September 2, 2025 • 28 mins
Ever wondered what truly makes a black tie wedding worth the formality? Caroline Gollner of Volare Planning and Design joins Marco Buenrostro to reveal the stunning reality behind luxury celebrations that many couples overlook.
When guests collectively invest $30,000-$40,000 in formal attire for your wedding, you've created an unspoken contract with them. Caroline breaks down exactly what elements must be present to honor this commitment, from venue selection and floral arrangements to food service and entertainment. With her background spanning broadcast journalism, fine dining, bridal fashion, and interior design, Caroline brings a unique perspective to creating cohesive, sophisticated events that justify the tuxedos and floor-length gowns.
Most refreshingly, this episode dismantles the myth that black tie weddings are only for unlimited budgets. Caroline shares practical strategies for creating formal elegance at various price points, whether you're planning for 300 guests or an intimate gathering of 50. She highlights specific San Antonio and Hill Country venues that naturally complement formal celebrations, while acknowledging the special considerations each location requires.
For couples concerned about guest compliance with dress codes, Caroline offers a masterclass in effective communication strategies, from proper invitation wording to creating visual Pinterest boards that eliminate confusion. She also outlines the entire spectrum of formal dress codes, explaining the subtle but important differences between black tie, black tie preferred, cocktail attire, and semi-formal guidelines.
What sets this conversation apart is the behind-the-scenes wisdom about assembling vendor teams that understand the heightened expectations of formal events. As Caroline notes, "It's all hands on deck to make that event amazing," reinforcing that true luxury comes from seamless, attentive service at every touchpoint.
Follow Caroline's stunning work on Instagram @VolarePlanning or visit volareplanningdesign.com to see why her black tie events consistently exceed expectations. Ready to elevate your wedding vision? This episode is your essential guide to celebration-worthy sophistication.
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Want us to chat with your favorite vendor? We’d love to! Shoot us an email at marco@tipsyguest.com and let us know who you want to hear from! Your top picks could be the stars of our next episode!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Tipsy Guest Podcast.
I am your host, marcoBuenrostro, and every week I'm
here with the top industryexperts, amazing clients and all
my vendor BFFs to bring you thebest tips, advice and juicy
behind-the-scenes stories tomake wedding and event planning
a breeze.
So grab your favorite drink andlet's get this party started.
(00:25):
Hey guys, welcome back to theTipsy Guest.
I am Marco, your host, andtoday I am excited because we're
going to be discussing blacktie weddings, which is
definitely one of my fave, fave,fave ever, and for that we have
an expert Caroline Golder fromVolare Planning and Design.
(00:46):
Hello, hello.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hi, Marco how are you ?
I'm doing great.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Of course, I've been trying to get you to come and do
an episode for the longest time.
I'm fine.
I'm glad that we're finallygetting this done Because, oh my
god, I have to say yourweddings are one of my favorites
in the industry.
Like every time I go throughyour Instagram feed, it feels
like I'm just like going throughmy Pinterest mood board for my
(01:18):
own wedding.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Oh, that's so kind of you.
Thank you so much Of course, ofcourse.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
But talk to me.
I want to know everything aboutyour business.
I mean, how did you get started?
When did you start?
What inspired you to do this?
I mean, again, your stuff isbeautiful, so I want to hear
everything about how you gotstarted.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Oh, that's so nice, Thank you.
You know, Marco, I've sort ofbeen.
I was one of those young peoplethat spent most of their life
trying to figure out what theywanted to be when they grew up.
But I didn't realize that itwas sort of a metamorphosis
happening before my own eyesuntil I came here.
So I started my career inbroadcasting we have that in
(02:02):
common.
Yes, yes.
So I got my degree in broadcastjournalism and I actually
worked at CNN, I worked for Fox,and it didn't take me very long
to realize that I just didn'treally even like the news.
Oh no, so I picked up, I movedto New York City and I was
always interested in fine dining, food and beverage, and I
(02:26):
worked for some prettyprestigious fine dining
restaurants in New York andlearned as much as I could about
fine dining, about wine service, about what is considered fine
dining, what's good.
And then I actually worked inbridal fashion showrooms.
(02:46):
So I learned a lot about bridalgowns, so kind of mixing those
two at the same time, living inNew York and doing and working
two jobs, because it took twojobs to pay the rent.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
But it was great.
And then, of course, post 9-11,because I was living in New
York during 9-11, which reallyages me.
But I moved back to the Southand I was a teacher for almost
10 years.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
I taught.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
English.
So I brought that journalismcareer back in.
But I had this urge like I lovethe kids and I love the people
and I really felt like there waspurpose in what I was doing.
But I missed that creative edgeand so I decided I'm going to
go to interior design school now.
So I went to interior designschool and I liked it a lot, I
(03:35):
learned a lot, and then I gotengaged.
And I planned my own wedding andafter it was over, my husband
said that was pretty good.
I think you need to do this foryour job.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Where was your wedding?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It was in Florida.
It was in St Augustine, Florida.
It was at a Marriott hotel inSt Augustine called the Casa
Monica.
It's very similar to the StAnthony here in San Antonio.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
It's like an to the.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
St Anthony here in San Antonio.
It's like an autographcollection hotel, but it was
built by Henry Flagler and itwas adjacent to a museum where I
had my ceremony.
But it was a beautiful wedding,intimate though that sounds
beautiful.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, so that's how you Okay.
So after your husband said youneed to do this, what was your
first reaction to that?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I was like, okay, you know, not much overhead, you
know I've got nothing to lose.
And I was always a partyplanner.
Anytime anyone was gettingmarried or get having a baby, I
was always like let's have aparty, I'll plan it.
So just sort of happened.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I like that.
That is such a cool.
You know, like I, every time Italk to people, you know clients
, for example, like you know, wedo their weddings.
I mean you do weddings all thetime.
We always at least I always getthat vibe from the couples,
from the, especially the bride,of course.
You know they're like, they'reso into their planning of their
wedding and you know, like, allthe connections that they made
(05:03):
with all the different vendors.
And then you always hear thatlike, oh, I think I want to do
this for a living, I want tostart planning, but it's a lot,
right, I mean, walk me through,uh, I guess, a day in the life
of a wedding planner.
How's?
Because we were discussingearlier.
Like you know, normally here insan antonio or central texas,
the summer is so hot that wedon't have a lot of weddings
(05:24):
happening.
So people think that we, thatwe get a break, but we don't,
right?
No, talk to me about that.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
So wedding seasons in the United States they vary.
But in South Texas we havereally two wedding seasons it's
the spring and it's the fall.
In the Northeast it's thesummer spring and it's the fall.
In the Northeast it's thesummer.
So of course we're not havingweddings past mid-June.
In July and August very rarely.
(05:52):
They start sometimes upmid-September, but the day in
the life of a wedding planner,let's say.
I got up at 4.30 this morningand I have been working ever
since planning fall weddings.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Yeah, I think fall weddings for me are my favorite.
What's your favorite season?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
It's a hard choice.
I do love fall weddings, but Ilove the freshness of spring too
, and it's a toss up, but I lovethe crispness in the air for
the fall.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, do you have a favorite venue here in San
Antonio?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Favorite venue Gosh.
I can't be partial.
There are so many beautifulvenues.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
We like the drama here at the Tipsy Guest.
I do.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You know I love all the, I love the Riverwalk.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
It's timeless.
It's beautiful.
I love the convenience.
I love how it can be.
A destination wedding in sanantonio is a destination wedding
location where people come tohave their destination wedding.
They love the river walk.
We have beautiful hotelsdowntown we do.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You know I me that I live here in san antonio I I
don't go to the downtown area asmuch as I should be going.
I try to avoid it.
I mean, I hate traffic, just ingeneral, but I feel like I
should explore downtown more.
I used to live downtown andthen I got away from downtown
and I don't normally go anymoreunless it's for an event.
(07:20):
But yeah, we do have abeautiful downtown.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
We do.
We have the Riverwalk and I hada wedding recently where the
couple rented one of the cruiseboats, the Rio cruise and that's
how they did their send off andit was the sparklers and there
was this beautiful light behindthe boat and it was just so
exquisite.
I'm thinking where else in theUnited States can you leave on a
river boat like this?
(07:45):
And it was really special.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
See for all of our listeners that are not local to
San Antonio, make sure that youcheck out.
You know all the differentvenues that we have here in San
Antonio.
It's a beautiful place and,like Carolyn was saying, you
know, like the Riverwalk, it'svery unique.
I mean, I can just imagine thephotos and the videos of the
send-offs that you're talkingabout right now, like it's just
(08:09):
something that's going to lookso pretty.
And then the lighting in theRiverwalk like I love the
lighting during the holidays,but even when it's not the
holidays, the lighting downthere at the Riverwalk it's
always so pretty.
I feel like it photographsreally, really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It does.
I can't wait for the gallery tocome back.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yes, okay.
So I mean again, I keepmentioning this because I am a
huge fan of your work and Ialways, again, I always see your
stuff and it's always sostunning.
So, as a company, your brand,your philosophy, what does
Volari?
I want to, I want to hear allabout that.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Well, thank you, um.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
For those of it know me personally, know that I'm,
like, completely obsessed withitaly yeah, I do know that
because I'm always so jealouswhen you're you travel to italy
all the time.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I know people are like why don't you go anywhere
else?
Like why are you always initaly?
And I've tried, it's just.
Every time I go somewhere elseI get disappointed.
I wish I was in Italy.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, no, I mean, I travel a lot and I know every
time I see you out at events, wealways end up talking about
trips.
But yes, italy definitely afave, but talk to me, okay,
sorry, I didn't mean to cut youoff.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
No, no you're fine is Italian and it means to fly,
and when I started this business, of course, I was just coming
out of being a bride myself andjust all in love, and I thought,
oh, that's such a pretty wordfor a wedding business to fly,
because when you're in love, youfeel like you're flying, and so
that's where it comes from.
(09:39):
And there's a famous song too.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
I know you were just singing it right now, before we
started recording.
Being tipsy.
Oh, my goodness, it's all aboutbeing tipsy, all right,
caroline.
So now let's talk about ourmain topic today, which is black
tie weddings.
I mean, I want to knoweverything.
(10:02):
I mean, what are the guidelines?
What's the right etiquette?
I mean, sometimes wedding giftscan be a little complicated and
even if you tell them how todress for your wedding, they
just show up with somethingcompletely different.
I mean, what is the right wayof doing a black tie wedding?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
black tie wedding.
Okay, so first of all, that'sthe main discussion is that the
dress code black tie it mustmatch the actual event.
So we have a lot of couplesthat come to us like, oh, I want
to have a black tie wedding andlike, great, but I'm so excited
, I'd love to help you plan that.
(10:42):
But there are some guidelinesas far as planning the event.
So if you think about the costthat's involved in your guest
purchasing attire for a blacktie wedding, a tuxedo rents for
around $200.
A gown a floor-length gownwhich is black tie attire can
cost to upwards of around $300.
(11:04):
If you have 150 wedding guestsand only 80% of them choose to
buy new or rent new attire,they're investing about $30,000
into your wedding.
If perhaps that extra 20% isthat's maybe wearing something
that they already own, butperhaps they buy shoes, then
they're investing $40,000 intoyour wedding.
(11:25):
So you're requiring your gueststo dress and play a part and
they have expectations that areinvolved.
So it's important for you torecognize that, that they're not
just dressing up for you.
You need to give them a reasonto dress up.
And usually a black tie weddingthe expectations are the venue
(11:47):
it must be an elegant locationan estate, historic building,
something really interesting.
And then you know, invitationsusually are, you know, nice
paper, nice presentation.
Floor arrangements are usuallypretty robust.
The dining it should be aplated entree, sometimes
(12:09):
multi-course, even with wineservice, champagne service, top
shelf, full bar.
You know all those specialdetails.
And then also some guestexperience details too, like
photo booth or even a guestexperience that results in like
a nice favor or gift for theguest.
(12:32):
Usually a show band is asignificant part of the event
too.
But having said all that, youalso you don't have to break the
bank to have a black tiewedding Just because you can't
afford, like all these majorthings that could result into a
wedding that's over $100,000.
(12:53):
You can still have a black tieattire, perhaps by keeping the
guest list short, maybe puttinglarge floor arrangements on
every other table or doing justa single plated entree with
mostly premium brands for thebar with glassware.
There are ways to scale it downbut still get the aesthetic
(13:16):
that you want.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah, I was going to ask that you know about, I guess
, like the average you knowtalking about budget.
So let's say, for example, ifit's a wedding, so what would be
considered?
Let's say, for example, if it'sa wedding, so what would be
considered?
Let's say, for example, a bigwedding, what's the amount of
guests for a big wedding?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Oh, in Texas or the regular world.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I would say in Texas, let's say Texas.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I would say a large wedding to me is 300 guests 300.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Okay, okay, so, more or less based on about 300
guests, what would be an idealbudget for a black tie wedding?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
for 300 guests.
Um, probably over a hundredthousand dollars for for that
amount of guests.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yes, okay, and then let's say, if you want to, you
know, of course, still do ablack tie wedding, but what
would be considered a a verysmall wedding, like an intimate
wedding under 50 people under 50, and what would more or less
what would be the budget forsomething like that, let's say
50 for a black tie wedding under50 um, I believe that you could
do it for around 60 to 75 000.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Okay, all right, if you were smart with your
decisions.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yeah, have you ever done any destination weddings or
do you try to just do weddingshere in San Antonio, the Hill
Country, austin?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Oh, I do weddings mostly in San Antonio, but
definitely in the Hill Countryarea too.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Let's say, for example, the Hill Country.
I know you mentioned right nowthat the venue would really need
to match the vibe.
You know, if you're reallywanting to go for a black tie,
do you think we have somethinghere in the in the area, in the
Hill Country area of San Antonio, austin, that could be
considered a great space for fora black tie wedding?
And you don't have to give me aname, but just do you think we
(15:06):
have that?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I think that I think that we do.
I think that, um, I'm thinkingof a few places that I think
that would be suitable for that,that, what places that I know
that I I've done more black tieevents at.
Um, the mission, lost missionyes, it's very lovely.
I loved lost mission, me too,it's, it's one of.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I loved Lost Mission Me too.
It's one of the venues that youfeel like you're not even here,
like you're not in San Antonio,like it just I don't know.
It just feels so.
That chapel is so pretty.
Yes, I love that one.
I think I've done a couple ofblack tie weddings at the
preserve as well.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yes, the preserve.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I just did a black tie wedding, the preserve yeah,
I, I like the preserve, I, Ipersonally I think I like
working weddings in the in thehill country versus going to
again, going back to downtown.
I love downtown, for you know,if I go as a guest but as a
vendor, I think sometimes it'sharder for us as vendors to do
weddings downtown because of theloading situation, yeah,
parking situation and all ofthat like the whole behind the
(16:06):
scenes for a wedding.
It's a little rough for usvendors, for the guest
experience downtown is amazing,but I feel for us vendors, I
personally I prefer out, like inthe hill country yeah, I've had
some pretty crazy situationswhere florists were trying to
deliver flowers at the saintanthony and couldn't find a
(16:29):
place to park and the roadsblocked.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
and I'm meeting them in the alley and we're unloading
, you know, with the, and I'mtrying to figure out how to get
the alarm off the back door sothe fire alarm and the hope
doesn't go off at the hotel andwe're trying to unload and it's
always hectic downtown and thenyou need an elevator to get up.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
There's always something unexpected happening
downtown, always.
We just had a wedding a fewweeks ago where there was a huge
protest happening at TravisPark and the wedding was at the
saint anthony.
So so you know it was.
It was known that the that theprotest was going to be
(17:10):
happening that day.
So, of course, you know, thewedding planner reached out to
all of us, all the vendors andthey, you know they pretty much
told us like, hey, make sure yougo with enough time, be
prepared, because there's goingto be a lot of people at the
park.
You know there's going to bethis going on, blah, blah, blah.
But but yeah, these are thingsthat you know happen.
Or construction, I mean there'salways construction downtown so
(17:31):
so it's a little challengingsometimes.
But, um, but again, the venuesdowntown lovely, and I feel like
we do have a lot of differentoptions downtown for for black
tie events.
Uh, I have to say the saintanthony has to be one of my
favorite venues when it comes toblack tie.
I mean the peacock alley at thesaint anthony, it's just
beautiful.
(17:51):
I mean the chandeliers, likeeverything is just stunning it's
so elegant.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yes, I agree yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
So now question when it comes to the vendors.
Right now that we're talkingabout vendors, what are the
expectations for vendors when itcomes to a black tie event?
What's the attire for them?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
That's a really good question.
One of the details that Iexplain to couples is you really
have to have, just in general,a very professional vendor team,
a very welcoming and helpfulvendor team, not a vendor that
says, okay, well, that's not myjob, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I mean your job is customer service and all those
guests don't know what your jobis.
They just know that you'reworking that day and that you're
helping and so it's all handson deck to make that event
amazing for that couple.
So I think it's just being onboard and giving it your all and
(18:53):
dressing professionally.
On board and giving it your alland dressing professionally.
I tell couples all the time youhave to hire professional
vendors.
One of the things that I thinkpeople would be disappointed
about if they were asked todress in black tie is if they
came to an event and thereweren't professional vendors.
Or maybe the DJ acted like hedidn't really know what he was
(19:14):
doing, or maybe there was noteam welcoming guests or no
wedding planner, no one reallyin charge.
Those are all very importantdetails.
The vendor team is a huge partof the event.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah, I mean we got to communicate with each other,
like you said.
Right now, you know, saying it'snot my job, it's just not the
way to go.
Mean, I've been at weddingswhere you know things are
running behind and and and theflorist is arriving and or the
dj setting up, or I don't know,I can't think of a specific
example but it's like, hey, ifI'm already done with my setup
(19:47):
and if I'm just there, I'mwilling to help, like I've.
I've been in that situationwhere, like I see people still
setting up, well, you knowguests are about to arrive and
you know I always tell in thatsituation where, like I see
people still setting up, well,you know guests are about to
arrive and you know I alwaystell my team I'm, like you know,
be be a team player.
You know, like, if you seesomebody bringing in flowers or
somebody doing this or somebodydoing that, offer to help, you
know if we're already done withour setups, offer to help, you
(20:08):
know, like it's, because, whoknows, we might need it, we
might need some help sometimetoo, On Advent Day.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
there's always help needed.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
No, seriously, like it's always, you know things, of
course you guys, you know youhave a timeline that you have to
go, based off, but you knowthings happen and you know you
might be running late or youknow things can be just.
I mean, it's a stressful dayjust in general For us.
Of course we try to not make itstressful for the couple, you
(20:37):
know, for the guests, for thepeople that are coming to the
party, but you know, sometimesthings happen.
Have you ever had now, this ismy favorite part of the episode
because I want to hear the juicystuff here have you ever had
you know're, obviously you'redoing a black tie wedding and
have you ever had a situationwhere somebody shows up and
(20:58):
they're really not dressedaccordingly?
And if you have, what happened?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
it happens every single time, and I think that's
why couples are worried whenthey have a certain dress code.
They're worried that someonewill show up, and it's just
inevitable.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Um has there ever been like drama where, like the
bride or the couple, they'relike no, we can't let them in
because they're not?
I mean, everybody's wearingblack and they're wearing like
red, or you know?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
no, I think it would be even worse.
It would be not very gracious.
They obviously missed the memoand you wouldn't want to
embarrass them.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
And I think they're already feeling bad enough by
looking around and seeing whateveryone else is wearing, and
they like, darn it.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah, I just, I feel like, for example, with you know
, like, at least you know, likethe, you know, my, my, my family
, you know like I, you know likeI don't think like my sister,
for example, like she wouldnever do a black tie wedding.
Or you know like my brotherwouldn't do a black tie wedding
because I know, you know us asmexicans, we normally don't care
.
I, I'm a vent, you know, I'm awedding vendor, so I know that
(22:04):
you need to respect certainthings.
But like, for example and thisis a, this is a great example
like with my, my, my sister,when she had uh, the sweet uh 16
for my niece, you know, myniece wanted it a certain way,
oh, but then my sister was like,you know, we can't ask people
to dress a certain way becausewe, you know, mexicans, don't
care, we don't care, we're justgonna show up however, we want
(22:25):
to show up.
So my niece was all like, ohman, like I really wanted a
certain way.
But my sister was like, no, Iknow my people and they're not
going to respect it.
But in a way, I guess, like thisis a two person job, you know,
like as a couple, yeah, you know, obviously you know your crowd.
So in advance you already knowwhat you're getting yourself
into.
Have you ever had anydiscussions, you know, with your
(22:47):
couples to where, like, theywanted to go a certain route.
Let's say, for example, in thiscase, black tie.
But then there's, like you know, the bride wants something, the
groom wants something different.
Have you ever encountered likewhere they're deciding if they
wanted to black tie or not?
Speaker 2 (23:01):
really uh, different.
It's in opinions in that regard.
Usually they're on the sameboard.
But I I have had couplesworried like well, people know
what to dress and there areseveral ways that you can catch
guests.
First of all, black tie needsto be written in the lower right
corner on the weddinginvitation that goes out, so
(23:23):
it's given to them by hand, theyreceive it in the mail and they
see it on the invitation.
So that's the first connectionwith the expectation.
Then, usually on a receptioncard we'll have the wedding
website address.
People will go because theyhave to RSVP.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
So on that RSVP page we usually suggest let's have it
there written again, just incase people forget, they can see
it again when they RSVP.
Now people are even getting socreative where they are making
like pinterest boards of andthey send them out.
(23:59):
Yes, or they.
They put it on the weddingwebsite under the frequent asked
question section.
On their wedding website theylist the question what is the
dress code or what should I wear, and we can put a p Pinterest
link where people can click andsee okay, these are the types of
clothes that I should bewearing.
(24:21):
So they understand.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I think that is one of my favorite things, just in
general, because I'm a visualperson.
So yeah, when people say like,oh, it's black tie or it's
cocktail attire or it's, youknow, business, professional or
you know, sometimes people don'treally have an idea what that
even means right, I thinkincluding a link to a pinterest
mood board.
I think that is.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
That is such a cool idea, just to make their life
easier when they're selectingtheir attire right I had a bride
once tell me oh, I want to doblack tie because I'm just
worried someone's going to wearjeans.
And I said, well, dear, thereare several other dress codes
(25:02):
that are between black tie andcasual, and this is what they
are.
So there are a few others Ifyou're like.
Well, you know, I think I'dlike for my wedding to be formal
, but I don't want to requiresomeone to have to rent a tuxedo
or someone to have to wear afloor length gown.
I want to give a little morefreedom with the attire.
(25:23):
You can do what's called blacktie preferred, also known as
black tie optional, but I kindof prefer black tie preferred.
That means that you prefer foreveryone to wear a black tie,
but it's not a must.
It's not a requirement.
If you just did not get achance to go and get fit for a
tuxedo, but you have a lovelydark suit in the closet that you
(25:46):
wear to all of your weddings,it is welcomed.
Also, ladies can wear acocktail dress, a midi or
knee-length cocktail dress.
Every lady has a little blackdress.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
So if they also did not get a chance to go shopping,
they have something.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
It's acceptable, yeah , okay.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
It's acceptable.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
I like that.
You know, I learned a fewthings today.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
And then you have cocktail attire, which is very
similar to semi-formal, but itjust eliminates the black tie
altogether.
So gentlemen, other than thosethat are in the wedding party,
are not required to wear atuxedo, or it's not even
suggested.
And ladies have a little morefreedom in the attire they are
(26:27):
not required to wear afloor-length gown, but they are
required to wear a cocktaildress.
And then for the more, I guessnot casual but less formal,
would be what's calledsemi-formal, and those events
usually start in the daytime.
So gentlemen can wear a sportcoat or a light colored suit,
(26:49):
ladies can even wear like adressy pantsuit or a nice skirt
or a pretty dress that theymight wear to church.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
I love it.
Thank you so much, Caroline.
We are running out of time.
I learned a lot today.
I am obsessed.
I'm going to go look up blacktie mood boards now, but OK.
So I want you to tell ourlisteners where they can find
you.
I want them to see your work.
Maybe somebody wants to get incontact with you.
How can they reach out to you?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Thank you.
We're on Instagram at ValariePlanning and our website address
is valarieplanningcom.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Perfect.
There you have it, guys.
Thank you so much again.
I'm so excited that you finallywere able to make it out to us,
and I'm sure our listeners aregoing to be so excited to hear
everything black tie related.
Thank you so much, caroline.
Thank you All right, guys.
There you have it.
We'll see you next week.
Thank you, thanks for listeningto the Tipsy Guest podcast.
(27:48):
If you know someone who couldbenefit from these tips, spread
the love and share it with them.
Don't forget to subscribe andleave a review.
Next round's on us, same time,same place Cheers.
This podcast is brought to youby MBP Photo Booth, the number
one photo booth rental companyin San Antonio, austin and
(28:10):
Central Texas.
Welcome to the Tipsy Guest Podcast.
I am your host, marcoBuenrostro, and every week I'm
here with the top industryexperts, amazing clients and all
my vendor BFFs to bring you thebest tips, advice and juicy
behind-the-scenes stories tomake wedding and event planning
a breeze.
So grab your favorite drink andlet's get this party started.
(00:25):
Hey guys, welcome back to theTipsy Guest.
I am Marco, your host, andtoday I am excited because we're
going to be discussing blacktie weddings, which is
definitely one of my fave, fave,fave ever, and for that we have
an expert Caroline Golder fromVolare Planning and Design.
(00:46):
Hello, hello.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hi, Marco how are you ?
I'm doing great.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Of course, I've been trying to get you to come and do
an episode for the longest time.
I'm fine.
I'm glad that we're finallygetting this done Because, oh my
god, I have to say yourweddings are one of my favorites
in the industry.
Like every time I go throughyour Instagram feed, it feels
like I'm just like going throughmy Pinterest mood board for my
(01:18):
own wedding.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Oh, that's so kind of you.
Thank you so much Of course, ofcourse.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
But talk to me.
I want to know everything aboutyour business.
I mean, how did you get started?
When did you start?
What inspired you to do this?
I mean, again, your stuff isbeautiful, so I want to hear
everything about how you gotstarted.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Oh, that's so nice, Thank you.
You know, Marco, I've sort ofbeen.
I was one of those young peoplethat spent most of their life
trying to figure out what theywanted to be when they grew up.
But I didn't realize that itwas sort of a metamorphosis
happening before my own eyesuntil I came here.
So I started my career inbroadcasting we have that in
(02:02):
common.
Yes, yes.
So I got my degree in broadcastjournalism and I actually
worked at CNN, I worked for Fox,and it didn't take me very long
to realize that I just didn'treally even like the news.
Oh no, so I picked up, I movedto New York City and I was
always interested in fine dining, food and beverage, and I
(02:26):
worked for some prettyprestigious fine dining
restaurants in New York andlearned as much as I could about
fine dining, about wine service, about what is considered fine
dining, what's good.
And then I actually worked inbridal fashion showrooms.
(02:46):
So I learned a lot about bridalgowns, so kind of mixing those
two at the same time, living inNew York and doing and working
two jobs, because it took twojobs to pay the rent.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
But it was great.
And then, of course, post 9-11,because I was living in New
York during 9-11, which reallyages me.
But I moved back to the Southand I was a teacher for almost
10 years.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
I taught.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
English.
So I brought that journalismcareer back in.
But I had this urge like I lovethe kids and I love the people
and I really felt like there waspurpose in what I was doing.
But I missed that creative edgeand so I decided I'm going to
go to interior design school now.
So I went to interior designschool and I liked it a lot, I
(03:35):
learned a lot, and then I gotengaged.
And I planned my own wedding andafter it was over, my husband
said that was pretty good.
I think you need to do this foryour job.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Where was your wedding?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
It was in Florida.
It was in St Augustine, Florida.
It was at a Marriott hotel inSt Augustine called the Casa
Monica.
It's very similar to the StAnthony here in San Antonio.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
It's like an to the.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
St Anthony here in San Antonio.
It's like an autographcollection hotel, but it was
built by Henry Flagler and itwas adjacent to a museum where I
had my ceremony.
But it was a beautiful wedding,intimate though that sounds
beautiful.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, so that's how you Okay.
So after your husband said youneed to do this, what was your
first reaction to that?
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I was like, okay, you know, not much overhead, you
know I've got nothing to lose.
And I was always a partyplanner.
Anytime anyone was gettingmarried or get having a baby, I
was always like let's have aparty, I'll plan it.
So just sort of happened.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I like that.
That is such a cool.
You know, like I, every time Italk to people, you know clients
, for example, like you know, wedo their weddings.
I mean you do weddings all thetime.
We always at least I always getthat vibe from the couples,
from the, especially the bride,of course.
You know they're like, they'reso into their planning of their
wedding and you know, like, allthe connections that they made
(05:03):
with all the different vendors.
And then you always hear thatlike, oh, I think I want to do
this for a living, I want tostart planning, but it's a lot,
right, I mean, walk me through,uh, I guess, a day in the life
of a wedding planner.
How's?
Because we were discussingearlier.
Like you know, normally here insan antonio or central texas,
the summer is so hot that wedon't have a lot of weddings
(05:24):
happening.
So people think that we, thatwe get a break, but we don't,
right?
No, talk to me about that.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
So wedding seasons in the United States they vary.
But in South Texas we havereally two wedding seasons it's
the spring and it's the fall.
In the Northeast it's thesummer spring and it's the fall.
In the Northeast it's thesummer.
So of course we're not havingweddings past mid-June.
In July and August very rarely.
(05:52):
They start sometimes upmid-September, but the day in
the life of a wedding planner,let's say.
I got up at 4.30 this morningand I have been working ever
since planning fall weddings.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Yeah, I think fall weddings for me are my favorite.
What's your favorite season?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
It's a hard choice.
I do love fall weddings, but Ilove the freshness of spring too
, and it's a toss up, but I lovethe crispness in the air for
the fall.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, do you have a favorite venue here in San
Antonio?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Favorite venue Gosh.
I can't be partial.
There are so many beautifulvenues.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
We like the drama here at the Tipsy Guest.
I do.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You know I love all the, I love the Riverwalk.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
It's timeless.
It's beautiful.
I love the convenience.
I love how it can be.
A destination wedding in sanantonio is a destination wedding
location where people come tohave their destination wedding.
They love the river walk.
We have beautiful hotelsdowntown we do.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You know I me that I live here in san antonio I I
don't go to the downtown area asmuch as I should be going.
I try to avoid it.
I mean, I hate traffic, just ingeneral, but I feel like I
should explore downtown more.
I used to live downtown andthen I got away from downtown
and I don't normally go anymoreunless it's for an event.
(07:20):
But yeah, we do have abeautiful downtown.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
We do.
We have the Riverwalk and I hada wedding recently where the
couple rented one of the cruiseboats, the Rio cruise and that's
how they did their send off andit was the sparklers and there
was this beautiful light behindthe boat and it was just so
exquisite.
I'm thinking where else in theUnited States can you leave on a
river boat like this?
(07:45):
And it was really special.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
See for all of our listeners that are not local to
San Antonio, make sure that youcheck out.
You know all the differentvenues that we have here in San
Antonio.
It's a beautiful place and,like Carolyn was saying, you
know, like the Riverwalk, it'svery unique.
I mean, I can just imagine thephotos and the videos of the
send-offs that you're talkingabout right now, like it's just
(08:09):
something that's going to lookso pretty.
And then the lighting in theRiverwalk like I love the
lighting during the holidays,but even when it's not the
holidays, the lighting downthere at the Riverwalk it's
always so pretty.
I feel like it photographsreally, really beautiful.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It does.
I can't wait for the gallery tocome back.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yes, okay.
So I mean again, I keepmentioning this because I am a
huge fan of your work and Ialways, again, I always see your
stuff and it's always sostunning.
So, as a company, your brand,your philosophy, what does
Volari?
I want to, I want to hear allabout that.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Well, thank you, um.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
For those of it know me personally, know that I'm,
like, completely obsessed withitaly yeah, I do know that
because I'm always so jealouswhen you're you travel to italy
all the time.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I know people are like why don't you go anywhere
else?
Like why are you always initaly?
And I've tried, it's just.
Every time I go somewhere elseI get disappointed.
I wish I was in Italy.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, no, I mean, I travel a lot and I know every
time I see you out at events, wealways end up talking about
trips.
But yes, italy definitely afave, but talk to me, okay,
sorry, I didn't mean to cut youoff.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
No, no you're fine is Italian and it means to fly,
and when I started this business, of course, I was just coming
out of being a bride myself andjust all in love, and I thought,
oh, that's such a pretty wordfor a wedding business to fly,
because when you're in love, youfeel like you're flying, and so
that's where it comes from.
(09:39):
And there's a famous song too.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
I know you were just singing it right now, before we
started recording.
Being tipsy.
Oh, my goodness, it's all aboutbeing tipsy, all right,
caroline.
So now let's talk about ourmain topic today, which is black
tie weddings.
I mean, I want to knoweverything.
(10:02):
I mean, what are the guidelines?
What's the right etiquette?
I mean, sometimes wedding giftscan be a little complicated and
even if you tell them how todress for your wedding, they
just show up with somethingcompletely different.
I mean, what is the right wayof doing a black tie wedding?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
black tie wedding.
Okay, so first of all, that'sthe main discussion is that the
dress code black tie it mustmatch the actual event.
So we have a lot of couplesthat come to us like, oh, I want
to have a black tie wedding andlike, great, but I'm so excited
, I'd love to help you plan that.
(10:42):
But there are some guidelinesas far as planning the event.
So if you think about the costthat's involved in your guest
purchasing attire for a blacktie wedding, a tuxedo rents for
around $200.
A gown a floor-length gownwhich is black tie attire can
cost to upwards of around $300.
(11:04):
If you have 150 wedding guestsand only 80% of them choose to
buy new or rent new attire,they're investing about $30,000
into your wedding.
If perhaps that extra 20% isthat's maybe wearing something
that they already own, butperhaps they buy shoes, then
they're investing $40,000 intoyour wedding.
(11:25):
So you're requiring your gueststo dress and play a part and
they have expectations that areinvolved.
So it's important for you torecognize that, that they're not
just dressing up for you.
You need to give them a reasonto dress up.
And usually a black tie weddingthe expectations are the venue
(11:47):
it must be an elegant locationan estate, historic building,
something really interesting.
And then you know, invitationsusually are, you know, nice
paper, nice presentation.
Floor arrangements are usuallypretty robust.
The dining it should be aplated entree, sometimes
(12:09):
multi-course, even with wineservice, champagne service, top
shelf, full bar.
You know all those specialdetails.
And then also some guestexperience details too, like
photo booth or even a guestexperience that results in like
a nice favor or gift for theguest.
(12:32):
Usually a show band is asignificant part of the event
too.
But having said all that, youalso you don't have to break the
bank to have a black tiewedding Just because you can't
afford, like all these majorthings that could result into a
wedding that's over $100,000.
(12:53):
You can still have a black tieattire, perhaps by keeping the
guest list short, maybe puttinglarge floor arrangements on
every other table or doing justa single plated entree with
mostly premium brands for thebar with glassware.
There are ways to scale it downbut still get the aesthetic
(13:16):
that you want.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yeah, I was going to ask that you know about, I guess
, like the average you knowtalking about budget.
So let's say, for example, ifit's a wedding, so what would be
considered?
Let's say, for example, if it'sa wedding, so what would be
considered?
Let's say, for example, a bigwedding, what's the amount of
guests for a big wedding?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Oh, in Texas or the regular world.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I would say in Texas, let's say Texas.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I would say a large wedding to me is 300 guests 300.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Okay, okay, so, more or less based on about 300
guests, what would be an idealbudget for a black tie wedding?
Speaker 2 (13:50):
for 300 guests.
Um, probably over a hundredthousand dollars for for that
amount of guests.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yes, okay, and then let's say, if you want to, you
know, of course, still do ablack tie wedding, but what
would be considered a a verysmall wedding, like an intimate
wedding under 50 people under 50, and what would more or less
what would be the budget forsomething like that, let's say
50 for a black tie wedding under50 um, I believe that you could
do it for around 60 to 75 000.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Okay, all right, if you were smart with your
decisions.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yeah, have you ever done any destination weddings or
do you try to just do weddingshere in San Antonio, the Hill
Country, austin?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Oh, I do weddings mostly in San Antonio, but
definitely in the Hill Countryarea too.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Let's say, for example, the Hill Country.
I know you mentioned right nowthat the venue would really need
to match the vibe.
You know, if you're reallywanting to go for a black tie,
do you think we have somethinghere in the in the area, in the
Hill Country area of San Antonio, austin, that could be
considered a great space for fora black tie wedding?
And you don't have to give me aname, but just do you think we
(15:06):
have that?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I think that I think that we do.
I think that, um, I'm thinkingof a few places that I think
that would be suitable for that,that, what places that I know
that I I've done more black tieevents at.
Um, the mission, lost missionyes, it's very lovely.
I loved lost mission, me too,it's, it's one of.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I loved Lost Mission Me too.
It's one of the venues that youfeel like you're not even here,
like you're not in San Antonio,like it just I don't know.
It just feels so.
That chapel is so pretty.
Yes, I love that one.
I think I've done a couple ofblack tie weddings at the
preserve as well.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yes, the preserve.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I just did a black tie wedding, the preserve yeah,
I, I like the preserve, I, Ipersonally I think I like
working weddings in the in thehill country versus going to
again, going back to downtown.
I love downtown, for you know,if I go as a guest but as a
vendor, I think sometimes it'sharder for us as vendors to do
weddings downtown because of theloading situation, yeah,
parking situation and all ofthat like the whole behind the
(16:06):
scenes for a wedding.
It's a little rough for usvendors, for the guest
experience downtown is amazing,but I feel for us vendors, I
personally I prefer out, like inthe hill country yeah, I've had
some pretty crazy situationswhere florists were trying to
deliver flowers at the saintanthony and couldn't find a
(16:29):
place to park and the roadsblocked.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
and I'm meeting them in the alley and we're unloading
, you know, with the, and I'mtrying to figure out how to get
the alarm off the back door sothe fire alarm and the hope
doesn't go off at the hotel andwe're trying to unload and it's
always hectic downtown and thenyou need an elevator to get up.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
There's always something unexpected happening
downtown, always.
We just had a wedding a fewweeks ago where there was a huge
protest happening at TravisPark and the wedding was at the
saint anthony.
So so you know it was.
It was known that the that theprotest was going to be
(17:10):
happening that day.
So, of course, you know, thewedding planner reached out to
all of us, all the vendors andthey, you know they pretty much
told us like, hey, make sure yougo with enough time, be
prepared, because there's goingto be a lot of people at the
park.
You know there's going to bethis going on, blah, blah, blah.
But but yeah, these are thingsthat you know happen.
Or construction, I mean there'salways construction downtown so
(17:31):
so it's a little challengingsometimes.
But, um, but again, the venuesdowntown lovely, and I feel like
we do have a lot of differentoptions downtown for for black
tie events.
Uh, I have to say the saintanthony has to be one of my
favorite venues when it comes toblack tie.
I mean the peacock alley at thesaint anthony, it's just
beautiful.
(17:51):
I mean the chandeliers, likeeverything is just stunning it's
so elegant.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yes, I agree yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
So now question when it comes to the vendors.
Right now that we're talkingabout vendors, what are the
expectations for vendors when itcomes to a black tie event?
What's the attire for them?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
That's a really good question.
One of the details that Iexplain to couples is you really
have to have, just in general,a very professional vendor team,
a very welcoming and helpfulvendor team, not a vendor that
says, okay, well, that's not myjob, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I mean your job is customer service and all those
guests don't know what your jobis.
They just know that you'reworking that day and that you're
helping and so it's all handson deck to make that event
amazing for that couple.
So I think it's just being onboard and giving it your all and
(18:53):
dressing professionally.
On board and giving it your alland dressing professionally.
I tell couples all the time youhave to hire professional
vendors.
One of the things that I thinkpeople would be disappointed
about if they were asked todress in black tie is if they
came to an event and thereweren't professional vendors.
Or maybe the DJ acted like hedidn't really know what he was
(19:14):
doing, or maybe there was noteam welcoming guests or no
wedding planner, no one reallyin charge.
Those are all very importantdetails.
The vendor team is a huge partof the event.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah, I mean we got to communicate with each other,
like you said.
Right now, you know, saying it'snot my job, it's just not the
way to go.
Mean, I've been at weddingswhere you know things are
running behind and and and theflorist is arriving and or the
dj setting up, or I don't know,I can't think of a specific
example but it's like, hey, ifI'm already done with my setup
(19:47):
and if I'm just there, I'mwilling to help, like I've.
I've been in that situationwhere, like I see people still
setting up, well, you knowguests are about to arrive and
you know I always tell in thatsituation where, like I see
people still setting up, well,you know guests are about to
arrive and you know I alwaystell my team I'm, like you know,
be be a team player.
You know, like, if you seesomebody bringing in flowers or
somebody doing this or somebodydoing that, offer to help, you
know if we're already done withour setups, offer to help, you
(20:08):
know, like it's, because, whoknows, we might need it, we
might need some help sometimetoo, On Advent Day.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
there's always help needed.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
No, seriously, like it's always, you know things, of
course you guys, you know youhave a timeline that you have to
go, based off, but you knowthings happen and you know you
might be running late or youknow things can be just.
I mean, it's a stressful dayjust in general For us.
Of course we try to not make itstressful for the couple, you
(20:37):
know, for the guests, for thepeople that are coming to the
party, but you know, sometimesthings happen.
Have you ever had now, this ismy favorite part of the episode
because I want to hear the juicystuff here have you ever had
you know're, obviously you'redoing a black tie wedding and
have you ever had a situationwhere somebody shows up and
(20:58):
they're really not dressedaccordingly?
And if you have, what happened?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
it happens every single time, and I think that's
why couples are worried whenthey have a certain dress code.
They're worried that someonewill show up, and it's just
inevitable.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Um has there ever been like drama where, like the
bride or the couple, they'relike no, we can't let them in
because they're not?
I mean, everybody's wearingblack and they're wearing like
red, or you know?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
no, I think it would be even worse.
It would be not very gracious.
They obviously missed the memoand you wouldn't want to
embarrass them.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
And I think they're already feeling bad enough by
looking around and seeing whateveryone else is wearing, and
they like, darn it.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah, I just, I feel like, for example, with you know
, like, at least you know, likethe, you know, my, my, my family
, you know like I, you know likeI don't think like my sister,
for example, like she wouldnever do a black tie wedding.
Or you know like my brotherwouldn't do a black tie wedding
because I know, you know us asmexicans, we normally don't care
.
I, I'm a vent, you know, I'm awedding vendor, so I know that
(22:04):
you need to respect certainthings.
But like, for example and thisis a, this is a great example
like with my, my, my sister,when she had uh, the sweet uh 16
for my niece, you know, myniece wanted it a certain way,
oh, but then my sister was like,you know, we can't ask people
to dress a certain way becausewe, you know, mexicans, don't
care, we don't care, we're justgonna show up however, we want
(22:25):
to show up.
So my niece was all like, ohman, like I really wanted a
certain way.
But my sister was like, no, Iknow my people and they're not
going to respect it.
But in a way, I guess, like thisis a two person job, you know,
like as a couple, yeah, you know, obviously you know your crowd.
So in advance you already knowwhat you're getting yourself
into.
Have you ever had anydiscussions, you know, with your
(22:47):
couples to where, like, theywanted to go a certain route.
Let's say, for example, in thiscase, black tie.
But then there's, like you know, the bride wants something, the
groom wants something different.
Have you ever encountered likewhere they're deciding if they
wanted to black tie or not?
Speaker 2 (23:01):
really uh, different.
It's in opinions in that regard.
Usually they're on the sameboard.
But I I have had couplesworried like well, people know
what to dress and there areseveral ways that you can catch
guests.
First of all, black tie needsto be written in the lower right
corner on the weddinginvitation that goes out, so
(23:23):
it's given to them by hand, theyreceive it in the mail and they
see it on the invitation.
So that's the first connectionwith the expectation.
Then, usually on a receptioncard we'll have the wedding
website address.
People will go because theyhave to RSVP.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
So on that RSVP page we usually suggest let's have it
there written again, just incase people forget, they can see
it again when they RSVP.
Now people are even getting socreative where they are making
like pinterest boards of andthey send them out.
(23:59):
Yes, or they.
They put it on the weddingwebsite under the frequent asked
question section.
On their wedding website theylist the question what is the
dress code or what should I wear, and we can put a p Pinterest
link where people can click andsee okay, these are the types of
clothes that I should bewearing.
(24:21):
So they understand.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I think that is one of my favorite things, just in
general, because I'm a visualperson.
So yeah, when people say like,oh, it's black tie or it's
cocktail attire or it's, youknow, business, professional or
you know, sometimes people don'treally have an idea what that
even means right, I thinkincluding a link to a pinterest
mood board.
I think that is.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
That is such a cool idea, just to make their life
easier when they're selectingtheir attire right I had a bride
once tell me oh, I want to doblack tie because I'm just
worried someone's going to wearjeans.
And I said, well, dear, thereare several other dress codes
(25:02):
that are between black tie andcasual, and this is what they
are.
So there are a few others Ifyou're like.
Well, you know, I think I'dlike for my wedding to be formal
, but I don't want to requiresomeone to have to rent a tuxedo
or someone to have to wear afloor length gown.
I want to give a little morefreedom with the attire.
(25:23):
You can do what's called blacktie preferred, also known as
black tie optional, but I kindof prefer black tie preferred.
That means that you prefer foreveryone to wear a black tie,
but it's not a must.
It's not a requirement.
If you just did not get achance to go and get fit for a
tuxedo, but you have a lovelydark suit in the closet that you
(25:46):
wear to all of your weddings,it is welcomed.
Also, ladies can wear acocktail dress, a midi or
knee-length cocktail dress.
Every lady has a little blackdress.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
So if they also did not get a chance to go shopping,
they have something.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
It's acceptable, yeah , okay.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
It's acceptable.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
I like that.
You know, I learned a fewthings today.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
And then you have cocktail attire, which is very
similar to semi-formal, but itjust eliminates the black tie
altogether.
So gentlemen, other than thosethat are in the wedding party,
are not required to wear atuxedo, or it's not even
suggested.
And ladies have a little morefreedom in the attire they are
(26:27):
not required to wear afloor-length gown, but they are
required to wear a cocktaildress.
And then for the more, I guessnot casual but less formal,
would be what's calledsemi-formal, and those events
usually start in the daytime.
So gentlemen can wear a sportcoat or a light colored suit,
(26:49):
ladies can even wear like adressy pantsuit or a nice skirt
or a pretty dress that theymight wear to church.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
I love it.
Thank you so much, Caroline.
We are running out of time.
I learned a lot today.
I am obsessed.
I'm going to go look up blacktie mood boards now, but OK.
So I want you to tell ourlisteners where they can find
you.
I want them to see your work.
Maybe somebody wants to get incontact with you.
How can they reach out to you?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Thank you.
We're on Instagram at ValariePlanning and our website address
is valarieplanningcom.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Perfect.
There you have it, guys.
Thank you so much again.
I'm so excited that you finallywere able to make it out to us,
and I'm sure our listeners aregoing to be so excited to hear
everything black tie related.
Thank you so much, caroline.
Thank you All right, guys.
There you have it.
We'll see you next week.
Thank you, thanks for listeningto the Tipsy Guest podcast.
(27:48):
If you know someone who couldbenefit from these tips, spread
the love and share it with them.
Don't forget to subscribe andleave a review.
Next round's on us, same time,same place Cheers.
This podcast is brought to youby MBP Photo Booth, the number
one photo booth rental companyin San Antonio, austin and
(28:10):
Central Texas.
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