November 9, 2024 • 27 mins
There are a hundred ways you can fuck up your relationship with your cuckolding desires - this episode will talk about one of them.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Venus Cuckoldress podcast, a place to
learn all things cuckolding forthe curious, for the passionate
and for the sexually empoweredwoman who wants it all.
Let's go, welcome to the show.
(00:32):
I'm your host, venus.
Thanks for joining me today.
Well, it's been like whatalmost five years since I
launched this show, and over thelast five years, I have
definitely talked a lot abouthow amazing cuckolding can be,
how it can be such an incrediblekind of bonding relationship
next level love, connection,trust all of that amazing stuff
(00:54):
and that people who trycuckolding and incorporate it
into their relationship canreally enjoy those benefits
together.
But there is a dark side to allof this shit as well.
There are 101 ways that you canfuck up your relationship by
trying to incorporate cuckolding, by weaponizing cuckolding, by
(01:18):
fucking shit up along the way,so we're going to talk about one
of those ways today.
So it's an important episodefor anybody who's thinking about
cuckolding in a relationship,or anybody for all the guys out
there who are fantasizing aboutcuckolding, thinking about how
to bring this into yourrelationship or whatever.
(01:39):
This is an important showbecause you need to do it right.
You can really fuck shit up ifyou don't do it correctly, and
so we're going to talk aboutwhat not to do during that
process today.
And what inspired this wassomeone actually.
She called into the show, lefta voicemail message and she's
fucking frustrated and upset anddoesn't know what to do about
(02:02):
her situation with her partner,who has this obviously fantasies
about cuckolding but is reallyfucking it up.
So we're going to talk aboutthat today.
That's what's going to betoday's show.
It's a really good one.
Make sure you listen up.
First I have a few announcements.
I have a live event that'scoming up on November 21st, so
(02:25):
mark your calendar for that.
It's a free live chat that'sgoing to happen in the Queens
Quarters community and it is inthe community.
If you just join, you can joinfor free.
There's a tab called liveevents.
Just click on that and join.
It's going to be 11 am Pacifictime that's 2 pm Eastern, and
(02:46):
that's November 21st.
It's going to be a live chatabout how to find the right bull
, so we're going to have adiscussion, but also it's going
to be a bit of a question andanswer format as well, very
casual.
So you're welcome to join in,participate, take notes, all
that good stuff.
So that is November 21st at 11Pacific time in the Queens
(03:08):
Quarters community.
Just go to venuscuckledresscomto join that event.
And oh yes, I mentioned this onthe last show, but I'm going to
mention it again because this isjust.
I'm really excited about this.
I've been waiting for theopportunity to get rid of my
fucking Twitter.
Twitter has just become such ashithole.
(03:28):
It's unreal.
I'm just not a fan at all, butup until now it's been like the
only place where you can go andget a lot of cuck porn.
Ok, there's a lot of cuck pornon Twitter, so people go there,
and so that's where you know Ihave to be.
So somebody who actually, Ithink is in my helpful cuck tier
(03:51):
or was in my helpful cuck tier,sent me a message and he was
like hey, there's this newplatform.
It's just like Twitter, iscalled Blue Sky and you should
join it.
And I was like OK, so I did,and it really does look and feel
just like the same layout asTwitter, but not Twitter,
obviously, minus the bullshitand they do allow porn.
(04:13):
So if you go in on the desktopapp and click the setting to
allow adult content, then you'llbe able to actually watch porn
on there on Blue Sky as well, beable to actually watch porn on
there on blue sky as well.
So there you go for all youguys who just want a wank
session, and that's where whyyou've been going to twitter
join me on blue sky.
This blue sky social is whatit's called, and my handle is
(04:36):
the same as twitter atcuckoldressv, so you can find me
there.
I'll put the link in the shownotes for today.
Join me, I'll follow you backon there.
Let's be friends.
It's a lot of fun.
So, 2025 goals ditch Twitter.
Last but not least, forannouncements, I just have a
quick favor to ask all of myfans who listen to the show If
(04:59):
you love this show, would youplease it's been a long time
since I asked for this favor, sopretty, please.
Would you please rate andreview the show on Apple
Podcasts?
If you use Apple Podcasts,could you please press that
little button, rate and review?
I would appreciate it so much.
(05:19):
It helps the show, it helpseverything, and so I would be
very happy if you do that.
All right, that's it forannouncements.
I guess it's time to just jumpinto it.
We're going to start out theshow with the listener audio
that came in through the Venushotline.
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Hi, I have a question that I don't know how to
address.
Hi, I have a question that Idon't know how to address.
Recently, my partner has beenchatting with people on Reddit
about how we're a couple andthat he loves seeing me in
pleasure or to be used.
The conversations typicallysegue into getting people to
describe how they would use me.
I've had gentle conversationswhere I've brought up cuckolding
(06:06):
, roleplay and scenarios before,but the conversation goes
nowhere.
My problem is not that hedoesn't want to talk about it,
but that he has theseconversations with people on
Reddit in secret and lies to meabout it.
Conversations with people onReddit in secret and lies to me
(06:31):
about it.
I don't know what to do and, ontop of that, our sex life has
gone from a few times a week tomaybe once a month at best since
he's been doing this.
Am I right to be angry?
What should I do?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Thanks, this story frustrates me on so many
different levels.
It is just beyond.
It is so hard for guys to finda woman who's open minded and
about learning about cuckolding,who's curious about learning,
who is interested in theirdesires and their fantasies.
It is so fucking hard.
(07:09):
I have heard this from men overand over and over for years.
This guy has that she's.
She wants to learn, she wantsto role play, she wants to talk
about it, she's curious to learnabout his fantasies and desires
around this and he is justcompletely fucking it up and I
(07:29):
don't really know why.
I think it's impossible for meto know just from this clip.
I mean, I don't know all of theother stuff that might be going
on in their relationship, anybackground, anything like that.
I don't really.
I don't know.
So it's impossible for me toknow why exactly he's doing this
, but it makes me upset.
It makes me upset on so manylevels.
(07:50):
So why is he lying?
Obviously, the lying is what'sreally bothering her that and
the decreased intimacy.
They're not having sex likethey used to be, which is a red
flag.
The lying obviously is a redflag.
But why is he lying about it?
Why the fuck is he notinvolving her.
Is he ashamed?
(08:11):
Does he have a serious case ofcuck shame that nearly all cucks
have and have to work throughand deal with?
Does he hate the fact that he'sinto this kind of fantasy
desire and he hates himselfbecause of it?
Is that why he's lying?
Is he so uncomfortable withsharing his desires that it's a
(08:32):
total fucking boner killer forhim?
Is it the secrecy that makes ithot, like the rush of an affair
or something like that?
Is it just?
Would it not be hot if she knew?
Is that what it is Like?
I am trying to figure this outand I'm wondering if this has
(08:54):
anything to do with this wordcalled candleism and I don't
know if I'm mispronouncing itbecause I've only just seen it
written, but I've seen it a fewtimes times and I've heard it
mentioned in the cuckoldingsphere realm.
I've looked it up and it'sbasically where, um, a partner
will seek out a third party toshare pictures or videos or
(09:19):
stories about his wife to a bulland the bull gets really
excited and the guy is allexcited and sharing those
pictures and it's this big hotfantasy talk kind of session.
Okay, that's candlelism and ofcourse, it's really really
(09:41):
popular in cuckolding, becausethis is all part of the dynamic,
though the cuck really wants toknow, you know, does this bull
think my wife is hot?
What does he want to do withher?
And, of course, in for thislistener, she said a couple of
times that these conversationsthat her partner is having on
Reddit with this guy is allabout asking how would you use
(10:06):
her, and so this is a wanksession.
I don't know if there's picturesor videos involved, but it
sounds a whole lot like thecandlelism that you see a lot in
cuckolding and this can be areally fun, great little game
for people to play, a fantasygame for people to play in this
lifestyle, as long as there'sconsent involved and for the
(10:29):
most part I think there probablyis consent where guys are going
online and sharing pictures oftheir wife to bulls and and
wanting to know, you know,jerking off to the reaction of
it all.
And I've spoken to a friend ofmine who's a bull in the
lifestyle and he loves thataspect of the lifestyle.
He thinks it's so fun to playthat game, like, yes, I want to
(10:51):
see pictures of your hot wife,like, show me, um.
But he was quick to say that ifit does not involve consent, he
wants nothing to do with it.
So if he gets any sort of sensethat this woman doesn't know
that, that this husband issharing pictures, that he's just
like fuck that, I'm not, I'mnot down with that and I'm
(11:12):
playing with that.
But he also did say that a bigproblem is guys who are sharing
pictures of a woman to the bulland saying how would you use her
?
What would you do to her?
Isn't she so hot?
Like, what do you want to do toher?
Is that these guys don'tactually have a wife, that this
picture is not actually his wife, that this is just some picture
he stole online or somethinglike that, or maybe it's an ex
(11:33):
or something like that, I don'tknow.
But I was like when he told methat, I just fucking laughed
because I'm like, of course thatwould be an issue, just like
there's all of these likepretend single cucks out there
who are, you know, looking totalk to single women who are
into cuckolding, just so thatthey can have these hot fantasy
(11:53):
talk sessions with her.
Meanwhile they're actuallyfucking married and they're just
pretending, just having wanksessions online.
It's the most annoying thing.
You guys just got to stop doingthat.
Just beat it like enoughalready.
But so there's good things andthere's bad things about this
whole, like you know, seekingout a bull to want to talk about
your wife and it being a wetand wank session.
(12:15):
So there you knowank session.
So if she is aware of it, she'sgiven her consent.
Yes, go ahead, share mypictures if you're chatting with
somebody online, and sometimesit can be really a good thing
because she can actually have aboost in self-confidence when
the husband shares oh look whatthe bull wrote about how sexy
(12:39):
you are and things he wants todo with you and stuff like that.
It can be a real big confidenceboost for women for that.
So there are good things aboutthat.
But if she well, I suspectthere's a lot of guys out there
doing this without the consentof their wife and I went a long
time ago.
I went on this so called chatforum for cuckolding.
(13:03):
Actually thought there wasgoing to be actual chat like
people actually discussingcuckolding on there, but no, it
was an entirely just like arunning, a super fast running
chat group of just straight upwife pics and bulls comments and
that's all it was.
So there was.
There was no women in that chatgroup and it was just, it was
(13:27):
just like jerk off sessionsnon-stop and I was like, all
right, well, that's, that's thatso.
But it made me wonder are all ofthese women aware that these
guys are sharing these picturesof them on there?
It made me really skeptical andworried and concerned that
(13:48):
there was a lot of this going onwithout the consent or
knowledge of these women.
So that could really be a darkside of cuckolding.
Is that what this guy's into?
Probably I don't think you'reallowed to share pictures on
Reddit.
I don't know, I'm not on therevery often, but if he's on
Reddit, he's probably on one ofthe many other websites where
(14:10):
you can chat with bulls andshare pictures, and so he's
probably enjoying that and hasbeen for a long time as well.
Has he been making up beforeher?
Maybe he was making up the factthat he had a wife and he was
engaging in all of this fantasytalk, probably, who knows?
But it is definitely a thingthat's going on out there.
(14:32):
So it's basically just sharingpictures for the reaction of a
bull that's like really hot fora lot of cucks and they'd get
off on it.
But, in this case.
Obviously, this is problematicbecause he's being sneaky about
it and lying about it and notinvolving his partner at all.
(14:52):
Or you know what?
Maybe he has no intention ofever incorporating cuckolding
into his relationship and hewants to be forever locked in
the cuck fantasy closet andthose fantasies shall never see
the light of day or be utteredin any conversation with a
partner ever, and that's allhe's ever been comfortable with
(15:14):
and all he'll ever becomfortable with, and anything
outside of that is far tooterrifying and a total fucking
boner killer.
Does that exist?
Yes, there are lots of guys outthere who have no intention of
ever, ever, ever, coming out ofthe closet to their partner to
themselves, ever.
(15:34):
There's a lot of single guysout there I know who I've come
across who have no intention ofever actually dating somebody
who wants to do this for real.
They just want to waste yourtime and talk fantasy, talk to
you endlessly for months onlineand just waste your time forever
.
It's unfortunate, but it's ahuge problem online and just
(15:57):
waste your time forever.
It's unfortunate, but it's ahuge problem, and I will never
forget the day that I actuallyrealized that.
I will never forget where I was, what I was doing when I
realized that there I was.
Like holy shit, like there'sactually tons of these guys out
there who have no intention ofever following through on any of
this, like I am simply justtheir fetish dispenser.
(16:20):
Waste of time, oh my God.
And that was pretty depressingand upsetting for me to realize
that.
But it's true, it is true.
So in order to try to answerthis question today, I did
consult lots of friends andfigure out kind of you know,
(16:41):
everybody's thoughts on this,and one was really great, so I'm
going to include that here.
He goes by the name of mr m,his wife goes by the name of mrs
a and they have lots of kinkywritings on fetlife together.
Their fetlife profile iskduoatl.
I'll put the link in the shownotes description notes for
(17:02):
today's episode, but this iswhat he had to say about this
listener question.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yeah.
So I thought it was a reallyinteresting question that was
asked and ultimately, you know,it's a situation that I think a
lot of people could relate to,but not maybe that particular
situation where you have afemale partner who has expressed
(17:31):
interest and a willingness to,you know, maybe not take it the
full level, but at least roleplay it and have those
conversations, and that's justnot a lot of.
Or that's not a situation wheremany men find themselves, and I
think even rarer is a situationwhere the female partner is
(17:53):
willing to express that level ofcommitment to this topic and
yet the male partner isunwilling to engage and, instead
of preferring to live in thefantasy reality, then experience
a deeper level of intimacy withhis partner, and to me this
(18:18):
really signals deepercommunication and relationship
issues.
You know, they should be herwillingness to explore this
fantasy with him.
They should be having moreintimacy rather than less, and
it just feels like there'sdeeper things that are going on
and I mean ultimately he bagshimself a unicorn and he needs
(18:43):
to pony up and, you know, spendmore time with her and try to
connect on that level instead ofliving in a purely virtual
world.
So base communication, base,foundational communication, I
think would really help.
And if they can't get there,then I'd advocate for her to
(19:05):
find somebody who has that levelof emotional maturity.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, Do you think that Cuck shame or how he feels
about his own desires hassomething to do?
Might have something to do withthe fact that he is kind of
pulling away from her when shebrings this up, or even sexually
with her.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
I think that that's.
I don't know that's hard for meto think that it's that Because
you know, here, in the intimacyof their own home, he's
unwilling to engage even with apartner.
You know it's one thing for youknow I hear the shame argument
(19:58):
a lot when it's like, hey, Idon't want to expose myself to
the outside world.
But you know, here he's notexposing himself to his own
partner, even when she's kind ofremoved the curtain of you know
, I don't know if she's going toreact negatively to this or
(20:18):
anything like that.
So you know he or she hasextended the olive branch and
he's unwilling to take it, so itdoesn't feel like it's a shame
thing.
Again, I think it's morecommunication.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, interesting.
Okay, well, thank you forsharing that with me.
I really appreciate it, havingyour perspective.
Of course, I'm happy to help.
The best part of that was he'sbagged a unicorn.
Now he's got a pony up, andit's true.
(20:50):
I mean, you have theopportunity right now If this
dude is listening, right now,you have the opportunity of a
lifetime.
You should definitely takeadvantage of it and stop fucking
it up Now to answer herquestion about what you know.
Should she be mad and whatshould she do?
Okay, yes, you have every rightto be mad.
He's being a piece of shit rightnow by lying and sneaking
(21:13):
around about this Reddit chats.
The dishonesty and the lying isa huge red flag.
Not cool for the relationshipwhatsoever.
I have zero tolerance for thatshit.
You should too.
The fact that he's notinvolving you and your sex life
is tanking is really not cool atall.
(21:34):
Now, I don't know if you have alot invested in this
relationship.
I don't know if you've investeda lot in your life together,
like share a home or kids, oryou've been together for a
really long time and likeeverything else other than this.
One thing is just reallyfucking fantastic.
If that's the case, well,obviously I would definitely
(21:54):
recommend a kink-friendlytherapist and I'll post a link
to that's the case.
Well, obviously I woulddefinitely recommend a
kink-friendly therapist and I'llpost a link to that in the show
notes for today, and that couldbe maybe something that you
guys could work out.
Maybe it is just a matter ofcommunication.
Maybe it is just a matter ofhim feeling shame about his
desires and he's got to workthrough that.
I don't know.
But straight up, I'm going totell you right now my first
(22:19):
reaction was just dump thefucking guy.
There are so many guys.
He's so replaceable.
There are so many guys outthere who are into this kind of
fantasy, who would fucking lovea partner who is willing to
learn and be curious about andlisten to and role play these
(22:42):
kinds of desires.
There are so many of themliterally so few women and so
many men and I know this becauseI have a matchmaking service
called Venus Connections andthere's always a ton of interest
from guys who really want tofind a partner who's into this
(23:04):
or at least open-minded tolearning about this, and there's
so few women signing up andit's always been like that
forever.
So if you are interested inlearning about something like
this, like you are a fuckingunicorn you absolutely are.
And this guy who you're with,he really needs to understand
(23:28):
how rare you are and understandwhat a situation that he's in
and he's so lucky to have youand in my opinion, he really
doesn't fucking deserve youbecause he's in and he's so
lucky to have you in it.
In my opinion, he reallydoesn't fucking deserve you
Because he's lying like a pieceof shit and he being sneaky
about it and in just going aboutthis all wrong.
So I think you deserve better.
That's just my opinion.
(23:50):
That's gonna be it for today'sepisode.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Make sure you go to Venuscockle dresscom.
That's where you can book fortoday's episode.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Make sure you go tovenuscuckoldresscom.
That's where you can book aprivate chat with me and you can
also join the Queens Porterscommunity and get all the
amazing benefits, like theprivate podcast and the helpful
cuck tier where you can get keyholding the private Snapchat
(24:12):
group, monthly private chatswith me and weekly live hangouts
and invites to special liveevents.
Oh, and you can also submit aquestion or confession for the
show.
Just go to venuscuckledresscomand click on the link that says
the podcast.
Make sure you follow me on BlueSky Social.
(24:32):
Yes, I said Blue said blue skysocial.
Fuck twitter.
My handle there is atcuckoldress v.
All right, that's it fortoday's show, you guys.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
This is the Venus Cuckoldress podcast, a place to
learn all things cuckolding forthe curious, for the passionate
and for the sexually empoweredwoman who wants it all.
Let's go, welcome to the show.
(00:32):
I'm your host, venus.
Thanks for joining me today.
Well, it's been like whatalmost five years since I
launched this show, and over thelast five years, I have
definitely talked a lot abouthow amazing cuckolding can be,
how it can be such an incrediblekind of bonding relationship
next level love, connection,trust all of that amazing stuff
(00:54):
and that people who trycuckolding and incorporate it
into their relationship canreally enjoy those benefits
together.
But there is a dark side to allof this shit as well.
There are 101 ways that you canfuck up your relationship by
trying to incorporate cuckolding, by weaponizing cuckolding, by
(01:18):
fucking shit up along the way,so we're going to talk about one
of those ways today.
So it's an important episodefor anybody who's thinking about
cuckolding in a relationship,or anybody for all the guys out
there who are fantasizing aboutcuckolding, thinking about how
to bring this into yourrelationship or whatever.
(01:39):
This is an important showbecause you need to do it right.
You can really fuck shit up ifyou don't do it correctly, and
so we're going to talk aboutwhat not to do during that
process today.
And what inspired this wassomeone actually.
She called into the show, lefta voicemail message and she's
fucking frustrated and upset anddoesn't know what to do about
(02:02):
her situation with her partner,who has this obviously fantasies
about cuckolding but is reallyfucking it up.
So we're going to talk aboutthat today.
That's what's going to betoday's show.
It's a really good one.
Make sure you listen up.
First I have a few announcements.
I have a live event that'scoming up on November 21st, so
(02:25):
mark your calendar for that.
It's a free live chat that'sgoing to happen in the Queens
Quarters community and it is inthe community.
If you just join, you can joinfor free.
There's a tab called liveevents.
Just click on that and join.
It's going to be 11 am Pacifictime that's 2 pm Eastern, and
(02:46):
that's November 21st.
It's going to be a live chatabout how to find the right bull
, so we're going to have adiscussion, but also it's going
to be a bit of a question andanswer format as well, very
casual.
So you're welcome to join in,participate, take notes, all
that good stuff.
So that is November 21st at 11Pacific time in the Queens
(03:08):
Quarters community.
Just go to venuscuckledresscomto join that event.
And oh yes, I mentioned this onthe last show, but I'm going to
mention it again because this isjust.
I'm really excited about this.
I've been waiting for theopportunity to get rid of my
fucking Twitter.
Twitter has just become such ashithole.
(03:28):
It's unreal.
I'm just not a fan at all, butup until now it's been like the
only place where you can go andget a lot of cuck porn.
Ok, there's a lot of cuck pornon Twitter, so people go there,
and so that's where you know Ihave to be.
So somebody who actually, Ithink is in my helpful cuck tier
(03:51):
or was in my helpful cuck tier,sent me a message and he was
like hey, there's this newplatform.
It's just like Twitter, iscalled Blue Sky and you should
join it.
And I was like OK, so I did,and it really does look and feel
just like the same layout asTwitter, but not Twitter,
obviously, minus the bullshitand they do allow porn.
(04:13):
So if you go in on the desktopapp and click the setting to
allow adult content, then you'llbe able to actually watch porn
on there on Blue Sky as well, beable to actually watch porn on
there on blue sky as well.
So there you go for all youguys who just want a wank
session, and that's where whyyou've been going to twitter
join me on blue sky.
This blue sky social is whatit's called, and my handle is
(04:36):
the same as twitter atcuckoldressv, so you can find me
there.
I'll put the link in the shownotes for today.
Join me, I'll follow you backon there.
Let's be friends.
It's a lot of fun.
So, 2025 goals ditch Twitter.
Last but not least, forannouncements, I just have a
quick favor to ask all of myfans who listen to the show If
(04:59):
you love this show, would youplease it's been a long time
since I asked for this favor, sopretty, please.
Would you please rate andreview the show on Apple
Podcasts?
If you use Apple Podcasts,could you please press that
little button, rate and review?
I would appreciate it so much.
(05:19):
It helps the show, it helpseverything, and so I would be
very happy if you do that.
All right, that's it forannouncements.
I guess it's time to just jumpinto it.
We're going to start out theshow with the listener audio
that came in through the Venushotline.
Here we go.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Hi, I have a question that I don't know how to
address.
Hi, I have a question that Idon't know how to address.
Recently, my partner has beenchatting with people on Reddit
about how we're a couple andthat he loves seeing me in
pleasure or to be used.
The conversations typicallysegue into getting people to
describe how they would use me.
I've had gentle conversationswhere I've brought up cuckolding
(06:06):
, roleplay and scenarios before,but the conversation goes
nowhere.
My problem is not that hedoesn't want to talk about it,
but that he has theseconversations with people on
Reddit in secret and lies to meabout it.
Conversations with people onReddit in secret and lies to me
(06:31):
about it.
I don't know what to do and, ontop of that, our sex life has
gone from a few times a week tomaybe once a month at best since
he's been doing this.
Am I right to be angry?
What should I do?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Thanks, this story frustrates me on so many
different levels.
It is just beyond.
It is so hard for guys to finda woman who's open minded and
about learning about cuckolding,who's curious about learning,
who is interested in theirdesires and their fantasies.
It is so fucking hard.
(07:09):
I have heard this from men overand over and over for years.
This guy has that she's.
She wants to learn, she wantsto role play, she wants to talk
about it, she's curious to learnabout his fantasies and desires
around this and he is justcompletely fucking it up and I
(07:29):
don't really know why.
I think it's impossible for meto know just from this clip.
I mean, I don't know all of theother stuff that might be going
on in their relationship, anybackground, anything like that.
I don't really.
I don't know.
So it's impossible for me toknow why exactly he's doing this
, but it makes me upset.
It makes me upset on so manylevels.
(07:50):
So why is he lying?
Obviously, the lying is what'sreally bothering her that and
the decreased intimacy.
They're not having sex likethey used to be, which is a red
flag.
The lying obviously is a redflag.
But why is he lying about it?
Why the fuck is he notinvolving her.
Is he ashamed?
(08:11):
Does he have a serious case ofcuck shame that nearly all cucks
have and have to work throughand deal with?
Does he hate the fact that he'sinto this kind of fantasy
desire and he hates himselfbecause of it?
Is that why he's lying?
Is he so uncomfortable withsharing his desires that it's a
(08:32):
total fucking boner killer forhim?
Is it the secrecy that makes ithot, like the rush of an affair
or something like that?
Is it just?
Would it not be hot if she knew?
Is that what it is Like?
I am trying to figure this outand I'm wondering if this has
(08:54):
anything to do with this wordcalled candleism and I don't
know if I'm mispronouncing itbecause I've only just seen it
written, but I've seen it a fewtimes times and I've heard it
mentioned in the cuckoldingsphere realm.
I've looked it up and it'sbasically where, um, a partner
will seek out a third party toshare pictures or videos or
(09:19):
stories about his wife to a bulland the bull gets really
excited and the guy is allexcited and sharing those
pictures and it's this big hotfantasy talk kind of session.
Okay, that's candlelism and ofcourse, it's really really
(09:41):
popular in cuckolding, becausethis is all part of the dynamic,
though the cuck really wants toknow, you know, does this bull
think my wife is hot?
What does he want to do withher?
And, of course, in for thislistener, she said a couple of
times that these conversationsthat her partner is having on
Reddit with this guy is allabout asking how would you use
(10:06):
her, and so this is a wanksession.
I don't know if there's picturesor videos involved, but it
sounds a whole lot like thecandlelism that you see a lot in
cuckolding and this can be areally fun, great little game
for people to play, a fantasygame for people to play in this
lifestyle, as long as there'sconsent involved and for the
(10:29):
most part I think there probablyis consent where guys are going
online and sharing pictures oftheir wife to bulls and and
wanting to know, you know,jerking off to the reaction of
it all.
And I've spoken to a friend ofmine who's a bull in the
lifestyle and he loves thataspect of the lifestyle.
He thinks it's so fun to playthat game, like, yes, I want to
(10:51):
see pictures of your hot wife,like, show me, um.
But he was quick to say that ifit does not involve consent, he
wants nothing to do with it.
So if he gets any sort of sensethat this woman doesn't know
that, that this husband issharing pictures, that he's just
like fuck that, I'm not, I'mnot down with that and I'm
(11:12):
playing with that.
But he also did say that a bigproblem is guys who are sharing
pictures of a woman to the bulland saying how would you use her
?
What would you do to her?
Isn't she so hot?
Like, what do you want to do toher?
Is that these guys don'tactually have a wife, that this
picture is not actually his wife, that this is just some picture
he stole online or somethinglike that, or maybe it's an ex
(11:33):
or something like that, I don'tknow.
But I was like when he told methat, I just fucking laughed
because I'm like, of course thatwould be an issue, just like
there's all of these likepretend single cucks out there
who are, you know, looking totalk to single women who are
into cuckolding, just so thatthey can have these hot fantasy
(11:53):
talk sessions with her.
Meanwhile they're actuallyfucking married and they're just
pretending, just having wanksessions online.
It's the most annoying thing.
You guys just got to stop doingthat.
Just beat it like enoughalready.
But so there's good things andthere's bad things about this
whole, like you know, seekingout a bull to want to talk about
your wife and it being a wetand wank session.
(12:15):
So there you knowank session.
So if she is aware of it, she'sgiven her consent.
Yes, go ahead, share mypictures if you're chatting with
somebody online, and sometimesit can be really a good thing
because she can actually have aboost in self-confidence when
the husband shares oh look whatthe bull wrote about how sexy
(12:39):
you are and things he wants todo with you and stuff like that.
It can be a real big confidenceboost for women for that.
So there are good things aboutthat.
But if she well, I suspectthere's a lot of guys out there
doing this without the consentof their wife and I went a long
time ago.
I went on this so called chatforum for cuckolding.
(13:03):
Actually thought there wasgoing to be actual chat like
people actually discussingcuckolding on there, but no, it
was an entirely just like arunning, a super fast running
chat group of just straight upwife pics and bulls comments and
that's all it was.
So there was.
There was no women in that chatgroup and it was just, it was
(13:27):
just like jerk off sessionsnon-stop and I was like, all
right, well, that's, that's thatso.
But it made me wonder are all ofthese women aware that these
guys are sharing these picturesof them on there?
It made me really skeptical andworried and concerned that
(13:48):
there was a lot of this going onwithout the consent or
knowledge of these women.
So that could really be a darkside of cuckolding.
Is that what this guy's into?
Probably I don't think you'reallowed to share pictures on
Reddit.
I don't know, I'm not on therevery often, but if he's on
Reddit, he's probably on one ofthe many other websites where
(14:10):
you can chat with bulls andshare pictures, and so he's
probably enjoying that and hasbeen for a long time as well.
Has he been making up beforeher?
Maybe he was making up the factthat he had a wife and he was
engaging in all of this fantasytalk, probably, who knows?
But it is definitely a thingthat's going on out there.
(14:32):
So it's basically just sharingpictures for the reaction of a
bull that's like really hot fora lot of cucks and they'd get
off on it.
But, in this case.
Obviously, this is problematicbecause he's being sneaky about
it and lying about it and notinvolving his partner at all.
(14:52):
Or you know what?
Maybe he has no intention ofever incorporating cuckolding
into his relationship and hewants to be forever locked in
the cuck fantasy closet andthose fantasies shall never see
the light of day or be utteredin any conversation with a
partner ever, and that's allhe's ever been comfortable with
(15:14):
and all he'll ever becomfortable with, and anything
outside of that is far tooterrifying and a total fucking
boner killer.
Does that exist?
Yes, there are lots of guys outthere who have no intention of
ever, ever, ever, coming out ofthe closet to their partner to
themselves, ever.
(15:34):
There's a lot of single guysout there I know who I've come
across who have no intention ofever actually dating somebody
who wants to do this for real.
They just want to waste yourtime and talk fantasy, talk to
you endlessly for months onlineand just waste your time forever
.
It's unfortunate, but it's ahuge problem online and just
(15:57):
waste your time forever.
It's unfortunate, but it's ahuge problem, and I will never
forget the day that I actuallyrealized that.
I will never forget where I was, what I was doing when I
realized that there I was.
Like holy shit, like there'sactually tons of these guys out
there who have no intention ofever following through on any of
this, like I am simply justtheir fetish dispenser.
(16:20):
Waste of time, oh my God.
And that was pretty depressingand upsetting for me to realize
that.
But it's true, it is true.
So in order to try to answerthis question today, I did
consult lots of friends andfigure out kind of you know,
(16:41):
everybody's thoughts on this,and one was really great, so I'm
going to include that here.
He goes by the name of mr m,his wife goes by the name of mrs
a and they have lots of kinkywritings on fetlife together.
Their fetlife profile iskduoatl.
I'll put the link in the shownotes description notes for
(17:02):
today's episode, but this iswhat he had to say about this
listener question.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yeah.
So I thought it was a reallyinteresting question that was
asked and ultimately, you know,it's a situation that I think a
lot of people could relate to,but not maybe that particular
situation where you have afemale partner who has expressed
(17:31):
interest and a willingness to,you know, maybe not take it the
full level, but at least roleplay it and have those
conversations, and that's justnot a lot of.
Or that's not a situation wheremany men find themselves, and I
think even rarer is a situationwhere the female partner is
(17:53):
willing to express that level ofcommitment to this topic and
yet the male partner isunwilling to engage and, instead
of preferring to live in thefantasy reality, then experience
a deeper level of intimacy withhis partner, and to me this
(18:18):
really signals deepercommunication and relationship
issues.
You know, they should be herwillingness to explore this
fantasy with him.
They should be having moreintimacy rather than less, and
it just feels like there'sdeeper things that are going on
and I mean ultimately he bagshimself a unicorn and he needs
(18:43):
to pony up and, you know, spendmore time with her and try to
connect on that level instead ofliving in a purely virtual
world.
So base communication, base,foundational communication, I
think would really help.
And if they can't get there,then I'd advocate for her to
(19:05):
find somebody who has that levelof emotional maturity.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah, Do you think that Cuck shame or how he feels
about his own desires hassomething to do?
Might have something to do withthe fact that he is kind of
pulling away from her when shebrings this up, or even sexually
with her.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
I think that that's.
I don't know that's hard for meto think that it's that Because
you know, here, in the intimacyof their own home, he's
unwilling to engage even with apartner.
You know it's one thing for youknow I hear the shame argument
(19:58):
a lot when it's like, hey, Idon't want to expose myself to
the outside world.
But you know, here he's notexposing himself to his own
partner, even when she's kind ofremoved the curtain of you know
, I don't know if she's going toreact negatively to this or
(20:18):
anything like that.
So you know he or she hasextended the olive branch and
he's unwilling to take it, so itdoesn't feel like it's a shame
thing.
Again, I think it's morecommunication.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, interesting.
Okay, well, thank you forsharing that with me.
I really appreciate it, havingyour perspective.
Of course, I'm happy to help.
The best part of that was he'sbagged a unicorn.
Now he's got a pony up, andit's true.
(20:50):
I mean, you have theopportunity right now If this
dude is listening, right now,you have the opportunity of a
lifetime.
You should definitely takeadvantage of it and stop fucking
it up Now to answer herquestion about what you know.
Should she be mad and whatshould she do?
Okay, yes, you have every rightto be mad.
He's being a piece of shit rightnow by lying and sneaking
(21:13):
around about this Reddit chats.
The dishonesty and the lying isa huge red flag.
Not cool for the relationshipwhatsoever.
I have zero tolerance for thatshit.
You should too.
The fact that he's notinvolving you and your sex life
is tanking is really not cool atall.
(21:34):
Now, I don't know if you have alot invested in this
relationship.
I don't know if you've investeda lot in your life together,
like share a home or kids, oryou've been together for a
really long time and likeeverything else other than this.
One thing is just reallyfucking fantastic.
If that's the case, well,obviously I would definitely
(21:54):
recommend a kink-friendlytherapist and I'll post a link
to that's the case.
Well, obviously I woulddefinitely recommend a
kink-friendly therapist and I'llpost a link to that in the show
notes for today, and that couldbe maybe something that you
guys could work out.
Maybe it is just a matter ofcommunication.
Maybe it is just a matter ofhim feeling shame about his
desires and he's got to workthrough that.
I don't know.
But straight up, I'm going totell you right now my first
(22:19):
reaction was just dump thefucking guy.
There are so many guys.
He's so replaceable.
There are so many guys outthere who are into this kind of
fantasy, who would fucking lovea partner who is willing to
learn and be curious about andlisten to and role play these
(22:42):
kinds of desires.
There are so many of themliterally so few women and so
many men and I know this becauseI have a matchmaking service
called Venus Connections andthere's always a ton of interest
from guys who really want tofind a partner who's into this
(23:04):
or at least open-minded tolearning about this, and there's
so few women signing up andit's always been like that
forever.
So if you are interested inlearning about something like
this, like you are a fuckingunicorn you absolutely are.
And this guy who you're with,he really needs to understand
(23:28):
how rare you are and understandwhat a situation that he's in
and he's so lucky to have youand in my opinion, he really
doesn't fucking deserve youbecause he's in and he's so
lucky to have you in it.
In my opinion, he reallydoesn't fucking deserve you
Because he's lying like a pieceof shit and he being sneaky
about it and in just going aboutthis all wrong.
So I think you deserve better.
That's just my opinion.
(23:50):
That's gonna be it for today'sepisode.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Make sure you go to Venuscockle dresscom.
That's where you can book fortoday's episode.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Make sure you go tovenuscuckoldresscom.
That's where you can book aprivate chat with me and you can
also join the Queens Porterscommunity and get all the
amazing benefits, like theprivate podcast and the helpful
cuck tier where you can get keyholding the private Snapchat
(24:12):
group, monthly private chatswith me and weekly live hangouts
and invites to special liveevents.
Oh, and you can also submit aquestion or confession for the
show.
Just go to venuscuckledresscomand click on the link that says
the podcast.
Make sure you follow me on BlueSky Social.
(24:32):
Yes, I said Blue said blue skysocial.
Fuck twitter.
My handle there is atcuckoldress v.
All right, that's it fortoday's show, you guys.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
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