idea what.
Whatever it is you're trying toaccomplish, you know that my
time is next.
What is every day that I it isyou're trying to accomplish?
(22:36):
You know that my time is next.
What is every day that I wakeup is time added to my life, and
so I get to choose in thosemoments, and every day for me is
a win.
Every day that I wake up and Iget to spend with my husband and
my children and my family andmy friends and you all, that's a
win.
So my time is now.
That's what I tell myself.
(22:58):
Oh, when, my time, my time isnow Every day my time.
Oh well, girl, when you getthere, I'm already there.
I woke up this morning.
I'm there.
Hello, are y'all with me?
Every day that I wake up is awinning day for me.
I hope it's the same for you.
Y'all, get out there, move,groove, shake and bake.
Walk in.
Your purpose.
Your purpose connects tosomeone else.
They cannot walk in theirsuntil you are walking in yours.
(23:19):
We are combat ready.
Y'all.
See, I got my camo on today.
We are always fighting for thebest version of ourselves.
Y'all, I will catch y'all nextweek.
Have an amazing rest of yourweek, reach your goals.
I believe that you will.
I know that you will.
I know that you can.
I am truly clapping for youbecause I am a girl's girl and I
(23:41):
want you all to win.
Y'all.
I will see y'all later.
Bye.
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