December 20, 2023 • 35 mins
Feeling connected while living a nomadic lifestyle can be challenging. In this episode, solo female van lifer Courtney Stevenson shares her best tips for combating loneliness and finding community on the road.
Courtney talks about how she leveraged social media connections to find and befriend fellow nomads online when she first started out. She then eventually met some of these internet friends in person while traveling. Courtney explains how attending van life gatherings and events is one of the best ways to meet fellow wanderers. She discusses some popular events like Descend on Bend and the Rubber Tramp Rendezvous.
We also chat about the pros and cons of seasonal travel and how winter brings more interactions by nature while summer allows for more exploration and independence. Courtney weighs in on the need to find balance between community and solitude, even as an extrovert. She also talks about dealing with loneliness amidst the highs and lows of van life.
Whether you’re a solo traveler looking to make road friends or a couple hoping to connect with other nomadic pairs, this episode covers actionable tips for combating isolation. Tune in to hear Courtney’s hard-won advice after 3+ years living in her van.
Follow Courtney on Instagram
Connect with Kristin Hanes and The Wayward Home!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Getting started with Van Life or Nomadic Living
generally can have its fairshare of worries.
One of those is wondering ifyou'll have community on the
road.
One thing we noticed about VanLife is that we often boondock,
so we're hardly around anyone tomake friends with.
We found the sailing communityto be much easier for
friendships.
However, some Van Lifers havelearned how to make it work and
(00:20):
have maintained deep friendshipson the road.
In this episode of the WaywardHome Podcast, we'll get tips and
advice from one Van lifer who'sbeen living in her van solo for
over three years but haslearned how to find an awesome
community.
Let's go.
Welcome to the Wayward HomePodcast all about van life, boat
life and nomadic living.
We'll bring you tips,interviews and stories from the
road and on the water.
(00:41):
Now here's your host, kristenHaynes.
Hey there, I'm Kristen Hayneswith thewaywardhomecom and I
spend half the year in mySprinter van and half on my
sailboat in Mexico.
I hope to inspire you to livenomatically too.
So I get these types ofquestions all the time.
Well, how do I find friends onthe road?
Is van life lonely?
What are the best ways to findcommunity?
Today we have a lot of handytips on finding people to hang
(01:03):
out with when you're on the road, if you're solo or traveling as
a couple or even as a family.
I'd like to welcome CourtneyStevenson to the Wayward Home
Podcast.
She's been living in a van forover three years and has lots of
advice when it comes to findingcommunity on the road Now.
But before we get started,where are you right now in your
van?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, I am parked outside of my parents' house,
actually in Arizona for theholidays, on my path south for
winter and just stopping to seefamily.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Very cool.
So let's talk a little bitabout your background.
When did you get into van life?
Initially?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, so I was part of the COVID era van lifers.
I was actually on SoutheastAsia backpacking trip back in
2020.
I had quit my job in Las Vegas,had saved up money to travel,
was overseas 2019 and beginningof 2020, and then the pandemic
hit.
(02:01):
So I came back to the US and Iwas like, well, what do I do?
Like I don't want to settledown into a city.
The industry that I had beenworking in was decimated and I
was like, well, I'm probably notgoing to be able to get a job.
Slash in my mind.
I wasn't ready to find workagain.
I still had savings for travel.
So I had been following van lifefor a long, long time and I had
(02:23):
done van life for shorterperiods of time in other
countries before and it was likein the back of my mind like, oh
, I will do van life someday,but it wasn't at my radar.
But, yeah, with 2020, I endedup buying a van that summer, in
July, and I hit the road inSeptember of 2020, I expected to
be on the road for like sixmonths and then here we are,
(02:45):
three and a half years later.
Yeah, I have traveled all overthe US.
I've gone down to the tip ofBaja two winters in a row.
I love this lifestyle and yeah,that's kind of my journey, of
how I got into the van.
I'm in a 1999 Ford Accordalinethat has like a fiberglass
(03:06):
midroof on it.
Again, I wasn't workinginitially when I hit the road,
so I had kind of fixed savingsand I was like wanted to just
get something that would get meon the road, to get something
that wouldn't immediately makeme have to start finding work.
So I definitely went the budgetcamper van route and got
extremely lucky.
This van has been very solidand stable for me and, yeah,
(03:29):
she's been a great home, oh,fantastic.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, I went through the budget route with my van set
of Astro for many years andit's just nice to be able to
purchase something you don'thave to go into debt for if
you're not at that stage in lifewhere you're like making money.
So it's really nice to seepeople living out of more
affordable vans, because I thinkthe sprinters.
I have one now but it took along time to get one.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I think that people don't see those original initial
vans that are often more budgetoriented.
So I love that.
Yeah, that's what you have,yeah, so cool.
So you started in COVID and youmostly travel alone, right?
Or you started traveling alone.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yes, I started traveling alone and have mostly
been traveling alone, I did.
I met a van lifer and we datedfor a bit on the road.
But even with that we had ourseparate vans and we would
travel sometimes together andsometimes separately.
But yeah, for the most part Ihave been a solo female van
lifer for the majority of mytime on the road.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, and so did you ever have worries about, like,
how you would meet people orfind friends?
Because I know I get a lot ofpeople emailing me, even like my
dad, which is hilarious becausehe has a mini van.
He also lives in a house withhis girlfriend, but he's
thinking like I want to take aroad trip by myself because his
girlfriend's not retired, andhe's like but I'm going to be so
lonely, and I hear this all thetime from people.
(04:45):
So I'm wondering, like what youwere thinking or feeling about
that when you first leaped intoit.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, it was really interesting and I, as I was like
kind of getting you know readyto speak with you about finding
Community on the road, I waskind of like reminiscing on my
kind of journey of van life andfinding friends on the road.
And it was really interestingbecause when I First Started in
the van it was still like peakCOVID and people really weren't
(05:12):
interacting with one anotherLike even when you were out,
like on hiking trails, likepeople were just kind of keeping
their distance and everyone wasreally kind of distancing.
So it was interesting just likeentering van life during that
timeframe when things were stilljust kind of, you know,
gatherings weren't happening,you just weren't meeting people.
(05:33):
I also the first where Istarted van life, when my first
destination was the upperpeninsula of Michigan and then I
went through the northeast tolike Maine, vermont, new
Hampshire and those areBeautiful but there are not
destinations that are very likepopular with van lifers, so I
just wasn't meeting a ton ofpeople.
So I really did not, you know,make friends or find other van
(05:57):
lifers on the road for the first, I want to say, three or four
months.
It wasn't until headed down tokind of the southwest For my
first winter that I reallystarted meeting people in person
and really and this is kind ofmy like Tip number one of
finding community on the roadand what I did when I first hit
the road was I used social mediaa lot to Make these kind of
(06:20):
internet friends.
So one of the things was therethere used to be I don't know if
it still exists, but there wasa solo female van life Facebook
group that was pretty popularand Active and when people,
people would write likeintroduction posts and they
would post a couple photos andthey would just do a little bio,
and any time I was on thatFacebook group and I saw someone
(06:43):
who, like shared similarinterests, I would find them on
Instagram and I would just sendthem a message like hey, you
know, I'm Courtney, I'm alsoliving in a van, like hope you
know to connect with you downthe line and say Through me that
through like hashtags.
Again, I was primarily liketargeting like solo female van
lifers to find, you know, femalefriendship on the road, but
(07:05):
just kind of I had these likeinternet friends.
That son I still have, you know, no, and we've never met in
person and others.
Obviously, through the yearswe've been able to connect.
But really it was like beingable to kind of be bold on
social media and just like findpeople who seemed interesting
and kind of connect that way,especially again because in the
(07:25):
beginning I wasn't meetingpeople in person.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, that's super interesting that you say that,
because I feel like I do vanlife and boat life and when I'm
in the van especially, we liketo boondock and you're kind of
out in the middle of nowhere andyou're really not near other
vans and also it's weird.
Like to walk up to someone's vanin the middle of nowhere and be
like hi, do you want to hangout?
Like everyone's kind of lookingaround, like wondering who's
approaching.
So I find that Meeting peoplein the van world hasn't been as
(07:51):
easy for us.
Just because we're off the gridso much and we're in the boat,
you anchor in a specific areaand there's like four other
boats anchored there and youmeet people a lot easier in the
boat life and in a boat yard,like where I am now.
But social media, like what youwere saying, is how I've like
Interacted with most van lifers,even if I haven't met them in
person like you.
I've been chatting with you fora long time on Instagram, I'm
(08:13):
meeting.
But that's cool that youactually made it happen and met
the people in person and reallydid that coordination on Social
media.
So that's really interesting,yeah, yeah, and did you do like
Caravanning with them and likecamping with them and how did
that evolve?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, I guess.
So, yeah, the first time Iactually met other van lifers in
person was through, yeah, agirl that we had connected on
Instagram, my friend Macy, and Isaw this was, yeah, again,
winter, my first winter.
I was heading towards San Diegoand I saw her post an Instagram
story hanging out with othervan lifers in San Diego, and so
(08:55):
I remember being so nervousbecause I thought that they all
knew each other.
This is like a common, I think,misconception with, like van
lifers.
I I saw Macy hanging out with agroup of van lifers and I sent
her a message like, oh my gosh,like I'm coming to San Diego
next week, like you know, wouldyou mind if I joined you guys?
And I remember feeling sonervous to ask that.
(09:16):
And she was like, yeah, ofcourse, and like I ended up
meeting up with her in this likethat group and and from the
beginning it was just so good itwas.
It's actually that's where I metBrooke, who's a writer for the
Wayward home.
That's where I met Brooke,who's become a good, yeah, van
friend.
But it was just this kind ofmod podge group of people coming
(09:37):
in and out, you know, doingtheir own thing, going and
traveling.
Like you know, it was just thatwas the first time, yeah, that
I met people on the road and Iwas so nervous because you just
think that everyone knowseverybody.
But the longer that you're onthe road you just realize that
you know the the the door of vanlife is always evolving and
(09:58):
there's always new peopleHitting the road.
There's always people who areswitching to part-time or
getting off the road and you'realways like going to be able to
meet people.
And people don't always knoweach other and people generally
are very welcoming.
As long as you are, you know,kind of using good van life
etiquette, but people aregenerally very welcoming.
(10:18):
So, yeah, that was kind of myfirst time meeting other van
lipers.
And then I think it gets easieronce you start meeting people,
because it's like, okay, Istarted to connect with this
group in San Diego.
You know kind of seeing wheretheir travels took them
afterward, and then you'd belike, oh well, I'm now in Utah
and this person that I met inSan Diego is also in Utah.
(10:40):
Let's meet up in camp.
And then they have a fewfriends that they've met since
then and it just kind of, Idon't know, it gets easier, I
think once you've started toestablish meeting people for the
first time.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah, and then how do you keep track of like where
each other are?
Is it because you're posting tolike Instagram stories and
you're seeing like, oh, thisperson is here, I should connect
.
Or are there any other apps orways to sort of keep track of
your roaming friends?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, I am, it definitely is like.
I think that the van lifecommunity can be like heavy
Instagram based, because it is alot of times where you're like,
oh, I see, this person is alsoin this place.
I know some of the apps.
I don't know if it still is aspopular, but seeker as KR, they
(11:25):
have a feature where you cankind of turn, you can create a
profile and you can turn on yourlike location area so other
people in the same area canreach out and you can chat with
others.
And I've actually a couple ofyears ago in Joshua Tree, that's
how I met up, that's how I meta few friends, because there was
(11:48):
a girl who reached out to meand a handful of other people
who she all saw was in the samekind of general area, like, hey,
would you guys want to gettogether and have a potluck and
a bonfire?
And so we did, and it was fiveor six of us.
None of us had ever met before,just like met up, you know, for
an evening and it was great.
Yeah, so there's seeker.
(12:09):
Trying to think of other apps.
There's a company here calledKift that they do some caravan
he's going back to the caravanquestion.
They do some like establishedcaravans which are pretty cool.
They just did one in Novemberthat was going through the
Eastern Sierra in California andI know last winter they did a
big caravan down through Bajaand that was especially great.
(12:30):
Kift they have a lot of peoplewho work full time, like nine to
five jobs, and so that's been,I know, a good community for
some of my red friends who havemore traditional careers, to
meet people and also meet peoplewho are also working a similar
kind of schedule.
So, yeah, kift is another place.
I'm trying to think if there'sother apps or ways that people
(12:54):
have connected, but those arekind of the two big ones I think
Kift and seeker.
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And I didn't know that.
I've been intrigued by Kift fora while now.
I know that they if peopledon't know who they are, they
have a membership program whereyou can go live at these homes
and park your van.
It's like a van life communitything.
I didn't know they did caravans.
That's really interesting.
But have you tried Kift?
Have you been interested intrying Kift or what's your
thought about that?
I haven't.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I am.
I think it's really interesting.
I think it's a cool concept andespecially now that I've been
on the road as long as I have,you definitely go through stages
of kind of travel burnout andnot wanting to go through that,
not wanting to travel and driveall the time and also feeling
like you know, you're kind oflimited by two week camping
limit sometimes, where it's like, okay, kift would be, I think,
(13:42):
a really neat way of being ableto stay and the ride, but kind
of deep, you know, have thatkind of downtime but within
community.
So I think it's a really coolconcept.
I haven't personally checked itout, but it's just because I
haven't been in the areas thatthey've been having the houses.
But it is, I think, and I'vehad friends who have joined both
of their caravans and I've hadfriends or met people who have
(14:05):
lived at the Kift houses andit's a really cool concept.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah, it sounds interesting.
I'd like to pop in and try itfor a few days at some point,
but it's probably not somethingI would do like full time, you
know, just because we do loveboondocking so much.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yeah, out of nature.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
But it does sound really interesting in their home
, seem like they're neat areasand stuff.
So I think it could be a greatopportunity for someone you know
, depending on the stage of vanlife they're in and if they need
a break from the constantmovement, because that's the
hard part, yeah.
So yeah, have you found, like,when you were meeting up with
these people that you're meetingis it mostly, do you think,
(14:41):
women doing this?
Did sometimes solo men go, orlike, what was the demographic
of who people are pretending toconnect with out there?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I think it really depends on kind of your
lifestyle and like theactivities that you're doing and
like where you are.
I feel like I meet a lot ofsolo female vanlifers, but I
don't think that's likeself-fulfilling prophecy because
that's typically who I am likeconnecting with.
But even like I've justwhenever I've been hanging out
and meeting up with like a groupof vanlifers, it does feel like
(15:15):
it skews solo female vanlifers.
There's a lot of couples andthen they're like the kind of
the just barely lower is likesolo men on the road.
You kind of get all all allkinds of people and like one of
my favorite things of the roadis just I don't know, the wide
variety of like demographics andages and what people do for
(15:36):
work and their kind of roadstory.
You kind of get all of it.
But yeah, I definitely tend toconnect a lot with the other
women on the road Totally, andprobably neither of us know this
for sure.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
But I wonder if it's like harder for men to do this,
because I know I don't know ifmen are maybe some are, but some
that I know are not quite ascommunity oriented, like
actively seeking out other mento hang out with, and I know
women tend to be very likecommunity and friend oriented.
It's just like the way ourbrains work.
So I just wonder, like, what itwould be like for men.
I guess I should interview asolo male at some point and ask
(16:08):
do you have you, have you heardanything about that at all, what
it's like for them?
Or you mostly hang out withsolo females.
So it might be I got no, yeah,I don't really know.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I know I'm so curious .
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I did meet.
Actually I interviewed a manfor this podcast and he lived in
a Toyota Prius for a number ofyears and he was an older
gentleman, I think in his 60s,and he was actually prepared to
be very lonely, and even him hesaid it was like the least
loneliest time of his lifebecause he would go to
campgrounds or he'd be hikingand he would just meet people.
(16:40):
And I was like that's supercool to hear that.
So that's the only anecdotalevidence I have is from one
person and he said he met a lotof people.
So that's what I tell my dad.
I'm like just go, and if youstay probably in a campground,
you're more apt to meet someonethan if you're out boondocking
as a solo male, because I dothink people look at men maybe a
little bit more warily.
I know that we do, definitely.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Sometimes they tend to be really, really nice, but I
think they have more obstaclesprobably going for them than
women who are trying to findcommunity.
But definitely, and it leads meto another idea, which is like
the meetups are probably anotherway people can go, or you're
not like on social media orrunning into people, but you're
actually going to these events.
Have you been to any of theseevents yet?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, and that's another like really great way of
meeting people on the road.
It's kind of where you can meetlike the most amount of people,
I think, all at once.
So, yeah, my first bandgathering was back in the spring
of 2021, which was Descend onLos Sierra.
So Descend is a pretty popularvan gathering.
(17:43):
They do their signature likemost popular event is up in Bend
, oregon, every Labor Dayweekend, but they also do, over
Memorial Day weekend at May, asmaller gathering in California,
and so that was my first bandgathering.
It was Descend on Los Sierraand it was amazing because it
(18:04):
was really small, like I want tosay, maybe a hundred vans or so
.
So you really felt like youwere kind of I don't know,
seeing the same faces over andover.
Yeah, and that was where I meta lot of my, like Instagram
friends that I had, you know,been chatting with.
A lot of them were at thatevent, so I got to see some of
(18:25):
those people, some of thefriends that I had met that
winter, like just a few monthsprior.
It was like van gatherings area really great way of kind of
reconnecting with people thatyou've met on the road, and it's
also a really great thing.
If you've just hit the road oryou're a few months in and
you're kind of struggling tofind van community or you're not
on social media or don't wantthat to be the way you meet
(18:47):
people, I think van gatheringsare a really great way to go.
So yeah, some popular ones arethe Descend events.
There's Rubber Tramp Rendezvous, which happens every January in
court site.
There's the Journal of LastTime events.
There's Van Fest USA.
There's a number of them thatgo on throughout the year and
(19:10):
it's a really great way.
There's a lot of like music andspeakers and just downtime and I
think because, like you said,when you're boondocking it can
be a bit intimidating or justyou're not seeing as many people
.
But at a van event you know ifsomeone's like slide or door is
open generally, you know you cango pop in and say hi and just
have a conversation.
It's a really great way of justfinding people.
(19:33):
Also, it's really commonsometimes after van gatherings
for people to kind of hang inthe area or caravan together.
You know I've definitely spentthe weeks following a van event
with people I met at the event,kind of traveling and hiking and
floating on the river and doingactivities together, so it's a
really, you know, fun way ofmeeting people.
(19:56):
That feels like a little easierbarrier of entry, because I
think generally people are atband gatherings for the same
thing, which is buildingcommunity.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
That's true.
I was wondering if they'd beslightly intimidating, because I
love hanging out with people insmall groups of people.
But as an introvert, thinkingabout a large group of people to
me sounds slightly scary.
But I'm just curious, like Ibet a lot of van lifers are
introvert.
Yeah, knows how to approachpeople.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Yeah, I think I'm in like that.
I've had conversations withfriends before because I'm an
extrovert but I feel like thatis not the norm in van life.
I feel like there are way moreintroverts in van life than
there are extroverts.
But even for me and this islike a good point to bring up
like All of this talk of findingcommunity on the road it really
(20:43):
gives me like first day ofschool vibes, like Even as
someone who's nice meeting otherpeople and who will go up to
people and just makeconversation.
It's it kind of like takes abrain override.
Because I think, especially inlike US culture we're so like I
don't know when I used to livein a city and go out with my
friends, like you wouldn't go upand approach a stranger and
(21:03):
start typing with them.
That's just not how our culturereally works.
But in van life that kind ofyou have to kind of do that and
like you have to put yourselfout there and you have to kind
of, you know, be uncomfortable,but it like often pays off and
it was really interestingactually this.
I was just in Bend this fall fora little bit and there's like a
(21:24):
really popular area that peopletypically camp in up there and
there was like a bonfirehappening that night and I knew
one one girl and she was like,oh, I should come.
You know, there there was singa bonfire over there and I was
like, yeah, I'll come by, thatsounds fun.
And as I was walking over, Ilike had that like nervous
feeling because I'm like I onlyknow one person at this bonfire
(21:46):
and it feels really scary andintimidating Even though I've
been on the road for a long timenow to like go in to a
situation where you don't reallyknow anybody.
And so I was like really likehumbling of like oh, this is
like the first day of schoolagain.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Well, I'm happy to hear that extra extrovert also
feels sometimes at these events,because I guess and you put it
perfectly the new school vibething on first day of school,
because we did have a gatheringhere at the boat yard Recently
and like few days ago, and I waslike gosh, I don't know like
three, fours of the people here,like we need to have
icebreakers, you know.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
I was like are these people.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
But you're at the van life events, you know, sounds
like there there's so manyactivities and you just start,
you know, go to a fire pit, oryou go to an activity with
people.
You just it's an easier way tomeet people, I think, because
you're doing something in common.
So, yeah, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, what was my other question?
I was wondering is there a muchcrossover between, like van
lifers and RVers, do you think,when you're out and about and
about meeting people, I know tome van lifers seem like a
special breed of people, but I'mwondering if you've seen that
like the crossover?
Speaker 2 (22:54):
not a ton of crossover Between, like you know
, fifth wheelers or RVs.
I do, there are.
I have friends who are in kindof like the vintage I don't even
know what class they would bein, but kind of like the vintage
RVs I am, but they're not asyou know, they're not as common.
I feel like there's obviously alot of crossover of like vans
and school buses or schooliesand like truck campers and Try
(23:19):
to think one of their rigs, yeah, like the smaller, even like
Priuses or people in mini vans,but To this is obviously a
generalization.
But the people in like fifthwheels and RVers are typically
Like more weekenders or theirretirees and they're staying
more in campgrounds where, likeyou, I'm mostly staying on
(23:40):
public land boondocking, andanother like this is something
to mention too Like I In all ofthese ways I also I camp with
people a fair, a bit fair bit.
I camp with my van friends onBLM land and from there you kind
of meet other people likefriends of friends basically,
but out there you're just notseeing quite as many years, or
(24:04):
if they are, they're doing theirown thing and they're kind of
living a different lifestyle.
Then I think the typical vanlife is big generalization, but
yeah, oh, totally.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I've thought of that a lot, though, too, because my
mom does travel in a class, a RV, and she's like gosh, I meet
people all the time.
And she's like why aren't youmeeting people?
And I'm like, well, you havesuch a different Lifestyle and
approach, like you're in an RVpark and you're like 10 feet
from the next RVer or in acampground where people are kind
of walking the loops for daysand days on in like long-stay
campground and I'm like words,like moving around, and we're
(24:36):
way out in the sticks, and whensomeone approaches us, we're
kind of weirded out about it.
But that, and also I think thatanother generalization but we
tend to live a very grittylifestyle.
A lot of us don't have showers,you know.
We don't have toilets.
We're kind of like backpackersthat have an extra bit of
shelter.
It's kind of like, yeah, takesa certain person to want to do
van life, that's not everybody,100% like when you meet one of
(25:00):
your fellow Van lifers, youreally click with them.
It's kind of like sailing thecommunity that takes a certain
person.
I think a lot of sailors arevan lifers actually, because
it's also very gritty.
It's like actually it has morecomponents than van life.
Actually, in my sailboat I havelike a shower and a toilet and
an oven.
It feels big, yeah, but it'sdefinitely like a.
It's a gritty lifestyle, it'shard.
(25:21):
There can be some difficultparts of it.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
There's some like camaraderie and that goes on,
and like lots of swapping of,like just different stories
relating to those topics.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Oh for sure.
Yeah, so as a solo traveler,you probably have to balance
Community between wanting to goout on your own.
Do you feel like that'ssomething that?
Or how do you balance that partof van life?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah, I've kind of Figured out like a good Cadence.
I think generally like wintertime seems like the time that
people are in community morejust by proxy of like I've never
done like a snow van life, likethat's not my jam but and other
people who don't do snow vanlife, you're kind of limited to
(26:05):
where you can go, so a lot ofpeople go down to it.
You know the desert in Arizonaand Southern California and down
to Baja and by proxy You'rekind of in areas that are just
more populated so you're meetingmore people, sometimes out on
BLM land but even like outlaundromats or showering or
you're just kind of circling thesame places.
So van life in the winter feelsa bit more social to me,
(26:26):
especially these last twowinters that I've spent down and
bow how like you are Reallyaround people more often Then
you.
Then you would be whenever I'mtraveling and in my man and the
summer in the US, and thensummer time to me feels more
like I'm out doing my own thing,like there's just more to
explore.
You know some people hunkerdown and get seasonal jobs
(26:48):
during the summer.
There's just a bit more,there's more places that people
can be and it's a bit more to me.
That's like when I'm doing myBackpacking trips and really
just like going and liketraveling, where winter for the
past couple years has felt morelike Really being in community,
living on the beach with myfriends.
Like it's been just a differentkind of mindset for me and I
(27:11):
think Really easy to like burnyourself out on community Like I
know that I know like I need tolike have my routine, like I
need to make sure in the morningI don't open my door until I've
, like you, gotten my kind oflike head-on straight and I've
got my priority set for the day.
It's really easy, like when I'vecamped a lot, you know, with
(27:33):
groups of you know severalfriends and everyone has
different work schedules and youneed to have like a bit of
discipline.
Like I need to make sure I'mcarving out time to get my like
work obligations done.
I'm carving out time to besocial.
Like you know, there's everyday of the week people will be
doing different things andhaving different schedules.
I think you need to have a bitof like discipline and just
(27:55):
knowing what you need to do andlike also knowing like hey, I
need to take a couple days orI'm ready to move on and not
just feeling like I need to gripto people because I don't know
when the next time I'll bearound.
People is kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Right, yeah, that's interesting.
It is harder to get work donewhen you're just surrounded by
your friends like all day.
Yeah, yeah, I could see that.
Yeah, yeah, that's very.
That is so true, and especiallydown in Baja, I don't think
there's like as many boondockingopportunities, so it seems like
people are more condensed oncertain beaches and in areas.
Did you find that?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Yeah, I think especially if you have like a
capable four by four vehicle,you can definitely go to more
remote places.
But for me, and like a twowheel drive van, like I've kind
of done the kind of normal Bajaroute for vans, and there's many
, many times where you arecamping on beaches with like
lots of other people people youknow, people you don't know, but
(28:48):
it's just more.
Yeah, you're bumping into waymore people down there.
It's way less secluded, it'smore.
Even when you're on freebeaches there's just a lot of
people on them as well.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, yeah, totally.
And like how does thesociability of van life compare
to like your life prior?
Was it more social?
The same kind of how is itcomparing?
That's interesting.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
It's kind of I would say it's more like dark
differences.
Now, whereas you know I livedin Las Vegas, that's like the
last place I was in and you knowI lived with, I had a roommate.
So in that aspect, like in vanlife, like I can always retreat
to my own van, but yeah, inVegas, you know, like I had a
roommate, I had a really solidgroup of friends and we did a
(29:33):
lot of things together and I wasalways doing things our
weekends.
If I wasn't going and likehiking and exploring like around
Las Vegas, then I was going outa lot in Las.
Vegas.
So it's a different.
I don't know it was kind of adifferent.
It's hard to compare those two,but in van life it really does
feel like kind of like feast orfamine.
(29:55):
You're either like really aloneand like I'm out doing my own
thing and like not seeing a soulfor a week or two weeks on end,
or you're like around, you know, van community.
So I think it's just differentand it's definitely been finding
a balance for me.
I think there are seasons whereI want to be, you know, around
van friends and social, and thenthere's other times where I'm
(30:16):
like, yeah, like I like being bymyself, I like my own company,
I want to, you know, focus on X,Y and V or just kind of do my
own route and do my own thing.
So I think it just depends.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Just to that offer.
Van life offers like thatperfect mix where you can choose
to be alone or choose to bewith people, because when you're
in a city, you're constantlythere's people around, no matter
what.
Yeah, so you don't have as manychoices with alone time?
I think yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
And I think also with the community discussion, and I
think it's like important tomention like van life can still
be really lonely, like I'm notsaying that over.
You know the last three and ahalf years that I've not like
dealt with loneliness, so Ithink that's really important
just to mention as well thatlike there are going to be times
where you want to be aroundpeople and you really want
(31:02):
community and they're just notthere.
Like either by you're justthere, you know they're
physically not around, or youjust haven't met people yet.
Like those things are supervalid and if anybody is
listening to this and feelinglike gosh, I just like haven't
found it yet.
Like I think that's so common.
There's so many people who havenot yet found you know
community or people on the roadand know that it exists and it
(31:25):
just takes time, but it is outthere and it's really special,
you know when you find it.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, that is true, because I think also when living
in cities, people can join likeinterest groups and stuff.
I know when I lived in SanFrancisco, like I was deeply
involved in the tango anddancing community and you'd
instantly meet people or youcould join like a hiking group
or community.
So there's way more likecommunity functions you can join
when you're living in a city,where the van thing I think you
have to more actively beproactive and seek things out in
(31:54):
order to make it happen.
Yeah, totally.
So it's an interestingdifference.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, so cool.
Is there anything we missed?
I feel like we covered so muchwith how to find a community.
Was there any other thoughtsthat you had that I didn't think
of?
Speaker 2 (32:09):
I don't know.
Let me hear it, let me think Ithink we covered it.
Yeah, those were the main, mainways.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I think so too.
Yeah, those are the things thatI've heard from other people
that have experienced myself.
I'll have to go to a van meetupat some point.
I went to the Adventure VanExpo, but that wasn't really a
van lifer meetup, it was more ademonstration of different vans.
So I'll have to try like adescend event, like you said.
I think it'd be fun to go toone of those and meet, because I
haven't met many van lifers inperson.
You know, it's only beenthrough the podcast or through
(32:39):
Instagram.
It's more like I meet thesailors, and so it would be fun
to go and meet the van lifers atsome point.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
So I'll have to try that.
Yeah, yeah, they're fun.
I enjoy.
It's been a minute.
I haven't been to one in acouple of years, but they're,
they are fun.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Awesome, well, great, well.
Thank you for sharing all yourtips and just let people know,
like, where to follow you findyou.
You're always posting fun stuffon Instagram, so, yeah, working
people look you up.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah, so I yeah post often on Instagram.
My handle is at court like thebody part, but there's 70s.
This is a complicated usernamebut, yeah, court underscore in
70s.
Hopefully that's.
That'll just be in a show notes, it will be easier.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yes, yes, I'll definitely also put that in the
show notes.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Yeah, I've never had to say that out loud.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
And yeah, let people what's next for you, what are
you up to and what are your nextplans.
Yeah, I say in quotes yeah, Iam.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Actually, I think, at the end of this chapter of my
band life journey, I am.
I just listed my band last weekand I am hoping to go down to
Central America and spend timein Guatemala, el Salvador,
nicaragua, et cetera kind ofgetting back to I get my.
(33:58):
When I first took off to travelback in 2019, I had this vision
of living internationally and Ikind of want to get back to
that.
So, yeah, I am.
My band is for sales.
Anybody is looking for anamazing budget camper, van and,
yeah, heading to Central America.
(34:19):
But I know this won't be thelast time that I lived on the
road.
My fan life is my favorite wayof travel and I just need a
break.
Three and a half years fulltime is a lot.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, it is a lot.
I can't imagine doing thatbecause I also have the boat and
that feels like a break fromband life and vice versa.
I'm glad I have the two modesof travel because, yeah, the
boat just is a way differentform of travel and then
sometimes just staying put andbeing in a house or an apartment
or a hut or whatever is reallynice as well.
So we've done that in the pasttoo.
Yeah, totally so, that'sexciting that you're going to be
(34:52):
exploring a different,different style of nomadic
living.
There's so many styles that wecan do.
Yeah yeah, I'm excited, verycool.
And so where is your van listed?
If people listening, if it'sstill for sale when people hear
this, where can they check itout?
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Yeah, I have a post on Instagram.
It's also listed on FacebookMarketplace in Phoenix.
But yeah, if you actually, ifyou go to my Instagram, that has
all the information and you canshoot me a message there.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Very cool.
Well, thank you so much forcoming on the podcast and
talking about community.
I think people will find ithelpful.
So, thank you.
Yeah, thank you so much forhaving me.
Well, thanks so much forlistening to this episode of the
Wayward Home podcast.
If you want to stay in touchwith me via email and get
answers to all your questions,head on over to the
waywardhomecom forward slashsubscribe to join my email list.
(35:40):
That's the waywardhomecomforward slash subscribe, which
I'll also add to the show notes.
See you next time on theWayward Home podcast.
Getting started with Van Life or Nomadic Living
generally can have its fairshare of worries.
One of those is wondering ifyou'll have community on the
road.
One thing we noticed about VanLife is that we often boondock,
so we're hardly around anyone tomake friends with.
We found the sailing communityto be much easier for
friendships.
However, some Van Lifers havelearned how to make it work and
(00:20):
have maintained deep friendshipson the road.
In this episode of the WaywardHome Podcast, we'll get tips and
advice from one Van lifer who'sbeen living in her van solo for
over three years but haslearned how to find an awesome
community.
Let's go.
Welcome to the Wayward HomePodcast all about van life, boat
life and nomadic living.
We'll bring you tips,interviews and stories from the
road and on the water.
(00:41):
Now here's your host, kristenHaynes.
Hey there, I'm Kristen Hayneswith thewaywardhomecom and I
spend half the year in mySprinter van and half on my
sailboat in Mexico.
I hope to inspire you to livenomatically too.
So I get these types ofquestions all the time.
Well, how do I find friends onthe road?
Is van life lonely?
What are the best ways to findcommunity?
Today we have a lot of handytips on finding people to hang
(01:03):
out with when you're on the road, if you're solo or traveling as
a couple or even as a family.
I'd like to welcome CourtneyStevenson to the Wayward Home
Podcast.
She's been living in a van forover three years and has lots of
advice when it comes to findingcommunity on the road Now.
But before we get started,where are you right now in your
van?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, I am parked outside of my parents' house,
actually in Arizona for theholidays, on my path south for
winter and just stopping to seefamily.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Very cool.
So let's talk a little bitabout your background.
When did you get into van life?
Initially?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, so I was part of the COVID era van lifers.
I was actually on SoutheastAsia backpacking trip back in
2020.
I had quit my job in Las Vegas,had saved up money to travel,
was overseas 2019 and beginningof 2020, and then the pandemic
hit.
(02:01):
So I came back to the US and Iwas like, well, what do I do?
Like I don't want to settledown into a city.
The industry that I had beenworking in was decimated and I
was like, well, I'm probably notgoing to be able to get a job.
Slash in my mind.
I wasn't ready to find workagain.
I still had savings for travel.
So I had been following van lifefor a long, long time and I had
(02:23):
done van life for shorterperiods of time in other
countries before and it was likein the back of my mind like, oh
, I will do van life someday,but it wasn't at my radar.
But, yeah, with 2020, I endedup buying a van that summer, in
July, and I hit the road inSeptember of 2020, I expected to
be on the road for like sixmonths and then here we are,
(02:45):
three and a half years later.
Yeah, I have traveled all overthe US.
I've gone down to the tip ofBaja two winters in a row.
I love this lifestyle and yeah,that's kind of my journey, of
how I got into the van.
I'm in a 1999 Ford Accordalinethat has like a fiberglass
(03:06):
midroof on it.
Again, I wasn't workinginitially when I hit the road,
so I had kind of fixed savingsand I was like wanted to just
get something that would get meon the road, to get something
that wouldn't immediately makeme have to start finding work.
So I definitely went the budgetcamper van route and got
extremely lucky.
This van has been very solidand stable for me and, yeah,
(03:29):
she's been a great home, oh,fantastic.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Yeah, I went through the budget route with my van set
of Astro for many years andit's just nice to be able to
purchase something you don'thave to go into debt for if
you're not at that stage in lifewhere you're like making money.
So it's really nice to seepeople living out of more
affordable vans, because I thinkthe sprinters.
I have one now but it took along time to get one.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
And.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I think that people don't see those original initial
vans that are often more budgetoriented.
So I love that.
Yeah, that's what you have,yeah, so cool.
So you started in COVID and youmostly travel alone, right?
Or you started traveling alone.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yes, I started traveling alone and have mostly
been traveling alone, I did.
I met a van lifer and we datedfor a bit on the road.
But even with that we had ourseparate vans and we would
travel sometimes together andsometimes separately.
But yeah, for the most part Ihave been a solo female van
lifer for the majority of mytime on the road.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, and so did you ever have worries about, like,
how you would meet people orfind friends?
Because I know I get a lot ofpeople emailing me, even like my
dad, which is hilarious becausehe has a mini van.
He also lives in a house withhis girlfriend, but he's
thinking like I want to take aroad trip by myself because his
girlfriend's not retired, andhe's like but I'm going to be so
lonely, and I hear this all thetime from people.
(04:45):
So I'm wondering, like what youwere thinking or feeling about
that when you first leaped intoit.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, it was really interesting and I, as I was like
kind of getting you know readyto speak with you about finding
Community on the road, I waskind of like reminiscing on my
kind of journey of van life andfinding friends on the road.
And it was really interestingbecause when I First Started in
the van it was still like peakCOVID and people really weren't
(05:12):
interacting with one anotherLike even when you were out,
like on hiking trails, likepeople were just kind of keeping
their distance and everyone wasreally kind of distancing.
So it was interesting just likeentering van life during that
timeframe when things were stilljust kind of, you know,
gatherings weren't happening,you just weren't meeting people.
(05:33):
I also the first where Istarted van life, when my first
destination was the upperpeninsula of Michigan and then I
went through the northeast tolike Maine, vermont, new
Hampshire and those areBeautiful but there are not
destinations that are very likepopular with van lifers, so I
just wasn't meeting a ton ofpeople.
So I really did not, you know,make friends or find other van
(05:57):
lifers on the road for the first, I want to say, three or four
months.
It wasn't until headed down tokind of the southwest For my
first winter that I reallystarted meeting people in person
and really and this is kind ofmy like Tip number one of
finding community on the roadand what I did when I first hit
the road was I used social mediaa lot to Make these kind of
(06:20):
internet friends.
So one of the things was therethere used to be I don't know if
it still exists, but there wasa solo female van life Facebook
group that was pretty popularand Active and when people,
people would write likeintroduction posts and they
would post a couple photos andthey would just do a little bio,
and any time I was on thatFacebook group and I saw someone
(06:43):
who, like shared similarinterests, I would find them on
Instagram and I would just sendthem a message like hey, you
know, I'm Courtney, I'm alsoliving in a van, like hope you
know to connect with you downthe line and say Through me that
through like hashtags.
Again, I was primarily liketargeting like solo female van
lifers to find, you know, femalefriendship on the road, but
(07:05):
just kind of I had these likeinternet friends.
That son I still have, you know, no, and we've never met in
person and others.
Obviously, through the yearswe've been able to connect.
But really it was like beingable to kind of be bold on
social media and just like findpeople who seemed interesting
and kind of connect that way,especially again because in the
(07:25):
beginning I wasn't meetingpeople in person.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, that's super interesting that you say that,
because I feel like I do vanlife and boat life and when I'm
in the van especially, we liketo boondock and you're kind of
out in the middle of nowhere andyou're really not near other
vans and also it's weird.
Like to walk up to someone's vanin the middle of nowhere and be
like hi, do you want to hangout?
Like everyone's kind of lookingaround, like wondering who's
approaching.
So I find that Meeting peoplein the van world hasn't been as
(07:51):
easy for us.
Just because we're off the gridso much and we're in the boat,
you anchor in a specific areaand there's like four other
boats anchored there and youmeet people a lot easier in the
boat life and in a boat yard,like where I am now.
But social media, like what youwere saying, is how I've like
Interacted with most van lifers,even if I haven't met them in
person like you.
I've been chatting with you fora long time on Instagram, I'm
(08:13):
meeting.
But that's cool that youactually made it happen and met
the people in person and reallydid that coordination on Social
media.
So that's really interesting,yeah, yeah, and did you do like
Caravanning with them and likecamping with them and how did
that evolve?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Yeah, I guess.
So, yeah, the first time Iactually met other van lifers in
person was through, yeah, agirl that we had connected on
Instagram, my friend Macy, and Isaw this was, yeah, again,
winter, my first winter.
I was heading towards San Diegoand I saw her post an Instagram
story hanging out with othervan lifers in San Diego, and so
(08:55):
I remember being so nervousbecause I thought that they all
knew each other.
This is like a common, I think,misconception with, like van
lifers.
I I saw Macy hanging out with agroup of van lifers and I sent
her a message like, oh my gosh,like I'm coming to San Diego
next week, like you know, wouldyou mind if I joined you guys?
And I remember feeling sonervous to ask that.
(09:16):
And she was like, yeah, ofcourse, and like I ended up
meeting up with her in this likethat group and and from the
beginning it was just so good itwas.
It's actually that's where I metBrooke, who's a writer for the
Wayward home.
That's where I met Brooke,who's become a good, yeah, van
friend.
But it was just this kind ofmod podge group of people coming
(09:37):
in and out, you know, doingtheir own thing, going and
traveling.
Like you know, it was just thatwas the first time, yeah, that
I met people on the road and Iwas so nervous because you just
think that everyone knowseverybody.
But the longer that you're onthe road you just realize that
you know the the the door of vanlife is always evolving and
(09:58):
there's always new peopleHitting the road.
There's always people who areswitching to part-time or
getting off the road and you'realways like going to be able to
meet people.
And people don't always knoweach other and people generally
are very welcoming.
As long as you are, you know,kind of using good van life
etiquette, but people aregenerally very welcoming.
(10:18):
So, yeah, that was kind of myfirst time meeting other van
lipers.
And then I think it gets easieronce you start meeting people,
because it's like, okay, Istarted to connect with this
group in San Diego.
You know kind of seeing wheretheir travels took them
afterward, and then you'd belike, oh well, I'm now in Utah
and this person that I met inSan Diego is also in Utah.
(10:40):
Let's meet up in camp.
And then they have a fewfriends that they've met since
then and it just kind of, Idon't know, it gets easier, I
think once you've started toestablish meeting people for the
first time.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah, and then how do you keep track of like where
each other are?
Is it because you're posting tolike Instagram stories and
you're seeing like, oh, thisperson is here, I should connect
.
Or are there any other apps orways to sort of keep track of
your roaming friends?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, I am, it definitely is like.
I think that the van lifecommunity can be like heavy
Instagram based, because it is alot of times where you're like,
oh, I see, this person is alsoin this place.
I know some of the apps.
I don't know if it still is aspopular, but seeker as KR, they
(11:25):
have a feature where you cankind of turn, you can create a
profile and you can turn on yourlike location area so other
people in the same area canreach out and you can chat with
others.
And I've actually a couple ofyears ago in Joshua Tree, that's
how I met up, that's how I meta few friends, because there was
(11:48):
a girl who reached out to meand a handful of other people
who she all saw was in the samekind of general area, like, hey,
would you guys want to gettogether and have a potluck and
a bonfire?
And so we did, and it was fiveor six of us.
None of us had ever met before,just like met up, you know, for
an evening and it was great.
Yeah, so there's seeker.
(12:09):
Trying to think of other apps.
There's a company here calledKift that they do some caravan
he's going back to the caravanquestion.
They do some like establishedcaravans which are pretty cool.
They just did one in Novemberthat was going through the
Eastern Sierra in California andI know last winter they did a
big caravan down through Bajaand that was especially great.
(12:30):
Kift they have a lot of peoplewho work full time, like nine to
five jobs, and so that's been,I know, a good community for
some of my red friends who havemore traditional careers, to
meet people and also meet peoplewho are also working a similar
kind of schedule.
So, yeah, kift is another place.
I'm trying to think if there'sother apps or ways that people
(12:54):
have connected, but those arekind of the two big ones I think
Kift and seeker.
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And I didn't know that.
I've been intrigued by Kift fora while now.
I know that they if peopledon't know who they are, they
have a membership program whereyou can go live at these homes
and park your van.
It's like a van life communitything.
I didn't know they did caravans.
That's really interesting.
But have you tried Kift?
Have you been interested intrying Kift or what's your
thought about that?
I haven't.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I am.
I think it's really interesting.
I think it's a cool concept andespecially now that I've been
on the road as long as I have,you definitely go through stages
of kind of travel burnout andnot wanting to go through that,
not wanting to travel and driveall the time and also feeling
like you know, you're kind oflimited by two week camping
limit sometimes, where it's like, okay, kift would be, I think,
(13:42):
a really neat way of being ableto stay and the ride, but kind
of deep, you know, have thatkind of downtime but within
community.
So I think it's a really coolconcept.
I haven't personally checked itout, but it's just because I
haven't been in the areas thatthey've been having the houses.
But it is, I think, and I'vehad friends who have joined both
of their caravans and I've hadfriends or met people who have
(14:05):
lived at the Kift houses andit's a really cool concept.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Yeah, it sounds interesting.
I'd like to pop in and try itfor a few days at some point,
but it's probably not somethingI would do like full time, you
know, just because we do loveboondocking so much.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Yeah, out of nature.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
But it does sound really interesting in their home
, seem like they're neat areasand stuff.
So I think it could be a greatopportunity for someone you know
, depending on the stage of vanlife they're in and if they need
a break from the constantmovement, because that's the
hard part, yeah.
So yeah, have you found, like,when you were meeting up with
these people that you're meetingis it mostly, do you think,
(14:41):
women doing this?
Did sometimes solo men go, orlike, what was the demographic
of who people are pretending toconnect with out there?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I think it really depends on kind of your
lifestyle and like theactivities that you're doing and
like where you are.
I feel like I meet a lot ofsolo female vanlifers, but I
don't think that's likeself-fulfilling prophecy because
that's typically who I am likeconnecting with.
But even like I've justwhenever I've been hanging out
and meeting up with like a groupof vanlifers, it does feel like
(15:15):
it skews solo female vanlifers.
There's a lot of couples andthen they're like the kind of
the just barely lower is likesolo men on the road.
You kind of get all all allkinds of people and like one of
my favorite things of the roadis just I don't know, the wide
variety of like demographics andages and what people do for
(15:36):
work and their kind of roadstory.
You kind of get all of it.
But yeah, I definitely tend toconnect a lot with the other
women on the road Totally, andprobably neither of us know this
for sure.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
But I wonder if it's like harder for men to do this,
because I know I don't know ifmen are maybe some are, but some
that I know are not quite ascommunity oriented, like
actively seeking out other mento hang out with, and I know
women tend to be very likecommunity and friend oriented.
It's just like the way ourbrains work.
So I just wonder, like, what itwould be like for men.
I guess I should interview asolo male at some point and ask
(16:08):
do you have you, have you heardanything about that at all, what
it's like for them?
Or you mostly hang out withsolo females.
So it might be I got no, yeah,I don't really know.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I know I'm so curious .
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I did meet.
Actually I interviewed a manfor this podcast and he lived in
a Toyota Prius for a number ofyears and he was an older
gentleman, I think in his 60s,and he was actually prepared to
be very lonely, and even him hesaid it was like the least
loneliest time of his lifebecause he would go to
campgrounds or he'd be hikingand he would just meet people.
(16:40):
And I was like that's supercool to hear that.
So that's the only anecdotalevidence I have is from one
person and he said he met a lotof people.
So that's what I tell my dad.
I'm like just go, and if youstay probably in a campground,
you're more apt to meet someonethan if you're out boondocking
as a solo male, because I dothink people look at men maybe a
little bit more warily.
I know that we do, definitely.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Sometimes they tend to be really, really nice, but I
think they have more obstaclesprobably going for them than
women who are trying to findcommunity.
But definitely, and it leads meto another idea, which is like
the meetups are probably anotherway people can go, or you're
not like on social media orrunning into people, but you're
actually going to these events.
Have you been to any of theseevents yet?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, and that's another like really great way of
meeting people on the road.
It's kind of where you can meetlike the most amount of people,
I think, all at once.
So, yeah, my first bandgathering was back in the spring
of 2021, which was Descend onLos Sierra.
So Descend is a pretty popularvan gathering.
(17:43):
They do their signature likemost popular event is up in Bend
, oregon, every Labor Dayweekend, but they also do, over
Memorial Day weekend at May, asmaller gathering in California,
and so that was my first bandgathering.
It was Descend on Los Sierraand it was amazing because it
(18:04):
was really small, like I want tosay, maybe a hundred vans or so
.
So you really felt like youwere kind of I don't know,
seeing the same faces over andover.
Yeah, and that was where I meta lot of my, like Instagram
friends that I had, you know,been chatting with.
A lot of them were at thatevent, so I got to see some of
(18:25):
those people, some of thefriends that I had met that
winter, like just a few monthsprior.
It was like van gatherings area really great way of kind of
reconnecting with people thatyou've met on the road, and it's
also a really great thing.
If you've just hit the road oryou're a few months in and
you're kind of struggling tofind van community or you're not
on social media or don't wantthat to be the way you meet
(18:47):
people, I think van gatheringsare a really great way to go.
So yeah, some popular ones arethe Descend events.
There's Rubber Tramp Rendezvous, which happens every January in
court site.
There's the Journal of LastTime events.
There's Van Fest USA.
There's a number of them thatgo on throughout the year and
(19:10):
it's a really great way.
There's a lot of like music andspeakers and just downtime and I
think because, like you said,when you're boondocking it can
be a bit intimidating or justyou're not seeing as many people
.
But at a van event you know ifsomeone's like slide or door is
open generally, you know you cango pop in and say hi and just
have a conversation.
It's a really great way of justfinding people.
(19:33):
Also, it's really commonsometimes after van gatherings
for people to kind of hang inthe area or caravan together.
You know I've definitely spentthe weeks following a van event
with people I met at the event,kind of traveling and hiking and
floating on the river and doingactivities together, so it's a
really, you know, fun way ofmeeting people.
(19:56):
That feels like a little easierbarrier of entry, because I
think generally people are atband gatherings for the same
thing, which is buildingcommunity.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
That's true.
I was wondering if they'd beslightly intimidating, because I
love hanging out with people insmall groups of people.
But as an introvert, thinkingabout a large group of people to
me sounds slightly scary.
But I'm just curious, like Ibet a lot of van lifers are
introvert.
Yeah, knows how to approachpeople.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Yeah, I think I'm in like that.
I've had conversations withfriends before because I'm an
extrovert but I feel like thatis not the norm in van life.
I feel like there are way moreintroverts in van life than
there are extroverts.
But even for me and this islike a good point to bring up
like All of this talk of findingcommunity on the road it really
(20:43):
gives me like first day ofschool vibes, like Even as
someone who's nice meeting otherpeople and who will go up to
people and just makeconversation.
It's it kind of like takes abrain override.
Because I think, especially inlike US culture we're so like I
don't know when I used to livein a city and go out with my
friends, like you wouldn't go upand approach a stranger and
(21:03):
start typing with them.
That's just not how our culturereally works.
But in van life that kind ofyou have to kind of do that and
like you have to put yourselfout there and you have to kind
of, you know, be uncomfortable,but it like often pays off and
it was really interestingactually this.
I was just in Bend this fall fora little bit and there's like a
(21:24):
really popular area that peopletypically camp in up there and
there was like a bonfirehappening that night and I knew
one one girl and she was like,oh, I should come.
You know, there there was singa bonfire over there and I was
like, yeah, I'll come by, thatsounds fun.
And as I was walking over, Ilike had that like nervous
feeling because I'm like I onlyknow one person at this bonfire
(21:46):
and it feels really scary andintimidating Even though I've
been on the road for a long timenow to like go in to a
situation where you don't reallyknow anybody.
And so I was like really likehumbling of like oh, this is
like the first day of schoolagain.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Well, I'm happy to hear that extra extrovert also
feels sometimes at these events,because I guess and you put it
perfectly the new school vibething on first day of school,
because we did have a gatheringhere at the boat yard Recently
and like few days ago, and I waslike gosh, I don't know like
three, fours of the people here,like we need to have
icebreakers, you know.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
I was like are these people.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
But you're at the van life events, you know, sounds
like there there's so manyactivities and you just start,
you know, go to a fire pit, oryou go to an activity with
people.
You just it's an easier way tomeet people, I think, because
you're doing something in common.
So, yeah, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, what was my other question?
I was wondering is there a muchcrossover between, like van
lifers and RVers, do you think,when you're out and about and
about meeting people, I know tome van lifers seem like a
special breed of people, but I'mwondering if you've seen that
like the crossover?
Speaker 2 (22:54):
not a ton of crossover Between, like you know
, fifth wheelers or RVs.
I do, there are.
I have friends who are in kindof like the vintage I don't even
know what class they would bein, but kind of like the vintage
RVs I am, but they're not asyou know, they're not as common.
I feel like there's obviously alot of crossover of like vans
and school buses or schooliesand like truck campers and Try
(23:19):
to think one of their rigs, yeah, like the smaller, even like
Priuses or people in mini vans,but To this is obviously a
generalization.
But the people in like fifthwheels and RVers are typically
Like more weekenders or theirretirees and they're staying
more in campgrounds where, likeyou, I'm mostly staying on
(23:40):
public land boondocking, andanother like this is something
to mention too Like I In all ofthese ways I also I camp with
people a fair, a bit fair bit.
I camp with my van friends onBLM land and from there you kind
of meet other people likefriends of friends basically,
but out there you're just notseeing quite as many years, or
(24:04):
if they are, they're doing theirown thing and they're kind of
living a different lifestyle.
Then I think the typical vanlife is big generalization, but
yeah, oh, totally.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
I've thought of that a lot, though, too, because my
mom does travel in a class, a RV, and she's like gosh, I meet
people all the time.
And she's like why aren't youmeeting people?
And I'm like, well, you havesuch a different Lifestyle and
approach, like you're in an RVpark and you're like 10 feet
from the next RVer or in acampground where people are kind
of walking the loops for daysand days on in like long-stay
campground and I'm like words,like moving around, and we're
(24:36):
way out in the sticks, and whensomeone approaches us, we're
kind of weirded out about it.
But that, and also I think thatanother generalization but we
tend to live a very grittylifestyle.
A lot of us don't have showers,you know.
We don't have toilets.
We're kind of like backpackersthat have an extra bit of
shelter.
It's kind of like, yeah, takesa certain person to want to do
van life, that's not everybody,100% like when you meet one of
(25:00):
your fellow Van lifers, youreally click with them.
It's kind of like sailing thecommunity that takes a certain
person.
I think a lot of sailors arevan lifers actually, because
it's also very gritty.
It's like actually it has morecomponents than van life.
Actually, in my sailboat I havelike a shower and a toilet and
an oven.
It feels big, yeah, but it'sdefinitely like a.
It's a gritty lifestyle, it'shard.
(25:21):
There can be some difficultparts of it.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
There's some like camaraderie and that goes on,
and like lots of swapping of,like just different stories
relating to those topics.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Oh for sure.
Yeah, so as a solo traveler,you probably have to balance
Community between wanting to goout on your own.
Do you feel like that'ssomething that?
Or how do you balance that partof van life?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah, I've kind of Figured out like a good Cadence.
I think generally like wintertime seems like the time that
people are in community morejust by proxy of like I've never
done like a snow van life, likethat's not my jam but and other
people who don't do snow vanlife, you're kind of limited to
(26:05):
where you can go, so a lot ofpeople go down to it.
You know the desert in Arizonaand Southern California and down
to Baja and by proxy You'rekind of in areas that are just
more populated so you're meetingmore people, sometimes out on
BLM land but even like outlaundromats or showering or
you're just kind of circling thesame places.
So van life in the winter feelsa bit more social to me,
(26:26):
especially these last twowinters that I've spent down and
bow how like you are Reallyaround people more often Then
you.
Then you would be whenever I'mtraveling and in my man and the
summer in the US, and thensummer time to me feels more
like I'm out doing my own thing,like there's just more to
explore.
You know some people hunkerdown and get seasonal jobs
(26:48):
during the summer.
There's just a bit more,there's more places that people
can be and it's a bit more to me.
That's like when I'm doing myBackpacking trips and really
just like going and liketraveling, where winter for the
past couple years has felt morelike Really being in community,
living on the beach with myfriends.
Like it's been just a differentkind of mindset for me and I
(27:11):
think Really easy to like burnyourself out on community Like I
know that I know like I need tolike have my routine, like I
need to make sure in the morningI don't open my door until I've
, like you, gotten my kind oflike head-on straight and I've
got my priority set for the day.
It's really easy, like when I'vecamped a lot, you know, with
(27:33):
groups of you know severalfriends and everyone has
different work schedules and youneed to have like a bit of
discipline.
Like I need to make sure I'mcarving out time to get my like
work obligations done.
I'm carving out time to besocial.
Like you know, there's everyday of the week people will be
doing different things andhaving different schedules.
I think you need to have a bitof like discipline and just
(27:55):
knowing what you need to do andlike also knowing like hey, I
need to take a couple days orI'm ready to move on and not
just feeling like I need to gripto people because I don't know
when the next time I'll bearound.
People is kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Right, yeah, that's interesting.
It is harder to get work donewhen you're just surrounded by
your friends like all day.
Yeah, yeah, I could see that.
Yeah, yeah, that's very.
That is so true, and especiallydown in Baja, I don't think
there's like as many boondockingopportunities, so it seems like
people are more condensed oncertain beaches and in areas.
Did you find that?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Yeah, I think especially if you have like a
capable four by four vehicle,you can definitely go to more
remote places.
But for me, and like a twowheel drive van, like I've kind
of done the kind of normal Bajaroute for vans, and there's many
, many times where you arecamping on beaches with like
lots of other people people youknow, people you don't know, but
(28:48):
it's just more.
Yeah, you're bumping into waymore people down there.
It's way less secluded, it'smore.
Even when you're on freebeaches there's just a lot of
people on them as well.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Yeah, yeah, totally.
And like how does thesociability of van life compare
to like your life prior?
Was it more social?
The same kind of how is itcomparing?
That's interesting.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
It's kind of I would say it's more like dark
differences.
Now, whereas you know I livedin Las Vegas, that's like the
last place I was in and you knowI lived with, I had a roommate.
So in that aspect, like in vanlife, like I can always retreat
to my own van, but yeah, inVegas, you know, like I had a
roommate, I had a really solidgroup of friends and we did a
(29:33):
lot of things together and I wasalways doing things our
weekends.
If I wasn't going and likehiking and exploring like around
Las Vegas, then I was going outa lot in Las.
Vegas.
So it's a different.
I don't know it was kind of adifferent.
It's hard to compare those two,but in van life it really does
feel like kind of like feast orfamine.
(29:55):
You're either like really aloneand like I'm out doing my own
thing and like not seeing a soulfor a week or two weeks on end,
or you're like around, you know, van community.
So I think it's just differentand it's definitely been finding
a balance for me.
I think there are seasons whereI want to be, you know, around
van friends and social, and thenthere's other times where I'm
(30:16):
like, yeah, like I like being bymyself, I like my own company,
I want to, you know, focus on X,Y and V or just kind of do my
own route and do my own thing.
So I think it just depends.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Just to that offer.
Van life offers like thatperfect mix where you can choose
to be alone or choose to bewith people, because when you're
in a city, you're constantlythere's people around, no matter
what.
Yeah, so you don't have as manychoices with alone time?
I think yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
And I think also with the community discussion, and I
think it's like important tomention like van life can still
be really lonely, like I'm notsaying that over.
You know the last three and ahalf years that I've not like
dealt with loneliness, so Ithink that's really important
just to mention as well thatlike there are going to be times
where you want to be aroundpeople and you really want
(31:02):
community and they're just notthere.
Like either by you're justthere, you know they're
physically not around, or youjust haven't met people yet.
Like those things are supervalid and if anybody is
listening to this and feelinglike gosh, I just like haven't
found it yet.
Like I think that's so common.
There's so many people who havenot yet found you know
community or people on the roadand know that it exists and it
(31:25):
just takes time, but it is outthere and it's really special,
you know when you find it.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, that is true, because I think also when living
in cities, people can join likeinterest groups and stuff.
I know when I lived in SanFrancisco, like I was deeply
involved in the tango anddancing community and you'd
instantly meet people or youcould join like a hiking group
or community.
So there's way more likecommunity functions you can join
when you're living in a city,where the van thing I think you
have to more actively beproactive and seek things out in
(31:54):
order to make it happen.
Yeah, totally.
So it's an interestingdifference.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Yeah, so cool.
Is there anything we missed?
I feel like we covered so muchwith how to find a community.
Was there any other thoughtsthat you had that I didn't think
of?
Speaker 2 (32:09):
I don't know.
Let me hear it, let me think Ithink we covered it.
Yeah, those were the main, mainways.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I think so too.
Yeah, those are the things thatI've heard from other people
that have experienced myself.
I'll have to go to a van meetupat some point.
I went to the Adventure VanExpo, but that wasn't really a
van lifer meetup, it was more ademonstration of different vans.
So I'll have to try like adescend event, like you said.
I think it'd be fun to go toone of those and meet, because I
haven't met many van lifers inperson.
You know, it's only beenthrough the podcast or through
(32:39):
Instagram.
It's more like I meet thesailors, and so it would be fun
to go and meet the van lifers atsome point.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
So I'll have to try that.
Yeah, yeah, they're fun.
I enjoy.
It's been a minute.
I haven't been to one in acouple of years, but they're,
they are fun.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Awesome, well, great, well.
Thank you for sharing all yourtips and just let people know,
like, where to follow you findyou.
You're always posting fun stuffon Instagram, so, yeah, working
people look you up.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah, so I yeah post often on Instagram.
My handle is at court like thebody part, but there's 70s.
This is a complicated usernamebut, yeah, court underscore in
70s.
Hopefully that's.
That'll just be in a show notes, it will be easier.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yes, yes, I'll definitely also put that in the
show notes.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Yeah, I've never had to say that out loud.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
And yeah, let people what's next for you, what are
you up to and what are your nextplans.
Yeah, I say in quotes yeah, Iam.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Actually, I think, at the end of this chapter of my
band life journey, I am.
I just listed my band last weekand I am hoping to go down to
Central America and spend timein Guatemala, el Salvador,
nicaragua, et cetera kind ofgetting back to I get my.
(33:58):
When I first took off to travelback in 2019, I had this vision
of living internationally and Ikind of want to get back to
that.
So, yeah, I am.
My band is for sales.
Anybody is looking for anamazing budget camper, van and,
yeah, heading to Central America.
(34:19):
But I know this won't be thelast time that I lived on the
road.
My fan life is my favorite wayof travel and I just need a
break.
Three and a half years fulltime is a lot.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, it is a lot.
I can't imagine doing thatbecause I also have the boat and
that feels like a break fromband life and vice versa.
I'm glad I have the two modesof travel because, yeah, the
boat just is a way differentform of travel and then
sometimes just staying put andbeing in a house or an apartment
or a hut or whatever is reallynice as well.
So we've done that in the pasttoo.
Yeah, totally so, that'sexciting that you're going to be
(34:52):
exploring a different,different style of nomadic
living.
There's so many styles that wecan do.
Yeah yeah, I'm excited, verycool.
And so where is your van listed?
If people listening, if it'sstill for sale when people hear
this, where can they check itout?
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Yeah, I have a post on Instagram.
It's also listed on FacebookMarketplace in Phoenix.
But yeah, if you actually, ifyou go to my Instagram, that has
all the information and you canshoot me a message there.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Very cool.
Well, thank you so much forcoming on the podcast and
talking about community.
I think people will find ithelpful.
So, thank you.
Yeah, thank you so much forhaving me.
Well, thanks so much forlistening to this episode of the
Wayward Home podcast.
If you want to stay in touchwith me via email and get
answers to all your questions,head on over to the
waywardhomecom forward slashsubscribe to join my email list.
(35:40):
That's the waywardhomecomforward slash subscribe, which
I'll also add to the show notes.
See you next time on theWayward Home podcast.
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