April 9, 2025 • 37 mins
We'd Love to Hear your Feedback!
What if the most loving thing you could do for everyone in your life was to choose yourself first? Girl today - we tackle the guilt, fear, and misconceptions that keep us from prioritizing our own wellbeing.
Choosing yourself doesn't make you selfish—it's the foundation for showing up powerfully in every relationship and responsibility. I share my own journey of constantly putting others first until I realized I had completely "ghosted" myself, and how learning to prioritize my needs has actually made me more effective in serving others. We dive into why choosing yourself is not selfish but necessary for being the best version of yourself in all your relationships and responsibilities.
• Choosing yourself doesn't mean you don't love others - it means stopping patterns where everything matters except you
• When you don't choose yourself, others will fill your calendar and make decisions for you
• Guilt often prevents self-prioritization because society expects women to be available 24/7
• God didn't call you to be everyone's savior - He already sent one
• Like a vessel needing refilling, your emotional, spiritual and physical needs require regular attention
• Morning check-ins help identify what you need emotionally, spiritually and physically each day
• Set boundaries without apologies - "The version of me God is building requires rest"
• Speak life over yourself before the world speaks over you
• When you choose yourself, you teach others (especially children) they can do the same
• You don't have to abandon anyone to stay true to yourself - just make room for you too
Share this episode with someone who needs permission to put themselves on their priority list. Subscribe on YouTube and follow @coachtochamoore on social media for more encouragement to fight for the best version of you.
Thank you for joining us on this journey to empowerment. Remember, you are worth fighting for H.E.R.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey girl, come here.
Yep, right there.
Listen, this one is between youand me, no fluff.
We're gonna have a real seriousheart-to-heart conversation.
So I need y'all to lock in onthis episode.
Okay, don't leave me out hereby myself, from one woman to
another.
I need you to hear what I'msaying.
It is okay for you to chooseyou.
(00:20):
It's okay for you to be chosenand not just by somebody else by
you.
It's okay for you to be chosenand not just by somebody else,
by you.
Hey, y'all, welcome to today'sepisode of the squad podcast,
where we are always fighting forthe best version of ourself and
we are rooted in purpose,walking in the full authority of
who we are.
I'm your host, coach TashaMoore, and I'm so excited, as
(00:42):
always, to be here with you.
Beautiful ladies, today, y'allthis episode I was like I'm
really about to talk about this,right?
So today I will need y'all tolean in, call your mom, your
auntie, your friends, whoeveryou need to call and tell them
we are having a realheart-to-heart conversation
(01:03):
today.
So we're talking today aboutchoosing yourself.
I know who does that, right.
The truth of the matter is, letme break this down for y'all
Choosing yourself does not meanby any means that you're selfish
, and that's, I think, part ofthe narrative that I had.
It's like choosing me means I'mnot choosing my family or
(01:24):
somebody else, and the truth isit doesn't make me not a good
mom.
It doesn't mean that I don'tlove my kids, that I don't love
my husband, that I don't love myfamily.
Do y'all hear me today?
The truth about choosingyourself, it doesn't mean you
don't love your church, likeright.
It doesn't mean any of thosethings.
And it doesn't mean that youdon't love your purpose.
(01:46):
What it does mean is that youstop living in ways that say
everything else is moreimportant than me.
Did y'all hear me?
We stop living in ways that sayeverything matters except me.
I know that I might've mentionedit on here before how easy it
is for us to just take, like,self-care off the calendar or
(02:08):
something that we want to do offthe calendar and put other
things there.
The truth is, I've been rightthere with you, sis, I've done
the things, I've put otherthings in front of myself, and
so we're going to talk about ittoday, cause for me there was a
season when I was showing up foreverybody except Tasha.
Anybody else relate to that.
There was a season that I wasshowing up for everyone else,
(02:30):
everything else client callsbecause I work in real estate.
You know, I've shared that withy'all before church events,
birthday parties, all the things, and business launches, y'all,
you name it.
I was there, I was in thebuilding showing support because
I felt like I had to show upfor everything for everyone.
(02:51):
And finally I came to a pointwhere I just sat still and I
recognized something.
I had completely ghosted myself.
I was showing up, being there,doing the things, and I was
ghosting me.
So let me tell you what choosingyourself looks like.
It means saying yes to thethings that align and no to what
drains you, prioritizing yourpiece, not just your performance
(03:16):
.
Let me say that againPrioritizing your piece, not
just your performance, showingup for yourself in the same way
that you show up for everybodyelse.
That one, right there, took mea second.
When I wrote it I was like wow,showing up for myself, but then
I show up for everybody else.
Here's the truth If you don'tchoose you, people will choose
(03:45):
you for you.
If you don't choose you, peoplewill choose you for you.
They will put everything inspace with your name on it.
Before they even ask you,They'll say things like oh,
tasha will do it.
They will plan out stuff monthsahead and let you know a week
(04:06):
before.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I haveyou down to do this.
How do you know I was going tobe there, right?
How did you know I was going toshow up?
Because you always show up.
So if you don't choose you,someone else will choose for you
your calendar.
Hello, that was me.
I'm going to raise my hand.
My trauma chose me.
For a long time, I walkedaround in a version of myself
(04:35):
that I remember because I wantto never become her again, but I
don't want to remember becauseI was very mean to people.
Your fears will choose for you.
Been there, done that too.
I'll raise my hand on that, andeventually you'll begin living
a life that you don't evenrecognize.
You have no idea whose it is orwho it belongs to, and so when
we think about that, what comeswith that?
(04:57):
Guilt, guilt, because youchoose yourself.
I know for me, it would make mefeel like I wasn't a good mom,
wife, sister, daughter,granddaughter, auntie, whatever,
if I told someone else no totell myself yes, and so I just
(05:22):
wouldn't say no to them.
I would just say to them youknow what I mean, you're fine,
like you'll sleep later.
You know all the things that wesay.
So let's talk about guilt,because it's a real thing.
Let's be real.
Society tells us to be a goodwoman, we had to be available to
everything and everyone.
24 seven.
Would you agree with that?
I would always present, alwaysgiving, always nurturing.
(05:44):
I had a conversation withsomebody today and we were
talking about women are justnatural nurturers.
Well, not all women are andyeah, maybe we are, but that
does not mean we have to benurturing every second of every
day.
So who said that?
Neglect, um, nurturing meansneglecting you.
When I sat with this for asecond, it's like how do I
(06:08):
nurture everyone else, but Idon't find the time to nurture
me and who I am.
How does that work?
So here's the thing I have tosay about that.
God did not call you to beeverybody else's savior.
He already sent one.
He didn't call you to saveeveryone.
I was having a conversationwith someone and I said here's
(06:30):
the thing when you make peoplebelieve that you're always going
to come through for them, theybegin to rely on you as their
savior I know my name is notJesus they begin to rely on you
as the one that's always goingto save them, and the moment you
can't, they're upset, mad,angry and all the things,
because you couldn't, when thetruth is, they should not have
(06:53):
been relying you on in a waythat made you the only way.
They shouldn't be relying onyou in a way that made you the
only way Y'all.
Sometimes we don't chooseourself because we're afraid
that someone else will feelrejected, and so we'll come to a
space and place where we won'tchoose us because we don't want
(07:15):
them to feel like we don't careenough about them.
Y'all ever been there.
You have that girlfriend orthat friend or your boo or
whoever, and you want to say no,but you won't because they told
you, you know, they dealt withrejection all their life and
things like that, and theylegitimately have.
But here's the thing your no isnot rejection and there's
(07:37):
nothing wrong with that.
And saying no doesn't mean thatyou're rejecting them.
It means you're honoring you,because the truth is y'all.
(07:58):
Every vessel needs to berefilled.
When I go and I pour a cup ofwater and I drink the water,
eventually I'm going to have toget up and go refill the water,
and so we have to honor the factthat we need time to replenish
(08:19):
ourselves.
If you don't water a plant, itwill eventually die, because it
needs the nourishment and thenutrients from refilling, from a
drink, from water, fromnutrients from time, from
sunlight there's all differentthings that it needs, depending
on the stage that it is in.
So maybe you don't need a drinktoday, maybe you just need some
rest today.
Right, water?
(08:40):
Maybe you don't need watertoday, maybe you need sunlight
today.
Go sit by a pool or on a beachor something.
And we have to learn that,because we tell someone no and
they want to make it seem likewe are rejecting them, but
that's not what we're doing.
We're honoring us.
Let's take it to the word.
(09:01):
Matthew 1 and 35 says that evenJesus withdrew from the crowd
to pray.
Hello.
If Jesus needed time to reretreat and reset and reconnect,
what makes you think you don't?
What makes you think you don't?
You do.
(09:21):
He needed it and you do too,all right, and so I want to give
you something practical.
Let me go back when we talkabout reconnecting, because we
reconnect with friends, wereconnect with family, reconnect
with a spouse, whatever thatmight be.
Why don't we think to reconnect?
(09:44):
Why don't I'll talk about Tasha?
Why doesn't Tasha think enoughto say let Tasha reconnect with
Tasha?
Because when I don't take timeto sit with myself, I start to
not know who I am.
If I don't take time toreconnect with me, everything
else controls me because I don'tknow who I am.
(10:05):
One of the things that I havebeen doing that I used to tell
myself I absolutely hated.
And now I'm like yes, pleaseand thank you, is a massage
Y'all.
I used to lay there like this,cringing, like oh my gosh, this
hurts so bad.
Oh my gosh, this is the worstthing ever.
(10:26):
A massage, right?
That's literally how I wouldlay on the table, like I would
be like be very light, it hurts.
Now my girl.
I went the other day and it wasthis older lady and I was like,
oh, I don't know, baby, mynormal girl wasn't there that
day and so I was like you know,I'll just.
You know, her name seems cool,I'll go with her.
(10:46):
When I tell you that lady, Idon't know if it was or was not,
but it sure felt like an elbowwas going across my back.
My girl was in there.
Do you hear me?
Wait a minute.
She was rubbing up and down andI was laying on the floor.
This is the best thing ever.
This is the best thing ever.
If you don't take a moment toreconnect with you, you
disconnect from you.
(11:06):
Think about relationships thatyou don't take the time to
reconnect with a friend orreconnect with your spouse.
I know my husband and I, twoships passing in the night.
Sometimes we're dropping off,picking up a quick hug and a
kiss on the way out the door.
We have to be intentional withtaking time to reconnect.
I want you to understand.
You have to use that sameintentionality with yourself.
(11:28):
Jesus knew enough to say youknow what.
I'm going to step away from thecrowd.
I'm going to go retreat,reconnect with my father and
reconnect with me.
Do you hear me?
Today, y'all take the time toreconnect with yourself.
You, I know for me, I'mlearning that I like things that
(11:51):
I told myself I didn't like.
I like massages, I do.
I like sitting in quiet andstillness.
I need noise.
I can't sit in quiet.
That's what I would tell myself.
I can't.
Oh, my gosh, I can't stand onthis spot.
Turn something on.
Turn the radio on.
I need the TV on.
I have to go to sleep with theTV on.
Now I'd be like good night,right, because I've learned to
(12:14):
reconnect with myself, sittingin my car or wherever, and just
that internal peace for just me,sitting with T.
So, in a practical sense, I'mtelling you, I want to say this
(12:34):
this isn't about mindset, thisis about maintenance.
Just like a car, when you'redriving it, you have to take it
to good service.
Y'all you were the same way,you're built the same way.
This is not about mindset, it'sabout maintenance.
What do you need as far asmaintenance?
And so three practical thingsthat I want to share with you.
(12:55):
Start with the morning check-inwith yourself.
When you wake up.
The first thing I do when Iwake up, I'm like good morning,
girl, and I give myself a bighug, speaking of what I will do.
I give myself a big hug and I'mlike girl, girl, I love you.
I give myself a big hug Layingin bed.
(13:22):
I give myself a hug, and thenit's a check-in with myself.
Okay, what do I feel like Ineed emotionally today?
My husband was just leaving andyou know he came in to give me
a kiss and I stood up and I waslike I need a hug today.
You know, he came in to give mea kiss and I stood up and I was
like I need a hug today.
I just needed to feel thesafety of his arms around me.
Nothing bad happened, nothinglike, none of that.
(13:44):
I just needed a hug today.
What do you need emotionally inthe morning, like when you wake
up tomorrow, ask yourself, whatdo I need emotionally today?
Do I need to cry?
Do I need to scream?
Do I need to laugh?
What do I need?
Am I angry Emotionally?
Do I need to have aconversation so I can let go of
(14:04):
this thing that I was holding onsince yesterday, last week,
last month, whenever?
What do I need emotionallytoday?
And then, what do I needspiritually today?
Do I need to spend a littleextra time in my Bible this
morning?
Do I need to spend a littleextra time this morning?
I was up at four o'clock.
I got up early to, I went tothe restroom and I was going to
(14:28):
lay back down and I just satthere for a second, like, let me
just spend some extra timepraying this morning.
I feel like I need to reconnectwith my father a little bit
this morning.
So what do you need spiritually?
Whatever you believe, what doyou need spiritually today?
Do I need?
Are we doing yoga, like, whatare we doing, right?
Well, yoga goes with.
(14:49):
What do I need physically?
I said today when I was drivingto a meeting, I need to go on a
bike ride.
I haven't ridden the bike,walking and the things, but I
have not ridden the bike in awhile.
I need to go on a bike ride.
So tomorrow morning I'm goingto go on a bike ride.
If I don't do it when I comehome tonight, I'm going on a
(15:10):
bike ride.
That's what I need physically,just to feel the air on my face,
my body, my legs moving.
So I'm going to go on a bikeride.
That is what I physically need.
What do you need physically?
Those are the three things youshould be checking in with
yourself.
What do I need emotionallytoday?
Because when we don't get ouremotions to check, we all over
the place and then we don'trealize why we're yelling and
(15:31):
doing the stuff that we're doingis because we're emotionally
off balance.
What do I need to do to getthat together?
Then?
What do I need spirituallytoday?
What does my internal, what doI need.
And then the third thing whatdo I need physically today?
Because, guess what, I need abike ride today.
Tomorrow I might not need thatbike ride, I might just need a
(15:52):
breast walk.
I might need to do a couple upand down in my stairs in my
house.
But every single day, checkingin with myself, what do I need
emotionally today?
And I just needed a hug from myhusband and I was like, oh,
thank you, I just needed a hug.
What did you need?
Check in with yourself.
Those are the things that Iwould say for me, that are
(16:13):
practical things that I askmyself every day.
What do I need emotionallytoday?
All right, and so then the nextthing is set boundaries and
don't apologize for them.
I said it, I did Set boundariesand don't apologize.
We'll be like, oh, I'm sorry, Ican't go, I'm not able to come,
y'all.
(16:41):
I have a hard stop at seveno'clock.
Do people want to talk to meand see properties and think,
mm-hmm, my hard stop is seven.
That's combat ready.
That is purpose moments.
Well, not purpose momentsanymore.
That is squad podcast hard stopseven o'clock.
All the things Work related,not family Work related.
Seven Hard stop.
(17:02):
I'm not apologizing for that.
That hard stop allows me to getclarity, allows me to reset,
allows space.
Do y'all hear me?
The version of me that I ambecoming requires rest, it
requires space and it requiresclarity.
(17:23):
It does not require constantavailability, but we tell
ourselves that One of the thingsthat I am being exposed to at
this season in my life arepeople that have made a lot of
(17:46):
money, that have done a lot ofthings I won't just say money
that have done a lot of things.
And do you know what I'mlearning?
By like 12 o'clock, theirworkday is done.
I'm sitting here like, okay,I'm going home, home.
(18:06):
And I'm like, okay, y'all, Idon't do meetings after like
three o'clock.
They're like, oh, they're likeme.
And so I realize now like Iwould always get up early.
I was never a morning person.
All of a sudden, I'm up at fourand five and whatever in the
morning.
What's crazy is the people thatI'm looking at like man, that's
the aspiration man.
(18:27):
They're killing it man, they'redoing this, they're doing that.
Guess what time they get up?
Same time I do four and five inthe morning.
And so we were like, hey, girl,I know it's early, but I just
wanted to send this before Iforgot.
I'm like, hey girl, I'm up andI'm sitting here like, wait,
they're about two, what here?
I am thinking I'm the only oneand I realized that their day is
(18:48):
done at noon or one or whatever, because they've been up since
five o'clock in the morning.
Y'all.
I do some of my best worksitting at the computer when
everyone else in this house isasleep and I get stuff.
I'm like, oh, that's a good one.
Came up with this podcast atfour o'clock in the morning and
I was like, why am I up so early?
Why, because you got work to do.
And by noon, 12, one o'clock,my husband comes home every day
(19:11):
for lunch.
He goes back to work for alittle bit, but it's like, yeah,
day's kind of done.
And I'm realizing as I get intodifferent, different
atmospheres around differentpeople and things like that
y'all their day is done.
When a lot of people are juststarting, like eight, nine,
they're like, yeah, we've got tohave a little like snacky,
(19:32):
snack, we're going to lunch andthen we're going to do whatever.
Hey girl, we gotta go get amassage.
You want to go?
And I'm like this one, no, Ididn't call yeah before I go,
you know, home for the day, homefor the day, and I'm sitting
here looking like they've setthemselves up that it is totally
(19:56):
okay.
They don't apologize forboundaries, they don't apologize
for leaving at 12 o'clock.
What meeting they might have ameeting at 2, 3, maybe.
I know I was fortunate to be on.
I joined ESP Ritzy and I was ona call with I won't mention his
(20:19):
name, I could, but a gentlemanwho is doing really, really well
with ESP and he said to me Iwork probably 12 hours a week.
I'm like what he showed methings like in back office, like
you can make this, you know allthe things.
And I'm sitting here like, tellme what.
He showed me things.
I can back office, like you canmake this, you know all the
(20:40):
things.
And I'm sitting here like, tellme what time you say you're
back, how many hours a week didyou say you're back?
Again, I was like, wait, let mehear it one more time 12, if I
want to, probably about nine,but maybe 12.
A week, not a day a week.
And I was like, and it was like, oh, you know, I get so much of
(21:01):
my time back, so much of mytime in doing that to be able to
spend time with my husband, ourchildren.
My oldest is 25 years old, wehave a 16 year old and a 14 year
old almost 15.
And so I'm looking at it likenow we've got time to go do some
of the things that we didn'tget to do before, right, and so
it's not about oh, I createdthis life.
I get to go hang out with myfriends during the day, because
(21:27):
once my kids get out of school,it's a wrap.
I'm running them all over theplace.
So I'm having to learn that theversion of me that God is
currently building requires resty'all.
She requires it.
That rest gives me clarity andthat clarity allows me to get
(21:47):
space when I need it, where Ineed it.
It doesn't mean that I have tobe consistently available to
everyone all the time, butthat's what I told myself.
My phone goes on do not disturb, I think at nine o'clock, maybe
eight nine.
I have it set automatically andthe people there's numbers that
(22:11):
can come through will comethrough.
The rest, catch you in themorning.
I never used to do that.
Have my phone on, do notdisturb, what?
No, now I absolutely do.
What if I miss something from aclient?
Are you really going to respondto them at 9 o'clock.
I used to 10 o'clock.
They text I'm responding back,not anymore, and I don't
(22:36):
apologize for that because it'sallowing me to sleep where I
used to, not it's allowing me tobe show up better for the
people that I love, for you guys, for my family, for everyone,
because I've gotten rest and I'mbetter for it.
Right, and then the third thing.
(22:56):
Y'all I know you may have heardit before, maybe you haven't
when we talk about speaking lifeover yourself before the world
speaks over you, what does thatmean?
What are you saying to you thatis nice and kind and loving and
(23:19):
nurturing?
I know for me I was sayingloving, kind, nurturing things
to everyone else that I didn'teven say to myself.
I would never give myself a hugor look in the mirror and say I
love you.
I would not say that to me.
But now I've learned that I amjust as deserving of an I love
(23:43):
you for myself as the ones thatI give to everyone else.
Do y'all hear me today?
So I want to encourage you.
I'm going to hold it up becauseI wrote it down.
Look in the mirror, you, I'mtalking to you.
Look in the mirror and say I amworthy of my own care, I am
(24:12):
worthy of kindness.
I am worthy of the investmentin myself.
I choose me because God alreadydid.
Listen y'all, you are worthy ofcaring for you.
(24:34):
You are worthy of pressingtoward all that you want to be.
You are worthy to not apologizefor setting boundaries.
You are worthy to choose you.
(24:55):
You are worthy to choose you,and I get it, y'all.
Sometimes it's so hard to do tosay yes to you because you've
never done it before.
I want to encourage you Start,start today, start now.
(25:20):
I'll never forget the one timethat I told a friend no, y'all,
I felt so bad.
I literally cried.
There are times when sometimesI'm like, oh man, I feel so bad,
but it's like the choice thatyou made was the one you needed
to make, and that's what I tellmyself.
So the choice that you made wasthe one you needed to make.
(25:42):
Move on.
I made the choice because it'sthe one I needed to make.
Did I want to be at that event?
Yes, but I, and I couldn't.
I made the choice that I madebecause it's the one that I
needed to make.
Do y'all hear me?
I made the choice that I madebecause it's the one that I
needed to make, and I don't oweanyone an explanation for that.
You don't either.
You don't owe anyone anexplanation, unless you choose
(26:05):
to give it.
I've made choices and donethings and been like you know.
I want to show up for thatperson, but I also know that my
schedule isn't going to allowfor it.
Did I have anything to do?
Maybe not.
I needed some rest.
I made the choice that I madebecause it's the one that I
needed to make.
Do y'all hear me on today.
(26:27):
Make the choice that you needto make, because it's the one
that you need to make.
Girl, I love that for you.
I'm so excited.
I know it's going to bebeautiful, amazing and awesome,
and although I would love to bethere, I'm not able to.
Is there another way that I cansupport you?
(26:49):
I ask that often how can Isupport you?
I'm not able to attend.
Is there another way that I cansupport you?
Well, no, not really.
That's OK.
Can I pray for you?
And even if I don't say it tothem, I'm praying over the event
or whatever it may be that I'msupporting it, maybe not
(27:10):
physically there, maybe notphysically there.
If I went everywhere, y'all,I'd be everywhere all the time.
So I have to be strategic insaying, okay, I'll be able to
attend this this month,hopefully they'll have something
else, and maybe next month I'llbe able to go there or now I'm
not able to go to anywhere, youknow but in honoring the space
that I'm in and what that lookslike, and I'm encouraging you
(27:33):
today to do the same Y'all.
So, sis, girl to girl, squadsquad squad member to squad
member, please don't wait forthe world to pick you up.
(27:56):
Please don't wait for the wordto pay payout.
Don't wait for the approval,the invitation or the validation
.
Pick you, choose you, love youevery single day.
Did y'all hear what I said?
Sis, please don't wait onsomeone else to pick you, pick
(28:16):
you, choose you, love you,listen to you every single day.
Choose you every day.
You're worthy of that choice.
Choose you every day.
You're worthy of that choice.
You know, the one thing that Irealized is when I choose myself
(28:43):
, I'm teaching my daughters, mycommunity, my friends, that it's
okay for them to choose themtoo.
My daughter the other day waslike my friend is asking me to
go and I do want to hang outwith her, but I feel like my
emotional battery is justdrained.
I said, well, tell her I wouldlove to.
Can we pick another weekend?
Please Choose you, you needsome rest.
(29:06):
And you need rest because whenyou don't get rest, girl, I'll
be like we about done what'sgoing on, like you need rest
because your rest helps ourrelationship.
Do y'all hear me?
Because she chose rest to sayyou know what I need to sleep a
little bit.
Because she chose rest to sayyou know what I need to sleep a
little bit.
She was a better person thisweek, last week, next month,
(29:30):
whenever.
Because she chose herself andthe rest that she knew she
needed, even though she reallydidn't want to.
You know, be with her friend.
I want to hang out with myfriends, all the things right,
I'm that way sometimes too.
Like man, I really want to go,but I'm like you know what?
I just need to sit on, orsitting on this couch.
Do I see that load of laundrymoves on me?
Yes, I do, and right now I needto honor where I am and that's.
(29:53):
I just need to lay here andtake a nap.
Okay, do y'all hear me?
And I'm realizing that I'mteaching them.
It's okay for them to choosethem too, and I love that I was
so proud for deciding.
You know, like, hey, can we doit another weekend?
(30:13):
Okay, so y'all, if this messagespoke to you, I need you to do
me a favor.
I need you to share it withsomebody.
I need you to make sure thatyou hit the subscribe button.
If you're watching this onYouTube, I need you to make sure
that you are sharing it.
This was another sister who youwere sitting watching, not
choosing herself.
Don't be that friend that hearssomething good and doesn't
(30:34):
share it with someone who youknow needs it.
Or maybe they don't need ittoday, maybe they'll need it
next month, maybe you don't knowwhen they'll need it or if they
ever will.
But share it with them becauseyou care enough to say I don't
know when you're going to needthis, but guess what?
Everybody needs to know thatthey can choose themselves.
That's the truth.
There's nothing wrong with youchoosing you at all, and stop
(30:54):
allowing the world, people,whomever, to make you think you
can't.
Hello, hello.
So we are going to do the rapidfire questions.
Hold on, let me find them.
Are they here?
Let's see where they are.
(31:18):
I gotta put my passport in um.
Hold on, hold on, guys, my fatfingers don't, um, okay, hold on
.
All right, here we go.
(31:40):
Let's see what they are.
All right, here are the rapidfire y'all.
Hold on, hold on.
(32:02):
Oh, sorry, alright, here we go.
Alright, okay, um, firstquestion what's one thing that
you choose daily on purpose?
My relationship with the Lord,amen, um, ooh, if, choosing
yourself, had a color, whatcolor would it be?
(32:23):
Red, fiery red, stand out, popout red.
It would be red.
Self-care or soul care.
Ooh, what's your first go-to?
Soul care?
That was a good one.
Listen, my people be coming upwith good stuff.
Soul care, definitely my soul.
(32:44):
I got to be right with the Lordbefore anything else.
Right, I was sitting in a chairand I was like you know what,
lord?
I don't even know if I askedyou to forgive me yesterday and
it was like what'd you do?
I don't really know, but I'msure I did something that did
not align.
So, please, I'm sorry.
One boundary you're proud to beset no, one boundary that I am
(33:09):
proud that I set is a no.
My nay is nay and my yay is yay.
Learning that it's okay for meto say no, that's a boundary,
and it may not seem like a, itis a significant one to me a no,
boundary, and so one word thatmakes you feel powerful purpose,
(33:32):
because I didn't always knowthat I had one, and so purpose
makes me feel powerful.
Um, what's a no that protectedyour peace?
(33:53):
No, I'm just playing.
Um, I know that protected mypeace, um, going to things that
I was invited to when I reallydidn't want to go, learning to
say no and not just going.
(34:15):
So I was like I'm going to gobecause if I don't, they'll have
something to say.
Somebody's going to saysomething, I'm going to be upset
or whatever.
I'm just like you know, I'm notable to go, and so that
protected my peace was because Iwould go, and then I'd just
like you know, I'm not able togo, and so that protected my
peace was because I would go,and then I'd be like why did I
even come?
And you know that internaldialogue was very negative, and
(34:36):
so I would say that I know thatprotected my peace was learning
to say it and win it and standbehind it, and not let people
coax me into going.
Anyway, what's your favoriteway to remind yourself, my
favorite way to remind myselfthat I'm worth it?
Music, I'm going to wait, mylife's just fine.
(34:59):
I ain't going to let nothingget in my way.
Listen, mary J, I'm worth it.
A good Mary J song, I don'tknow and a good I Love Jesus
song makes me feel like I'mworth it.
What scripture do you stand onwhen doubt creeps in?
To everything, there is apurpose, a time To everything.
(35:21):
There is a season, a time andpurpose to everything under the
sun.
So when I'm doubting, you'relike this is the season for this
.
You've got to do it.
You know, um, choosing yourselffeels like sparkles.
I love a good sparkle andrhinestone.
It just makes me feel good thatI'm learning to understand that
(35:42):
I'm worthy of choosing me.
Um, so, and the last one is apurpose knocked on my door today
.
What would it find me doing?
Encouraging all of you to fightfor the best version of you.
That's what I hope it wouldfind me doing anyway.
Um, that's one of the thingsthat truly, truly brings my
heart joy, and that'sencouraging you to fight for the
(36:05):
best version of yourself.
So y'all, listen, stop puttingyourself last.
Understand that you are worthyof being first on the list to
the yes Okay, um, y'all, pleasedo me a favor.
I really and truly I'm lookingfor women to bring on this
podcast.
Dm me a name, please, and thankyou.
(36:27):
If it's you girl, put your namein the box, it don't matter.
I'm looking for women that Idon't know that their story
needs to be heard.
You've heard it and you're like, hey, I think you need to share
it.
Shoulder tap them.
I'll shoulder tap them and say,girl, come here, come on, sis,
let's share your story.
So please send me a name.
Y'all.
If you're listening to this, nomatter where you are, and you
(36:48):
know someone that has a story,please send me a DM on IG or
Facebook, coach Tasha Moore, inMessenger, so that I can have
them on the show.
Y'all, please understand you'reworthy of the yes and you can
choose you every single day.
Y'all, please understand,you're worthy of the yes and you
can choose you every singlething, y'all.
(37:11):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me.
How are we doing with our goals?
I forgot to start like that.
Did we do it?
Are we making our way towardthem?
If we are, we clapping it up.
We clapping it up, we clappingit up.
And if we're not, that's okay.
Clean slate.
Tomorrow's a new day to startagain.
Y'all, have a wonderful rest ofyour week.
Get out there, move, groove,shake and bake.
(37:34):
We are combat ready, alwaysfighting for the best version of
ourselves, because we are soworthy of fighting for us.
Y'all have a good day.
I will see y'all next time.
Bye, bye.
(37:56):
You don't have to abandonanyone to stay true to yourself.
You just have to make room foryou too.
Hey girl, come here.
Yep, right there.
Listen, this one is between youand me, no fluff.
We're gonna have a real seriousheart-to-heart conversation.
So I need y'all to lock in onthis episode.
Okay, don't leave me out hereby myself, from one woman to
another.
I need you to hear what I'msaying.
It is okay for you to chooseyou.
(00:20):
It's okay for you to be chosenand not just by somebody else by
you.
It's okay for you to be chosenand not just by somebody else,
by you.
Hey, y'all, welcome to today'sepisode of the squad podcast,
where we are always fighting forthe best version of ourself and
we are rooted in purpose,walking in the full authority of
who we are.
I'm your host, coach TashaMoore, and I'm so excited, as
(00:42):
always, to be here with you.
Beautiful ladies, today, y'allthis episode I was like I'm
really about to talk about this,right?
So today I will need y'all tolean in, call your mom, your
auntie, your friends, whoeveryou need to call and tell them
we are having a realheart-to-heart conversation
(01:03):
today.
So we're talking today aboutchoosing yourself.
I know who does that, right.
The truth of the matter is, letme break this down for y'all
Choosing yourself does not meanby any means that you're selfish
, and that's, I think, part ofthe narrative that I had.
It's like choosing me means I'mnot choosing my family or
(01:24):
somebody else, and the truth isit doesn't make me not a good
mom.
It doesn't mean that I don'tlove my kids, that I don't love
my husband, that I don't love myfamily.
Do y'all hear me today?
The truth about choosingyourself, it doesn't mean you
don't love your church, likeright.
It doesn't mean any of thosethings.
And it doesn't mean that youdon't love your purpose.
(01:46):
What it does mean is that youstop living in ways that say
everything else is moreimportant than me.
Did y'all hear me?
We stop living in ways that sayeverything matters except me.
I know that I might've mentionedit on here before how easy it
is for us to just take, like,self-care off the calendar or
(02:08):
something that we want to do offthe calendar and put other
things there.
The truth is, I've been rightthere with you, sis, I've done
the things, I've put otherthings in front of myself, and
so we're going to talk about ittoday, cause for me there was a
season when I was showing up foreverybody except Tasha.
Anybody else relate to that.
There was a season that I wasshowing up for everyone else,
(02:30):
everything else client callsbecause I work in real estate.
You know, I've shared that withy'all before church events,
birthday parties, all the things, and business launches, y'all,
you name it.
I was there, I was in thebuilding showing support because
I felt like I had to show upfor everything for everyone.
(02:51):
And finally I came to a pointwhere I just sat still and I
recognized something.
I had completely ghosted myself.
I was showing up, being there,doing the things, and I was
ghosting me.
So let me tell you what choosingyourself looks like.
It means saying yes to thethings that align and no to what
drains you, prioritizing yourpiece, not just your performance
(03:16):
.
Let me say that againPrioritizing your piece, not
just your performance, showingup for yourself in the same way
that you show up for everybodyelse.
That one, right there, took mea second.
When I wrote it I was like wow,showing up for myself, but then
I show up for everybody else.
Here's the truth If you don'tchoose you, people will choose
(03:45):
you for you.
If you don't choose you, peoplewill choose you for you.
They will put everything inspace with your name on it.
Before they even ask you,They'll say things like oh,
tasha will do it.
They will plan out stuff monthsahead and let you know a week
(04:06):
before.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I haveyou down to do this.
How do you know I was going tobe there, right?
How did you know I was going toshow up?
Because you always show up.
So if you don't choose you,someone else will choose for you
your calendar.
Hello, that was me.
I'm going to raise my hand.
My trauma chose me.
For a long time, I walkedaround in a version of myself
(04:35):
that I remember because I wantto never become her again, but I
don't want to remember becauseI was very mean to people.
Your fears will choose for you.
Been there, done that too.
I'll raise my hand on that, andeventually you'll begin living
a life that you don't evenrecognize.
You have no idea whose it is orwho it belongs to, and so when
we think about that, what comeswith that?
(04:57):
Guilt, guilt, because youchoose yourself.
I know for me, it would make mefeel like I wasn't a good mom,
wife, sister, daughter,granddaughter, auntie, whatever,
if I told someone else no totell myself yes, and so I just
(05:22):
wouldn't say no to them.
I would just say to them youknow what I mean, you're fine,
like you'll sleep later.
You know all the things that wesay.
So let's talk about guilt,because it's a real thing.
Let's be real.
Society tells us to be a goodwoman, we had to be available to
everything and everyone.
24 seven.
Would you agree with that?
I would always present, alwaysgiving, always nurturing.
(05:44):
I had a conversation withsomebody today and we were
talking about women are justnatural nurturers.
Well, not all women are andyeah, maybe we are, but that
does not mean we have to benurturing every second of every
day.
So who said that?
Neglect, um, nurturing meansneglecting you.
When I sat with this for asecond, it's like how do I
(06:08):
nurture everyone else, but Idon't find the time to nurture
me and who I am.
How does that work?
So here's the thing I have tosay about that.
God did not call you to beeverybody else's savior.
He already sent one.
He didn't call you to saveeveryone.
I was having a conversationwith someone and I said here's
(06:30):
the thing when you make peoplebelieve that you're always going
to come through for them, theybegin to rely on you as their
savior I know my name is notJesus they begin to rely on you
as the one that's always goingto save them, and the moment you
can't, they're upset, mad,angry and all the things,
because you couldn't, when thetruth is, they should not have
(06:53):
been relying you on in a waythat made you the only way.
They shouldn't be relying onyou in a way that made you the
only way Y'all.
Sometimes we don't chooseourself because we're afraid
that someone else will feelrejected, and so we'll come to a
space and place where we won'tchoose us because we don't want
(07:15):
them to feel like we don't careenough about them.
Y'all ever been there.
You have that girlfriend orthat friend or your boo or
whoever, and you want to say no,but you won't because they told
you, you know, they dealt withrejection all their life and
things like that, and theylegitimately have.
But here's the thing your no isnot rejection and there's
(07:37):
nothing wrong with that.
And saying no doesn't mean thatyou're rejecting them.
It means you're honoring you,because the truth is y'all.
(07:58):
Every vessel needs to berefilled.
When I go and I pour a cup ofwater and I drink the water,
eventually I'm going to have toget up and go refill the water,
and so we have to honor the factthat we need time to replenish
(08:19):
ourselves.
If you don't water a plant, itwill eventually die, because it
needs the nourishment and thenutrients from refilling, from a
drink, from water, fromnutrients from time, from
sunlight there's all differentthings that it needs, depending
on the stage that it is in.
So maybe you don't need a drinktoday, maybe you just need some
rest today.
Right, water?
(08:40):
Maybe you don't need watertoday, maybe you need sunlight
today.
Go sit by a pool or on a beachor something.
And we have to learn that,because we tell someone no and
they want to make it seem likewe are rejecting them, but
that's not what we're doing.
We're honoring us.
Let's take it to the word.
(09:01):
Matthew 1 and 35 says that evenJesus withdrew from the crowd
to pray.
Hello.
If Jesus needed time to reretreat and reset and reconnect,
what makes you think you don't?
What makes you think you don't?
You do.
(09:21):
He needed it and you do too,all right, and so I want to give
you something practical.
Let me go back when we talkabout reconnecting, because we
reconnect with friends, wereconnect with family, reconnect
with a spouse, whatever thatmight be.
Why don't we think to reconnect?
(09:44):
Why don't I'll talk about Tasha?
Why doesn't Tasha think enoughto say let Tasha reconnect with
Tasha?
Because when I don't take timeto sit with myself, I start to
not know who I am.
If I don't take time toreconnect with me, everything
else controls me because I don'tknow who I am.
(10:05):
One of the things that I havebeen doing that I used to tell
myself I absolutely hated.
And now I'm like yes, pleaseand thank you, is a massage
Y'all.
I used to lay there like this,cringing, like oh my gosh, this
hurts so bad.
Oh my gosh, this is the worstthing ever.
(10:26):
A massage, right?
That's literally how I wouldlay on the table, like I would
be like be very light, it hurts.
Now my girl.
I went the other day and it wasthis older lady and I was like,
oh, I don't know, baby, mynormal girl wasn't there that
day and so I was like you know,I'll just.
You know, her name seems cool,I'll go with her.
(10:46):
When I tell you that lady, Idon't know if it was or was not,
but it sure felt like an elbowwas going across my back.
My girl was in there.
Do you hear me?
Wait a minute.
She was rubbing up and down andI was laying on the floor.
This is the best thing ever.
This is the best thing ever.
If you don't take a moment toreconnect with you, you
disconnect from you.
(11:06):
Think about relationships thatyou don't take the time to
reconnect with a friend orreconnect with your spouse.
I know my husband and I, twoships passing in the night.
Sometimes we're dropping off,picking up a quick hug and a
kiss on the way out the door.
We have to be intentional withtaking time to reconnect.
I want you to understand.
You have to use that sameintentionality with yourself.
(11:28):
Jesus knew enough to say youknow what.
I'm going to step away from thecrowd.
I'm going to go retreat,reconnect with my father and
reconnect with me.
Do you hear me?
Today, y'all take the time toreconnect with yourself.
You, I know for me, I'mlearning that I like things that
(11:51):
I told myself I didn't like.
I like massages, I do.
I like sitting in quiet andstillness.
I need noise.
I can't sit in quiet.
That's what I would tell myself.
I can't.
Oh, my gosh, I can't stand onthis spot.
Turn something on.
Turn the radio on.
I need the TV on.
I have to go to sleep with theTV on.
Now I'd be like good night,right, because I've learned to
(12:14):
reconnect with myself, sittingin my car or wherever, and just
that internal peace for just me,sitting with T.
So, in a practical sense, I'mtelling you, I want to say this
(12:34):
this isn't about mindset, thisis about maintenance.
Just like a car, when you'redriving it, you have to take it
to good service.
Y'all you were the same way,you're built the same way.
This is not about mindset, it'sabout maintenance.
What do you need as far asmaintenance?
And so three practical thingsthat I want to share with you.
(12:55):
Start with the morning check-inwith yourself.
When you wake up.
The first thing I do when Iwake up, I'm like good morning,
girl, and I give myself a bighug, speaking of what I will do.
I give myself a big hug and I'mlike girl, girl, I love you.
I give myself a big hug Layingin bed.
(13:22):
I give myself a hug, and thenit's a check-in with myself.
Okay, what do I feel like Ineed emotionally today?
My husband was just leaving andyou know he came in to give me
a kiss and I stood up and I waslike I need a hug today.
You know, he came in to give mea kiss and I stood up and I was
like I need a hug today.
I just needed to feel thesafety of his arms around me.
Nothing bad happened, nothinglike, none of that.
(13:44):
I just needed a hug today.
What do you need emotionally inthe morning, like when you wake
up tomorrow, ask yourself, whatdo I need emotionally today?
Do I need to cry?
Do I need to scream?
Do I need to laugh?
What do I need?
Am I angry Emotionally?
Do I need to have aconversation so I can let go of
(14:04):
this thing that I was holding onsince yesterday, last week,
last month, whenever?
What do I need emotionallytoday?
And then, what do I needspiritually today?
Do I need to spend a littleextra time in my Bible this
morning?
Do I need to spend a littleextra time this morning?
I was up at four o'clock.
I got up early to, I went tothe restroom and I was going to
(14:28):
lay back down and I just satthere for a second, like, let me
just spend some extra timepraying this morning.
I feel like I need to reconnectwith my father a little bit
this morning.
So what do you need spiritually?
Whatever you believe, what doyou need spiritually today?
Do I need?
Are we doing yoga, like, whatare we doing, right?
Well, yoga goes with.
(14:49):
What do I need physically?
I said today when I was drivingto a meeting, I need to go on a
bike ride.
I haven't ridden the bike,walking and the things, but I
have not ridden the bike in awhile.
I need to go on a bike ride.
So tomorrow morning I'm goingto go on a bike ride.
If I don't do it when I comehome tonight, I'm going on a
(15:10):
bike ride.
That's what I need physically,just to feel the air on my face,
my body, my legs moving.
So I'm going to go on a bikeride.
That is what I physically need.
What do you need physically?
Those are the three things youshould be checking in with
yourself.
What do I need emotionallytoday?
Because when we don't get ouremotions to check, we all over
the place and then we don'trealize why we're yelling and
(15:31):
doing the stuff that we're doingis because we're emotionally
off balance.
What do I need to do to getthat together?
Then?
What do I need spirituallytoday?
What does my internal, what doI need.
And then the third thing whatdo I need physically today?
Because, guess what, I need abike ride today.
Tomorrow I might not need thatbike ride, I might just need a
(15:52):
breast walk.
I might need to do a couple upand down in my stairs in my
house.
But every single day, checkingin with myself, what do I need
emotionally today?
And I just needed a hug from myhusband and I was like, oh,
thank you, I just needed a hug.
What did you need?
Check in with yourself.
Those are the things that Iwould say for me, that are
(16:13):
practical things that I askmyself every day.
What do I need emotionallytoday?
All right, and so then the nextthing is set boundaries and
don't apologize for them.
I said it, I did Set boundariesand don't apologize.
We'll be like, oh, I'm sorry, Ican't go, I'm not able to come,
y'all.
(16:41):
I have a hard stop at seveno'clock.
Do people want to talk to meand see properties and think,
mm-hmm, my hard stop is seven.
That's combat ready.
That is purpose moments.
Well, not purpose momentsanymore.
That is squad podcast hard stopseven o'clock.
All the things Work related,not family Work related.
Seven Hard stop.
(17:02):
I'm not apologizing for that.
That hard stop allows me to getclarity, allows me to reset,
allows space.
Do y'all hear me?
The version of me that I ambecoming requires rest, it
requires space and it requiresclarity.
(17:23):
It does not require constantavailability, but we tell
ourselves that One of the thingsthat I am being exposed to at
this season in my life arepeople that have made a lot of
(17:46):
money, that have done a lot ofthings I won't just say money
that have done a lot of things.
And do you know what I'mlearning?
By like 12 o'clock, theirworkday is done.
I'm sitting here like, okay,I'm going home, home.
(18:06):
And I'm like, okay, y'all, Idon't do meetings after like
three o'clock.
They're like, oh, they're likeme.
And so I realize now like Iwould always get up early.
I was never a morning person.
All of a sudden, I'm up at fourand five and whatever in the
morning.
What's crazy is the people thatI'm looking at like man, that's
the aspiration man.
(18:27):
They're killing it man, they'redoing this, they're doing that.
Guess what time they get up?
Same time I do four and five inthe morning.
And so we were like, hey, girl,I know it's early, but I just
wanted to send this before Iforgot.
I'm like, hey girl, I'm up andI'm sitting here like, wait,
they're about two, what here?
I am thinking I'm the only oneand I realized that their day is
(18:48):
done at noon or one or whatever, because they've been up since
five o'clock in the morning.
Y'all.
I do some of my best worksitting at the computer when
everyone else in this house isasleep and I get stuff.
I'm like, oh, that's a good one.
Came up with this podcast atfour o'clock in the morning and
I was like, why am I up so early?
Why, because you got work to do.
And by noon, 12, one o'clock,my husband comes home every day
(19:11):
for lunch.
He goes back to work for alittle bit, but it's like, yeah,
day's kind of done.
And I'm realizing as I get intodifferent, different
atmospheres around differentpeople and things like that
y'all their day is done.
When a lot of people are juststarting, like eight, nine,
they're like, yeah, we've got tohave a little like snacky,
(19:32):
snack, we're going to lunch andthen we're going to do whatever.
Hey girl, we gotta go get amassage.
You want to go?
And I'm like this one, no, Ididn't call yeah before I go,
you know, home for the day, homefor the day, and I'm sitting
here looking like they've setthemselves up that it is totally
(19:56):
okay.
They don't apologize forboundaries, they don't apologize
for leaving at 12 o'clock.
What meeting they might have ameeting at 2, 3, maybe.
I know I was fortunate to be on.
I joined ESP Ritzy and I was ona call with I won't mention his
(20:19):
name, I could, but a gentlemanwho is doing really, really well
with ESP and he said to me Iwork probably 12 hours a week.
I'm like what he showed methings like in back office, like
you can make this, you know allthe things.
And I'm sitting here like, tellme what.
He showed me things.
I can back office, like you canmake this, you know all the
(20:40):
things.
And I'm sitting here like, tellme what time you say you're
back, how many hours a week didyou say you're back?
Again, I was like, wait, let mehear it one more time 12, if I
want to, probably about nine,but maybe 12.
A week, not a day a week.
And I was like, and it was like, oh, you know, I get so much of
(21:01):
my time back, so much of mytime in doing that to be able to
spend time with my husband, ourchildren.
My oldest is 25 years old, wehave a 16 year old and a 14 year
old almost 15.
And so I'm looking at it likenow we've got time to go do some
of the things that we didn'tget to do before, right, and so
it's not about oh, I createdthis life.
I get to go hang out with myfriends during the day, because
(21:27):
once my kids get out of school,it's a wrap.
I'm running them all over theplace.
So I'm having to learn that theversion of me that God is
currently building requires resty'all.
She requires it.
That rest gives me clarity andthat clarity allows me to get
(21:47):
space when I need it, where Ineed it.
It doesn't mean that I have tobe consistently available to
everyone all the time, butthat's what I told myself.
My phone goes on do not disturb, I think at nine o'clock, maybe
eight nine.
I have it set automatically andthe people there's numbers that
(22:11):
can come through will comethrough.
The rest, catch you in themorning.
I never used to do that.
Have my phone on, do notdisturb, what?
No, now I absolutely do.
What if I miss something from aclient?
Are you really going to respondto them at 9 o'clock.
I used to 10 o'clock.
They text I'm responding back,not anymore, and I don't
(22:36):
apologize for that because it'sallowing me to sleep where I
used to, not it's allowing me tobe show up better for the
people that I love, for you guys, for my family, for everyone,
because I've gotten rest and I'mbetter for it.
Right, and then the third thing.
(22:56):
Y'all I know you may have heardit before, maybe you haven't
when we talk about speaking lifeover yourself before the world
speaks over you, what does thatmean?
What are you saying to you thatis nice and kind and loving and
(23:19):
nurturing?
I know for me I was sayingloving, kind, nurturing things
to everyone else that I didn'teven say to myself.
I would never give myself a hugor look in the mirror and say I
love you.
I would not say that to me.
But now I've learned that I amjust as deserving of an I love
(23:43):
you for myself as the ones thatI give to everyone else.
Do y'all hear me today?
So I want to encourage you.
I'm going to hold it up becauseI wrote it down.
Look in the mirror, you, I'mtalking to you.
Look in the mirror and say I amworthy of my own care, I am
(24:12):
worthy of kindness.
I am worthy of the investmentin myself.
I choose me because God alreadydid.
Listen y'all, you are worthy ofcaring for you.
(24:34):
You are worthy of pressingtoward all that you want to be.
You are worthy to not apologizefor setting boundaries.
You are worthy to choose you.
(24:55):
You are worthy to choose you,and I get it, y'all.
Sometimes it's so hard to do tosay yes to you because you've
never done it before.
I want to encourage you Start,start today, start now.
(25:20):
I'll never forget the one timethat I told a friend no, y'all,
I felt so bad.
I literally cried.
There are times when sometimesI'm like, oh man, I feel so bad,
but it's like the choice thatyou made was the one you needed
to make, and that's what I tellmyself.
So the choice that you made wasthe one you needed to make.
(25:42):
Move on.
I made the choice because it'sthe one I needed to make.
Did I want to be at that event?
Yes, but I, and I couldn't.
I made the choice that I madebecause it's the one that I
needed to make.
Do y'all hear me?
I made the choice that I madebecause it's the one that I
needed to make, and I don't oweanyone an explanation for that.
You don't either.
You don't owe anyone anexplanation, unless you choose
(26:05):
to give it.
I've made choices and donethings and been like you know.
I want to show up for thatperson, but I also know that my
schedule isn't going to allowfor it.
Did I have anything to do?
Maybe not.
I needed some rest.
I made the choice that I madebecause it's the one that I
needed to make.
Do y'all hear me on today.
(26:27):
Make the choice that you needto make, because it's the one
that you need to make.
Girl, I love that for you.
I'm so excited.
I know it's going to bebeautiful, amazing and awesome,
and although I would love to bethere, I'm not able to.
Is there another way that I cansupport you?
(26:49):
I ask that often how can Isupport you?
I'm not able to attend.
Is there another way that I cansupport you?
Well, no, not really.
That's OK.
Can I pray for you?
And even if I don't say it tothem, I'm praying over the event
or whatever it may be that I'msupporting it, maybe not
(27:10):
physically there, maybe notphysically there.
If I went everywhere, y'all,I'd be everywhere all the time.
So I have to be strategic insaying, okay, I'll be able to
attend this this month,hopefully they'll have something
else, and maybe next month I'llbe able to go there or now I'm
not able to go to anywhere, youknow but in honoring the space
that I'm in and what that lookslike, and I'm encouraging you
(27:33):
today to do the same Y'all.
So, sis, girl to girl, squadsquad squad member to squad
member, please don't wait forthe world to pick you up.
(27:56):
Please don't wait for the wordto pay payout.
Don't wait for the approval,the invitation or the validation
.
Pick you, choose you, love youevery single day.
Did y'all hear what I said?
Sis, please don't wait onsomeone else to pick you, pick
(28:16):
you, choose you, love you,listen to you every single day.
Choose you every day.
You're worthy of that choice.
Choose you every day.
You're worthy of that choice.
You know, the one thing that Irealized is when I choose myself
(28:43):
, I'm teaching my daughters, mycommunity, my friends, that it's
okay for them to choose themtoo.
My daughter the other day waslike my friend is asking me to
go and I do want to hang outwith her, but I feel like my
emotional battery is justdrained.
I said, well, tell her I wouldlove to.
Can we pick another weekend?
Please Choose you, you needsome rest.
(29:06):
And you need rest because whenyou don't get rest, girl, I'll
be like we about done what'sgoing on, like you need rest
because your rest helps ourrelationship.
Do y'all hear me?
Because she chose rest to sayyou know what I need to sleep a
little bit.
Because she chose rest to sayyou know what I need to sleep a
little bit.
She was a better person thisweek, last week, next month,
(29:30):
whenever.
Because she chose herself andthe rest that she knew she
needed, even though she reallydidn't want to.
You know, be with her friend.
I want to hang out with myfriends, all the things right,
I'm that way sometimes too.
Like man, I really want to go,but I'm like you know what?
I just need to sit on, orsitting on this couch.
Do I see that load of laundrymoves on me?
Yes, I do, and right now I needto honor where I am and that's.
(29:53):
I just need to lay here andtake a nap.
Okay, do y'all hear me?
And I'm realizing that I'mteaching them.
It's okay for them to choosethem too, and I love that I was
so proud for deciding.
You know, like, hey, can we doit another weekend?
(30:13):
Okay, so y'all, if this messagespoke to you, I need you to do
me a favor.
I need you to share it withsomebody.
I need you to make sure thatyou hit the subscribe button.
If you're watching this onYouTube, I need you to make sure
that you are sharing it.
This was another sister who youwere sitting watching, not
choosing herself.
Don't be that friend that hearssomething good and doesn't
(30:34):
share it with someone who youknow needs it.
Or maybe they don't need ittoday, maybe they'll need it
next month, maybe you don't knowwhen they'll need it or if they
ever will.
But share it with them becauseyou care enough to say I don't
know when you're going to needthis, but guess what?
Everybody needs to know thatthey can choose themselves.
That's the truth.
There's nothing wrong with youchoosing you at all, and stop
(30:54):
allowing the world, people,whomever, to make you think you
can't.
Hello, hello.
So we are going to do the rapidfire questions.
Hold on, let me find them.
Are they here?
Let's see where they are.
(31:18):
I gotta put my passport in um.
Hold on, hold on, guys, my fatfingers don't, um, okay, hold on
.
All right, here we go.
(31:40):
Let's see what they are.
All right, here are the rapidfire y'all.
Hold on, hold on.
(32:02):
Oh, sorry, alright, here we go.
Alright, okay, um, firstquestion what's one thing that
you choose daily on purpose?
My relationship with the Lord,amen, um, ooh, if, choosing
yourself, had a color, whatcolor would it be?
(32:23):
Red, fiery red, stand out, popout red.
It would be red.
Self-care or soul care.
Ooh, what's your first go-to?
Soul care?
That was a good one.
Listen, my people be coming upwith good stuff.
Soul care, definitely my soul.
(32:44):
I got to be right with the Lordbefore anything else.
Right, I was sitting in a chairand I was like you know what,
lord?
I don't even know if I askedyou to forgive me yesterday and
it was like what'd you do?
I don't really know, but I'msure I did something that did
not align.
So, please, I'm sorry.
One boundary you're proud to beset no, one boundary that I am
(33:09):
proud that I set is a no.
My nay is nay and my yay is yay.
Learning that it's okay for meto say no, that's a boundary,
and it may not seem like a, itis a significant one to me a no,
boundary, and so one word thatmakes you feel powerful purpose,
(33:32):
because I didn't always knowthat I had one, and so purpose
makes me feel powerful.
Um, what's a no that protectedyour peace?
(33:53):
No, I'm just playing.
Um, I know that protected mypeace, um, going to things that
I was invited to when I reallydidn't want to go, learning to
say no and not just going.
(34:15):
So I was like I'm going to gobecause if I don't, they'll have
something to say.
Somebody's going to saysomething, I'm going to be upset
or whatever.
I'm just like you know, I'm notable to go, and so that
protected my peace was because Iwould go, and then I'd just
like you know, I'm not able togo, and so that protected my
peace was because I would go,and then I'd be like why did I
even come?
And you know that internaldialogue was very negative, and
(34:36):
so I would say that I know thatprotected my peace was learning
to say it and win it and standbehind it, and not let people
coax me into going.
Anyway, what's your favoriteway to remind yourself, my
favorite way to remind myselfthat I'm worth it?
Music, I'm going to wait, mylife's just fine.
(34:59):
I ain't going to let nothingget in my way.
Listen, mary J, I'm worth it.
A good Mary J song, I don'tknow and a good I Love Jesus
song makes me feel like I'mworth it.
What scripture do you stand onwhen doubt creeps in?
To everything, there is apurpose, a time To everything.
(35:21):
There is a season, a time andpurpose to everything under the
sun.
So when I'm doubting, you'relike this is the season for this
.
You've got to do it.
You know, um, choosing yourselffeels like sparkles.
I love a good sparkle andrhinestone.
It just makes me feel good thatI'm learning to understand that
(35:42):
I'm worthy of choosing me.
Um, so, and the last one is apurpose knocked on my door today
.
What would it find me doing?
Encouraging all of you to fightfor the best version of you.
That's what I hope it wouldfind me doing anyway.
Um, that's one of the thingsthat truly, truly brings my
heart joy, and that'sencouraging you to fight for the
(36:05):
best version of yourself.
So y'all, listen, stop puttingyourself last.
Understand that you are worthyof being first on the list to
the yes Okay, um, y'all, pleasedo me a favor.
I really and truly I'm lookingfor women to bring on this
podcast.
Dm me a name, please, and thankyou.
(36:27):
If it's you girl, put your namein the box, it don't matter.
I'm looking for women that Idon't know that their story
needs to be heard.
You've heard it and you're like, hey, I think you need to share
it.
Shoulder tap them.
I'll shoulder tap them and say,girl, come here, come on, sis,
let's share your story.
So please send me a name.
Y'all.
If you're listening to this, nomatter where you are, and you
(36:48):
know someone that has a story,please send me a DM on IG or
Facebook, coach Tasha Moore, inMessenger, so that I can have
them on the show.
Y'all, please understand you'reworthy of the yes and you can
choose you every single day.
Y'all, please understand,you're worthy of the yes and you
can choose you every singlething, y'all.
(37:11):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me.
How are we doing with our goals?
I forgot to start like that.
Did we do it?
Are we making our way towardthem?
If we are, we clapping it up.
We clapping it up, we clappingit up.
And if we're not, that's okay.
Clean slate.
Tomorrow's a new day to startagain.
Y'all, have a wonderful rest ofyour week.
Get out there, move, groove,shake and bake.
(37:34):
We are combat ready, alwaysfighting for the best version of
ourselves, because we are soworthy of fighting for us.
Y'all have a good day.
I will see y'all next time.
Bye, bye.
(37:56):
You don't have to abandonanyone to stay true to yourself.
You just have to make room foryou too.
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