August 22, 2023 • 30 mins
Massively Increase Your Net Operating Income™ with The TCO Method™
Andy discusses three toxic personalities and cutting people out of your business and personal life who are holding you back.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Two of the three personality types, right?
(00:02):
Cheap skate and the gossip
tend to dismiss the success of others
as either a sham or as luck,
nepotism, privilege.
It's never about building people up.
[MUSIC]
(00:39):
Welcome to the TCO Method, the only show focused on helping you massively increase your net operating income.
I am Andy McQuade, thank you so much for joining me for today's episode.
And we're going to do something a little different today.
Not that weird, different, really, but today we're not going to talk about
buying stuff for building teams or any of that good stuff.
(01:02):
We're going to talk a little bit about who to avoid in your business.
And I mean, honestly, probably in your personal life, too,
but for the purposes of this particular podcast,
we're going to talk about cutting out the cancer from your life.
And you're not going to put it on a shelf and stare at it.
You're going to do what they do in the hospitals.
(01:24):
You're going to cut that cancer out of your life,
and you're going to put it in an incinerator.
And you're never going to think about it again,
because you don't feel bad for cancer when you cut it out of your body or irradiate it into non-existence.
It's there and it's harming you.
And the only actual response that should ever exist in that circumstance is to get rid of it.
(01:48):
You don't just want to live with cancer in your body.
You don't want to encourage it to grow bigger.
I mean, honestly, you shouldn't even want to get it to begin with.
But I think I'm hard pressed to say with any sort of believability
that everybody doesn't have a cancer in their lives somewhere.
(02:11):
So, you need to identify the worst ones and just get rid of them and not feel bad about it.
Right? Growth is hard.
We've mentioned it in other episodes that as you're growing, as you're finding success,
sometimes people get left behind and it sucks.
But you can't carry people across the finish line.
(02:32):
There's a difference between leaving people behind
and not being able to carry them across the finish line.
And having people who are a cancer in your life that are just bringing you down.
Whether they're bringing you down because they're those people that are constantly saying,
(02:54):
you can't do that, you'll never be successful.
What are you crazy?
Or whether it's the person who is actively seeking to make your life more difficult
to make you less successful?
Well, how do they do that?
Well, there's three main types of people in my opinion.
(03:16):
And this is me completely making this up.
This is not coming from a book.
This is not coming from a magazine.
There's no article on this that I read.
There was just a situation over the weekend that I found out about that just sucked.
But in hindsight, it wasn't really a surprise because this person's a cancer.
We're not going to name names.
(03:37):
We're not going to say what happened or where.
But it annoyed me enough to want to make this episode.
Specifically to discuss this in the hopes that you'll be able to identify these people.
And just keep them out of your circle.
Keep them out of your business.
Keep them out of your life.
Right?
We see it in social media all the time.
(03:57):
All these really successful people or people who are attempting to appear successful or saying.
If you're getting hate, people are saying bad things about you, you're doing something right.
And that's true to an extent.
But that line forms when they're actually somewhere in your business, in your circle,
(04:21):
in your network.
And you need to remove that.
Because nothing good is ever going to happen by leaving it there.
Just because a cancer stops growing,
doesn't mean it's not still a cancer.
There's always a chance that something's going to happen and it's going to start growing again.
If you find a tumor, you cut it out.
(04:46):
And you don't just drop it in from aldehyde and leave it on a shelf.
You definitely don't just leave it in your body.
You take the cancer out of your body and you drop it in an incinerator and you turn it to dust.
And you never look back.
So there's three types of people.
Three personalities, three personality traits
(05:07):
that are super toxic in cancer is that you need to cut out of your existence.
These are people you should not be trying to give a hand up to.
These are people who you should not be attempting to
use or leverage for your own benefit because of their relationships.
These are people you should just avoid.
And it's hard sometimes because you don't always know
(05:31):
who they are until they show their true colors.
But there are hints.
And so in hindsight with this particular person, I should have known better
because of how they talked about other people at the beginning of our relationship.
So the first one I want to talk about is the gossip.
And the gossip loves to be in the middle of drama.
(05:54):
They love to be able to tell stories.
And I don't think that they try to cause drama.
I don't think that they interject to themselves into the middle of situations
to make things worse on purpose.
The gossip likes to feel important.
They like to feel validated.
(06:16):
They like to feel like their opinion matters.
And that what they have to say is important to whoever they're talking to.
They love to say bad things about other people.
Sometimes it's an envy thing.
They love to tear down people who are more successful than them.
They love to tear down people who are doing things
(06:38):
that either they're not willing to do
or that they've been unsuccessful doing.
What it comes down to is generally their envious of that person's success in some way.
And they want to tear them down.
They make it sound like they're doing you a favor.
They make it sound like, well, this person is XYZ.
(07:03):
And in real estate, it's a very small world.
And everybody knows everybody.
So there's a lot of dirt and traffic out there.
You go to a local market and you want to talk to people.
You want to learn about what's going on.
You want to learn about who's trustworthy and who's not.
Who does good business and who doesn't.
(07:23):
And the people you need to avoid are the people who start gossiping.
Because that's what this is.
They start gossiping without being prompted.
As opposed to you engaging them in the conversation and saying,
Hey, tell me about so and so.
What have you heard?
(07:44):
What do you know about their reputation?
How are they to do business with if you've done it yourself?
I don't consider that gossip.
I consider that a business conversation to vet somebody.
Now gossip, the gossip loves to just out of nowhere.
(08:04):
Just say, hey, did you hear about so and so?
And how they screwed XYZ or how they do this?
Or I just think that this is really a smoking mirrors game.
And they suck in their liars.
They're not really successful.
It's all just this or this or this or they're in it for this or they're in it for them themselves.
(08:28):
They actively seek to go out and talk about other people.
And it's never in a positive light.
It's almost always,
can't say never because sometimes gossip will spread good stuff too.
But usually only when they think that they can get something from that person.
So there's a different personality type.
We're going to talk about that sometimes intersects on a Venn diagram.
(08:49):
We're going to have three different circles.
And there's different levels of intersection between the three.
But the gossip loves to offer unsolicited opinions about others.
Typically it's an envy thing I think.
I don't know for sure.
And it's probably different for everybody.
But they also tend to really like
when people agree with them or when they can bring people around to their point of view
(09:14):
and spread that gossip.
It's a vicious circle.
And it's never about good stuff.
It's about how whatever success they've achieved
isn't deserved.
Usually these people
haven't really ever been successful themselves.
And they feel a gap, a lack.
(09:35):
They're not as important as they want to be.
Sometimes it's ego-driven.
Sometimes it's
my ego's the size of Cleveland.
And anybody who
can't see how awesome I am compared to this other person
that I'm bringing up for no particular reason.
If they don't think I'm better than that other guy, then
you know, I'm going to make sure that I do everything in my power to make sure that they know I'm better.
(09:57):
Or that I'm smarter.
Or that I'm more successful.
Or that I'm not that successful because I didn't want to be.
Yeah, no.
That's almost never actually what happens.
Unrelated to the personality conversation.
If somebody is tearing somebody else's success down,
and they're excused for why they're not successful is why I didn't really want to be,
(10:20):
there's something else going on there
that I don't even know how to go into.
That's like some sort of mental illness or something.
Anyway, you need to cut the gossip out of your life.
Because no matter what you say to them,
it's never going to be held in confidence if they can somehow leverage that later to make
themselves look better.
That means there's no trust.
(10:41):
There's no trust.
There's no possibility of a relationship or a business relationship.
Like they've basically by being that gossip, by coming to you and telling stories about
somebody else unsolicited,
that's a huge, huge red flag that it's somebody you don't want to be associated with in business.
But these gossip, they thrive on focusing on all these negative things.
(11:06):
While trying to be something more themselves,
but it's never something good.
It's always from a position of envy, of tearing someone else down,
of making them less, of making their achievements less.
And it can be anything.
It doesn't have to be business.
It can be personal life.
(11:27):
It can be possessions.
It can be whatever.
But instead of looking at somebody and being like, wow, they're super successful.
How did they do that?
I want to be like that.
Or wow, I tried to do that.
And it just didn't work out.
And I don't know why.
Maybe I should ask them what they did.
No, it's, they got lucky.
(11:48):
They didn't really do that.
This isn't really success.
I could have done that, but, no, none of that is okay.
And you don't need it in your life.
You need to remove that cancer from your circle,
just like you would remove a tumor from your body.
The next one that kind of makes me laugh, but is pretty dang true is the cheap skate.
(12:17):
Seemingly, it's unrelated to the gossip completely.
Sometimes there's some overlap, but not always.
But the cheap skate is that person who literally lights their own money on fire and feels good about it.
Not because they're lighting their money on fire on purpose.
But the cheap skate is that person who steps over dollars to pick up pennies.
(12:38):
They see the immediate savings today.
And so they buy that cheapest thing.
They won't pay for other things they should, because they think they can get something as good or better for free.
They're convinced that they know better.
They can do things better than anyone else.
So why should they pay for it?
(12:59):
I love that when I'm talking to somebody about my consulting stuff.
Because they'll ask what I do and how I do it.
And they'll try to pick my brain to get the ideas and the answers for free.
But the cheap skate is that person who brags about how they save $200
by not joining a networking group.
Well, why should I sign up and pay $200 a year for this networking group?
(13:24):
Which, by the way, is pennies.
Why should I pay for this networking group?
When I can go to some of their events for free and do the networking and make the connections and
get some of the education without having to pay for it.
Okay.
You can do that.
Sure.
But two things.
One is you're literally bragging about saving $200.
(13:46):
Right?
I don't understand that.
What the hell is even $200?
I don't even get out of bed for $200.
Why is that a big deal for you?
Why are you making a point to tell us that you're proud of the fact that you didn't pay $200
to join a networking group and you're taking advantage of their events for free?
(14:06):
The other thing is why would I not just care, but why would I want to do business with you
if you're bragging about $200?
Like, number one, this is real estate.
$200 is nothing in real estate.
Nothing.
Number one, it's scarcity mindset.
(14:29):
Number two, you're admitting that you're taking something for free
that you have the option to pay for.
You're saying that it adds some sort of value, right?
Because you want to brag about how you're doing all this stuff and how it's adding value to you,
but you're not paying for it.
Why would I do business with you?
Like, even if I'm networking with you, if you're first thing out of your mouth is,
(14:50):
I'm not going to pay to join because I'm just going to do all this for free and take advantage of it.
I'll never do business with you.
You're basically a piece of garbage podcast@tco-method.com if you want to yell at me
and tell me you're not a piece of garbage, but you're not changing my mind on this, okay?
You're the person who brags about putting in the $5 smoke detector
(15:13):
or using a smoke detector that's 20 years old that doesn't actually work anymore,
that isn't safe for your tenants. And then dismisses when someone says, "Yeah, but that,
you're spending more money than that smoke detector is worth after you put one set of batteries in it."
Like, "What's your time worth? Is it free?"
Like, you're that person.
I know people who won't even talk to someone to do business with them.
(15:37):
If they don't meet them at a high ticket event, well, what is a high ticket event?
Like, one of these events where it's like $1,500, $2,000 to get in the door, right?
These are movers and shakers who don't have time for the tire kickers and the
local free networking events where every minute or hour of their time is literally hundreds or
(16:04):
thousands of dollars in opportunity cost, right? So, why we say if you're going to find a mentor,
make sure that you can add some value to them in exchange for their mentorship.
If you're going to hire a coach, money needs to be changing hands.
No coach, consultant, or mentor with their salt is going to spend more than a little while with you
(16:26):
letting you kick tires. So, there are people out there that just by saying, "Look at me, I got this
for free, are self-disqualifying from being involved in any type of real money-making opportunities."
I'm not saying that as, "Look at me, I'm a multi-millionaire, blah, blah, blah, rebellion
or a zillionaire, Elon Musk, look at me, I'm awesome, I'm not going to invest with you because you're
(16:52):
a pleb." No, that's not what's happening. What's happening is you're allowing your scarcity
mindset to show you're willing to step over dollars to pick up pennies and you're completely blind to
that fact. So, why would I want to involve you in my business opportunities? Why would I want you
(17:14):
in my operation at all? You're the guy or gal that instead of doing things the right way the first time
will fix it for as cheap as possible and hope to God something doesn't happen later that costs more.
You are deferred maintenance. You are the embodiment of deferred maintenance. Put a coat of paint on it
(17:36):
and hope no one notices. Oh, there's mold. Get some kills up shot and just paint it. But it's
going to grow back in the drywall because it's not a marbord. I don't care. Just make it disappear.
You're also the person who's not going to make sure that you're properly insured. You're going to see
(17:57):
an insurance policy come across your desk for your property. And as long as it checks the big boxes,
there's no due diligence bet on making sure that that's the best deal. You're going to shop at
between three or four different places and take the cheapest one. Whether it actually protects you
or not, you're the same person who's going to make sure that all the stuff that you're buying
(18:17):
is the cheapest possible. And if it costs you more in service or whatever, that's not your fault.
That's the vendor's fault. That's this person's fault. That person's fault.
Now, you are literally a dumpster fire to do business with. Chiefsgate is one of the worst
to get in bed with because they won't spend money on educating themselves. They'll try to find
(18:45):
all their information for free. They won't pay for coaching. They won't pay for mentoring. They won't
pay for anything maybe other than a book because I can get this exact knowledge for free on the internet
or I can get this all from a book. Cool. Can you ask that book questions when something goes sideways?
(19:06):
It's not really in the book. Can you talk to a book and get pointers on what might happen
and what steps you can take to avoid things in your specific situation? Your specific circumstances?
No? Huh? That's unfortunate.
(19:27):
The third type, my least favorite probably, is the Viper. I call them the Viper because they'll
get in bed with you and use your body heat to stay warm until you realize what they are
and try to get away from them or until you're not useful to them anymore and then they'll turn on
(19:52):
you and they'll bite you. The Viper is that person who seems like they're going to be your best friend.
They're going to do whatever it takes to get close to you so they can take what they think you have,
what you are offering. Sometimes they'll pay for it, sometimes they won't. The price, the exchange,
(20:13):
isn't necessarily relevant in this instance because they'll try to get what they want from
you and the second you're no longer useful to them or the second they can no longer control you
or the second that you do something that goes against them or their best interests or you don't
(20:36):
share an opinion that they share about something. They turn on you and they strike. These are the people
who will poison the well against you. Sometimes they'll become the gossip where they go from your
greatest supporter to your biggest detractor overnight. They'll talk about you and what you do
(21:00):
and where you go and who you see and what you have and what you've done in the worst possible light.
Not just because it makes them feel better but because they want other people to believe
those things about you. They want to make sure that people know that you are not okay
(21:26):
and that they're better than you. Corporate America is full of fibers because there's always people
who will stand by you and support you to your face that as soon as something happens
even if it was them they'll turn on you and they'll blame you for it. We're not really talking
(21:53):
about that in this instance but that's another valid point to add to the list of bad things about
the Viper. In this instance we're talking about real estate and business and networking and relationships.
And you just have to hope that people know you well enough and think well enough of you
in your network and in your client base to not believe when the Viper comes after you.
(22:20):
They're not going to believe that whatever this person is saying is true because of their
personal experience with you. But this Viper will attempt to poison the well.
They'll do whatever they can through gossip through everything but confrontation
(22:41):
to make sure that people know that you're not a good person. Not trustworthy.
So it goes a little further than the gossip because the gossip is usually motivated out of like envy
the Viper is motivated out of spite envy very very strong dislike hatred is a strong word but I wouldn't
(23:09):
put it past them and it's always because all three of these are bad the Viper and the gossip are
probably the worst honestly because it usually comes from a mirror that you're holding up to them.
When they look at that mirror they're seeing what they're not and so they need to attack it
(23:37):
and tear it down. The gossip is usually not that smart they think they are but they're not
they don't always realize what they're doing when they're gossiping or how they're causing drama.
They just realize that there's drama there and there's some level of excitement or endorphins or
(23:59):
something something is miswired in their brain makes them think that it's a good thing. The Viper
they're typically very smart and they're typically very calculated in what they do and why they do it.
The core base reason for it could be the same right envy anger at not being
(24:25):
acknowledged anger at not getting what they wanted or not being important enough for
not being able to manipulate or whatever but the reality is that they're both out doing the
same thing to people. Now the gossip will just shit on everybody right there that pigeon walking
(24:47):
across the chest board just crapping everywhere and kicking over pieces they don't really care who
they hurt because they'll deny it number one to save face and they're pretty indiscriminate about
who they gossip about nobody's ever as smart as them in their own minds nobody's ever as good as
they are in their own minds so they'll gossip about everyone to everyone and there's no math being
(25:14):
done on their part that things are going to get back to people and two and two is going to make
for it some point that they're the central thing in this right now the Viper Viper is a different
animal because they're very smart and they're very shrewd and they don't do anything by accident.
They also don't back down from confrontation like you call them on their shit and they will double
(25:34):
down true or not they'll do everything in their power to destroy you to make sure that people
realize who won that confrontation. I'm sure there are other personalities out there that you would
want to cut out but these three are really top of mind right now so I want to make sure that
(25:56):
people are listening and you know we've done conversations about how to build your teams and
how to optimize your focus on your own skill sets and bring other people into your circle to offset
your weaknesses instead of trying to just be all things to all people and do everything yourself
(26:18):
the challenge with expanding your network the challenge with making sure that you're not trying
to do everything yourself is that you're going to run into these people and sometimes you don't
find out who they are until after all three of these are cancers and they will drag you down
(26:39):
you become the people you spend the most time with choose the right people if they're Viper's
or Gossip's or Chief Skates you don't need them in your circle if you're ever going to go
anywhere in your life the point of this entire episode partially it lets me vent a little bit
(27:01):
about what happened this weekend that it's really disappointing and sort of should have been more
transparent than it was but reality is that two of the three personality types right Chief Skate
and the gossip tend to dismiss the success of others as either a sham or as luck, nepotism,
(27:32):
privilege it's never about building people up on the surface sometimes they might say nice things
about people because it's expected it's a societal thing right successful people don't tear other people
(27:53):
down step back and really listen to how people talk about each other and how they act when no one
else is looking that's going to be your best indication of who you want to spend your time with
and who you don't because if they're sunshine and rainbows butterflies and lollipops when the spotlight
(28:16):
on them but then when it's just you and them in a room or them and someone else in a room they're
shitting all over everything like that pigeon on a chess board and all those internet memes it's
probably not somebody you really want to do much with anyway now that I've made everybody
really happy and this has been a very positive episode let me tell you I'm done ranting
(28:41):
I would really love it if everybody listening would go to youtube hit that bell and subscribe
even if you don't watch every single episode every person who subscribes helps get this into the
algorithm and into the feed of people who can take advantage of the information that we're sharing
(29:02):
and use it in their day-to-day business and in their lives hopefully same thing if you are listening
in podcast land wherever podcasts are found apple podcast spotify tune in for my listeners in Europe
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(29:26):
every single review every single subscription helps the show i'm not asking for money
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(29:55):
leave a comment if you can and as always email me at podcast at tco method dot com go check out the website
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episode and see you on Thursday
(30:18):
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
Two of the three personality types, right?
(00:02):
Cheap skate and the gossip
tend to dismiss the success of others
as either a sham or as luck,
nepotism, privilege.
It's never about building people up.
[MUSIC]
(00:39):
Welcome to the TCO Method, the only show focused on helping you massively increase your net operating income.
I am Andy McQuade, thank you so much for joining me for today's episode.
And we're going to do something a little different today.
Not that weird, different, really, but today we're not going to talk about
buying stuff for building teams or any of that good stuff.
(01:02):
We're going to talk a little bit about who to avoid in your business.
And I mean, honestly, probably in your personal life, too,
but for the purposes of this particular podcast,
we're going to talk about cutting out the cancer from your life.
And you're not going to put it on a shelf and stare at it.
You're going to do what they do in the hospitals.
(01:24):
You're going to cut that cancer out of your life,
and you're going to put it in an incinerator.
And you're never going to think about it again,
because you don't feel bad for cancer when you cut it out of your body or irradiate it into non-existence.
It's there and it's harming you.
And the only actual response that should ever exist in that circumstance is to get rid of it.
(01:48):
You don't just want to live with cancer in your body.
You don't want to encourage it to grow bigger.
I mean, honestly, you shouldn't even want to get it to begin with.
But I think I'm hard pressed to say with any sort of believability
that everybody doesn't have a cancer in their lives somewhere.
(02:11):
So, you need to identify the worst ones and just get rid of them and not feel bad about it.
Right? Growth is hard.
We've mentioned it in other episodes that as you're growing, as you're finding success,
sometimes people get left behind and it sucks.
But you can't carry people across the finish line.
(02:32):
There's a difference between leaving people behind
and not being able to carry them across the finish line.
And having people who are a cancer in your life that are just bringing you down.
Whether they're bringing you down because they're those people that are constantly saying,
(02:54):
you can't do that, you'll never be successful.
What are you crazy?
Or whether it's the person who is actively seeking to make your life more difficult
to make you less successful?
Well, how do they do that?
Well, there's three main types of people in my opinion.
(03:16):
And this is me completely making this up.
This is not coming from a book.
This is not coming from a magazine.
There's no article on this that I read.
There was just a situation over the weekend that I found out about that just sucked.
But in hindsight, it wasn't really a surprise because this person's a cancer.
We're not going to name names.
(03:37):
We're not going to say what happened or where.
But it annoyed me enough to want to make this episode.
Specifically to discuss this in the hopes that you'll be able to identify these people.
And just keep them out of your circle.
Keep them out of your business.
Keep them out of your life.
Right?
We see it in social media all the time.
(03:57):
All these really successful people or people who are attempting to appear successful or saying.
If you're getting hate, people are saying bad things about you, you're doing something right.
And that's true to an extent.
But that line forms when they're actually somewhere in your business, in your circle,
(04:21):
in your network.
And you need to remove that.
Because nothing good is ever going to happen by leaving it there.
Just because a cancer stops growing,
doesn't mean it's not still a cancer.
There's always a chance that something's going to happen and it's going to start growing again.
If you find a tumor, you cut it out.
(04:46):
And you don't just drop it in from aldehyde and leave it on a shelf.
You definitely don't just leave it in your body.
You take the cancer out of your body and you drop it in an incinerator and you turn it to dust.
And you never look back.
So there's three types of people.
Three personalities, three personality traits
(05:07):
that are super toxic in cancer is that you need to cut out of your existence.
These are people you should not be trying to give a hand up to.
These are people who you should not be attempting to
use or leverage for your own benefit because of their relationships.
These are people you should just avoid.
And it's hard sometimes because you don't always know
(05:31):
who they are until they show their true colors.
But there are hints.
And so in hindsight with this particular person, I should have known better
because of how they talked about other people at the beginning of our relationship.
So the first one I want to talk about is the gossip.
And the gossip loves to be in the middle of drama.
(05:54):
They love to be able to tell stories.
And I don't think that they try to cause drama.
I don't think that they interject to themselves into the middle of situations
to make things worse on purpose.
The gossip likes to feel important.
They like to feel validated.
(06:16):
They like to feel like their opinion matters.
And that what they have to say is important to whoever they're talking to.
They love to say bad things about other people.
Sometimes it's an envy thing.
They love to tear down people who are more successful than them.
They love to tear down people who are doing things
(06:38):
that either they're not willing to do
or that they've been unsuccessful doing.
What it comes down to is generally their envious of that person's success in some way.
And they want to tear them down.
They make it sound like they're doing you a favor.
They make it sound like, well, this person is XYZ.
(07:03):
And in real estate, it's a very small world.
And everybody knows everybody.
So there's a lot of dirt and traffic out there.
You go to a local market and you want to talk to people.
You want to learn about what's going on.
You want to learn about who's trustworthy and who's not.
Who does good business and who doesn't.
(07:23):
And the people you need to avoid are the people who start gossiping.
Because that's what this is.
They start gossiping without being prompted.
As opposed to you engaging them in the conversation and saying,
Hey, tell me about so and so.
What have you heard?
(07:44):
What do you know about their reputation?
How are they to do business with if you've done it yourself?
I don't consider that gossip.
I consider that a business conversation to vet somebody.
Now gossip, the gossip loves to just out of nowhere.
(08:04):
Just say, hey, did you hear about so and so?
And how they screwed XYZ or how they do this?
Or I just think that this is really a smoking mirrors game.
And they suck in their liars.
They're not really successful.
It's all just this or this or this or they're in it for this or they're in it for them themselves.
(08:28):
They actively seek to go out and talk about other people.
And it's never in a positive light.
It's almost always,
can't say never because sometimes gossip will spread good stuff too.
But usually only when they think that they can get something from that person.
So there's a different personality type.
We're going to talk about that sometimes intersects on a Venn diagram.
(08:49):
We're going to have three different circles.
And there's different levels of intersection between the three.
But the gossip loves to offer unsolicited opinions about others.
Typically it's an envy thing I think.
I don't know for sure.
And it's probably different for everybody.
But they also tend to really like
when people agree with them or when they can bring people around to their point of view
(09:14):
and spread that gossip.
It's a vicious circle.
And it's never about good stuff.
It's about how whatever success they've achieved
isn't deserved.
Usually these people
haven't really ever been successful themselves.
And they feel a gap, a lack.
(09:35):
They're not as important as they want to be.
Sometimes it's ego-driven.
Sometimes it's
my ego's the size of Cleveland.
And anybody who
can't see how awesome I am compared to this other person
that I'm bringing up for no particular reason.
If they don't think I'm better than that other guy, then
you know, I'm going to make sure that I do everything in my power to make sure that they know I'm better.
(09:57):
Or that I'm smarter.
Or that I'm more successful.
Or that I'm not that successful because I didn't want to be.
Yeah, no.
That's almost never actually what happens.
Unrelated to the personality conversation.
If somebody is tearing somebody else's success down,
and they're excused for why they're not successful is why I didn't really want to be,
(10:20):
there's something else going on there
that I don't even know how to go into.
That's like some sort of mental illness or something.
Anyway, you need to cut the gossip out of your life.
Because no matter what you say to them,
it's never going to be held in confidence if they can somehow leverage that later to make
themselves look better.
That means there's no trust.
(10:41):
There's no trust.
There's no possibility of a relationship or a business relationship.
Like they've basically by being that gossip, by coming to you and telling stories about
somebody else unsolicited,
that's a huge, huge red flag that it's somebody you don't want to be associated with in business.
But these gossip, they thrive on focusing on all these negative things.
(11:06):
While trying to be something more themselves,
but it's never something good.
It's always from a position of envy, of tearing someone else down,
of making them less, of making their achievements less.
And it can be anything.
It doesn't have to be business.
It can be personal life.
(11:27):
It can be possessions.
It can be whatever.
But instead of looking at somebody and being like, wow, they're super successful.
How did they do that?
I want to be like that.
Or wow, I tried to do that.
And it just didn't work out.
And I don't know why.
Maybe I should ask them what they did.
No, it's, they got lucky.
(11:48):
They didn't really do that.
This isn't really success.
I could have done that, but, no, none of that is okay.
And you don't need it in your life.
You need to remove that cancer from your circle,
just like you would remove a tumor from your body.
The next one that kind of makes me laugh, but is pretty dang true is the cheap skate.
(12:17):
Seemingly, it's unrelated to the gossip completely.
Sometimes there's some overlap, but not always.
But the cheap skate is that person who literally lights their own money on fire and feels good about it.
Not because they're lighting their money on fire on purpose.
But the cheap skate is that person who steps over dollars to pick up pennies.
(12:38):
They see the immediate savings today.
And so they buy that cheapest thing.
They won't pay for other things they should, because they think they can get something as good or better for free.
They're convinced that they know better.
They can do things better than anyone else.
So why should they pay for it?
(12:59):
I love that when I'm talking to somebody about my consulting stuff.
Because they'll ask what I do and how I do it.
And they'll try to pick my brain to get the ideas and the answers for free.
But the cheap skate is that person who brags about how they save $200
by not joining a networking group.
Well, why should I sign up and pay $200 a year for this networking group?
(13:24):
Which, by the way, is pennies.
Why should I pay for this networking group?
When I can go to some of their events for free and do the networking and make the connections and
get some of the education without having to pay for it.
Okay.
You can do that.
Sure.
But two things.
One is you're literally bragging about saving $200.
(13:46):
Right?
I don't understand that.
What the hell is even $200?
I don't even get out of bed for $200.
Why is that a big deal for you?
Why are you making a point to tell us that you're proud of the fact that you didn't pay $200
to join a networking group and you're taking advantage of their events for free?
(14:06):
The other thing is why would I not just care, but why would I want to do business with you
if you're bragging about $200?
Like, number one, this is real estate.
$200 is nothing in real estate.
Nothing.
Number one, it's scarcity mindset.
(14:29):
Number two, you're admitting that you're taking something for free
that you have the option to pay for.
You're saying that it adds some sort of value, right?
Because you want to brag about how you're doing all this stuff and how it's adding value to you,
but you're not paying for it.
Why would I do business with you?
Like, even if I'm networking with you, if you're first thing out of your mouth is,
(14:50):
I'm not going to pay to join because I'm just going to do all this for free and take advantage of it.
I'll never do business with you.
You're basically a piece of garbage podcast@tco-method.com if you want to yell at me
and tell me you're not a piece of garbage, but you're not changing my mind on this, okay?
You're the person who brags about putting in the $5 smoke detector
(15:13):
or using a smoke detector that's 20 years old that doesn't actually work anymore,
that isn't safe for your tenants. And then dismisses when someone says, "Yeah, but that,
you're spending more money than that smoke detector is worth after you put one set of batteries in it."
Like, "What's your time worth? Is it free?"
Like, you're that person.
I know people who won't even talk to someone to do business with them.
(15:37):
If they don't meet them at a high ticket event, well, what is a high ticket event?
Like, one of these events where it's like $1,500, $2,000 to get in the door, right?
These are movers and shakers who don't have time for the tire kickers and the
local free networking events where every minute or hour of their time is literally hundreds or
(16:04):
thousands of dollars in opportunity cost, right? So, why we say if you're going to find a mentor,
make sure that you can add some value to them in exchange for their mentorship.
If you're going to hire a coach, money needs to be changing hands.
No coach, consultant, or mentor with their salt is going to spend more than a little while with you
(16:26):
letting you kick tires. So, there are people out there that just by saying, "Look at me, I got this
for free, are self-disqualifying from being involved in any type of real money-making opportunities."
I'm not saying that as, "Look at me, I'm a multi-millionaire, blah, blah, blah, rebellion
or a zillionaire, Elon Musk, look at me, I'm awesome, I'm not going to invest with you because you're
(16:52):
a pleb." No, that's not what's happening. What's happening is you're allowing your scarcity
mindset to show you're willing to step over dollars to pick up pennies and you're completely blind to
that fact. So, why would I want to involve you in my business opportunities? Why would I want you
(17:14):
in my operation at all? You're the guy or gal that instead of doing things the right way the first time
will fix it for as cheap as possible and hope to God something doesn't happen later that costs more.
You are deferred maintenance. You are the embodiment of deferred maintenance. Put a coat of paint on it
(17:36):
and hope no one notices. Oh, there's mold. Get some kills up shot and just paint it. But it's
going to grow back in the drywall because it's not a marbord. I don't care. Just make it disappear.
You're also the person who's not going to make sure that you're properly insured. You're going to see
(17:57):
an insurance policy come across your desk for your property. And as long as it checks the big boxes,
there's no due diligence bet on making sure that that's the best deal. You're going to shop at
between three or four different places and take the cheapest one. Whether it actually protects you
or not, you're the same person who's going to make sure that all the stuff that you're buying
(18:17):
is the cheapest possible. And if it costs you more in service or whatever, that's not your fault.
That's the vendor's fault. That's this person's fault. That person's fault.
Now, you are literally a dumpster fire to do business with. Chiefsgate is one of the worst
to get in bed with because they won't spend money on educating themselves. They'll try to find
(18:45):
all their information for free. They won't pay for coaching. They won't pay for mentoring. They won't
pay for anything maybe other than a book because I can get this exact knowledge for free on the internet
or I can get this all from a book. Cool. Can you ask that book questions when something goes sideways?
(19:06):
It's not really in the book. Can you talk to a book and get pointers on what might happen
and what steps you can take to avoid things in your specific situation? Your specific circumstances?
No? Huh? That's unfortunate.
(19:27):
The third type, my least favorite probably, is the Viper. I call them the Viper because they'll
get in bed with you and use your body heat to stay warm until you realize what they are
and try to get away from them or until you're not useful to them anymore and then they'll turn on
(19:52):
you and they'll bite you. The Viper is that person who seems like they're going to be your best friend.
They're going to do whatever it takes to get close to you so they can take what they think you have,
what you are offering. Sometimes they'll pay for it, sometimes they won't. The price, the exchange,
(20:13):
isn't necessarily relevant in this instance because they'll try to get what they want from
you and the second you're no longer useful to them or the second they can no longer control you
or the second that you do something that goes against them or their best interests or you don't
(20:36):
share an opinion that they share about something. They turn on you and they strike. These are the people
who will poison the well against you. Sometimes they'll become the gossip where they go from your
greatest supporter to your biggest detractor overnight. They'll talk about you and what you do
(21:00):
and where you go and who you see and what you have and what you've done in the worst possible light.
Not just because it makes them feel better but because they want other people to believe
those things about you. They want to make sure that people know that you are not okay
(21:26):
and that they're better than you. Corporate America is full of fibers because there's always people
who will stand by you and support you to your face that as soon as something happens
even if it was them they'll turn on you and they'll blame you for it. We're not really talking
(21:53):
about that in this instance but that's another valid point to add to the list of bad things about
the Viper. In this instance we're talking about real estate and business and networking and relationships.
And you just have to hope that people know you well enough and think well enough of you
in your network and in your client base to not believe when the Viper comes after you.
(22:20):
They're not going to believe that whatever this person is saying is true because of their
personal experience with you. But this Viper will attempt to poison the well.
They'll do whatever they can through gossip through everything but confrontation
(22:41):
to make sure that people know that you're not a good person. Not trustworthy.
So it goes a little further than the gossip because the gossip is usually motivated out of like envy
the Viper is motivated out of spite envy very very strong dislike hatred is a strong word but I wouldn't
(23:09):
put it past them and it's always because all three of these are bad the Viper and the gossip are
probably the worst honestly because it usually comes from a mirror that you're holding up to them.
When they look at that mirror they're seeing what they're not and so they need to attack it
(23:37):
and tear it down. The gossip is usually not that smart they think they are but they're not
they don't always realize what they're doing when they're gossiping or how they're causing drama.
They just realize that there's drama there and there's some level of excitement or endorphins or
(23:59):
something something is miswired in their brain makes them think that it's a good thing. The Viper
they're typically very smart and they're typically very calculated in what they do and why they do it.
The core base reason for it could be the same right envy anger at not being
(24:25):
acknowledged anger at not getting what they wanted or not being important enough for
not being able to manipulate or whatever but the reality is that they're both out doing the
same thing to people. Now the gossip will just shit on everybody right there that pigeon walking
(24:47):
across the chest board just crapping everywhere and kicking over pieces they don't really care who
they hurt because they'll deny it number one to save face and they're pretty indiscriminate about
who they gossip about nobody's ever as smart as them in their own minds nobody's ever as good as
they are in their own minds so they'll gossip about everyone to everyone and there's no math being
(25:14):
done on their part that things are going to get back to people and two and two is going to make
for it some point that they're the central thing in this right now the Viper Viper is a different
animal because they're very smart and they're very shrewd and they don't do anything by accident.
They also don't back down from confrontation like you call them on their shit and they will double
(25:34):
down true or not they'll do everything in their power to destroy you to make sure that people
realize who won that confrontation. I'm sure there are other personalities out there that you would
want to cut out but these three are really top of mind right now so I want to make sure that
(25:56):
people are listening and you know we've done conversations about how to build your teams and
how to optimize your focus on your own skill sets and bring other people into your circle to offset
your weaknesses instead of trying to just be all things to all people and do everything yourself
(26:18):
the challenge with expanding your network the challenge with making sure that you're not trying
to do everything yourself is that you're going to run into these people and sometimes you don't
find out who they are until after all three of these are cancers and they will drag you down
(26:39):
you become the people you spend the most time with choose the right people if they're Viper's
or Gossip's or Chief Skates you don't need them in your circle if you're ever going to go
anywhere in your life the point of this entire episode partially it lets me vent a little bit
(27:01):
about what happened this weekend that it's really disappointing and sort of should have been more
transparent than it was but reality is that two of the three personality types right Chief Skate
and the gossip tend to dismiss the success of others as either a sham or as luck, nepotism,
(27:32):
privilege it's never about building people up on the surface sometimes they might say nice things
about people because it's expected it's a societal thing right successful people don't tear other people
(27:53):
down step back and really listen to how people talk about each other and how they act when no one
else is looking that's going to be your best indication of who you want to spend your time with
and who you don't because if they're sunshine and rainbows butterflies and lollipops when the spotlight
(28:16):
on them but then when it's just you and them in a room or them and someone else in a room they're
shitting all over everything like that pigeon on a chess board and all those internet memes it's
probably not somebody you really want to do much with anyway now that I've made everybody
really happy and this has been a very positive episode let me tell you I'm done ranting
(28:41):
I would really love it if everybody listening would go to youtube hit that bell and subscribe
even if you don't watch every single episode every person who subscribes helps get this into the
algorithm and into the feed of people who can take advantage of the information that we're sharing
(29:02):
and use it in their day-to-day business and in their lives hopefully same thing if you are listening
in podcast land wherever podcasts are found apple podcast spotify tune in for my listeners in Europe
i heart radio anywhere else that you get your podcasts please subscribe and leave a review
(29:26):
every single review every single subscription helps the show i'm not asking for money
but if you want to give me money i will take it you can go to tco method dot com slash support
and you can throw money my way love you long time but i really really appreciate more than anything
that subscribe that like that follow ring that bell leave that two three four five star review
(29:55):
leave a comment if you can and as always email me at podcast at tco method dot com go check out the website
at tco method dot com thank you so much for listening i hope you got some entertainment out of this
episode and see you on Thursday
(30:18):
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