September 12, 2023 • 32 mins
Welcome Back, Uncommon Leaders!!
Have you ever wondered what it takes to achieve success AND fulfillment in the corporate world? That's exactly what my special guest, Vidya Raman, author of Lucky You An Insider's Guide to Achieving Success and Finding Fulfillment in the Corporate World, unravels in this enlightening conversation. Shaped by her father's inspiring rags-to-riches story, Vidya shares how it moulded her drive and ambition, and talks candidly about the importance of relentless hard work and dedication overriding any luck factor. We delve into the significance of self-awareness, setting expectations, and the transformative impact of giving and receiving feedback.
In the second half, Vidya illuminates the path of her self-discovery journey, sharing how she learned to manage her emotions and master her career. She provides insight into her potent five-step SHIFT framework, a tool that helps identify your strengths, weaknesses, interests, and natural wiring to uncover your unique definition of success. As we conclude this fascinating dialogue, Vidya guides us on how to become a subject matter expert, indispensable, and adaptable to different roles, all while maintaining a work-life balance. She shares anecdotal experiences about coaching individuals to gain more confidence in their professional lives and assisting them in recognizing their own blind spots. Tune in to this enriching discussion that offers valuable insights into achieving success and fulfillment in your professional journey.
Vidya's website
Lucky You on Amazon
Vidya Raman on LinkedIn
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
John Gallagher (00:01):
Hey, uncommon Leaders, welcome back.
This is the Uncommon Leaderpodcast and I'm your host, john
Gallagher.
Today I've got a very specialguest the inspiring and
insightful Vidya Rahman.
Vidya is an author, speaker andthought leader in the field of
personal growth and leadershipdevelopment.
Her book Lucky you andInsider's Guide to Achieving
Success and Finding Fulfillmentin the Corporate World is out,
(00:22):
and I couldn't be more excitedto dive into the wisdom she has
to share.
In this episode, vidya opens upabout her personal journey, the
challenges she faced in hercareer and how she discovered
the keys to unlocking successand fulfillment.
We'll explore the power ofself-awareness, the importance
of setting expectations and theimpact of giving and receiving
feedback.
Let's get started.
(00:43):
Vidya Rahman, welcome to theUncommon Leader podcast.
It's such a pleasure to haveyou on the show.
How are you doing today?
Vidya Raman (00:56):
I'm doing well.
Thank you, John, for having me.
It's an honor to be on yourshow.
John Gallagher (01:00):
Well, I appreciate that.
I'm looking forward to ourconversation today.
We're going to talk about yourbook Lucky you I love the title
of that book as we go forward,but before we do that, I'm going
to start you off.
I'm not giving you any breaksor anything else.
You're going to be just likeall my other first-time guests
and answer my traditionalquestion for you to tell me a
story from your childhood thatstill impacts who you are as a
(01:21):
person or as a leader today.
Vidya Raman (01:24):
Story.
So from a story perspective,let me talk about my father.
Actually, I had what I call avery typical protected,
sheltered upbringing in India,but the biggest influence in my
life was my father.
He made it a point to tell hischildren about his life as we
(01:46):
were growing up.
What I learned from my fatherwas hard work was everything,
and everybody can get out of achallenging situation if you
work hard.
That was a work ethic that wegrew up with.
My dad had what I call a truerags to riches story.
His childhood was all about hedidn't know where his next meal
(02:06):
was coming from, and then hefound his way.
It was education.
He did what he had to do to getthat education and then he made
it.
So he made it a point to keepall of us who were relatively
privileged growing up on thesame trajectory.
He didn't want us to lose thatenergy and that momentum that
(02:26):
somebody who's really hungry has.
He wanted to make sure westayed hungry.
So for me, my childhood memoryis all about my dad.
Every time I said somethingthat was remotely smart or used
a good English vocabulary word,he was so impressed he would
shake hands.
I mean, he was odd that way,but he would say, oh my God,
(02:48):
that's a great word.
As I became older, he would saythings like one day, vidya, you
will be in the United Nationsspeaking and your old father
will come to hear you speak.
And I don't know why those daysI would laugh at it.
But what he was doing wasinspiring me, step by step,
sowing the seed, that, yes,there is greatness waiting for
(03:12):
you.
Be ambitious, be driven.
And he had a way of encouragingme, and I tell you his
parenting style was odd, becausehe would also say things like
which, today, parents may notsay if I wasn't doing well or if
I wasn't being perceived asambitious.
He would say things like howcan a lion's daughter be a lamb?
(03:35):
You know, and I'm like I don'tknow what that means, but I
would think, oh my God, my dad'sa little disappointed, I need
to work a little harder.
But in a way, he kept memotivated and charged and that
is the childhood energy withwhich I came into this country
as an adult.
And I brought that energy, thatwork ethic, that, yes,
(03:57):
education sets you up forsuccess, working hard sets you
up for success, and that's whereI began my corporate America
journey in the US.
So my dad really molded me tobelieve in education and hard
work.
John Gallagher (04:13):
I love that and as I listen to that and think
about setting the expectationsfor our kids, right, that there
is greatness.
I love the word that you usegreatness.
I heard inspiring, I heardencouraging, I heard motivating.
Even in providing feedback,when we needed maybe a kick in
the tail or a message that weweren't quite holding our end up
(04:34):
on that expectation, that wasthere.
So I am absolutely sure thatthat's impacted you, and my
guess is it's had an impact,because I know that writing a
book is not easy, that it takesa lot of hard work to write a
book as well.
So your book is Lucky you, aninsider's guide to achieving
success and finding fulfillmentin the corporate world.
So many listeners that are onthe Uncommon Leader podcast are
(04:57):
leaders in the corporate worldtoday, and one of the words they
probably wouldn't use is Lucky.
So let's start off right offthe bat with your title Lucky
you.
What does it mean Lucky you interms of the title of the book?
How'd you get that?
Vidya Raman (05:10):
Right.
When I came up with the title,I was a firm believer in
creating your own luck, but Iwasn't there though.
I wasn't there at the beginningof my journey Now.
I had a pretty good start incorporate America.
I worked hard, I producedresults, I got some promotions.
But there was a long patch whereI felt, no matter how hard I
(05:32):
worked, no matter the results, Ifelt I stagnated and I couldn't
express my true potential.
Right, who am I?
And I felt like everybody elseseemed to be getting ahead, but
I wasn't moving ahead.
So there was a little bit ofthat unhappiness that took over
my life.
And when I used to seeannouncements on LinkedIn about
(05:54):
somebody's promotion, a littlebit of bitterness in me would
say they're just lucky, rightplace at the right time.
Lucky, maybe they belong tosome clique, that's why they got
ahead.
Or sometimes I would even sayyou know, you can kiss, you know
what to get ahead in corporateAmerica.
I was somewhat jaded by thatpoint, but I tell you, I saw
(06:15):
this quote and in hindsight itapplies to where I was.
Deep pain of unexpressedpotential can push you in
directions that help you, like Ithink pain really, really
pushes you, because this is a Ithink it's a Michael Beckwith
quote pain pushes you until avision pulls you.
So when I was being pushed bythe pain of invisibility, I
(06:40):
reached out to all the self helpgurus out there.
I had Dr Wayne Dyer, oprahWinfrey.
I listened to tapes and youknow, those days we had CDs.
I should listen on the car, onmy drive to work, and these
leaders taught me things likeself awareness.
Then I realized, wait, maybe I'mnot getting ahead because I
(07:01):
don't know who I am, what are mystrengths and what are my blind
spots.
And I and I really reflected onthat and once I figured out
what exactly it takes to getahead and I look back at all
those people who I labeled asjust lucky I said no, these
people were not just lucky.
They played the game well, theypaid attention to what was
(07:24):
going on, they studied theindustry.
They were also, they came withthe right attitude and then they
showcased the strengths thatthey crafted to the right people
at the right time to get ahead.
What I didn't have was thatwhole skill to navigate.
And that's when I realized thesepeople were not just lucky.
(07:45):
They created their own luck,they paid attention to their
environment and they paidattention to themselves.
And once I started doing that,things started changing for me.
I started getting ahead.
So then I realized it's allabout creating luck.
Okay, why not take that luckyyou you got ahead or lucky you
(08:06):
you have the new car?
As these people didn't just getluck, they worked for it, they
worked hard for it, they createdthe luck with strategy and
precision, and that's the wholeorigin of my book.
I don't think lucky is somehappenstance thing.
You can.
You have it in you to controlwhat you can control, to create
(08:26):
your luck.
So that was the origin.
John Gallagher (08:28):
I love that.
So you turn that around you.
Actually you have the abilityto create your own luck.
We're going to talk about theframework of your book here in a
little bit as to how you dothat, how you create your own
luck.
But you talked about the useterm self awareness and in your
introduction you actually talkabout it sounds like a moment in
which like literally, was amoment when you became self
(08:50):
aware.
Was it a piece of feedback froma supervisor or performance
where you were looking to get apromotion that you didn't get?
I think you talked a little bitabout that story.
Vidya Raman (08:59):
Well, there were many moments.
It took me a collection ofmoments.
I remember when somebody Itrained got ahead and I did not.
That was a deeply low point inmy life, I would call it.
But I remember at that pointand I was already into myself
help books and I said you knowwhat?
Let me go speak to my managerand give them evidence of my
(09:22):
contributions and do all that.
I was ready, I scheduled thecall but I wasn't prepared.
I wasn't prepared the way Ishould have been and being in a
very emotional state, lack ofself mastery, lack of self
regulation.
Instead of saying what I wantedto say, I just went off on a
tangent, airing my grievances,talking about all the unfair
(09:45):
things I perceived happening tome.
Here I was, all the tearsrolling down my face.
I realized, wow, here I'm,somebody who wants to be
promoted to leadership.
I'm sitting here with tearsrolling down my face and talking
about how unfair the world wasand I thought you're not getting
that promotion.
But I realized I had to work onmyself.
(10:09):
I needed to have the selfmastery, the self regulation,
being prepared.
Just having a few notes didn'thelp the situation.
It's a highly competitive place, corporate America, in case
people don't know that.
I mean you have very few spotsin the leadership thing and you
got to win that spot.
You got to earn that spot andyou can't just expect hard work
(10:33):
and results to pay off.
You got to work the system in asmart way, ethical way, but you
still have to work it.
You got to show like you'recomposed.
You have the right composure.
So I blew that opportunity.
But I realized and my boss wasvery kind, he felt sad for me
and he said keep doing whatyou're doing.
You're doing very well, it'llcome.
But one thing led to anotherthing my own limitations kept me
(10:55):
where I was until and I've hadsome seriously embarrassing
moments where people come andsay after all these years, this
is all the title you have.
I mean, these things kind ofhit me hard.
I did what some people do today, which is I disengage.
I said you know what?
I'm not working hard anymore,it's pointless.
But then I realized nobody elsewas really getting hurt.
(11:16):
I was getting hurt.
My growth is stalled becauseI'm mad at somebody.
I'm like that's, it makes nosense.
So I realized I got to throw myenergy into the right things
and, as I realized, once Irealized a little bit of self
regulation, self mastery, andthen I played the cards a whole
lot better to start making adent and my career trajectory
(11:40):
did change and shift a whole lot.
But I was taking notes when allthat was happening.
John Gallagher (11:46):
That's great.
So you and I talked, before wehit the record button, about a
mutual mentor or influencerauthor that we tend to follow,
rory Vaden, and one of thethings I said to you before is
that one of the quotes thatreally struck me from him was
that people are most powerfullypositioned to help the person
that they used to be.
So is that who this book is for?
(12:06):
Oh, yes, it's for you.
Vidya Raman (12:09):
That book is for me .
That book was exactly for whereI was years ago, struggling,
feeling if only I get thatopportunity to express who I
truly am and what I'm capable ofand the leader I deserve to be.
But you were not getting ahead.
It's for that pain thatsomebody is facing today,
because I know what it is towalk in that pain.
(12:29):
And this book is for thatperson who's driven, who's
ambitious, but just doesn't knowhow to set the stage to get
ahead.
John Gallagher (12:37):
I love that, I love that.
Ok, so we talked about thatkind of that reason for action,
if you will, that the get aheadto grow, to continuously grow
Some of the things that get inthe way, some of the behaviors
that you talk about to get inthe way.
So you know, how do leaders,the ones that are listening, how
do they get out of that mindset?
You talk about a frameworkcalled a five-step framework,
(12:59):
called shift.
So tell me what shift is andhow people can get started on
that journey to get out of thatrut.
Vidya Raman (13:07):
Right.
I tell you you, if you onlyhave a view of where you want to
go, you are in a tough place.
You really have to know whereyou are.
So when you look at any map,this is where you're starting.
This is your starting point,your starting point.
If you don't know where you are, you won't know how to get to
the target goal.
(13:27):
So it starts with knowing whoyou really are.
It could be your strengths,your weaknesses, your interests,
your natural wiring right.
Do you work better in themorning or you work better in
the evening?
Are you an introvert, extrovert?
There's so much about you thatyou've got to discover.
And you know we're all lucky.
We have so many free testsonline that people could take.
(13:51):
Beyond that, you know yoursuccess definition has to be
your very own.
It cannot be somebody else'ssuccess definition, and I think
people get trapped becausethey're following the crowd.
Because what happens is, if youpick the wrong goal, the wrong
success goal that you need,you're not going to be a happy
(14:13):
person, you're not going to befulfilled.
I use the word success andfulfillment in my book title Two
different words signifying twodifferent other things.
If your success goal is clearly, uniquely yours, you will feel
fulfilled at the end.
If your success is somebodyelse's definition, you're not
going to fail it.
So it's self-awareness, diggingdeep into who you are, knowing
(14:36):
what your definition of successis.
I've had people who thought atraveling job would be super
sexy and they can do everything,and then absolutely detested
getting stuck in airports,staying in hotel rooms, all that
right.
So you really need to know whatyou want and it takes a little
bit of self-awareness for that.
The second thing that I said insetting the stage for success is
one is you know yourself andknow the people you work with.
(15:00):
I tell you the people you workwith whether it's your peers,
people below you in thehierarchy, above you in the
hierarchy, the corporate cultureHalf the time people at work
are moving around like robots onautopilot without paying
attention to what's going onaround them.
So I say self-awareness, socialawareness, because, remember,
(15:22):
there are very few spots as yougo up the hierarchy, remember
you've got to learn to work withothers, collaborate with others
, understand what is valued,what is not valued, and how do
you build relationships.
You can only get ahead ifpeople care about you.
So you have to invest in yourrelationships at work.
So that's a whole socialawareness thing, because I tell
(15:44):
you you know this so well, john,given your background and your
podcast is, people are all intotheir own heads and they're only
thinking about themselves.
In a conversation, if you shiftit to what does the other person
want I mean just what's in itfor them you can really build
strong relationships, you canbuild your credibility.
(16:05):
They will actually want to helpyou.
So those are my two thingsSelf-awareness, social awareness
get you off the ground and ittakes time.
It takes active listening, ittakes paying attention two
things Pay attention, see yourown triggers and pay attention
to the people around you andyou're really set.
It's emotional intelligencereally.
John Gallagher (16:23):
There you go.
Okay, I love the start to thatprocess.
One of the things you talkabout, even within that, is
Project you.
Is that really theunderstanding, or what is
Project you?
Vidya Raman (16:38):
So, first of all, my background.
I used to be a project manager,so people tend to work very
hard on these corporate projects, big transformational projects.
You get to the desired outcome,but why don't you treat
yourself as a project?
So when I say Project you, I'mbasically saying it's your
roadmap, You're all theactivities that go to
(17:00):
implementing the future you.
So goals could be smart goals,Like we talk about specific, if
you want to quantify, getting acertification, whatever that is.
But I like these futureidentity goals Like who do you
want to be in six months?
Who do you want to be in a year?
What's your ultimate vision forwho you want to be?
Those are my future identitygoals.
(17:23):
So Project you is nothing morethan taking you from right where
you are, meeting you where youare and giving you a
step-by-step plan to get to thatdesired outcome.
It could be as simple as I justwant a plumb project.
I want to lead a project atwork.
It could be a promotion andeventually I'm hoping everybody
(17:48):
builds all the right skillsemotional intelligence, knowing
the business, all of that to getto a point where maybe you can
start your own business at thevery end.
But you can't get there untilyou go through the steps of your
journey to really figure outwho you are, build your
resilience and your Project.
You goals are accomplished atthe end, but this is dedicated
(18:10):
effort.
In your time managementquadrants it's every day.
Spend some time in growing anddeveloping yourself.
John Gallagher (18:19):
I love that.
I love, I mean every day youspend some time growing.
I project you.
I mean, again, understandingwhere you are, where you need to
be very powerful.
The framework you talk about inshift set the stage for success
.
You talked about that harnesshidden gems, ignite your power,
forge your path to fulfillmentand thrive and flourish.
So I would love to be able tohave the time to talk about all
(18:40):
five of those points.
We don't have the time in thepodcast today.
But you talked about settingthe stage for success and I'm
very intrigued by the last stepin the process that you coach,
and that's thrive and flourish.
So how do you know when you getto the point where you thrive
and you flourish?
Vidya Raman (18:56):
Good, very, very good question.
So the first four steps, john,is for a corporate employee to
see those earlier steps resultin some outcome, because you're
not going to believe a processuntil you see results right.
So, when you finish with F,forge your path.
What you've done is you'vebuilt up the future, you, the
(19:16):
way of doing business, the wayof living, the way of operating.
When you get to thrive andflourish, you are now a more
complete person, a person incontrol of their own destiny,
like you know when we talk aboutan external locus of control
versus an internal locus ofcontrol, knowing what you can
control and what you cannotcontrol.
So once you learn, once you'vefigured out the stronger you,
(19:41):
now that you know who, thestronger you is, what you can
accomplish.
You have confidence in and inyour own power.
And guess what?
The sky is the limit, right?
You now know I've gone throughall these steps.
I have actually become a muchsmarter strategic person.
Now, where will I take mygrowth?
Right, I can.
(20:01):
Now I have all the tools I needto thrive and flourish.
So it could be you keep workingon.
Maybe you're a manager, maybeyour goal is just the corporate
ladder.
Yes, you become the director,you become the assistant vice
president, you become the vicepresident, or it could be, as
you're going up this ladder,you're suddenly discovering
things about you that you didn'tknow previously, because now
(20:23):
you have more data points.
Suddenly people are reacting toyou and saying you know, you
are amazing coach.
Right, you are.
You've been so helpful.
Why don't you train my team?
Suddenly somebody's opening updoors for you that previously
never opened.
So you may be in the technicalfield and suddenly you're
coaching a group of 20.
Like, how did that happen?
(20:43):
Because you built up thisperson and now you're suddenly
you're seeing doors you neversaw before.
So then you go off on thattrajectory.
Or maybe your goal is notcorporate goals.
Your goal is a balance betweenall your domains your personal
life, your family life, fun andplay.
You want a very optimallifestyle.
(21:04):
You have a vision of alifestyle, so you don't want to
spend 14 hours a day at work,right?
So then that's fulfillment foryou.
That's your definition ofsuccess.
You're saying I just want tokeep my job, but I will do my
best.
Make myself a subject matterexpert in one particular area,
kind of make yourselfindispensable.
(21:25):
Yes, be adaptable, learn yourskills, but for the most part,
you are happy with the lifestyleyou've drawn for yourself and
that's good enough, right?
It's perfect for you.
So you're thriving andflourishing because you've
balanced all the domains of yourlife, including keeping the job
where your leaders respect you,they respect your expertise.
So so many different paths tothriving and flourishing.
(21:48):
It's your definition.
John Gallagher (21:50):
I love that and because it's not always that
people just want to rise abovethe rise of corporate ladder.
They want to thrive andflourish as a whole person, and
their work is not necessarilytheir life, but it's a vehicle
that allows them to live thelife they want to live as well,
and so you need to be good atthat.
But you also want to bebalanced in the areas of those
other accounts, if you will inyour life.
(22:11):
Love that Right.
I'm curious so you're a coachin that space.
You're a coach and folks in thecorporate world to do that.
Do you have a specific story ofan individual that you've
coached that was successful?
You don't have to share anynames or anything like that, but
just one that's kind of touchedyou in terms of their journey
and what they've gone throughand you've helped them go
through.
Vidya Raman (22:29):
Right, I mentioned a few in my book, but you know,
before I became a coach, I was amentor in my corporate world
and I tell you I have changedand I feel good about it.
This is where the satisfactioncomes from People who are shy,
and I'm thinking of this oneperson who could never bring
themselves to speak up in ameeting.
(22:50):
Right, how I brought them outof the shell to the point and I
would see the shift in thepersona of that person now being
a confident person, speakingtheir mind, bringing their
expertise.
How did I do that?
Right, it's really giving themthese opportunities with
questions that lead to them togive them, to give me, a small
(23:14):
answer to something theyaccomplished, complimenting them
in a group setting.
It just builds their confidencelittle by little.
As you keep calling out to thisperson, suddenly they start
believing in themselves and theyshow up better.
I have helped people I meansmall things as a mentorship
where they always felt they weregetting pushed back, they were
(23:34):
not being respected, and I zonedin on you know, look at your
emails.
You know you have to earn thisrespect.
How are you communicating?
Sometimes, if you say too manysorry's and thank you's, you
actually undervalue yourself.
People say be respectful.
So I have actually changedpeople's career trajectory to a
(23:55):
point I get notes saying, hey, Ijust got promoted.
I want to let you know I gotpromoted, you know because and I
wanted to share this with youbecause managers typically don't
tell you what you're doingwrong, which is and there are
many reasons why sometimesmanagers walk on eggshells.
They don't like to tell you whatyou're really doing wrong, so
(24:16):
they kind of skirt the issue.
And sometimes people who arenot fully self aware, they miss
their blind spots.
And it's so important to tellpeople yes, you're good in this.
So because when people are like, why, flummoxed by, I'm doing
everything right, why am I notgetting ahead?
Why is they don't know?
You know, maybe in your emailyou don't check grammar.
(24:37):
You know people are reading whoyou are based on one email and
making a decision on you're notsuch a professional, these
things.
So know how you show up at work.
How are you being perceived?
Are you being respectful tosomebody else when they're
sharing their opinion, askingfollow up questions, all these
little things?
Because you come across as aleader when you do that.
(24:58):
So you got to show it to peopleIf you just give them a little
nudge, you'll start seeingtransformations happen.
Anyway, so you know, I tell youone thing Sometimes I feel a
managers didn't choosepoliteness so much In a very
politically correct environment.
Maybe you can save people a lotof time and pain by giving them
(25:21):
honest feedback and tell themwhy you're giving them honest
feedback, because sometimes, ifyour intention is clear and you
tell them I really, really wantto help you, you are so good at
this You're probably not seeingthis.
Let me help you with somefeedback.
But it's lacking and you can'ttransform all managers.
John Gallagher (25:39):
So I tell you, grow your own self-awareness and
pay attention and ask friends,you know you have used that word
with me and I'm looking for mynotes here because I wanted to
use the correct term as I, as Iwrote it down, it was violent
politeness.
In terms of understanding, youhad talked to me about this
before when we did a previewcall and you know I, as I listen
(26:02):
through you, you're exactlywhere.
It's unfortunate that some ofour managers are not going to
give us the feedback we want,for many reasons because they're
insecure about giving and theydon't want to hurt people's
feelings.
And there's that difference ofbeing nice.
They're going to tell you thegood things but they're not
going to tell you what you need.
That are often not all what youneed to be better.
And, frankly, those who Iremember the most, the mentors
who I remember the most and havean impact on my life, are those
(26:25):
that have told me kindly, outof love, with candor, the blind
spots that I have, the areas Ineed to get better.
We could spend a whole podcastjust talking about that one
topic violent politeness.
I know we could receivinggiving good feedback.
It's so, so important.
So thanks for sharing the storyin terms of what you've been
(26:45):
through.
I talked about the books when Ihave authors on the show and I
had.
I had one author who talkedabout the one-year test.
Okay, so I'm finished with thebook.
I set it on the side.
It goes up on my bookshelf andOne year from now I'd look at
that, go across my books and I'mlike what's the one-year test
for this book?
Right here, when you see, whenfolks see this book sitting on
(27:08):
their bookshelf after they readit, what do you want them to
feel or what do you want them tothink and what do you want them
to do as a result of readingyour book with you?
Vidya Raman (27:18):
You know I want them to first.
Hopefully they're feeling like,wow, this book really helped me
.
It gave me practical tips onhow to, because books on
self-help can be verytheoretical.
But this is a practical bookand if they want to, I want them
to say you know what?
Let me see, what did she say onthe morning routine?
(27:39):
Maybe you know and go back andread that chapter.
So I want them to.
It's a very easy read and Iwanted it to be an easy read
because I tell you, you know,very few books get read.
Start to finish.
Read your favorite chaptersagain.
If you have to Refresh, if yourun into a roadblock at work,
(27:59):
come back to that book and saywhere am I in this journey, in
this five-step framework?
But let it be.
The questions that are there inthat book is for you to answer
in every stage of your career.
I've had people who sharedtheir progress reports with me
right after they read the bookto see, because they've been now
following some of the steps.
John Gallagher (28:18):
Oh yeah, now I know what she was doing.
Absolutely.
She's walking through thesesteps, absolutely right.
Vidya Raman (28:23):
So anyway, I mean it's, it's a good guide, it's, I
would say it's really apractical how-to book.
If they ever want to go backand flip through a chapter to
make sure If they're still ontrack, that's great.
But it's an easy book, so thefirst read is easy, start to
finish.
It's real-life examples incorporate America.
I mean, everybody experiencesthat.
(28:43):
But then you know, just see howfar they've come.
Maybe the other thing thatthey'll think about is wow, when
I got the book I wasn't so muchpain.
And look at me, now I'm reallyflourishing.
That should be a thought thatgoes through your mind.
John Gallagher (28:57):
Absolutely.
I love that.
Go from pain to thirst, theflourishing.
I love that as you go, and Ihope that's what they feel as
they read through it.
Look, I know I'm gonna suggestthat folks get a copy of this
book.
You can find it on Amazon and Ithink it's important the folks
I'll put a link to the book inthe show notes of the show, but
also video.
How do folks stay in touch withyou because I'm sure they're
(29:18):
gonna want to talk to you aswell.
Where can they find you?
Vidya Raman (29:21):
Oh, you can eat.
You can find me very easily onLinkedIn.
I happen to be lucky.
You know, vidya Raman is notit's a very common name, but I
managed to get the act.
Vidya Raman on LinkedIn.
I live in Charlotte, so it'seasy.
You know you have the rightperson, so LinkedIn is the best
way to get in touch with me.
I also have a website with myname, vidya Raman, comm.
(29:41):
So those two ways to reach me,absolutely.
John Gallagher (29:44):
Excellent.
I Will make sure both yourLinkedIn and your website and a
link to the book are in the shownotes.
But, yeah, I appreciate youinvesting your time with the
uncommon leader podcastlisteners today.
I'm going to finish you offFirst honor your time, but thank
you with the same last question.
I always ask my first timeguest as well, and I'm going to
(30:05):
give you a billboard.
You can place that billboardanywhere you want.
Charlotte's pretty busy.
You can put it out on 85, rightby the airport is always
traffic there anyway in terms ofwhat's going through and so but
you get to put any message youwant to on that billboard.
What is the message that youput on there and why?
Vidya Raman (30:22):
Okay, the message actually is one of my more
recent favorite quotes and Itell you the reason for picking
this quote is because I'venoticed corporate employees.
They tend to play small, theylimit themselves, self-limit
themselves from not reachingtheir true potential.
So this is the quote I wouldput out there.
(30:42):
It's from John shed, I think Ihope I'm quoting the person
correctly.
The court is this a Ship in theharbor is safe, but is that
what it was built for?
A ship in the harbor is safe,but is that what it was built
for?
Show up for what you were builtfor.
(31:04):
Show up in all your glory.
Do not limit yourself and staysafe in the harbor is my message
for people.
Because, I tell you, my biggestfear is and the reason why I
had shifts in my life is becauseI dread getting to the end of
my life, looking back and sayingI Did not take chances, I did
not live the life I should have,and that's what I want
(31:26):
everybody to experience.
At least they put in their best, tried, as opposed to settling,
and that's that's my vision foreverybody.
Love that video.
John Gallagher (31:35):
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for sharing with thelisteners the uncommon leader
podcast.
I actually I'm stuck on that.
I love that quote.
You know, show, show up as well.
I mean I hear that from you.
Don't, don't stay back in theharbor, show up.
But I wish you the best of luckwith the book no pun intended
on the lucky you and Goingforward as well.
So I'm glad that PattyConnected us and we get a chance
(31:59):
to talk today.
I wish you the best.
Vidya Raman (32:01):
Thank you so much, john.
What pleasure.
Thank you.
John Gallagher (32:10):
Well, that's all for today's episode of the
uncommon leader podcast.
Thanks for listening in.
Please take just a minute toshare this podcast without
someone you know that youthought of when you heard this
episode.
One of the most valuable thingsyou can do is to rate the
podcast and leave a review.
You can do that on Applepodcast, or you can rate the
podcast on Spotify or any otherplatform you listen.
Until next time, go and growchamps.
Hey, uncommon Leaders, welcome back.
This is the Uncommon Leaderpodcast and I'm your host, john
Gallagher.
Today I've got a very specialguest the inspiring and
insightful Vidya Rahman.
Vidya is an author, speaker andthought leader in the field of
personal growth and leadershipdevelopment.
Her book Lucky you andInsider's Guide to Achieving
Success and Finding Fulfillmentin the Corporate World is out,
(00:22):
and I couldn't be more excitedto dive into the wisdom she has
to share.
In this episode, vidya opens upabout her personal journey, the
challenges she faced in hercareer and how she discovered
the keys to unlocking successand fulfillment.
We'll explore the power ofself-awareness, the importance
of setting expectations and theimpact of giving and receiving
feedback.
Let's get started.
(00:43):
Vidya Rahman, welcome to theUncommon Leader podcast.
It's such a pleasure to haveyou on the show.
How are you doing today?
Vidya Raman (00:56):
I'm doing well.
Thank you, John, for having me.
It's an honor to be on yourshow.
John Gallagher (01:00):
Well, I appreciate that.
I'm looking forward to ourconversation today.
We're going to talk about yourbook Lucky you I love the title
of that book as we go forward,but before we do that, I'm going
to start you off.
I'm not giving you any breaksor anything else.
You're going to be just likeall my other first-time guests
and answer my traditionalquestion for you to tell me a
story from your childhood thatstill impacts who you are as a
(01:21):
person or as a leader today.
Vidya Raman (01:24):
Story.
So from a story perspective,let me talk about my father.
Actually, I had what I call avery typical protected,
sheltered upbringing in India,but the biggest influence in my
life was my father.
He made it a point to tell hischildren about his life as we
(01:46):
were growing up.
What I learned from my fatherwas hard work was everything,
and everybody can get out of achallenging situation if you
work hard.
That was a work ethic that wegrew up with.
My dad had what I call a truerags to riches story.
His childhood was all about hedidn't know where his next meal
(02:06):
was coming from, and then hefound his way.
It was education.
He did what he had to do to getthat education and then he made
it.
So he made it a point to keepall of us who were relatively
privileged growing up on thesame trajectory.
He didn't want us to lose thatenergy and that momentum that
(02:26):
somebody who's really hungry has.
He wanted to make sure westayed hungry.
So for me, my childhood memoryis all about my dad.
Every time I said somethingthat was remotely smart or used
a good English vocabulary word,he was so impressed he would
shake hands.
I mean, he was odd that way,but he would say, oh my God,
(02:48):
that's a great word.
As I became older, he would saythings like one day, vidya, you
will be in the United Nationsspeaking and your old father
will come to hear you speak.
And I don't know why those daysI would laugh at it.
But what he was doing wasinspiring me, step by step,
sowing the seed, that, yes,there is greatness waiting for
(03:12):
you.
Be ambitious, be driven.
And he had a way of encouragingme, and I tell you his
parenting style was odd, becausehe would also say things like
which, today, parents may notsay if I wasn't doing well or if
I wasn't being perceived asambitious.
He would say things like howcan a lion's daughter be a lamb?
(03:35):
You know, and I'm like I don'tknow what that means, but I
would think, oh my God, my dad'sa little disappointed, I need
to work a little harder.
But in a way, he kept memotivated and charged and that
is the childhood energy withwhich I came into this country
as an adult.
And I brought that energy, thatwork ethic, that, yes,
(03:57):
education sets you up forsuccess, working hard sets you
up for success, and that's whereI began my corporate America
journey in the US.
So my dad really molded me tobelieve in education and hard
work.
John Gallagher (04:13):
I love that and as I listen to that and think
about setting the expectationsfor our kids, right, that there
is greatness.
I love the word that you usegreatness.
I heard inspiring, I heardencouraging, I heard motivating.
Even in providing feedback,when we needed maybe a kick in
the tail or a message that weweren't quite holding our end up
(04:34):
on that expectation, that wasthere.
So I am absolutely sure thatthat's impacted you, and my
guess is it's had an impact,because I know that writing a
book is not easy, that it takesa lot of hard work to write a
book as well.
So your book is Lucky you, aninsider's guide to achieving
success and finding fulfillmentin the corporate world.
So many listeners that are onthe Uncommon Leader podcast are
(04:57):
leaders in the corporate worldtoday, and one of the words they
probably wouldn't use is Lucky.
So let's start off right offthe bat with your title Lucky
you.
What does it mean Lucky you interms of the title of the book?
How'd you get that?
Vidya Raman (05:10):
Right.
When I came up with the title,I was a firm believer in
creating your own luck, but Iwasn't there though.
I wasn't there at the beginningof my journey Now.
I had a pretty good start incorporate America.
I worked hard, I producedresults, I got some promotions.
But there was a long patch whereI felt, no matter how hard I
(05:32):
worked, no matter the results, Ifelt I stagnated and I couldn't
express my true potential.
Right, who am I?
And I felt like everybody elseseemed to be getting ahead, but
I wasn't moving ahead.
So there was a little bit ofthat unhappiness that took over
my life.
And when I used to seeannouncements on LinkedIn about
(05:54):
somebody's promotion, a littlebit of bitterness in me would
say they're just lucky, rightplace at the right time.
Lucky, maybe they belong tosome clique, that's why they got
ahead.
Or sometimes I would even sayyou know, you can kiss, you know
what to get ahead in corporateAmerica.
I was somewhat jaded by thatpoint, but I tell you, I saw
(06:15):
this quote and in hindsight itapplies to where I was.
Deep pain of unexpressedpotential can push you in
directions that help you, like Ithink pain really, really
pushes you, because this is a Ithink it's a Michael Beckwith
quote pain pushes you until avision pulls you.
So when I was being pushed bythe pain of invisibility, I
(06:40):
reached out to all the self helpgurus out there.
I had Dr Wayne Dyer, oprahWinfrey.
I listened to tapes and youknow, those days we had CDs.
I should listen on the car, onmy drive to work, and these
leaders taught me things likeself awareness.
Then I realized, wait, maybe I'mnot getting ahead because I
(07:01):
don't know who I am, what are mystrengths and what are my blind
spots.
And I and I really reflected onthat and once I figured out
what exactly it takes to getahead and I look back at all
those people who I labeled asjust lucky I said no, these
people were not just lucky.
They played the game well, theypaid attention to what was
(07:24):
going on, they studied theindustry.
They were also, they came withthe right attitude and then they
showcased the strengths thatthey crafted to the right people
at the right time to get ahead.
What I didn't have was thatwhole skill to navigate.
And that's when I realized thesepeople were not just lucky.
(07:45):
They created their own luck,they paid attention to their
environment and they paidattention to themselves.
And once I started doing that,things started changing for me.
I started getting ahead.
So then I realized it's allabout creating luck.
Okay, why not take that luckyyou you got ahead or lucky you
(08:06):
you have the new car?
As these people didn't just getluck, they worked for it, they
worked hard for it, they createdthe luck with strategy and
precision, and that's the wholeorigin of my book.
I don't think lucky is somehappenstance thing.
You can.
You have it in you to controlwhat you can control, to create
(08:26):
your luck.
So that was the origin.
John Gallagher (08:28):
I love that.
So you turn that around you.
Actually you have the abilityto create your own luck.
We're going to talk about theframework of your book here in a
little bit as to how you dothat, how you create your own
luck.
But you talked about the useterm self awareness and in your
introduction you actually talkabout it sounds like a moment in
which like literally, was amoment when you became self
(08:50):
aware.
Was it a piece of feedback froma supervisor or performance
where you were looking to get apromotion that you didn't get?
I think you talked a little bitabout that story.
Vidya Raman (08:59):
Well, there were many moments.
It took me a collection ofmoments.
I remember when somebody Itrained got ahead and I did not.
That was a deeply low point inmy life, I would call it.
But I remember at that pointand I was already into myself
help books and I said you knowwhat?
Let me go speak to my managerand give them evidence of my
(09:22):
contributions and do all that.
I was ready, I scheduled thecall but I wasn't prepared.
I wasn't prepared the way Ishould have been and being in a
very emotional state, lack ofself mastery, lack of self
regulation.
Instead of saying what I wantedto say, I just went off on a
tangent, airing my grievances,talking about all the unfair
(09:45):
things I perceived happening tome.
Here I was, all the tearsrolling down my face.
I realized, wow, here I'm,somebody who wants to be
promoted to leadership.
I'm sitting here with tearsrolling down my face and talking
about how unfair the world wasand I thought you're not getting
that promotion.
But I realized I had to work onmyself.
(10:09):
I needed to have the selfmastery, the self regulation,
being prepared.
Just having a few notes didn'thelp the situation.
It's a highly competitive place, corporate America, in case
people don't know that.
I mean you have very few spotsin the leadership thing and you
got to win that spot.
You got to earn that spot andyou can't just expect hard work
(10:33):
and results to pay off.
You got to work the system in asmart way, ethical way, but you
still have to work it.
You got to show like you'recomposed.
You have the right composure.
So I blew that opportunity.
But I realized and my boss wasvery kind, he felt sad for me
and he said keep doing whatyou're doing.
You're doing very well, it'llcome.
But one thing led to anotherthing my own limitations kept me
(10:55):
where I was until and I've hadsome seriously embarrassing
moments where people come andsay after all these years, this
is all the title you have.
I mean, these things kind ofhit me hard.
I did what some people do today, which is I disengage.
I said you know what?
I'm not working hard anymore,it's pointless.
But then I realized nobody elsewas really getting hurt.
(11:16):
I was getting hurt.
My growth is stalled becauseI'm mad at somebody.
I'm like that's, it makes nosense.
So I realized I got to throw myenergy into the right things
and, as I realized, once Irealized a little bit of self
regulation, self mastery, andthen I played the cards a whole
lot better to start making adent and my career trajectory
(11:40):
did change and shift a whole lot.
But I was taking notes when allthat was happening.
John Gallagher (11:46):
That's great.
So you and I talked, before wehit the record button, about a
mutual mentor or influencerauthor that we tend to follow,
rory Vaden, and one of thethings I said to you before is
that one of the quotes thatreally struck me from him was
that people are most powerfullypositioned to help the person
that they used to be.
So is that who this book is for?
(12:06):
Oh, yes, it's for you.
Vidya Raman (12:09):
That book is for me .
That book was exactly for whereI was years ago, struggling,
feeling if only I get thatopportunity to express who I
truly am and what I'm capable ofand the leader I deserve to be.
But you were not getting ahead.
It's for that pain thatsomebody is facing today,
because I know what it is towalk in that pain.
(12:29):
And this book is for thatperson who's driven, who's
ambitious, but just doesn't knowhow to set the stage to get
ahead.
John Gallagher (12:37):
I love that, I love that.
Ok, so we talked about thatkind of that reason for action,
if you will, that the get aheadto grow, to continuously grow
Some of the things that get inthe way, some of the behaviors
that you talk about to get inthe way.
So you know, how do leaders,the ones that are listening, how
do they get out of that mindset?
You talk about a frameworkcalled a five-step framework,
(12:59):
called shift.
So tell me what shift is andhow people can get started on
that journey to get out of thatrut.
Vidya Raman (13:07):
Right.
I tell you you, if you onlyhave a view of where you want to
go, you are in a tough place.
You really have to know whereyou are.
So when you look at any map,this is where you're starting.
This is your starting point,your starting point.
If you don't know where you are, you won't know how to get to
the target goal.
(13:27):
So it starts with knowing whoyou really are.
It could be your strengths,your weaknesses, your interests,
your natural wiring right.
Do you work better in themorning or you work better in
the evening?
Are you an introvert, extrovert?
There's so much about you thatyou've got to discover.
And you know we're all lucky.
We have so many free testsonline that people could take.
(13:51):
Beyond that, you know yoursuccess definition has to be
your very own.
It cannot be somebody else'ssuccess definition, and I think
people get trapped becausethey're following the crowd.
Because what happens is, if youpick the wrong goal, the wrong
success goal that you need,you're not going to be a happy
(14:13):
person, you're not going to befulfilled.
I use the word success andfulfillment in my book title Two
different words signifying twodifferent other things.
If your success goal is clearly, uniquely yours, you will feel
fulfilled at the end.
If your success is somebodyelse's definition, you're not
going to fail it.
So it's self-awareness, diggingdeep into who you are, knowing
(14:36):
what your definition of successis.
I've had people who thought atraveling job would be super
sexy and they can do everything,and then absolutely detested
getting stuck in airports,staying in hotel rooms, all that
right.
So you really need to know whatyou want and it takes a little
bit of self-awareness for that.
The second thing that I said insetting the stage for success is
one is you know yourself andknow the people you work with.
(15:00):
I tell you the people you workwith whether it's your peers,
people below you in thehierarchy, above you in the
hierarchy, the corporate cultureHalf the time people at work
are moving around like robots onautopilot without paying
attention to what's going onaround them.
So I say self-awareness, socialawareness, because, remember,
(15:22):
there are very few spots as yougo up the hierarchy, remember
you've got to learn to work withothers, collaborate with others
, understand what is valued,what is not valued, and how do
you build relationships.
You can only get ahead ifpeople care about you.
So you have to invest in yourrelationships at work.
So that's a whole socialawareness thing, because I tell
(15:44):
you you know this so well, john,given your background and your
podcast is, people are all intotheir own heads and they're only
thinking about themselves.
In a conversation, if you shiftit to what does the other person
want I mean just what's in itfor them you can really build
strong relationships, you canbuild your credibility.
(16:05):
They will actually want to helpyou.
So those are my two thingsSelf-awareness, social awareness
get you off the ground and ittakes time.
It takes active listening, ittakes paying attention two
things Pay attention, see yourown triggers and pay attention
to the people around you andyou're really set.
It's emotional intelligencereally.
John Gallagher (16:23):
There you go.
Okay, I love the start to thatprocess.
One of the things you talkabout, even within that, is
Project you.
Is that really theunderstanding, or what is
Project you?
Vidya Raman (16:38):
So, first of all, my background.
I used to be a project manager,so people tend to work very
hard on these corporate projects, big transformational projects.
You get to the desired outcome,but why don't you treat
yourself as a project?
So when I say Project you, I'mbasically saying it's your
roadmap, You're all theactivities that go to
(17:00):
implementing the future you.
So goals could be smart goals,Like we talk about specific, if
you want to quantify, getting acertification, whatever that is.
But I like these futureidentity goals Like who do you
want to be in six months?
Who do you want to be in a year?
What's your ultimate vision forwho you want to be?
Those are my future identitygoals.
(17:23):
So Project you is nothing morethan taking you from right where
you are, meeting you where youare and giving you a
step-by-step plan to get to thatdesired outcome.
It could be as simple as I justwant a plumb project.
I want to lead a project atwork.
It could be a promotion andeventually I'm hoping everybody
(17:48):
builds all the right skillsemotional intelligence, knowing
the business, all of that to getto a point where maybe you can
start your own business at thevery end.
But you can't get there untilyou go through the steps of your
journey to really figure outwho you are, build your
resilience and your Project.
You goals are accomplished atthe end, but this is dedicated
(18:10):
effort.
In your time managementquadrants it's every day.
Spend some time in growing anddeveloping yourself.
John Gallagher (18:19):
I love that.
I love, I mean every day youspend some time growing.
I project you.
I mean, again, understandingwhere you are, where you need to
be very powerful.
The framework you talk about inshift set the stage for success
.
You talked about that harnesshidden gems, ignite your power,
forge your path to fulfillmentand thrive and flourish.
So I would love to be able tohave the time to talk about all
(18:40):
five of those points.
We don't have the time in thepodcast today.
But you talked about settingthe stage for success and I'm
very intrigued by the last stepin the process that you coach,
and that's thrive and flourish.
So how do you know when you getto the point where you thrive
and you flourish?
Vidya Raman (18:56):
Good, very, very good question.
So the first four steps, john,is for a corporate employee to
see those earlier steps resultin some outcome, because you're
not going to believe a processuntil you see results right.
So, when you finish with F,forge your path.
What you've done is you'vebuilt up the future, you, the
(19:16):
way of doing business, the wayof living, the way of operating.
When you get to thrive andflourish, you are now a more
complete person, a person incontrol of their own destiny,
like you know when we talk aboutan external locus of control
versus an internal locus ofcontrol, knowing what you can
control and what you cannotcontrol.
So once you learn, once you'vefigured out the stronger you,
(19:41):
now that you know who, thestronger you is, what you can
accomplish.
You have confidence in and inyour own power.
And guess what?
The sky is the limit, right?
You now know I've gone throughall these steps.
I have actually become a muchsmarter strategic person.
Now, where will I take mygrowth?
Right, I can.
(20:01):
Now I have all the tools I needto thrive and flourish.
So it could be you keep workingon.
Maybe you're a manager, maybeyour goal is just the corporate
ladder.
Yes, you become the director,you become the assistant vice
president, you become the vicepresident, or it could be, as
you're going up this ladder,you're suddenly discovering
things about you that you didn'tknow previously, because now
(20:23):
you have more data points.
Suddenly people are reacting toyou and saying you know, you
are amazing coach.
Right, you are.
You've been so helpful.
Why don't you train my team?
Suddenly somebody's opening updoors for you that previously
never opened.
So you may be in the technicalfield and suddenly you're
coaching a group of 20.
Like, how did that happen?
(20:43):
Because you built up thisperson and now you're suddenly
you're seeing doors you neversaw before.
So then you go off on thattrajectory.
Or maybe your goal is notcorporate goals.
Your goal is a balance betweenall your domains your personal
life, your family life, fun andplay.
You want a very optimallifestyle.
(21:04):
You have a vision of alifestyle, so you don't want to
spend 14 hours a day at work,right?
So then that's fulfillment foryou.
That's your definition ofsuccess.
You're saying I just want tokeep my job, but I will do my
best.
Make myself a subject matterexpert in one particular area,
kind of make yourselfindispensable.
(21:25):
Yes, be adaptable, learn yourskills, but for the most part,
you are happy with the lifestyleyou've drawn for yourself and
that's good enough, right?
It's perfect for you.
So you're thriving andflourishing because you've
balanced all the domains of yourlife, including keeping the job
where your leaders respect you,they respect your expertise.
So so many different paths tothriving and flourishing.
(21:48):
It's your definition.
John Gallagher (21:50):
I love that and because it's not always that
people just want to rise abovethe rise of corporate ladder.
They want to thrive andflourish as a whole person, and
their work is not necessarilytheir life, but it's a vehicle
that allows them to live thelife they want to live as well,
and so you need to be good atthat.
But you also want to bebalanced in the areas of those
other accounts, if you will inyour life.
(22:11):
Love that Right.
I'm curious so you're a coachin that space.
You're a coach and folks in thecorporate world to do that.
Do you have a specific story ofan individual that you've
coached that was successful?
You don't have to share anynames or anything like that, but
just one that's kind of touchedyou in terms of their journey
and what they've gone throughand you've helped them go
through.
Vidya Raman (22:29):
Right, I mentioned a few in my book, but you know,
before I became a coach, I was amentor in my corporate world
and I tell you I have changedand I feel good about it.
This is where the satisfactioncomes from People who are shy,
and I'm thinking of this oneperson who could never bring
themselves to speak up in ameeting.
(22:50):
Right, how I brought them outof the shell to the point and I
would see the shift in thepersona of that person now being
a confident person, speakingtheir mind, bringing their
expertise.
How did I do that?
Right, it's really giving themthese opportunities with
questions that lead to them togive them, to give me, a small
(23:14):
answer to something theyaccomplished, complimenting them
in a group setting.
It just builds their confidencelittle by little.
As you keep calling out to thisperson, suddenly they start
believing in themselves and theyshow up better.
I have helped people I meansmall things as a mentorship
where they always felt they weregetting pushed back, they were
(23:34):
not being respected, and I zonedin on you know, look at your
emails.
You know you have to earn thisrespect.
How are you communicating?
Sometimes, if you say too manysorry's and thank you's, you
actually undervalue yourself.
People say be respectful.
So I have actually changedpeople's career trajectory to a
(23:55):
point I get notes saying, hey, Ijust got promoted.
I want to let you know I gotpromoted, you know because and I
wanted to share this with youbecause managers typically don't
tell you what you're doingwrong, which is and there are
many reasons why sometimesmanagers walk on eggshells.
They don't like to tell you whatyou're really doing wrong, so
(24:16):
they kind of skirt the issue.
And sometimes people who arenot fully self aware, they miss
their blind spots.
And it's so important to tellpeople yes, you're good in this.
So because when people are like, why, flummoxed by, I'm doing
everything right, why am I notgetting ahead?
Why is they don't know?
You know, maybe in your emailyou don't check grammar.
(24:37):
You know people are reading whoyou are based on one email and
making a decision on you're notsuch a professional, these
things.
So know how you show up at work.
How are you being perceived?
Are you being respectful tosomebody else when they're
sharing their opinion, askingfollow up questions, all these
little things?
Because you come across as aleader when you do that.
(24:58):
So you got to show it to peopleIf you just give them a little
nudge, you'll start seeingtransformations happen.
Anyway, so you know, I tell youone thing Sometimes I feel a
managers didn't choosepoliteness so much In a very
politically correct environment.
Maybe you can save people a lotof time and pain by giving them
(25:21):
honest feedback and tell themwhy you're giving them honest
feedback, because sometimes, ifyour intention is clear and you
tell them I really, really wantto help you, you are so good at
this You're probably not seeingthis.
Let me help you with somefeedback.
But it's lacking and you can'ttransform all managers.
John Gallagher (25:39):
So I tell you, grow your own self-awareness and
pay attention and ask friends,you know you have used that word
with me and I'm looking for mynotes here because I wanted to
use the correct term as I, as Iwrote it down, it was violent
politeness.
In terms of understanding, youhad talked to me about this
before when we did a previewcall and you know I, as I listen
(26:02):
through you, you're exactlywhere.
It's unfortunate that some ofour managers are not going to
give us the feedback we want,for many reasons because they're
insecure about giving and theydon't want to hurt people's
feelings.
And there's that difference ofbeing nice.
They're going to tell you thegood things but they're not
going to tell you what you need.
That are often not all what youneed to be better.
And, frankly, those who Iremember the most, the mentors
who I remember the most and havean impact on my life, are those
(26:25):
that have told me kindly, outof love, with candor, the blind
spots that I have, the areas Ineed to get better.
We could spend a whole podcastjust talking about that one
topic violent politeness.
I know we could receivinggiving good feedback.
It's so, so important.
So thanks for sharing the storyin terms of what you've been
(26:45):
through.
I talked about the books when Ihave authors on the show and I
had.
I had one author who talkedabout the one-year test.
Okay, so I'm finished with thebook.
I set it on the side.
It goes up on my bookshelf andOne year from now I'd look at
that, go across my books and I'mlike what's the one-year test
for this book?
Right here, when you see, whenfolks see this book sitting on
(27:08):
their bookshelf after they readit, what do you want them to
feel or what do you want them tothink and what do you want them
to do as a result of readingyour book with you?
Vidya Raman (27:18):
You know I want them to first.
Hopefully they're feeling like,wow, this book really helped me
.
It gave me practical tips onhow to, because books on
self-help can be verytheoretical.
But this is a practical bookand if they want to, I want them
to say you know what?
Let me see, what did she say onthe morning routine?
(27:39):
Maybe you know and go back andread that chapter.
So I want them to.
It's a very easy read and Iwanted it to be an easy read
because I tell you, you know,very few books get read.
Start to finish.
Read your favorite chaptersagain.
If you have to Refresh, if yourun into a roadblock at work,
(27:59):
come back to that book and saywhere am I in this journey, in
this five-step framework?
But let it be.
The questions that are there inthat book is for you to answer
in every stage of your career.
I've had people who sharedtheir progress reports with me
right after they read the bookto see, because they've been now
following some of the steps.
John Gallagher (28:18):
Oh yeah, now I know what she was doing.
Absolutely.
She's walking through thesesteps, absolutely right.
Vidya Raman (28:23):
So anyway, I mean it's, it's a good guide, it's, I
would say it's really apractical how-to book.
If they ever want to go backand flip through a chapter to
make sure If they're still ontrack, that's great.
But it's an easy book, so thefirst read is easy, start to
finish.
It's real-life examples incorporate America.
I mean, everybody experiencesthat.
(28:43):
But then you know, just see howfar they've come.
Maybe the other thing thatthey'll think about is wow, when
I got the book I wasn't so muchpain.
And look at me, now I'm reallyflourishing.
That should be a thought thatgoes through your mind.
John Gallagher (28:57):
Absolutely.
I love that.
Go from pain to thirst, theflourishing.
I love that as you go, and Ihope that's what they feel as
they read through it.
Look, I know I'm gonna suggestthat folks get a copy of this
book.
You can find it on Amazon and Ithink it's important the folks
I'll put a link to the book inthe show notes of the show, but
also video.
How do folks stay in touch withyou because I'm sure they're
(29:18):
gonna want to talk to you aswell.
Where can they find you?
Vidya Raman (29:21):
Oh, you can eat.
You can find me very easily onLinkedIn.
I happen to be lucky.
You know, vidya Raman is notit's a very common name, but I
managed to get the act.
Vidya Raman on LinkedIn.
I live in Charlotte, so it'seasy.
You know you have the rightperson, so LinkedIn is the best
way to get in touch with me.
I also have a website with myname, vidya Raman, comm.
(29:41):
So those two ways to reach me,absolutely.
John Gallagher (29:44):
Excellent.
I Will make sure both yourLinkedIn and your website and a
link to the book are in the shownotes.
But, yeah, I appreciate youinvesting your time with the
uncommon leader podcastlisteners today.
I'm going to finish you offFirst honor your time, but thank
you with the same last question.
I always ask my first timeguest as well, and I'm going to
(30:05):
give you a billboard.
You can place that billboardanywhere you want.
Charlotte's pretty busy.
You can put it out on 85, rightby the airport is always
traffic there anyway in terms ofwhat's going through and so but
you get to put any message youwant to on that billboard.
What is the message that youput on there and why?
Vidya Raman (30:22):
Okay, the message actually is one of my more
recent favorite quotes and Itell you the reason for picking
this quote is because I'venoticed corporate employees.
They tend to play small, theylimit themselves, self-limit
themselves from not reachingtheir true potential.
So this is the quote I wouldput out there.
(30:42):
It's from John shed, I think Ihope I'm quoting the person
correctly.
The court is this a Ship in theharbor is safe, but is that
what it was built for?
A ship in the harbor is safe,but is that what it was built
for?
Show up for what you were builtfor.
(31:04):
Show up in all your glory.
Do not limit yourself and staysafe in the harbor is my message
for people.
Because, I tell you, my biggestfear is and the reason why I
had shifts in my life is becauseI dread getting to the end of
my life, looking back and sayingI Did not take chances, I did
not live the life I should have,and that's what I want
(31:26):
everybody to experience.
At least they put in their best, tried, as opposed to settling,
and that's that's my vision foreverybody.
Love that video.
John Gallagher (31:35):
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for sharing with thelisteners the uncommon leader
podcast.
I actually I'm stuck on that.
I love that quote.
You know, show, show up as well.
I mean I hear that from you.
Don't, don't stay back in theharbor, show up.
But I wish you the best of luckwith the book no pun intended
on the lucky you and Goingforward as well.
So I'm glad that PattyConnected us and we get a chance
(31:59):
to talk today.
I wish you the best.
Vidya Raman (32:01):
Thank you so much, john.
What pleasure.
Thank you.
John Gallagher (32:10):
Well, that's all for today's episode of the
uncommon leader podcast.
Thanks for listening in.
Please take just a minute toshare this podcast without
someone you know that youthought of when you heard this
episode.
One of the most valuable thingsyou can do is to rate the
podcast and leave a review.
You can do that on Applepodcast, or you can rate the
podcast on Spotify or any otherplatform you listen.
Until next time, go and growchamps.
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