July 7, 2025 • 24 mins
Weathering Financial Storms in Your Marriage :: [Ep. 276]
Come listen to this week's episode where we share biblical wisdom for navigating rising prices without letting financial stress damage your marriage. We are offering practical guidance for managing household budgets during inflation while maintaining spiritual perspective and marital unity.
We will cover the following:
• Five practical strategies for managing finances in uncertain economic times
• The connection between trusting God as provider and making wise financial decisions
• Creating a realistic budget that accounts for rising prices while prioritizing true needs
• Distinguishing between actual needs versus perceived entitlements
• The importance of maintaining kingdom mission despite financial limitations
• How financial constraints can actually strengthen family bonds and spiritual growth
• Practical budgeting tips including tracking spending and identifying areas to cut back
God wants to change our hearts to stop chasing things of this world and use our resources to chase Him instead. When we do that, complaints between spouses stop, and we develop a united purpose focused on the mission ahead rather than what we lack. We hope as you listen you will be greatly helped and encouraged!
For episode transcripts, click HERE.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy
Sellers.
Our mission is to help couplesdevelop biblically healthy
marriages through theapplication of God's Word and a
deeper relationship with Him.
We desire to help you and yourspouse grow closer to each other
and closer to the heart ofGod's design for your marriage.
Now here's David and Tracy withtoday's broadcast designed for
(00:27):
your marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Now here's David and Tracy with today's broadcast.
Are you struggling with therising prices of well,
everything?
It's one thing to know you havea steady job to go to in the
morning.
It's another to wonder if yourpaycheck will be enough to cover
all the bills.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
No matter how much money you have in the bank, most
of us are starting to sweat.
It's crazy what's happening tothe state of our economy,
especially not knowing how badit's going to get.
No matter how much I tellmyself to trust God that he is
bigger than a $5 gallon of gas,that won't even get me to and
from the store.
I've got to admit it's becomingmore and more of a struggle.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
We're going to share with you today five ways you can
take action to stay secure inboth your finances and how they
impact your marriagerelationship.
What are they Find out intoday's episode of Vows to Keep
Radio, the show where you getsound biblical counsel you can
apply today to your marriage?
We're your hosts, david andTracy Sellers, and we've made
Vows to Keep.
We're biblical marriagecounselors, authors, teachers,
(01:20):
radio hosts and conferencespeakers.
This is the broadcast forcouples in any stage who want to
build their marriage and growcloser to God and to each other.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
We have personally walked down the path of getting
debt-free and staying debt-free,despite a few curveballs that
life has thrown us.
Now we're not perfect in how wehandle emotions or the
practicality of our finances,but we are walking this
uncertain road with you with thecertainty that we're the best
resource guide out there for ourhearts and our pocketbooks.
It's the Bible First off.
(01:50):
Before we get into the fiveways to not let inflation derail
your budget or your marriage,let's talk about the correlation
between the two.
Before inflation hit everyonelike a ton of bricks, the
majority of the couples that wemet with had finances as one of
the things that was on theirto-do list to talk through, to
work through as a couple inmarriage counseling.
(02:11):
There's a lot of tension forcouples when it comes to this
topic, from the lack of a planto too stringent of a plan, from
anything goes to great.
Now we've got this debt.
Hey, no, that's my money, thisis yours.
Let's keep it separate.
You see, when we go intomarriage, we each bring a set of
expectations, a set of rulesand ideals about money all
coming into this marriage andthe merging of these things is
(02:34):
not always a pretty picture.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
The good news is it is possible to be united with
your spouse on this topic, evenin, especially in this uncharted
field of financial landmines.
It's possible to put everythinginto God's hands and leave it
there, and it's possible tonavigate the unknown with a plan
.
I scroll through social mediasometimes and I hear even people
(02:57):
who would consider themselvesstrong in the faith beginning to
panic.
There's initially a generaldistaste for what's happening in
the economy, but when it beginsto impact us directly, that's
when we start to get vocal aboutit.
If that's where you're at, oryou're starting to feel the
unease, let's walk through fiveways you can take action today.
One keep your head.
(03:18):
Two keep your heart and yourspouse's heart.
Three keep a tight budget and aloose budget.
Four keep God's heart in mind.
And five keep your purpose.
Let's start with number onekeep your head.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
It's so easy to let worry and fear rule our thoughts
.
We can tell if we're delvinginto this territory by what
we're listening to, what we'rewatching, and then how we're
reacting to these things.
What we're posting on socialmedia or texting about is also a
really big clue.
The things we bring up inconversation to others.
Even how often we're checkingour retirement account, reveals
(03:52):
the thoughts that may needadjusting in our lives.
Romans 12.2 says do not beconformed to this world, but be
transformed by the renewing ofyour mind.
That by testing you may discernwhat is the will of God, what
is good and acceptable andperfect.
Fear of a God who is not goingto provide causes us to lose our
(04:14):
cool.
Worry consumes us.
Being tested means that ourhearts know God as provider and
our head reaction will also showit.
Being tested causes us todiscern, just like this verse in
Romans is talking about.
It often reveals that in fact,our heart is not trusting God
and our head, with all of itsfear, is simply revealing that
(04:37):
we're fooling ourselves.
In our heart, trusting God as aprovider is a heart thing first
, and then it becomes a headthing.
It's proved out, it'sdemonstrated by testing, and
that shows that we have beentransformed, that we look
different than everyone else whois conforming to the panic that
the latest news broadcasts orthe price on the shelves are
(04:57):
bringing Now.
We're going to share more onthis later.
For now, let's jump to numbertwo keeping your heart and
keeping your spouse's heart.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
It may even seem easier to keep your head about
something than to keep yourheart about something.
So we're going to go to God'sword for the foundation of
number two keep your heart andkeep your spouse's heart.
We're going to go to theparable of the sower.
Now, if you know the parable ofthe sower, it's talking about
the word of God that getsplanted in different kinds of
soil.
The word of God this is thetruth that we know from
scripture gets sown into ourhearts.
(05:27):
Our hearts are the soil andwe've got this truth at our
disposal.
It's food for our souls, it'sguidance for our decision, it's
a light for our next steps.
In this parable, Jesus has a fewthings for us to pay attention
to, things to watch out for.
Mark 4, 16 through 19 saysthere's a seed sown on rocky
places.
These are those of us who hearthe word and at once we receive
(05:50):
it with joy.
And then Jesus says in verse 17, but since they have no root,
they last only a short time.
When trouble or persecutioncomes because of the word, they
quickly fall away.
Still others, like seeds sownamong thorns, hear the word, but
the worries of this life, thedeceitfulness of wealth and the
desire for other things come in,they choke the word and it
(06:12):
becomes unfruitful.
This is so applicable to ustoday.
It is amazing to me that it'snot just getting rich that can
make us veer off of the rightcourse.
It's the worry of the lack ofriches, the absence of things
that we're used to having, thatcan derail us.
Most of us are more motivatedby fear than by success.
(06:33):
That's why we've got to keepclose tabs on our hearts.
Jesus also warns that the loveof money is the root of a great
big weed that's going to chokeout serving him.
Love and hate are actually twosides of the same coin.
We can say we don't love moneyand actually really mean it, but
we hate not having enough tobuy what we want or what we need
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, and the two really are one inthe same.
They both cause us to takeaction that isn't biblical.
The love of money has usrunning to capture it, but the
hatred of not having moneycauses us to complain and then
run after it.
Both love and hate propel us toput money above God.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Husbands, I can't encourage you enough to keep a
watch on your heart and on yourwife's heart.
There's a contentment messagehere.
There's a stewardship messagehere.
Can I encourage you to not justobserve your spouse's weakness
but to spend time in prayer andthen in conversation with them,
not complaining about whatthey've done wrong, but
(07:36):
advocating for the joy thatcomes on the other side of doing
it God's way.
With that we're going to jumpinto number three keeping a
tight and a loose budget.
Let's explain Trace.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
That one definitely needs some explanation.
So let's start practicallyspeaking.
There are things that we can doto flux with the prices at the
pump and at the store, startingwith having a budget in the
first place.
If you don't have one, you canstart today.
If you do have one, get it outand let's make some revisions.
Write down all of your recurringbills.
You can even open up a simpleExcel or Google Sheets document
(08:09):
and log those fixed mandatoryobligations Everything from
tithe, mortgage utilities, phonecar payments, student loans,
credit card payments and thelike.
And don't forget other thingsin there, like property taxes,
homeowners insurance, monthlysavings, retirement deductions.
Then I want you to look backfor the last three months for
(08:30):
variables like groceries,including toiletries, things
like gas, clothes, eating out,entertainment, birthday presents
, date nights, hobbies, amazon,online shopping and those yearly
memberships you have so many of.
Then there are the expensesthat crop up once in a while but
aren't a monthly bill, like carmaintenance, school, school,
(08:51):
sports expenses, hobbies, traveland any variable expenses you
know might be around the bend.
I know I went through that listreally fast.
Don't worry, we're going to goahead and put it on our Facebook
page so you can have access toit and start your spreadsheet
tonight.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Be realistic about this.
Don't write down what you thinkyou should spend or what you
think you did spend.
Go get an actual number.
Actual history is powerful whenit comes to building a budget.
So, now that you've got thosehistorical numbers in black and
white, I want you to create asecond column in your
spreadsheet so that you can do alittle bit of tweaking,
(09:28):
adjusting for change, inflation.
Some things are going to remainthe same, like your mortgage,
your car payments, your studentloans.
Some will maybe just change alittle bit, like car insurance
or cell phone bills.
Some things, though, are goingto be changing a lot, a lot more
than we're comfortable with.
For example, if you have beenspending $200 a month for gas,
(09:48):
well, of course, now the gasprice is double what it was, and
so you're going to need toraise that accordingly.
If you spend $500 a month ongroceries and toiletries, you
may need to wait a month and seehow much is a reasonable budget
given the current prices.
Maybe it's an additional $200.
This fluxing category needs toinclude things that are hiking
(10:08):
up in price, like utilities,eating out, clothes, online
shopping like Amazon.
After you've increased thesecategories to reflect actually
what's happening, the changesthat we see.
Do some totaling.
Compare your income to yourexpenses.
How much is left?
So this is where things getvery practical.
How is your income comparing toyour spending?
(10:31):
This is going to give you anidea of where your budget is
heading.
Is there a margin to pay forwhat's needed?
Is there money for what is anactual need, like eating, giving
health insurance In thosecategories that you've had
substantial increase due topricing that you can't control?
Step back and consider what itis that you can control.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
When we were working to get debt free a few years ago
, we had a budget for groceries,but we also knew that was an
area that we could sacrificesome things For food.
I went through our standardfamily meals and I did some
calculations.
I saw meals that made sense tohave more often because the cost
per serving was economical.
I also saw eating at home wasway better option than going out
to eat.
We cut our eating out budgetback to almost nothing for a
(11:13):
season and ate at home as muchas we could.
We also cut out some of the funstuff that ends up in our
grocery cart that we didn'treally need.
For example, I know it's silly,but I love to feed the birds out
back of our house.
That's $15 a month, maybe evenmore Pop and drinks.
Even water bottles really addup.
We looked at our snacking andmade healthier and cheaper
(11:34):
choices, and when gas gets toohigh we give a little more
thought to our errands and ouroutings.
So where could you cut back?
Put that in your budget, thenwatch that spending for a month
or two and make additionaladjustments as needed.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
If you have a marriage question, please email
questions at vows2keepcom.
Vows2keep will respond to youvia email and perhaps use it on
the air.
Now let's rejoin Vows to KeepRadio with David and.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Tracy Sellers Now reconsider the needs that
actually aren't.
Look at it this way If you lostyour job, if there was no
income and you were living offof savings, what would you not
buy In the past?
You might not have labeledwants as they should have been.
(12:23):
We call everything needs, butwe wouldn't buy it if we didn't
have a job and if we didn't havemoney.
These extra things either needto stop now or be put on pause
for a season.
Let's get real with ourselves.
Memberships to places like carwashes, gyms, video and online
streaming services like musichobbies, the big birthday,
(12:43):
christmas present, buying thatwe like to do, expensive dates,
luxury items, entertainment,kids, sports and the list could
go on and on.
These aren't necessarily wrong,but if you don't have the money
for them, now is not the timeto be spending it.
When we've forgotten to seeextras as a blessing, we
actually begin to believe we areentitled to them.
(13:05):
And guess what?
Over and over again, I've seenGod take those idols out of our
lives in a forceful, difficultway.
I can't encourage you enough topray about this on your own and
then as a couple.
What could go?
What has been too much of apriority in our lives and needs
to be put in a proper place, notonly in our lives, but in our
(13:27):
budget.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
As you consider this, I want to remind us of a life
lesson that we're all handed.
Remember when we were in thathot topic called lockdown.
Many of these extras weren't anoption because we couldn't go
anywhere and lots of us savedmoney like never before.
But another really interestingthing happened when families
were home with nothing to do.
They loved each other.
(13:49):
Moms and dads had time withtheir kids, Kids had time with
their siblings.
They found things to dotogether that created a tighter
bond than ever would have beenthere before.
I know we experienced that as afamily, as did so many others.
We talked with couples who werecoming out of lockdown saying
that they were loving theirfamily time because they weren't
running to so many places andtrying to do all the things.
(14:11):
Life is full of choices, manyof which we don't even realize
until we can't make them.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
When we think about budget, we have to take account
actually of our assets.
What do we have that we couldsell?
What are we tempted to replacethat is actually just a luxury?
What could we continue to use,even if we don't like the fact
that maybe it's frayed or thepaint is coming off?
We've all heard these storiesof how our grandparents or
great-grandparents only had onecar, or they wore coats until
(14:39):
the elbows showed through.
That generation was famous fordownsizing to meet their actual
abilities.
They made things from scratch.
Now we're not suggesting you gojoin the soup line today, but
the generational comparisonshould force us to rethink what
we think we're entitled to Inthis tight budget you're
creating.
So you don't go into debt, soyou're certain to have the money
(15:00):
to pay those non-negotiablebills.
Also, keep a loose budget.
This is the time to watch wherethe dollars are going and where
they should be going, and howmany of them should be going
into what buckets.
But at the same time, hold thatbudget loosely.
Create some margin for aneconomy that is still in flux.
It most likely will continue tochange.
(15:23):
Hold the things that are extraswith an open hand.
This might be the time to cutback on things we've done in the
past.
This is most certainly the timeto not demand.
It's your right to have acertain convenience or item in
your life or experience that youwant.
We get used to these lifestyles.
We've lived so long and wedon't see that we've been
blessed deeply.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
And I know there's things we can't help but get,
like shoes for our kids whentheir feet grow three sizes in
one summer True story.
Or getting our breaks done onthe car.
It has to be done, buteverything has give and take.
I can learn to do my own breaksoff of YouTube and, trust me,
the Sellers family does thatkind of stuff all the time and I
can buy a middle-of-the-roadbrand of shoes for my son,
(16:04):
knowing he most likely won'twear them out before he outgrows
them.
Now I would, of course, love toeat out and get a break from the
kitchen all the time, but whena lunch meal costs more than an
hour of minimum wage, I need tomake some different choices, and
that's okay.
I can take my family out for anice dinner these days for the
same money I used to budget foran entire month of eating out 10
years ago.
As a couple, we need to sitdown and arrive at a number for
(16:30):
each of these categories thatfits within not only our budget,
but also fits within thebiblical standards of being good
stewards of what God has givenus.
I should never hold so tightlyto an ideal that I'm not willing
to make concessions for changewhere it's needed.
And in all this, I know thatGod has good plans.
So let's jump into number four.
Let's keep God's heart in mindas we go through this trying
(16:51):
season.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Matthew 6, 25 says therefore, I tell you, don't
worry about your life, whatyou'll eat or drink, or about
your body or what you'll wear.
Is not life more than food andthe body more than clothes?
Look at those birds of the air.
They don't sow or reap or storeanything away in barns, and yet
your heavenly father feeds them.
(17:13):
Are you not more valuable thanthey Can any of you by worrying,
add a single hour to your life?
What a good question.
This is our chance to put ourtrust in God into action, where
our faith that we've had for solong is actually going to get
its wings and take flight.
This is where we'restrengthening our feeble knees
(17:36):
and we get strong in the Lord.
Hebrews 11 is one of my favoriteverses in the Bible.
It says now, faith is theassurance of things hoped for,
the conviction, the assurance ofthings we cannot see.
We can't see God, yet webelieve in him.
We can't see what's going tohappen to our nation, to our
world, to our bank accounts, butwe can trust this from Hebrews
(17:58):
11.3.
It says by faith, we understandthat the entire universe was
formed at God's command, thatwhat we now see did not come
from anything that can actuallybe seen referring to God by
faith.
We can look back at our pastand see God has been faithful.
He never went against his word.
We read the accounts of God'sfaithfulness all over the place
(18:21):
in the Old Testament.
Why would he change now?
Now this is going to test yourfaith.
Let it.
It's a good thing.
God wants to show you that yourroots go deeper than you
realize.
He may bring you through thefire, but it is for your good.
James one verse two saysconsider it pure joy whenever
(18:41):
you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the
testing of your faith producesperseverance.
Let perseverance finish itswork so that you may be mature
and complete, not lackinganything.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Keep God's heart in mind for you, because his heart
can be trusted.
He has got your back.
Let's finish that passage thatDavid started earlier from
Matthew, chapter 6, where itsays hey, I know what you need.
Jesus says why do you worryabout clothes?
See how the flowers of thefield grow.
(19:17):
They don't labor or spin.
Yet I tell you that not evenSolomon, in all of his splendor,
was dressed like one of these.
If that is how God clothes thegrass of the field, which is
here today and tomorrow throwninto the fire, will he not much
more clothe you, you of littlefaith?
So don't worry, jesus says.
He's saying that to you today.
He's taking your chin in hishands, lifting your eyes to his,
and he's saying don't worry,don't say what shall we eat?
(19:39):
What shall we drink?
What shall we wear?
For the pagans run after allthese things, he says, and your
heavenly father knows that youneed them.
Here's the thing Seek first Hiskingdom and His righteousness,
and all these things will begiven to you as well.
Therefore, don't worry abouttomorrow, for tomorrow will
worry about itself.
Today has enough trouble of itsown.
(20:00):
God's got the long-term goal inmind.
He wants to bring people intoHis kingdom.
He knows that you need theseearthly things.
Trust Him to provide them foryou, as you are a wise steward
with what he's given you, putyour eyes on what he's got his
eyes on.
And that brings us to numberfive here today on Vows to Keep
Radio.
Keep your purpose, stay onmission.
(20:23):
The goal is one that we can'tsee.
It's building God's kingdom,like it says in Matthew, chapter
6.
To do that, to do that, there'sa lot that we may have to live
without.
There's a lot of work to bedone, and having what we want
shouldn't prevent us fromserving him.
One doesn't preclude the other.
The obstacles we see blockingus from serving God are all too
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often tied to our budget, butthey shouldn't be.
Hey, I want to bring thisfamily a meal, but the food
budget's too tight.
But the reality is that most ofthe time we can't get past the
things that are on our list.
I surely don't have margin togive to someone else because I
need this thing.
We've been so busy serving us.
It's hard to see it any otherway and, trust me, david and I
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are guilty of this as well.
The basics aren't really theminimum.
We live higher in our countrythan most of the world and we
think of ourselves as justgetting by Just like.
Lockdown taught us howunimportant some of these things
are, how much extra we reallyhad, especially time when we put
serving God's kingdom ahead ofour own.
We find those decisions areactually really easy.
(21:30):
We just have to first bewilling to deny ourselves.
Lockdown forced us to denyourselves and our kids.
It's such an interesting periodin history, lessons learned,
that I don't think God is reallydone teaching us.
There's a discipline from ourHeavenly Father, perhaps a
loving hand that's still guidingus back onto the right path.
(21:51):
We thought we'd learned thelesson and then, at the first
opportunity, we jumped rightback into the fire and now we're
having to relearn it.
Jesus wants us to keep our eyeson Him, on the goal.
His goal has always been tobring us back to the Father.
It's always been to make usmore like Himself, all with the
purpose of using us to bringothers to Him too.
(22:13):
That is still your mission,despite the financial situation,
and in fact, the mission onlycomes into more focus as the
things the world offers are lessof a possibility for us.
Your mission starts with yourfamily, your wife, your husband,
your children, those closest toyou.
Let the current state ofaffairs sharpen your
(22:33):
intentionality toward yourfamily, towards God's mission.
Going without the unnecessaryextras has its benefits.
It provides you margin toinvest in your family and in the
needs of those in your circleof influence.
As you keep your eyes on Christthrough hard times, others
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around you are going to noticeand they're going to want the
peace that you have.
A heart of thankfulness and notpanic, is catchy, it's
attractive and it points peopleto our Savior.
God can use you to build hiskingdom because you aren't going
to be busy building yours.
God wants you to know today thatit is completely possible to
walk this road ahead, thisunknown, not only with purpose
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but with thankfulness.
When we're able to see pastwhat we don't have or what's
been taken away from us, andinto the unseen of eternity and
the work still to be done hereso others can know Christ.
Unseen of eternity and the workstill to be done here so others
can know Christ, we can be bothpurposeful and thankful.
We can count it a joy, likeJames 1 says, to walk through
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trials, because, hey, that meansthat God is still working on
our hearts, he's up to somethingand he's inviting us along with
Him.
He wants to change our heartsto the point of pivoting our
desires, so we stop chasing thethings of this world and we
actually use our resources, ourtime, our money, our energy to
chase him.
When we do that, there won't becomplaints or fights between
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you and your spouse.
There's going to be a unitedpurpose that stops looking at
the lack of things and startseeing the mission ahead.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Vows to Keep is supported by a team which
includes biblical coaches,writers and pastoral advisors.
If you have a desire to servemarriages in your community, we
would love to hear from you.
Vows to Keep is anot-for-profit marriage ministry
designed to bring God'sencouraging truth to the
marriages of our area.
As a not-for-profitorganization, our commitment to
Christlike marriages includesproviding much-needed services,
(24:34):
regardless of a couple'sfinancial ability to offset the
cost of Vows to Keep operations.
If you are unable to donateyour time or abilities, but
would like to help support Vowsto Keep financially, visit
VowsToKeepcom and click on thedonate link.
This program is sponsored byVows to Keep of Zanesfield, ohio
(24:58):
.
Welcome to Vows to Keep Radio with David and Tracy
Sellers.
Our mission is to help couplesdevelop biblically healthy
marriages through theapplication of God's Word and a
deeper relationship with Him.
We desire to help you and yourspouse grow closer to each other
and closer to the heart ofGod's design for your marriage.
Now here's David and Tracy withtoday's broadcast designed for
(00:27):
your marriage.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Now here's David and Tracy with today's broadcast.
Are you struggling with therising prices of well,
everything?
It's one thing to know you havea steady job to go to in the
morning.
It's another to wonder if yourpaycheck will be enough to cover
all the bills.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
No matter how much money you have in the bank, most
of us are starting to sweat.
It's crazy what's happening tothe state of our economy,
especially not knowing how badit's going to get.
No matter how much I tellmyself to trust God that he is
bigger than a $5 gallon of gas,that won't even get me to and
from the store.
I've got to admit it's becomingmore and more of a struggle.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
We're going to share with you today five ways you can
take action to stay secure inboth your finances and how they
impact your marriagerelationship.
What are they Find out intoday's episode of Vows to Keep
Radio, the show where you getsound biblical counsel you can
apply today to your marriage?
We're your hosts, david andTracy Sellers, and we've made
Vows to Keep.
We're biblical marriagecounselors, authors, teachers,
(01:20):
radio hosts and conferencespeakers.
This is the broadcast forcouples in any stage who want to
build their marriage and growcloser to God and to each other.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
We have personally walked down the path of getting
debt-free and staying debt-free,despite a few curveballs that
life has thrown us.
Now we're not perfect in how wehandle emotions or the
practicality of our finances,but we are walking this
uncertain road with you with thecertainty that we're the best
resource guide out there for ourhearts and our pocketbooks.
It's the Bible First off.
(01:50):
Before we get into the fiveways to not let inflation derail
your budget or your marriage,let's talk about the correlation
between the two.
Before inflation hit everyonelike a ton of bricks, the
majority of the couples that wemet with had finances as one of
the things that was on theirto-do list to talk through, to
work through as a couple inmarriage counseling.
(02:11):
There's a lot of tension forcouples when it comes to this
topic, from the lack of a planto too stringent of a plan, from
anything goes to great.
Now we've got this debt.
Hey, no, that's my money, thisis yours.
Let's keep it separate.
You see, when we go intomarriage, we each bring a set of
expectations, a set of rulesand ideals about money all
coming into this marriage andthe merging of these things is
(02:34):
not always a pretty picture.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
The good news is it is possible to be united with
your spouse on this topic, evenin, especially in this uncharted
field of financial landmines.
It's possible to put everythinginto God's hands and leave it
there, and it's possible tonavigate the unknown with a plan
.
I scroll through social mediasometimes and I hear even people
(02:57):
who would consider themselvesstrong in the faith beginning to
panic.
There's initially a generaldistaste for what's happening in
the economy, but when it beginsto impact us directly, that's
when we start to get vocal aboutit.
If that's where you're at, oryou're starting to feel the
unease, let's walk through fiveways you can take action today.
One keep your head.
(03:18):
Two keep your heart and yourspouse's heart.
Three keep a tight budget and aloose budget.
Four keep God's heart in mind.
And five keep your purpose.
Let's start with number onekeep your head.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
It's so easy to let worry and fear rule our thoughts
.
We can tell if we're delvinginto this territory by what
we're listening to, what we'rewatching, and then how we're
reacting to these things.
What we're posting on socialmedia or texting about is also a
really big clue.
The things we bring up inconversation to others.
Even how often we're checkingour retirement account, reveals
(03:52):
the thoughts that may needadjusting in our lives.
Romans 12.2 says do not beconformed to this world, but be
transformed by the renewing ofyour mind.
That by testing you may discernwhat is the will of God, what
is good and acceptable andperfect.
Fear of a God who is not goingto provide causes us to lose our
(04:14):
cool.
Worry consumes us.
Being tested means that ourhearts know God as provider and
our head reaction will also showit.
Being tested causes us todiscern, just like this verse in
Romans is talking about.
It often reveals that in fact,our heart is not trusting God
and our head, with all of itsfear, is simply revealing that
(04:37):
we're fooling ourselves.
In our heart, trusting God as aprovider is a heart thing first
, and then it becomes a headthing.
It's proved out, it'sdemonstrated by testing, and
that shows that we have beentransformed, that we look
different than everyone else whois conforming to the panic that
the latest news broadcasts orthe price on the shelves are
(04:57):
bringing Now.
We're going to share more onthis later.
For now, let's jump to numbertwo keeping your heart and
keeping your spouse's heart.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
It may even seem easier to keep your head about
something than to keep yourheart about something.
So we're going to go to God'sword for the foundation of
number two keep your heart andkeep your spouse's heart.
We're going to go to theparable of the sower.
Now, if you know the parable ofthe sower, it's talking about
the word of God that getsplanted in different kinds of
soil.
The word of God this is thetruth that we know from
scripture gets sown into ourhearts.
(05:27):
Our hearts are the soil andwe've got this truth at our
disposal.
It's food for our souls, it'sguidance for our decision, it's
a light for our next steps.
In this parable, Jesus has a fewthings for us to pay attention
to, things to watch out for.
Mark 4, 16 through 19 saysthere's a seed sown on rocky
places.
These are those of us who hearthe word and at once we receive
(05:50):
it with joy.
And then Jesus says in verse 17, but since they have no root,
they last only a short time.
When trouble or persecutioncomes because of the word, they
quickly fall away.
Still others, like seeds sownamong thorns, hear the word, but
the worries of this life, thedeceitfulness of wealth and the
desire for other things come in,they choke the word and it
(06:12):
becomes unfruitful.
This is so applicable to ustoday.
It is amazing to me that it'snot just getting rich that can
make us veer off of the rightcourse.
It's the worry of the lack ofriches, the absence of things
that we're used to having, thatcan derail us.
Most of us are more motivatedby fear than by success.
(06:33):
That's why we've got to keepclose tabs on our hearts.
Jesus also warns that the loveof money is the root of a great
big weed that's going to chokeout serving him.
Love and hate are actually twosides of the same coin.
We can say we don't love moneyand actually really mean it, but
we hate not having enough tobuy what we want or what we need
(06:55):
, and the two really are one inthe same.
They both cause us to takeaction that isn't biblical.
The love of money has usrunning to capture it, but the
hatred of not having moneycauses us to complain and then
run after it.
Both love and hate propel us toput money above God.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Husbands, I can't encourage you enough to keep a
watch on your heart and on yourwife's heart.
There's a contentment messagehere.
There's a stewardship messagehere.
Can I encourage you to not justobserve your spouse's weakness
but to spend time in prayer andthen in conversation with them,
not complaining about whatthey've done wrong, but
(07:36):
advocating for the joy thatcomes on the other side of doing
it God's way.
With that we're going to jumpinto number three keeping a
tight and a loose budget.
Let's explain Trace.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
That one definitely needs some explanation.
So let's start practicallyspeaking.
There are things that we can doto flux with the prices at the
pump and at the store, startingwith having a budget in the
first place.
If you don't have one, you canstart today.
If you do have one, get it outand let's make some revisions.
Write down all of your recurringbills.
You can even open up a simpleExcel or Google Sheets document
(08:09):
and log those fixed mandatoryobligations Everything from
tithe, mortgage utilities, phonecar payments, student loans,
credit card payments and thelike.
And don't forget other thingsin there, like property taxes,
homeowners insurance, monthlysavings, retirement deductions.
Then I want you to look backfor the last three months for
(08:30):
variables like groceries,including toiletries, things
like gas, clothes, eating out,entertainment, birthday presents
, date nights, hobbies, amazon,online shopping and those yearly
memberships you have so many of.
Then there are the expensesthat crop up once in a while but
aren't a monthly bill, like carmaintenance, school, school,
(08:51):
sports expenses, hobbies, traveland any variable expenses you
know might be around the bend.
I know I went through that listreally fast.
Don't worry, we're going to goahead and put it on our Facebook
page so you can have access toit and start your spreadsheet
tonight.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Be realistic about this.
Don't write down what you thinkyou should spend or what you
think you did spend.
Go get an actual number.
Actual history is powerful whenit comes to building a budget.
So, now that you've got thosehistorical numbers in black and
white, I want you to create asecond column in your
spreadsheet so that you can do alittle bit of tweaking,
(09:28):
adjusting for change, inflation.
Some things are going to remainthe same, like your mortgage,
your car payments, your studentloans.
Some will maybe just change alittle bit, like car insurance
or cell phone bills.
Some things, though, are goingto be changing a lot, a lot more
than we're comfortable with.
For example, if you have beenspending $200 a month for gas,
(09:48):
well, of course, now the gasprice is double what it was, and
so you're going to need toraise that accordingly.
If you spend $500 a month ongroceries and toiletries, you
may need to wait a month and seehow much is a reasonable budget
given the current prices.
Maybe it's an additional $200.
This fluxing category needs toinclude things that are hiking
(10:08):
up in price, like utilities,eating out, clothes, online
shopping like Amazon.
After you've increased thesecategories to reflect actually
what's happening, the changesthat we see.
Do some totaling.
Compare your income to yourexpenses.
How much is left?
So this is where things getvery practical.
How is your income comparing toyour spending?
(10:31):
This is going to give you anidea of where your budget is
heading.
Is there a margin to pay forwhat's needed?
Is there money for what is anactual need, like eating, giving
health insurance In thosecategories that you've had
substantial increase due topricing that you can't control?
Step back and consider what itis that you can control.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
When we were working to get debt free a few years ago
, we had a budget for groceries,but we also knew that was an
area that we could sacrificesome things For food.
I went through our standardfamily meals and I did some
calculations.
I saw meals that made sense tohave more often because the cost
per serving was economical.
I also saw eating at home wasway better option than going out
to eat.
We cut our eating out budgetback to almost nothing for a
(11:13):
season and ate at home as muchas we could.
We also cut out some of the funstuff that ends up in our
grocery cart that we didn'treally need.
For example, I know it's silly,but I love to feed the birds out
back of our house.
That's $15 a month, maybe evenmore Pop and drinks.
Even water bottles really addup.
We looked at our snacking andmade healthier and cheaper
(11:34):
choices, and when gas gets toohigh we give a little more
thought to our errands and ouroutings.
So where could you cut back?
Put that in your budget, thenwatch that spending for a month
or two and make additionaladjustments as needed.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
If you have a marriage question, please email
questions at vows2keepcom.
Vows2keep will respond to youvia email and perhaps use it on
the air.
Now let's rejoin Vows to KeepRadio with David and.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Tracy Sellers Now reconsider the needs that
actually aren't.
Look at it this way If you lostyour job, if there was no
income and you were living offof savings, what would you not
buy In the past?
You might not have labeledwants as they should have been.
(12:23):
We call everything needs, butwe wouldn't buy it if we didn't
have a job and if we didn't havemoney.
These extra things either needto stop now or be put on pause
for a season.
Let's get real with ourselves.
Memberships to places like carwashes, gyms, video and online
streaming services like musichobbies, the big birthday,
(12:43):
christmas present, buying thatwe like to do, expensive dates,
luxury items, entertainment,kids, sports and the list could
go on and on.
These aren't necessarily wrong,but if you don't have the money
for them, now is not the timeto be spending it.
When we've forgotten to seeextras as a blessing, we
actually begin to believe we areentitled to them.
(13:05):
And guess what?
Over and over again, I've seenGod take those idols out of our
lives in a forceful, difficultway.
I can't encourage you enough topray about this on your own and
then as a couple.
What could go?
What has been too much of apriority in our lives and needs
to be put in a proper place, notonly in our lives, but in our
(13:27):
budget.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
As you consider this, I want to remind us of a life
lesson that we're all handed.
Remember when we were in thathot topic called lockdown.
Many of these extras weren't anoption because we couldn't go
anywhere and lots of us savedmoney like never before.
But another really interestingthing happened when families
were home with nothing to do.
They loved each other.
(13:49):
Moms and dads had time withtheir kids, Kids had time with
their siblings.
They found things to dotogether that created a tighter
bond than ever would have beenthere before.
I know we experienced that as afamily, as did so many others.
We talked with couples who werecoming out of lockdown saying
that they were loving theirfamily time because they weren't
running to so many places andtrying to do all the things.
(14:11):
Life is full of choices, manyof which we don't even realize
until we can't make them.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
When we think about budget, we have to take account
actually of our assets.
What do we have that we couldsell?
What are we tempted to replacethat is actually just a luxury?
What could we continue to use,even if we don't like the fact
that maybe it's frayed or thepaint is coming off?
We've all heard these storiesof how our grandparents or
great-grandparents only had onecar, or they wore coats until
(14:39):
the elbows showed through.
That generation was famous fordownsizing to meet their actual
abilities.
They made things from scratch.
Now we're not suggesting you gojoin the soup line today, but
the generational comparisonshould force us to rethink what
we think we're entitled to Inthis tight budget you're
creating.
So you don't go into debt, soyou're certain to have the money
(15:00):
to pay those non-negotiablebills.
Also, keep a loose budget.
This is the time to watch wherethe dollars are going and where
they should be going, and howmany of them should be going
into what buckets.
But at the same time, hold thatbudget loosely.
Create some margin for aneconomy that is still in flux.
It most likely will continue tochange.
(15:23):
Hold the things that are extraswith an open hand.
This might be the time to cutback on things we've done in the
past.
This is most certainly the timeto not demand.
It's your right to have acertain convenience or item in
your life or experience that youwant.
We get used to these lifestyles.
We've lived so long and wedon't see that we've been
blessed deeply.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
And I know there's things we can't help but get,
like shoes for our kids whentheir feet grow three sizes in
one summer True story.
Or getting our breaks done onthe car.
It has to be done, buteverything has give and take.
I can learn to do my own breaksoff of YouTube and, trust me,
the Sellers family does thatkind of stuff all the time and I
can buy a middle-of-the-roadbrand of shoes for my son,
(16:04):
knowing he most likely won'twear them out before he outgrows
them.
Now I would, of course, love toeat out and get a break from the
kitchen all the time, but whena lunch meal costs more than an
hour of minimum wage, I need tomake some different choices, and
that's okay.
I can take my family out for anice dinner these days for the
same money I used to budget foran entire month of eating out 10
years ago.
As a couple, we need to sitdown and arrive at a number for
(16:30):
each of these categories thatfits within not only our budget,
but also fits within thebiblical standards of being good
stewards of what God has givenus.
I should never hold so tightlyto an ideal that I'm not willing
to make concessions for changewhere it's needed.
And in all this, I know thatGod has good plans.
So let's jump into number four.
Let's keep God's heart in mindas we go through this trying
(16:51):
season.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Matthew 6, 25 says therefore, I tell you, don't
worry about your life, whatyou'll eat or drink, or about
your body or what you'll wear.
Is not life more than food andthe body more than clothes?
Look at those birds of the air.
They don't sow or reap or storeanything away in barns, and yet
your heavenly father feeds them.
(17:13):
Are you not more valuable thanthey Can any of you by worrying,
add a single hour to your life?
What a good question.
This is our chance to put ourtrust in God into action, where
our faith that we've had for solong is actually going to get
its wings and take flight.
This is where we'restrengthening our feeble knees
(17:36):
and we get strong in the Lord.
Hebrews 11 is one of my favoriteverses in the Bible.
It says now, faith is theassurance of things hoped for,
the conviction, the assurance ofthings we cannot see.
We can't see God, yet webelieve in him.
We can't see what's going tohappen to our nation, to our
world, to our bank accounts, butwe can trust this from Hebrews
(17:58):
11.3.
It says by faith, we understandthat the entire universe was
formed at God's command, thatwhat we now see did not come
from anything that can actuallybe seen referring to God by
faith.
We can look back at our pastand see God has been faithful.
He never went against his word.
We read the accounts of God'sfaithfulness all over the place
(18:21):
in the Old Testament.
Why would he change now?
Now this is going to test yourfaith.
Let it.
It's a good thing.
God wants to show you that yourroots go deeper than you
realize.
He may bring you through thefire, but it is for your good.
James one verse two saysconsider it pure joy whenever
(18:41):
you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the
testing of your faith producesperseverance.
Let perseverance finish itswork so that you may be mature
and complete, not lackinganything.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Keep God's heart in mind for you, because his heart
can be trusted.
He has got your back.
Let's finish that passage thatDavid started earlier from
Matthew, chapter 6, where itsays hey, I know what you need.
Jesus says why do you worryabout clothes?
See how the flowers of thefield grow.
(19:17):
They don't labor or spin.
Yet I tell you that not evenSolomon, in all of his splendor,
was dressed like one of these.
If that is how God clothes thegrass of the field, which is
here today and tomorrow throwninto the fire, will he not much
more clothe you, you of littlefaith?
So don't worry, jesus says.
He's saying that to you today.
He's taking your chin in hishands, lifting your eyes to his,
and he's saying don't worry,don't say what shall we eat?
(19:39):
What shall we drink?
What shall we wear?
For the pagans run after allthese things, he says, and your
heavenly father knows that youneed them.
Here's the thing Seek first Hiskingdom and His righteousness,
and all these things will begiven to you as well.
Therefore, don't worry abouttomorrow, for tomorrow will
worry about itself.
Today has enough trouble of itsown.
(20:00):
God's got the long-term goal inmind.
He wants to bring people intoHis kingdom.
He knows that you need theseearthly things.
Trust Him to provide them foryou, as you are a wise steward
with what he's given you, putyour eyes on what he's got his
eyes on.
And that brings us to numberfive here today on Vows to Keep
Radio.
Keep your purpose, stay onmission.
(20:23):
The goal is one that we can'tsee.
It's building God's kingdom,like it says in Matthew, chapter
6.
To do that, to do that, there'sa lot that we may have to live
without.
There's a lot of work to bedone, and having what we want
shouldn't prevent us fromserving him.
One doesn't preclude the other.
The obstacles we see blockingus from serving God are all too
(20:45):
often tied to our budget, butthey shouldn't be.
Hey, I want to bring thisfamily a meal, but the food
budget's too tight.
But the reality is that most ofthe time we can't get past the
things that are on our list.
I surely don't have margin togive to someone else because I
need this thing.
We've been so busy serving us.
It's hard to see it any otherway and, trust me, david and I
(21:10):
are guilty of this as well.
The basics aren't really theminimum.
We live higher in our countrythan most of the world and we
think of ourselves as justgetting by Just like.
Lockdown taught us howunimportant some of these things
are, how much extra we reallyhad, especially time when we put
serving God's kingdom ahead ofour own.
We find those decisions areactually really easy.
(21:30):
We just have to first bewilling to deny ourselves.
Lockdown forced us to denyourselves and our kids.
It's such an interesting periodin history, lessons learned,
that I don't think God is reallydone teaching us.
There's a discipline from ourHeavenly Father, perhaps a
loving hand that's still guidingus back onto the right path.
(21:51):
We thought we'd learned thelesson and then, at the first
opportunity, we jumped rightback into the fire and now we're
having to relearn it.
Jesus wants us to keep our eyeson Him, on the goal.
His goal has always been tobring us back to the Father.
It's always been to make usmore like Himself, all with the
purpose of using us to bringothers to Him too.
(22:13):
That is still your mission,despite the financial situation,
and in fact, the mission onlycomes into more focus as the
things the world offers are lessof a possibility for us.
Your mission starts with yourfamily, your wife, your husband,
your children, those closest toyou.
Let the current state ofaffairs sharpen your
(22:33):
intentionality toward yourfamily, towards God's mission.
Going without the unnecessaryextras has its benefits.
It provides you margin toinvest in your family and in the
needs of those in your circleof influence.
As you keep your eyes on Christthrough hard times, others
(22:54):
around you are going to noticeand they're going to want the
peace that you have.
A heart of thankfulness and notpanic, is catchy, it's
attractive and it points peopleto our Savior.
God can use you to build hiskingdom because you aren't going
to be busy building yours.
God wants you to know today thatit is completely possible to
walk this road ahead, thisunknown, not only with purpose
(23:15):
but with thankfulness.
When we're able to see pastwhat we don't have or what's
been taken away from us, andinto the unseen of eternity and
the work still to be done hereso others can know Christ.
Unseen of eternity and the workstill to be done here so others
can know Christ, we can be bothpurposeful and thankful.
We can count it a joy, likeJames 1 says, to walk through
(23:37):
trials, because, hey, that meansthat God is still working on
our hearts, he's up to somethingand he's inviting us along with
Him.
He wants to change our heartsto the point of pivoting our
desires, so we stop chasing thethings of this world and we
actually use our resources, ourtime, our money, our energy to
chase him.
When we do that, there won't becomplaints or fights between
(23:59):
you and your spouse.
There's going to be a unitedpurpose that stops looking at
the lack of things and startseeing the mission ahead.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Vows to Keep is supported by a team which
includes biblical coaches,writers and pastoral advisors.
If you have a desire to servemarriages in your community, we
would love to hear from you.
Vows to Keep is anot-for-profit marriage ministry
designed to bring God'sencouraging truth to the
marriages of our area.
As a not-for-profitorganization, our commitment to
Christlike marriages includesproviding much-needed services,
(24:34):
regardless of a couple'sfinancial ability to offset the
cost of Vows to Keep operations.
If you are unable to donateyour time or abilities, but
would like to help support Vowsto Keep financially, visit
VowsToKeepcom and click on thedonate link.
This program is sponsored byVows to Keep of Zanesfield, ohio
(24:58):
.
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