Why do even the most successful leaders feel stuck? ๐๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ, ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐ซ๐๐งโ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฆ๐ฌโ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ฆ๐ฉ๐ญ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ?
In this powerful new episode of ๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ง๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง ๐๐๐๐๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ญ, I sit down with returning guest ๐๐จ๐ก๐ง ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ซ๐, a former NASA rocket scientist turned keynote speaker and executive coach. Together, we unpack ๐๐จ๐ก๐งโ๐ฌ ๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐๐ซ๐๐๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ ๐๐๐ฏ๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐ซ๐๐ฆ๐๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค thatโs helping high performers move from hesitation to high-impact action.
๐ฅ Youโll discover:
Why โ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ฒโ thinking is silently costing you your goals
How to flip fear into bold, sustainable leadership moves
The 6 key leverage points that will transform your results (starting today)
Why pauses prevent saying stupid thingsโand how to build them into your leadership habits
How Johnโs faith, pain, and purpose fueled a mission bigger than NASA
๐๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ๐งโ๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐งโ๐ข๐ญโ๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ๐๐ญ ๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐๐ญ ๐๐๐๐ค๐๐ ๐๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐๐ข๐๐ง๐๐, ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ฒ, ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ
๐ง Listen now on Apple, Spotify, or your favorite platform
๐ ๐๐จ๐ก๐ง ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ซ๐โ๐ฌ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐๐ฅ๐๐ง: johnmollura.com/freestuffย
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ค ๐ญ๐ก๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐ก๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐ข๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ?
๐๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ 1:1 leadership strategy session with me:
โ https://coachjohngallagher.com/freecallย
#TheUncommonLeaderPodcast #JohnMollura #EliteLevelAction #LeadershipDevelopment #ConfidenceCoach #HighPerformanceHabits #OvercomeFear #ExecutiveCoaching #FaithDrivenLeadership #ImposterSyndrome #PersonalGrowth #PodcastForLeaders #CoachJohnGallagher #TakeEliteAction
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So teaching people to build those pauses in, and what
I always teach people Iactually it's fun to like when I
do like a big keynote event oreven a workshop event and I'm
working with people and what andI just drill into them I make
them repeat this back by aboutlike eight times during the
course of the thing is pausesprevent saying stupid things
(00:32):
stupid things.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hey, uncommon Leaders , welcome back.
This is the Uncommon Leaderpodcast.
I'm your host, john Gallagher,and I've got a great guest for
you today.
He's a second time guest aswell, so we'll talk about that
just a little bit.
John Malara is a NASA rocketscientist turned photographer,
and now keynote speaker andexecutive coach as well.
I'm looking forward to ourconversation today.
We're going to talk about hisnew framework that he's been
(00:55):
developing over the past coupleof years, called Elite Level
Action, and how he equipsleaders with high performance
and science-backed strategies.
To move from hesitation to bold, confident action is what he's
looking for in this space.
I can't wait to hear not onlyhow he does that, but how he's
overcome some of these things inhis journey, because he's
(01:15):
talked about some of hischallenges as well before and
wrote about those, and we talkedabout on the last episode.
John Malara, welcome back tothe Uncommon Leader Podcast.
How are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I'm well, my brother.
Thank you for having me.
It's good to be back after twoand a half years.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
You know I looked at that as I prepared for the
podcast.
I'm like, how has it been twoand a half years since we've had
that?
And then you know you look atthis 150, some episodes later,
you know we've grown and maybelet's start right there, even
before we get into elite levelaction.
In terms of what you're goingto talk about, what's been going
on in your life, how have yougrown the last couple of years
in your leadership journey?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, when, when we talked last and I think probably
very in the winter of 2023, Iwas, I was just coming into my
imposter syndrome talks where Iwas just hitting stride with
that, helping people understandways to not feel like a fraud,
(02:14):
and it was starting to gettraction, but it never really
developed the traction that Ithought it should.
People would love the talks,but I was having trouble getting
bookings and getting intoplaces and I was talking with
one of our coaches and brandbuilders group, which is how you
and I met.
I said man, elizabeth, it'sjust not grabbing.
(02:36):
I don't get it.
And she said what's your talkcalled?
And I said Unmasking ImposterSyndrome.
She said who are you looking tohelp?
I'm like high performers.
She's like do you think a highperformer wants to admit they
have some kind of a syndrome?
So, you know, like they hit thebrakes, you know, at the end of
2023.
And I was like, well, whoops,totally missed the boat on that.
(03:01):
So I took that, took that youknow, unmasking imposter
syndrome content, which waswhich was really powerful,
really well received when Icould get in to talk to people
about it and I thought, allright, what do I need to do?
You know what would highperformers like?
And my buddy, william, who's a26 year veteran, the navy seal
teams has a keynote called NavySEAL mindset and I'm thinking
(03:26):
like what's that even mean,william?
But then I'm like I don't carewhat it means, like Navy SEALs
are, like I want a Navy SEALmindset, right.
So I took the same content.
I had the unmasking impostersyndrome content that you and I
talked about two and a halfyears ago and I totally
rebranded it as elite levelconfidence and that took off and
(03:49):
that took off into this elitelevel kind of ecosystem that
I've built out.
So that's what's been going onwith me.
I totally fell on my face afterwe talked, went back, you back,
got my coach involved, becausehow powerful is that to have
some outside perspective pouredinto you and then be able to
(04:10):
receive that and then giveyourself some grace and go again
.
So that's the short list ofwhat's been happening since we
talked two and a half years ago.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
No, I appreciate that .
I mean again the fact that youand I are both still on that
journey.
We know we still have a ways togo in terms of what we're doing
.
We're not experts by any means,but just to listen through that
, and rather than talking aboutthe gap as the title, we talk
about the outcome and what'sgoing to be the result of the
work, this elite levelconfidence that folks are going
(04:38):
to experience when they overcomesome of these things.
So I love that.
I mean Rory and AJ just cameout with their book as we're
recording this podcast.
Uh, what is it?
What did they refer to it?
As wealthy and well-known.
Certainly, when you pick up thebook covering, you say what do
I want?
I would definitely want to bewealthy and well-known.
I would definitely want elitelevel confidence or, frankly,
(05:01):
Navy SEAL mindset as well.
Uh, Navy, those Navy SEALs guysare beasts, no doubt about it,
and to learn from them would bevery important, so let's jump
there.
Then You've converted it overto this elite level confidence.
What does that framework meanto you?
What are the outcomes and whoare you talking to when you're
giving this talk or doing thisteaching?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah, absolutely so, the people that I love to help.
As Rory has told us, you arebest suited to serve the you
that you used to be.
So for 15 years I led testoperations for NASA and elite
military units All across theplanet.
We led missions that landed onMars successfully One of them
didn't land successfully, so Iknow how that feels too.
(05:47):
So I led these teams and, eventhough I was operating at an
elite level, I really never feltlike I belonged there and I
didn't have the confidence toreally make the most out of that
time that I had there.
So I just always felt stuck,even though like to the outside
(06:09):
world, like I seemed like I wasperforming at these elite levels
.
So the way I developed mycontent was to help people that
are always talking about likeone day, one day I want to do
this, one day I want to do that,and I'm like all right, stop
talking about one day and let'sget you started on day one.
So I provide people a framework, which are which are my six
(06:29):
checkpoints to help them justnot only get into action towards
what they want, but also givethem the tools to keep going in
a sustainable way, because it'sone thing to get going like out
of the gate, like at a hundredpercent, and you're running full
speed, like you.
Just you just ran a Spartanrace, right?
(06:51):
Or you and you're getting readyto run another one.
So am I like you don't run outat full speed, right?
This is this is this is aprocess.
So that's the framework Ideveloped.
It's a framework to get peoplemoving into action.
But once they get moving inaction, to take that consistent
action, those steps to get theresults that they're after.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I love that and I wrote this down as you were
talking one day versus day one.
I love the play on words thatgoes there, the pillar point,
however we end up defining it asyou go forward.
But because I think about thatwhen you talked about one day, I
often hear folks say soon orsome, and I often tell them some
is not a number and soon is nota time.
(07:32):
You talk about that.
I believe at times, when we saythings like that is, the key
word might be procrastination,and you say that procrastination
isn't laziness, but certainlythis may be one of the barriers
that we have to overcome to getto elite level.
So, before we talk about thesix steps, tell me more about
(07:53):
procrastination and what thatmeans to you and how we
recognize it and how we viewprocrastination.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Right.
So one of the ways that we viewprocrastination, and not only
procrastination I call these thebig three overthinking,
perfectionism andprocrastination.
I call them the big three and Ilump them all together and I
say'm a perfectionist or I'm aprocrastinator.
But overthinking perfectionism,procrastination, john, they're
(08:34):
actually symptoms, they're notthe root cause.
So what I help people see isthat overthinking perfectionism,
procrastination is a symptomand what they're a symptom of is
fear.
Fear is the symptom thatactually causes us to overthink,
get stuck in these like justendless loops of trying to make
(08:55):
it a little bit better and tweakit here and there.
It's not quite ready.
One day I'm gonna put it outwhen it's perfect, right, right.
So the reason why those aresymptoms of fear is because
we're scared to put ourselvesout there.
So we come up with what I callthese brave delays to just stall
it out.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Brave delays.
I love that and, again, I lovethat word in terms of fear, that
it manifests itself in thatspace of being afraid of putting
ourselves out there, even goingback again to what we talked
about a couple of years ago withregards to imposter syndrome.
But fear is that big thing.
So you've got this framework tohelp them overcome this fear.
Then, right, and you got thisin terms of six steps and we
(09:41):
won't have time to go throughall six of those.
But, frankly, how do folks getstarted first in recognizing the
fear and then overcoming thatfear as well?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Right.
So a lot of times it comes, itcomes down to asking yourself a
better question.
And a lot of times when we askourselves these question of why
can't I just get started?
Why can't I just do this?
Why can't?
Why?
Why do I think so much aboutthis?
Like those questions, like theyjust keep us stuck.
So the better question to askis what am I scared of?
(10:11):
And drilling down to that itmight take a couple times.
So I call it the five whys.
You know, and we're lookingthrough these golden threads of
themes throughout stuff.
So if we keep drilling down andsaying why, like, let say
someone, like we were justtalking about Spartan races Like
, let's say, someone has ahealth goal that they're going
(10:32):
after and they're justprocrastinating with walking 10
minutes a day, like somethingalways comes up, it's like ask
yourself what are you scared of?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
something always comes up.
It's like ask yourself what areyou scared of?
Like?
Well, I'm not scared.
When you think about fear andin that we talked about that
10,000 steps a day.
Again, I wouldn't have thoughtfive years ago that I ever would
have considered signing up fora Spartan race.
And then to realize and again Ithink that probably needing
others to go along that journeyhas been very important, but
(11:03):
there's a.
You know, that's five yearsthat I lost.
You talk about the cost ofprocrastination.
What's the actual cost ofprocrastinating that folks don't
even realize?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
The biggest one is is the mental load that we are
taking on because of all thelittle things that we're not
doing, like those are gettingtucked away in our brain and
it's just, it's just clutteringup our brain, like if we think
of our brain like a computer.
You know we've all had thecomputer that just has too many
tabs open and it's just going soslow and you got to just, you
(11:38):
know, kind of reboot everything.
Right, I had too many tabs openon your phone and you're, you
got to reboot the phone, ourbrains, like that, and all these
little things that weprocrastinate on that.
I'll do those tomorrow, I'll dothose one day.
But here's the truth Tomorrownever shows up wearing a cape to
(12:00):
save the day, does it?
Tomorrow's going to show up,you know, wearing this like
sleek kind of overcoat with allthese tailored pockets where
it's going to hide more excusesto hand to you and be like
here's your excuse today.
You're off the hook.
And those gloves thattomorrow's wearing when it hands
you these envelopes of allthese excuses you get, those
gloves are not because they'refashionable.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Tomorrow's wearing those to keep its fingerprints
off of your stolen time the ideabehind overcoming that cost and
recognizing, in essence,defining what the reason for
action is, that you need to takethis elite level action.
What do you see in yourcoaching of others and your
(12:40):
conversations of others?
Are things outside of that fearthat just keep them from
getting started?
And what's the one way youovercame that fear to?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
get started and again it goes back to being aware of
it, like being honest withyourself, be like what am I
really scared of?
And when we can understand thatthe human brain hates change,
just by nature it associateschange with danger.
So I would say, like you know,change or danger is what your
(13:12):
brain thinks anytime you try todo something different.
That's why your brain wouldrather keep you in something
that is familiar but not servingyou well.
It would rather keep you insomething that's familiar and
not serving you well than dosomething different where your
brain doesn't exactly knowwhat's going to happen.
(13:32):
So if we just stay on autopilotand allow our brain to just run
the show like that, nothing'sgoing to change.
But the beautiful part is weget to engage that wonderful
prefrontal cortex of our brainthat makes us human, that
separates us from my dog who'ssitting on the couch here, of
our brain, that makes us human,that separates us, you know,
from my dog who's sitting on thecouch here.
We get to engage thatprefrontal cortex and interrupt
that thought and be like okay, Irecognize I'm freaking out
(13:54):
right now because my brain, I'mgetting ready to change and my
brain is trying to keep me safe.
And that's where it's likethank you, brain, I got it from
here and stepping in andactively making that choice to
push through the fear, butrecognizing that it's really
just a natural response tothings but it's not valid.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
So let's move into practical strategies and, in
terms of how folks are able toovercome this, take me through
the six leverage points forsuccess that you talk about real
quick and then maybe talk aboutone of those and how somebody
might be able to implement ahabit to help make that change.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Absolutely.
So the six points that I talkabout are, you know, the first
is confidence, because withouthaving this innate belief that
we can do difficult things, youknow, we just stay stuck.
So there's confidence.
And then, once we startbuilding up our confidence, then
it's all about taking action,you know.
(14:56):
So there are the first twoconfidence, action.
And then, once we get movinginto action, now the important
part is keeping up that momentumright.
So I have strategies andframeworks to keep people going
with momentum.
And so so I come, I, I, I havestrategies and frameworks to
keep people going with momentum.
And then, once we get moving,you know we've got, we're
starting to build our confidence, we're taking action, we're,
we're starting to build up ahead of steam, you know, like a
(15:16):
train.
Now the important part is wegot to keep our focus because
you, you and I are, are, are,are both.
You know big football fans.
You know you've got WVU,mountaineers, penn State and the
Lions.
You know my poor father had togo to University of Pittsburgh,
but at least he got to playthere.
You know last guy to win 33before Tony Dorsett, and one of
(15:39):
the things my dad always talkedabout with football was when you
have the ball and you are goingtowards the end zone, you never
, ever, ever, look to the sideto see who's beside you and you
never look behind you to seewho's coming for you.
He said that is the quickestway that you will lose the game
(15:59):
and get dropped.
And that is so much the way itis in our life, right, like if
we start taking action, buildingmomentum, and all of a sudden
you start looking like, oh,what's everyone else doing?
Or oh, wow, they're a littlebit steps ahead.
Well, guess what, you just gottackled, right.
So that's why that fourth pointthat I have is maintaining
(16:21):
focus on your actions.
And then the fifth one isbuilding structures into our
relationship and having thestructures in our relationships
that enable us to do our bestand not get, you know, diverted
into, like people pleasingbehavior, which I'm a recovering
people pleaser everybody.
So you know how do we buildthese structures and set these
(16:44):
boundaries in our relationship,not to keep people out, but to
keep the relationships healthy.
And then the final point that Iwork on with people is legacy,
and legacy is not somethingthat's far off.
Legacy is something that webuild moment to moment, right
(17:05):
now that, when we meet thefuture version of ourselves,
that we want that future versionof ourselves to say, hey, john
man, thanks for showing up forme all those years ago, all
those weeks ago, all thosemonths ago.
Thank you for showing up andmaking the difficult decisions
then so we can live the lifethat we want now.
That's the point of legacy.
(17:26):
So that's how I actually frameit with people to help them get
moving into action.
One of the first things we dowhen I work with someone
one-on-one is I help themunderstand who they want to be.
I say, like, who's this futureyou that you want, and I have
frameworks and questions to helpthem figure out.
You know, four foundationalpoints to help them define that
future you.
Four foundational points tohelp them define that future you
(17:48):
, because that's what will getyou into action on those days
where you don't want to do thething in front of you.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Hey, uncommon Leaders , hope you're enjoying the
episode.
So far.
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(18:15):
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That's coachjohngallaghercomslash BBG.
Now let's get back to theepisode.
(18:35):
You know I love the analogy youuse on the focus as well, in
terms of not looking to the side.
Just keep your eyes down thefield and running straight down
the field, and once you start tolook to the side or what anyone
else is doing, it can besomething that is going to get
you tackled.
It's going to slow you down.
Whatever that is.
So keeping your focus and Iwould imagine some of the
(18:56):
disciplines you've had to put inplace to keep there, to keep
you consistent, is veryimportant inside of that focus.
What's one way you've been ableto build discipline to help you
stay focused in your work, john, that others could implement in
their lives?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, so.
So with any any of these, these, these points that we're that
we're talking about today, thebiggest thing that we want to do
is shift out of this mindset ofautopilot that we're on, where
we're just kind of beboppingalong and doing everything like
we normally do, and shift outthis mentality of just being on
autopilot and being aware ofthings.
And, like this happened to mein the past 48 hours.
(19:35):
Right, like I was, I was onInstagram.
Someone popped up in my feedthat that I know we're, we're in
similar spaces and they hadthis whole post.
And I'm like how, how did theydo that and why am I stuck here?
And like I, you know, I hadmyself a little pity party.
I went to negative town, youknow, for a while.
(19:55):
So that was my automaticbehavior, you know, like I was
stressed about something else, Iwas tired, there was other
things going on in my life, andlike it just caught me.
You know, my guards were down,I took my eyes off the goal of
where I want to go, which hasnothing to do with this person
at all, and you know I done gotmyself tackled.
(20:19):
So the goal, then, is to switch,becoming aware of it, realize
like, okay, right, I'm comparingmyself to other people.
And the important thing is,once you become aware of
something, is not to slide intojudgment.
We can be so judgmental ofourselves, right.
And when you're aware andjudgmental, that's when you can
(20:42):
become like a really big criticI should be doing this, I
shouldn't be doing that, I can'tbelieve, yeah.
So the goal is, once we becomeaware, one of the frameworks I
teach in my masterclass isshifting out of autopilot into
awareness.
And when you get into awareness,the opposite of judgment is
being curious.
And when you can be aware andyou can be curious, you become
(21:05):
what I call a seeker.
Be aware and you can be curious.
You become what I call a seeker.
Now you're getting in theproblem solving mode.
When you're aware and curious,now you're a seeker.
And now you're going towardssomething.
And now you're askingaction-based questions.
You're seeking for the truth,you're seeking for what's next,
you're seeking what you want andyou're being aware and you're
just being curious.
(21:25):
There's no judgment.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
You talked about that story 48 hours ago.
How did you become aware?
How did you recognize it,because it's probably a muscle
you have to train?
How did you?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
do that.
Yeah, I was like I just foundmyself spiraling right.
I'm like man, like I came upwith all the stories, like it
seems to be so easy for thisperson.
Everything's difficult for me.
Why am I even you know,creating this course like kind
of thing.
I'm like stop, like wait aminute.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
One of our worst, one of our worst critics is
ourselves, normally as we gothrough, and we have to learn
even then to recognize that,that that voice doesn't exist.
You, you started it off withsome of the symptoms and you
actually refer almost in notthat you were, but in
declarative statements.
Some people think they're I aman overthinker or I am a
procrastinator or I am aperfectionist, and so when we
(22:15):
recognize or label ourselves inthat negative space, then that's
going to be kind of where thedirection we turn, just like
looking at the line on the sideof the road as we're going to
move toward.
But if you can ultimately beaware, I love that be curious
and seek what you want as apositive.
I am a leader, I am a strongperson and I am successful
(22:37):
Ultimately, even if you takethat in the faith side that I am
a child of God, I'm not who I'mtrying to call myself in that
negative and that's not mespeaking.
That awareness is so important.
If you can find a methodologyto step out of that, inside of
that framework, to say no, no,no.
Let's become curious and seek asolution versus recognizing and
(23:00):
identifying with the symptomthat is there, I love that.
Thank you for sharing that.
Do you have a special story ora win with a client that you've
helped overcome?
That's been really a goodfeeling for you.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yeah, absolutely One of the folks that I've been able
to work with one-on-one.
There was a lot of very highperformer like uber high
performer and a very criticalfield, a lot of stress, a lot of
high performer like uber highperformer and like a very
critical field, you know, a lotof stress, a lot of high states
like literal life and deathstuff, and it came down to a lot
(23:34):
of communication.
It wasn't the skills that theylacked, it was the way they were
communicating with other people, not understanding how they
actually benefited best fromcommunicating or being
communicated to also.
So one of the first things Ihave people do and I work
one-on-one with them is do theEnneagram test, which is how do
(23:58):
you communicate, just naturally,how do you receive messages,
and it builds a lot of awareness.
It's in like, oh well, that'swhy whenever I talk to this
person like, or this type ofperson, or this communication
style person like it justbristles the hair on your neck,
and other people like it canjust flow.
So having that self-awarenesswas so powerful for this client,
(24:22):
they're like oh well, that'swhy it just automatically puts
me in the red when someonecommunicates with me like this.
And the beautiful part is onceyou understand yourself.
Now, now, now you got someinformation to work with.
Now you can be like okay,what's the truth here?
Like I know, I know I don'treceive messages, well, when
someone speaks to me, I don'tknow very flowery like it's like
(24:44):
, okay, now we got, we gotthings to do, like what, what
are we doing?
And so you can check yourself.
And I teach people in myframeworks to pause, like the
power of the pause, like insteadof reacting, like how do we
pause?
And I say the best way to pauseis take a breath, like just
(25:06):
take a breath, build thatnatural, build some time in to
respond instead of reacting,because reacting is just
impulsive, like we don't thinkabout, we just do it.
And how many times have wereacted, especially with our
words?
It hasn't been.
We've regretted it.
Like as soon as those wordsleave your mouth, it's like, oh
boy, I should not have said thatright.
(25:27):
So teaching people to buildthose pauses in and in the what
I always teach people, Iactually it's fun to like when I
do like a big like keynoteevent or even a workshop event
and I'm working with people andwhat, and I just drill into them
.
I make them repeat this back byabout like eight times during
the course of the thing ispauses prevent saying stupid
(25:49):
things.
Pauses prevent saying stupidthings.
People in the audience say itwith me, john, say it with me,
here we go.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Pauses prevent saying stupid things right, amen,
brother, there's no doubt aboutit, whether you call it the abe
Abe Lincoln rule, where youdon't hit that email send button
but pause, because it canprevent a lot of problems in the
future.
But once it comes out, it'shard to put it back in.
It's just like that toothpastethat you try to put back in the
(26:18):
tube.
It does not work, it's alreadyout there.
I love that.
I'm in the back of my mindrecognizing hey, I've done the
Enneagram test and I tend tosmile when I read the
differences inside of thosethings and just smile and say so
.
That's why I feel this way.
It's not really that I'm a badperson or a good person here.
(26:39):
It's just that I respond asthis type in certain ways.
And to your point thatawareness is so important, I
appreciate you share that.
Pauses prevent staying stupidthings that will stick with me
for a while, no doubt about itand being able to use that.
The last step that I findfascinating too of the six steps
(27:00):
is legacy.
You know, reaching your futurepotential and what that means.
Yeah, you talk a lot aboutintention of doing good in the
world.
Were you always that way interms of doing good or what's
what's there for you?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
So, at at the core, I always wanted to do good.
But you know, just justthroughout the course of my life
you know the the trials,transitions and traumas that
that had happened, the trials,transitions and traumas that had
happened I felt that it wassafer to build up this wall
(27:37):
around me.
I built up this very hardexterior with the goal,
subconscious goal, of not beingable to be hurt.
So the way I would, in, inerror, try to prevent myself
from being hurt was being verysharp with my words, just
keeping people at bay, and youknow, I had the mentality of I'm
(28:01):
going to, I'm going to shut theother person down quicker than
and not even give them anopportunity to hurt me.
So for a lot of, a lot of mylife, until until the moment I
was saved in in June of 2009,like I was, I was very much like
the apostle Paul.
(28:22):
Like I, I just, I just you wereSaul huh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was, I wasvery much.
I know I didn't sign anybody'sdeath warrants or anything like
that, but verbally, like I was averbal assassin, like I might
as well have been signing deathwarrants, especially like after,
like you know, I would reachout to people and like apologize
and like realize the impact of,like, the words that I said to
(28:44):
people had over the years, um,it was, that's so.
No, I, I wasn't always seekingto do good.
And then, once I was saved inJune of 2009, after, after my,
my best friend's, um,intentional overdose, it really
just opened my eyes.
You know, first thing, godshowed me how I was showing up
(29:06):
in my life and he was like, hey,let's get, let's get you know,
let's get you sorted out, buddy,because, buddy, because before
God can do work through you,he's got to do a lot of work in
you.
So there was a lot of justself-reflection and learning the
word and who the lord was.
Because, growing up, the faithsystem I I was raised in like it
(29:38):
wasn't really the loving father, you know it was what.
How can religion be used tomake you feel bad about yourself
, to have you fall in line?
That was the message I got.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
so, once, I said that word abiding was more about,
you know, harsh discipline thanit was about love and mercy,
exactly.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah.
So once I started learningabout that, that, that
unconditional love, that agape,that that really was what Jesus
came for, that I was like I wantto, I want to, I want to do
that, you know, because I wasshown that love, you know, and
(30:17):
that, and that forgiveness, youknow, whenever I I came back to
the faith and really startedlearning about what, what that
love really is.
So that's why I have such aheart to help people is because
I know how dark that feels, Iknow how hopeless that feels,
even with, you know, earningaccolades that most people think
are great.
Like so many of the accoladesthat I got, like I would get
(30:39):
them, I'd get a letter ofcommendation and I'd put them in
a folder and just stuff them inmy desk because I just didn't
believe I deserved it.
You know, I was believing somany lies of the enemy at that
time in my life and I just wasjust really numb and hollow.
So that's why now in my life,almost what 16 years later, I
have such a heart to help people.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
John, I love that and I love that the conversation
went there just a little bit,and that's a question that I've
been pondering.
In fact, again as we recordthis, I have a newsletter coming
out this week where I try toanswer the question.
You know, how do faith andbusiness, you know, work
together.
So let me ask you that question.
I know it's not part ofanything that we kind of worked
(31:27):
on directly with regards toelite level action, but how does
your faith impact your business?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
or vice versa.
Yeah, it gives me a first ofall.
It gives me a rock to fall backon, Because through so much of
my life I wanted to be, I wantedto be able to be the person who
was able to do it all.
I didn't need anybody else.
You know, I had that lone wolfmentality, Like I can do it,
(31:55):
that lone wolf mentality, Like Ican do it, and that's good to
be able to have that, that, thatchutzpah and that, that, that
grit to keep going.
But there's a big part of methat, when I recognize that I
just really need to surrenderthis to God and really lean back
on on on his grace and hisguidance and incorporate prayer
(32:16):
into like, what am I supposed todo next?
I pray a lot, I don't know whatto do right now.
What do I do God?
So incorporating that faith andit gives such a solid
foundation for me.
But also, at the end of the day, like, the Bible is all about
love and treating people withrespect and meeting people where
(32:39):
they're at.
Like that's a big thing aboutthe Bible that I think a lot of
people miss because so many, youknow, the biggest thing that
turns people off to Christianityis Christians.
Like let's be honest, likeChristians, are what turn other
people off to Christianity.
So if we can actually modellike that unconditional love and
(33:01):
meet people where they're at,which is exactly what Jesus did,
you know Jesus would eat withthe tax collectors, the
prostitutes.
You know the people thatsociety hated, he met people
where they were at.
So that's, that's at the coreof what I do.
That's what I do is I meetpeople where they're at, help
them figure out where they wantto go and walk with them as a
(33:23):
guide on that journey.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Of that.
I love that message.
Look the the, the Bible, as yousay, uh, is very clear, uh, the
word is is in there if we allowit to penetrate our hearts.
Jesus said it all comes down toreally the two laws, that's, to
love God with all your heart,all your mind and all your soul,
and to love your neighbor asyourself.
In terms of understanding thatthose two things, and if we can
(33:47):
do those two things as humanbeings, as Christians, the world
would be a much better place,recognizing that none of us are
perfect.
All the way back to thebeginning, I talked about
perfectionism and wanting to beperfect.
We're not perfect.
Hey, john, I appreciate yousharing that and really sharing
part of your story, part of yourjourney in that space.
You look back in this journeyfor you, just in the past two
(34:11):
and a half, three years, asyou've grown as a leader, as
you've grown, uh, in your role.
What's one message you know, ifyou look back at your uh, john
Lahr, three years ago, thatyou'd give yourself to say you
need to do this.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Oh, great question.
Oh great question, one of my,one, of someone who's become a
mentor to me, pastor Ken Burns.
He, when I talked with him, youknow where I was three years
ago.
I was still doing photographyand things just weren't working.
(34:49):
Like, no matter what I did, itdidn't seem to work.
And so I did what I always do Itried harder.
Right, it's kind of for thenext course you invest, you do
more marketing, you do morethings.
And what Ken told me was andthis is like a couple months ago
, like I wish I had thisinformation back then he said,
(35:10):
john, you got to recognize whenyou're experiencing spiritual
pullback.
And I said, what the you got torecognize when you're
experiencing spiritual pullback.
And I said what the heck doesthat mean, ken?
He said you have to be aware,going back to that awareness of
what's going on around you andhave that curiosity to realize
if things like are not workingout in one area of your life.
(35:33):
He's like, think of it like afaucet.
God's turning that faucet backbecause guess what?
He needs you to wake up andstart moving into something else
.
So if I had had that frameworkthat Ken shared with me a few
months ago, a few years ago.
That would have reduced a lotof just turmoil.
It would have put me into aspace of curiosity of like, okay
(35:55):
, what's god trying to teach mehere?
What's god trying to call me tonow, instead of just being like
, you know, just being like, oh,I'm not getting anywhere on the
hamster wheel, well, let me runa little bit faster, right, and
then eventually put me in aplace where, like I burned out,
I was like I did get rid of myphotography studio, so like I
wish I had that information ofif you're experiencing a
(36:18):
spiritual pullback, start beingcurious about and leaning into
and asking God where you need togo next.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I love that because, again, the picture that I had
was actually pushing againstthis door so hard that I'm going
to work, make this work, nomatter what.
And you know God's standingover here on the other, against
this door, so hard that I'mgoing to work, make this work,
no matter what.
And you know God's standingover here on the other side
saying, hey, john, I'm over here, this door is wide open, man,
and this is the door I'm takingyou through.
You're trying so hard to leanon your own understanding back
to scripture that you're notcoming back to me.
(36:47):
I love that, like, I'm closingdoors so that I can open doors
for others.
Look, the call was very simplewe were called to make disciples
of all, and not disciplenecessarily just of our own
self-generated things that wewanted to do, but to do what we
were called to do.
So I appreciate you sharingthat, and that's some wisdom I
(37:09):
could learn from myself as Ilook at some of the things that
I try to continue to work on.
Look, I think you're going tohave tremendous success in this
space, especially with theawareness and spirit that you
have that you're going after it,john, as a speaker, as an
executive coach, where can folksgo to connect with you and
learn more about you?
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Yeah, absolutely, it's very creative website name
johnmaloracom,J-O-H-N-M-O-L-L-U-R-Acom and I
have these.
I have the Elite Action FlightPlan there for free.
It's johnmaloracom slash freestuff.
They can click on it.
It downloads all the six pointswe talked about.
You know, the confidence, theaction, the momentum, focus,
(37:55):
structure and legacy.
Explains a little bit moreabout that and why that's
important and, more importantly,how you can start taking action
on those things right now.
And then, as a bonus, andthere's my three minute action
formula.
So johnmalluracom, free stuff,and they can download that elite
action flight plan and startmaking moves towards the goals
that they want.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
I'll be sure to put the link in the show notes, john
, so that they get to that.
And folks you know someone thatyou've listened to this message
that needs to hear it as well.
We need to get this message ofelite mindset, elite action into
the hands of so many leaders,especially again as we go to the
end, and who we're called to befrom men of faith standpoint as
(38:39):
well, folks who need to hearthat message in the times that
we're living today.
So, John and Laura, I have soenjoyed our second conversation.
I want to honor your time orI'd try and give you a hard time
about Penn State absolutelydestroying my Mountaineers last
year, but we'll get a chance totalk about that again.
On the third one, let's notwait two and a half years to do
(39:01):
that again, but I wish you thebest.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
All right man.
Thanks for the time.
Good seeing my brother.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
And that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon
Leader Podcast.
Thanks for tuning in today.
If you found value in thisepisode, I encourage you to
share it with your friends,colleagues or anyone else who
could benefit from the insightsand inspiration we've shared.
Also, if you have a moment, I'dgreatly appreciate if you could
leave a rating and review onyour favorite podcast platform.
Your feedback not only helps usto improve, but it also helps
(39:30):
others discover the podcast andjoin our growing community of
uncommon leaders.
Until next time, go and growchampions.
So teaching people to build those pauses in, and what
I always teach people Iactually it's fun to like when I
do like a big keynote event oreven a workshop event and I'm
working with people and what andI just drill into them I make
them repeat this back by aboutlike eight times during the
course of the thing is pausesprevent saying stupid things
(00:32):
stupid things.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hey, uncommon Leaders , welcome back.
This is the Uncommon Leaderpodcast.
I'm your host, john Gallagher,and I've got a great guest for
you today.
He's a second time guest aswell, so we'll talk about that
just a little bit.
John Malara is a NASA rocketscientist turned photographer,
and now keynote speaker andexecutive coach as well.
I'm looking forward to ourconversation today.
We're going to talk about hisnew framework that he's been
(00:55):
developing over the past coupleof years, called Elite Level
Action, and how he equipsleaders with high performance
and science-backed strategies.
To move from hesitation to bold, confident action is what he's
looking for in this space.
I can't wait to hear not onlyhow he does that, but how he's
overcome some of these things inhis journey, because he's
(01:15):
talked about some of hischallenges as well before and
wrote about those, and we talkedabout on the last episode.
John Malara, welcome back tothe Uncommon Leader Podcast.
How are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I'm well, my brother.
Thank you for having me.
It's good to be back after twoand a half years.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
You know I looked at that as I prepared for the
podcast.
I'm like, how has it been twoand a half years since we've had
that?
And then you know you look atthis 150, some episodes later,
you know we've grown and maybelet's start right there, even
before we get into elite levelaction.
In terms of what you're goingto talk about, what's been going
on in your life, how have yougrown the last couple of years
in your leadership journey?
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, when, when we talked last and I think probably
very in the winter of 2023, Iwas, I was just coming into my
imposter syndrome talks where Iwas just hitting stride with
that, helping people understandways to not feel like a fraud,
(02:14):
and it was starting to gettraction, but it never really
developed the traction that Ithought it should.
People would love the talks,but I was having trouble getting
bookings and getting intoplaces and I was talking with
one of our coaches and brandbuilders group, which is how you
and I met.
I said man, elizabeth, it'sjust not grabbing.
(02:36):
I don't get it.
And she said what's your talkcalled?
And I said Unmasking ImposterSyndrome.
She said who are you looking tohelp?
I'm like high performers.
She's like do you think a highperformer wants to admit they
have some kind of a syndrome?
So, you know, like they hit thebrakes, you know, at the end of
2023.
And I was like, well, whoops,totally missed the boat on that.
(03:01):
So I took that, took that youknow, unmasking imposter
syndrome content, which waswhich was really powerful,
really well received when Icould get in to talk to people
about it and I thought, allright, what do I need to do?
You know what would highperformers like?
And my buddy, william, who's a26 year veteran, the navy seal
teams has a keynote called NavySEAL mindset and I'm thinking
(03:26):
like what's that even mean,william?
But then I'm like I don't carewhat it means, like Navy SEALs
are, like I want a Navy SEALmindset, right.
So I took the same content.
I had the unmasking impostersyndrome content that you and I
talked about two and a halfyears ago and I totally
rebranded it as elite levelconfidence and that took off and
(03:49):
that took off into this elitelevel kind of ecosystem that
I've built out.
So that's what's been going onwith me.
I totally fell on my face afterwe talked, went back, you back,
got my coach involved, becausehow powerful is that to have
some outside perspective pouredinto you and then be able to
(04:10):
receive that and then giveyourself some grace and go again
.
So that's the short list ofwhat's been happening since we
talked two and a half years ago.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
No, I appreciate that .
I mean again the fact that youand I are both still on that
journey.
We know we still have a ways togo in terms of what we're doing
.
We're not experts by any means,but just to listen through that
, and rather than talking aboutthe gap as the title, we talk
about the outcome and what'sgoing to be the result of the
work, this elite levelconfidence that folks are going
(04:38):
to experience when they overcomesome of these things.
So I love that.
I mean Rory and AJ just cameout with their book as we're
recording this podcast.
Uh, what is it?
What did they refer to it?
As wealthy and well-known.
Certainly, when you pick up thebook covering, you say what do
I want?
I would definitely want to bewealthy and well-known.
I would definitely want elitelevel confidence or, frankly,
(05:01):
Navy SEAL mindset as well.
Uh, Navy, those Navy SEALs guysare beasts, no doubt about it,
and to learn from them would bevery important, so let's jump
there.
Then You've converted it overto this elite level confidence.
What does that framework meanto you?
What are the outcomes and whoare you talking to when you're
giving this talk or doing thisteaching?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah, absolutely so, the people that I love to help.
As Rory has told us, you arebest suited to serve the you
that you used to be.
So for 15 years I led testoperations for NASA and elite
military units All across theplanet.
We led missions that landed onMars successfully One of them
didn't land successfully, so Iknow how that feels too.
(05:47):
So I led these teams and, eventhough I was operating at an
elite level, I really never feltlike I belonged there and I
didn't have the confidence toreally make the most out of that
time that I had there.
So I just always felt stuck,even though like to the outside
(06:09):
world, like I seemed like I wasperforming at these elite levels
.
So the way I developed mycontent was to help people that
are always talking about likeone day, one day I want to do
this, one day I want to do that,and I'm like all right, stop
talking about one day and let'sget you started on day one.
So I provide people a framework, which are which are my six
(06:29):
checkpoints to help them justnot only get into action towards
what they want, but also givethem the tools to keep going in
a sustainable way, because it'sone thing to get going like out
of the gate, like at a hundredpercent, and you're running full
speed, like you.
Just you just ran a Spartanrace, right?
(06:51):
Or you and you're getting readyto run another one.
So am I like you don't run outat full speed, right?
This is this is this is aprocess.
So that's the framework Ideveloped.
It's a framework to get peoplemoving into action.
But once they get moving inaction, to take that consistent
action, those steps to get theresults that they're after.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I love that and I wrote this down as you were
talking one day versus day one.
I love the play on words thatgoes there, the pillar point,
however we end up defining it asyou go forward.
But because I think about thatwhen you talked about one day, I
often hear folks say soon orsome, and I often tell them some
is not a number and soon is nota time.
(07:32):
You talk about that.
I believe at times, when we saythings like that is, the key
word might be procrastination,and you say that procrastination
isn't laziness, but certainlythis may be one of the barriers
that we have to overcome to getto elite level.
So, before we talk about thesix steps, tell me more about
(07:53):
procrastination and what thatmeans to you and how we
recognize it and how we viewprocrastination.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Right.
So one of the ways that we viewprocrastination, and not only
procrastination I call these thebig three overthinking,
perfectionism andprocrastination.
I call them the big three and Ilump them all together and I
say'm a perfectionist or I'm aprocrastinator.
But overthinking perfectionism,procrastination, john, they're
(08:34):
actually symptoms, they're notthe root cause.
So what I help people see isthat overthinking perfectionism,
procrastination is a symptomand what they're a symptom of is
fear.
Fear is the symptom thatactually causes us to overthink,
get stuck in these like justendless loops of trying to make
(08:55):
it a little bit better and tweakit here and there.
It's not quite ready.
One day I'm gonna put it outwhen it's perfect, right, right.
So the reason why those aresymptoms of fear is because
we're scared to put ourselvesout there.
So we come up with what I callthese brave delays to just stall
it out.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Brave delays.
I love that and, again, I lovethat word in terms of fear, that
it manifests itself in thatspace of being afraid of putting
ourselves out there, even goingback again to what we talked
about a couple of years ago withregards to imposter syndrome.
But fear is that big thing.
So you've got this framework tohelp them overcome this fear.
Then, right, and you got thisin terms of six steps and we
(09:41):
won't have time to go throughall six of those.
But, frankly, how do folks getstarted first in recognizing the
fear and then overcoming thatfear as well?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Right.
So a lot of times it comes, itcomes down to asking yourself a
better question.
And a lot of times when we askourselves these question of why
can't I just get started?
Why can't I just do this?
Why can't?
Why?
Why do I think so much aboutthis?
Like those questions, like theyjust keep us stuck.
So the better question to askis what am I scared of?
(10:11):
And drilling down to that itmight take a couple times.
So I call it the five whys.
You know, and we're lookingthrough these golden threads of
themes throughout stuff.
So if we keep drilling down andsaying why, like, let say
someone, like we were justtalking about Spartan races Like
, let's say, someone has ahealth goal that they're going
(10:32):
after and they're justprocrastinating with walking 10
minutes a day, like somethingalways comes up, it's like ask
yourself what are you scared of?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
something always comes up.
It's like ask yourself what areyou scared of?
Like?
Well, I'm not scared.
When you think about fear andin that we talked about that
10,000 steps a day.
Again, I wouldn't have thoughtfive years ago that I ever would
have considered signing up fora Spartan race.
And then to realize and again Ithink that probably needing
others to go along that journeyhas been very important, but
(11:03):
there's a.
You know, that's five yearsthat I lost.
You talk about the cost ofprocrastination.
What's the actual cost ofprocrastinating that folks don't
even realize?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
The biggest one is is the mental load that we are
taking on because of all thelittle things that we're not
doing, like those are gettingtucked away in our brain and
it's just, it's just clutteringup our brain, like if we think
of our brain like a computer.
You know we've all had thecomputer that just has too many
tabs open and it's just going soslow and you got to just, you
(11:38):
know, kind of reboot everything.
Right, I had too many tabs openon your phone and you're, you
got to reboot the phone, ourbrains, like that, and all these
little things that weprocrastinate on that.
I'll do those tomorrow, I'll dothose one day.
But here's the truth Tomorrownever shows up wearing a cape to
(12:00):
save the day, does it?
Tomorrow's going to show up,you know, wearing this like
sleek kind of overcoat with allthese tailored pockets where
it's going to hide more excusesto hand to you and be like
here's your excuse today.
You're off the hook.
And those gloves thattomorrow's wearing when it hands
you these envelopes of allthese excuses you get, those
gloves are not because they'refashionable.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Tomorrow's wearing those to keep its fingerprints
off of your stolen time the ideabehind overcoming that cost and
recognizing, in essence,defining what the reason for
action is, that you need to takethis elite level action.
What do you see in yourcoaching of others and your
(12:40):
conversations of others?
Are things outside of that fearthat just keep them from
getting started?
And what's the one way youovercame that fear to?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
get started and again it goes back to being aware of
it, like being honest withyourself, be like what am I
really scared of?
And when we can understand thatthe human brain hates change,
just by nature it associateschange with danger.
So I would say, like you know,change or danger is what your
(13:12):
brain thinks anytime you try todo something different.
That's why your brain wouldrather keep you in something
that is familiar but not servingyou well.
It would rather keep you insomething that's familiar and
not serving you well than dosomething different where your
brain doesn't exactly knowwhat's going to happen.
(13:32):
So if we just stay on autopilotand allow our brain to just run
the show like that, nothing'sgoing to change.
But the beautiful part is weget to engage that wonderful
prefrontal cortex of our brainthat makes us human, that
separates us from my dog who'ssitting on the couch here, of
our brain, that makes us human,that separates us, you know,
from my dog who's sitting on thecouch here.
We get to engage thatprefrontal cortex and interrupt
that thought and be like okay, Irecognize I'm freaking out
(13:54):
right now because my brain, I'mgetting ready to change and my
brain is trying to keep me safe.
And that's where it's likethank you, brain, I got it from
here and stepping in andactively making that choice to
push through the fear, butrecognizing that it's really
just a natural response tothings but it's not valid.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
So let's move into practical strategies and, in
terms of how folks are able toovercome this, take me through
the six leverage points forsuccess that you talk about real
quick and then maybe talk aboutone of those and how somebody
might be able to implement ahabit to help make that change.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Absolutely.
So the six points that I talkabout are, you know, the first
is confidence, because withouthaving this innate belief that
we can do difficult things, youknow, we just stay stuck.
So there's confidence.
And then, once we startbuilding up our confidence, then
it's all about taking action,you know.
(14:56):
So there are the first twoconfidence, action.
And then, once we get movinginto action, now the important
part is keeping up that momentumright.
So I have strategies andframeworks to keep people going
with momentum.
And so so I come, I, I, I havestrategies and frameworks to
keep people going with momentum.
And then, once we get moving,you know we've got, we're
starting to build our confidence, we're taking action, we're,
we're starting to build up ahead of steam, you know, like a
(15:16):
train.
Now the important part is wegot to keep our focus because
you, you and I are, are, are,are both.
You know big football fans.
You know you've got WVU,mountaineers, penn State and the
Lions.
You know my poor father had togo to University of Pittsburgh,
but at least he got to playthere.
You know last guy to win 33before Tony Dorsett, and one of
(15:39):
the things my dad always talkedabout with football was when you
have the ball and you are goingtowards the end zone, you never
, ever, ever, look to the sideto see who's beside you and you
never look behind you to seewho's coming for you.
He said that is the quickestway that you will lose the game
(15:59):
and get dropped.
And that is so much the way itis in our life, right, like if
we start taking action, buildingmomentum, and all of a sudden
you start looking like, oh,what's everyone else doing?
Or oh, wow, they're a littlebit steps ahead.
Well, guess what, you just gottackled, right.
So that's why that fourth pointthat I have is maintaining
(16:21):
focus on your actions.
And then the fifth one isbuilding structures into our
relationship and having thestructures in our relationships
that enable us to do our bestand not get, you know, diverted
into, like people pleasingbehavior, which I'm a recovering
people pleaser everybody.
So you know how do we buildthese structures and set these
(16:44):
boundaries in our relationship,not to keep people out, but to
keep the relationships healthy.
And then the final point that Iwork on with people is legacy,
and legacy is not somethingthat's far off.
Legacy is something that webuild moment to moment, right
(17:05):
now that, when we meet thefuture version of ourselves,
that we want that future versionof ourselves to say, hey, john
man, thanks for showing up forme all those years ago, all
those weeks ago, all thosemonths ago.
Thank you for showing up andmaking the difficult decisions
then so we can live the lifethat we want now.
That's the point of legacy.
(17:26):
So that's how I actually frameit with people to help them get
moving into action.
One of the first things we dowhen I work with someone
one-on-one is I help themunderstand who they want to be.
I say, like, who's this futureyou that you want, and I have
frameworks and questions to helpthem figure out.
You know, four foundationalpoints to help them define that
future you.
Four foundational points tohelp them define that future you
(17:48):
, because that's what will getyou into action on those days
where you don't want to do thething in front of you.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Hey, uncommon Leaders , hope you're enjoying the
episode.
So far.
I believe in doing businesswith people you like and trust,
and not just a company name.
That's why a strong personalbrand is essential, whether
you're an entrepreneur or aleader within a company.
Brand Builders Group, the folkswho have been helping me refine
my own personal brand areoffering a free consultation
call with one of their expertbrand strategists.
They'll help you identify youruniqueness, craft a compelling
(18:15):
story and develop a step-by-stepplan to elevate your impact.
So head on over tocoachjohngallaghercom slash BBG,
as in Brand Builders Group, toschedule your free call and take
the first step toward buildinga personal brand that gets you
noticed for all the rightreasons.
That's coachjohngallaghercomslash BBG.
Now let's get back to theepisode.
(18:35):
You know I love the analogy youuse on the focus as well, in
terms of not looking to the side.
Just keep your eyes down thefield and running straight down
the field, and once you start tolook to the side or what anyone
else is doing, it can besomething that is going to get
you tackled.
It's going to slow you down.
Whatever that is.
So keeping your focus and Iwould imagine some of the
(18:56):
disciplines you've had to put inplace to keep there, to keep
you consistent, is veryimportant inside of that focus.
What's one way you've been ableto build discipline to help you
stay focused in your work, john, that others could implement in
their lives?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, so.
So with any any of these, these, these points that we're that
we're talking about today, thebiggest thing that we want to do
is shift out of this mindset ofautopilot that we're on, where
we're just kind of beboppingalong and doing everything like
we normally do, and shift outthis mentality of just being on
autopilot and being aware ofthings.
And, like this happened to mein the past 48 hours.
(19:35):
Right, like I was, I was onInstagram.
Someone popped up in my feedthat that I know we're, we're in
similar spaces and they hadthis whole post.
And I'm like how, how did theydo that and why am I stuck here?
And like I, you know, I hadmyself a little pity party.
I went to negative town, youknow, for a while.
(19:55):
So that was my automaticbehavior, you know, like I was
stressed about something else, Iwas tired, there was other
things going on in my life, andlike it just caught me.
You know, my guards were down,I took my eyes off the goal of
where I want to go, which hasnothing to do with this person
at all, and you know I done gotmyself tackled.
(20:19):
So the goal, then, is to switch,becoming aware of it, realize
like, okay, right, I'm comparingmyself to other people.
And the important thing is,once you become aware of
something, is not to slide intojudgment.
We can be so judgmental ofourselves, right.
And when you're aware andjudgmental, that's when you can
(20:42):
become like a really big criticI should be doing this, I
shouldn't be doing that, I can'tbelieve, yeah.
So the goal is, once we becomeaware, one of the frameworks I
teach in my masterclass isshifting out of autopilot into
awareness.
And when you get into awareness,the opposite of judgment is
being curious.
And when you can be aware andyou can be curious, you become
(21:05):
what I call a seeker.
Be aware and you can be curious.
You become what I call a seeker.
Now you're getting in theproblem solving mode.
When you're aware and curious,now you're a seeker.
And now you're going towardssomething.
And now you're askingaction-based questions.
You're seeking for the truth,you're seeking for what's next,
you're seeking what you want andyou're being aware and you're
just being curious.
(21:25):
There's no judgment.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
You talked about that story 48 hours ago.
How did you become aware?
How did you recognize it,because it's probably a muscle
you have to train?
How did you?
Speaker 1 (21:36):
do that.
Yeah, I was like I just foundmyself spiraling right.
I'm like man, like I came upwith all the stories, like it
seems to be so easy for thisperson.
Everything's difficult for me.
Why am I even you know,creating this course like kind
of thing.
I'm like stop, like wait aminute.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
One of our worst, one of our worst critics is
ourselves, normally as we gothrough, and we have to learn
even then to recognize that,that that voice doesn't exist.
You, you started it off withsome of the symptoms and you
actually refer almost in notthat you were, but in
declarative statements.
Some people think they're I aman overthinker or I am a
procrastinator or I am aperfectionist, and so when we
(22:15):
recognize or label ourselves inthat negative space, then that's
going to be kind of where thedirection we turn, just like
looking at the line on the sideof the road as we're going to
move toward.
But if you can ultimately beaware, I love that be curious
and seek what you want as apositive.
I am a leader, I am a strongperson and I am successful
(22:37):
Ultimately, even if you takethat in the faith side that I am
a child of God, I'm not who I'mtrying to call myself in that
negative and that's not mespeaking.
That awareness is so important.
If you can find a methodologyto step out of that, inside of
that framework, to say no, no,no.
Let's become curious and seek asolution versus recognizing and
(23:00):
identifying with the symptomthat is there, I love that.
Thank you for sharing that.
Do you have a special story ora win with a client that you've
helped overcome?
That's been really a goodfeeling for you.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yeah, absolutely One of the folks that I've been able
to work with one-on-one.
There was a lot of very highperformer like uber high
performer and a very criticalfield, a lot of stress, a lot of
high performer like uber highperformer and like a very
critical field, you know, a lotof stress, a lot of high states
like literal life and deathstuff, and it came down to a lot
(23:34):
of communication.
It wasn't the skills that theylacked, it was the way they were
communicating with other people, not understanding how they
actually benefited best fromcommunicating or being
communicated to also.
So one of the first things Ihave people do and I work
one-on-one with them is do theEnneagram test, which is how do
(23:58):
you communicate, just naturally,how do you receive messages,
and it builds a lot of awareness.
It's in like, oh well, that'swhy whenever I talk to this
person like, or this type ofperson, or this communication
style person like it justbristles the hair on your neck,
and other people like it canjust flow.
So having that self-awarenesswas so powerful for this client,
(24:22):
they're like oh well, that'swhy it just automatically puts
me in the red when someonecommunicates with me like this.
And the beautiful part is onceyou understand yourself.
Now, now, now you got someinformation to work with.
Now you can be like okay,what's the truth here?
Like I know, I know I don'treceive messages, well, when
someone speaks to me, I don'tknow very flowery like it's like
(24:44):
, okay, now we got, we gotthings to do, like what, what
are we doing?
And so you can check yourself.
And I teach people in myframeworks to pause, like the
power of the pause, like insteadof reacting, like how do we
pause?
And I say the best way to pauseis take a breath, like just
(25:06):
take a breath, build thatnatural, build some time in to
respond instead of reacting,because reacting is just
impulsive, like we don't thinkabout, we just do it.
And how many times have wereacted, especially with our
words?
It hasn't been.
We've regretted it.
Like as soon as those wordsleave your mouth, it's like, oh
boy, I should not have said thatright.
(25:27):
So teaching people to buildthose pauses in and in the what
I always teach people, Iactually it's fun to like when I
do like a big like keynoteevent or even a workshop event
and I'm working with people andwhat, and I just drill into them
.
I make them repeat this back byabout like eight times during
the course of the thing ispauses prevent saying stupid
(25:49):
things.
Pauses prevent saying stupidthings.
People in the audience say itwith me, john, say it with me,
here we go.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Pauses prevent saying stupid things right, amen,
brother, there's no doubt aboutit, whether you call it the abe
Abe Lincoln rule, where youdon't hit that email send button
but pause, because it canprevent a lot of problems in the
future.
But once it comes out, it'shard to put it back in.
It's just like that toothpastethat you try to put back in the
(26:18):
tube.
It does not work, it's alreadyout there.
I love that.
I'm in the back of my mindrecognizing hey, I've done the
Enneagram test and I tend tosmile when I read the
differences inside of thosethings and just smile and say so
.
That's why I feel this way.
It's not really that I'm a badperson or a good person here.
(26:39):
It's just that I respond asthis type in certain ways.
And to your point thatawareness is so important, I
appreciate you share that.
Pauses prevent staying stupidthings that will stick with me
for a while, no doubt about itand being able to use that.
The last step that I findfascinating too of the six steps
(27:00):
is legacy.
You know, reaching your futurepotential and what that means.
Yeah, you talk a lot aboutintention of doing good in the
world.
Were you always that way interms of doing good or what's
what's there for you?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
So, at at the core, I always wanted to do good.
But you know, just justthroughout the course of my life
you know the the trials,transitions and traumas that
that had happened, the trials,transitions and traumas that had
happened I felt that it wassafer to build up this wall
(27:37):
around me.
I built up this very hardexterior with the goal,
subconscious goal, of not beingable to be hurt.
So the way I would, in, inerror, try to prevent myself
from being hurt was being verysharp with my words, just
keeping people at bay, and youknow, I had the mentality of I'm
(28:01):
going to, I'm going to shut theother person down quicker than
and not even give them anopportunity to hurt me.
So for a lot of, a lot of mylife, until until the moment I
was saved in in June of 2009,like I was, I was very much like
the apostle Paul.
(28:22):
Like I, I just, I just you wereSaul huh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was, I wasvery much.
I know I didn't sign anybody'sdeath warrants or anything like
that, but verbally, like I was averbal assassin, like I might
as well have been signing deathwarrants, especially like after,
like you know, I would reachout to people and like apologize
and like realize the impact of,like, the words that I said to
(28:44):
people had over the years, um,it was, that's so.
No, I, I wasn't always seekingto do good.
And then, once I was saved inJune of 2009, after, after my,
my best friend's, um,intentional overdose, it really
just opened my eyes.
You know, first thing, godshowed me how I was showing up
(29:06):
in my life and he was like, hey,let's get, let's get you know,
let's get you sorted out, buddy,because, buddy, because before
God can do work through you,he's got to do a lot of work in
you.
So there was a lot of justself-reflection and learning the
word and who the lord was.
Because, growing up, the faithsystem I I was raised in like it
(29:38):
wasn't really the loving father, you know it was what.
How can religion be used tomake you feel bad about yourself
, to have you fall in line?
That was the message I got.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
so, once, I said that word abiding was more about,
you know, harsh discipline thanit was about love and mercy,
exactly.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah.
So once I started learningabout that, that, that
unconditional love, that agape,that that really was what Jesus
came for, that I was like I wantto, I want to, I want to do
that, you know, because I wasshown that love, you know, and
(30:17):
that, and that forgiveness, youknow, whenever I I came back to
the faith and really startedlearning about what, what that
love really is.
So that's why I have such aheart to help people is because
I know how dark that feels, Iknow how hopeless that feels,
even with, you know, earningaccolades that most people think
are great.
Like so many of the accoladesthat I got, like I would get
(30:39):
them, I'd get a letter ofcommendation and I'd put them in
a folder and just stuff them inmy desk because I just didn't
believe I deserved it.
You know, I was believing somany lies of the enemy at that
time in my life and I just wasjust really numb and hollow.
So that's why now in my life,almost what 16 years later, I
have such a heart to help people.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
John, I love that and I love that the conversation
went there just a little bit,and that's a question that I've
been pondering.
In fact, again as we recordthis, I have a newsletter coming
out this week where I try toanswer the question.
You know, how do faith andbusiness, you know, work
together.
So let me ask you that question.
I know it's not part ofanything that we kind of worked
(31:27):
on directly with regards toelite level action, but how does
your faith impact your business?
Speaker 1 (31:30):
or vice versa.
Yeah, it gives me a first ofall.
It gives me a rock to fall backon, Because through so much of
my life I wanted to be, I wantedto be able to be the person who
was able to do it all.
I didn't need anybody else.
You know, I had that lone wolfmentality, Like I can do it,
(31:55):
that lone wolf mentality, Like Ican do it, and that's good to
be able to have that, that, thatchutzpah and that, that, that
grit to keep going.
But there's a big part of methat, when I recognize that I
just really need to surrenderthis to God and really lean back
on on on his grace and hisguidance and incorporate prayer
(32:16):
into like, what am I supposed todo next?
I pray a lot, I don't know whatto do right now.
What do I do God?
So incorporating that faith andit gives such a solid
foundation for me.
But also, at the end of the day, like, the Bible is all about
love and treating people withrespect and meeting people where
(32:39):
they're at.
Like that's a big thing aboutthe Bible that I think a lot of
people miss because so many, youknow, the biggest thing that
turns people off to Christianityis Christians.
Like let's be honest, likeChristians, are what turn other
people off to Christianity.
So if we can actually modellike that unconditional love and
(33:01):
meet people where they're at,which is exactly what Jesus did,
you know Jesus would eat withthe tax collectors, the
prostitutes.
You know the people thatsociety hated, he met people
where they were at.
So that's, that's at the coreof what I do.
That's what I do is I meetpeople where they're at, help
them figure out where they wantto go and walk with them as a
(33:23):
guide on that journey.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Of that.
I love that message.
Look the the, the Bible, as yousay, uh, is very clear, uh, the
word is is in there if we allowit to penetrate our hearts.
Jesus said it all comes down toreally the two laws, that's, to
love God with all your heart,all your mind and all your soul,
and to love your neighbor asyourself.
In terms of understanding thatthose two things, and if we can
(33:47):
do those two things as humanbeings, as Christians, the world
would be a much better place,recognizing that none of us are
perfect.
All the way back to thebeginning, I talked about
perfectionism and wanting to beperfect.
We're not perfect.
Hey, john, I appreciate yousharing that and really sharing
part of your story, part of yourjourney in that space.
You look back in this journeyfor you, just in the past two
(34:11):
and a half, three years, asyou've grown as a leader, as
you've grown, uh, in your role.
What's one message you know, ifyou look back at your uh, john
Lahr, three years ago, thatyou'd give yourself to say you
need to do this.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Oh, great question.
Oh great question, one of my,one, of someone who's become a
mentor to me, pastor Ken Burns.
He, when I talked with him, youknow where I was three years
ago.
I was still doing photographyand things just weren't working.
(34:49):
Like, no matter what I did, itdidn't seem to work.
And so I did what I always do Itried harder.
Right, it's kind of for thenext course you invest, you do
more marketing, you do morethings.
And what Ken told me was andthis is like a couple months ago
, like I wish I had thisinformation back then he said,
(35:10):
john, you got to recognize whenyou're experiencing spiritual
pullback.
And I said, what the you got torecognize when you're
experiencing spiritual pullback.
And I said what the heck doesthat mean, ken?
He said you have to be aware,going back to that awareness of
what's going on around you andhave that curiosity to realize
if things like are not workingout in one area of your life.
(35:33):
He's like, think of it like afaucet.
God's turning that faucet backbecause guess what?
He needs you to wake up andstart moving into something else
.
So if I had had that frameworkthat Ken shared with me a few
months ago, a few years ago.
That would have reduced a lotof just turmoil.
It would have put me into aspace of curiosity of like, okay
(35:55):
, what's god trying to teach mehere?
What's god trying to call me tonow, instead of just being like
, you know, just being like, oh,I'm not getting anywhere on the
hamster wheel, well, let me runa little bit faster, right, and
then eventually put me in aplace where, like I burned out,
I was like I did get rid of myphotography studio, so like I
wish I had that information ofif you're experiencing a
(36:18):
spiritual pullback, start beingcurious about and leaning into
and asking God where you need togo next.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I love that because, again, the picture that I had
was actually pushing againstthis door so hard that I'm going
to work, make this work, nomatter what.
And you know God's standingover here on the other, against
this door, so hard that I'mgoing to work, make this work,
no matter what.
And you know God's standingover here on the other side
saying, hey, john, I'm over here, this door is wide open, man,
and this is the door I'm takingyou through.
You're trying so hard to leanon your own understanding back
to scripture that you're notcoming back to me.
(36:47):
I love that, like, I'm closingdoors so that I can open doors
for others.
Look, the call was very simplewe were called to make disciples
of all, and not disciplenecessarily just of our own
self-generated things that wewanted to do, but to do what we
were called to do.
So I appreciate you sharingthat, and that's some wisdom I
(37:09):
could learn from myself as Ilook at some of the things that
I try to continue to work on.
Look, I think you're going tohave tremendous success in this
space, especially with theawareness and spirit that you
have that you're going after it,john, as a speaker, as an
executive coach, where can folksgo to connect with you and
learn more about you?
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Yeah, absolutely, it's very creative website name
johnmaloracom,J-O-H-N-M-O-L-L-U-R-Acom and I
have these.
I have the Elite Action FlightPlan there for free.
It's johnmaloracom slash freestuff.
They can click on it.
It downloads all the six pointswe talked about.
You know, the confidence, theaction, the momentum, focus,
(37:55):
structure and legacy.
Explains a little bit moreabout that and why that's
important and, more importantly,how you can start taking action
on those things right now.
And then, as a bonus, andthere's my three minute action
formula.
So johnmalluracom, free stuff,and they can download that elite
action flight plan and startmaking moves towards the goals
that they want.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
I'll be sure to put the link in the show notes, john
, so that they get to that.
And folks you know someone thatyou've listened to this message
that needs to hear it as well.
We need to get this message ofelite mindset, elite action into
the hands of so many leaders,especially again as we go to the
end, and who we're called to befrom men of faith standpoint as
(38:39):
well, folks who need to hearthat message in the times that
we're living today.
So, John and Laura, I have soenjoyed our second conversation.
I want to honor your time orI'd try and give you a hard time
about Penn State absolutelydestroying my Mountaineers last
year, but we'll get a chance totalk about that again.
On the third one, let's notwait two and a half years to do
(39:01):
that again, but I wish you thebest.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
All right man.
Thanks for the time.
Good seeing my brother.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
And that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon
Leader Podcast.
Thanks for tuning in today.
If you found value in thisepisode, I encourage you to
share it with your friends,colleagues or anyone else who
could benefit from the insightsand inspiration we've shared.
Also, if you have a moment, I'dgreatly appreciate if you could
leave a rating and review onyour favorite podcast platform.
Your feedback not only helps usto improve, but it also helps
(39:30):
others discover the podcast andjoin our growing community of
uncommon leaders.
Until next time, go and growchampions.
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