June 10, 2025 • 42 mins
Raising kids in a digital world comes with challenges most parents never had to face growing up. In this episode of The Wellness Connection with Fiona Kane, we explore how to guide children through the online space safely and mindfully - from social media to screen time, gaming, and beyond.
Fiona is joined by digital marketing expert Michael Furcciniti, who shares real-world insights about what children are actually seeing online and how parents can respond with calm, smart strategies.
Learn how to:
– Talk to your kids about what they’re seeing online
– Create healthy tech habits without fear or guilt
– Understand how algorithms affect your child’s view of the world
– Equip them with critical thinking and emotional awareness
👪 Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or carer - this conversation is packed with tools to help you raise grounded, self-aware kids in a tech-heavy world.
👉 Like, subscribe, and share if this episode helped you or someone you know.
Connect with Michael on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-furcciniti-9885361b1/
Learn more about booking a nutrition consultation with Fiona: https://informedhealth.com.au/
Learn more about Fiona's speaking and media services: https://fionakane.com.au/
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Credit for the music used in this podcast:
The Beat of Nature
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Fiona Kane (00:01):
Hello and welcome to the Wellness Connection Podcast
.
I'm your host, Fiona Kane.
Today I have a guest and we'regoing to be talking about the
Wild West of social media.
His name is now.
Just be kind to me about thisone.
I'm going to try and pronounceit right, but it's Michael
Furccinti, is that right,Michael?
Michael Furcciniti (00:20):
That's fantastic.
That's fantastic.
Fiona Kane (00:23):
Got one of those names that can be pronounced a
few different ways, or is itjust like there's the Australian
way of saying it and there's away that you actually say it?
Michael Furcciniti (00:32):
That's it.
I mean you lose people if youspend 10 minutes trying to
explain how to pronounce it.
So whatever way, yeah.
Fiona Kane (00:40):
So, michael, the reason that I've invited you on
today besides the fact thatwe've met a few times and we've
had a coffee and I feel likewe're quite, you know, maybe not
best friends, but acquaintances, friends, whatever you said
something on LinkedIn the otherday.
You were sort of showing somevideos and some Instagram videos
and things and just talkingabout like this is what your
(01:02):
kids are really seeing and thisis.
You can't really stop it, butthis is what you might be able
to do.
You know strategies, whatever.
So I suppose it's kind of likethat.
I think what you were saying tome before we got started is,
you know, we were talking about,like you know, the beginning,
when we just said the wild westof social media is a bit of a
wild west and so I don't thinkwe can make it go away.
(01:24):
So I suppose the question isyou know, what can we do about
it?
But before I even start there,I'm very rude.
How about you just tell us alittle bit about who you are?
We'll start there and thenwe'll get launched into the
conversation.
Michael Furcciniti (01:37):
Sure, well, thanks for having me.
My name is Michael.
I do social media marketing fora living.
Is Michael, I do social mediamarketing for a living?
I suppose my interest in thisparticular topic is, or has been
, piqued by the kind of workthat I do, but also just how
long I've been using socialmedia myself.
I have kind of tertiaryqualifications in marketing and
(02:01):
so on, but I think there'snothing like being raised by the
internet and I think a lot ofkids of my generation have seen
a lot of things and I'm justinterested to talk more about it
and use that background that Ihave in my settlement and social
media just to colour theperspectives of, maybe, the
(02:23):
parents.
Fiona Kane (02:26):
So are you millennial or are you Gen Z?
Michael Furcciniti (02:29):
This is a great question.
I don't know the difference.
What are the guidelines?
Fiona Kane (02:33):
I don't know where it changes over.
I think it changed oversomewhere around 2000 or
something, but I'm not sure I'dhave to look it up.
So you might be on a cuspsomewhere, I don't know.
I don't know your age.
You might be on a cuspsomewhere, I don't know.
I don't know your age.
Michael Furcciniti (02:46):
You might be on a cusp somewhere, maybe just
I'm 99, 1999, so I might be.
That's the year I got married.
Fiona Kane (02:51):
Oh wow, you got married that year.
Uh, and I was 27, making mefeel really old.
I think that might be on thecusp, maybe I don't know, so you
might be like a, a latemillennial, still a millennial,
I don't know.
Anyway, it doesn't matter, butyou're somewhere on the cusp.
There.
I'm a Gen Xer, so you'recertainly in that generation
after me.
(03:11):
So that's the thing, and a lotof people who listen to this
podcast and watch this podcastare Gen Xers or over, and so I
suppose, where would you like tostart?
What do we need to know?
What do we need to know?
What do we need to know aboutsocial media and about the
internet?
What are the things?
Michael Furcciniti (03:30):
that parents just don't understand when to
start.
I think the way that the socialmedians themselves are designed
is that they want to keep youhooked, you hooked.
(03:50):
So the idea is that every dayyou know, every, every year that
we exist on these platforms,we're trying to push the
envelope.
And the things that are gettingposted, um, you might, as a
parent for a child that has aphone, might have no tools, the
kind of things that they'resaying, and they're not
necessarily things that areillegal or immoral, but just the
most bizarre, mind-numbingthings that the overwhelming
(04:12):
majority of children have notbeen prepped to be able to
understand.
So there's a gap between,there's an educational gap, I
would say, and that's the thingthat's missing from schools,
from the educational system.
Fiona Kane (04:28):
And so when you like .
Obviously, we've all heard ofyou know porn on social media
and you know violence and thingslike that.
That's a concern that peoplehave and I don't know if parents
fully understand how much thekids are saying that as well.
But are you talking aboutsomething different to that then
?
What are you talking about?
Michael Furcciniti (04:47):
The porn's a big one.
It's not.
It looks a little different onsocial media because you can't
have full-on nudity.
But it's not just things likethat.
It's things like the onlinegambling culture that you know.
Kids in early secondary aregetting hooked on because
they're hooked on sports andthey love watching and they love
bedding at lunchtime.
(05:07):
It's like you said, theviolence as well.
It's very outlandish opinionsthat they might not have heard
in their family or at school andthey can be so strange that
they're enticing.
(05:28):
And if you don't understandthat, other people have, you
know, different backgrounds anddifferent upwindings.
It's um easy to get caught up,caught up in online communities
where they're echo chambers,right, everybody agrees with the
same thing.
Yes, in a subset of theinternet.
(05:49):
Yeah, that's why I say it's notnecessarily illegal content.
It's just things that are a seaof ideas that it's hard to make
sense of.
Fiona Kane (05:59):
Yeah, and look, I didn't even think of online
gambling because it's just notmy thing, so I just didn't even
think about it.
And that's the thing, too, thatI don't understand, because I
know you were just talking aboutsport there.
But the other thing, actually,that parents have concern around
and I hear that, oh, Ishouldn't be so concerned, blah,
blah, blah.
I don't know the answer to this, but gaming online so the games
(06:19):
themselves may or may not be aproblem, but maybe their access
to messaging within the games isa problem.
To give me a bit of a, I hadthe last game on my well, the
last game I played on a computerwas Leisure Suit Larry.
Michael Furcciniti (06:33):
Oh, wow.
Fiona Kane (06:34):
And he used to play that with, like I think it was
the, I think it was, I can'tremember if it was.
I think it was the little disks, the three-and-a-half-inch
disks, and you know it wouldstop and you'd have to put the
next disc in, and it certainlywasn't on the internet, it was
just on your own computer oh,wow that was the last time I
played a computer game, so Ihave got no idea.
So just treat it like you'retalking to an idiot, because
(06:56):
honestly I have no idea.
So just tell me a little bitabout.
Is there concerns about games,or is it more about messaging in
the games games?
What's going on there?
Michael Furcciniti (07:04):
Gaming, I will say, is not something I
have a lot of exposure to.
In my own social mediaalgorithms, I think the biggest
thing that I can see is not somuch the gaming but it's the
streaming culture.
So it's very popular.
It's a very popular pursuit fora lot of people influencers to
(07:25):
stream themselves playing a game, and there have been several
internet celebrities that havecome out of that, not
necessarily because of anythingin particular, but just because
they're funny to watch as theyplay um again, one of the things
that parents can't quite wraptheir heads around why are you
watching someone else play agame that you can play yourself?
(07:48):
But I suppose there's scopethere for some strange ideas and
some strange content, but Ithink, by and large, at a
surface level, there's somecrazy violence in the game.
Not that that's anything new,and since probably the I can't
(08:11):
recall, I don't know, maybe I'llbe in the streets as well, but
it's always been around.
Fiona Kane (08:15):
It's always been around, yeah, so violence is one
of the issues in there.
I do think that there is amessaging aspect as well, though
isn't there that the peopleyou're gaming with can message
you, and that can be an issuefor who's getting in contact
with you and who you're talkingto.
Michael Furcciniti (08:31):
That's true.
That's true, that's true.
There's definitely uh potentialfor, uh, I suppose, stalking
and harassment, um, but not eventhat, even just some of the
things that get said online.
I mean, there's a was a wholesubculture of memes about if the
group chats got leaked fromthis particular game when the
boys you know were playing whenwe were teenagers, we'd all be
(08:51):
in prison.
Yeah, and it's um, it's thelanguage, it's the, it's the
culture, um, but maybe not thegame itself, but, like you say,
the messaging component yeah,yeah, and I think there was
always like I was.
Fiona Kane (09:03):
I was hearing some uh, I can't remember.
It might have been on umsomeone's podcast the other day
might have been chris williamsand someone's podcast, and
there's a couple guys talkingabout this and they were talking
about look hey, if you guys inthe locker room or guys in the
pub or whatever there's alwaysbeen like historically, I think
if you recorded guys in thosesituations, whatever they said,
it could be used against them inthe future, because there's
(09:25):
just like that bro talk,whatever you know, which is is
one thing, but I suppose this isthat on steroids, because it's
a lot of it's anonymous, sopeople say all sorts of things
and there's some some braveryabout being behind the keyboard
or you know, as opposed to beingin person, that you might not
say something in person.
Or even if you did, it's asmall group of friends that
(09:48):
you're with as opposed to online.
It's a lot more people willhear and hear what you're saying
.
Is that fair to say?
Michael Furcciniti (09:55):
yeah, that's , that's the biggest irony,
right is that when people areanonymous, they are who they
really are, so they can sayexactly what's on their mind and
they don't have to have anyrestraint at all yes, yeah, yeah
.
Fiona Kane (10:08):
So the anonymity is what kind of brings out the I
don't know.
Yeah, like you said, you seewho they really are, or or or
just them sort of trying to playsome character or be.
You know, I think a lot ofpeople it's like I'm bigger and
braver and they're online andthey, you know, it's that macho
thing that they do as well.
Is that part?
Michael Furcciniti (10:27):
of it.
Yeah for sure, yeah for sure.
You know, I know, maybe it'sthat.
Yeah, it's frame in a way.
Fiona Kane (10:35):
So I suppose from that point of view look, I'm not
a parent, I can't, you know, Italk about just what I learn
about.
But I would just say to parentsthat some of the stuff that
you've been talking about reallya big thing.
What it comes back to for me isthat really, when I was growing
up, we used to sit down andhave dinner at the table
(10:55):
together.
We didn't have phones then, sowe weren't playing with our
phones.
The phone was a thing on thewall and we used to talk about
our day and we used to talkabout things.
So if there was an election, wewould talk about that.
Or if something happened atschool, or I think one day there
was a fire at my school,whatever, we talked about that.
(11:16):
But if you talk to your kidsevery day and you talk to them
about just the world and thingsin the world, whatever you feel,
age appropriate, but if you getthem into having conversations
about, well, these are ourfamily values and these are why.
But other people have differentvalues and this might be why
(11:37):
and you're going to be exposedto this in the world, because I
think it's like we kind ofunderstand that to a certain
degree, but I think that wedon't expect children, our kids,
to be exposed to those sorts ofthings, maybe until they leave
home or until they get to likethey're in high school or they
go to work or whatever.
But with online, they're goingto be exposed to it as soon as
they're in high school or theygo to work or whatever, but with
online, they're going to beexposed to it as soon as they're
online.
So if those kids are onlinewhen they're 10, then that's the
(12:00):
point at which they're going tostart to be exposed to those
ideas that maybe they just arenot ready to deal with.
Michael Furcciniti (12:09):
Absolutely, and you can do all you can in
your power as a parent toeducate your children to to be
around them, but then you canhave, as soon as they get on the
bus and they're fast enough,showing someone, or they go to
school and they're meant to talkabout whatever happened online,
it's um, it's pretty clear thatyou can't shelter.
(12:30):
You can only shelter them inthe very few minutes you have
with them, basically every daywhere they've got your attention
, yes, and then it's open season.
So you really have to make surethat, yeah, you communicate and
you educate on the wide web.
The danger is, if you don'ttalk to them about things before
(12:52):
they see them, you are thesecond impression and it's I
mean, exposure to certain thingsonline is getting younger and
younger.
For children and they're nofault of their own it's just the
content that gets attention,gets attention.
Also, it gets pushed toeverybody and if you don't beat
(13:15):
it, you're, you're, you'recoming second place, right?
Fiona Kane (13:19):
yeah, what you said there is actually really
important is that if you, if youdon't get in first, yours is
the second impression, so thefirst they get is whoever random
person out there is and itcould be good or it might not be
but if you get in first andyou're sort of saying these are
our values and this is why webelieve in this and this is, you
(13:39):
know, and this is what being agood human being looks like, and
this is what being a goodperson looks like, and this is
what being you know, and even tothe point of, I think, some of
the stuff I mentioned to youbefore we started, that I anyone
who watches this, listens tothis will know I've been talking
a lot about adolescence and Iknow you haven't seen that yet,
(13:59):
but in that there was this wholekind of it was about the dating
scene, a little bit about that,and you know this boy had been
rejected and so he was.
He's what they would class asan incel these days, although
really aren't all 13-year-oldsincels, because an incel is
involuntary, celebrant, right,and we want to hope that
(14:20):
actually, all well, notinvoluntary, because we kind of
just want to hope that they justare celebrant, let's put it
that way.
But certainly, you know, themajority of 13-year-olds are not
up for that, not ready for that, shouldn't be doing those
things, and so they would beanyway.
But just these days, becausethe insult incels the word that
they use sort of as, as somewhatof an insult.
(14:41):
But they were talking again asa podcast I listened to the
other day.
I'm trying to think if it wasChris Williams I can't remember
who it was, but they were sayingthat like don't we need.
What we do need to do is teachchildren about.
You know, maybe at school, whenthey, you know, they do the sex
(15:01):
ed or whatever, but maybe theyshould do about dating, maybe
they should do about onlinedating.
Maybe they should talk about,uh, what to you know what sort
of person you want to be.
You know, like it's not assimple as who do I want, but
it's who do I have to be to getthat person.
And so, uh, what?
What does being a good partnerlook like?
What is good being a goodboyfriend or good girlfriend or
whatever?
What does that look like?
What are the expectations andwhat are the expectations on you
(15:23):
and you know, and what's what'sconsidered normal?
Uh, because even just thingslike, um, uh, I've seen young
pop stars, uh, female pop stars,say that they think that
getting strangled is normalbecause they've grown up seeing
that sort of stuff online.
Now, no one in my generationthought that was normal.
I mean, my generation stillthought that, you know, having
(15:45):
hair in private places was quiteacceptable, right?
let alone this crazy, crazy townstuff these kids are being
exposed to.
But maybe we need to be like asawful as it might have to be
having these conversations, butwe actually do need to teach
children about what are normalexpectations and and what, and
what are the healthy boundariesand what does a healthy
(16:07):
relationship look like?
And and can you choose?
What can you choose or not, youknow?
Can you say no, blah, blah,blah.
But I suspect that with some ofthese young people, boys and
girls, if they're being exposedto that stuff which is way
beyond their understanding,they're actually going to be,
you know, frightened and freakedout about partnering up as well
(16:28):
.
Is that sort of?
Do you think that's part ofwhat's going on Potentially?
Michael Furcciniti (16:34):
Pot on Potentially, potentially.
I think online dating is awhole other can of worms.
School and education definitelyhas a part to play in that, in
terms of getting people tosocialise and well, but I think
(16:54):
it comes down to the examplethat parents set in their
marriage.
Everything starts at the home,right.
Fiona Kane (17:00):
Yeah, it starts at the home.
Michael Furcciniti (17:01):
And if what they're seeing their parents do
as a couple, if their parentsare together and, you know, in a
happy marriage, if what they'reseeing does not match with what
they're being fed online, thenthey'll have to choose.
One of those things is helpfuland one of those things is not.
Yes, and I think it's probablynot enough just to live by
(17:24):
examples.
Um, you have to, you know,communicate at the level that
the child is at, you know,obviously not too much detail,
too young, but, um, this is whata healthy relationship looks
like.
We're not perfect and youshouldn't go out there expecting
to find someone as good as whatyou might see on social media,
(17:45):
or if you have, you know,comparison to these superstar
athletes or whatever you know,supermodels, it's just it's not
really listed.
And, um, or I suppose it is, ifyou're basically willing to
sell your soul to a lifetime ofinjections and supplements, and
both of us, yeah, yeah, I thinkthat's the difference too.
Fiona Kane (18:08):
Like when I was growing up, you know, you were
probably going to cook up withsomeone who lived in your town,
maybe went to your school ormaybe someone you met at work I
met my husband at work butgenerally we met people who were
kind of local and ourcompetition was our kind of
local group of people, reallyOkay, and we weren't competing
(18:28):
with Instagram models or this orthat.
And you know, they did have.
You know, I grew up in the timeof the supermodel, so the
Claudia Schiffers and theElmwick Fersons and the Christy
Turlington's and all that but itwas very clear that like I
wasn't competing with them, likethey were going to be dating
the other supermodels or therock stars or whoever they were
going to be dating, and I wasgoing to be dating a regular guy
(18:49):
.
And so, even though that theywas there and we saw them on the
cover of magazines and youmight have bought a lipstick
because you wanted to look likethem or whatever, you knew you
couldn't be them and you knewyou were still, you know, your,
your dating pool was the peoplearound you.
But now that people arecomparing themselves to all
those sort of this instagramstuff and I think kids are
(19:11):
growing up now so.
So we didn't have cameras.
Like, we had a camera butfamily might have a camera and
it costs you a fortune to getthe film developed.
So you get a film developedonce every six months, you know
so, and they're all bad photosof all the heads cut off and
stuff, whereas today kids aregrowing up with cameras in their
pocket and so they're lookingat themselves a lot more and
(19:33):
they've got all these filtersand all that.
So we didn't really grow uplooking at ourselves.
You'd look at yourself in themirror before you left the house
, but that was it.
So we also didn't have toobsess about well, do I look
like that Instagram model or doI look like that influencer on
TikTok or whatever.
We just weren't affected asmuch by all the TikTok
influencing and stuff.
We were affected by the kids inthe playground and maybe a
(19:55):
little bit what we read in dollymagazine, but that was pretty
much it.
That was what we were exposedto and that was our world and
that was so much simpler.
Michael Furcciniti (20:04):
But now we're looking at ourselves
through cameras and and kind ofseeing all these influences, and
it's a very different worldyeah, and this is why it's so
dangerous for young girls,because they see, you know I
mean I don't have studies toquite off the top of my head,
but I know it's in terms of thatcomparison that is more common.
You know young women who aresaying these things in the
(20:27):
inadequate and maybe the extremelengths to get the validation
that they look like that othergirl that they see online.
Fiona Kane (20:35):
Yes, the other girls who actually don't look like
that as well, most of the timethey don't even look like, or if
they do, they've had extensivestuff done, but a lot of them
don't look like that.
It's filters and makeup and allthe rest of it.
Michael Furcciniti (20:49):
It is, it is , and that's the other thing
that is not just a problem forthe younger generation, but for
everybody.
Is that people be what's theword?
I suppose the unpoliticalcorrect way is everybody's VS
radar in terms of seeing thingsthat are real or that are
(21:09):
clearly old-sides, clearly AI,clearly touched up, is terrible
generally speaking.
I mean, how many people, theamount of education we do on
scams and phone calls fromNigerian princes and we all fall
for it and there's a big gapbetween where we need to be to
actually.
I mean it's critical thinking.
(21:31):
This is what kids need tounderstand from the one world is
that you do not believeeverything you see, yeah, and
you have to be able to spot whensomething is not real.
Fiona Kane (21:40):
And that's the issue with being exposed to it at a
younger age.
Because if you don't getexposed to these things until
you're older, see, I didn't seeanything, I didn't see anything.
I didn't grow up with theinternet, so all this stuff came
to me when I was older, so I'mable to look and I go, oh yeah,
sure, whatever, I can look atmost of it and reject most of it
or just laugh at it or whatever.
But if you're 70 years old,that's maybe not possible.
(22:03):
And so you're seeing it andyou're believing it, and
apparently even now I I hearthat people go to plastic
surgeons.
They're actually not just in myday.
You take a picture.
If you're going to do that, youtake a picture of your l
mcpherson or someone, right, Iwant to look like her but, now
they actually want to look likekind of anime versions of
themselves.
(22:23):
So they don't want to look human.
They, they kind of it is.
It's this weird ai kind ofvision, this non-human vision of
how they want to look.
Michael Furcciniti (22:34):
So it's pretty messed up in my opinion
yes, yes, and that's the the II'm not too familiar with the
supermodel scene of the of the2000s and the 90s, but from what
I understand, this is the 80s.
Fiona Kane (22:48):
This is the 80s.
Michael Furcciniti (22:49):
Forgive me, it's way before your time.
Yes, the pendulum has swungback the other way, though, in
the sense that it's not superthin I mean, I know Kate Moss is
famous for this kind ofcocaine-thin figure.
Fiona Kane (23:03):
Yes.
Michael Furcciniti (23:04):
I think again, I don don't have stats on
this but generally speaking,women don't necessarily want to
be super thin and wet, at leastnot everywhere and so that's
where you get that exaggerationand wanting to be bigger in
certain places and smaller inothers and you can't physically
do that the kardashian thinglike how can you have a waist
that small and big boobs and abig butt?
Fiona Kane (23:24):
you can't do Like, it's just not possible.
No one has that Correct?
Michael Furcciniti (23:29):
Yeah, well, very few.
And then the ones that want itwill pay, you know, thousands
and thousands for it, but it'sjust not.
But that's what the kids don'tunderstand.
It's not the end of the worldif you don't look at that person
.
Fiona Kane (23:43):
Yes.
Michael Furcciniti (23:43):
I mean, if all you see is people adoring
this person that they don't evenknow.
I mean, none of those peoplehave a relationship with Kim
Kardashian, but they feel soindebted to looking like her and
aspiring to be like her.
Yeah, Big problem.
Fiona Kane (24:00):
I remember when I was younger and I first noticed
that, like women who werewhether they were supermodels or
whether they were actresseswith Academy Awards or whatever
who were kind of the people whowere my, the people I admired
when I was younger, when theyfirst started, you know,
boyfriends cheated on them andthey got divorced and things
like that it was quite shockingto me that, oh, like they don't
have a perfect life.
(24:20):
You know, it's not all and it'snot all perfect.
No one has anything perfect.
It's just you're able to makeit look like that online, but
it's not perfection for anyone.
And when we're looking for that, we're looking in all the wrong
places, aren't we?
Michael Furcciniti (24:35):
Absolutely, and that's the issue is that you
almost don't settle because youknow if you just scroll through
for five seconds, you can seethere's better options.
Yes, there's so much more outthere that if I just wait a
little bit longer, I'll just,you know, there's partners
around me that are potentiallyreally good matches, but I know
there's more girls out there.
(24:57):
I just have to get out thereand you know fast and try to get
in.
Yeah, endless comparison.
Fiona Kane (25:06):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, and that's the thing.
It's like the girls who sort ofgoing off and getting flown over
to over to either the uae orsomewhere for for parties with
you know shakes and princes orwhatever that sort of, on yachts
, whatever.
Girls looking at that sort ofstuff.
That wasn't even a thing when Iwas younger, but now there's
this online world and girls arecomparing, like looking at that,
(25:28):
looking for towards that.
People are looking towards thatas um, as their goals, rather
than, like you said, justlooking around and just seeing
the person around, people aroundyou who are more likely people
who you know for the most part,you know not saying that
obviously you can be here withwhoever you want and lots of
things work out, but, generallyspeaking, the people who you
grew up near and around andwhatever, have similar values to
(25:50):
you and it's a lot simpler wayto go.
Long term for most people is topair up with someone who is
similar values and from asimilar place, but obviously it
doesn't mean you can't do thatdifferently.
But yeah, the idea of meetingyour love match on the other
side of the world online and Idon't know turning out to be the
best thing not necessarily no,it's.
Michael Furcciniti (26:13):
It's completely unrealistic and it um
I mean it does happen.
You can always that's.
That's the thing is.
You know you've got to bebalanced about all of this.
The opportunity to it and thosepeople and to network and to to
find different communities ishuge now and it's not
necessarily all evil.
It's just you have tounderstand that just because you
see things a lot doesn't meanthey know them.
Fiona Kane (26:35):
Yeah yeah, and you just said something there that's
actually really importantfinding communities, right,
because what we are looking foronline, you know.
What we look for as humanbeings is we look to be part of
community, and when we're inschool, it's you know.
What we look for as humanbeings is we look to be part of
community, and when we're inschool, it's you know, our
school friends, whatever, uh, oruniversity friends, or our work
friends, but it's also, uh, youknow, online that's what we're
(26:56):
looking for.
We're looking for people werelate to.
Now.
If it was me, uh, when I wasyounger and still I do that now
I connect with and I thinkyou're, you're, you're a
musician, so I connect withmusic stuff.
Right, I'm not a musician, butI'm just really into music.
So a lot of my connections arepeople who like the same bands,
or they might be the people inthose bands or whatever.
It is similar music, or itmight be other people that I've
(27:18):
got similar interests.
I've got lots of connections inthe natural health industry,
right?
So many of my friends arenaturopaths or nutritionists or
whatever.
But so we are looking forcommunity, we're looking for
people to relate to, and Isuppose it depends on where
we're at how vulnerable we areat the time, what our headspace
is, as to what communities wemight end up getting you know,
(27:42):
ending up in or being attractedby, and they could be a
community that's really, reallysupportive, or they could be a
community that is quite theopposite.
So I suppose that's the thing.
It could be amazing, it couldbe great, it could be a
community that supports you andpushes you to be the best you
can be, and all of those things,because I suppose to me my
(28:04):
comparison is right.
So there's the Jordan Pedersonsof the world who pushes you to
be the best you can be and tellsyou to take responsibility and
make your own bed and thinkabout well, if you want a
partner, well, think about whatsort of person you are as a
partner.
Maybe start there, right.
So there's that kind ofcommunity where you could go and
find out someone who just saysokay, well, you know, you do
something about it and you takeresponsibility and you make
(28:26):
yourself the best version of you.
There's other kind of things.
I suppose it's the AndrewTate's of the world, or or the
incel community, whatever theincel community.
Basically, it's kind of a weirdthing actually that there's a
community where you can sort ofgo into this community and say,
well, women are all horrible andthey're all mean, and let's
(28:46):
just join up together and acceptthat we'll never have a woman
and there's no chance that we'llever have a woman.
So let's just hate on them andlet's just join up together and
be, you know, inverted commaslosers together, or whatever.
Or the Andrew Tate's of theworld who you know.
He diagnoses some of the issuesin the world quite well, but
his solutions aren't great andhe's the way, his way of
(29:09):
speaking to and treating womenand, and you know, there's all
these influences that talk aboutyou know how you can, how you
can trick a woman into datingyou, and all this kind of stuff
which is actually what came upin adolescence as well that the
boy.
The boy thought the girl hadshared um, the girl had shared,
shared nude or like a toplessphoto and had gone around the
(29:31):
school and she'd been shamedbecause of that.
And so this boy approached herat that time to go out on a date
because he thought that she'dbe feeling low and feeling like
a loser and that because she waslow, he might have a chance.
Michael Furcciniti (29:49):
Right.
Fiona Kane (29:50):
And then she rejected him and he actually
killed her.
So sorry spoiler alert, butthat's pretty much right from
the beginning it tells you thatthat's what happened.
Okay, so that's that kind ofincel thing of you know, all
that kind of predatory kind of.
It's the difference between hey, be the best you can be and be
who you are and be kind, andyou'll meet people and the right
(30:13):
person might want to date you.
And here's a way that you mighttrick a girl into dating you.
You know, if you shame her andthen go in for the kill, you
know.
Michael Furcciniti (30:24):
Yeah, and I mean those are two schools of
thought, I mean from frompeterson, to take right but, I
think what's potentially moredangerous is the people that are
just one or two percent off.
So you can you can go down theextreme route or you can find a
(30:47):
community where the overwhelmingmajority of the opinions are
values that you hold, but thereare a couple of things that are
that you just don't agree with,and because you grow in that
community and you learn to trustthose people, you can end up
taking on some pretty extremeopinions as a package of being
(31:08):
part of that community, and it'snot necessarily.
I mean, I don't know too muchabout the, the it's called the
manosphere or the kind of andrewtape circles yeah, the
manosphere yeah yeah, but Ithink you have to also think
about there is value ineverything um, and you know
people agree and disagree withboth of those people, but
(31:31):
ultimately you have to look atwhat's online and you have to
look up your minds.
You have to adapt to thecommunity, but you also have to
make sure that you're not how doI put it?
Fiona Kane (31:46):
inalienable, but not too inalienable, yeah, yeah it
goes back to that criticalthinking you were saying before,
which is why it's importantthat your parents teach that to
you and your teachers teach thatto you, that critical thinking,
because you shouldn't reallylike, no matter what community
you're in, if you agree withevery single thing you might
want to question.
As human beings, we don't allagree with everything.
(32:08):
I'm sure if you and I sat downand got going on a conversation,
we'd agree with a whole bunchof stuff and then we'd find a
topic that we just didn't agreeon.
Yeah, and that's fine, andthat's healthy, and that's
normal, and we're able to kindof do that and go, oh okay, it's
all right, fair enough, wefigure it out a way to agree or
we just move on, right, butthat's actually really healthy.
(32:29):
But I think what's happened andthis is actually and I know that
we're kind of a bit short ontime so I won't go for too much
longer but I suppose this is thealgorithm thing, right?
Um, so maybe you can talk to usa little bit about that,
because essentially, we're goingto get back whatever you know.
It shows us.
Whatever the internet algorithm, the social media algorithm,
wants us to see more of thething that we like.
(32:51):
So we tend to be in that echochamber and so if you're
following the andrew tate, sowhatever you're following,
you'll see more and more of that, and so, because that's all you
tend to see in where the echochamber, then we start to think
that's how everybody thinks andwe start to take on all of the
views.
So tell us a little bit aboutthe algorithm and maybe what can
(33:13):
we do about that.
Is there any strategies that wecan do in regards to the
algorithm?
Michael Furcciniti (33:17):
Yeah, I think, at a basic level, you're
right in that it shows you whatyou want to see.
So by spending a fraction of asecond longer in one video than
the other, it will show you moreof that.
It doesn't lie.
It doesn't suggest things thatyou will completely hate.
(33:38):
It might suggest things thatare kind of outside of your
scope of what you'd like tointeract with.
It's controllable.
You can wipe it.
I think a lot of people don'tknow, and I'll put up some stuff
about this in the next week orso.
Um, all of these things can bewiped and reset on every
platform, okay?
Fiona Kane (33:56):
so you can reset your history on facebook or
instagram or whatever.
Is that what you're saying?
Michael Furcciniti (34:01):
uh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you can reset thesuggested content so that you
start afresh.
You can do it every day if youreally want to.
It's a feature that not a lotof people know, but it's sorry,
flannery, your original question.
(34:22):
Let's try.
Fiona Kane (34:22):
Yeah, yeah, no, that's all right.
It's just, it's about the, itis about the algorithm, and I
think so one.
You said that you couldpotentially wipe it, and what we
will do is we'll make sure thatwe put in some links to you so
that people can go and find youand they can see you talking
about this in more detail.
Michael Furcciniti (34:48):
But the other is, I think, the other day
, I saw something that youshowed on Instagram that you
could click on.
Click on it and say show meless of this or show me more or
something.
So how does that work?
Yeah, so you can um, you canchoose interested or not
interested on certain pieces ofcontent, and slowly too much
slow, isn't that?
You can train it on what youwant and don't want to see.
Problem is, firstly, not a lotof people know about that.
Secondly, it requires a lot ofwillpower to be disciplined
(35:09):
enough to actually say I reallydon't want to see this stuff.
You can blacklist words as well.
Fiona Kane (35:16):
So you can blacklist certain words and say I don't
want to see any content that hasthis word in it.
Michael Furcciniti (35:21):
Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
I don don't want to see anycontent that has this word in it
.
Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
I don't know if that extendsinto um speech or if it's just
what's in captions and hashtags,okay, but you can definitely
certain topics.
If you hate a particular brandor whatever, you can just look.
Um, you know it's four up andyou'll have.
(35:45):
I suppose the conversation with, or kids need to be told this
is completely, completely withinyour control.
It's not.
You are not at the mercy ofsocial media, provided you're
diligent about it, yeah, and youcan understand when things are
getting out of hand.
Fiona Kane (36:02):
Yeah.
So essentially, you have toknow that, first of all, what
you're seeing is not the wholeworld, it's just a little
fraction of what they thinkyou're interested in, and,
secondly, you have some controlover what that looks like about
what you see.
The other thing that Iencourage clients to do I just
encourage them to watch more ofthe things they want to see.
(36:24):
So I had a client who wasseeing a lot of stuff she didn't
want to see on Instagram, so Igot her to start watching.
I always joke because latelyI've been watching Capybara
videos and because I've beentalking about them and watching
them.
Oh my God, I get so much.
Every time I open up my phoneit's Capybaras.
Yeah, there you go.
Michael Furcciniti (36:39):
Yeah, there you go.
Fiona Kane (36:40):
I think I've become an expert on capybaras.
I know everything, but you know.
But that's cute.
They're just cute, right.
So I just see this cute littleanimal.
And the thing is, if youactively go on, I had this
client who was.
I got her to, I think, a coupleof times a week.
I was getting her to send mecute videos and the reason I was
(37:03):
getting her algorithm bylooking at them.
So I said I want you to activelylook for videos that make you
smile, that make you happy, thatfeel good, and I want you to
send them to me.
So I know that you're doing itand what I've noticed is most of
my content now is Cappy Burrowsor it's cute videos and stuff.
So you know you can change itjust by what you look at.
Michael Furcciniti (37:23):
Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.
We have a lot more control overit when we think, yes, it's
just, yeah, it's just having thediscipline to control it, yeah.
Fiona Kane (37:34):
Knowing you can control it, learning how to do
that, knowing that you're notseeing everything.
It's not a balanced view onanything, and also just I think
what it comes back down to isyou know, these are discussions
that parents have to have withtheir kids, and schools probably
should have better discussionsabout some of these things.
And you've really got to decidewhen you're going to introduce
(37:57):
your kids to these things.
But even if you're not givingthem a phone or giving them the
internet, they are going to beseeing things at school or at
other friends' devices.
So you still need to start someof these discussions, even if
you're really careful about whatyou're doing with your own
child.
That's right, isn't it?
Michael Furcciniti (38:13):
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
It's not something you cancompletely govern at all and
it's not a matter of protectingthem.
It's not a matter of um.
It's not a matter of protectingthem to say, it's not a matter
of equipping them with the rightknowledge you just cut out a
little bit at the end.
Fiona Kane (38:30):
So you said it's a matter of not so much protecting
them but protecting them withknowledge.
Is that what you just said?
Michael Furcciniti (38:35):
yeah, just equipping them with the right
knowledge, making sure that theyknow equipping them with the
right knowledge so that theyknow yeah, yeah, yeah it's like.
Fiona Kane (38:42):
This is the world I live in.
So, rather than just try andcompletely protect them from it,
how about equip them so thatthey can learn how to live in it
?
That makes a lot of sense,doesn't it?
Michael Furcciniti (38:52):
That's it.
It's that first impression,right?
Yeah, if you can explainsomething to them before they
see it online, I mean yes.
Fiona Kane (38:58):
Yeah.
Michael Furcciniti (39:05):
You have a much better chance of giving
them the right idea or helpingthem see things with a more
balanced view than when they'restill delivered by someone who
doesn't care for their own doing.
Fiona Kane (39:09):
Yeah, exactly, yeah, okay, so that's probably a good
place to leave it.
But is there anything else thatyou would like to add, or do
you feel like that's a goodplace to leave it?
Michael Furcciniti (39:23):
I think it's .
At the end of the day, it comesdown to what happens at home.
There's education has a role interms of what you get taught at
school, how you manage all ofthese things, but it comes down
to good parenting.
You have to be able to have theconversations and have the
(39:44):
courage to tell them what yourvalues are.
Yeah, and this is what webelieve as a family.
They can make up their own mindlater, yeah.
Fiona Kane (39:53):
Yeah, talk to your kids.
Hear them Talk to your kids,teach them your values.
And gone are the days and thisisn't a thing that came up in
adolescence but gone are thedays where you could be sitting
there and the kid's in thebedroom on the computer and you
don't know what they're doingand you don't understand it and
you don't understand.
Oh, instagram, oh, it's thisthing.
I've never heard of it, likewhatever.
You can't not know.
(40:13):
Unfortunately, it's just not anoption.
Michael Furcciniti (40:14):
Yes, yeah, yes, absolutely.
Fiona Kane (40:24):
So I will put your links in their bio but in the
show notes.
Michael Furcciniti (40:26):
But look just where can people find you
just if they want to find outmore about this from you.
Yeah, I think for this kind ofcontent my LinkedIn is probably
the best place.
So LinkedIn, michael.
Fiona Kane (40:35):
Personality on LinkedIn with the proper
spelling in the English speakingsomewhere there yeah, you'll
have to check the show notes forthe spelling and also I'll put
a link for the LinkedIn there aswell.
But you know, I think you'vebeen sharing some interesting
content.
So, yeah, definitely, if you'rea parent or just you're
interested in this topic, it'llbe worth following Michael on
LinkedIn.
So we will put you know.
Check the spelling on the shownotes or just go to the link in
(40:57):
the show notes.
Michael Furcciniti (41:05):
So, look.
Fiona Kane (41:05):
Thank you so much, Michael.
I really appreciate you comingon today to talk to me about
this.
Yes, thanks for having me.
This is a podcast where I liketo have real conversations about
things that matter, and I thinkthat it was a really good
conversation about somethingthat really matters a lot right
now.
So I appreciate you and thankyou for everyone who's watching
and listening.
Please like, subscribe andshare.
I see that when I read thedetails in the back end, it
(41:26):
tells me that 80% of the peoplewho are watching my content or
listening to my content are notsubscribed.
So please subscribe, because itmakes a big difference to how
many people get to see and hearthis content.
So I appreciate all of yoursupport and I'll see you again
next week.
Thanks, bye.
Hello and welcome to the Wellness Connection Podcast
.
I'm your host, Fiona Kane.
Today I have a guest and we'regoing to be talking about the
Wild West of social media.
His name is now.
Just be kind to me about thisone.
I'm going to try and pronounceit right, but it's Michael
Furccinti, is that right,Michael?
Michael Furcciniti (00:20):
That's fantastic.
That's fantastic.
Fiona Kane (00:23):
Got one of those names that can be pronounced a
few different ways, or is itjust like there's the Australian
way of saying it and there's away that you actually say it?
Michael Furcciniti (00:32):
That's it.
I mean you lose people if youspend 10 minutes trying to
explain how to pronounce it.
So whatever way, yeah.
Fiona Kane (00:40):
So, michael, the reason that I've invited you on
today besides the fact thatwe've met a few times and we've
had a coffee and I feel likewe're quite, you know, maybe not
best friends, but acquaintances, friends, whatever you said
something on LinkedIn the otherday.
You were sort of showing somevideos and some Instagram videos
and things and just talkingabout like this is what your
(01:02):
kids are really seeing and thisis.
You can't really stop it, butthis is what you might be able
to do.
You know strategies, whatever.
So I suppose it's kind of likethat.
I think what you were saying tome before we got started is,
you know, we were talking about,like you know, the beginning,
when we just said the wild westof social media is a bit of a
wild west and so I don't thinkwe can make it go away.
(01:24):
So I suppose the question isyou know, what can we do about
it?
But before I even start there,I'm very rude.
How about you just tell us alittle bit about who you are?
We'll start there and thenwe'll get launched into the
conversation.
Michael Furcciniti (01:37):
Sure, well, thanks for having me.
My name is Michael.
I do social media marketing fora living.
Is Michael, I do social mediamarketing for a living?
I suppose my interest in thisparticular topic is, or has been
, piqued by the kind of workthat I do, but also just how
long I've been using socialmedia myself.
I have kind of tertiaryqualifications in marketing and
(02:01):
so on, but I think there'snothing like being raised by the
internet and I think a lot ofkids of my generation have seen
a lot of things and I'm justinterested to talk more about it
and use that background that Ihave in my settlement and social
media just to colour theperspectives of, maybe, the
(02:23):
parents.
Fiona Kane (02:26):
So are you millennial or are you Gen Z?
Michael Furcciniti (02:29):
This is a great question.
I don't know the difference.
What are the guidelines?
Fiona Kane (02:33):
I don't know where it changes over.
I think it changed oversomewhere around 2000 or
something, but I'm not sure I'dhave to look it up.
So you might be on a cuspsomewhere, I don't know.
I don't know your age.
You might be on a cuspsomewhere, I don't know.
I don't know your age.
Michael Furcciniti (02:46):
You might be on a cusp somewhere, maybe just
I'm 99, 1999, so I might be.
That's the year I got married.
Fiona Kane (02:51):
Oh wow, you got married that year.
Uh, and I was 27, making mefeel really old.
I think that might be on thecusp, maybe I don't know, so you
might be like a, a latemillennial, still a millennial,
I don't know.
Anyway, it doesn't matter, butyou're somewhere on the cusp.
There.
I'm a Gen Xer, so you'recertainly in that generation
after me.
(03:11):
So that's the thing, and a lotof people who listen to this
podcast and watch this podcastare Gen Xers or over, and so I
suppose, where would you like tostart?
What do we need to know?
What do we need to know?
What do we need to know aboutsocial media and about the
internet?
What are the things?
Michael Furcciniti (03:30):
that parents just don't understand when to
start.
I think the way that the socialmedians themselves are designed
is that they want to keep youhooked, you hooked.
(03:50):
So the idea is that every dayyou know, every, every year that
we exist on these platforms,we're trying to push the
envelope.
And the things that are gettingposted, um, you might, as a
parent for a child that has aphone, might have no tools, the
kind of things that they'resaying, and they're not
necessarily things that areillegal or immoral, but just the
most bizarre, mind-numbingthings that the overwhelming
(04:12):
majority of children have notbeen prepped to be able to
understand.
So there's a gap between,there's an educational gap, I
would say, and that's the thingthat's missing from schools,
from the educational system.
Fiona Kane (04:28):
And so when you like .
Obviously, we've all heard ofyou know porn on social media
and you know violence and thingslike that.
That's a concern that peoplehave and I don't know if parents
fully understand how much thekids are saying that as well.
But are you talking aboutsomething different to that then
?
What are you talking about?
Michael Furcciniti (04:47):
The porn's a big one.
It's not.
It looks a little different onsocial media because you can't
have full-on nudity.
But it's not just things likethat.
It's things like the onlinegambling culture that you know.
Kids in early secondary aregetting hooked on because
they're hooked on sports andthey love watching and they love
bedding at lunchtime.
(05:07):
It's like you said, theviolence as well.
It's very outlandish opinionsthat they might not have heard
in their family or at school andthey can be so strange that
they're enticing.
(05:28):
And if you don't understandthat, other people have, you
know, different backgrounds anddifferent upwindings.
It's um easy to get caught up,caught up in online communities
where they're echo chambers,right, everybody agrees with the
same thing.
Yes, in a subset of theinternet.
(05:49):
Yeah, that's why I say it's notnecessarily illegal content.
It's just things that are a seaof ideas that it's hard to make
sense of.
Fiona Kane (05:59):
Yeah, and look, I didn't even think of online
gambling because it's just notmy thing, so I just didn't even
think about it.
And that's the thing, too, thatI don't understand, because I
know you were just talking aboutsport there.
But the other thing, actually,that parents have concern around
and I hear that, oh, Ishouldn't be so concerned, blah,
blah, blah.
I don't know the answer to this, but gaming online so the games
(06:19):
themselves may or may not be aproblem, but maybe their access
to messaging within the games isa problem.
To give me a bit of a, I hadthe last game on my well, the
last game I played on a computerwas Leisure Suit Larry.
Michael Furcciniti (06:33):
Oh, wow.
Fiona Kane (06:34):
And he used to play that with, like I think it was
the, I think it was, I can'tremember if it was.
I think it was the little disks, the three-and-a-half-inch
disks, and you know it wouldstop and you'd have to put the
next disc in, and it certainlywasn't on the internet, it was
just on your own computer oh,wow that was the last time I
played a computer game, so Ihave got no idea.
So just treat it like you'retalking to an idiot, because
(06:56):
honestly I have no idea.
So just tell me a little bitabout.
Is there concerns about games,or is it more about messaging in
the games games?
What's going on there?
Michael Furcciniti (07:04):
Gaming, I will say, is not something I
have a lot of exposure to.
In my own social mediaalgorithms, I think the biggest
thing that I can see is not somuch the gaming but it's the
streaming culture.
So it's very popular.
It's a very popular pursuit fora lot of people influencers to
(07:25):
stream themselves playing a game, and there have been several
internet celebrities that havecome out of that, not
necessarily because of anythingin particular, but just because
they're funny to watch as theyplay um again, one of the things
that parents can't quite wraptheir heads around why are you
watching someone else play agame that you can play yourself?
(07:48):
But I suppose there's scopethere for some strange ideas and
some strange content, but Ithink, by and large, at a
surface level, there's somecrazy violence in the game.
Not that that's anything new,and since probably the I can't
(08:11):
recall, I don't know, maybe I'llbe in the streets as well, but
it's always been around.
Fiona Kane (08:15):
It's always been around, yeah, so violence is one
of the issues in there.
I do think that there is amessaging aspect as well, though
isn't there that the peopleyou're gaming with can message
you, and that can be an issuefor who's getting in contact
with you and who you're talkingto.
Michael Furcciniti (08:31):
That's true.
That's true, that's true.
There's definitely uh potentialfor, uh, I suppose, stalking
and harassment, um, but not eventhat, even just some of the
things that get said online.
I mean, there's a was a wholesubculture of memes about if the
group chats got leaked fromthis particular game when the
boys you know were playing whenwe were teenagers, we'd all be
(08:51):
in prison.
Yeah, and it's um, it's thelanguage, it's the, it's the
culture, um, but maybe not thegame itself, but, like you say,
the messaging component yeah,yeah, and I think there was
always like I was.
Fiona Kane (09:03):
I was hearing some uh, I can't remember.
It might have been on umsomeone's podcast the other day
might have been chris williamsand someone's podcast, and
there's a couple guys talkingabout this and they were talking
about look hey, if you guys inthe locker room or guys in the
pub or whatever there's alwaysbeen like historically, I think
if you recorded guys in thosesituations, whatever they said,
it could be used against them inthe future, because there's
(09:25):
just like that bro talk,whatever you know, which is is
one thing, but I suppose this isthat on steroids, because it's
a lot of it's anonymous, sopeople say all sorts of things
and there's some some braveryabout being behind the keyboard
or you know, as opposed to beingin person, that you might not
say something in person.
Or even if you did, it's asmall group of friends that
(09:48):
you're with as opposed to online.
It's a lot more people willhear and hear what you're saying
.
Is that fair to say?
Michael Furcciniti (09:55):
yeah, that's , that's the biggest irony,
right is that when people areanonymous, they are who they
really are, so they can sayexactly what's on their mind and
they don't have to have anyrestraint at all yes, yeah, yeah
.
Fiona Kane (10:08):
So the anonymity is what kind of brings out the I
don't know.
Yeah, like you said, you seewho they really are, or or or
just them sort of trying to playsome character or be.
You know, I think a lot ofpeople it's like I'm bigger and
braver and they're online andthey, you know, it's that macho
thing that they do as well.
Is that part?
Michael Furcciniti (10:27):
of it.
Yeah for sure, yeah for sure.
You know, I know, maybe it'sthat.
Yeah, it's frame in a way.
Fiona Kane (10:35):
So I suppose from that point of view look, I'm not
a parent, I can't, you know, Italk about just what I learn
about.
But I would just say to parentsthat some of the stuff that
you've been talking about reallya big thing.
What it comes back to for me isthat really, when I was growing
up, we used to sit down andhave dinner at the table
(10:55):
together.
We didn't have phones then, sowe weren't playing with our
phones.
The phone was a thing on thewall and we used to talk about
our day and we used to talkabout things.
So if there was an election, wewould talk about that.
Or if something happened atschool, or I think one day there
was a fire at my school,whatever, we talked about that.
(11:16):
But if you talk to your kidsevery day and you talk to them
about just the world and thingsin the world, whatever you feel,
age appropriate, but if you getthem into having conversations
about, well, these are ourfamily values and these are why.
But other people have differentvalues and this might be why
(11:37):
and you're going to be exposedto this in the world, because I
think it's like we kind ofunderstand that to a certain
degree, but I think that wedon't expect children, our kids,
to be exposed to those sorts ofthings, maybe until they leave
home or until they get to likethey're in high school or they
go to work or whatever.
But with online, they're goingto be exposed to it as soon as
they're in high school or theygo to work or whatever, but with
online, they're going to beexposed to it as soon as they're
online.
So if those kids are onlinewhen they're 10, then that's the
(12:00):
point at which they're going tostart to be exposed to those
ideas that maybe they just arenot ready to deal with.
Michael Furcciniti (12:09):
Absolutely, and you can do all you can in
your power as a parent toeducate your children to to be
around them, but then you canhave, as soon as they get on the
bus and they're fast enough,showing someone, or they go to
school and they're meant to talkabout whatever happened online,
it's um, it's pretty clear thatyou can't shelter.
(12:30):
You can only shelter them inthe very few minutes you have
with them, basically every daywhere they've got your attention
, yes, and then it's open season.
So you really have to make surethat, yeah, you communicate and
you educate on the wide web.
The danger is, if you don'ttalk to them about things before
(12:52):
they see them, you are thesecond impression and it's I
mean, exposure to certain thingsonline is getting younger and
younger.
For children and they're nofault of their own it's just the
content that gets attention,gets attention.
Also, it gets pushed toeverybody and if you don't beat
(13:15):
it, you're, you're, you'recoming second place, right?
Fiona Kane (13:19):
yeah, what you said there is actually really
important is that if you, if youdon't get in first, yours is
the second impression, so thefirst they get is whoever random
person out there is and itcould be good or it might not be
but if you get in first andyou're sort of saying these are
our values and this is why webelieve in this and this is, you
(13:39):
know, and this is what being agood human being looks like, and
this is what being a goodperson looks like, and this is
what being you know, and even tothe point of, I think, some of
the stuff I mentioned to youbefore we started, that I anyone
who watches this, listens tothis will know I've been talking
a lot about adolescence and Iknow you haven't seen that yet,
(13:59):
but in that there was this wholekind of it was about the dating
scene, a little bit about that,and you know this boy had been
rejected and so he was.
He's what they would class asan incel these days, although
really aren't all 13-year-oldsincels, because an incel is
involuntary, celebrant, right,and we want to hope that
(14:20):
actually, all well, notinvoluntary, because we kind of
just want to hope that they justare celebrant, let's put it
that way.
But certainly, you know, themajority of 13-year-olds are not
up for that, not ready for that, shouldn't be doing those
things, and so they would beanyway.
But just these days, becausethe insult incels the word that
they use sort of as, as somewhatof an insult.
(14:41):
But they were talking again asa podcast I listened to the
other day.
I'm trying to think if it wasChris Williams I can't remember
who it was, but they were sayingthat like don't we need.
What we do need to do is teachchildren about.
You know, maybe at school, whenthey, you know, they do the sex
(15:01):
ed or whatever, but maybe theyshould do about dating, maybe
they should do about onlinedating.
Maybe they should talk about,uh, what to you know what sort
of person you want to be.
You know, like it's not assimple as who do I want, but
it's who do I have to be to getthat person.
And so, uh, what?
What does being a good partnerlook like?
What is good being a goodboyfriend or good girlfriend or
whatever?
What does that look like?
What are the expectations andwhat are the expectations on you
(15:23):
and you know, and what's what'sconsidered normal?
Uh, because even just thingslike, um, uh, I've seen young
pop stars, uh, female pop stars,say that they think that
getting strangled is normalbecause they've grown up seeing
that sort of stuff online.
Now, no one in my generationthought that was normal.
I mean, my generation stillthought that, you know, having
(15:45):
hair in private places was quiteacceptable, right?
let alone this crazy, crazy townstuff these kids are being
exposed to.
But maybe we need to be like asawful as it might have to be
having these conversations, butwe actually do need to teach
children about what are normalexpectations and and what, and
what are the healthy boundariesand what does a healthy
(16:07):
relationship look like?
And and can you choose?
What can you choose or not, youknow?
Can you say no, blah, blah,blah.
But I suspect that with some ofthese young people, boys and
girls, if they're being exposedto that stuff which is way
beyond their understanding,they're actually going to be,
you know, frightened and freakedout about partnering up as well
(16:28):
.
Is that sort of?
Do you think that's part ofwhat's going on Potentially?
Michael Furcciniti (16:34):
Pot on Potentially, potentially.
I think online dating is awhole other can of worms.
School and education definitelyhas a part to play in that, in
terms of getting people tosocialise and well, but I think
(16:54):
it comes down to the examplethat parents set in their
marriage.
Everything starts at the home,right.
Fiona Kane (17:00):
Yeah, it starts at the home.
Michael Furcciniti (17:01):
And if what they're seeing their parents do
as a couple, if their parentsare together and, you know, in a
happy marriage, if what they'reseeing does not match with what
they're being fed online, thenthey'll have to choose.
One of those things is helpfuland one of those things is not.
Yes, and I think it's probablynot enough just to live by
(17:24):
examples.
Um, you have to, you know,communicate at the level that
the child is at, you know,obviously not too much detail,
too young, but, um, this is whata healthy relationship looks
like.
We're not perfect and youshouldn't go out there expecting
to find someone as good as whatyou might see on social media,
(17:45):
or if you have, you know,comparison to these superstar
athletes or whatever you know,supermodels, it's just it's not
really listed.
And, um, or I suppose it is, ifyou're basically willing to
sell your soul to a lifetime ofinjections and supplements, and
both of us, yeah, yeah, I thinkthat's the difference too.
Fiona Kane (18:08):
Like when I was growing up, you know, you were
probably going to cook up withsomeone who lived in your town,
maybe went to your school ormaybe someone you met at work I
met my husband at work butgenerally we met people who were
kind of local and ourcompetition was our kind of
local group of people, reallyOkay, and we weren't competing
(18:28):
with Instagram models or this orthat.
And you know, they did have.
You know, I grew up in the timeof the supermodel, so the
Claudia Schiffers and theElmwick Fersons and the Christy
Turlington's and all that but itwas very clear that like I
wasn't competing with them, likethey were going to be dating
the other supermodels or therock stars or whoever they were
going to be dating, and I wasgoing to be dating a regular guy
(18:49):
.
And so, even though that theywas there and we saw them on the
cover of magazines and youmight have bought a lipstick
because you wanted to look likethem or whatever, you knew you
couldn't be them and you knewyou were still, you know, your,
your dating pool was the peoplearound you.
But now that people arecomparing themselves to all
those sort of this instagramstuff and I think kids are
(19:11):
growing up now so.
So we didn't have cameras.
Like, we had a camera butfamily might have a camera and
it costs you a fortune to getthe film developed.
So you get a film developedonce every six months, you know
so, and they're all bad photosof all the heads cut off and
stuff, whereas today kids aregrowing up with cameras in their
pocket and so they're lookingat themselves a lot more and
(19:33):
they've got all these filtersand all that.
So we didn't really grow uplooking at ourselves.
You'd look at yourself in themirror before you left the house
, but that was it.
So we also didn't have toobsess about well, do I look
like that Instagram model or doI look like that influencer on
TikTok or whatever.
We just weren't affected asmuch by all the TikTok
influencing and stuff.
We were affected by the kids inthe playground and maybe a
(19:55):
little bit what we read in dollymagazine, but that was pretty
much it.
That was what we were exposedto and that was our world and
that was so much simpler.
Michael Furcciniti (20:04):
But now we're looking at ourselves
through cameras and and kind ofseeing all these influences, and
it's a very different worldyeah, and this is why it's so
dangerous for young girls,because they see, you know I
mean I don't have studies toquite off the top of my head,
but I know it's in terms of thatcomparison that is more common.
You know young women who aresaying these things in the
(20:27):
inadequate and maybe the extremelengths to get the validation
that they look like that othergirl that they see online.
Fiona Kane (20:35):
Yes, the other girls who actually don't look like
that as well, most of the timethey don't even look like, or if
they do, they've had extensivestuff done, but a lot of them
don't look like that.
It's filters and makeup and allthe rest of it.
Michael Furcciniti (20:49):
It is, it is , and that's the other thing
that is not just a problem forthe younger generation, but for
everybody.
Is that people be what's theword?
I suppose the unpoliticalcorrect way is everybody's VS
radar in terms of seeing thingsthat are real or that are
(21:09):
clearly old-sides, clearly AI,clearly touched up, is terrible
generally speaking.
I mean, how many people, theamount of education we do on
scams and phone calls fromNigerian princes and we all fall
for it and there's a big gapbetween where we need to be to
actually.
I mean it's critical thinking.
(21:31):
This is what kids need tounderstand from the one world is
that you do not believeeverything you see, yeah, and
you have to be able to spot whensomething is not real.
Fiona Kane (21:40):
And that's the issue with being exposed to it at a
younger age.
Because if you don't getexposed to these things until
you're older, see, I didn't seeanything, I didn't see anything.
I didn't grow up with theinternet, so all this stuff came
to me when I was older, so I'mable to look and I go, oh yeah,
sure, whatever, I can look atmost of it and reject most of it
or just laugh at it or whatever.
But if you're 70 years old,that's maybe not possible.
(22:03):
And so you're seeing it andyou're believing it, and
apparently even now I I hearthat people go to plastic
surgeons.
They're actually not just in myday.
You take a picture.
If you're going to do that, youtake a picture of your l
mcpherson or someone, right, Iwant to look like her but, now
they actually want to look likekind of anime versions of
themselves.
(22:23):
So they don't want to look human.
They, they kind of it is.
It's this weird ai kind ofvision, this non-human vision of
how they want to look.
Michael Furcciniti (22:34):
So it's pretty messed up in my opinion
yes, yes, and that's the the II'm not too familiar with the
supermodel scene of the of the2000s and the 90s, but from what
I understand, this is the 80s.
Fiona Kane (22:48):
This is the 80s.
Michael Furcciniti (22:49):
Forgive me, it's way before your time.
Yes, the pendulum has swungback the other way, though, in
the sense that it's not superthin I mean, I know Kate Moss is
famous for this kind ofcocaine-thin figure.
Fiona Kane (23:03):
Yes.
Michael Furcciniti (23:04):
I think again, I don don't have stats on
this but generally speaking,women don't necessarily want to
be super thin and wet, at leastnot everywhere and so that's
where you get that exaggerationand wanting to be bigger in
certain places and smaller inothers and you can't physically
do that the kardashian thinglike how can you have a waist
that small and big boobs and abig butt?
Fiona Kane (23:24):
you can't do Like, it's just not possible.
No one has that Correct?
Michael Furcciniti (23:29):
Yeah, well, very few.
And then the ones that want itwill pay, you know, thousands
and thousands for it, but it'sjust not.
But that's what the kids don'tunderstand.
It's not the end of the worldif you don't look at that person
.
Fiona Kane (23:43):
Yes.
Michael Furcciniti (23:43):
I mean, if all you see is people adoring
this person that they don't evenknow.
I mean, none of those peoplehave a relationship with Kim
Kardashian, but they feel soindebted to looking like her and
aspiring to be like her.
Yeah, Big problem.
Fiona Kane (24:00):
I remember when I was younger and I first noticed
that, like women who werewhether they were supermodels or
whether they were actresseswith Academy Awards or whatever
who were kind of the people whowere my, the people I admired
when I was younger, when theyfirst started, you know,
boyfriends cheated on them andthey got divorced and things
like that it was quite shockingto me that, oh, like they don't
have a perfect life.
(24:20):
You know, it's not all and it'snot all perfect.
No one has anything perfect.
It's just you're able to makeit look like that online, but
it's not perfection for anyone.
And when we're looking for that, we're looking in all the wrong
places, aren't we?
Michael Furcciniti (24:35):
Absolutely, and that's the issue is that you
almost don't settle because youknow if you just scroll through
for five seconds, you can seethere's better options.
Yes, there's so much more outthere that if I just wait a
little bit longer, I'll just,you know, there's partners
around me that are potentiallyreally good matches, but I know
there's more girls out there.
(24:57):
I just have to get out thereand you know fast and try to get
in.
Yeah, endless comparison.
Fiona Kane (25:06):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, and that's the thing.
It's like the girls who sort ofgoing off and getting flown over
to over to either the uae orsomewhere for for parties with
you know shakes and princes orwhatever that sort of, on yachts
, whatever.
Girls looking at that sort ofstuff.
That wasn't even a thing when Iwas younger, but now there's
this online world and girls arecomparing, like looking at that,
(25:28):
looking for towards that.
People are looking towards thatas um, as their goals, rather
than, like you said, justlooking around and just seeing
the person around, people aroundyou who are more likely people
who you know for the most part,you know not saying that
obviously you can be here withwhoever you want and lots of
things work out, but, generallyspeaking, the people who you
grew up near and around andwhatever, have similar values to
(25:50):
you and it's a lot simpler wayto go.
Long term for most people is topair up with someone who is
similar values and from asimilar place, but obviously it
doesn't mean you can't do thatdifferently.
But yeah, the idea of meetingyour love match on the other
side of the world online and Idon't know turning out to be the
best thing not necessarily no,it's.
Michael Furcciniti (26:13):
It's completely unrealistic and it um
I mean it does happen.
You can always that's.
That's the thing is.
You know you've got to bebalanced about all of this.
The opportunity to it and thosepeople and to network and to to
find different communities ishuge now and it's not
necessarily all evil.
It's just you have tounderstand that just because you
see things a lot doesn't meanthey know them.
Fiona Kane (26:35):
Yeah yeah, and you just said something there that's
actually really importantfinding communities, right,
because what we are looking foronline, you know.
What we look for as humanbeings is we look to be part of
community, and when we're inschool, it's you know.
What we look for as humanbeings is we look to be part of
community, and when we're inschool, it's you know, our
school friends, whatever, uh, oruniversity friends, or our work
friends, but it's also, uh, youknow, online that's what we're
(26:56):
looking for.
We're looking for people werelate to.
Now.
If it was me, uh, when I wasyounger and still I do that now
I connect with and I thinkyou're, you're, you're a
musician, so I connect withmusic stuff.
Right, I'm not a musician, butI'm just really into music.
So a lot of my connections arepeople who like the same bands,
or they might be the people inthose bands or whatever.
It is similar music, or itmight be other people that I've
(27:18):
got similar interests.
I've got lots of connections inthe natural health industry,
right?
So many of my friends arenaturopaths or nutritionists or
whatever.
But so we are looking forcommunity, we're looking for
people to relate to, and Isuppose it depends on where
we're at how vulnerable we areat the time, what our headspace
is, as to what communities wemight end up getting you know,
(27:42):
ending up in or being attractedby, and they could be a
community that's really, reallysupportive, or they could be a
community that is quite theopposite.
So I suppose that's the thing.
It could be amazing, it couldbe great, it could be a
community that supports you andpushes you to be the best you
can be, and all of those things,because I suppose to me my
(28:04):
comparison is right.
So there's the Jordan Pedersonsof the world who pushes you to
be the best you can be and tellsyou to take responsibility and
make your own bed and thinkabout well, if you want a
partner, well, think about whatsort of person you are as a
partner.
Maybe start there, right.
So there's that kind ofcommunity where you could go and
find out someone who just saysokay, well, you know, you do
something about it and you takeresponsibility and you make
(28:26):
yourself the best version of you.
There's other kind of things.
I suppose it's the AndrewTate's of the world, or or the
incel community, whatever theincel community.
Basically, it's kind of a weirdthing actually that there's a
community where you can sort ofgo into this community and say,
well, women are all horrible andthey're all mean, and let's
(28:46):
just join up together and acceptthat we'll never have a woman
and there's no chance that we'llever have a woman.
So let's just hate on them andlet's just join up together and
be, you know, inverted commaslosers together, or whatever.
Or the Andrew Tate's of theworld who you know.
He diagnoses some of the issuesin the world quite well, but
his solutions aren't great andhe's the way, his way of
(29:09):
speaking to and treating womenand, and you know, there's all
these influences that talk aboutyou know how you can, how you
can trick a woman into datingyou, and all this kind of stuff
which is actually what came upin adolescence as well that the
boy.
The boy thought the girl hadshared um, the girl had shared,
shared nude or like a toplessphoto and had gone around the
(29:31):
school and she'd been shamedbecause of that.
And so this boy approached herat that time to go out on a date
because he thought that she'dbe feeling low and feeling like
a loser and that because she waslow, he might have a chance.
Michael Furcciniti (29:49):
Right.
Fiona Kane (29:50):
And then she rejected him and he actually
killed her.
So sorry spoiler alert, butthat's pretty much right from
the beginning it tells you thatthat's what happened.
Okay, so that's that kind ofincel thing of you know, all
that kind of predatory kind of.
It's the difference between hey, be the best you can be and be
who you are and be kind, andyou'll meet people and the right
(30:13):
person might want to date you.
And here's a way that you mighttrick a girl into dating you.
You know, if you shame her andthen go in for the kill, you
know.
Michael Furcciniti (30:24):
Yeah, and I mean those are two schools of
thought, I mean from frompeterson, to take right but, I
think what's potentially moredangerous is the people that are
just one or two percent off.
So you can you can go down theextreme route or you can find a
(30:47):
community where the overwhelmingmajority of the opinions are
values that you hold, but thereare a couple of things that are
that you just don't agree with,and because you grow in that
community and you learn to trustthose people, you can end up
taking on some pretty extremeopinions as a package of being
(31:08):
part of that community, and it'snot necessarily.
I mean, I don't know too muchabout the, the it's called the
manosphere or the kind of andrewtape circles yeah, the
manosphere yeah yeah, but Ithink you have to also think
about there is value ineverything um, and you know
people agree and disagree withboth of those people, but
(31:31):
ultimately you have to look atwhat's online and you have to
look up your minds.
You have to adapt to thecommunity, but you also have to
make sure that you're not how doI put it?
Fiona Kane (31:46):
inalienable, but not too inalienable, yeah, yeah it
goes back to that criticalthinking you were saying before,
which is why it's importantthat your parents teach that to
you and your teachers teach thatto you, that critical thinking,
because you shouldn't reallylike, no matter what community
you're in, if you agree withevery single thing you might
want to question.
As human beings, we don't allagree with everything.
(32:08):
I'm sure if you and I sat downand got going on a conversation,
we'd agree with a whole bunchof stuff and then we'd find a
topic that we just didn't agreeon.
Yeah, and that's fine, andthat's healthy, and that's
normal, and we're able to kindof do that and go, oh okay, it's
all right, fair enough, wefigure it out a way to agree or
we just move on, right, butthat's actually really healthy.
(32:29):
But I think what's happened andthis is actually and I know that
we're kind of a bit short ontime so I won't go for too much
longer but I suppose this is thealgorithm thing, right?
Um, so maybe you can talk to usa little bit about that,
because essentially, we're goingto get back whatever you know.
It shows us.
Whatever the internet algorithm, the social media algorithm,
wants us to see more of thething that we like.
(32:51):
So we tend to be in that echochamber and so if you're
following the andrew tate, sowhatever you're following,
you'll see more and more of that, and so, because that's all you
tend to see in where the echochamber, then we start to think
that's how everybody thinks andwe start to take on all of the
views.
So tell us a little bit aboutthe algorithm and maybe what can
(33:13):
we do about that.
Is there any strategies that wecan do in regards to the
algorithm?
Michael Furcciniti (33:17):
Yeah, I think, at a basic level, you're
right in that it shows you whatyou want to see.
So by spending a fraction of asecond longer in one video than
the other, it will show you moreof that.
It doesn't lie.
It doesn't suggest things thatyou will completely hate.
(33:38):
It might suggest things thatare kind of outside of your
scope of what you'd like tointeract with.
It's controllable.
You can wipe it.
I think a lot of people don'tknow, and I'll put up some stuff
about this in the next week orso.
Um, all of these things can bewiped and reset on every
platform, okay?
Fiona Kane (33:56):
so you can reset your history on facebook or
instagram or whatever.
Is that what you're saying?
Michael Furcciniti (34:01):
uh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you can reset thesuggested content so that you
start afresh.
You can do it every day if youreally want to.
It's a feature that not a lotof people know, but it's sorry,
flannery, your original question.
(34:22):
Let's try.
Fiona Kane (34:22):
Yeah, yeah, no, that's all right.
It's just, it's about the, itis about the algorithm, and I
think so one.
You said that you couldpotentially wipe it, and what we
will do is we'll make sure thatwe put in some links to you so
that people can go and find youand they can see you talking
about this in more detail.
Michael Furcciniti (34:48):
But the other is, I think, the other day
, I saw something that youshowed on Instagram that you
could click on.
Click on it and say show meless of this or show me more or
something.
So how does that work?
Yeah, so you can um, you canchoose interested or not
interested on certain pieces ofcontent, and slowly too much
slow, isn't that?
You can train it on what youwant and don't want to see.
Problem is, firstly, not a lotof people know about that.
Secondly, it requires a lot ofwillpower to be disciplined
(35:09):
enough to actually say I reallydon't want to see this stuff.
You can blacklist words as well.
Fiona Kane (35:16):
So you can blacklist certain words and say I don't
want to see any content that hasthis word in it.
Michael Furcciniti (35:21):
Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
I don don't want to see anycontent that has this word in it
.
Oh yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
I don't know if that extendsinto um speech or if it's just
what's in captions and hashtags,okay, but you can definitely
certain topics.
If you hate a particular brandor whatever, you can just look.
Um, you know it's four up andyou'll have.
(35:45):
I suppose the conversation with, or kids need to be told this
is completely, completely withinyour control.
It's not.
You are not at the mercy ofsocial media, provided you're
diligent about it, yeah, and youcan understand when things are
getting out of hand.
Fiona Kane (36:02):
Yeah.
So essentially, you have toknow that, first of all, what
you're seeing is not the wholeworld, it's just a little
fraction of what they thinkyou're interested in, and,
secondly, you have some controlover what that looks like about
what you see.
The other thing that Iencourage clients to do I just
encourage them to watch more ofthe things they want to see.
(36:24):
So I had a client who wasseeing a lot of stuff she didn't
want to see on Instagram, so Igot her to start watching.
I always joke because latelyI've been watching Capybara
videos and because I've beentalking about them and watching
them.
Oh my God, I get so much.
Every time I open up my phoneit's Capybaras.
Yeah, there you go.
Michael Furcciniti (36:39):
Yeah, there you go.
Fiona Kane (36:40):
I think I've become an expert on capybaras.
I know everything, but you know.
But that's cute.
They're just cute, right.
So I just see this cute littleanimal.
And the thing is, if youactively go on, I had this
client who was.
I got her to, I think, a coupleof times a week.
I was getting her to send mecute videos and the reason I was
(37:03):
getting her algorithm bylooking at them.
So I said I want you to activelylook for videos that make you
smile, that make you happy, thatfeel good, and I want you to
send them to me.
So I know that you're doing itand what I've noticed is most of
my content now is Cappy Burrowsor it's cute videos and stuff.
So you know you can change itjust by what you look at.
Michael Furcciniti (37:23):
Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.
We have a lot more control overit when we think, yes, it's
just, yeah, it's just having thediscipline to control it, yeah.
Fiona Kane (37:34):
Knowing you can control it, learning how to do
that, knowing that you're notseeing everything.
It's not a balanced view onanything, and also just I think
what it comes back down to isyou know, these are discussions
that parents have to have withtheir kids, and schools probably
should have better discussionsabout some of these things.
And you've really got to decidewhen you're going to introduce
(37:57):
your kids to these things.
But even if you're not givingthem a phone or giving them the
internet, they are going to beseeing things at school or at
other friends' devices.
So you still need to start someof these discussions, even if
you're really careful about whatyou're doing with your own
child.
That's right, isn't it?
Michael Furcciniti (38:13):
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
It's not something you cancompletely govern at all and
it's not a matter of protectingthem.
It's not a matter of um.
It's not a matter of protectingthem to say, it's not a matter
of equipping them with the rightknowledge you just cut out a
little bit at the end.
Fiona Kane (38:30):
So you said it's a matter of not so much protecting
them but protecting them withknowledge.
Is that what you just said?
Michael Furcciniti (38:35):
yeah, just equipping them with the right
knowledge, making sure that theyknow equipping them with the
right knowledge so that theyknow yeah, yeah, yeah it's like.
Fiona Kane (38:42):
This is the world I live in.
So, rather than just try andcompletely protect them from it,
how about equip them so thatthey can learn how to live in it
?
That makes a lot of sense,doesn't it?
Michael Furcciniti (38:52):
That's it.
It's that first impression,right?
Yeah, if you can explainsomething to them before they
see it online, I mean yes.
Fiona Kane (38:58):
Yeah.
Michael Furcciniti (39:05):
You have a much better chance of giving
them the right idea or helpingthem see things with a more
balanced view than when they'restill delivered by someone who
doesn't care for their own doing.
Fiona Kane (39:09):
Yeah, exactly, yeah, okay, so that's probably a good
place to leave it.
But is there anything else thatyou would like to add, or do
you feel like that's a goodplace to leave it?
Michael Furcciniti (39:23):
I think it's .
At the end of the day, it comesdown to what happens at home.
There's education has a role interms of what you get taught at
school, how you manage all ofthese things, but it comes down
to good parenting.
You have to be able to have theconversations and have the
(39:44):
courage to tell them what yourvalues are.
Yeah, and this is what webelieve as a family.
They can make up their own mindlater, yeah.
Fiona Kane (39:53):
Yeah, talk to your kids.
Hear them Talk to your kids,teach them your values.
And gone are the days and thisisn't a thing that came up in
adolescence but gone are thedays where you could be sitting
there and the kid's in thebedroom on the computer and you
don't know what they're doingand you don't understand it and
you don't understand.
Oh, instagram, oh, it's thisthing.
I've never heard of it, likewhatever.
You can't not know.
(40:13):
Unfortunately, it's just not anoption.
Michael Furcciniti (40:14):
Yes, yeah, yes, absolutely.
Fiona Kane (40:24):
So I will put your links in their bio but in the
show notes.
Michael Furcciniti (40:26):
But look just where can people find you
just if they want to find outmore about this from you.
Yeah, I think for this kind ofcontent my LinkedIn is probably
the best place.
So LinkedIn, michael.
Fiona Kane (40:35):
Personality on LinkedIn with the proper
spelling in the English speakingsomewhere there yeah, you'll
have to check the show notes forthe spelling and also I'll put
a link for the LinkedIn there aswell.
But you know, I think you'vebeen sharing some interesting
content.
So, yeah, definitely, if you'rea parent or just you're
interested in this topic, it'llbe worth following Michael on
LinkedIn.
So we will put you know.
Check the spelling on the shownotes or just go to the link in
(40:57):
the show notes.
Michael Furcciniti (41:05):
So, look.
Fiona Kane (41:05):
Thank you so much, Michael.
I really appreciate you comingon today to talk to me about
this.
Yes, thanks for having me.
This is a podcast where I liketo have real conversations about
things that matter, and I thinkthat it was a really good
conversation about somethingthat really matters a lot right
now.
So I appreciate you and thankyou for everyone who's watching
and listening.
Please like, subscribe andshare.
I see that when I read thedetails in the back end, it
(41:26):
tells me that 80% of the peoplewho are watching my content or
listening to my content are notsubscribed.
So please subscribe, because itmakes a big difference to how
many people get to see and hearthis content.
So I appreciate all of yoursupport and I'll see you again
next week.
Thanks, bye.
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