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December 9, 2020 • 33 mins

Emotional abuse is a way to control another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate another person. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health. Children often lack the perspective to be able to identify the abusive elements of their emotional relationship with their parents, and it's only in adulthood that they're more able to detect them.

 The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal. ~ Astrid Alauda

 Forms of emotional abuse

  • Ignoring and withholding attention and affection, including the silent treatment
  • Disapproving, dismissing, and condescending looks, comments, behavior
  • Threats of abandonment – physical and/or emotional
  • Invalidation – inability or refusal to acknowledge the child’s feelings or experience
  • Covertly or overtly make you feel in the way and unwanted
  • Blame child for their problems or circumstances
  • Projecting their pain and disappointment onto children
  • Encouraging  overdependence and crushing individuality 
  • Intentionally undermined my ability to take care of myself and reinforced self-doubt
  • Negative comparisons to siblings or peers – creating solid foundation of deficiency
  • Expressions of disgust that emphasize and emphasizes rejection
  • Constant switching from engulfing to ignoring, intrusive to indifferent, depending on  moods


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